On Illumi and his relationship with Killua
I’ve been meaning to make this post for a while but then I didn’t.
There seem to be two misconceptions about Illumi in the HxH fandom that I’d like to address.
1) That Illumi wants to hurt Killua. It’s not true, but I can see where people are coming from on this one.
2) That Illumi wants to rape/abuse Killua or lusts over him.
First of all, let me say that it’s fine if you ship Killua/Illumi, even if you ship it as non-con. I don’t care what you ship, but please let's acknowledge that in canon we see no indications that Illumi feels anything sexual for Killua.
But Illumi does love Killua. He loves all his family, but Killua seems to be his favorite brother. Let me state two facts:
1) Illumi is 12 years older than Killua. So he was old enough to take care of their three youngest siblings when they were born.
2) Illumi, along with Silva, was in charge of Killua’s training.
From this we can conclude that Illumi probably spent a lot of time with Killua when he was young. He taught him to fight and probably even babysat him and did brotherly stuff together. He actively participated in raising Killua, so his love for him is not only brotherly, but also kind of paternal.
Now, Illumi is also selfish, possessive, overprotective and manipulative (he takes from his mother). He thinks Killua should do as he says, because he honestly believes that he knows what’s best for Killua. He doesn’t want to hurt him. He screws with Killua’s mind because he thinks that’s the best way to keep him from trouble. He chases him and tries to kill/kidnap Alluka because he thinks that’s the best way to protect Killua. He doesn’t care about what Killua wants to do, but what he thinks he should do. And above all he wants to keep him safe.
And all this is because Illumi loves Killua more than anything. It’s stated in canon that he would gladly die to keep the rest of the family safe. Obviously the way he feels about Killua is not the way most people reading this feel about their siblings, but that doesn’t mean it’s not love.
But for what we’ve seen in canon, this love is not sexual. It’s just brotherly love. I’ve never seen any indications that Illumi wants to get on his brother’s pants so please can we stop calling him a creep. He’s very screwed up in the head, but not in that way.
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