Hogfather Sentence Starters
“Getting an education was a bit like a communicable sexual disease. It made you unsuitable for a lot of jobs and then you had the urge to pass it on.”
“Real children do not go hoppity skip unless they are on drugs.”
“Humans need fantasy to be human. To be the place where the falling angel meets the rising ape.”
“Some things are fairly obvious when it’s a seven-foot skeleton with a scythe telling you them”
“There is always time for another last minute”
“Hello, inner child, I’m the inner babysitter!”
“Do I detect a note of unseasonal grumpiness?”
“Susan says, don’t get afraid, get angry.”
“The phrase ‘Someone ought to do something’ is not, by itself, a helpful one.”
“I could be sick on people.”
“My Grandfather is Death.”
“Things just happen. What the hell”
“Oh there has to be something in the stocking that makes noise. Otherwise what is 4:30 A.M. for?”
“Drinks like this tend to get called Traffic Lights or Rainbow’s Revenge or, in places where truth is more highly valued, Hello and Good-Bye, Mr. Brain Cell.”
“That’s about the size of it, master. A good god line, that. Don’t give ’em too much and tell ’em to be happy with it.”
“Some magic is so old, it’s hardly magic anymore.”
“She’d believe in anything if there was a dolly in it for her.”
“Music, landscape gardening, architecture—there was no start to his talents.”
“Old gods do new jobs.”
“Human beings make life so interesting. Do you know, that in a universe so full of wonders, they have managed to invent boredom?”
“You can be excused for just about anything if you are a hero, because no one asks inconvenient questions.”
“You mean sort of fear and awe and not knowing whether to laugh or cry or wet their pants?“
“You were the kind of kid who couldn’t see the difference between throwing rocks at a cat and setting it on fire.”
“I don’t know if you noticed ______, but that was a pune, or play on words.”
“You might very well think that I’d already thought of that, but I couldn’t possibly comment.”
“Now you won’t be around here again, will you? Or we’ll put your head under the blanket. It has fuzzy bunnies on it.”
“That wasn’t as much fun as the one last month. You know, the one when you kicked him in the trousers.”
“Go away I don’t do that stuff anymore.”
“Oh, yes, and um…Ho Ho Ho.”
“What is this? Does it do tricks?”
“It’s a very enemy-friendly spell. Sir.”
“No I’m not! I’m incognito.”
“I just wanna make sure I’ve got this clear. You think your grandfather is Death and you think he’s acting strange.”
“What good is a god that gives you everything you want?”
“Be careful, ____________! What you have there may represent pure sobriety.”
“Ye gods, there’s a girl out here with a poker!”
“I AM last minute stuff.”
“Never say die, master. That’s our motto.”
“I’m the Oh God of Hangovers.”
