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if i look back, i am lost

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@neverxalive
Dispersed;
On my end, I seem to be woefully caught up on starters and threads. If I have somehow missed a reply or a starter, hit me up and I'll get something going, as I am currently withering away from boredom.
somethingxother finally came home
See? Always a catch.Â
[But sheâs smiling. Because even Sally wasnât so cruel as to make them all sit through Twilight. Somewhere in there, she had a heart.] I should have known, youâre a heartbreaker, Aidan. A real fly by night kinda guy. I bet you tell all the girls they get eternity with you.
Then bam, somebody mentions Team Edward and thereâs an Aidan shaped hole in the wall. Iâm on to your game, mister.
{ that yielded a soft chuckle from Aidan as he drew out a chair and sat down, forearms resting on the table. }
Oh, youâre good. Have you thought any more about becoming a â what was it? A supernatural Krav Maga crime fighter? { another of those ridiculous lines that was unlikely to get old. } Who knows, you might really find your niche.
It's definitely still on the table. Just as soon as I perfect my ghost Kung-Fu grip and Judo hip toss. Then it is so totally on. You can even be my sidekick. We'll get you a cape and some super hero undies. You'll be my eternal boy wonder.Â
[Sally was back to sitting on counters, tables and pretty much wherever the hell she pleased. It's not like she was knocking things over as she did it.]
walkingxabovexperdition seems different
[Not that she could place exactly what it was. There was just something about the guy that seemed different.]
Seriously, what is it?
[Because interesting meant following and following meant talking to herself.]
awaytoxtheslaughter has awesome volume
Seriously, your hair has more body than mine.
somethingxother finally came home
It is a superlow blow. But I could do worse. I could do way worse. We could watch Twilight.
[Because there was no worse punishment than making Aidan and Josh watch Twilight. Though for Sally, it was more like utter and unending amusement. Because they were totally big babies about supernatural romances.]
{ â because that never got old, did it. hadnât she asked him and Josh, the day sheâd met them, if they intended to go all âTwilightâ on each other? That was one franchise that Aidan still maintained was a leading cause of dementia due to prolonged exposure. }
If weâre going the Twilight route, you and I might have to revise our definition of âeternity.âÂ
See? Always a catch.Â
[But she's smiling. Because even Sally wasn't so cruel as to make them all sit through Twilight. Somewhere in there, she had a heart.] I should have known, you're a heartbreaker, Aidan. A real fly by night kinda guy. I bet you tell all the girls they get eternity with you.
Then bam, somebody mentions Team Edward and there's an Aidan shaped hole in the wall. I'm on to your game, mister.
somethingxother finally came home
I am going to find the worst chick flick in the history of humanity.
[Why yes, that might have just been unholy glee. Because Nora would be down to go, which meant Josh had to sit through it as well. Maybe they could even talk Emily into going. It would be like a family affair, and Sally couldnât deny the joy in being able to have a family outing. Even if she was invisible and couldnât eat popcorn until her stomach hurt.]
Maybe some kind of historical romance. And you canât complain about the costumes until itâs over, you promised.
[Sally waggled a finger in his face, practically bouncing up and down where she was sitting.]
⊠You wouldnât.Â
{ but she probably would, and that was actually almost a good thing. he didnât stay poker-faced for long enough to contain a quiet chuckle, releasing it as he carded a hand through his hair and straightened up from where heâd been leaning. slipping his hands into the pockets of his jeans, Aidan hiked both eyebrows at the prospect of a âhistorical romance.â }
Oh, câmon. Isnât that kind of a low blow? â And itâs not just the costumes, donât even get me started on the accents.
{ again, mock indignation followed by a smile. }
Pick whatever you want. Seriously. I will suffer in silence. Josh, probably not so much.Â
It is a superlow blow. But I could do worse. I could do way worse. We could watch Twilight.
[Because there was no worse punishment than making Aidan and Josh watch Twilight. Though for Sally, it was more like utter and unending amusement. Because they were totally big babies about supernatural romances.]
almostxnormal is not an effective flosser
Missed a spot.
[Because nothing said âGood Morningâ quite like appearing in the bathroom without warning.]
Oh my Gâ you know what, seriously, one of these days you are literally gonna give me a heart attack.Â
{ And no, he did not just flinch hard enough to knock an open bottle of mouthwash into the sink. Because he was definitely used to this by now. }
At least now we have Nora here to do CPR?Â
[Yeah, she was definitely nice enough to not mention the mouthwash thing. At least for the moment.]
And you had pants on this time. So that's a plus.
Dispersed;
So I owe a bunch of people starters. Thank you guys so much for following! Sorry if most of my starters are 'Sally follows people like a creeper 101' but that's the best I can come up with XD.
