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Suggestion: Mask

[Time Spent: 30 minutes]

More than anything Marcos would love never to have to wear that mask of ice, but he knows it will be a long time before that happens. Wearing that mask is a reminder of Marcos’ mortality as he feels his breath bouncing back on himself and hears his racing shallow breathing. There are times when Marcos feels alive when he’s in a fight, but most of the time he’s just thinking of how he can he stay alive for a little bit longer. Marcos is a good person at heart, but his fear of death will eventually test him on what matters the most for him. Will he think of himself or risk his life to hopefully save someone else. The only person Marcos seems to stick his neck out for is Juliet and Marcos can’t explain it himself aside from that he sees her as his equal. All his life Marcos has seen people defend him, now he’s defending himself and Juliet, but is there anyone else he’s willing to protect?

In a world where having magic abilities isn’t uncommon, two teenagers Marcos and Juliet both have the ability to create and manipulate ice, however their abilities with it are much different. Juliet is able to create a seemingly endless amount of ice, but it isn’t cold to the touch and she doesn’t have the ability to finely control it. Marcos is the opposite that is his ice is some of the coldest known to man and he’s able to manipulate it to a near microscopic level, but he can only generate so much before tiring out, instead he relies on using the same ice for multiple purposes.

While Juliet normally fights with an entire suit of ice encasing her, Marcos instead covers very important places like his heart and face. Marcos creates a mask that wraps around the front and back of his head, the only thing can be seen is his hair and his eyes, even his eyes are protected by a thin layer of ice. The reason why Marcos covers his face is not only to protect his head, but it’s also to hide his emotions. Marcos learned from his siblings’ mistakes that people will take advantage of you and he wanted to avoid that risk as much as possible. Marcos wanted to make sure that no one was able to see through what he was thinking. He especially didn’t want people to see the fear he carried every time he was in a fight.

Juliet was always looking for a good fight, but she was able to stand toe to toe with her tall muscular shape and endless amounts of ice. Marcos on the other hand knew that every time he was in a fight he was putting himself into danger that could lead to death. Marcos had the frailest body of all his siblings and his strength was below average at best. What Marcos had to rely on was his wits, speed, and precision. Every single time that Marcos stood up to someone he fought the urge to run because as much as he wanted to prove himself he wanted to stay alive even more.

Marcos came from royalty and was the youngest of his siblings, it was never believed that the throne would be passed down to Marcos, he was much too weak and all of his siblings before him would have to be unable to take the throne. But just like that Marcos watched as all of his siblings were taken away from him. Marcos oldest brother was killed in a battle with a warring neighbor nation. His next sibling, the eldest daughter was poisoned in a diplomatic meeting, to this day they are still unsure of who could have done this. The next in line was driven insane and the list continued, until there was no one left to take the throne, but Marcos.

Marcos was not the smartest of his siblings, but he was certainly no fool and could see how things were developing after his oldest sister was assassinated. So Marcos spent all his time practicing and studying, not in preparation to take the throne, but to avoid it and everything that came along with it. Marcos loved his family, but he loved staying alive much more and he departed with Juliet before he could be appointed next to take the throne. People assumed he gone to find the people responsible for his family’s killers, but in reality Marcos was running from his family’s legacy and curse.

Marcos comes off as arrogant and even cocky at times, while he believes that he has the skill, he still harbors fears and other negative feelings. Marcos believes it’s more important for his rivals and enemies to believe that he’s underestimating his opponent than for them to realize how terrified he really is. Marcos doesn’t fight for glory or the satisfaction of winning, he does it because he doesn’t have any other option. Marcos will go through every possibility before fighting because in a fight, one mistake is it all takes; Marcos remembers that lesson from his oldest brother.

Marcos doesn’t consider himself a coward because he’s gotten into enough fights even though every fiber in him was telling him to run and he knows it’s only human nature to want to live, but there are moments where his body freezes up and he hates himself for it. Marcos has never admitted it, but he’s envious of Juliet as he feels like she’s everything he’s not; she’s confident, strong, never tires, and doesn’t back away from a fight. One day those feelings will cause Marcos to do something reckless, whether it’s for the best is a story for another time.

#krog #speed writing #newdaynewword #mask

the thing that makes you happy

[Time spent: 30 minutes]

So everyone says you’re supposed to be with the one thatmakes you happy and don’t get me wrong he did make me happy, I just didn’t feel…like he was the one for me. Does that even make sense? Like he was the one forsomeone and I was worried I already had missed mine, so I didn’t feel likeletting him go. Eh, I guess that’s not even true… I guess the best word todescribe how I felt was that I felt comfortable like a job you don’t reallyhate, but it doesn’t feel fulfilling either. You just stick with it and thenyou realize you’ve been doing the same unexciting thing for over twenty years.I had been feeling that way for a few months and I wanted to break it off, butI don’t know… I guess I just didn’t have to heart to tell him… He just seemedso happy and I didn’t want to ruin it, I wasn’t unhappy, I just wasn’t thathappy…

If it isn’t obvious I’m talking about my boyfriend, well ex…technically? You see he’s not with us anymore cause he… died. I kept tellmyself that I was going to tell him and I told myself was going to be the day.Okay, so maybe it wasn’t going to be that today was going to be the day, butI-I was building up to it. Who knows, if things had gone differently I wouldhave told him… *sigh* Is it wrong that I wanted to break up with him? He wasn’tterrible or a jerk, I just wasn’t feeling it anymore and then this had tohappen…

It turns out that the reason he didn’t make it was cause hewent out of his way to help save some people from a fire and ended up dyingfrom his injuries. I didn’t even get a chance to see him one last time… Seewhat I mean, he was great and always went out of his way to help people,including me. *sigh* I told him one day that him always sticking his neck outfor people was going to get him killed. Tch, I kept saying that as a joke… Ididn’t actually think it would actually happen. Maybe I wanted to break up withhim because I thought I didn’t deserve him? … That’s not true, either…

I don’t know… Also please don’t think I didn’t ever careabout him. I did love him, but that was probably when we were first dating andthere was magic, but I guess I got tired of seeing the same magic tricks… Hewas great, but he kept doing this routine and eventually I became part of theroutine… Could I have talked to him about it? Probably. But as you’ve alreadyheard me struggling to break up with him, I had a hard time with communication.

I feel like I shouldn’t feel guilty, but I am… Like somehowthis is my fault… I shouldn’t feel that way… There’s nothing wrong with wantingto break up with someone, but now it feels like the world decided we needed tobe apart if I wasn’t going to do something about it. I-I know that soundscrazy, but how else should I feel… Hearing his friends and family talk aboutme, only it makes it worse. Oh and I’m intentionally saying his friends becauseI realized they weren’t my friends, they just associated me with Robert causethat’s all they saw me as, his girlfriend. Damn… Was that the first time Iactually said his name?

Hmm, maybe that’s the biggest problem with our relationship.I mean was… that I never felt fulfilled in it, I felt more like an obligation.We definitely spent time together, but because there was always a time for us,there was never a chance for us to do something spontaneous or on the spot. Inever was surprised because I knew we had something happening… even when hetried to surprise me, all I could muster was a smile and fake enthusiasm… Fuck,this is a great topic to talk about… Still, I feel like I need to sort throughthese things now, just wish I had done it sooner…

You want to know the worst part? His friends and familywouldn’t stop telling me how much he loved me. In response all I could say wasI could tell how much he cared or lie and say I felt the same way about him… Ifelt like a person who didn’t belong like I was someone that trespassing thatsomehow the only reason I was allowed there was because Robert gave mepermission to be there. *Sigh* The real kicker was when his parents told methat he was planning to propose to me. That was when I had a genuine responseand started to cry. I think it was the guilt and frustration that caused me tofinally break down. This is going to sound terrible, but it was a lot easier tobe around all of them after that… their gazes no longer judgmental and insteadwere filled with pity. To be honest, I felt like pitying myself that day.

Guh, this is making me feel like shit. This all feels soself-centered and Robert’s now gone… I said I should sort through thesefeelings, but now I’m just wracked with conflicted feelings. Maybe I should dothis another time… *Sigh* But when will I get another chance? Work’s giving metime off and everyone knows I’m in “grieving,” which is true I guess…

…

Damn it. They say do the things that make you happy and findthe one that makes you happy. I don’t know if it’s happy, but I want to getdrunk. It’s not exactly an orthodox breakup, but I suppose it still is abreakup. No one’s going to fault me for drinking a little, but I might. I thinkI’ve been thinking for too long with a sober mind. I kind of want to not worryand let myself pick up the pieces tomorrow. So I think I’m going to do justthat.

#krog #speed writing #newdaynewword #the thing that makes you happy

greasy bangs

[Time spent: 31 minutes]

Thomas King is the quarterback of his college football teamand he’s supposed to be the all-star of his team, but instead he’s having anintervention with his coach. Like any football player, Thomas is well built,but has long hair that covers his face, the only time it isn’t is when he’splaying and has it tied up. Thomas doesn’t see why he’s here, but he decides tocome so he can tell him his complaints about the rest of the team. When Thomasenters the room, Coach Mctaven is busy in thought, but not so much that hedoesn’t notice Thomas. Coach Mctaven is middle aged, but you can still tellthat he was muscular in his younger days, in fact he still could be if he tookbetter care of himself.

