nick [after calling harry]: i called a few famous people that i wanted to work with and admired but i simply cant stand, so i called them and said "lets do this over video call instead of face to face." because i love them. but i hate them as well.
sorry one last thing and i know this is a complete oxymoron to everything i've just said kinda but. fucking dying to know the drama details of the lewis lottie lou caroline mollie sam caroline's family of it all. but i'm okay with the fact that i know i never will. cos i don't fucking know them and they owe me nothinggggg
okay last thing i'm gonna say about this then i'm gonna shut the fuck up i swear but. the caroline x harry of it all is just. hmmmm. like it's always either she's a pedophile or an abuser or a groomer etc which..... crazy but whatever. or it's people being like 'yeah we know it was a stunt we know it was PR but still caroline was the adult she should've known better' which okay. on some levels and in a normal situations i would agree with u there, but sometimes i think you've got to take into account the sheer fucking absurdity of the situation they were all actually in. but also like. context.
it was a working relationship. they worked together. they met at work, they became friends at work, they knew each other through work. and i know that i, personally, have friends of all ages at work. i'm very close to people who are decades older than me and i'm close to people who are still in their teenage years. take that and add in the fact that both caroline and harry and their relationship was put on display for the entire world to see and inspect and tear apart in the name of headlines and rumours and viewers every week, and then add in the fact that harry was green and new to the industry and probably so far out of his fucking depth for what was to come? then like. you probably would turn to someone who knew the ropes and could hold their own and knew the words to say and things to do and how to smile and take it. like did u all want him to be papped with someone just as young and naive as he was?
anyway i'm bad at articulating thoughts but basically it wouldn't be that crazy to me if harry, who was going through the biggest whirlwind of his life at the time, got suggested to have some romance pr drama or some shit, and instead of dragging someone just as young and naive as he was, he just agreed to doing it with a work friend who knew the industry and could handle the heat and could maybe actually show him the ropes along the way
reading this back this still feels shippy and tinhatty and 'management forced harry!!!' but all i'm trying to say is sometimes the closest and bestest friends u make at work are decades older than you and sometimes when ur just starting out or struggling, they're exactly who you need by ur side to help u learn or to give u a shoulder to cry on or just to show u how to handle shit. and the gross way people talk about harry's relationships with people like caroline and nick etc is just like. have u not ever made friends outside of school before
something to be said about going into the caroline tag even now and still finding the same old hate and argument in every post there but also it's especially fucked up when the posts that are being made are becos people saw the documentary get advertised in articles published by the fucking tabloids–articles that were obviously dramatised and fluffed up with bullshit sources and barely any real information–and yet they're still posting screenshots of them and buying into the scandal and hype and villainifying her. and it's like. okay so we've learnt nothing
documentaries scare me cos they have a narrative of saying 'this is the information the media won't tell you' whilst also being a media platform cashing in on telling you their narrative but also. this caroline one made me fucking cry.
Nick Grimshaw on kindness, queerness and life lessons as a grown-up.
Gay Times Honours Issue 2023
Friendly media mogul Nick Grimshaw, aka Grimmy, has done it all. He’s introduced his parents to Lady Gaga and, recently, even had tea with Harry Styles. Now, however, the former Radio 1 DJ is getting acquainted with something else – growing up.
Getting older, no doubt, is terrifying. Carefree late nights with mates at sticky, flooded gigs are suddenly swapped for questions revolving around major milestones: partners, career, and, of course, kids. Close friends are no longer egging you on to ditch work and hangout or checking in to see if you’ve actually drank water. Instead, you’re trying to squeeze in a meetup between deadlines, dates and an ever-growing to-do list of life admin. And Grimmy is no different. Booze-driven afterparties have morphed into nourishing Sunday roast dinners with Mesh, his fiancé. Girl dinner Quaver packets have matured to conversations – on his glitzy new foodie podcast Dish co-hosted by Michelin-star chef Angela Hartnett – with Miriam Margolyes on how she likes her mashed potatoes.
Having the big four-zero on the radar prompted a new perspective for the presenter. What was once maligned (“I felt like growing older was the end of something or deeply depressing,” Grimshaw admits) has been, mostly, embraced. It’s less coming of age but, rather, coming to age. Still, new digits doesn’t need to mean the fun is over. In fact, just last night, Grimshaw partied late with celebs Jake Shears, Amanda Lepore, Jodie Harsh, and Mutya Buena in Soho. Here in Holborn, however, things are much more mild. Sure, there’s some tasteful framed nude art to our right and Queen’s ‘Bohemian Rhapsody’ crackling over studio speakers but nothing beats a good old-fashioned launch party, or a karaoke b-day bash taking place later this evening in central London.
