spiderhead / *

you sleep coiled ; tightly wound. hands are fists beneath pillows, clenched above cotton sheets. you are at WAR—                         even in your dreams .

[noblehigh]

hello, i’m katie ( or kaitlyn, or whatever you feel like ), and i had been roleplaying on tumblr for 10+ years. since finding my way back to the Lord, i have decided it’s something i can no longer do. but it was a fun run, i met SO many amazing people, and i love you all!

INDIE OC  //  EST. 2012  //  PERMANENT HIATUS                   written by katie ( 27 ).

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[noblehigh]

hey hey girlie pops it’s me

I am currently 29 weeks pregnant with my second 😅

decided to just stop in, I love you guys 💕

[noblehigh]

I can’t believe it actually logged me back in finally

But guess what, y’all? ….. I am pregnant with baby #2

And this time?…. ITS A GIRL!!!!

[noblehigh]

Love you guys! Hope you’re all doing well!! 💕

[noblehigh]

❤️

I hope you’re all doing well. For the first time in my life I’m doing really well, and I can only accredit it to Jesus and how He’s sought after and saved me. So many opportunities have opened up, we have a church community now we’re very involved with, I do technical stuff for them— it’s such a blessing.

Following God and adhering to the Bible is the reason I can never come back to tumblr, unfortunately. But I just wanted to hop on and say how much I love you guys and I hope you’re all doing well!

[noblehigh]

i’m sure it’s pretty obvious i’m not going to be around much anymore, except for a few replies here and there. i’m starting this new chapter in my life, and it involves not being here. but i love you guys <3

[messiahrisen]

Murphy sinks to the ground, feeling DEFEATED. He casts a long look at Brian, wonders what this guy must be smoking to actually want to follow him this far, and slumps his shoulders.

"It's just...it's freaking useless," he mutters. He stares out at the great abyss, shaking his head. "There's no point. I couldn't be there for her. She's gonna just...HATE me."

The self-pity trip isn't going to take him very far. If Roberta were here, she'd slap some sense right into him without hesitation. Maybe that's exactly what Murphy needs.

[noblehigh]

there's a lot of things that brian is an asshole about, but this? this isn't one of those. this comes as near and dear to his heart as it can be, and he won't leave murphy hanging. additionally, while he loves warren and the others, he has always felt more drawn towards murphy, if not just for their matching chaotic temperaments.

no judgement here, no scrutiny. lips purse in thought, and he moves to sit on the edge of the cliff; his gun hangs by the strap from his shoulder, resting in the grass. " i don't think she hates you, why would she? she might hate you if you don't try to find 'er. " but he feels like he needs to say more, he needs to.. give. something to help murphy relate, to help him understand. " i had a son.. shit got kind of crazy towards the beginnin' and.. shit just happened. but if i just lost 'im, i'd do anythin' to find 'im. "

[noblehigh]

I’m never ordering from Amazon again because, yet again, i ordered some shit that i need, it was supposed to come today, and then i go on and see a payment revision is needed and now we obviously don’t have the money so 🙃🙃

[petitsdieu]

"No. I said we can't go back to when we were." They were so young when they met. She offers elucidation to his interpretation. He has a skill of plucking the worst of her words and sharpening them further. She can do the same.

He didn't like 'fantasy', she didn't like it either when he threw it first. She makes no attempt to remedy this one. Let him digest it later when he ruminates over this dispute.

Her sigh comes heavy and graveled. Palming over her face, as her blood boils, and her frustrations hit her where she's most uneasy and unbudging. She wants him on his knees apologizing for starting this — she can not see how it begun, how her words to put a foot down on her morals could spin into this ugly, ugly bickering.

Why do they do this? (did their relationship not start like this? when they hitched together to get by and somehow grew to like each other's bodies, then beyond? fuck, she can't remember...)

She recalls his loss. Feels god-awful and icky to let that slip. She'll never know that pain. She can only guess at it. But he'll never know what it's like to be in this world as a woman.

