Broken Strings || Niall
It took all the self restraint not to turn around. Her will power was strong, and that was proved by the battles that she had to go through daily. But this was probably the hardest test for her. When he began to speak, she didn’t know whether to be sad, angry or disappointed as he spilled out the reasoning for his sudden departure. On some level she was frustrated but she could understand his reasoning. She’d been there herself when she was first re-diagnosed. She had to get away before she did something stupid. So she could understand why, but it didn’t make it hurt any less, instead it made her more upset about the fact that he felt that he couldn’t confide in her. As he went on, she could practically hear the tears and she felt the sad feeling bubble up once more, knowing that she wasn’t the only one suffering because of his actions.
Steeling herself and willing for her voice not to crack once more, she let go of her wrist, her hands shaking as she finally turned around to face him, giving up on holding her composure, letting the tears run. “I put every ounce of my trust in you, Ni. I was scared to do so and rightly so! The last time I’d been this bad was when I was eighteen and I really stopped believing in love, because it just caused me more pain. I gave you a chance to make me re-think that choice and you just shattered it, shattered the promises. And I broke. I lost you and Edward in one go and I thought I was living in a nightmare. I’ve barely slept since you left because I just have these thoughts in my head, the go around and around. I want to hate you so much, I want to hit you, I want to show you how much it hurt to lose someone who I’d fallen so in love with. I would have stood by your side and I still will if you need that person because as much as I want to hate you, I can’t. And that’s what hurt me because I couldn’t be angry at you. I was angry at myself.” Lifting her hands, she wiped at the tears before letting out a breath. “Why would you honestly believe that me, of all people, would judge you? You’re the one person I could care less about how they acted around me or others. As long as you were happy.”
He let his head fall as she spoke he next words. Knowing what he was going to say next was going to completely ruin her at no end. He took his last chance to look at the girl, and to admire her one last time before he lost her forever. Her hazel eyes, shimmering through the tears. The way her voice sounded. The way she looked in the dim light, then he let himself drift away. He thought about their first night together, on Hayley’s birthday. Their first kiss, their first moments as an unofficial “Couple”. He let a tear slide down his cheek before looking back up at the girl. “I-I need to tell you something..”
Inhaling and exhaling a breath, he felt his eyes water over once more. “I’m, well I’m not staying. I don’t belong here Hayley, lets face it. I need help and being trapped on this island isn’t helping. I’m going insane! Home is where I belong, I’m heading back to Mullingar in a couple of hours. I just wanted to come by and goodbye. I’ll miss you, but I um, this, um lets just forget it alright? I’m leaving, that’s all you need to know.” Niall took a step toward her, and patted her shoulder, and walked out the door, leaving her behind forever.
