I'm always late for something

Mal. 30. I live in hyperdrive. Bold, brave, badass. I'm humorous & a sweet soul. You'll find me in Southern IN for now🌻

[red-lamb]

[nolongerbulletproof]

My gf @savingjune

We are overdue for a night like this.

[mindinthevoid]

I explained my hurt, and still got hurt, so I learned to stop talking.

[nolongerbulletproof]

Amen

[remanence-of-love]

[nolongerbulletproof]

I stopped drinking because when I start feeling good I start missing you. I don’t think anyone will ever understand and I don’t think I do either. I’m just so glad I’m making better choices now.

[fear-not-beloved]

The deepest things that I have learned in my own life have come from the deepest suffering. And out of the deepest waters and the hottest fires have come the deepest things that I know about God.

We are not adrift in chaos. To me that is the most fortifying, the most stabilizing, the most peace-giving thing that I know about anything in the universe. Every time that things have seemingly fallen apart in my life, I have gone back to those things that do not change. Nothing in the universe can ever change those facts. He loves me. I am not at the mercy of chance.

There have been some hard things in my life, of course, as there have been in yours, and I cannot say to you, I know exactly what you’re going through. But I can say that I know the One who knows. And I’ve come to see that it’s through the deepest suffering that God has taught me the deepest lessons. And if we’ll trust Him for it, we can come through to the unshakable assurance that He’s in charge. He has a loving purpose. And He can transform something terrible into something wonderful. Suffering is never for nothing.

It’s only in the cross that we can begin to harmonize this seeming contradiction between suffering and love.

Elisabeth Elliot, Suffering is Never for Nothing

[juansendizon]

“One day you will heal in such a way that you’d be so glad you chose to stay. Every morning you’ll wake up with the feeling that something good is about to happen to you each and every day. The light coming from the sun won’t be too bright for your once too tired eyes, and the taste of your coffee will remind you that you’re kind of like magic. You’ll learn how to appreciate the simple things in life, like dancing in the kitchen, singing along to a happy song, and loving all the people who inspire you to be strong. You’ll smile at all your mistakes and failures in the past and forgive yourself for the choices you made, especially the ones that are wrong. One day you will heal in such a way that you’d be so glad you chose to stay. Because things will feel simpler and the problems you’ll be facing will be much gentler from all the pain you experienced that made you stronger. You’ll see hope in days when the sun refuses to shine, and you’ll feel comfortable in the wisdom that bad days do pass, and all you have to do when you’re stuck in the middle of the storm is to keep breathing and trust that things will eventually get better. You will get better.”

— Juansen Dizon, You Will Get Better

[savingjune]

@nolongerbulletproof @lavender-shadows

[nolongerbulletproof]

I’m happier now. Healthier now. I’ve gained weight and I hate it but it’s better than being 115 pounds at 30 years old. You ruined my birthday. You ruined anything healthy after you. I met someone before we tried again and I really like him. But I have still shied away from it. I even considered moving out of state for him and his baby girl (we haven’t gotten that far with him and myself yet) but I’ve thought about it.

I don’t get waves anymore of those “soul tie” moments. Sometimes, only once in the last 3 months. But I know my intuition and gut will always be tied to someone who is still in the forefront of my brain. But the thought of you has dwindled so I don’t feel it anymore. I hope Mary’s baby was born healthy. You suck for not being there for the 4th child of yours. I wish I could talk to her and tell her sorry for all the times you lied to her even tho she sucks.

But most of all, I hope you and T are happy. I hope you treat her nicely. And for my sake I hope it works out. And as much as I hope the next phone call I get is you, I wish the same amount that we never meet again.

Love you.

Mal

[nolongerbulletproof]

I’d go back and undo all of it if I could. I’ve lost friendships because of you. Sleep because of you. 15 pounds because of you. Trust in my circle because of you but I haven’t lost myself because of you and I will not make that mistake twice. I will love you forever. But please, please don’t come back. But also don’t be gone forever.

How fucked up is that?

[nolongerbulletproof]

I sure don’t wanna go on like this anymore.

[astrofunkyjunky]

I think we should go back to saying "thot" again, I loved that word

[perfeqt]

“The most painful thing is losing yourself in the process of loving someone too much, and forgetting that you are special too.”

— Ernest Hemingway

[vexheart]

[notfavghost]

Let them leave. Your magic was never meant for the careless.

[theangelsnumbers]

I am learning to walk away from people who don’t appreciate my magic.

Unknown

[nolongerbulletproof]

Yea I don’t wanna do this anymore

[wordx]

I did my part. I hope my absence brings you the peace my love never could.

[nolongerbulletproof]

🫶🏻

[missinyouiskillingme]

“I wish you had stayed.”

— R.R.