NileshBabu

Every girl wants me, every guy wants to be me.

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Transcript of Christian Bale’s rant on the set of Terminator Salvation

Transcript of Christian Bale’s rant on the set of Terminator Salvation

BALE: Kick your fucking ass! HURLBUT: Christian, Christian . . . BALE: I want you off the fucking set you prick! HURLBUT: Christian, I’m sorry. BALE: No, don’t just be sorry, think for one fucking second. What the fuck are you doing? Are you professional or not? HURLBUT: Yes I am. BALE: Do I fucking walk around and . . . BRUCE FRANKLIN: Christian, Christian . . . BALE: No, shut the fuck up Bruce!…

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Arab walks into a bar

Arab walks into a bar

An Arab walks into a bar and is about to order a drink when he sees a guy close by wearing a Jewish cap, a prayer shawl/tzitzis and traditional locks of hair.

He doesn’t have to be an Einstein to know that this guy is Jewish. so he shouts over to the bartender loudly enough that everyone can hear, “Drinks for everyone in here, bartender, but not for that Jew over there”.

Soon after the drinks…

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Gandhi vs Gandhi via The A-team

Sgt. Bosco ‘B.A.’ Baracus: [justifying his newly adopted non-violent attitude, he quotes Gandhi] “Victory attained by violence is tantamount to a defeat, for it is momentary.” Col. John ‘Hannibal’ Smith: [answers with his own Gandhi quote] “It is better to be violent, if there is violence in our hearts, than to put on the cloak of nonviolence to cover impotence.” via the A-Team.

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Put your spouse in a room

Put your spouse in a room

Put your wife in a room & lock it. Put your dog in another room & lock it !!! Open both rooms after 2 – 3 hours & see who is Happy to see you, and who will BITE you !

(Readers are advised not to try this at home as these stunts were performed by professionals; who are now!divorced; and living happily with their dog)

2nd stunt experiment performed by trained professionals says…

Put your…

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Why you know this

Why you know this

I know because I must know. It is my purpose. It is the reason I am here. The same reason we are all here

- the keymaker, matrix reloaded.

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Drinking problem

One day a drunk walked into a bar and ordered a gin and tonic. He drank half of it and poured the rest on the bartender. The bartender got angry, grabbed the drunk by the collar, pulled him close to his face, and asked, “Why did you do that?” The drunk said very apologetically, “I am so very sorry sir. Please forgive me. I can’t help it. It’s an illness I can’t get rid of. I am so ashamed of it.…

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Keep an eye on the baby

Keep an eye on the baby

Wifey to me: I’m just stepping away for few minutes, please keep an eye on the baby once in a while, including when she’s crying. Me:huh

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Fat you app

I downloaded an app called fat you on my phone. It works by making you look fat in the picture. To test it, I took a selfie & tried to edit it in the fat you app. The app threw the following error msg, “please lose some weight before using this app; we make you look fat; not obese.” WTF APP?just WTF??

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Are you interested in making $$$$ fast?

Are you interested in making $$$$ fast?

Here’s an incredibly simple way to do it, and there is nothing to buy, no investment to make, no money to lose! Try it now!

Follow this simple procedure: 1) Hold down the shift key. 2) Hit the number 4 key four times fast.

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changing password

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how old are you

how old are you

teacher: Johnny,  how old were you on your last birthday? Johnny: Seven. Teacher: How old will you be on your next birthday? Johnny: Nine. Teacher: That’s impossible. Johnny: No, it isn’t, Teacher. I’m eight today.

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A Man of Few Words

A Man of Few Words

A guy was known among his friends to be very brief and to the point – he really never said too much. One day, a saleswoman knocked on his door and asked to see his wife, so the guy told her that she wasn’t home. “Well,” the woman said, “could I please wait for her?” The man directed her to the drawing room and left her there for more than three hours. After feeling really worried, she called out…

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message delivered

Husband  sent a text to his wife at night, “Hi Honey! I will get late, please try and wash all my dirty clothes and make sure you prepare my favorite dish before I return.” After a while he sent another text, “And I forgot to tell you that I got an increase in my salary at the end of  the  month  I’m  getting  you  a new car.” She text back, “OMG really?” Husband replied, “No I just wanted to make…

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stop fooling around

A guy sitting in a bar is really looking nervous. Every time the door opens he jumps. Every time there is a noise he cringes. The bartender after watching this for an hour finally goes over and asks, “What’s the matter with you?” “Well I received a letter today that said if I didn’t stop fooling around with his wife he was gonna shoot me.” For heaven’s sake, Why don’t you just stop fooling around…

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santa n banta old fat wrinkly

santa n banta old fat wrinkly

Banta noticed that Santa was looking depressed, and asked what was wrong. “Well,” said Santa, “I ran afoul of one of those awkward questions women ask. Now I’m in deep trouble at home.” “What kind of question?” asked Banta. “My wife asked me if I would still love her when she gets old, fat and wrinkly.” “That’s easy,” said Banta. “You just say ‘Of course I will’.” “Yeah,” said Santa, “That’s what…

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