this is not for you

They turned my house into a fucking ingredient household.

secret--songs

all my haters become obedient when I serve them meals made of ingredients

miracle youre a genious

They turned my house into a fucking ingredient household.

i put on yesterday's clothes

and go outside for a change

of pace, the iron chain of

monotony broken for today.

yesterday's clothes or maybe

the day or two before that

unwashed oily hair meets

unwashed dirty stained fabric

my skin's grease, its very own

microbiome, disgusting

my own dirt, grease, and grime is

right at home here in this place

they look upon me and they

pity me. i prefer that

to a lack of care from them

it's nice to be cared about, yeah?

i started getting ready to go outside an hour ago. i am now just getting out the door to get food. this has been an incredible journey, fraught with danger. i am lucky to be alive

getting ready

too tired to lay down

straining to move

body won't bend

exhaustion is rife

in the domain of drowning

an unfortunate fate

turning to stone

a miserable statue sits, half hunched

its eyes display a great frustration

hands splayed in struggle

a hollow display of strife

the humble quail

flies not that far

forever unbothered

lives life then dies

the humble quail

a bird unburdened

no stress, no tests

no worries to be found

this feeling is quite special

not at hawk, falcon, or kestrel

no thoughts to think

no worries to shrink

it's nice, at quail level

#the muse speaks #on energy

give me a break, give me a sign

is it too late, end of the line?

my mind uneased, never at peace

pray for release from stress, envy, grief.

to motion i am always slave

momentum, my untimely grave

never something to be saved

unremembered, not by name

motionless at the speed of thought

atlas' eternal burden

to carry so much in life while

his continually shortens

eternal servant, never mourned

atlas holds up the cosmos forevermore

glutenfreemacncheese

we don't have to be living like this

minty-mori

#derivative work

an outstretched arm, aching need, grasping hand

unchlorinated pool, unclean water

a barren moor, windswept, cold, and empty

all is silent in the halls of the damned

a tree falls silently, without witness

the sun rises and sets without complaint

wild canine bites back at friends and loved ones

blood and sinew between its wicked teeth

sterile clean room, devoid of home and heart

isopropanol fills all my senses

a still beating heart torn and ripped apart

echoes in the halls of the forever damned

whirring of a fan

a cat bathes itself

the crackle of a candle

a fridge roars to life

voices of an empty household

occupancy of one

vocal cords unfold

haven't spoken once

to be alone is divine

adverse effects unimportant

i promise you'll be fine

just make yourself enjoy it

i have 35 messages to respond to. i choose the top three to actually respond to

responded to 27 messages today

#derivative work #for later

desultory-suggestions

If you are feeling good about yourself or situation and then your mood suddenly shifts leaving you feeling insecure, unsure, etc. try to remind yourself that nothing has truly changed but your perception. Your cute outfit did not suddenly become horrid. Your delicious meal did not tranform into a terrible one. Your peers perception of you has not radically transformed over a social misstep. Everything we experience is put through it through our mental filter, and that can convince us that everyone else sees us with the judgement we have for ourselves. Be kind to yourself.

a warm summer day

shouldn't go outside

indoors it will stay

much cooler inside

comfort and peace in

this warm black hoodie

comfort is foreign

never felt fully

it likes the sweater

matches the inside

he hasn't ever

felt so satisfied