New One TH

[newoneth]

Another Year Closer to 30

Besides the Chinese superstitions, my parents have actually told me a piece of truth... your twenties do zip by just like that (insert finger snap). 

The beginning of my twenties wasn’t that great. 2015 was not my best year either. I reflect on why I evaluate and assess each year and what qualifications am I basing it all on. What I’m finding to be more true in my life is that I dislike changes, especially the changes that are out of my control. I type the list below for documentation.

Changes in the last 12 months:

Family moved away 

Best friend got married

Co-workers’ roles shifted, some left roles

Stepped into new responsibilities in new role 

A good friend and roommate moved to another city for her boyfriend

Switched to a new church community

One long-time student graduated

Moved to a new house

Got 2 more nephews

My previous’ church small group dissolved

Close friend in Austin got married and moved

A new supervisor stepped in

One co-worker left

Two new co-workers

Was out of the country for 6 weeks

Very good friend moved for a job in another city

Good friends getting into serious relationships, a.k.a. less time for friendships.

"Moved.” 

As I am writing this list, the emotions of each bullet point all begin to flood back into the present. I think I’ve verbalized some of these things to people but now after writing them, I’m wondering how I survived 2015. The effects of these changes are now hitting me because I never really processed them well. I didn’t pray over them... I didn’t pray for myself and wasn’t real with God when I felt these frustrations. Mentally, all of this took a toll on me and I didn’t even know. Spiritually, I embraced the busyness so that I could show that nothing could affect my work in ministry. I used God as a way to show others and most of all myself that He is has given me strength, but I twisted His words to fit my own independent agenda. And so I bow before Him now.

Father, Friend, Jehovah, Emmanuel, Messiah.... I’m sorry. Lately, my back has been facing you and you, you’re there waiting for me. I thought so highly of myself, the world revolving around me. I thought I could handle everything, I thought I could just control everything. I thought I was you. I’m sorry. You are my Jesus, my Savior. How can I turn to myself as a god when you are the only one who is perfect in my life? I ask for forgiveness, and I repent, turning my face to you. I come to you broken-hearted by the disappointments of the world. Heal my heart, Friend, make it clean. 

[newoneth]

What is Newoneth?

NYNT was my previous tumblr blog where I where I wanted to start the new journey of living in The Big Apple. That season of my life has been over for some time already and I simply felt like starting anew.

NYNT is an acronym for New York New Tiffo and I loved the newness of the name and the sense of anticipation it held. What will happen to Tiffo? How would she become new? Will New York change her? All those questions carried the posture I had towards the move to the city. I was ready. I was scared. Terrified. Curious. Prepared. Determined. I allowed that experience to change me and so it did. I grew to love the city sounds so much to the point that whenever I returned to Houston, I wouldn’t be able to sleep at night because it was so quiet. Yes, I would miss the ambulance sirens, fights on the street at 2am, fire alarms going off, buses screeching as they stopped... the zooms of the cars passing by below my 7th floor windows. But these physical aspects of New York were only skin deep. 

What really pierced my soul about that experience were the joys of finding community in a place of loneliness. I discovered a new worldview of this planet. As they say, there’s no other place like New York City. It has a vibrant life of its own, reminding me of those ant colony terrariums... times 100.

So what is Newoneth?

New = novel, original, fresh, different, unfamiliar, strange, reborn, creative

one = the one and only me

th = my initials

I originally wanted to use NewOne but someone had already claimed it... And it’s not even being used. Yes, I checked their tumblr. Hence the TH added at the end. Not a lot of meaning.

Newoneth was chosen because I still loved the newness of it in the same way that New York brought newness in my life. I desire that same anticipation that I had over 5 years ago. It’s time that I choose this perspective again in Austin, a place familiar and old to me. Lately I’ve fallen into the belief that I there’s nothing new for me here. How wrong I have been! Help my unbelief. Make me anew and see that there is newness in the ordinary. May I become one that is finding new in the old. 

[newoneth]

Is Blogging Dead?

As I scroll through the popular pages of the World Wide Web in the new year of 2016, I find myself reminiscing my Xanga and Blogspot years where I spent hours writing, not for eprops, but for the pure pleasure that writing brings to my daydream-prone brain. Nowadays in the big WWW, I see clickbait like “46 Life-style Changing Tips Every Woman Should Know” (Yes, it’s real), #hashtags, and moving pictures like in Harry Potter (disclaimer: GIFs bring me much joy).

So where’s all the actual blogging?

“Tumblr!” people say. Even so, Tumblr is a fairly loud platform with users posting 20+ images, GIFs, repostings, linked to FB and Twitter, shares, and other ways for more people to read your innermost and deepest thoughts as if you wanted to publicize it all. It’s as if everyone wants to be known by everyone! The absurdity. No, I wouldn’t count that Tumblr as a pure blogging site.

I notice that many company or organization’s sites have blogs, but I don’t count them since they’re probably paid to write. Either that or they’re asked to write for them. No, not quite a blog in the sense of an individual writing to their heart’s content.

Do people even use the word “blog” now? As I’m writing this post, I’m not even sure if people born after 1998 will have the same definition of a blog as me. Weird. And interesting.

Perhaps I need to get with the times, join the bandwagon, and start adding cool ephemeral photos or those pictures with big white block-like letters… Yeah, memes. But there’s something raw and genuine I miss about reading the content of someone’s mind through the simple format of paragraphs, sentences, and words. Seeing the world through another’s eyes in actual words reveals who they are at their deepest core. Their voice emerges from the page and you begin to see where they’re coming from, what they’re feeling, sensing, thinking. The uniqueness of the written word is one of the most powerful forms of art, history, communication, and the heart. By no means is writing the only way to express what you desire to convey but it has developed with humanity as long as we’ve ever known.

And, well, here I am. Attempting to revive this old blog (or Tumblr) of NYNT, New York New Tiffo. I think I’m due for a name change by the way. That season has passed I’m ready for a new one. Hello, 2016. It’s me.