Even a worm will turn.

This is reality.

[nightmareofmylife]

I am unable to fit in here, in this world. It is full of chaos, and I'm full of sympathy and sadness.

—P.P

[nightmareofmylife]

I'm empty, so my vessel is loud, but never heard. It is terrifying.

—P.P

[nightmareofmylife]

I often dream of fire, either I'm burning in there or I'm burning everything.

—P.P

[nightmareofmylife]

People ask me of love and I think of you.

You! With the spring feet and summer eyes

A dream of forever in your arms

Which I fantasize.

People ask me of love and I think of you.

You! With the laughter as light as breeze and a canorous melody of your voice

A pleasant sleep after a long night.

People ask me of love and I think of you.

You! With mellifluous whispers in mischievous smile and a stroke of finger behind my ear

A sanctuary of place within here.

People ask me of love and I think of you.

You! With the galaxy you carry, a giant of love holding upon the palms of hand, a gravity to pull and I am a supernova, ready to explode

In the last moment brighter, I glowed.

People ask me of love and I think of you.

You! With red lips sultry from ripe plumps, a tan skin glistening against the sun and a noted hint of jasmine

Even Heaven has none.

People ask me of love and I think of you.

You! With the power to change the wind of my shore and a reaching tide under the silver moon,

With each wave you will reach home.

You will reach home. You will reach home.

I am home.

[nightmareofmylife]

Cherry blossoms blooms,

On the road where my heart once beat,

A song of you, singing in glee,

Autumn rushes, with wild wind,

Reminding me of the twig pain of defeat.

[nightmareofmylife]

Oh, the sweet despair of mine,

I'm fading into nothingness,

In the sleepless dawn, in the relentless twilight,

I'm trapped in the labyrinth of solitude

In the reminiscence of warm wintertime.

Oh, the lovely despair of mine,

Words are saccharine

But the venom weighs heavy,

In those lush lips of a prideful lover

Seamless, terrific, ignorance of the visible crack it ruptures.

Oh, the pleasant despair of mine,

Love is Clementine

Asking for that person again and again,

Who sways me gently in moonlight

And left my bruised feet in summertime.

[nightmareofmylife]

The days are wrapped hastily, in a crumpled wrapper of a thin material, shamble as it is. Like life is dependent on that paper-thin material, ready to be cut with a knife of  solitude, with the eyes of the ocean, hands of gold, and the mind of evil.

Perhaps It is me who suffers, in the memory full of laughing faces of others. Under the night of the starless sky, pearls shine in the form of tears, And if the thoughts of yesterday resurfaces, it is calm before a raging storm.

For me, the parallel universe collapses and becomes one, muted and worn,In those, thousands of fork scratches like a scream of a hollow man, whose thoughts are loud in the silence of dawn, And the air whispers, among themselves, of the lost love between the hands that never met and easily torn.

In the aid of myself, I saw that paper-thin material as an anchor, who would hold me, the yesterday's me for the tomorrow's better. For I am a tragedy, in ruin and crumbled, carrying the heart of an evil in a thin material, and face of an angel.

[nightmareofmylife]

The Lost Youth On us

We have been sewing the colors of rainbow on tattered sleeves

Masking uncertainty and hesitancy

Each time when sea water meets shore

Faults of age becomes a lore

The shattered wings of birds

Bleeds for sky

In the needles of earth

For evermore for evermore 

Spring flourish upon us

That brings hope of new dawn

When youth is lost on us

Let the eyes see wonders of world

Let the breath of relief take over us

For, we are tiny specks of dust

In the cosmos that hold us.

[nightmareofmylife]

Desire

That's what I see in your eyes

Drunken in intoxication

They whisper truth

About, how much you want to drink me away

They're alive in the moonless night

Lighting up the darkness caved in me.

You're asking for me to give

And i'm giving away

For, I, am yours to claim,

Heaven on earth is beneath you

Each sigh from your lips

Breathes into me a new life.

Your way of holding and marking me

Makes me see stars

Exploding into my vision

Like a firework in sky.

You're hungry and I, am, thirsty for you,

So, I continue to give

While you continue to take

Till I had nothing to give, till I had been stripped to reality,

That, this ecstasy is for fleeting moment

That when I woke up

You'd have already said your goodbyes.

––P.P

[nightmareofmylife]

This haze of weather 

Reflects my emotions 

Anguish at the beam 

It weeps for me 

For, I, am unable to do so.

Lumps are strongly knotted 

Refused to disentangle themselves 

My lips quivered,

Desperate for the sound 

I had long lost.

