you guys i really do feel so fragile. i donāt know if itās my PMDD making everything worse and even more raw but i feel so afraid for myself and scared. i donāt know who to turn to. i donāt have anyone irl i can turn to
like what do i do? nhs is refusing to help me and thereās no one i can talk to in my life. me and my mum still arenāt talking (since november) and our relationship wonāt ever be the same and iām grieving that everyday. i cant forgive her for what sheās done to me. the betrayal and grief is suffocating me. my sister and i donāt speak, that relationship is irreparable. and my friendsā¦ well, they donāt know whatās going on and i canāt talk to them about it. people will see you struggling, your own āfriendsā, and wonāt bother to even text. iām so alone in this world and so lost with no one to turn to. no where to go. iām 30 this year. with no family and friends who i can even call. i cant and donāt want to do this anymore. they tell you it gets better, when? itās been nearly 15 years. iām so tired. and itās not that i havent tried. please donāt read this and think i havenāt tried because iāve been trying since i was little. iāve never just rolled over and given up. iāve ironically nearly killed myself many times by trying so hard. i just donāt have the strength anymore. i wish i could just tell someone whatās happened.
