Noah Sanderson

Don’t allow yourself to be a victim. Take control of your life. Let go of people who serve you no good. Start doing things to make you happy.

[marcelloandtyler]

"Mmm. I feel unbelievably blessed to have you," Marcello admitted quietly, looking at his boyfriend. "God. You're so stunning. It blows me away constantly."

He nodded. "Yeah," he said softly, feeling a bit guilty as he looked at him. "I'm sorry. I hope... when I'm brave enough to come out, we can-- do that more. I don't want you to feel like you're still pretending."

He smiled. "Yeah," he said. "I-- would be okay being anywhere with you."

[noahsandersonlevicarter]

Levi smiled at Marcello and then shook his head slightly, moving his gaze over his face. "I don't know that I agree with that, but I'm happy if it keeps you here with me," he teased, glancing at him.

He furrowed his brows. "No, I'm sorry. I didn't mean it like it was your fault or something," he said, shaking his head. "I just mean it's a difficulty of being famous. You deserve to have your privacy and not have people even question who you are and who you might be."

"I already feel like you're the important part of the equation," he murmured. "You're the thing that feels like home."

[marcelloandtyler]

"I think fate is... what you make of it," Marcello said, giving him a small smile. "And I think what we have... is perfection."

He nodded. "I think it would be nice," he agreed softly. "More... relaxing, maybe. Somewhere that you're not likely to be recognized as easily, somewhere we don't have to be as hidden."

Marcello smiled. "Yeah," he agreed. He watched Levi softly for a few moments before he picked up his knife and fork, slicing off a small piece of steak and trying it. "So good." He nodded. "But I like that. I'd be open to anywhere, really. I like the idea of new experiences with you."

[noahsandersonlevicarter]

Levi smiled at him and then arched a brow. "That's true. I guess we both could have gotten in the way of this or it could have not worked out if we had done things differently," he said, giving him a warm smile. "But we got lucky."

"I'd like that," he said, shaking his head. "I really just want to be able to go places and hold your hand and not think about what it's going to look like," he murmured, moving his gaze over his face. "I feel like I'm just pretending in a different way now."

He cut into his steak and then took a bite of it, smiling over at him. "It is really good. I knew I could trust you to order," he said, chuckling. "We could even try a couple places. Like do a week a few places if we have more than one we end up interested in, just to see what works and then settle somewhere."

[marcelloandtyler]

Marcello nodded, looking at Levi softly. "I know," he said softly. "It-- was meant to be, I think. We needed each other."

He smiled, looking at Levi. "Would you really want to?" he asked, loving the idea of it. He thought it might be good to do something like that right after tour. The idea of tour ending was a bit sad and scary to think about. So far, this was all they knew, really. While he looked forward to a more normal life, part of Marcello would be happy to get to know that normal life while having a more relaxing travel experience.

"Guess we can be open minded," he said. "Maybe we'll see some places on this tour that we'll want to revisit, somewhere we might want to stay for a long time."

[noahsandersonlevicarter]

Levi met his gaze and then looked at him softly, smiling a little. "I think so too," he said, shaking his head a little. "I never thought fate was a thing until now."

He shrugged a shoulder. "Why not?" He said, smiling at him. "I don't really have roots anywhere. I tend to travel a ton anyway," he said, moving his gaze over Marcello's face. "I wouldn't mind settling down somewhere in Europe for a while," he said, giving him a small smile. "It might be nice. And if you're there, then it will be worth it."

"We can try and check places out on the days we aren't traveling," he said, glancing over at him. He took a sip of his wine, sitting back when their food arrived. He thanked the waiter and then glanced over at Marcello. "Course we don't have to choose somewhere we are traveling to," he said, moving his gaze over him. "But it doesn't hurt to use our time moving around wisely."

[marcelloandtyler]

"Thank you," Marcello said, smiling. "Guess it did get me here." He looked at him softly, his eyes moving over his face.

"Yeah. I-- wonder if while we're off tour and... if you get any stretch of time where you don't have to be somewhere specific," Marcello said, pausing for a moment. "We could maybe stay somewhere... overseas. In Europe. For an extended period."

[noahsandersonlevicarter]

Levi smiled at him and then laughed. "Yes, it did. And thank God it did too," he said quietly, looking across at him softly. "I don't know what I would have done if I hadn't met you. Both in terms of eating well and in terms of my mental health," he said, chuckling. "Who knew you'd be so important to me."

