Nicole's Sanity Box

[nicoletters]

5 Things You Should Do Before Having Your Own Family

Building your own family is a huge step in one's life. Here's what I wish I would have done more before I got married and had kids.

[marianneandkim]

Please Don't Make Me Rich

My boyfriend and I used to always crave for Japanese food. When we go out, without planning it, we often end up in a Japanese restaurant. We have tried different Jap food places in the metro, both the cheap and expensive ones. But one day, we ate at a buffet restaurant. Of course, as you might expect, we frequented the Japanese section, among others. It was delicious. Afterward, suddenly, I don’t want to eat Japanese food anymore. Thinking about it makes me sad. We loved it; how can we turn away from it just like that? Okay, this is not a rom-com script. Kidding aside, I realized that when you can have anything and everything to your heart’s content, the pleasure of life suddenly leaves you. It’s not exciting any longer. Is that the price of having it all? If I get rich and experience everything life has to offer, sky’s the limit, would I find life boring after a while too?

I find it amusing that people will become engaging when the topic is being rich. So I decided to elaborate about why I don’t want to be one. I used to. Haven’t I mentioned that I worked three jobs and tripled my savings? I ended up wealthy, wasted, nonchalant about material things, and unable to enjoy life. I strained my body, and I strained my faith without knowing it. I forgot that God will give me everything I need. Maybe not everything I want, but it doesn’t matter. I proved something to myself and to other people but not to my God.

I even question now why I am into traveling. Is it just because I love going places? Or is it also because I want to post travel photos on Instagram and prove something to people? Maybe both, which is disconcerting. I should get back on track.

Why should we stop trying to get rich? For one, the Bible is not at all tolerant of rich people. I think I could safely say that it discourages you to be wealthy. It’s full of reasonable and logical advice on how being rich would only make your life miserable:

“Give up trying so hard to get rich. Your money flies away before you know it, just like an eagle suddenly taking off” (Proverbs 23:4-5).

“The rich may have to pay a ransom, but the poor don’t have that problem” (Proverbs 13:8).

“It’s better to obey the Lord and have only a little, than to be very rich and terribly anxious” (Proverbs 15:16).

“It’s much better to be wise and sensible than to be rich" (Proverbs 16:16).

“God blesses his loyal people, but punishes all who want to get rich quick. Don’t be selfish and eager to get rich—you will end up worse off than you can imagine” (Proverbs 28:20, 22).

Jesus said so himself, “It’s hard for rich people to get into God’s kingdom!” (Mark 10:23, exclamation point his). It’s the Messiah talking; I’m not going to argue with that or insist what I want. My brother, who works in a casino, has witnessed and heard a lot of depressing riches-to-rags stories. Some even ended up killing themselves because they couldn’t find happiness even with all their money and didn’t know how to fill the void. Look around you. How many people whom you personally know suddenly transformed into someone you don’t know and don’t want to become because they now live the high life? Hashtag blessed, anyone?

Well, money corrupts people, and it could be me and you. You may even be poor and be equally corrupted. “Sometimes you can become rich by being generous or poor by being greedy” (Proverbs 11:24). Question is, Are you willing to gamble your morals (and haughtily take it as a challenge to your faith), or do you submit all your worries to God and stop overthinking things, which leads to priceless peace? Think about it.

Let’s not bully the rich in this article. In fact, I know a lot of rich people who could pass as saints. People can earn clean money and be truly blessed by God with the best things in the world. The Bible says, “And I give great riches to everyone who loves me” (Proverbs 8:21). Some are rich by circumstance, being born with it. For most of us who don’t have everything and have to struggle for money, the challenge is to trust that God will provide. For our rich friends, however, the challenge is very different. When Jesus told the rich man to give all his money to the poor and follow him in order to inherit God’s kingdom, the man became sad because he was very rich. I know some of our rich friends are well-meaning, but that is their life challenge. Very different from ours, of course, but it is a challenge and a hard one at that. So the Bible says, “Warn the rich people of this world not to be proud or to trust in wealth that is easily lost. Tell them to have faith in God, who is rich and blesses us with everything we need to enjoy life. Instruct them to do as many good deeds as they can and to help everyone. Remind the rich to be generous and share what they have” (1 Timothy 6:17-18).

So instead of trying to get rich, what should we do? Be content. It’s easier said that done, right? But the best people I know are the ones who can see beauty in everything, even in bad situations. And that can only come from strong faith. I know someone who has just been diagnosed of cancer but is still thankful because he believes God used his disease to bring together his family. So what do most of us, who are fairly healthy and eat three times (or more) a day, say about our life? Do we often complain? Or are we content? The Bible says, “And religion does make your life rich, by making you content with what you have. We didn’t bring anything into this world, and we won’t take anything with us when we leave. So we should be satisfied just to have food and clothes. People who want to be rich fall into all sorts of temptations and traps. They are caught by foolish and harmful desires that drag them down and destroy them” (1 Timothy 6:6-9). I believe, though, that you can be content while hoping for a better tomorrow. But the most important of all is, before anything, serve the Lord, and everything will follow. 

