It isn’t that I don’t love you just / things fall apart in my well-meaning hands.
Seema Reza, from “I Can’t Sleep,” A Constellation of Half-Lives
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@nevertame
It isn’t that I don’t love you just / things fall apart in my well-meaning hands.
Seema Reza, from “I Can’t Sleep,” A Constellation of Half-Lives
❝ i’m sure that you expected this. ❞
Bruce’s voice is soft as he emerges from the shadow of a tree, gently announces his presence behind Steve. New York is so beautiful, so ——— uncorrupted. It makes him wonder what Gotham even holds for him anymore. ( Gotham’s “golden son”, converting to the other side of the bridge. He can feel his parents spinning in their early graves — but, perhaps they should’ve thought about that before they built their city on blood money. )
The truth is: they were billionaires, Bruce. You can’t amass that kind of wealth without making certain moral compromises. It’s just not possible. That kind of money taints you. It’s never corrupted me.
When Batman invited Captain America to meet in Central Park — no cowls — he honestly wasn’t sure that the man would show / wasn’t sure whether or not the man particularly cared about who lives beneath those pointed ears and holographic eyes. ( He knows that none of the Avengers keep themselves secret from the public — and, despite how often he has to remind Alfred that Gotham needs a hero, he thinks that he would give it all up to live one day without a target on his back. )
That’s why Bruce chose to meet Steve on his own turf, instead of somewhere in Gotham. With all of the scandal ( all of the truth ) coming out about his parents, and the so-called “Children of Arkham” running rampant, the city is far too dangerous now ( — and, after what happened to Harvey, he can’t risk anything happening to Steve. That’s why he chose to meet at all. )
❝ Another rich kid using his parents’ money to play superhero. Least I’m not as flashy about it as Stark. ❞
He offers a hand for Steve to shake, smiles at the corners of his eyes.
❝ Bruce Wayne. Thanks for agreeing to meet me. ❞
He walks Steve over to a nearby bench, takes a seat with his hands in his pockets, head down. ( He knows that he’s at least marginally safer in New York, but anything could always happen. )
❝ Gotham’s falling apart. It’s ... coming to light that my parents were ——— mobsters. Did a lot of bad things to good people, and now those good people want me to pay for it all. ❞ He glances down a walking path, watches couples, families with young children and dogs, thinks that he would give it all up to live one day without a target on his back. ❝ Thing is, if it were really just me, maybe I’d let them — but, they’re hurting other people, too, to draw me out — and, you know me, Steve; I can’t let that happen. ❞
He pulls one of his hands from his pocket, pulls a signaling device emblazoned with a Bat-logo button that he places into Steve’s palm, covers it with his palm. ( Perhaps it’s brazen of him to so openly hold the man’s hand, but he’s sure that Central Park has seen worse than two gay men having a conversation on a bench. )
❝ Anything happens, you use that button to call me directly — day or night — and, I’ll be here as soon as I can. They got one of my friends pretty bad — the DA, Harvey Dent. I don’t think their little “revolution” is going to bleed out of Gotham — but, if they’re targeting people that I care about ... ❞
He lets the predicate hang in the air.
❝ I can’t let anything happen to you, Steve. Sometimes, I feel like you’re the only thing that I care about. ❞ @dreamseat!
A Softer Gotham.
zexion- i mean ienzo is best character.
ienzo scibbles
Little Ienzo ❤📖
insp x x
as soon as she’s lifted up, she settles her cheek atop her father’s shoulder, angles her head to watch the driver trip over his words ( and his feet ) as he speaks. It’s so obvious to little Peggy that the man knows who her father is, because he has the same wide look in his eyes that everyone gets when they speak to him / uses the same polite platitudes and patriotic speech that always makes her other father laugh beneath his breath.
She’s so proud of her father, is always so happy to know that he’s so well-liked! ( She wishes that people liked her appa just as much, but he says that everyone thinks his arm is “creepy”. ) She squeezes her arms around her father’s neck in an affectionate embrace, and he squeezes her back, makes her giggle with the feeling of being tickled.
Eventually, the driver departs, not without a parting gift of a hand-shaped indentation in his front bumper and a sidelong glance at this little girl, this daughter of Captain America himself ( — not without wondering if she somehow inherited his super strength. )
❝ Bye, mister! ❞ she calls out with a jovial wave as he pulls away. ❝ Sorry I broke your car! ❞
I’m so glad you’re safe, honey.