He moved his gaze over his face and then gave him a small smile. "We could," he said softly. "Usually when tour ends, I have a month or so where I have no obligations, but I can also find recording studios in other places, if I need to," he said quietly. "Where would you want to stay?"

[marcelloandtyler]

"Right," Marcello said, giving him a small smile. "Benefitted me, I suppose. I just always enjoyed cooking. Even when I was struggling the most." He shrugged a bit. "You have to be lucky, I think. In fashion in general. Either you get noticed or you don't. And if you're not good at self marketing, it can be hard."

He shook his head. "No, I-- I think I need to? I think I need to prove to myself that I'd be fine without them, you know? Not that I want to abandon them or not see them as often as I can. It's just I was always so afraid to be far away from them for long," he said. "I got a taste of it during Covid and it really shattered my mental health. But that was Covid, and I felt terrified for them, for myself. Being so far away, wondering if I'd ever be able to get home. So it wasn't a good kind of trial run."

[noahsandersonlevicarter]

Levi nodded his head and then smiled a little at him. "I would say it benefited you a lot," he said, chuckling. "It's good you always had something like that to fall back on. It took me a while to find an outlet and I had no idea what I was doing," he said, smiling at him. "Hm. Makes sense, I suppose. That does sound complicated."

He arched a brow at him. "Yeah, I would say a traumatic event like that probably isn't the best way to see if you like something or can handle a situation," he said quietly, giving him a small smile. "But we can definitely give it a shot then together and see how it goes. I just know your family is important so I never want you to feel like you can't change your mind."

[marcelloandtyler]

Marcello nodded. "Yeah, it was nice. I'm glad my parents didn't... discourage the cooking since it was... traditionally seen as a feminine thing. But... They're Italian. I think they just wanted more cooks in the family or something," he teased, smirking. "It did make it easier. I realized I was comfortable and... at home in a kitchen. When I thought about doing fashion for a while... I knew pretty quickly it wasn't for me. I like the design element and the crafting element but not... the uh. Cutthroat side and the promotional and marketing side."

He nodded. "Weirdly, though, I-- do feel a sense of peace. I think I'd be okay. And I think they'd be okay," Marcello said hoenstly. "But it wasn't something I thought I'd be okay with before. Ever. I donno." He scrunched his nose. "I just feel at home with you."

[noahsandersonlevicarter]

Levi laughed at his comment and met his gaze. "Yeah, it could be that," he said, smiling. "Though I suppose cooking is more prevalent in Italian culture in general, probably, since it seems like a big thing." He watched him as he spoke and then chuckled a little, arching a brow. "Is it really that bad in the industry?" He asked, genuinely curious. "I've been in relationships with models, but I feel like that's different than the design side."

He gave him a soft look, feeling warmth spread through him at his words. "I feel at home with you too," He said quietly, shaking his head. "But I don't want you to ever feel like you have to put distance between yourself and your family for any reason."

[marcelloandtyler]

"I didn't realize that was an age old question. Huh. Look at us being philosophical," Marcello teased. "Yeah. I think I gravitated towards cooking naturally. My parents just kind of... encouraged our interests, I guess. Nico was more into typical little boy things. Trucks and dinosaurs, and later he was more into being in the garage with our dad, whereas I wanted play cook sets and was always trying to help my mom in the kitchen. Our sister was more into reading books and studying."

He smirked. "You better not," he murmured.

Marcello shrugged, his eyebrows knitting. "I think we're just so busy that it's hard to... let myself wallow. I think I miss them more when I stay back or you're super busy. Which makes sense. I don't mind missing them, but... I do wonder what I would feel if we settled into somewhere far from them and had a... somewhat normal daily existence that didn't involve long bus rides and exploring new cities and... all that comes with tour."

[noahsandersonlevicarter]

"Nature versus nurture," Levi said, smiling over at him, chuckling. "Yeah, I can see that in you guys, from the little I've seen of each of your siblings," he said quietly, watching him. "I think it's nice your parents paid attention to what you all liked already and just helped you lean into all. I feel like I had a lot of trial and error with trying to find what worked for me and what I liked. Did you find that nurturing that when you were younger made it easier when you were older and following that path?"

He smiled at him and then took a sip from his wine, pressing his foot against his under the table.

He cocked his head to the side as he listened to him speak, nodding his head slightly. "That's a reasonable question," he said, glancing over at him. "I guess there isn't really a way to know until we give it a try," he said, thinking about it. "Or if we take a short vacation after tour is done and see how it feels once it is quiet. It will be a different experience. I know I can never be a replacement or even a stand in for them and I wouldn't want you to feel like you have to pull away from them for some reason."