Feel free to send me asks if you have any ideas, or if you want to start or do something, just tag me!
somethingxother finally came home
[Not for the first time, Sally considers saying something. After all this time, she couldnât exactly deny that the twist in her chest had more to do with Aidan than just being seen. The closest sheâd ever come to truly confessing it was when she gave herself over to Donna. It wasnât that she hadnât told Aidan she loved him before, it was just that Sally had never admitted the truth of it. But then, in that momentâŠit had been pure honesty.
Only now she was back and intangible and Aidan had a very human, very touchable girl who made him smile and she wasnât going to do anything to stand in the way of that.]
And my Mom said no guy would want to spend eternity with me. Take that, mom.Â
She underestimated you.Â
{ devotion and loyalty to them, to Sally and Josh, were habits of long-standing in Aidanâs reality. there wasnât a shortage of justifications to make it all seem cut and dried because they were friends, they were family and they looked out for each other. but that was the simplified version. the distilled version. that it was much more complicated and much deeper went without saying. Sally was⊠well, kind of a special case, if he were being honest with himself. she kind of always had been.
and really, who better to be âstuckâ with for eternity than someone who stood to lose as much as you did?
he watched her for a beat, then raised a brow and smiled again. }
Still up for that movie â?
I am going to find the worst chick flick in the history of humanity.
[Why yes, that might have just been unholy glee. Because Nora would be down to go, which meant Josh had to sit through it as well. Maybe they could even talk Emily into going. It would be like a family affair, and Sally couldn't deny the joy in being able to have a family outing. Even if she was invisible and couldn't eat popcorn until her stomach hurt.]
Maybe some kind of historical romance. And you can't complain about the costumes until it's over, you promised.
[Sally waggled a finger in his face, practically bouncing up and down where she was sitting.]
somethingxother finally came home
[That was Aidan in a nutshell. A man who could make his own problems seem insignificant next to yours, no matter how petty or stupid your problems were. He had always gone out of his way to make sure Sally was taken care of, even when his life was in the crapper. Even infected with the virus, heâd worried about her.]
Iâm good. Everythingâs good. Why wouldnât everything be⊠[She could see that look. The gentle âIâm calling your bullshitâ look that Aidan had probably been perfecting for centuries.] Okay. I will, okay? Things get bad, and I will definitely tell you.Â
I just keep thinking aboutâŠlater. Josh and Nora, theyâre not going to be around forever. Theyâre going to get adorable and old and theyâre going to go straight through their doors and then theyâll be gone. And if something happens to youâŠif you decideâŠ
[Alone. Sheâd be alone and there was no thought more terrifying.]
{ heâd been right, as expected, but there wasnât any satisfaction to be drawn from that. of course, Josh and Nora and the impending sea change had already crossed his mind. or more accurately, settled in his mind and made camp there. by rights, they had sixty or seventy long, good years ahead of them, but theyâd be going their own way well before that. soon, in all probability. they defied the odds and achieved something like stability, like normalcy, and it was an incredible thing.Â
still, Sallyâs fear wasnât an unfamiliar one. immortality was a double-edged sword and nothing like how people perceived it to be. his expression softened. if he couldâve reached out to provide tangible comfort, he wouldâve done. }
⊠Yeah. Youâre right, theyâre gonna go off and spend the rest of their lives together, but you know what? You, Sally the ghost, are stuck with me regardless.Â
[Not for the first time, Sally considers saying something. After all this time, she couldn't exactly deny that the twist in her chest had more to do with Aidan than just being seen. The closest she'd ever come to truly confessing it was when she gave herself over to Donna. It wasn't that she hadn't told Aidan she loved him before, it was just that Sally had never admitted the truth of it. But then, in that moment...it had been pure honesty.
Only now she was back and intangible and Aidan had a very human, very touchable girl who made him smile and she wasn't going to do anything to stand in the way of that.]
And my Mom said no guy would want to spend eternity with me. Take that, mom.Â
somethingxother finally came home
You totally will criticize. Not verbally, but I know you. I know the Aidan Huff of Cultured Disdain.
[They were getting good at this. Pretending things never happened. That she hadnât been on her way to being more of a monster than Josh and Aidan combined. That she hadnât looked Aidan in the eye and thought she would never see that weird little indented smile of his ever again.Â
She would get better at it. Pretending she wasnât walking the halls at night, fingertips trailing against walls she couldnât feel and lamenting every chance she had to brush Noraâs hair or press up against Josh on the couch. That she didnât look at Aidanâs slim fingers and regret like it was a physical force.
But for now, theyâd just sweep it under the rug and let life or what they had of it, go on.]