Thomas looks around the room uncomfortably and says, “Youwanted to see me, coach?”

“Yeah,” the coach says with resignation in his voice andmotions to a chair across from his desk, “come on and sit down.”

Thomas runs his hand through his hair and says, “Alright.”

Thomas sits down and continues to look around the room. Bothof them are quiet, Thomas doesn’t say a word because he knows that the coachwas in one of his moods and was best to not interrupt his thinking. Howeverjust because Thomas knew not to say anything, didn’t mean he wouldn’t show hisdiscontent as he let out a big sigh.

“You want to say something Thomas,” Mctaven’s voice saidgruffly.

“Well…,” Thomas ran his hand through his hair, “You saidthat you wanted to talk to me, but we’ve sitting here and we haven’t talked.”

Mctaven closed his eyes and said, “Get a damn haircut,Thomas.”

Thomas stood up with his eyes about to bulge from theirsockets. He shouted, “What did you say?”

“You heard me, Thomas. I want you to shape up and thatstarts with your appearance.”

“Bullshit. You’re telling me to shape up, while the rest ofthe team is still acting like shits. I’m doing my part, but they aren’t holdingup their part of the deal.”

Mctaven took a deep breath and said, “I know. However justbecause they have things to work on doesn’t mean that you’re getting out ofthis scot-free. You’re frustrated, but that doesn’t mean that you get to actlike the rest of them. You’re the leader of this team and I expect you to actlike one.”

Thomas rolled his eyes and said, “Yeah, it’s my hair that’sthe problem. Why don’t you tell me how I need to dress when I’m not playing next?”

Mctaven’s eyes got narrow as he said, “Which brings me to mynext topic.”

“Fuck off,” Thomas said.

“You want to stay on this team,” Mctaven said as he rosefrom his chair.

“What does it matter if I stay on this worthless team? Ijoined this team because it had a reputation of being the best, but now we’rethe laughing stock of the entire league. It’s pathetic,” Thomas said with adisgusting smile.

“No. You joined this team because you got offered ascholarship, which means you better start listening to what I say or else you’reeither going to have start figuring out how you’re going to pay for everythingor get out of this town,” Mctaven said as he walked towards Thomas.

Thomas could feel his muscles stiffen as his coach gotclose. Thomas bit the inside of his lip before he could respond.

“Do I make myself clear,” Mctaven said as he stared Thomasin the eyes.

“Yes sir,” Thomas said as he glared back at Mctaven.

“Good,” Mctaven said as he walked away and back into hischair.

“Are we done? Anything else you want me to change,” Thomassaid.

“Yeah, I want you to actually spend time with the rest ofthe team,” Mctaven said as he started to go through his desk.

“Come on, coach. It’s one thing for you to ask me to changemy appearance, but now you’re asking me to do the impossible. I’m cool withsome of them, but all of the linemen would be happy if I get killed on thefield. In fact they make that quite clear during practice when they can’t evendefend me for a second,” Thomas said exasperated.

“Yeah, I know. But those idiots won’t make the first move,they’re too stubborn. You are too, but at least I want the leader of this teamto do something about this,” Mctaven said.

Mctaven pulled out a book and started to flip through it.Thomas shook his head and paced around the room before he said, “And whathappens when they refuse to hear me out.”

“Then I guess you won’t be able to live up to your dad’slegacy,” Mctaven said flipping through his book and not looking up.

“Great you bring my dad up, when he at least had a team thathad his back. I have a team that has my back because they want to be the firstones to stab it,” Thomas said with his hands up in the air.

“I suggest you have a talk with your father then. Maybe hecan give you some pointers since you can’t do anything by yourself,” Mctavensaid as he closed his book.

“Fine. We done,” Thomas asked.

“For now,” Mctaven said and shooed Thomas away.

Thomas rolled his eyes and walked out of Coach Mctaven’soffice. Mctaven watched as Thomas left and walked over to his wall with all hisphotos of his days as a football player. He stopped at one of his photos withhim with the championship trophy.

“Thomas, you and your father are not that different. Let’shope you can learn the lessons your father finally got through his thick skull.”

#krog #speed writing #newdaynewword #greasy bangs

anxiety

[Time spent: 30 minutes]

Just be confident they say and I know it sounds simple, butif it was that easy do you think I’d have this problem? I know there’s goodparts about me, but I know that I have my bad parts just like anyone else and Idon’t care what anyone says about it. I’m just worried that everyone can seeall the bad parts and none of the good. Or maybe they see the good and try tooverlook the bad, but I don’t think that’s any better because then it feelslike I’m a burden to them. I don’t want people to pity me and I know asking themwon’t give me an honest answer, unless they’re that kind of person.

I guess I’ve always struggled with these feelings since Iwas little. I grew up in a typical Asian house, where being excellent atsomething was always the goal, I even found out that’s why my sister and I havenames that start with A because even at the beginning she wanted us to have anA; a bit much I know, but my parents have always been superstitious. It alsodidn’t help that my older sister, Ana was the epitome of the perfect studentand child, so I was always in her shadow. It wasn’t good enough that I wasgood, I had to be great like my sister. Everything that my sister excelled atmeant that much more I had to live up to because if she can do it, why can’t I.

But it wasn’t just with my family, even with my friends Ifelt like I wasn’t good enough. My name is Andrew, but with all my friends I’mknown as Drew or more specifically and Drew; the reason I’m called that isbecause ever since Kindergarten I went to school with another kid named Andrew,I was the one relegated to Drew, just because all the kids learned his namebefore mine. So now whenever we’re together we’re known as Andrew and Drew. Itried to distance myself from the name, but even the teachers went along withthis naming convention and it stuck. I guess I kind of resigned myself to itbecause it wasn’t worth arguing and all the kids asking why I was making such abig deal about it. Yeah, no big deal it’s not like my name got changed for the entiretyof my academic career. It’s fine.

All of this is probably the reason I struggled with schoolmy senior year of high school, but I guess that’s not an excuse, at least notfor anyone around me. Thankfully this started happening after college applicationsor my parents would have flipped. Well they would have if it weren’t for themgoing through a divorce right now. It’s also the reason why my sister movedback in to help my mom pay the bills. I thought I wouldn’t have to deal with mysister after she left for college, but that was just wishful thinking. Besideseven when she was gone, I still had to deal with my parents constantly tellingme about her accomplishments. I get it, she’s the favorite. They’ve never saidthat to my face, but I know and the fact that all their passwords use her nameis a nice reminder. So even when I want to forget things by watching Netflix, Ioccasionally have to write her name out for some peace of mind. Perfect.

I’m sure that there are plenty of kids who have to gothrough this kind of thing, but I don’t think they have to deal with the otherstuff things I have to deal with… like the fact that part of my fears anddoubts have taken form and life. I guess I have should opened up with thatpart. I don’t know when it happened, but one day this figure appeared and won’tleave me alone. It’s constantly telling me all the things I already think about;like how I’m pretty sure my friends are just being nice, but don’t really likeme, the fact that I’m not as good as my sister, or just the fact that I shouldbe more confident. It has this black and white frame and doesn’t really looklike anything besides a human. I know that’s not descriptive, but then again Idon’t think you’d believe me cause apparently only certain people can see thisthing.

I don’t even remember when it showed up, but I think it wasaround the time that I got my first college rejection letter. I felt so ashamedabout it because it was my number one school and then I heard a voice tellingme about how I should have expected this. It was around this time that Istarted hiding things from my friends and family. I mean how was I going toexplain to my parents that I wasn’t able to get into my dream college cause mysister was able to or how the fact that there’s now some entity following me aroundconstantly. Yeah, all of them would think that’s normal and not that I’ve gone completelymad.

I guess it’s not all bad, I’ve actually met some otherpeople like me. Something about how they’ve all had their “moments.” I’m notquite sure what that means, but it’s comforting, like they understand me. That’sthe good part, the bad part is that apparently I’ll never be able to live anormal life. So because I have this entity they call a “shadow”, I can’t goback and apparently there are people looking for me. They’re looking for mebecause I have this shadow and they have this idea that we should all unite andtake over. That all sounds great, but I just want to live normal life and behappy. Instead I’m living every moment in fear that someone is either going tokidnap, kill, or indoctrinate me.

I know this all sounds hard to believe because I had a hardtime processing this when they first explained it to me. I wanted this all tobe some absurdly long dream or hallucination, but if it is, I’m not going to bewaking up from this dream for a long time. So now I’m living double life, whereI try to be a normal student and at the same time engage with what are possiblyall powerful beings. No pressure.

So yes, when people tell me to be confident, I’ll just dothat. Cause I guess if I’m going to get through all of this, I’ll need someconfidence or maybe courage or stupidity? You know I would just settle for dumbluck. Let’s see if I can survive and manage to get passing grades.

#krog #speed writing #anxiety #newdaynewword

lonely cactus

[Time spent: 31 minutes]

If you ever find yourself in a desert, hope that you findyourself lucky enough to find an oasis or at the very least a cactus to gainwater. If you can’t find a cactus well hope that one finds you. Now this isn’tthe dehydration getting to you, there are stories of a cactus that actuallymoves. To explain how this cactus came to be, we need to go back to thebeginning, when it was just a small plant.