[marcelloandtyler]

Marcello nodded. "Yeah, of course. I think sometimes we choose what we want to be good at because we have a natural ability or inclination towards it," he said.

"Good. Be as thorough as you can be," Marcello said, looking at him softly. "I don't want you to forget a single thing."

He gave him a soft smile, just looking at him quietly for a few moments. He took him in, just admiring him for a little while. It was so hard not to.

"I know it's good for me. I think it's something I've just... wanted and dreamed about for so long but always felt this obligation to stay in Boston for my family. Not-- because they demand me to. And it's obvious they don't really need me. They're doing fine while I'm... here. On this tour. But I've always just been afraid that I need them."

[noahsandersonlevicarter]

Levi nodded his head and then shrugged a shoulder. "It's like that age old question of whether you like what you're interested in because you're good at it or you're good at it because you're interested in it," he said, laughing. "I guess we'll never really know. But there is something to be said that sometimes you get praised about certain things when you're young and that sticks," he said, cocking his head to the side. "Though no one was praising me for anything," he joked.

He chuckled and then moved his gaze over him. "Mm, well, I don't think I'll have any trouble remembering what I want to do to you," he murmured.

He arched a brow at him, watching him. "Does being on tour help you feel like maybe you don't need them in the same way you thought you did?" He asked, watching him. "Of course you want to see them and spend time with them, but I think that's different than feeling like you can't do anything without them."

[marcelloandtyler]

"I'm sure some people do," Marcello said, giving him a small smile. "You're probably naturally good at singing, but you've probably gotten better... more controlled and... able to belt things out longer and louder with practice."

Marcello cocked a brow. "I'd ask you to share, but I don't know that that is a wise idea," Marcello said. "Maybe when we get back to the hotel."

He smiled as he looked at his boyfriend and shrugged his shoulders, his body warm. "Just... more relaxed. At home. I don't know. I like it here," he said softly.

[noahsandersonlevicarter]

Levi laughed and then shook his head. "Nah, I've never met someone that hasn't had to train to get better," he said, giving him a smile. "They might have some natural talent, but it always needs to be honed." He shrugged a shoulder and then met his gaze. "Sure, yeah. But the same can be said for you. You just need a little polishing."

He smiled at him and then arched a brow. "Alright, when we get back. I'll try and put together a whole list of things I want to do to you," he teased, glancing across at him.

He nodded his head and moved his gaze over his face. "Something to consider then... when we're not bound to be anywhere specific."

[marcelloandtyler]

"Mm, you're spicy," he replied, giving him a teasing grin. "That's usually how you build skills. With time and practice."

Marcello laughed. "That would certainly be a naughty thing for you to do," Marcello murmured.

He watched as Levi took a drink of the wine, his eyes dipping to his throat as his Adam's apple bobbed. He chewed his lower lip and then gave him a shy smile.

"It's nice to be in Europe. I feel better here."

[noahsandersonlevicarter]

Levi laughed at Marcello's comment, arching a brow at him. "Hm, who would have thought," he teased, moving his gaze over him. "And here I thought you just magically become good at things."

He grinned at him, shrugging a shoulder. "Perhaps, though there are plenty of naughtier things going through my head right now," he murmured, watching him intently.

He furrowed his brows at his comment. "Feel better how?"

[marcelloandtyler]

"Good thing you don't have to choose. You're good on both," Marcello said. "Alright. I'll hold you to that," he said.

"I am quite sure," he said, smiling at his boyfriend.

"Mm. That would be scandalous," Marcello said. He smirked and he reached for the glass of wine, taking a tiny sip to get the flavor. "Oh, that's good. Rich and deep." He took another small sip.

[noahsandersonlevicarter]

"You're sweet," Levi said, chuckling. "But that's only because I've been doing it so long. You should have heard me when I first started." He gave him soft look. "You better."

He took in a deep breath, watching him take a sip of wine before he picked up his own glass. "I need to get my mind out of the gutter before I leap this table," he said, taking a drink. "Huh. That is really good," he said, swirling it a bit in the glass. "Shit. Well, that makes me excited for the food at least."

[marcelloandtyler]

"I think both are hot," Marcello said. "I kind of like the idea of busting out an acoustic randomly around a fire, though," he said, laughing a little. "Hm, well, I'd like to see you try. I wouldn't mind being good. It's a skill that... is cool to have. And then maybe I can join you on stage someday," he joked. "Be your backup."

