I fucking want to kill myself.
I haven't been able to do much for days, weeks, because my body and mind suck.
Today, I had planned to do so many things because for once I actually felt less shitty.
I get up at 3 in the afternoon (my sleep schedule is fucked, I fall asleep around 5a.m..., anyway) and I learn than the sister and her boyfriend are coming. WHAT?!
Like... They don't respect anything.
When they come I cannot eat, I cannot shower, I cannot do anything because I am wary of what they are going to do. And whenever I try to wash my hands, they obviously wanna pass right behind me and 🤮
I'm pissed! I wanted to do stuff that I won't be able to do. I don't even know when I will be able to do these stuff, when my body will allow me that.
And him? He DISGUSTS me. He tells me inappropriate stuff IN FRONT OF HER! He spends so little time in the bathroom like it's impossible to be clean in that short amount of time. He has a habit of wanting to "help" teenage girls, like predator much?
Add the racism and homophobia...
I'm just gonna lock myself up in my room...
Update: I also need the exact time...or the approximative hour they're gonna be there...
"Around the end of the afternoon" means NOTHING.
I hurried the hell up. Ate a quick stuff I didn't even want to eat so I feel nauseous. (Yeah, I was able to eat a little because I had a little time) I hope I won't throw up because I have a history of throwing up when I eat reluctantly...
It's 6:15p.m. and they're not here. Good. But that means I could have made food I actually enjoyed. I could have showered...
But, NO. They are incapable giving an actual time.
Update: hearing their voices when they arrive. 🤮 Send help...