This cactus was so small that it had just sprouted and wasleft defenseless with no spikes or thorns to defend itself, but that was fineit was surrounded by other cactus who sheltered it. The young cactus didn’tunderstand why the others were so defensive, but that was because it hadn’texperienced what they had gone through. The young cactus was still naïve anddidn’t understand how the creatures of the desert were desperate, willing to doanything to get that precious water.

The young cactus didn’t think of anything at first when someof the other cactus went missing or were injured, even if it started to havequestions the other cacti would make it look the other way. For some reason theother cacti saw something special about this particular cactus and wanted tokeep it safe even from the reality of their situation. So the young cactus grewup living blissfully unaware of the things going around him, at least until itgrew older.

The cactus finally started to see the reality of thesituation when what was a large group of cacti had dwindled down to only ten.The cactus saw the brutality of when a traveler had harvested one of itsfriends for its water. The cactus wanted to help, but there was nothing itcould do, its roots were deep into the ground and as much as it tried to moveit was firmly stuck in the ground. The cactus felt foolish for not noticing untilnow, it wished it had grown up sooner and matured to have spikes to protectitself, but now it was defenseless. The only thing that protected the cactuswas its friends that had surrounded it and kept it safe, but for how long.

Fortunately for the cactus not many creatures came throughthe desert and the cactus was able to remain with its friends, but every fewyears or even months it would lose one of its friends. The cactus felt ashamedof itself because it knew its friends were being taken away because of it andthere was nothing the cactus could do to protect its friends. Inevitably thenumbers dwindled down to only the cactus and two others. The three stayedtogether and hoped that they the worst was finally past them, but they werewrong.

A traveling nomadic group came across the cacti and noticedhow easy it would be to harvest the thornless cactus. The other cacti tried toprotect their friend, but it was only a temporary distraction as the nomadscircled the cacti. The cacti told the cactus that it had to stay alive as thenomads approached them. The cactus was confused by what they could be sayingand the cacti said the cactus had to do something.

Now it was at this time that the cactus did the only thingit could think to do and that was to run. The cactus had managed to pull itselffrom the ground and without any thought ran away from the nomads. The nomadsand the cactus’ friends were in disbelief at what they were witnessing. Thenomads took a moment before giving chase to the running cactus, but they wereunable to keep up and the remaining cacti were able to feel relief in knowingtheir belief of that cactus being special was right. It is said that the nomadsrecorded that the running cactus had left water in the air and sand as it ranas if it was crying.

Now this running cactus had nowhere to go as it was surethat its friends would no longer be there if he ever came back and it did notdare see what would happen to them. So the cactus continued doing what feltnatural, running. The cactus kept running through the desert avoiding anycontact with living creatures in fear of what they may do. Some believe thatthe cactus runs to avoid getting caught, but others believe the cactus runs inhopes of finding another cactus like itself.

Occasionally the cactus will stop to gain nutrients from theground and water, but it tries to not stay in one place for too long. Thecactus now has thorns covering its body, but it’s believed that these spikesare not naturally grown and instead of picked up from the remains of othercacti. Perhaps the cactus does this to protect itself, maybe it does thisbecause it misses the other cacti, or it could be that the cactus doesn’t feellike a real cactus and does it best to resemble what it thinks a cactus shouldbe.

Sometimes the cactus will come across an oasis and staythere to converse with the flora, but it is only briefly. The flora says it iswelcome to stay, but the cactus humbly declines their offer. The cactus claimsto feel more comfortable by itself, but that is questionable. Those who haveclaimed to see the cactus say that the cactus is much slower at an oasis, as ifit doesn’t want to leave.

Most sightings by humans of the cactus are from those whoare going through dehydration. These humans only see the cactus briefly beforepassing out and awaking feeling their thirst quenched and in the shade. Theyclaim that this roaming cactus is the one that saved them, but there is noevidence of their claims and no one dares to risk going into the desert toprove their claims.

The cactus roams around the desert and sometimes nears theend where it sees much more lush land, but it still decides to remain in thedesert. The cactus could leave, but it wants to stay in what it feels is homeand still part of it hopes to run into another cactus, ideally one that likeitself so the two of them could run together forever.

#krog #speed writing #lonely cactus #newdaynewword

what the color pink tastes like

[Time Spent: 34 minutes]

“Remember this doesn’t mean anything,” Valerie said, werethe words that echoed in Alan’s head.

It had been nearly a day since the two had made out and Alanknew he should stop thinking about it, but how could he not? Valerie was one ofhis best friends and she was his first kiss. It was supposed to be somethingquick and painless, but now Alan was agonizing over what he was going to dowhen he saw her next.

What had happened was the two were with Alan for his goingaway party to college. Everyone was having a good time and drinking even thepeople who shouldn’t be. There were talks of all their accomplishments, none ofthem involving academics, they were things like who they managed to taste andall the dumb things they were able to get away with. Eventually the attentionwas brought to Alan who for a new high schooler, he had nothing to talk about.You see Alan was social, but he mostly kept to himself because his brother wasso much the center of attention. So Alan had nothing to talk about when itbecame his turn.

In fact he didn’t get what everyone was talking about whenall the guys asked if he knew what the taste of pink was like, instead hethought they were asking if he knew what a kiss was like. Alan tried to stammerhis way through an explanation, but before he could even finish a sentence allthe bros laughed and walked away. Alan was red in the face as he looked downand his head reeled back ever so slightly as a bottle of hard cider appeared.Alan looked up to see his friend, Valerie handing him the drink and it took hima second to accept the drink.

“Don’t worry about those idiots. It’s not like it’s that bigdeal,” Valerie said casually.

Alan with a puzzled look asked, “Are you saying you’vetasted the pink before?”

Valerie choked on her drink and said through her coughing, “What?No, no. Everyone is so eager to say how quickly they did something without asecond thought. Who cares really?”

Alan took a sip from his cider and puckered his lips fromthe sour aftertaste. Alan tried to give a comforting smile as he said, “Yeah, Iguess you’re right.”

“I mean the two of us could do it and it wouldn’t evenmatter,” Valerie said and laughed to herself.

Alan gulped and said with wide eyes, “Do what?”

Valerie tilted her head at Alan and with a confused looksaid, “What’s going on in that head of yours, Al?”

Alan diverted his eyes quickly and said, “Nothing.” Which atthe time was true because his mind went blank when he heard Valerie talkingabout what the two of them could do.

“Uh huh,” Valerie said and drank some more of her drink, “Youknow maybe we should.”

“A-are you serious,” Alan said taken aback.

“Yeah, why not. I mean let’s just get it over with and thenwe can move on with our lives,” Valerie said.

“W-what did you have in mind,” Alan asked with his heartracing.

Valerie shrugged and said, “I don’t know, let’s just findsome place private and we’ll see how it feels.”

Alan mumbled, “Sounds good.”

Alan wasn’t sure what was going to happen next, but he wasn’tgoing to question it. Alan followed Valerie up the stairs and they ended up inAlan’s room, a room that was so familiar to both of them now felt like adifferent world. Valerie sat down on Alan’s bed and signaled for Alan to sit nextto her. Alan finished his cider and sat next to his best friend.

Alan’s eyes looked around quickly and he asked, “So I guesswe’re going through with this?”

Valerie nodded and said, “Yeah, I guess we are.”

Alan closed in, but before something could happen, Valeriesaid, “Wait. Before we do anything, remember this doesn’t mean anything.”

Alan nodded his head and said, “Yeah, of course. You’re mybest friend, I don’t want that to change.”

Valerie laughed and said, “Good. Now we’re only going to dothis once.”

Alan nodded and the two leaned closer to each other. It didn’ttake them long for their lips to touch, but for Alan it felt like an eternity.It was quick, awkward, and there was no tongue, but Alan’s mind raced trying toremember everything he was feeling, but before he could do process anything, heheard Valerie ask, “So how was it?”

Alan tried to act casual, “That was good.”

“Do you want to do it again,” Valerie asked.

Alan paused and said, “Yes.”

The two kissed once more, but Alan’s mind went blank when hetasted something sweet from the mix of Valerie’s tongue and saliva. It took amoment for Alan to respond back as both their tongues explored unfamiliarplaces. Without even thinking the two had wrapped their hands each other andwhat was supposed to be something quick and painless had now turned intosomething that was becoming a defining moment of their relationship.

It was something that lasted forever, but was gone in aninstant as the two broke off from each other. After that the two hung aroundeach other for the rest of the night, but not too much words were exchanged.Eventually Valerie got picked up and when the two said goodbye was somethingawkward as the two froze when both of them leaned in for a hug. The two of themcaught themselves about to kiss and both pulled away, eventually the two ofthem hugged and said their goodbyes. Alan watched as Valerie left and stood athis driveway for several minutes afterwards.

Alan sat outside and tried to get his mind off tonight, butthe more he fought it, the more his mind was ensnared by the thought of Valerie.Alan walked back to his house and hoped this would all settle itself in a dayor two, unfortunately for him it wouldn’t be that simple.

#krog #speed writing #newdaynewword #what the color pink tastes like

Social anxiety

[Time Spent: 30 mins]

Kim paced around the room. He stopped and scratched his headbefore he stared at his phone that had been flashing the name of his friend,Wade for the past five minutes. Kim typed the message, “Hey is it cool if wedon’t go out tonight?”

Kim was about to press send, but he hesitated and sighed.