Mind bizarre,

Fog clouded heavily

Blocking the sun,

And the darkness drips from eyes

Engulfing me whole

For the better.

--P.P

[nightmareofmylife]

There's A Balance Of Things.

One time I see the world through the lense of poetry. Yellow, pink, velvet and blue flashed before my eyes. I found happiness in the happiness of others. Walking alone through the tree-lined streets does not feel lonely. Listening to the toddler's fascinating dinosaur and fairies stories and getting lost in it. The flowers in the sunflower field swayed joyfully, as if they're dancing with me. Sitting on the grass near the lake, surrounded by pine trees, and watching the sun dip, leaving behind a work of art in purple and red hues. Another time, all I see is, there's a dark, destructive clouds lurking above my head. Thunder raging between them, and they're all set to destroy everything I've built, including myself.

[nightmareofmylife]

Maybe

I keep dreaming of a countryside

Surrounded by lavender field,

Wandering around like a lost soul

Of the sidewalk of lining houses

Admiring the effervescent elders,

With their wrinkled skin, frail knees, shaky hands as they crackle heartily while sipping tea in hushed voices.

I kept walking through the lush green landscape,

Found the children playing at the bay of Lake,

Shouting, running, bickering with those young blood rushing into their veins,

Oblivion to the hurdles of the future.

I reached at the field of lavender at the end.

Watched as the sky became ablaze with color of blossoming cherries.

And in that serenity, with sun dipping low, with breeze tickling the lavandula making it sway, and the Bulbuls singing their hearts out, I let the tears flow freely down my cheeks.

I thought maybe, just maybe, I could find my smile in those elders, and my eagerness in those youths. Or maybe In this lavender field I could find my peace.

However, I awoke, and in the end, it was all a dream.

The cage in which they have kept me does not bothers me anymore,

For I am a prisoner, who'd forgotten how to fly.

Or maybe I'm afraid of happiness that would come from freedom, and I will end up falling just like Icarus.

[nightmareofmylife]

Yesterday I cried over something so trivial,

They said either you choose or you lose,

Perhaps that's what made me cry.

Glitter on my skin littered

Shining brightly under the ferocious sunlight,

Making me look like goddess herself,

However, when I turn around, all I saw was my haunted shadow glaring at me.

Today I was cutting vegetables with my trembling hands,

My sister laughed and said 'how come you still don't know how to cut vegetables?'

The words I wanted to say died on my tongue

I wanted to say 'It's not the vegetables that I didn't know how to cut. It's the knife I do not trust myself with.'

I'd would cut myself and bleed openly

Would admire the scarlet spilled on the floor, on my clothes, on my skin

How lovely.

——P.P

[nightmareofmylife]

The Valley Of Dead Roses

I made the valley of dead roses,

Tried to sniff its fragrance,

It was still there, like the lingering shadow of pain.

The petals turning black and ready to wilt,

Just like my soul,

Leaving me empty, but I could still feel the whirling of chaos.

I made the path of death roses,

Tried to avoid walking there,

The ghost of mine followed me everywhere.

I pretend to be alone in this cold room, admiring the beauty of darkness,

However, the ghost, as feisty as ever said; bleeding on yourself won't help. Learn to accept and try to forgive, or you will be a weak root whose flowers will never grow.

I made the grave of dead roses,

Tried to bury the past,

The monster within me,

Attempting to tear me apart.

Fear is trying to succumb me into oblivion,

Yet, the stem still has the thorn, sharp and keen, and I'll grip onto it until the poison sips through and the venom in me shows.

——P.P

[nightmareofmylife]

Hot coffee

Warm sweater

Burning woods

Smoke scented air

Winter is here.

[nightmareofmylife]

How are you?

With those poisonous lips

Enigmatic presence

Sharp teeth sanking on my skin

Instead of bleeding red

A hot and white Venom

Is leaving from the gash

You'd hurt me

And I'd still say it's your love for me

I had been locked inside of your cold basement for so long

That now, your cold eyes ignites fire in me

I shouldn't feel this way

They keep saying 'it's wrong'

But I'm starving for your hunger

Pacing and anticipating like a hungry lioness in her den

Yet once you wound me enough

You go back

Letting myself heal

So you can return and leave me again in this rue

[nightmareofmylife]

Few days ago, I was feeling calm. My soul was at ease, heart thumping with steady rhythms, mind wiped out from all debris. The air around me has shifted, kissing my cheeks softly, dancing about me, whispering gently as if trying to assure me, everything is going to be alright.

But, I should have known better.

Oh, I should have have known better, it was the serenity before storm taking over.