Nursing a non-alcoholic beer, Grimshaw scoots across a black leather couch, arriving fresh from a photoshoot, something he describes as his “Naomi Campbell moment”. Comfortably clothed in a light-wash denim shirt and distressed jeans, he kicks off the conversation as if reuniting with an old friend. “I've never taken stock before. I'd never sat down and thought about myself, ever, and I don't think people do,” he says. Since his early twenties, Grimshaw’s image has been inextricably tied to two things: big names and his infamous towering quiff haircut. At some point, he acknowledges, you will have heard his quick-fire Mancunian comedy soundtracking your early mornings. Whether he was making jokes with Taylor Swift or having the early hours crashed by Charli XCX, the presenter became a known face at the Beeb. In his autobiographical book, Soft Lad, Grimshaw reminisces on the pull the small screen had on him as a young child. Armed with a love for glamour and theatrics, the events he saw on the telly called to a younger Grimshaw who dreamed of moving out of Manchester to take on London.
Onboarding, in 2012, at Radio 1 to cover The Breakfast Show was something the podcaster remembers clearly; “There was a lot of pressure”. His days of spinning songs and connecting with artists over music became more than a vocation, but a specialism. While he does admit, sheepishly, that there were days his hangover ran over into work hours, he’s since taken time to reassess his habits and lifestyle. “When I was 23 I was getting absolutely wasted and doing it like a Geordie Shore night out,” he says. Now, Grimshaw is more conscious of being selectively sober in certain environments. “It can be really hard to go out and connect with people who are drunk and you're not drinking. But, sometimes, you have the best nights ever. I went out last night and went to a really fun party up until 1.30 am and had really good chats with loads of people.” He’s taking stock of the bigger moments around him, particularly ones that bring him closer to friends and family – “It's about learning. It's about growth,” he says earnestly.
At 39, Grimshaw’s longevity has something to do with his candour and bonhomie. The most common compliment doled out about the presenter is his warmth. As a child, he recalls, the label “soft lad” was stuck to him, presenting his sensitivity as something to be ashamed of. But, years later, it’s become something – like his favourite Maison Margiela knit sweaters – that he wears openly. “At school, I always felt on edge that I was going to get beaten up or laughed at. When you've had that, you learn empathy and you think about how people might feel or what they're going through,” he explains.
Realisng he was gay, as a child, filled Grimshaw with dread as he feared what it would mean. With limited queer culture references growing up (just Elton John and Lily Savage) his feelings were fully realised, aged 11, when he developed a crush on a poster of England footballer David Beckham pinned up on his bedroom wall. “You know what’s funny, not that I’m doing Miriam Margolyes press, but I saw her yesterday. I'd never met her and I went into her dressing room. Before I could say hello, she pointed and exclaimed: ‘You’re gay!’ and continued with ‘So, my dear, nice to meet you.’ As I got into bed last night, I thought about how that would’ve killed me if I was a teenager, but it was a really lovely bonding moment.”
Though being a presenter and DJ took up most of Grimshaw’s early adolescent years, his move to writing has allowed him the space to trawl through his past years without expectation. From reassessing his comfort with queerness to realising the strength found in the LGBTQIA+ community outside of his town in Greater Manchester, Grimshaw is grateful for the relationships he’s built with those around him. “I learn constantly from the queer community. It’s that notion of being yourself and leaning into yourself which can be hard to do if you're queer, especially if you've had that knocked out of you when you're a kid,” he says. “The community are essential in helping everyone, and me, support one another.”
Soft Lad and Dish capture different versions of Grimshaw; the quirky characteristics of a presenter that couldn’t surface in a music hotbed. In his new roles, the presenter-meets-podcaster chats to hot-shot talent while unravelling stories centred around food, famous friends and frenzied stories. His book is an homage to his parents (“I realised how important they were shaping me – I love them contractually, but also really love them) and to his English and Irish roots. Bookended between stories of queer curiosity and his loathing for football, tales of community and camaraderie at Radio 1 surface. “I loved it when we had a great guest from the queer community. I had great times with Sam Smith, they would be a riot and would really gossip with us when the records were on and tell us stories that we couldn't have on the radio. Troye Sivan was a great time as well,” he recalls.
Another memorable moment was his run-in with an early-era Lady Gaga, in Notting Hill, before she became Mother Monster as we now know her. “I did my first interview with Gaga years ago, for the telly, and it was when she was brand new. ‘Just Dance’ had just come out in America and she was making a bra out of gaffer tape on a dressing room floor,” he says, laughing. “I brought mum and dad along because they were in town so they met her right at the beginning of her career. Ever since then, whenever she'd come onto the radio show, she’d ask about my mum and dad.”
Grimshaw’s stories of famous crossovers are, understandably, endless – even if they’re ones he’s told plenty of times before. Up until recently, he’s remained embroiled in an ecosystem of music promoting a “product” but, now, he feels like his new projects allow for authentic conversations about people and their interests. His mantra, nowadays, is this: “Living in the full, truest form of yourself, without fear and judgement.” For a young Grimshaw, this unbridled queer joy took the form of “glamorous” drag shows where he dressed up as Cher for his family. Today, it’s about cooking in a kitchen packed with too many guests (and remembering to drink water). Turning 40, at one point, felt like a frightening due date. Now it’s a milestone Grimshaw is ready to take on.
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