“What’s wrong? You know you don’t feel like going out. Lasttime you went out, you felt uncomfortable the whole time and when Wade left youto talk to his other friends, you were all by yourself,” someone said from theshadows.

Kim rolled his eyes and ran his hand down his face. Kimcould feel a pit in his stomach and he quickly deleted his message. He thenwrote a new text, “I’m not feeling so well, I don’t think I can go out tonight.”

Again Kim held his finger over the send button, but stoppedhimself. The shadowy figure got closer and whispered, “Why are you lying? Justbe honest and tell him.”

Kim’s hand hovered closer to the send button, but he stoppedwhen the shadow said, “Be honest because Wade has been honest about how much he’sbeen looking forward to this. You know he’s been planning this for weeks now.He keeps talking about how you two don’t hang out anymore and he wants you tomeet his other friends.”

Kim threw his phone onto the couch and walked over tokitchen. He pulled out a beer from the kitchen and as he popped off the lid,the shadow said, “Solving your problems always worked out in the past. I’m surethis time will be no different.”

Kim took a swig from his beer and the shadow started to fadeaway. The shadow spoke, but the voice was now muffled, “You clearly have thingsunder control.”

Kim chugged the rest of his beer and readied another beer,as he did this the shadow figure slid away out of sight. Kim gave a small smileand walked back to the living room with his second beer. Kim took a sip fromhis beer and turned his phone back on. Kim deleted his last message and wrote, “HeyI don’t really feel like going out. Can we do something else?”

Kim bit his lip and tapped the back of his phone. Kim puthis phone down and walked around the room. Kim finished his beer and stared athis phone once more. He shook his head and went back into the kitchen for onemore beer. When Kim returned to the living room, the shadow had returned aswell. Kim rolled his eyes as he drank from his new beer.

The shadow spoke with a warped voice, “You could have saidhow you felt sooner, but now it’s too late. You know how much Wade hates peoplebail on him. He’s been complaining about it to you since college. Hell he evenssays you’re one of the few people he knows he can rely on. Are you really goingto betray that trust just because you feel self-conscious? Are you thatself-centered?”

Kim glared at the shadow and snatched his phone. Kim took adeep breath and turned his phone on to see the unsent message. Kim’s breathingquickened and his heart raced, he tried to calm himself with another sip fromhis beer, but that only made things worse as he ended up coughing up thealcohol.

“Look at yourself, you’re a mess. This is what happened thelast time you were out with Wade. You apologized and Wade says everything wasfine, but you know he was just trying to make you feel better,” the shadowboomed.

Kim scrambled to get some towels for the mess he had made andcleaned himself up in the bathroom. He looked himself in the bathroom with theshadow still next to him. Kim slapped his cheeks and said, “Come on, you can dothis.”

Kim walked out to the living room with new determination inhis stride. Kim turned his phone on, once more and his finger went straight tosend, but before he could press send, Kim heard his text message sound alongwith the vibration. He looked at the new text he had received from Wade thatread, “Sorry, but I can’t go out tonight. I know we’ve been planning thisforever, but work came up. Hope you understand.”

Kim let out a sigh of relief and crashed into the couch. Kimwas quick to send a reply, “That’s okay, we’ll definitely reschedule.”

The feeling of relief was quickly drained, when he realizedwhat he had said.

“So what are you going to do when this happens again,” theshadowy figure said.

Kim groaned and put a pillow over his head. Kim grabbed hisphone and pulled up Youtube to try to get his mind off things. The shadow stillremained as it always did, but it slid off to the corner, where Kim onlynoticed it if he was looking for it. Kim knew it was there waiting, but he didn’tknow of any way to get rid of it.

#krog #speed writing #newdaynewword #social anxiety

Teen pregnancy

[Time Spent: 30 mins]

“Liz could you come downstairs,” Elizabeth’s mom called fromthe bottom of the stairs.

Elizabeth continued to stare at her laptop and shouted, “Yeah,sure mom!”

Elizabeth stopped the video she was watching and walked downthe stairs. She wondered what she was being called for, dinner wasn’t going tohappen for a few hours and if anyone was going to be in trouble it was going tobe her brother, Joey for his grades. She figured it would probably be somethinglike her mom couldn’t decide to wear for one of her parties and needed heradvice. Elizabeth wasn’t thrown off when she saw her mother was sitting with awoman, who was nicely dressed and had an unnerving smile.

“Uh, what’s going on,” Elizabeth said, not moving anycloser.

Elizabeth mom’s stood up and led her daughter to a chair, “Lizyou should probably sit down for this.”

“Okay…,” Elizabeth said as she hesitantly sat down.

Elizabeth’s mom sat back down and gestured to the unknownwoman as she said, “Liz this is Miss Carter.”

“Hello,” Elizabeth said.

“Hello, Elizabeth. Is it okay if I call you Liz,” MissCarter asked.

“I-I guess so,” Elizabeth answered.

“Wonderful. Now I’m sure you’re wondering who I am and whatI’m doing here,” Miss Carter said and pulled out a folder with a large amountof paper documents inside, “I’m here because we think we found your mother.Your biological mother.”

Elizabeth said nothing and just nodded her head. She thenstood up and said, “Okay cool.” Elizabeth then started to walk away.

“Wait Liz, I know you don’t know anything about your mother,but you should at least hear Miss Carter out,” Elizabeth’s mom pleaded.

“What are you talking about? You’re my mom. There’s no oneelse, especially not someone who would abandon me,” Elizabeth said withouttrying to hide her disdain.

“Please listen to Miss Carter. For me,” Elizabeth’s momasked.

Elizabeth sighed and sat back down, but crossed both herarms and legs.

“Thank you, Liz,” Miss Carter said and began to pull outdocuments as she spoke, “Now normally it’s not uncommon for a child to be putup for adoption and that is the end of it. However someone who claims to beyour mother said she was looking for her daughter and… we’re still not doneverifying the tests, but it appears that she is in fact her mother.”

Elizabeth grabbed one of the pictures, which was of a womanshe had never seen, but she had a sense of déjà vu. It was undeniable thatElizabeth and the woman looked similar. Elizabeth could feel her heartpounding, but she wasn’t sure why.

Elizabeth put the photo down and gulped before she said, “Sowhat do you want me to do? Meet her and say, ‘Oh it’s great to see you mom. Ihope you’ve had a great fourteen years since you last saw me. You should haveseen me when I felt so alone. It would have been great if you were there.”

There was an uncomfortable silence, before Miss Carteranswered, “Well… that is up to you Liz. While the data seems to indicate she isyour mother, it is up to you to decide whether you would like to meet her. Itis clear how you currently feel, but we encourage you take some time to thinkabout it.”

Elizabeth took a deep breath and looked around the room. Shethen nodded her head with closed eyes, when she opened them she said, “Okay. Inever want to see her.”

“Please give it some more thought,” Elizabeth’s mom pleadedonce more.

“Mom, why do you care so much if I meet her,” Elizabeth saidin disbelief.

“I know she had to give you up, but if it was me I would trymy best to find you. Miss Carter said she had you when she was a teenager andwanted to keep you, but she knew that you she couldn’t take care of you. I’mthankful that you’re in our lives, but I’m worried you still have things youneed to work out. I know you don’t see her as your mom, but she sees you as herdaughter and I think it would be good to see each other at least once. I don’twant to force you to do anything you don’t want to, I just want you to behappy,” Elizabeth’s mom said through tears.

Elizabeth rolled her eyes and sighed. Elizabeth said, “Okayfine, I’ll think about it a bit more.”

Elizabeth’s mom smiled as she wiped the tears away and said,“Thank you Liz.”

“Yeah, just know I’m doing this for you and not her,”Elizabeth clarified.

Miss Carter stood up and said, “Very well. I will return ina couple of days to hear your response.”

Miss Carter was about to leave, before Elizabeth called out,“What about all this stuff you brought?”

“Those are for you. We have our own copies and made sure notto bring any information that could be misused. Have a good night,” Miss Cartersaid and left.

Elizabeth’s mom gave her daughter a hug and said, “Take yourtime. I’ll call you when dinner is ready.”

Elizabeth sighed and said, “Thanks mom.”

Elizabeth grabbed the folder and the documents and went backto her room. She tried to go back to her video, but her mind was not focused onthe whole situation. She skimmed through the written documents, but her braincouldn’t focus for long enough, instead she stared at the photos of a woman shehad never met. Every time she looked at one of the photos she could feel herheart race and before she had any idea, her mother called her to come down fordinner.

#krog #speed writing #teen pregnancy #newdaynewword

Smoking weed

[Time Spent: 30 mins]

Ian and Justin were walking back to their house with widegrins and excitedly rubbing their hands together. They didn’t say a word, butkept eyeing each other with the occasional nod or teasing shove. When they gotclose to their house, they couldn’t contain their excitement.

“We’ve finally found the big one,” Ian said.

“I know, I can’t believe he said he’d buy that much of ourstuff. After this we can finally quit our jobs and just do this for a living,”Justin replied.

Ian stopped Justin and started to look around. Justin didn’tnotice anything, but he noticed Ian sniffing. Justin took the time to actuallysmell what was in the air and it was in fact weed. The two had a laugh andcontinued walking.

“Looks like we’re not the only ones having a good time,” Iansaid.

“Hey it’s the time to celebrate, 4/20 is coming up,” Justinsaid.