Marcello smiled and rolled his eyes. "You're ridiculous. I'm not even a little sick of you," he promised.

He cocked his brows. "And I'd be on my knees under the tab--" he cut himself off as the waiter walked up suddenly, pouring them their wine and leaving the bottle for them on the table. Marcello smiled, blushing as he looked at Levi.

[noahsandersonlevicarter]

Levi chuckled and then nodded his head. "It's definitely a more portable way of doing music," he said, smiling over at him. "I learned piano first, but if I was to choose, I'd probably go guitar too." He shook his head. "I don't think I'd have to try too hard to make you good," he said, meeting his gaze. "But I can teach you some vocal practices that will make it easier on your voice and let you be on pitch more times than not."

He grinned at that. "You sure about that? I am awfully annoying when I want to be," he joked.

He grunted at Marcello's words, rolling his lips into his mouth to keep himself from saying something while the waiter was there. He waited until he was gone, glancing over at Marcello, meeting his gaze. He chuckled and arched a brow at him. "The rate we're going we'll be lucky if one of us isn't under the table before the night is out," he teased.

[marcelloandtyler]

"I'd love that. You'll definitely have to do all of that when we start writing music and stuff together," Marcello said. "I'm glad you don't find it half bad, but... you're being generous," he said.

He shook his head. "I never find you too much, Levi. I've wanted a relationship that was even... a fraction as good as this has been... for so long. I love... love this relationship becasue I love you exactly as you are."

He smirked. "Basically just... telling you how hot you are and how much I constantly want you."

[noahsandersonlevicarter]

Levi laughed and then met his gaze. "You know, I find piano can also be good for writing music," he said, smiling at him. "But it depends on your preference." He shook his head, amused. "I'm not! You're genuinely good. I could shape you into a professional with some time."

He looked at Marcello softly and then let out a breath. "Alright," he said quietly. "As long as you're sure. I don't want to... make you spend a bunch of time with me and have you get sick of me," he said, laughing.

He arched a brow and then chuckled. "Well, it definitely sounded incredibly hot in Italian," he said, shaking his head. "If we weren't in a restaurant I would have dropped my pants by now."

[marcelloandtyler]

"You're so cute," Marcello said, laughing a little as he looked at Levi. "I donno if that's normal, but I'm forcing you to enjoy the things I enjoy, too. So, it's fair game that you teach me the guitar or how to sing."

Marcello laughed. "No," he said honestly. "Not at all. I'm afraid I'm hogging you when I shouldn't be so much. I'm afraid I'll get you in trouble or be a distraction in a bad way."

He smiled and looked at his boyfriend softly, his face warm, his body hot as he watched him for a few moments.

"Mi fai impazzire. L'attrazione che provo per te è incredibile. A volte perdo la testa… Non riesco a smettere di desiderarti."

[noahsandersonlevicarter]

Levi laughed and then cocked his head to the side. "Well, I can definitely teach you guitar any time you want," he said, smiling over at him. "And teach you to sing, though your voice isn't half bad on its own."

He shook his head. "Don't worry about that. Let me worry about that," he said softly, looking across at him. "Though if I'm being too much, let me know." He didn't want to get into it too much right then, but he'd been told that before so he didn't want to repeat the same mistakes.

He huffed out a breath as he listened to Marcello speak. "I have no idea what you just said, but it sounded really good."

[marcelloandtyler]

"A boon," Marcello repeated, finding Levi adorable. He laughed softly. "Yeah, it's definitely a boon." He nodded. "Well, I'm here to make you do all kinds of things you don't have time for, like read and learn languages and learn to cook."

He nodded. "We do a good job at that," he said. "Honestly, it's not that difficult. I feel like... We're traveling a ton and you're so busy and on the go with practicing and sound checks and workouts, and of course your nightly shows. But... We've been making so much time for one another. I'm worried you're making too much time for me and not enough for other things," he said, half teasing.

"Yeah, that's typically how it goes," he said. "And he's bringing us a bottle of red, so. I have a good feeling it'll be good."

Marcello laughed and nearly choked on his own spit when Levi called him hot, his face warming. "Levi," he said, his lips rolling between his teeth for a moment as he hid his smirk. "You're ridiculous." He nudged his foot with his own under the table.

[noahsandersonlevicarter]

Levi laughed and then arched a brow at him repeating him. "What?" He asked, smiling across at him, shaking his head slightly. "Oh, is that so? That's what you're going to do, huh? You're going to force me to be normal?" He joked.

