We've Fallen Far Too Distant. @nick-uhh-wha - Tumblr Blog

eruditebaboon

Yes, it’s the self-indulgent comic about making comics that no one asked for, here at last!

theclearlydope

When you in the club doing your own thing and someone creeps up behind.

lavenderthistle

wolftyla oh my god I’m dying

maekat23-deactivated20211215

thegreatoutdoorz

xenosagaepisodeone

wearedevo

what’s better than this?

guys bein’ dudes in holes

theliftinglife00-deactivated202

He was born to play

botanicsage

HOLY SHIT. EFFICIENCY AT ITS FINEST.

rubberninja

Who was Monty? Monty was the personification of motivation, determination and resolve. He was the man who never slowed down, who always wanted his life to be efficient, quick and as productive as possible. To those of you that never knew Monty, it might be hard to imagine to what extent of this I...

vipadafai

Eye contact

idreamofjimmy

charmancler

is that twilight

africant

yes. yes it is.

best-of-memes

rememberingtoforgetaboutit-deac

that was the best thing I have read in about 10 years.

zatannazatarstiel

*cha cha’s real smooth away from academic responsibilities*

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nick-uhh-wha

carrotcatmd:

Everyone should start carrying $2 bills! I’m STILL laughing!! I think we need to quit saving our $2 bills and bring them out in public. The younger generation doesn’t even know they exist! STORY: On my way home from work, I stopped at Taco Bell for a quick bite to eat. I have a $50 bill and a $2 bill. I figure with the $2 bill, I can get something to eat and not have to worry about irritating anyone for trying to break a $50 bill. Me: ‘Hi, I’d like one seven-layer burrito please, to go.’ Server: ‘That’ll be $1.04. Eat in?’ Me: ‘No, it’s to go.’ At this point, I open my billfold and hand him the $2 bill. He looks at it kind of funny. Server: ‘Uh, hang on a sec, I’ll be right back.’ He goes to talk to his manager, who is still within my earshot. The following conversation occurs between the two of them: Server: ‘Hey, you ever see a $2 bill?’ Manager: ‘No. A what?’ Server: ‘A $2 bill. This guy just gave it to me…’ Manager: ‘Ask for something else. There’s no such thing as a $2 bill.’ Server: ‘Yeah, thought so.’ He comes back to me and says, ‘We don’t take these. Do you have anything else?’ Me: ‘Just this fifty. You don’t take $2 bills? Why? Server: ‘I don’t know.’ Me: ‘See here where it says legal tender?’ Server: ‘Yeah.’ Me: ‘So, why won’t you take it?’ Server: ‘Well, hang on a sec.’ He goes back to his manager, who has been watching me like I’m a shoplifter, and says to him, ‘He says I have to take it.’ Manager: ‘Doesn’t he have anything else?’ Server: ‘Yeah, a fifty. I’ll get it and you can open the safe and get change. Manager: ‘I’m not opening the safe with him in here.’ Server: ‘What should I do?’ Manager: ‘Tell him to come back later when he has real money.’ Server: ‘I can’t tell him that! You tell him.’ Manager: ‘Just tell him.’ Server: ‘No way! This is weird. I’m going in back. The manager approaches me and says, ‘I’m sorry, but we don’t take big bills this time of night.’ Me: ‘It’s only seven o’clock! Well then, here’s a two dollar bill.’ Manager: ‘We don’t take those, either.’ Me: ‘Why not?’ Manager: ‘I think you know why.’ Me: ‘No really, tell me why.’ Manager ‘Please leave before I call mall security.’ Me: ‘Excuse me?’ Manager: ‘Please leave before I call mall security.’ Me: ‘What on earth for?’ Manager: ‘Please, sir..’ Me: ‘Uh, go ahead, call them.’ Manager: ‘Would you please just leave?’ Me: ‘No.’ Manager: ‘Fine — have it your way then.’ Me: ‘Hey, that’s Burger King, isn’t it?’ At this point, he backs away from me and calls mall security on the phone around the corner. I have two people staring at me from the dining area, and I begin laughing out loud, just for effect. A few minutes later this 45-year-oldish guy comes in. Guard: ‘Yeah, Mike, what’s up?’ Manager (whispering): ‘This guy is trying to give me some (pause) funny money.’ Guard: ‘No kidding! What?’ Manager: ‘Get this. A two dollar bill.’ Guard (incredulous): ‘Why would a guy fake a two dollar bill?’ Manager: ‘I don’t know. He’s kinda weird. He says the only other thing he has is a fifty.’ Guard: ‘Oh, so the fifty’s fake!’ Manager: ‘No, the two dollar bill is.’ Guard: ‘Why would he fake a two dollar bill?’ Manager : ‘I don’t know! Can you talk to him, and get him out of here?’ Guard: ‘Yeah.’ Security Guard walks over to me and…… Guard: ‘Mike here tells me you have some fake bills you’re trying to use.’ Me: ‘Uh, no.’ Guard: ‘Lemme see ‘em.’ Me: ‘Why?’ Guard: ‘Do you want me to get the cops in here?’ At this point I’m ready to say, ‘Sure, please!’ but I want to eat, so I say, ‘I’m just trying to buy a burrito and pay for it with this two dollar bill. I put the bill up near his face, and he flinches like I’m taking a swing at him. He takes the bill turns it over a few times in his hands, and he says, Guard: ‘Hey, Mike, what’s wrong with this bill?’ Manager: ‘It’s fake.’ Guard: ‘It doesn’t look fake to me.’ Manager: ‘But it’s a two dollar bill.’ Guard: ‘Yeah? ‘ Manager: ‘Well, there’s no such thing, is there?’ The security guard and I both look at him like he’s an idiot and it dawns on the guy that he has no clue and is an idiot. So, it turns out that my burrito was free, and he threw in a small drink and some of those cinnamon thingies, too. Made me want to get a whole stack of two dollar bills just to see what happens when I try to buy stuff.

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aiadreamloss-deactivated2016020

rubberninja

Last night I dreamed about going to a doughnuts store. I dreamed I was going to buy the most awesome doughnut and then Holly woke me up with a phone call. I was so upset about not eating the dream doughnut that later in the day Holly took me to a doughnut shop and we got amazingly fancy...