“Well if they’re smoking this much, we should see if they’reinterested in being one of our customers,” Ian said.

“Hah, that’d be perfect, but it’s not like we can actuallytell where it’s coming from, it’s not like it’s…,” Justin stopped himself asthe smell got stronger and they were getting closer to their house.

“No… no, he couldn’t have,” Ian said as he looked at Justin.

The two stared at each other with wide eyes and ran intotheir house. Normally these two were relaxed and go with the flow, but this wasthe first time the two had “blown up.” When the two entered their house, theywere hit with a haze of weed smoke. They looked around and saw the house wasfilled with the usual potheads, but even people they had never seen before.

Immediately Justin and Ian screamed in unison, “Ed!”

As if ready to make an entrance, a door opened letting outeven more weed smoke, a man emerged who looked like he had been born high andnever came down. The man walked over to Ian and Justin and gave them both ahead tilt. The man held his fist out, expecting a fist bump, but the two werenot having it.

Justin glared as he said, “Ed, what the hell is this?”

Ed said with a smile, “Dude, you said I could have some weedand to get ready to celebrate.”

Ian said, “Yeah, we said you could have some, not enough tomake a Kumbaya circle with all your pothead friends.”

“Don’t worry… I only used some of it,” Ed said and pattedboth of them on the shoulder.

Ian and Justin rolled their eyes, they laid Ed on one of thecouches and walked deeper into the house. When they arrived at theirdestination, the door was left slightly open. Justin put his hand on thedoorknob and looked at Ian. The two took a deep breath and opened the door.

“Fuck,” Ian exclaimed.

“This can’t be happening,” Justin said as he started topace.

The room that they had stashed all their weed was now indisrepair and they only had an eighth of the weed they started with this day.The two had promised their customer almost all the weed they had from thismorning.

“What are we gonna do,” Justin asked.

“Nothing. We’re done, there’s nothing to do,” Ian said as heslumped over.

“Isn’t there anyone we can ask to help us out,” Justinasked.

“No way. This short of notice, they’re bound to get all theprofits if they help us,” Ian said.

“Well it’s better than not giving him what he wants. If wegive what he wants, then I’m sure he’ll come back,” Justin said trying to staypositive.

“Yeah and whoever we bring along will also know about himand we’ll barely get anything. It’s better if we just say we can’t deliver andhope we can bring him back when we get more,” Ian said defeated.

“No, no, no. Okay how about this? Do we know any people whoowe us favors or would give us a discount,” Justin said as he paced even more.

“I mean yeah, but I think people will get suspicious if we’retrying to get this much weed,” Ian said with a shrug.

“Yes, but not if we remind them we have this idiot of aroommate,” Justin said and stopped his pacing, “Plus I’m sure he must have agood relation with some of the dealers around here if he smokes that much.”

Justin said nodding his head, “Yeah… yeah, I think you mightbe onto something. But we don’t have much time. For being a pothead that guydoesn’t have any patience. I doubt he’s going to give us more than a day to geteverything.”

Ian said with his hand held out to Justin, “Well we betterget started.”

“Yeah,” Justin said and pulled himself up with Ian’s help.

The two briskly walked out back into the room and lifted Edfrom the couch. Ed was conscious, but in a daze and asked, “What’s up?”

“You’re coming with us, Ed and you’re going to help us fixthis situation,” Ian said.

“Oh. What do you need me to do,” Ed asked.

“We need to meet your friends. And no not these friends. Theones who sell you weed,” Justin answered.

“Oh okay. When are we doing it,” Ed asked.

“Right now,” Ian said and they carried Ed out of the house.

Before they closed the door to the house, Justin shouted, “Youall suck! Get out of our house!”

#krog #speed writing #newdaynewword #smoking weed

Panda

[Time Spent: 31 mins]

Jonathan and Emily were relaxing on the couch after sharinga meal. Emily began to rest herself on Jonathan, she poked his stomach and said,“I see you’re saving food for the winter.”

“Yeah, only cause you’ve been fattening me up with all yourmeals,” Jonathan said jovially.

“Fine, see if I ever cook for you again,” Emily said with apout.

Jonathan said, “I’m fine with it as long as you are,” andpulled Emily closer.

Emily looked up to Jonathan and said, “Of course, I’m finewith it! It’s like you’re my giant panda bear.”

Jonathan winced and said nothing as he looked away. Emilynoticed and straightened herself up, “What’s wrong?”

Jonathan took a moment as he looked around the room, hishead swayed from side to side before he said, “Would you mind… not calling me apanda?”

Emily’s head tilted and she asked, “Why? What’s wrong withPandas? They’re sweet, lovable, and I love them.”

“It’s… you didn’t know me when I was younger, but I was… thefat kid. And some of the kids started to call me a panda, I thought it wasbecause they were accepting me and giving me a nickname. It turns out it was aninsult since they thought of me as a fat, lazy kid. I know it doesn’t seem likemuch, especially since I’m in shape now, but I feel like part of me is that fatkid and still has some body issues…”

Emily gave Jonathan a hug and said, “I’m sorry, I didn’tmean to insult you.”

Jonathan hugged Emily back and said, “I know. It’s justsomething that gets in my head sometimes.”

Emily pulled away and said, “I’ll never call you… thatagain.”

Jonathan smiled and said, “Thanks, I appreciate it.”

The two laid on the couch in silence before Emily took themoment to poke Jonathan. Jonathan tried to not react, but he jerked a little.Emily continued to poke Jonathan and when he couldn’t handle it anymore,Jonathan retaliated by tickling Emily. The two of them spent of the rest of thenight messing with each other, until all their energy was spent and they had tocall it a night.

—

For a while things seemed fine between the two of them, thetwo of them were enjoying each other’s company, but slowly over time Jonathanbecame more busy and less willing to go out. Emily’s concern grew, until herconcern became suspicion, she needed to know what was going on.

One day when Jonathan was about to head out, but before hecould out the door, Emily asked, “Where are you going?”

Jonathan closed the door and said energetically, “Oh youknow, just felt like I needed to get out some fresh air.”

Emily’s heart raced and she said, “Didn’t you go out forsome air a few hours ago?”

Jonathan kept his gaze away from Emily and said, “Yeah, butit’s such a nice day and-“

“Then let me come with you,” Emily interrupted, “since… wehaven’t spent much time together recently.”

“O-okay,” Jonathan said.

“Great, I’ll get my things,” Emily said and left the room.

Jonathan sighed and before he fell over, Jonathan proppedhimself against the wall. Jonathan felt like he was about to pass out, but heresisted the urge to. Jonathan took deep breaths as he had his eyes closed.Jonathan steadied his breathing and stood upright as Emily entered back intothe room. Jonathan gave a quick smile to Emily and said, “Great, let’s go.”

—

The couple went on their walk, Emily was still uneasy, butshe was happy to finally spend some time with Jonathan, while Jonathan couldn’thear a word she was saying as he was too busy focused on staying conscious.Jonathan was fighting energy depravation and starvation, but refused toacknowledge it to Emily or himself. Eventually the two ended up at a nearbypark, where the two sat down at a bench based on Jonathan’s suggestion.

“I’m glad we’re finally spending time together,” Emily saidas she held onto Jonathan’s hand.

“Me… too,” Jonathan said weakly with a smile that matched.

“Are you okay, honey,” Emily asked.

“Yeah… I’m just fine,” Jonathan said in a hush voice, “I’mjust going to take a quick nap. Tell me when you want to go home.”

“Okay,” Emily said worried.

It wasn’t long after that instead of going home, the twowould make a trip to the ER as Jonathan’s body finally gave out and he passedout in front of Emily. While Emily’s fear didn’t come to reality, a new fearmanifested in Emily’s heart.

#krog #speed writing #panda #newdaynewword

Title

[Time Spent: 31 mins]

Titles have always been a weird subject for me as a writer and not just titles, but names in general. In class you’re taught about how a name has hidden meaning, but that’s not how real life works. Your parents aren’t giving you the initials JC in hopes that you’ll do something Christ like. In reality they probably just picked that name because they think it’s nice or they knew someone with that name. I get stories are supposed to have meaning and subtext, but it just gets infuriating when it feels like everything has meaning. I mean I’ve asked my parents multiple times where I got my name from and I still don’t have an answer because neither them seems to remember or tells a different version. I think it’s more interesting to reflect on that aspect of a name instead of using it as some arbitrary symbol or foreshadowing.

The reason why I don’t care for a name to have some deeper symbolism is because it’s not honest to the character. Unless you come from a specific culture and you’re beholden to your name, you’re not going to aspire to what your name means in a certain language. In fact some people might try to live their life in a way that avoids making any connections to where your name come from because you dread the thought of your name becoming a running joke. Or simply you never really considered what your name means and lived your life. I just don’t like how in “deep” literature you can be defined by your name before you even have a chance to have any defining actions. I much prefer you get to see a character earn a name instead of proving that the name they started with fits them.

Another reason why I don’t like the naming convention of characters is because it also goes under the assumption that practically all parents in literature have some bizarre form of fortune telling and know what name best represents their future role in life. I know that’s a bit extreme, but how often does a character need to have the initials JC or be named Shepard to represent Christ. It’s just silly when it feels like a parent seems to name their child to a fate they have no say in, which admittedly is what parents do sometimes… Moving on. If anything I like to approach it where the child learns where there name comes from and having a chance to have a genuine reaction to it. Sure, you can do that even with a symbolic name, but it’s a lot more real when you find out you’re named something because your parents couldn’t think of something so they thought of a close friend or they really like the sound of a certain name. Is that the most interesting story? No, but how the character chooses to react can be.