Her dad sounds tired, and she turns her head to nestle into the hollow of his shoulder, cinches her arms again in another hug.
❝ Of course I’m safe, Daddy! It didn’t hurt or anything! Well, ❞ here, she shifts atop the bridge of her father’s arm, ❝ I fell on my butt a little bit, and that hurts, but it’s okay! I’m strong like you and appa, so I can take it! ❞
Next time, make sure you look both ways across the street, okay? We don’t want the drivers to get hurt, either.
❝ I did, Daddy! I promise! and, I didn’t see him! He must’a been driving real fast! I’m sorry, ❞ she adds, a bit quieter. ❝ I don’t wanna hurt anyone. I just couldn’t let him hit me. It was my fault for being out in the street. Are you mad at me? ❞
The thought makes her unbearably sad, and she sniffles, makes a fist to rub stubborn tears from her eyes.
Let’s go and get you cleaned up, okay? Dad will be home soon.
❝ Okay, ❞ she murmurs into the fabric of his shirt, blinks out at the street as her father turns to march them inside. ❝ Are you gonna tell appa? Is — Is he gonna be mad at me, too? ❞ @dreamseat!
“it’s okay, peter!” unmasked, jordyn sets a hand over peter’s own, the hand that holds spider-man’s mask, lowers it down to their sides before he sets both hands firmly upon his boyfriend’s shoulders. “i found out a while ago, i-i just — didn’t want you to worry.” final confirmation: he replaces his own mask, covers half his face in the way spider-man will most assuredly recognize. he settles his hands finally to cup his cheeks. “i’m sorry i didn’t tell you, babe.”
❝ ——— whoa, whoa, whoa! Hey! ❞
Peter’s head is spinning, splitting ( ——— literally? Please don’t be literally, although he supposes that weirder things have happened to him. He’s just impressed that he still remembers his name, remembers that it’s a secret that he has to keep. ) A hand desperately clutches the tattered remnants of his mask ( Mr. Stark is gonna kill him! ) as another hand gently urges him to lower it, let it go,
It’s okay, Peter.
❝ “Peter”? I don’t exactly think we’re on a first-name basis, buddy. ❞
Still, he can’t help but think that this voice sounds awfully familiar, sounds a lot like———
The mask floats to the ground beside them as the voice sets its hands atop his shoulders, and Peter gets a good look at its face for the first time.
❝ Jordyn?! Y—You’re ——— ?! ❞
Blue spandex, sea green accents, water motifs. ( Seems like he took Spider-Man’s advice on how to style up his suit. Peter wishes that didn’t make him feel so warm. Now’s not really the time. )
Jordyn is Hydraeon, the water-manipulating Casanova who’s been making him have a crisis of loyalty for a while now. ( He should’ve known! Why else would Hydraeon flirt with him so relentlessly?! Why else would he have kissed him in that dark alley, with their masks pushed up over their mouths and Spider-Man’s hands roving across his chest? Peter’s felt horrible about that for months! thought that he was cheating on Jordyn with some smooth superhero! and, now they’re the same person?! )
I found out a while ago. I just didn’t want you to worry.
❝ I—I ——— ! Y—You——— ! ❞
Jordyn replaces his mask for further proof, and Peter is so overcome with the desire to kiss him again, to feel what he felt in the alley — confident and strong and enamored with this smooth-talking vigilante who had eyes only for him. ( It was so much better than being in a relationship as Peter Parker, who trips and falls flat over his words constantly / who can’t even tell when his boyfriend is living a double life as a superhero! and Jordyn’s known about him this whole time! )
I’m sorry I didn’t tell you, babe.
Peter wants to kiss him, but he also wants to kill him —and, he might do that first.
