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@niftylittlequotes
A very short story.
Surround yourself with people who talk about visions and ideas, not other people.
Akin Olokun (via deeplifequotes)
The first heartbreak is always the hardest, it feels like someone ripped your heart out of your chest. Then, as if only just realizing the monumental impact of their action, shoved it back into your chest before retreating. For weeks, perhaps even months, food has little taste, going out with your friends has no appeal, experiences just hold no merit to you any longer. You wake up, only to wish you were still asleep. It’s true, the first heartbreak may perhaps be the hardest thing you will ever have to experience. But the bright side is it will never be this hard ever again.
Excerpt from a book I’ll never write again (via sunflowerletters)
Oh, the pain, I think I may be an addict Because it's all I've ever known I think I self-sabotage just to get a fix Just to sit alone, feel the low What if I'm destined to never know happiness What if my life will always crumble into a mess I know what I'm doing when I push send I can't stop myself from risking an end What if he weathers through my storms? What if he says, "I'm here, try me" What if he soothes my heartache? I think there's a safe haven inside his arms I'm scared, but he's there after my bad dreams I'm lost, but his eyes guide me back to shore I'm sad, but his touch warms every inch of me I think he looks at me like no one has before Do we ever get a happy ending? We all die alone, this I've seen I just want to feel like I have a home Like I'm not completely and utterly alone He walks in I think this is it I hope he stays for a long time If not, at least I'm safe for a little while Just a little while
March 18, 2017
For the longest time, I've felt far away Like I'm standing separate from my life Watching it unfold, day after day Like I'm staring at myself through someone else's eyes I don't know if it's depression or disassociation Understandably, I have a right to either or This past year has tormented me to the point of being numb Of questioning the point in going on anymore I never thought I'd be able to feel love again I saw nothing in my future, a dark dead end But now I look ahead and see your smile My fingertips on your skin by candlelight I don't know if you could ever understand I still feel somewhat lost, but when you offer me your hand You alone bring me back to here and now Showing me which way is up, which way is down Because it's almost like I'm drowning in a sea Of emotions, of people, of absolutely nothing Like my life is a duller shade, a lesser quality Until you look into my eyes and shoot that smile at me For then I see a future, someone who really cares Someone who wants to stay, someone who is there You're my good morning, and my good night A don't be scared, I'll see you in the morning light When I feel like my words have gone from poetry to prose Or when everything seems to be falling apart All it takes is your head on my chest, near my heart And then I suddenly feel like I've found a home Somehow you remind me of who I used to be Even though you didn't know the old me I guess I'm still here, little chunks and pieces, maybe Fighting to break through the catastrophe Like rainbows after stormy weather Or flowers blooming after a harsh winter In the midst of my darkest days I found something surreally real A blossoming love, a fiery haze A beautiful soul, helping me heal My shadow days must surely end soon For even through the clouds, I still see the moon I have a lot to live for, I admit And I'm lucky to add you to the list I hope in time I can give you the rest of my soul Once I piece it together, once I again become whole I will give you all that I can until that time And hope it's enough for you to stay by my side For if you think I'm beautiful now, just wait and see When I have flowers in my hair, twirling around in my sundress Blasting music, windows down, the wind making my hair a mess Singing a song, then looking over to see if you're watching me And wait until I drag you outside Just to see the full moon you've seen a million times When I serenade you with an original I made up on the dime Or when you say something so sweet it makes me cry If you're slowly falling in love with the terrible mess that I am now Just wait until there's no more darkness, no more being down It'll be like a golden sunset over the most beautiful blue sea Brilliant colors and happiness, like your favorite memories But for now I'll revel in what we have so far I'm content and safe wrapped in your arms The smell of your hair overwhelms my senses And everything in the world seems to make sense Life with you is so beautiful, indeed And it seems to only get better every time Each kiss, each hug, each laugh, each date night The best part is even at my worst, I see how much you're falling for me.
March 17, 2017
I wonder how biology can explain the physical pain you feel in your chest when all you want to do is be with someone.
Dan Howell (via lazypacific)
When things are shaky and nothing is working, we might realize that we are on the verge of something. We might realize that this is a very vulnerable and tender place, and that tenderness can go either way. We can shut down and feel resentful or we can touch in on that throbbing quality.
Pema Chödrön (via purplebuddhaproject)
I think you’re a fairy tale. I think you’re magical, and brave, and exquisite. And I hope you’ll let me be in your story.