There's a bitter pain in the back of her nose. It spreads up to her eyes and her brain. Taking his presence away feels more like punishment than duty.

"Brian... please, can we just stop for a moment."

[noblehigh]

whereas this was a common occurrence when they first met, it's long since become history; seldom is there a blow-up of this proportion. but words have been flung, cuts have been made; as though it wasn't hard enough to allow himself the realization of how opposite they stand on this matter ( he often tries to just push it away, distract himself elsewhere; he knows he loves her, that's what's often at the forefront of his mind ), now all of their shrapnel has settled and he's left aching that she could forget about his son.

truly, it can't be put on her; she never knew his son, and that was but a blurb of conversation in their years of a blossomed relationship. he goes to sit at the kitchen island, resting an arm on the countertop with the other hand holding his left cheek. " we did stop. i jus' told you i have to go out tomorrow. "

is this what it feels like in a normal world? the beginning of an end? the domestic dispute that eventually leads to a broken home? he was so young when it started, he never got to experience it; all that he has to reference is the broken home of his parents, one that should have left him fearful to even attempt to love another.

" it is what it is, hara. you feel one way, i feel another. and we're both stubborn enough that there's no point in tryin' to explain it, or change it-- for either of us. so it's fine. you stay here, be with your people, and i'll go out and.. get shit. we'll just do what we're good at. "

[cosmogenous]

*leaves 'for a smoke' and comes back speckled with blood*

[messiahrisen]

@noblehigh // starter !

Murphy stands on the edge of the cliff, peering down with narrow eyes. He's exhausted, and at this point, the search for his daughter is only feeling more HELPLESS than usual. He's tired. Beyond tired. Tired of not being able to settle down. Tired of not having his family together in one place. He's just...he's fucking sick of it. He's been sick of it for a long time, ever since Murphytown ended up being one, great bust.

"So --" he starts. "You coming with me or what?"

Brian's the only person who didn't kick his ass right to the curb when he left Murphytown behind.

[noblehigh]

sometimes he wonders if it's foolish of him to follow murphy. if everyone else stayed behind, shouldn't he take that as a sign? but he's never been one to follow the crowd, and he's always actually liked murphy-- for the most part. more than all of that, he can sympathize; there was a point in time he had a son, and he would have crossed a million earths to find him ( and he hopes that someone would have helped him, too ).

he joins him at the cliff, arms moving to cross over his chest. " ain't it obvious? " gaze turns from the beautiful view to the man next to him, and he shrugs, " i'm with you, man. we gotta find your girl, yeah? "

[noblehigh]

here for the night-- as well as here. i have a lot of muse for anne over there, so make sure to follow and we can plot!

[visvivathms]

THE TINIEST DETAILS: CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT QUESTIONS

do they drive? if so, do they enjoy driving or do they hate it? or somewhere in between?

if they drive, where is their favorite location to drive to?

if they drive, do they own a vehicle? if so, what make and model?

what bumper stickers do they have on their car?

what paintings and/or posters are on their walls?

what is a song they listen to with the windows rolled down, turned all the way up, on the highway?

is there an artform they've always wanted to try (glassblowing, woodworking, painting, ect) but never have? if so, what about that artform speaks to them?

what time of day do they usually start getting sleepy?

do they catch a second wind? if so, what is their method for catching it (napping, drinking coffee, exercising, ect)?

are they a nap person? if so, how long are their naps? do they set a 20 minute timer and wake up before it? or set no timer and wake up in the middle of the night?

what is the most obscure book they've read?

what is a book that interested them so much they took it with them to the bathroom?

what did the air smell like during their childhood?

what is a core memory from their childhood that they look back on fondly and for comfort?

when was the last time they were held, and truly held, for several minutes? who was it with?

do they meditate? if not, have they ever tried? how did it go?

how many pennies and quarters do they have in their couch?

how dusty is their home? spotless, lived-in, dust bunny haven?

what is their favorite chocolate bar?

do they like their brownies fudgy or cakey? or not at all, and only want the crusts?