❝ H—How?! How did you find out?! How long have you known?! How long were you gonna let me think I was cheating on you with your alter-ego?! ❞
God, his head hurts. He took a bad fall. He massages the back of it, spares a brief glance around the battlefield for Vyrus. ( He hasn’t seen her in a while, or heard from her over their communicators, and he’s starting to get worried. )
Still, he manages a breathless laugh at the absurdity of the situation, offers Jordyn his signature lopsided grin and leans in for a sweet kiss to his lips. ( Maybe being Peter Parker isn’t so bad after all. )
❝ Well, as long as you don’t hold that over my head, I guess I’ll let the other stuff slide. Thanks for not ratting me out. I kinda need this job. ❞
One more kiss, because he’s never been able to help himself when it comes to Jordyn ( — or Hydraeon. He just looks so damn good in this suit. )
❝ Speaking of, we should probably get back to it. Aunt May’ll kill me if I’m not back in time for dinner — and, I gotta find Vy. I haven’t heard from her in a while, and that’s not like her. ❞
bucky feels as though he’s spent his entire life wishing that Steve would stop fighting, feels as though it’s a cruel twist of fate now to wish that he would start. ( There’s no easy way to tell your oldest friend that you want to die, harder still to convince him that you’ve become something that deserves to. )
He knew that Steve was going to protest, and he knows him well enough to hear how strained his protest is — how trapped his voice is in his throat, because it wants to sound angry and frightened but Steve is too disciplined for that, too soldier for that. ( He knows that Steve is trying not to cry ——— and, as much as he hates that he’s hurt the man, Steve has to understand. Sometimes the solution really is that simple. If Bucky weren’t still alive, none of this would be happening. )
We get rid of that book — burn it — and that fake doctor, and HYDRA’ll have nothing on you.
❝ The words are still out there, ❞ he argues, matches Steve’s resolution with his own as the man approaches to free his arm. ( Don’t do that! Steve knows that Bucky would never hurt him, but Steve doesn’t seem to understand that he isn’t all Bucky anymore. ) ❝ You think burning that book is gonna erase them from memory? Steve ——— ❞
We’re going to fix this whole thing, and then we’re gonna get out of here. I’m not killing you, Buck. We’re getting through this, together.
Steve calls him “Buck”, and it makes him feel more human than he ever has before. ( If HYDRA needs ten words to turn him into a monster, then Steve only needs one to give him hope. ) He puts his hands atop his shoulders, as he’s always done since they were young boys with old souls, and Bucky whimpers like a stray dog because it makes him feel so warm and he’d give anything to live here again.
I love you, Buck ——— and I’m with you ‘til the end of the line, just like you said. I haven’t turned my back on you yet. I’m not about to start doing it now.
Winter Soldier aside, Bucky knows that he could never deserve Steve’s righteous kindness, his smile that lights the dark, his patience and understanding and stubborn devotion to everything that matters to him. ( He’s loved Steve for a hundred years — and, that’s something that most people only ever dream of. )
That’s why he cups Steve’s face, gentle as he can remember how to be, kisses him long and deep and full of passion — no more living in a cage, no more secrets.
❝ Fine, ❞ he concedes, dizzy and euphoric. ❝ We’ll do this your way for now, “Captain” ——— but, if I even look like I’m about to hurt you ... don’t let me. Whatever it takes. ❞ @dreamseat!
it’s hard to believe that there was ever a point in time where Bucky was the handsome one with the American smile. He looks at Steve now and withers in the memory of younger men, standing across from each other not unlike this,
Don’t do anything stupid until I get back. How can I? You’re taking all the stupid with you.
Sometimes, he misses that Steve, scrappy kid from Brooklyn that nobody believed in ( — that nobody expected anything from. ) He misses being looked up to — morally, but literally as well. ( It never stops surprising him how much taller Steve is now. )
He misses being the shield ——— or, maybe he never was.
He thinks that the thing about Captain America and the Winter Soldier is that they’re both exactly what they’ve always been: a shield, and a weapon. ( All of these years later, and the name still makes him feel cold / makes his arms fold that much tighter across his chest, because the thing about caging animals is that when you unlock the door, they come out angrier. They come out hungry. )
I owe you an apology. — for what? I told Cap once that you weren’t the kinda guy we save. You were right.
He remembers everything that he’s ever done as the Winter Soldier; less so trips to Coney Island with Steve as a boy, curling up on the couch together after bad dates ( — or, rather, perfectly fine dates that left bad tastes in his mouth, because when he was a heartthrob kissing girls at the carnival, he just wished that they were Steve, and now that Steve is the heartthrob kissing girls in the middle of the street, he still wishes that they were him. ) He remembers the bridges — both of them — remembers the screaming in the back of his mind.
You know me. No, I don’t! Bucky, you’ve known me your whole life. Your name is James Buchanan Barnes. Shut up! I’m not gonna fight you. You’re my friend. You’re my mission. — then, finish it, ‘cause I’m with you ‘til the end of the line.