Laini Taylor, Strange the Dreamer (via thelovejournals)
I've been forced to reevaluate my belief on love these last few months. Self-love, maternal love, and the kind of love that men die for and cry for. I was raised to be independent of any man for any reason. I was raised around failed relationships and a resulting bitter and possibly self-deprecating demeanor. I vowed to never be with a man who abused me, or treated me like I was inferior. I had some abandonment issues and desired love so badly my bones ached. I fell for some imbeciles and then the bad one happened. It wasn't physical, more underlying indirect comments that slowly morphed who I was; I was transformed into his masterpiece. I hurt after it was over, but the illusions of true love were shattered by a soulmate. This was the good one. I thought he was my best friend, and he was the soothing balm to my cuts and scratches. He was fresh air. He blew through, caressing and kissing my exposed sensitive heart, only to whirl around and shatter it beyond apparent repair. He took my breath away when he took his love away. I wanted to hold on, but he was impossible to grasp. Fast forward seven months, one sudden death, one surgery, and one truly broken heart later. Along came a sweet, shy, skittish man. This is the one. Almost the one you dreamed of finding, but better. Nearly the painting you created in your mind, but more vivid. Close to the home you imagined, but filled with so much more warmth and light. He's the last piece of the puzzle fitting snugly into the middle. He's the fill-in-the blank, finish your sentence, speak your mind one. He's the call to clarify and correct, bring you medicine and food when you're sick, understand when your day has been too long one. He's the loves his mom, wants a family, and wants a warm home one. He's the try to stop me from fixing your sad, keep his promises no matter what, kiss your forehead one. He's the lose sleep for just one more minute with you, just one more kiss please, I can't wait to see you again one. The call me in the middle of the night if you need me, your dog is mine, leave a pillow and blanket over at your place one. He's the damaged, afraid, I don't believe in the magic of love anymore one. However, you're his surprise delight and his dream come true. He's ready to drop everything and move mountains to make sure you're all right. He's ready to see you and misses you after a day. He loves so much that he is your muse. He's slowly but surely falling for you. See, love really is a fairytale. It's wondering how in the world it's possible for you to have met a match, a match so close and comfortable it fits like your favorite glove. When he's around, it's a calm contentment, an unspoken understanding, and a silent solidarity. There's a hesitant conviction, that he's the one - because you don't want to be too sure that you're sure. You keep your guard up just in case, waiting for him to fail and then the facade destroyed. But he doesn't. And he won't. Because he is the one. He is the one who eliminates the game, smashes the establishment, and presents a new future. He's the one you wake up to and fall asleep with. He's the one you see holding your hand, in all good and bad, because he's already seen you at the worst part. He's the one you know will never hurt you, because he strives to be conscious and aware of even the slightest pangs. He's the one who smiles the sweetest smile you've ever seen, and stares at you like you are the moon and the stars and the universe. He sees through to your soul to who you used to be, who you wish to remember, who you still are deep inside. Love is selfless, striving to express affection, singing praises and appreciation. Love is laughing, listening, and learning. Love is respect, reciprocation, and remembering. Love is a certain knowing, a particular certainty. Love is letting the wall down, taking a chance, and watching a relationship blossom before your eyes into something so unbelievably surreal and seeming previously unattainable. But it's reality. Your reality. There's a moment, a threshold crossed and there is no more hesitation, no more crushing. It goes from maybe to probably to definitely. You start thinking about the future in terms of years instead of days. You answer every call, every question, every doubt. Thoughts go from 'me' to 'we'. His arms become your safe haven, your deepest desire, your favorite place. It all happens so gradually, and then so quickly. You think - when your head spins but your hands don't shake and when your heart beats faster the closer he is. You know - when you can be you without limitation or when you wonder how you'd live without him. Most of all, you're convinced - when you're in a crowded room full of your best of friends, and yet a look at him has you feeling like you're the only two in the entire world. You know incontrovertibly that he is the absolute one for you. That is all. That is everything. That is true love. Better than the movies, better than sex, better than your sweetest, most magnificent fantasy.
Wait for your everythingÂ
What to do when you just feel blah
1. Accept it; don’t fight it. Trying to understand and fight those heavy painful feelings, will usually weigh you down and drain away your energy.
2. Be nice to yourself. Don’t make things worse by beating yourself
3. Do that one thing that’s nagging on your mind the most. It will help to boost your feelings and release some energy.
4. Think about the little things that help to bring you pleasure – like walking in the sunshine or smelling fresh spring flowers.
5. Remind yourself that this will pass, and something will get better. You just need to hang in there, and wait it out for now.
How To Be In Love With A Masterpiece: When they ask you about art, try to resist spelling her name out and laying every detail of hers down, resist telling them that she’s the embodiment of a map of everything you think is worthwhile. Listen to the sound of her laughter and let it be the only musical masterpiece you want in your ears, let the way your name sounds like coming from in-between her lips be the only background music of your day. Let the way your name sounds like in her mouth be the only symphony you want played on your bad days, and the only melody you need to dance to on the good ones. Let her voice hug your broken pieces into full bricks and build yourself into a building that only knows how to be a home to her. Speak her into syllables, appreciate the way her hand on your arms could calm the thunderstorm panic attacks you get at the thought of losing her. Tell people that she is poetry, that she’s a poem you can never find the last line to because each detail is an ending and a beginning and you don’t want anything but to be lost in between all of that, that you don’t mind spend hours trying to decipher her beauty into words. Turn her into colors; she’s the crimson red flowing through your veins, the black jacket you find most warmth in on the not-so-warm nights, the violet lipstick shade that makes your head spin. When people ask you about her, tell them that when she’s troubled, the sky clouds up into a grey you wish you could stretch your arms far enough to brighten it up. Tell them that when she walks into a coffee shop, she brings in a little more light with her. Tell them that coffee tastes better when you drink it listening to her ranting about things that matter to her, that the way her eyes glint at her favorite songs is the sugar to your coffee. Tell them that she’s a patternless pattern of all the beautiful things you ever had seen projected in front of you, having you smile, having you live just a little more. Talk about her the way you talk about your favorite movie. Scratch that. Talk about her the way you would talk about a movie you can never be sure you completely understand, one that’s so brilliant you wouldn’t mind watching over and over again just to find out its meaning. Talk about her like a painting that changes with each angle you look at it from. Talk about her like the endless piece of art she is, like paint refusing to remain in its bottle so it overflows and explodes out of it. Talk about her the way she deserves to be spoken about; a self-made masterpiece.
itscolorpoetry (via wnq-writers)
How does someone just walk in and become your forever?
Welcome home, darling