60 days till a new me

[newmeeeeeow]

another few years later and I feel more comfortable in my skin than I have in my life. i feel calm. I feel in tune with my body. My goals aren’t about weight and looks (though my monkey brain can take over from time to time), but rather about FEELING good in my body. 

These thoughts were resurrected and externally communicated for the first time in many years over this past week. My grandma was committed to the hospital with issues concerning the heart and kidneys. Much of the week was spent educating her on the importance of food as a conduit for health and global wellness. Food is like medicine. It cures the ailments and feeds the soul. Redefining a relationship with food is critical for one’s wellbeing (short term and long term). 

I find myself revisiting old threads, thoughts, and personalities. Great to be back here to see the timeline of this relationship shift in my own life. 

[newmeeeeeow]

This is me, just about 2 years from my 1st post on this blog. I once read a post about what "healthy" looks like. Something about healthy not looking "sweaty, petite, fashionable, thin." Rather, healthy looks something like radiating happiness and confidence. 

I can't believe that I can finally see the difference. 

[newmeeeeeow]

Today is Friday, May the 3rd and it is fucking snowing here in Minnesota. It's been a prolonged and depressing winter that started in Budapest and just still won't snuff itself out. It just so happens that today also marks the start of my 60 day juice cleanse. Day 1 bitchez!! I've tried to do cleanses before, often to no avail. It seems that I've lack an important....thing...called self control. Well, today, we will begin to walk through this adventure together. There are a lot of obstacles that may impede the journey; I have no money for groceries (but I have a juicer), my friends don't know that I'm doing this yet (but do I care, I'm a solo dolo), and I've never been able to fast for more than 8 days. So this will be fun I'm sure. 60 days with no food, only cleansing fruit and vegetable juice; could there be anything else more restorative and meditative? 

Last night, I was so intent on getting my last kick in before nailing the board shut on the pizza box that I bought a pizza (ordered ONLINE) and ate nearly the entire pizza myself save one piece. I felt guilty, but guilty never tasted so good. But this is not okay! People get down on people doing juice cleanses because it's "not right for your system" its "unnatural." Well shit, I don't think scarfing down an entire pizza is natural, but it's way more common and proven to be more detrimental than juicing. So fuck it all right now. I'm going to do this right, sippin' on juice every couple of hours, cleaning out my system, writing on here frequently, getting ready for a happier and less depressed Jhernie. Since these notes are for me, I will be, from here on out, addressing myself and not the world. I'm not doing it for you reader, or for a smokin' bod for the boys. I'm doing it for my heart and my ankles that creak under my weight. 

Here it goes to a new life. Cheers