He moved his gaze over his face, watching him quietly. "Is that your way of telling me I'm smothering you?" He asked, chuckling slightly. "It's hard when I'm excited about someone or something to be overly balanced about everything. I just... really wanna make sure I'm not sacrificing this. I know it would be easy to get caught up in everything happening and I don't... I don't want to neglect what is important."

He grinned at Marcello's reaction, taking a sip from his water, looking across at him innocently. "What?" He asked, chuckling. He pushed his foot back against his gently. "Can't appreciate my boyfriend for all his good qualities?"

[marcelloandtyler]

"It's nice living places where it's more encouraged and just a part of daily life. I guess they have to here. Every country is closer together and they each have their own language," he said, shrugging. "I can help you. We can help each other. If you wanted to learn."

Marcello smiled and looked at his boyfriend softly. "You're so fucking sweet," he murmured. "I love... this. I love our relationship."

He grinned. "I love all wine. But I do like red, yes," he admitted. "White is nice sometimes, too. Usually red pairs best with steak, but you can get a good full-bodied white that is great, too. Depends on the cut."

Marcello did his best to speak French to the waiter, ordering them each a steak cooked medium rare with a rich, green salad and pommes rissolées, a crispy, cubed potato dish. The waiter took their menus and left to retriever their wine and Marcello looked across at Levi.

[noahsandersonlevicarter]

"Yeah, that's true," Levi said, smiling at him. "They are a lot more packed and if you want to travel at all, I'm sure it's a boon to know several languages in case you need them." He gave him a warm look, moving his gaze over his face. "That could be fun," he said, resisting the urge to reach out and touch him. "I do want to learn, it's just hard to get myself to when there's so much going on."

He met his gaze and gave him a soft smile. "I love this too. That's why I want to make sure we prioritize it as much as we can," he murmured.

He smiled at Marcello as he spoke, arching a brow at him. "Mmhmm," he said, just loving to listen to him and to hear what he knew. "I grew up in eating in restaurants because my family never cooked so I've kind of always heard the whole red with steak thing," he said, shrugging. "But I'm not that picky in general. I go off vibes," he said, laughing.

"God, you're so fucking hot when you're competent in something I'm not and just take control," he said, shaking his head. "It makes me want to shove my tongue in your mouth."

[marcelloandtyler]

Marcello laughed softly. "Thank god," he said softly.

"I'm not necessarily good at it, but it's just... polite to try," he said, shrugging, scrunching his nose. "When I lived in Italy during Covid, my cousin had a roommate who was French and she spoke German. My cousins speak French and Spanish, and some speak German. It's just more common there. But we were in a bubble together, so I got to practice a lot. I took DuoLingo, too. But it's been a while since I practiced. I intended to but... Guess now is my chance."

He laughed a little. "Oh, I didn't realize. I mean... I'll take it. I like being wooed." He longed to lean over and kiss him on the lips, but he resisted.

Marcello shrugged. "If that's what you want," he said. "But I wouldn't mind white. I guess we could ask for a recommendation from the waiter."

The waiter came over just then, greeting them in French. Marcello did his best to follow, catching most of it, but it'd been a while. He did his best to ask for a wine recommendation to pair with steak and then ordered a bottle of the waiter's favorite.

"Do you want me to order for you?" Marcello asked Levi quietly as the waiter asked if they were ready, knowing his boyfriend's tastes at this point.

[noahsandersonlevicarter]

Levi smiled at him and listened as he spoke, moving his gaze over his face. "Suppose that is true. I've never considered it. No, that's not true, I have considered it, but I just haven't had the time or the chance to learn anything," he said, giving him a small smile. "Other than when I was in school. I took Spanish for a couple years, but I was never that good at it," he confessed. He moved his gaze over his face, giving him a warm look. "I wonder what it would be like to live somewhere where its more encouraged. But I love listening to you speak other languages."

He chuckled and then met his gaze. "Maybe it's kind of silly for me to do that or say that, but I really genuinely want to give you everything I can," he whispered. "And I want to keep this feeling fresh. I don't want you to feel like you missed out on any phase of this."

"Sure, we could do that. I don't mind white either," he said, shrugging. "I don't know why, but I just kind of assumed you'd prefer red," he said, laughing.

He nodded his head. "Please, yes," he said, handing the menu over to Marcello. He felt like he could probably point at anything on the menu and be happy, but he trusted Marcello and his taste at this point, since he fed him all the time.