One of my characters is named Madeline and her parents have different reasons for naming her that. Madeline always knew that her mother liked the name because she used to read the Madeline books and had a huge attachment to them, but she got the suggestion for the name from her father. The real reason why the name got suggested wasn’t because the father was thinking about the character, but he was thinking about the Madeline pastry, when suggesting names. It’s later on in life when Madeline where she makes the connection and has a moment of self-crisis when she realizes that her name comes from a food. That’s the kind of thing that’s interesting to me, not when a character is named “the chosen one” because there’s nowhere for the character to go, except to do what the prophecy has foretold. We’ve seen that story throughout the ages and I’m getting sick of it.

Names have always been interesting to me, but they’ve also been one of the most difficult thing for me to come up with for a character. I want to have a name that sounds catchy or memorable, but at the same time I don’t want to fall into the trap of a character that has a name that’s too on the nose or stands out so much form everyone else in the story. Sure I can just give a character a random name, but that just feels as bad. I’ve learned that even though we don’t get to choose our name, we somehow start to fit into our name at least to some degree. Talking with some friends we talked about my name and they agreed my name works for me, but that I’m definitely not an Eric or Derrick, but couldn’t quite explain why even though it’s only a letter or two different from my actual name. I don’t want to name my character just to be Johnny Strongman, but I also don’t want my character to feel out of place with their own name, unless it’s intentional of course.

Most of the time we can’t pick our name, even a nickname can only be given to you. The only exception I can think of is a username, but the way things are developing most of the time it’s usually either a phrase we like, an alteration of our real name, or just something we’ve pulled out of our ass. We live in a society where we know not to read anything to someone’s username and that they could be anyone behind that name. Which is just another reason why I feel like people need to stop reading so much into a name. A name could possibly give you an insight into someone, but that’s just a guess or an assumption. For example I know someone named Jake. Who do you think of when I say that name? Would you say a girl? Because I know a girl named Jake and when I asked her about it, she just said that’s what her parents decided to name her. That moment wasn’t even that interesting, but to me there’s something unique and special about it.

People put too much value into titles and names, myself included. And I know that names, titles, and even labels help make things easier for people to understand. I just wish that names in literature didn’t have to mean so much, even before we get a chance to see the character. Just a wait a little before you let the defining thing about a character be their name. I want to write characters that do defining actions, so that when you hear that name you can only think of that character and no one else. The name’s meaning comes from them and not how the character’s actions were determined by their name.

#krog #speed writing #title #newdaynewword

On Borrowed Time

[Time Spent: 30 mins]

From a young age, Samuel’s parents had high expectations of him. Samuel was the fifth child and last child his parents decided to have and all of his siblings were already showing promise, if not already making names for themselves. Samuel was quite gifted, but it was hard for him to stand out, when his siblings had a head start on him. No matter what Samuel tried it seemed to not impress his parents because his siblings had already done it before. Samuel was boxed in, his siblings had already taken all the glory in any field that he could put his sights on. He grew frustrated because he knew he was good enough, but his parents refused to see it.

One day he was approached about a new program, the Darwin Academy and he saw this as his chance to stand out from his family. No one else had done this before, there was no way they could take this away from him. Samuel took the offer without a second to think about what he had gotten himself into, all he could think about was that this would finally show his parents and his siblings. Samuel felt confident in his ability, as long as his siblings weren’t around, he would be able to rise to the top. However Samuel’s excitement quickly disappeared when he saw the new obstacles that stood before him.

Samuel learned during the orientation that again, he was behind people who had been “gifted” before they got to the academy. Samuel swallowed the bitter pill that this was bound to happen, but what got to him was when he saw people he deemed unworthy to be ranked better than him, only because they had that “gift.” The one person that stood out to him and that he despised was a boy his age, named Bruce. At every opportunity, Samuel would try to find a way to undermine Bruce and show his superiority. Even with all his attempts that made it clear that Bruce was outmatched, he was still ranked above Samuel. This infuriated Samuel to no end, if it weren’t for that damn “gift” he would be walking over Bruce. Samuel’s emotions got to the best of him, when Bruce tried to offer help to Samuel.

Samuel was overcome with a blind rage as he saw that Bruce was now pitying him. Nothing else mattered anymore, just to make sure that Bruce was put in his place and it was in that moment that Samuel got his “gift.” He no longer remembered why he came to this academy, but his mind was now clear and he remembered everything with 100% accuracy starting from this moment. His body burned, but in a way that Samuel took pleasure in as he could feel his body’s potential being brought to its fullest potential. His mind and body were finally fulfilling his wishes, they were willing to give everything up for this one wish.

Samuel was ready to murder Bruce, but Bruce’s friends intervened and even they were only inconveniences. The real reason that Samuel was brought down was because security had sedated him before he could do any permanent damage. It would have been fine if Samuel had down this to any normal child, but the rules had expressly forbidden the “gifted” from harming one another. At least for now.

When Samuel had awoken he was in the medical bay of the school and his body was held down by various restraints. Samuel tried to break free, but even with his new strength, he was unable to destroy the restraints. Samuel demanded to be released and let him finish what he was doing to Bruce, but the scientists and doctors ignored his demands. Instead the doctors had injected him with drugs to weaken him and the director of the program came in.

The director explained what was going to happen and that her rules were final. Having the occasional bout with Bruce was fine, but damaging him was expressly forbidden. Samuel tried to resist, but his thoughts and body were sluggish, all he could do was listen. The director promised that she would give Samuel his chance, but only if he was obedient to her orders, if he were to choose otherwise then he would face consequences that only the twisted could conceive of. It was then in that moment when the director stared into Samuel that he felt a fear he had not felt in years, the fear that his parents had instilled in him of being a disappointment. Even in his drugged state, Samuel nodded his head in obedience. Samuel wanted to oppose her, but in his heart he knew that he was nothing to the director.

The director left after that and the scientists began to disclose what Samuel’s gift was; Samuel’s body would forever be in peak physical strength, even increased regenerative abilities, and he was now gifted with photographic memory, but at the cost of a shorter lifespan. It was explained that everyone was like a burning candle, but Samuel was candle that burned brighter because it was burning from both ends. There were theories of how long he had to live, but the general agreement was that when all of Samuel’s hair turns to white would be when he would expire.

Samuel understood the explanation and was unusually calm about the situation. Samuel returned to the academy and went into the bathroom with an electric razor. Without any second guessing he began to shave his head clean. Samuel accepted his fate and only focused on that it meant that he was without a doubt, superior than Bruce and now he they were on even grounds. Both of them were considered “gifted” and now Samuel could put Bruce in his place. Samuel’s only goal was to make the best use of his time, there was no point in worrying about how much time was left.

Samuel didn’t dare oppose the director, but he wanted to make a statement to Bruce and anyone else who thought they were better than him. Samuel would just have to bide his time and find the right moment to make his strike.

#krog #speed writing #on borrowed time #newdaynewword

Gossip

[Time Spent: 30 mins]

I live in a world where everyone does the same song and dance and if you can’t keep up, it’s better if you keep yourself hidden. My friends and I happen to be those kind of people, where bringing attention to yourself can only lead to bad things. Everyone I know is expected to be able to sing and dance, but it’d be an understatement to say I have two left feet and a little tone deaf. To say my parents were disappointed is putting it lightly, considering they decided to name me Aria. My friends are just as bad as I am, if not worse and that’s what brought us all together. No one else was going to talk to us, so we had to stick together even if we got on each other’s nerves.

I usually do my best to get ready and out of the house as quick as possible because if my mom catches me, she does her best to remind me everything she’s done for me and that I’m a disappointment to the family. Then I meet up with my friend, Sonata, we’re… uh trying to figure out what we are… Today, I was expecting to have our usual walk and vent about our problems, but then she goes in and leans in to give me a kiss.

I push her off as nicely as I could and as I’m looking around, I say in a hush tone, “Sonata, you know we can’t do this out in the open.”

Sonata rolls her eyes and I can tell she’s about to give me an earful. She sighs and says, “Ria, everyone already shuns us for not being able to do what they do, so what difference does it make?”

Sonata grabs my hand, but I pull away and start to walk to school. Sonata follows after me and I say, “Yeah, it’s exactly that reason that we shouldn’t bring more attention to ourselves.”

“So you haven’t told your mom that you’re bi,” Sonata asks.

I look away from Sonata, but she starts to prod my stomach. I swat at her, before shouting, “stop that! You know I’m sensitive. And I’ll have you know I did say that to my mom.”

Ah, damn it. Sonata has her unamused look on her face. She says, “Uh huh, so what exactly did you say to her.”

I gulp and say, “Well… as I was leaving I said, ‘I’m bi, mom’ and she replied, ‘what did you say’ and then I answered, ‘I’m going, bye mom.”

I stumble as Sonata pushes me and I shout, “Hey don’t push me!”

“Well then stop letting everyone else push you around! I like you Aria, but I’m getting tired of seeing you letting everyone walk all over you. Your family does it, our teachers do it, and especially that asshole singer-“

“Hey, Mike isn’t that bad. I mean yeah, he can be a prima donna, but at least he acknowledges I’m good at something.”

