“You’re no longer the first thing I think about in the morning, nor the last thing before I go to sleep”
Your face fell, and I knew that then I had broken your heart. It hurts me too, knowing that I had intentionally hurt someone close to me. Your love for me was pure, and I knew that I had broken your trust in me.
i’m sorry, but you’ll thank me.
you’ll thank me from saving you the sorrow of thinking that you weren’t good enough. you’ll thank me from sparing you the pain of being the only one who has feelings. you’ll thank me when the feeling of hatred towards me will be shorter than the feeling of despair that you’ll experience when i tell you that i no longer love you.
“o-okay” you stuttered before looking down. I gulped and looked away to save myself from tears, to try my best to not hug you and comfort you before I could make a mistake of continuing to staying with you despite not loving you anymore.
“I’m so sorry” I whispered and shut my eyes tightly, waiting for a slap or a weak hit on my chest. After waiting for seconds in silence, I opened my eyes slowly, only to see you with your eyes shut tightly and tears falling down your cheeks.
I felt horrible. I feel horrible. ‘I’m sorry, I didn’t cheat on you and its not that you weren’t enough, it was because I let myself drift too far away. I’m sorry my words turned into empty promises.’ I thought to myself.
“i-its okay... i get it” you whimpered while wiping your cheeks and looked up at me with a weak smile. After seeing you this vulnerable, I just know its going to take a long time until you’re gonna let yourself be a crying mess in front of someone again, but if you do, at least its with someone who’ll love you.
I saw how broken your heart was, I feel so sorry, but I knew this was the best for the both of us.
“please. get out please.” you said firmly and turned me around, pushing me towards the door and pushing me out weakly. I knew I could fight you but I knew better and let you drag me out.
It took all of me to not pull you into a hug, it took all of me to stay quiet and all of me to let you shut the door on my face one last time.
My hands were in my pocket while I trailed the sidewalks with my footsteps. I was reminiscing the times when we were still happy, when we were still together, when we were still madly in love with each other.
If I could just turn back time and stopped myself from drifting too far away from you maybe we both still could have been together cuddling on the bed and talking about our future but insead of all that, I had to be a dick and lose my feelings.
I don’t regret breaking up with you though. or at least not yet.
To be honest, I missed the memories more than I miss you right now. I’m no longer sad of the idea of losing you or the thought of not spending the rest of my life with you.
I felt more pain than love when I forced myself to stay with you despite not loving you anymore, being around you no longer made me happy or got me in a better mood. And whenever we stopped talking I felt more at peace instead of longing.
I’m sincerely sorry I fell out of love with you, but at least you won’t have to worry about knowing that. Instead, you can cry yourself to sleep thinking I wasn’t the guy you thought I was.
theartofmadeline
dededos
baratheonpilled
areudirty
titsay
romaincrisis
tangentwithtanner
