Newt and Hermann don’t share an office when they get their joint university tenure, I’m here to lay down some facts
They have different offices in different buildings
with windows that face each other
This has given them both reason and opportunity to maintain at least two or three ongoing conversations
One through email, one through text, one through speaker phone on their office line
Sometimes newt will open his window and “DOCTOR GOTTLIEB! WHERE DO YOU WANT TO ORDER LUNCH? THEY DON’T DELIVER! CAN WE TRY THE NEW POLISH DELI PLACE? OKAY, TEXT ME WHAT YOU WANT!”
Sometimes hermann will sip tea, lean back to admire his finished work, reflect on how close they came to extinction, look across to newt’s windo OH MY GOD WHY IS NEWTON’S OFFICE ON FIRE
Newton keeps a pet octopus in his office that likes to escape its tank. Hermann occasionally shouts at it when it goes for the open window. Hermann occasionally texts Newt pictures. Hermann occasionally watches vindictively.
“DON’T YOU SLAM YOUR WINDOW AT ME, FIGHT ME, GOTTLIEB! HEY! HEY YOU! YEAH, BASKETBALL SHORTS IN SNOW, YOU! CATCH THIS NOTE AND TAKE IT TO DOCTOR GOTTLIEB’S OFFICE! I DON’T KNOW, I’LL GIVE YOU EXTRA CREDIT! SO DROP YOUR MAJOR, TAKE MY CLASS AND GET MY EXTRA CREDIT, YOU’RE BURNING DAYLIGHT!”
Sometimes when a coworker comes into his office, Hermann is Cornered Into Socializing. Newt will notice Hermann fidgeting from his window and “pop in” to save the day and intercept the small talk onslaught
Newt sneaks into Hermann’s office and tries to pull pranks. Tries. Hermann is the younger-middle child of four siblings. Newt is an only child with limited childhood relationships with other kids. Hermann hasn’t fallen for any pranks, and lives for the /tangible/ self righteous moments when he can stroll in, casually lock his cabinet with a chair until Newt tries to come out of hiding. Tries.