 You’ll never know, you might even get rich.

This is my prayer: “Make me absolutely honest and don’t let me be too poor or too rich. Give me just what I need. If I have too much to eat, I might forget about you; if I don’t have enough, I might steal and disgrace your name” (Proverbs 30:8-9). “Make me want to obey you, rather than to be rich” (Psalms 119:36). I don’t even know these verses before I decided that being rich is not for me. I thank God that he took away from me the desire to be wealthy because “the high life” is so tempting, what with bloggers showing us that they are people to envy. But be creative; you can experience all of that without spending too much, but that deserves a separate article. For now, sit back, count your blessings, and know that you and what you have are enough.

Kim

[nicoletters]

A good read on an Easter Sunday morning :) 

[marianneandkim]

Love Knows No Distance

Let me first share my view about relationships. 

I grew up in a family where no one leaves—nine adults and two kids living under one roof. That’s how big of a family we are. My eldest brother is the only one married, and they are blessed with two adorable boys. Oh, my nephews, how they make us feel young every day. Here in our country, we may stay under our parents’ roof, even when we’re beyond eighteen years old, as long as we are aware of our share, especially the bills. No one will judge us that way. I thought that was my parents’ reason. But they, married for thirty years, believe more in staying together as long as possible. They once said, “As long as we are capable of providing for your needs, we can move on like this.” And they still are, but mind you, we know our shares. I guess they just love to see our faces every day. I grew up that way, and that’s how I view relationships—close and together. 

So now I’m asking myself why I am writing about long-distance relationship. Why do I believe in LDR? I did not, until two years and five months ago. 

I’ve known many people who believe that distance weakens love; I cannot blame them. No one wants to spend Valentine’s Day alone. (Well, I’m not so sure about that.) We surely want to spend time and do things with our special ones. We develop this strength within ourselves knowing that someone’s presence is there, ready to face the world with us. That exciting feeling to share with them our good news, even the bad ones. A simple HHWW is enough to make us feel we are not alone. In short, I shared the same belief. 

There was always presence in my past relationships. I celebrated special occasions with them, and with just a message away, they were with me. Leaving out the reasons why they ended, these relationships had the opportunity of physical togetherness. So when I met my boyfriend, my belief changed. Our distance? Not much. Just more than six thousand miles away, eight-hour difference. Basically, I already spent half of my day, and he’s just waking up. I was afraid at first, maybe because I’m not used to it. But then I’ve always believed that love finds a way. 

I like how Meghan Daum puts it. “Distance is not for the fearful, it’s for the bold. It’s for those who are willing to spend a lot of time alone in exchange for a little time with the one they love. It’s for those who know a good thing when they see it, even if they don’t see it nearly enough.” I believe we are bold enough to continue with the relationship, as it wasn’t easy. With the absence of physical affection, it’s just the words we rely on to. 

It’s really challenging me. There were times I felt jealous of couples passing by, holding hands like they were telling me they’re lucky they’re together. To say that I felt alone once is a lie. I’ve felt it quite a number of times, not because it’s raining, and I need a hug, but because of moments I want him to be with me to comfort me when I’m weary or facing something; because of times I want us to talk, but he’s sleeping, and I’m wide awake; because I want us to collect experiences together, but we can’t, as the tickets are expensive; because I simply want him to fetch me after work so that we can have dinner after a day’s work. 

Am I blaming him? Never. Am I blaming myself for choosing this kind of relationship? Not once. They say that trust is the very ingredient of LDR. Yes, but for us, it’s the respect and appreciation that we have for each other that keeps us going; trust comes after. We trust a person when we know he’s worthy of it. For me, he’s worthy of my trust by the little things he does to earn it. Mentioning Skype and Whatsapp, he uses each of them each day to let me know that we’re connected, like he’s just my neighbor. He greets me every morning and lets me know when he’s about to sleep. He bombards me with messages when I’m not replying. He lets me know when he’s home even when I’m sleeping so I won’t worry when I wake up the next day. He talks to my mom to let her know his good intention. He feels bad when I’m going home late on my own, as he knows he’s not here to look after me. And oh, he never forgets to remind me how much he loves me and how I changed him. 

I may whine at times because he’s not here, because of our distance, but when I think about all the efforts he had done to keep us going, I am more than thankful that God gave me this challenge. As long as he teaches me never to doubt myself, to believe that everything is possible for us as long as we believe, then I’m in for it, no matter the distance.

Cypriene works as an editor and loves to read. She is a frustrated flight attendant who likes to travel and collect ref magnets. She loves baking and plans to have her own cake store someday.

[marianneandkim]

Seven Ingredients to a Happy Marriage

My married life may still be on its early days that I can’t call myself an expert yet. But I believe that “starting right” is one of the important elements of a longer relationship. Would you agree?

