Just a girl, ready for change.

[newenglandpatriots91]

The Truth is, I’ll Always Love You

So the truth is, I have never stopped thinking about you. I love you and always will, and although we are not together, I am not sad. I am happy that I had the opportunity to know you, laugh with you, grow with you, and to kiss you. The memories with you I will never forget♥️

[newenglandpatriots91]

I made a decision

Decision that we will never be together again. A decision that I did not want to ever make. A decision I didn't want to think about. A decision that was not up to my heart, but up to my upset mind. A decision that needed to be made after a couple years of tears, regret, and wonder. A decision you made when you didn't take me with you. A decision I will always be sad about. But it's the right one.

[newenglandpatriots91]

Goodbye, ex-lover

It's not good when I feel crazy and I know that you're expecting some long ridiculous text message from me, with me being an asshole but I'm just going to say I really had the best times of my life with you...although a very short period of my life, it seemed like a long time to me and I keep reliving the memories in my head. It was the last time I was genuinely happy... I know it's time for me to move on. I don't mean to other guys. You were truly the best, I would have done anything for you. I would have never cheated on you. I only spoke good about you. Thinking about you made me truly happy. I really don't know why I feel the way I do but I know I don't want to continuing like this

[newenglandpatriots91]

"Where you find yourself in life, love, education, finances, career, health, goals, contentment, happiness, joy, is a direct result of your own choices. No one can make you choose up or down, left or right, to stay or go. As such, you bear the full responsibility for those choices, good or bad."

Anonymous male “Brent”

[newenglandpatriots91]

Happy birthday, ex-lover...

Dated 11/22/2015:

​Happy birthday to the man who broke my heart, 7 months ago, by breaking up with me via text message. Some people say that there is no way that I could have "loved" him after knowing him for 3 months, but guess what?  My parents were together for 3 months before marriage and are still together after 26 years. I know I was in love because I have held on for so long, waiting daily, hoping to wake up to a text or a phone call... It never happened. I never told him either. I had hope that you would come back and we would be together eventually, again. Today, all the text messages, tears, t-shirts, and pictures, are now trash. I am finally accepting that it will never be. I learned that I have so much love and dedication that someone else is worth my time, or something else.

[newenglandpatriots91]

Day Two

Well, I worked today, only about 6 hours because I accidentally went in on a day that I had "off". I said that I would work anyways.

Today- I had a peach for breakfast. It was very delicious. I had that around 11 am. At 2pm, I had 5 shrimp. I drank 3 water bottles of water between 12 and 5pm. I am proud of myself for that. I did binge around 6:30. I need to not do that. I think I will have hours that I limit myself from the kitchen.

Did you know that you're supposed to have half your weight in ounces of water per day if you're not active? That means that I should drink about 65-70 ounces per day since I weigh about 135 pounds. 

I am not eating from 8pm-8am. Those are my water or tea only hours. 

It's 840 pm and I still need to work out...grr... trying to do other things then do my work out. I will need to wake up around 8:00 am tomorrow morning, which means I need to be in bed in the next two hours. 

Let's get busy.

[newenglandpatriots91]

Day One/ Sunday July 6th.

Ah, goodness. Life is a little complicated right now. So much going on. Work, softball, MCAT studying, working out, and social life. Of course social life is needed... I am a social human being :)

From co-ed softball, I have learned that females suck. Yes, they are unreliable. They always cancel out last minute. Let's just say guys usually do what they say they're going to do. That's probably why I'm straight. I have softball today. I am not really all too great, but I am pretty good as far as being there and being enthusiastic. I bet I annoy most of the team with my loud, obnoxious self.

As far as work, I cut down to part time this week. There are so many people who are new at my job! There is a really cool new girl and I feel like she'd be a wonderful friend. She's very energetic and optimistic. I love that quality in people. Sadly, it's a rare quality! She's also hardworking and a workaholic. 

MCAT studying- studying chemistry currently. I hope to knock out some pages in the next week, especially before vacation in Florida.I will pack tonight :)

Working out- I was injured, so I took a few days off. I am going to work out tonight after softball though. 

Dieting- I will CUT out chocolate for the rest of the month. Please help me Lord with cutting out chocolate. We need to break-up chocolate, sorry! Also, sorry PB, but since there is no chocolate, there is no relationship with you either. Restricting myself to non-dairy products such as almond milk and cutting out cheese, yogurt, sour cream, etc. I WILL look at labels before eating. If higher than 5g per serving of fat, well you're out too. I'm omitting coconut butter/oil and almonds from the equation. I can have a couple servings of those a day. Let's try to lose weight. I am going to say that I could lose about 10 lbs with diet if I could stick to it. When I mean diet, I don't mean temporary. I mean diet as in what I eat on a daily basis. Let's make this lifestyle. 

Social- well, of course I am kind of single. I do talk to some guys, but the main one who I talk to is in Afghanistan currently. God bless his soul. He's a very handsome Navy Seal. I have been such a good girl for the past 7 months. I kissed someone on NYE, of course, and on my birthday (in January). Tom Brady look alike on my birthday! But I guess he's married now and he was single (supposedly) when we kissed. Life is sad. Well, I did kiss someone two weeks ago. I guess I only kiss people when determined. He is very handsome... but can we say "boring". I cannot deal with boring. He's out of the equation. I told my parents sorry last night for not being a great daughter. I am single, which means that there is no future outlook for a grandchild as of right now. I have thought about children, but without a father- of course there will be no grandbabies for my mother. It's hard for me to wonder why I am single. Okay, I was a little dramatic whenever I dated my ex, but I was also only 18 to first week of 21. Now I am 23 and ready to be serious. My wild ages were from 21-22. I feel like I would make an excellent partner. I'm honest, fun, wild, respectful, social, athletic, smart, committed, hardworking, reliable, and dads' love me and mothers' adore me. Plus my parents are awesome. I just wish that I wasn't so picky. I told Mother that I am so picky because I only want the best for myself, family, and future children. 

Alcohol- well of course I had to have a section about this. I am a recovering social alcoholic. I have only drank wine this past month with the exception of drinking some beer. I went out last Friday and guys just literally kept handing me an unopened beer. Lucky for me. And my friends bc I would give them to them. This happened 5 times. Thank goodness for short dresses, I guess.

[newenglandpatriots91]

Going to do my first workout tonight, week one, day one.

Day one- 40 minutes treadmill. Legs. 20 HIIT. Abs. 30 elliptical.

3 minutes at 7.0 mph, 4 mins at 6.5, 3 minutes at 7.0, 3 minutes at 6.0, 4 minutes of 6.2 minutes, 3 minutes of 7.0. COOL-DOWN

[newenglandpatriots91]

Goals for this week (Monday, March 10th)

-Drink more water

-1.5 hours of  cardio (4x's per week)

-Lift 4 times per week

-Eat healthy;

Stop snacking

Limit chocolate to a minimum