Maybe it’s selfish, but if he has to lose Steve, then he’d rather it be at his own hands — because he punched him off of the edge when he had the chance instead of a collapsed beam taking him out / instead of knowing that if Steve had the chance to do his life over again, he wouldn’t choose Bucky. He wouldn’t choose a weapon over peace. Neither would Bucky ———
——— which is why when Steve sets his hands atop his shoulders, squeezes them like a promise, Bucky knows that he has to punch Steve off of the edge this time. He has to leave him in the water.
Don’t worry, Buck. I’ll only be five seconds, just like Doctor Hulk says.
Bucky just nods, because all of his years spent living as an animal have taught him to know when he’s being tamed, but the embrace that follows the words genuinely surprises him. It’s gentle — less in a “fragile” sort of way and more as though Bucky were a treasure that Steve could hardly believe he were holding, reverent, a hand cupping the back of his head and the man’s nose tucked into his shoulder. Bucky’s eyes go wide, feral, frantic, and he feels his muscles tense involuntarily / begins to shake / until Sam gives him a reassuring nod from behind Steve.
No, I wasn’t. I know what it’s like to lose someone — and, I know Cap. He wouldn’t put anything over you.
Slowly, gingerly, Bucky unfolds his arms to slide them around Steve, presses into his shoulder, closes his eyes. ( How many years has he spent dreaming of this exact moment? Steve loves him. Steve is choosing him. )
Bucky cinches his arms for added security, speaks into the hollow of Steve’s throat because he can’t bear to let him go.
❝ Five seconds, ❞ he repeats, with the same mischief in his voice that he used to send Steve off before the 107th. Don’t do anything stupid until I get back. ❝ Four ——— ❞ @dreamseat!
Bucky Barnes in Avengers: Endgame (looking like a damn good SNACK)
Dude…. Bro…… What if we Just became Narrative Foils For Eachother Bro……… had a lot of like…..Tension because of the Symbolism in our Character Arcs that becomes clear when Contrasted against each other bro……
“xingba! you plan on lying around all day, or are you actually gonna contribute for once?” ling tong stands impatiently over gan ning, nudges the pirate’s leg with his foot. he sighs, mock exasperation, and extends a hand. “i don’t need to tell you to be at your best — but it bears repeating this time. can’t have you slip up and get yourself killed out there today, okay?” he hates how soft he has grown for the man who killed his father; tries to ignore the way his heart beats so loudly for him.
❝ ——— fuck off. ❞
Gān Níng yawns wide, half-heartedly nudges Gōngjī right back. ( He hadn’t really been asleep, but he’d been damned close — and, maybe he wouldn’t really have dreamt of Gōngjī, but maybe he would’ve come close. ) His arms and legs are spread-eagled, bare chest warmed by the sun, skin tickled by the tall grass. He looks every bit as though he has nothing better to be doing ——— which is unfortunate, considering that they’re currently camped just outside the enemy base, and the rapidly organizing soldiers seem to suggest that Lord Sun Quan plans to move soon.
I don’t need to tell you to be at your best, but it bears repeating this time.
❝ Finally admitting I’m the best, Gōngjī? It’s about damned time! ❞
He doesn’t really need Gōngjī’s help to rise to his feet, but he accepts the proffered hand, anyway; couldn’t bear to watch the man start crying because he’s been spurned. The bells around his waist jingle jangle jingle as he hops up! and, as he finds himself looking up up up into Gōngjī’s eyes, he’s struck by just how much the man resembles his father / how easy it is to remember what these eyes look like when they’re afraid.
If you hear the sound of bells, you should run.
The thing is, he doesn’t really regret killing Ling Cāo. Loyalties move like water, flow like currents; he killed Ling Cāo because he was in Huang Zu’s way ——— and then Huang Zu turned out to be a prick, so he joined Sun Quan ——— and, now, he’d kill absolutely anyone who threatened Ling Gōngjī ( and he’ll try to say that it isn’t just because the man makes him feel as warm as the sun. He doesn’t really regret killing Ling Cāo, but he does regret that look in Gōngjī’s eyes whenever the man remembers him. )
Can’t have you slip up and get yourself killed out there today, okay?
❝ ——— huh? Yeah, right! I’m Gan Xīngbà of the bells! Nobody kills me! You ought’a be more worried about yourself, Gōngjī. I don’t know how you see anything out there with those puppy dog eyes. ❞
Big words, coming from the man still holding Gōngjī’s hand.