“I’m standing right here! I’ve always had your back and known how much you’ve tried. You didn’t need that asshole Mike. I know you want to keep playing, but at least find someone we’ll treat you with some respect…”

“You’re saying that like it’s that easy. You of all people should know how most people treat us and the only people who treat us like their equals are the others who are in the same position as us. At least right now, I’m part of a band. Can’t you least be happy for me.”

“I can’t be happy for you, when you’re so miserable,” Sonata shouts and storms off.

I want to go after her, but we always have these arguments. We always patch it up, but maybe this time it’s better if I just let her walk away. Ugh, I wish I could just get out of this place and find somewhere I could just play my guitar in peace. Maybe, even bring Sonata along, but where am I going to find that kind of place?

Ah crap, I got to hurry up, the first bell is going to ring soon and I don’t want to be late. I’d rather not have to go through all of this, but it’s better than being late and having afterschool song and dance sessions. I manage to get there with no time to spare and the morning singing begins… I don’t actually try to sing and just mouth the lyrics, I hear that some famous people do this. That’s just a rumor though, there’s no way that could be true. No one seems to take notice, partly because they’re too busy singing up their own asses, but also because I have a bit of a reputation… So they’d rather now have me try to sing at all. Thanks.

*Sigh* Well at least first period should go quickly. It’s math, so normally no one is singing or dancing, but there’s a few overachievers in my class… I sit down and I notice that people are looking at me. I look around and I know why they’re staring, it’s cause Sonata’s not in class. Fuck. People always see us together, but I never thought people would notice that much. I want to say something, but what’s the point? They’re going to make their own assumptions anyways.

*Sigh* Okay, maybe Sonata has a point. I’ve got to find her and talk. I wonder where she could be… Sonata’s never missed class before. She should be fine, but I can’t help feel uneasy.

#krog #speed writing #gossip #newdaynewword

Rebel

[Time Spent: 30 mins]

Juliet was someone who didn’t take well to listening to authority. There weren’t many things that she respected, except for someone who was strong and her elders. Her definition of what makes someone strong was very loose, she recognized someone strong in a fight, but also if she was moved by someone’s backstory she would say they were strong. Really strong just meant someone Juliet liked, but there’s someone that Juliet likes that she won’t call strong. That person is a boy named Marcos, who also refuses to acknowledge her strengths.

Juliet and Marcos make an odd… pairing as they’re perfect for each other, but refuse to acknowledge that they need the other person. You see the other one is the only they’ve got, after they decided to abandon the kingdom they once called home and find out things they probably shouldn’t. The reason why they decided to leave is a story for another time, instead let’s focus on the time when they first met.

Juliet had heard the royal family was looking for new young blood that was strong enough to protect the family. Juliet didn’t care for the family or the chance to be their personal guards, but what she did hear was that she would might find someone strong to keep her entertained. What happened at the auditions was more a mess than anything else. Before all the ground rules could be explained, Juliet charged the objective, Marcos. In this exercise was an attempt to narrow down the applicants by finding out who was an equal or better of Marcos. What point would there be to a bodyguard if he was weaker than the person he was defending? Juliet helped narrow down the applicants by knocking out most of them in her attempt to get to Marcos.

Without knowing what Juliet is really capable of, just from a glance it’s clear that she is someone who is in peak physical strength. It’s actually more appropriate to call her an Amazonian as she towered over everyone at the auditions with her 6’6” build. Some fear her appearance, while others love it, and Juliet cares little for appearances with her as she normally just wears a tank top and shorts. The other thing that stands about her is dark tanned skin. Her family has always had dark skin as most of her family has done manual labor for work, but Juliet is one of the darkest people in her family.

Now the really fearsome thing about Juliet is her ability to create ice. Well it is technically ice, but it’s more accurate to call it rock. You see Juliet is able to generate ice, but it’s not cold to the touch and doesn’t shatter easily. While the ice could various applications, Juliet likes to keep it simple and use it as an armor to encase her entire body. A normal person would probably break from the weight of all the ice, but Juliet is the exception thanks to her family’s genetics.

Juliet was excited to find someone she could go all out on, but she was disappointed when all the other applicants were pushovers and she was about to crush this little boy. She would have crushed this little boy, if he were just any other kid. Marcos wasn’t actually a child, in fact he was Juliet’s age, but where Juliet was blessed with her family’s genetics, Marcos was left with the scraps as he was the shortest person in his family that has ever been recorded. Marcos was aware of his limitations and instead focused on taking advantage of this situation by focusing on his agility and cunning. Juliet wasn’t the only who was able to create ice and Marcos was able to create what people would generally think of ice: cold and slippery. The only thing was that where Juliet was able to create ice as much as she wanted, Marcos had to be more careful as he could easily exhaust himself if he wasn’t careful.

So the two of them had a game of cat and mouse with Juliet charged at Marcos without any hesitation and Marcos avoiding her every blatant attempt. Both sides grew tired of this stalemate and so Marcos declared he would end this. Juliet stood there as she gleefully accepted his challenge. Marcos couldn’t rely on brute strength to win, instead he created a thin blade of ice and built up as much momentum he could gliding on ice he created beneath his feet. Now Marcos could have tried to go around and find the weak point of Juliet’s armor, but for once his pride got the best of him and wanted to prove he was that much better.

As Marcos grew closer, Juliet created a wall of ice and shouted for Marcos to not disappoint her. Marcos said nothing as he carved his way through the barrier. When the two got close, both were ready to deal the finish blow, with Marcos aiming the blade at Juliet’s throat and Juliet swinging with an oversized fist of ice. However before there could be a decisive victor, the actual guard arrived. Apparently this event had been held by Marcos without his family’s approval. Before Marcos could receive his punishment, he ran away and Juliet chased after demanding a rematch, thus beginning the trend of Marcos and Juliet running away from Marcos’ family’s hired underlings.

#krog #speed writing #rebel #newdaynewword

Father

[Time Spent: 31 mins]

My father taught me a lot… the most important thing he taught me was to never be like him. He would constantly spout nonsense like how there’s good in people’s hearts and that you should treat them like you would be treated. You want to know what that got him? It left him without a single cent for our family and now he walks with a limp. He wanted to help someone in trouble, turns out he was just a fool looking to get taken advantage of. I wasn’t there to see it, but I can already imagine how it went down. There was a guy who happened to be stranded on the road and my father wanted to give some help. So my father followed the man and the man took a helping of everything my father had, including the medicine we needed to keep mom alive. You see my mom was never in that great of a condition and surprise, surprise, my father helped take care of her and they feel in love. Eventually I was born, a symbol of their love and how people can endure. But everyone can only endure so much, that goes for my mother and it definitely goes for me.

I’ve decided to enroll in this new program the government is calling the Darwin Academy. I have no idea what it’s about, but they promise to give me food, even money, and a place to stay and that’s good enough for me, as long as I can get away from that mess I call a father. Even after the incident, he still has that dumb smile on his face. It’s not right to call it the same dumb smile, it’s a new kind filled with hesitation. Before he would smile at the sight of another person, but I see the little things that have changed: how he flinches, that he averts his gaze, that he’s more closed off. If only he could have learned this lesson without having to lose mom. Whatever. I just need to get out of this place and forget about ever being related to him. Thanks for the life lessons, dad.

On the bus, I can hear the other kids talking, trying to make friends. Well I guess you need someone to have your back, just make sure you make the right pick or else they’ll be the one to stab you in the back. Another life lesson by my father. We were doing fine, until he decided to trust someone to become his business partner and turns out they ran with everything they could. We had enough to get by, but what was the worst, was just my father would try to justify how things will work out in the end. He would keep repeating it and now I’m starting to think it wasn’t for me or mom, but for himself because he was always in denial. So dad, I’ll be sure to let people in, as long as I can see what they’re trying to do.

As I go through the orientation, I start to realize that this whole thing was too nice to be true. Figures. This was supposed to be some kind of boarding school, but there’s men with guns and weapons, which would be fine if they were guarding the outside, but I can tell they have their guns on us. They’re not going to kill us that would just be plain stupid. There’s no way they’re planning to kill us all, but they seem to be ready just in case… one of us gets out of hand. The orientation goes on and they reveal what this whole thing is really about, apparently we’ve been “chosen” to be the next step. The next step of what? I don’t really know, but they say that not all of us will be the “true chosen” and those will be “Darwin’s Chosen” or was it “Darwin’s Children?” I don’t really remember. All I know is that I have to be one of them to stay in this place.

They start showing us clips on what they want from us. Apparently we need our eyes or hair to change. One of the other kids asks why and the instructor dodges the question. Of course. This whole thing has been fishy from the start, even before I got on the bus and yet this seems like my best opportunity. I’m just a kid and the son of that man. I don’t have much options and if this place is willing to use me, then I’ll gladly take as much from them as I can. They’re giving us a deadline of two years to get these… changes. That should be enough time for me, either it’ll happen naturally or I’ll find how to do it myself.

What? Turns out there’s already a few kids here who are “Darwin’s children” and they get immediate favoritism. Sorry, I mean they’ve been blessed and need for their skills to be brought out to their full potential, which means they get the better housing and basically anything else you can think of. I won’t lie that made me a little mad seeing how some people already got a head start in this place, but that’s how life is sometimes. It’ll just be that more satisfying when I’m able to get in with them and be able to look down on everyone else.

