"Fuck the lights, fuck the tree, fuck everything. Where's the gin?"
"No I'm not wearing that. I will kill you if you put that anywhere near me."
"You know what I want for Christmas? For it to be NOT Christmas."
"If I hear this song one more time there will be blood."
"Yay for you. Glad someone got what they wanted for Christmas."
"No I'm not going to a stupid party."
"The light display is really great this year. Don't be such a downer."
"Ooo. I'm going to be visited by some ghost? Goodie for me."
"Some of us have to work on Christmas."
"I'd rather dig my eyes out with a spoon than visit your family."
"Can't we just stay home and do nothing? I hate people."
"I just want a parking space somewhere in this hemisphere, is that too much to ask?"
"And the 'Woe is me' telethons on TV begin..."
"I don't care what you think, we're getting a tree."
"Merry-effin'-Christmas."
"Some random woman walked up to me, said Jesus loved me and gave me a hug. What the hell was that about?"
"Ho, ho, ho. Where's the beer?"
"Come on. Smile! It's Christmas."
"I'm done with snow and elves and tinsel. I just want to curl up and sleep until after New Years."