Iâll make you a deal. I will not huff, I will not comment and I will even go as far as raiding the concession stand so that you and I can pretend to enjoy popcorn. On one condition.Â
{ his tone didnât lose its lightheartedness but there was honest concern tempering his smile. they could keep this up forever, literally, acting out the steps of a well-choreographed dance and glossing over scar tissue that was still raw â they had some practice at that. Aidan had a lot of practice at that. but he had to say his bit first. eyes still on Sally, he crossed his arms loosely over his torso and leaned back against the refrigerator. }
I can only imagine how tough this must be for you, so I want you to promise me that if you ever get scared, if you feel like you might slip, if you get bored at four oâclock in the morning⊠â youâll say something. And weâll figure it out. Okay?
[That was Aidan in a nutshell. A man who could make his own problems seem insignificant next to yours, no matter how petty or stupid your problems were. He had always gone out of his way to make sure Sally was taken care of, even when his life was in the crapper. Even infected with the virus, he'd worried about her.]
I'm good. Everything's good. Why wouldn't everything be... [She could see that look. The gentle 'I'm calling your bullshit' look that Aidan had probably been perfecting for centuries.] Okay. I will, okay? Things get bad, and I will definitely tell you.Â
I just keep thinking about...later. Josh and Nora, they're not going to be around forever. They're going to get adorable and old and they're going to go straight through their doors and then they'll be gone. And if something happens to you...if you decide...
[Alone. She'd be alone and there was no thought more terrifying.]
almostxnormal is not an effective flosser
Missed a spot.
[Because nothing said 'Good Morning' quite like appearing in the bathroom without warning.]
theunspeakablething doesn't seem to own a shirt
[Not that she was complaining. No, at this point she wasnât even feeling guilty about going back to creeper mode. Not like anyone could see her.]
[Funny. He wasnât expecting any visitors, much less one who was lacking a scent and a heartbeat, but, hey, Mitchell was Mitchell, and the fact that she was staring at him wasnât going to stop him from being friendly.]
Hey. Er- can I help you?
[Maybe it was good karma. Because there were more people who could see her this time. Maybe it was the universe's way of making up for the suckiness of being basically invisible again.]
somethingxother finally came home
[Since her death (the first one, how ridiculous was that?) Sally had been equipped with woefully few constants. Josh and Aidan were about it. And yeah, maybe it sucked not being able to eat or to hit on guys or dance all night out at the club. But she had Josh and Josh had Nora, and she had Aidan and Aidan had Kat and this had taken a sudden turn for the depressing.]
You love it. You havenât been this popular in centuries.
[The words are utterly affectionate. This was nice. This was what her life was. And there was no gift that was worth the price of giving this up.]
We should go see a movie or something.
â Oh, is that right?
{ the moment of feigned indignation gave way to a sincere smile as he exhaled a laugh. taking this at face value, he could almost pretend like nothing had changed. that didnât erase the damage that was done, but Sally herself was testament to her own âsilver liningâ spiel. underneath the nonchalance, Aidan knew she couldnât deny how much truth there was in it. their motley crew of a family was restored and hadnât that been the goal all along? }
See? There you go. Pick a movie. I wonât criticize, I promise.
You totally will criticize. Not verbally, but I know you. I know the Aidan Huff of Cultured Disdain.
[They were getting good at this. Pretending things never happened. That she hadn't been on her way to being more of a monster than Josh and Aidan combined. That she hadn't looked Aidan in the eye and thought she would never see that weird little indented smile of his ever again.Â
She would get better at it. Pretending she wasn't walking the halls at night, fingertips trailing against walls she couldn't feel and lamenting every chance she had to brush Nora's hair or press up against Josh on the couch. That she didn't look at Aidan's slim fingers and regretlike it was a physical force.
But for now, they'd just sweep it under the rug and let life or what they had of it, go on.]
notxagift is pretty furry right now
Aww! Poor thing. Youâre hungry. If I thought you could follow me back to the house without someone calling Animal Control, I would. My best friend is wolf, you know. Not all the timeâŠbut some of the time. Itâs a monthly gift kind of thing.
[She knelt, reaching out even though her fingers passed right through the wolfâs snout.]Â
[It was the weirdest thing, her hand passing through his nose like that. He could literally feel her inside of him and eW, gROSS. Was this what it felt like when girls lost their virginity?] Rrr. [It was definitely a growl as he pulled back, teeth flashing because wow, that literally gave him chills from being so icky.]
Don't you 'rrr' me, Mister. I'm the one trying to be friendly with you. So there. You keep this up, and you can dumpster dive all by your lonesome.
[The one perk to not having a body? Not having to be afraid of fricking wolves.]