Now I know that someone my age shouldn’t be thinking like this. That you’re too young to think this badly of the world, well let me say something a kid would say. Well the world started it. If it didn’t want me to think this way, why did it give me such a shit deal? I’m tired of wallowing in the garbage with everyone else. It’s my chance to be on top and I’m going to make sure that I take advantage of it, just like everyone else has in this world. And if anyone thinks that I’m wrong in my thinking, then stop me and prove that you’re better than me. Cause in this world, the only thing that people care about isn’t what is right or wrong, but who’s the person with power.

I have two years to become a DC. I guess I should get to work. Starting by finding some people that will trust me. I don’t have to know that they trust me, I just need to know that they’ll let their guard down around me. That’s all I need. I know I can’t do this all by myself. I need people. People who will follow what I say and believe whatever I say. Should be simple enough, especially if they’re like my father.

#krog #speed writing #newdaynewword #father

A flickering "don't walk" sign

[Time Spent: 30 mins]

“We’re going on ahead! We’ll save a seat for you,” one of my friends yells to me from across the street.

I wave back cause I don’t won’t to bother yelling over the sound of cars coming and going. My friends give me a thumbs up and start to walk off. I sigh as I stare at the red hand reminding me I have to catch up, as usual. I could have ran with all of them, when Chris yelled that it was clear, but as always I hesitated. Now I’m standing by myself feeling like I’m being left behind. I’m sure it’s all in my head and my friends have told me not to worry so much, but I’m not confident, especially because I’m certain I see the back of my friends more than I ever see their faces or facing me even.

Thankfully I get out of my head long enough to notice the blinking figure telling me to cross. As soon as I start to cross, the red numbers start to flash and I get nervous. I start to walk faster and can’t help, but glance at all the drivers staring at me as I walk in front of them. I can feel a shiver down my back as I imagine one of the drivers trying to run me over, it’s all in my head and I manage to cross the street safely.

I look around and I don’t see any of my friends. Great. I didn’t want to go out, but if anything cool happened without me then I’d feel like the biggest idiot. I doubt I would have missed much, but I’d hate to miss that once in a lifetime moment. I hope I’m not the only one who feels that way. I got invited by Allison to come downtown to this show, she didn’t specify and just said it would be a good time. I don’t like loud rooms and I know I won’t be able to get home anytime soon, but I decided to come anyways. I haven’t said any of this to my friends, I don’t want to be the one that drags everyone down when they’re having a good time. They keep telling me I’m acting ridiculous and I feel like they’re right, but… it’s hard not to feel this way.

Well I guess this should be where the show is happening… I check my phone multiple times because I want to see if this is the right place, yeah this is the place. Did my friends text me, maybe they went somewhere else or they’re already inside… No… They didn’t say anything. I take a deep breath and walk inside, the place is dark and I search around for my friends, but I can’t see them anywhere. I walk around looking for them and there’s moments where I think I find them, but it turns out it’s a group of people I don’t recognize. When they notice me looking over it feels like I’m ruining their moment and I walk away as fast as I can.

Where are they? I guess… they’re not here yet. I check my phone and still nothing from them. What’s worse is that I notice that the show should be starting soon. I scramble looking for a place for all of us to sit, but all I can find is a bunch of seats in the front. I sit down in the middle of these empty seats and struggle to stretch my jacket over seats to save for everyone else. I keep looking behind me for my friends, but I never see them. Come on… the show is starting soon.

The lights start to dim and the noise from everyone dies down. My lips begin to get dry as I wait for something to happen and I gulp. I flinch and cover my eyes as a spotlight hits me. I look around and can’t find anyone on stage… or in the seats behind me. My heart is beginning to race and my eyes are starting to dart around.

“Come up to the stage sir,” a static voice calls out.

I’m nervous and yet I feel compelled to do as the voice says. The spotlight stays on me, always making sure I stay in the center. Each step feels like forever and still I can’t find anything or anyone to help me. I can feel my hands shaking as I hold onto the cold handrails as I walk onto the stage. When I arrive onto the middle of the stage, I continue to look around for any clue of what is going on and instead the lights go out.

Where is everyone? This isn’t normal. People don’t just disappear like that. Something is going on and I’m really hoping it’s all just a dream, but I have a feeling this is all real. I close my eyes as I wait for whatever is coming for me. When my eyes close, instead of seeing more darkness, I see… what I can only describe as a different world. I freak out and open my eyes and I’m back to the darkness. Well I guess there’s nothing else, but to go forward.

I gulp and close my eyes. I return back to this other world and the voice calls out to me.

“I hope you’ll be of more use than the one that came before you,” the voice calls out. The voice is no longer static, but spoken in a hush tone.

“Me too,” I say under my voice.

“Just do as I say and everything will be okay,” the voice says.

#krog #speed writing #newdaynewword #A flickering don't walk sign

Suggestion: An old Filipino washer woman

[Time Spent: 30 minutes]

So this will be one of the few times, where I don’t tell a story and instead just write about myself. The suggestion makes me think of a neighbor, an old Filipino woman, who was my babysitter when I was young. I never actually knew her name and just knew her as Lola, which is a way of saying Grandma in Tagalog. I stayed at Lola’s house, where her family stayed also, including her grandsons. I don’t remember much, since it’s a kind of a blur, but I want to say I remember a few times I had to help her clean the dishes and being a bratty kid, I wasn’t happy about it and was making the clear to her. Yeah, I was kind of immature and stupid back then, hopefully I’m better now and I apologize to all the people that I did something wrong to when I was younger, even if they ever read this for some reason.

Anyways, Lola watched after for me, until about middle school, I think… After that I didn’t really see her much, except for the occasional things where we visited for special occasions or holidays. I didn’t think much about it, until my family had to move for… reasons and I found out that I had dress up because we had to attend her funeral. A feeling that I can’t describe washed over me as I tried to process what was going on and how I felt. Someone that had essentially taken care of me for over half of my life at the time had passed away, it would be an understatement if I said that she was someone significant in my life. It was sad, but I wasn’t sure if I was sad…

Eventually the day came when the family had to go to the funeral, again it was a weird feeling as I was saw people I hadn’t seen in years were there. It was awkward. They were really broken up over the whole situation and I tried my best to show my condolences and yet at the same time I can’t say I was that sad. I might have teared up, but that was more of everyone else and less because I was sad over her being gone from my life. Sure I hadn’t seen her in years, but the way I reacted scares me a little.

I can only remember going to two funerals, Lola’s and my grandfather’s. Both times I was surrounded by weeping people and I knew that it was a sad moment, but at the same I don’t remember shedding a single tear. I remember my grandfather a little, but he was from the Philippines, so I didn’t get to see him that much and he had passed, when I was like five or six. Even when I was young, I’ve always been worried about my emotions and how I’ll react if I ever find out someone close to me passes away. I hope I don’t have to attend too many funerals throughout my life because I’m worried about how I’m going to act.

I’m terrified of the thought of someone that I would consider a best friend passing away and that I have a moment of sadness, but then I’m able to just move on with my life. That is one of the most terrifying things to me because as my friends know well that I can be a bit clingy and that stems from me worried about them leaving me, so what if I can’t muster any emotions when they leave me for good. I’m sure most people would want someone to move on with their lives after they have passed, but I don’t want to be able to do that so easily. I want to know that I’ll be able to go through multiple emotions thinking about them, both happiness and sadness, and I don’t think I’m ready for the answer.

Maybe that’s why I have a few stories involving death in some form or another because I’m not quite sure I really feel about it, so this my way of exploring my emotions. Or maybe it’s just because I find it fascinating because I want to try and see the different emotions someone can go through. It’s confusing… I’m not really sure, what I’m supposed to do because most people don’t want to face the inevitably of death and yet, it’s something that sometimes stares us in the face, quite often these days. I’m not sure where this is leading, I just think I need something to help organize my thoughts.

I wonder how people will react after I’ve died… I’m sure it’s something everyone has thought of at least one point in their life. I feel like people would miss me, but I’m not certain of that because you can’t just ask someone that and we’re not in a story where I can see what life would be like after I’m gone, we just have to keep that kind of stuff in our heads. I remember having a heart to heart with someone and they told me they would miss me if I was gone, I won’t go into the specifics, but you can you probably guess what we were talking about. I believe them when they say that, but just like telling someone to get over something, it’s not that easy to get those uncertainties out of my head.

This is kind of a tangent, but I’m probably going to make a new DnD character, who’s going to be necromancy cleric. I’m actually kind of excited about it because it’s a big departure from my usual characters. He or she will be a character who is very accepting of death, but also unaware why people frown at the use of manipulating the dead bodies of their loved ones. Should be fun. Like I said, it’s sometimes weird thinking about how much of my stories or imagination relates to life/death.

Maybe my brain just distances myself from death like a defense mechanism or maybe that’s just how I react as part of my personality. I’ve come to accept I might react like that in the future, but I kind of hope I don’t. If someone is important to me, then they’ve made me feel a wide range of emotions during their life, so I want to be able to feel those emotions even after they’re gone. Even if it’s only for a brief moment, I want to feel them. That would be nice.

#An old Filipino washer woman #krog #speed writing #newdaynewword

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