My husband and I were high school best friends. We didn’t get into a romantic relationship with each other until almost a decade later. We parted ways after high school and were not able to see much of each other for quite a long time. When we did, we were like different, but definitely better, versions of ourselves, ready to love each other. *insert “Maybe This Time” song here*

I always thought it was because of fate that, even after all those years, we still ended up together. God’s own timing. What are the odds, right? With that, we treat each other as a gift from Him and make sure we take care of our gifts by keeping the love. How?

Here are seven ingredients in our happy marriage:

Mykel and I value this a lot. Mykel needed me to believe in him. That he can do everything he wants. That he can change the old bad ways. That he can be better. He quit smoking. It was a decision he made, not an “order” from me. But he said it was because I believed that he can do it. I also needed him to believe in my abilities when I’m feeling down or when my confidence is dwindling.

We still have big dreams, and while some of them may seem distant for us, knowing that there is someone who has faith in you gives you the comfort that, one day, those dreams will come into fruition.

“Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken” (Ecclesiastes 4:12).

We often hear this advice: don’t go to sleep without getting over your fights. Well, I’m glad to say that this has always been our practice. After giving ourselves some time to nurse our temper, we say sorry and talk about what happened.

“And be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God in Christ forgave you” (Ephesians 4:32).

I don’t know how many times we say this to each other every day. Mushy, I know. But it is important to express verbally that you love each other, no matter how cheesy it may sound. They may be just three words, only words, but they carry heavy meanings, especially when you’re sincere about it. I don’t want to feel “shy” or awkward saying those words when we grow old.

I have learned to express what I feel, what hurt me, what disappoints me, rather than stay quiet and let him guess what he did or did not do. Women have been known to say things but mean otherwise. Really, saying what you mean makes things less complicated and less frustrating.

“Be completely humble and gentle; Be patient, bearing with one another in love. Make every effort to keep the unity of the spirit through the bond of peace” (Ephesians 4:2-3).

It’s the foundation of trust. If you stay honest, you gain your partner’s trust. Also, your partner needs to feel trusted, so don’t nag or doubt if you don’t have good reasons to do so. I’ve learned that by giving my trust to my husband, I gain some peace of mind.

“Do not lie to one another, seeing that you have put off the old self with its practices” (Colossians 3:9).

Have fun together. Do things you want to do. Throw your corniest jokes. Dance even if you can’t, and have a good laugh. It’s important that you enjoy each other’s company.

During trying times, when both of you are demotivated and discouraged, it is through Him that you gain strength. “Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths” (Proverbs 3:5-6).

“‘For I know the plans I have for you,’ declares The Lord, ‘plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future’” (Jeremiah 29:11).

Nicole is a freelance writer and editor. She loves reading youth fiction and magical stories. Right now, she’s learning a lot about motherhood and marriage. She tries to keep a blog for her sanity’s sake. 

[nicoletters]

Breastfeeding tips: When your baby bites

Breastfeeding tips: When your baby bites

The pain a mother feels doesn’t end at giving birth. It continues when the milk starts coming out (or not coming out when milk ducts are clogged) and when you start breastfeeding. But when you get to feed your baby and the latch is just perfect, the pain goes away. Until your baby’s teeth come out! Yayks! But wait! It shouldn’t be the end of your wonderful breastfeeding journey. There are several…

View On WordPress

[nicoletters]

Life at the moment

The past year has been a whirlwind of change. I got married. I gave birth. I quit my job. Now I stay at home to take care of my son. I still work (salamat sa mga online gigs), madalas habang kandong si baby, hawak ng isang kamay, habang ang kabilang kamay ay nagta-type sa keyboard ng laptop. Yung 8 hours ko dapat na trabaho, stretched. Kasi in-betweens, babysitting mode. Diskarte sumingit ng…

View On WordPress

[nicoletters]

There's that again. #hope #faith

[nicoletters]

Bati na nya si daddy. Hehe #babysmile #babydaddybonding

[nicoletters]

I miss you, Potchee. #pet #cat

[nicoletters]

#sunset

[nicoletters]

Wacky!

[nicoletters]

Dear Daddy, Thank you sa paglaba ng mga lampin ko, sa pagpupuyat para makatulog si mommy, sa pagkarga at pagpapatulog sa akin with matching kanta. Madami ka pang gagawin. Hihi. Love you! Jaden #happyfathersday

[nicoletters]

Dear Tatay

We’re used to not seeing each other for quite some time. Days. Weeks. Months. We’re used to just having a few calls to check on each other which usually only last for a couple of minutes. But we know we’re in each other thoughts. We never forget. It’s been more than a month since you left. For good. And though I’m used to not seeing you, it hurts so bad now whenever I remember that I will never…

View On WordPress

[nicoletters]

Thank you for all the prayers and well wishes. :) Here's our little angel, Marcus Jaden.

[nicoletters]

Tinola ala chamba. Chos! 😁 #food

[nicoletters]

What's for dinner. 😊 #food #cravings

[nicoletters]

#happymothersday sa aking mga mothers! (Take 2!)