whats that one weird food combination that everyone else thinks is gross but they think is delicious?

where do they put their shoes when they come home from a long day?

after a vacation, do they immediately unpack or slowly retrieve items from their suitcase until its empty?

how often do they do self-reflection?

are they more afraid of being alone with themselves or with others?

have they ever had a near death experience? if so, what was it?

out of all the subjects in school, which was their favorite? which one did they excel at?

how many alarms do they have set on their phone? what is their alarm ringtone?

do they fart in front of other people? or do they hide their farts?

do they have to see any specialist doctors? if so, do they have a strong bond with their doctor or do they dislike them?

what is their favorite seasoning?

what is their favorite sauce?

how spicy is spicy for them? (pepper, jalepeno, ghost pepper, ect)

how long do they let the dishes go unwashed?

how much laundry do they accumulate before doing it?

what shampoo, conditioner, cologne/perfume and deodorant do they use?

[noblehigh]

anyway, i obviously have to get brian set up with a fallout verse

[noblehigh]

hello! i am here ( and here ) for a little while!

[petitsdieu]

𝒖𝒏𝒓𝒆𝒂𝒍 𝒖𝒏𝒆𝒂𝒓𝒕𝒉 𝒑𝒓𝒐𝒎𝒑𝒕𝒔 ˗ˏˋ ꒰ 🍊 ꒱ — "i'd block the sun if you want it done."

"You would? Ah—You would." She takes these pieces of peace. They soften the sharp edges of their latest bickering match. She was not meant to fight. It's unavoidable when you've known someone as long as she's known him. The nature of this world feeds it, on an upscale.

The rooftop garden she beloves the most; the mewls and clicking of the Undead can't be heard here. She can pretend they don't exist at all.

She lays to her spine, fingers feeling up the ground. Taste through the tips ( she swears, she swears ). The world spins beautifully. She warm, sun-warm. She pictures the beach behind her eyelids. Almost hear the coo of beach birds.

An extended leg, an ankle as a guide, ushering him to stand and eclipse the sun so it no longer glares in her gaze. Her lids burn the after-images, light smears and disperses.

Gabe's been growing weed on his balcony. She hadn't had it since, maybe before the zombies. Her tolerance is low. Obviously. Even her gaze floats off. Starry-eyed and glistening. Pink tickles her cheeks.

"I'm so..." It's hushed, it's giggled. High, high, high. ( whoops )

"I think I belong to the floor now."

𝒇𝒕. @noblehigh

[noblehigh]

most akin to an ocean, they are. waves come, they go; sometimes they go high, swallowing, but sometimes they're low and soft. at times they roar, crashing and destroying, and other times they simply roll onto the shore, hug it tightly, hush it. because, just like the clockwork of the ocean, their waters have calmed, they are centered.

what once was a daily habit has turned into something that, well.. it doesn't happen too often, but much more than it did the years prior ( god bless gabe for growing those plants ). the bliss he could find warmth in from simply finding it and enjoying it for himself has now quadrupled since she's wanted to share. there's nothing better than being high-- unless it's being high with someone you love.

god, it feels like they haven't laughed like this in ages. he holds the joint between his index and thumb, bringing it to his lips to take a long drag. deep, long inhale. exhale. and he says it. he doesn't know why it comes to mind so specifically, but it's absolutely true. he'd destroy or stop anything and everything if she asked. he is her loyal puppy.

you would? ah-- you would. his head turns, brown eyes now finding her face. is there anything more beautiful? he dares to thank god for bringing this plague upon them because he would have never experienced her love had he not. a smile, sweet and genuine, spreads to his lips, and he reaches a hand up to tuck hair behind her ear. " that's the luckiest fuckin' floor i ever seen, " he drawls, then chuckling, and he turns to his side to press his nose into her shoulder. " do you ever think about runnin' away? you, me, the pups.. on the beach, in a nice little beach house. the only thing we'd have to worry about is hurricanes. "

[noblehigh]

i will be here in a few!