Parrot's Personal Blog

They/Them | Asexual | 18 | Tumblr Newbie | ao3 fanfic writer | I post a lot mostly my random thoughts | proud yumeshipper

[noenokimushy]

Listen, I know I'm genderfluid and ace and calling it queer panic or me being queer is technically more accurate but it's not as fun as saying gay

It's so much more fun to say "God I'm gay" then it is to say "God I'm queer"

I know that does match my labels but I do it anyways and I'll keep doing it until the day I die

Anyways, I'm soooooooo gay for Levi Ackerman and Hange Zoe

[noenokimushy]

If I'm going to keep reading sad fanfics and crying then I should probably start drinking more water

[noenokimushy]

Just learned the fanfic I'm writing is a epistolary fic

A fanfic told entirely through correspondence, like letters, but also messages, emails, notes ect. I just think that's cool because I didn't know what I was doing actually had a name

I keep looking at it and thinking it must almost done by now then looking at my outline and realizing how far from the end I am. Genuinely thinking about breaking it into chapters even though I planned to make it a one-shot but I don't know where to begin when it comes to breaking it into chapters. Like would it be a new chapter for every year that passes in the story? Because that's only a couple hundred words per chapter...

[noenokimushy]

Okay but I don't think yall understand how fun it is to write a fic told entirely though letters especially when you remember they have to talk through code and can't outright say things because others might read it

So towing the line between believable code and making sure the readers will be able to understand is challenging especially when I don't know if I'm doing it right

There's also subtle things that can show a relationship or the story progressing, like what name do they call them? How do they sign off? How quickly do they respond? Where are they writing from? How often do they meet up?

I don't have to worry about describing things just keeping in mind what's supposed to be happening and how the characters would convey things in their letters -v-

[noenokimushy]

On a bright happy note that makes me super duper excited my fic reached 101 hits and 16 kudos!

16 people read my fic and liked it enough to give it kudos! >u<

Now if only I had the focus to finish another one or at least a chapter of one of my multi-chapter fics that I have planned....

No seriously I have 9 Google docs worth of unfinished ideas and that not including the one that's just a list of different ideas lmao

[noenokimushy]

Can someone teach me how to be mean? Because tell me why my older brother (by 10 years, he's literally almost 30) is sitting next to me telling me how to play my game that I've been playing just as long as him yet I can't tell him to shut the fuck up

I'm literally so mad rn and he's confused why I hate playing games with him

[noenokimushy]

Love secret codes and stuff in stories. Like gravity falls and the ciphers at the ends of episodes or the one in the journal and book of Bill

Or when people include things for specific reasons like they saw begonias before going somewhere, and begonias are seen as meaning beware of danger. I read a fanfic that did that once it made me so excited

Versions of that feel like a little treat when I spot them lol

Even when I include them in my own writing or stories or drawings

It never fails to make me smile

Though sometimes I'm pretty heavy handed and obvious about it lmao

[lanvasko]

👓

[noenokimushy]

There's so many things I need/want to learn how to write! Maybe I should make a checklist lol

[noenokimushy]

Not sleeping (I still haven't slept I think it's been like 36 hours now since I last felt the sweet sweet comfort of sleep) and crying for like two hours was so worth it! I got a comment and 8 kudos!

Caffeine and sugar are great btw, completely unrelated to the sleep thing

Also unrelated, I'm gonna be sick if I see another cupcake in the next 24 hours

[ldrloversblog]

Even the rumbling wouldn’t be able to keep me away from these two I need them carnally

Hange call me “good girl” next pllllls 🙏🙏🙏

[noenokimushy]

Chugging coffee like it's my lifeline rn

Honestly juggling between randomly posting on here, writing and reading is kinda keeping me awake more then the coffee, keeps me brain active

Thinking about pivoting, forget every half finished fanfic idea I got, instead come up with something complete new because I'd be too powerful if I could focus on things for longer than

Actually I think I just realized I have free will I really can just write whatever i feel like, it doesn't have to be fun unique story it can just a short scene without any major plot or world building

[noenokimushy]

I kinda wanna work on a longer version of Our Ocean of Tear but I also wanna work on my Levi x Reader fic told entire through letters

Ahhhhhhhhhhh

I haven't slept, in so so long... how do other people do this? I usually sleep so much, so easily so long (kinda bragging i guess)

What's fun about the letter fic is that since I'm writing the draft in Google docs I give the reader and Levi different fonts, makes it difficult for me to read but it looks pretty and makes me happy

[noenokimushy]

"I don't cry often" meanwhile several hours later I'm crying from reading a fanfic where I know the character won't die because it's not tagged major character death and yet I'm still crying. I think I gotta just pack it up, I'm a cry baby, I cry a lot, I get sad and feel yucky emotions

I never fell asleep, I just stayed up all night reading. Brilliant, do not recommend, I'm gonna crash in 1-3 hours

[noenokimushy]

An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works

Our Ocean of Tears, Hange Zoë/Reader fic, major character death, please read the tags and warnings before reading the fic, 2248 words 

Warnings: Implied/Referenced Suicide, Suicide, Murder, Grief/Mourning, Angst, Hurt No Comfort, Death, Major character death, References to Depression, Depression, (Technically its only implied), Drowning, Hypnotism, Memory Loss, Angst with a Sad Ending, Sad Ending, 

Summary: Nothing has felt right to Hange since you disappeared six months ago. At least until tonight, when they finally get to see you again, unfortunately it's for the last time.

[noenokimushy]

2046 words, it's so so short, shorter than I wanted my first fanfic to be but it helped me practice writing angst and made me cry for like an hour and a half

But now I need to edit it, so my crying won't be fully stopping anytime soon. I'm sniffling so much it's like I have a cold

Why am I doing this again? Oh right, I had an idea, I wanted to try writing angst and four people just happened to like the post I made that mentioned it's existence

I haven't even thought of a title. I can't just call it Hange sad pining for siren reader, right? I'll think of something, probably, if I stop crying for long enough lol

It's finished, Our Ocean of Tears on ao3 under my same username, please read tags before reading the fic

[noenokimushy]

God I'm a crybaby when it comes to people grieving. I swear if I read/think/write about a character who's missing someone they love, feeling like a part them will never be the same again, like every thing they experience has changed because that one puzzle piece is missing. Like they get coffee and they can't stand to drink it because it feels wrong when not accompanied by the sound of laughter or the tender smile of their other half.

I made myself cry! Dammit! Ahhhhh!!!!! Why did I want to try writing angst when i can't even see what I'm typing now TmT

I'm writing a Hange x Reader oneshot btw, that's what's doing this to me, I'm not sure if it's actually well written because I'm too busy crying! I hate it! I wanna stop crying! Ugh!

(The Hange fic is finished, Our Ocean of Tears on ao3, same username, please read tags b4 reading the fic)