NoMoreWideEyes @nomorewideeyes - Tumblr Blog

What is it to be a woman?

Is it the curves of my body and the octave of my voice? Or is it the anger I carry in my heart? It must be part of woman or I wouldn't feel it.

It seems to me that men and women share a heart more similar than they want to admit. If one would look into mine, could they tell that it's a woman's?

#woman #womanhood #poetry #gender identity

It hurts to acknowledge, but I have my moms emotional distance and my dad's anger.

When I look at myself, I see their worst.

I want to hate them, but it's hard when they're just like me.

#poetry #i'm sad

I'm fine for now.

I can pretend that I'm not so desperately lonely that it hurts.

I can pretend that someone out there is waiting for me.

That I am not utterly alone.

Pretending is fine for now.

I'm pretending that it always will be.

#i'm sad #im lonely #im losing it #poetry

When I was 10 I used to live at the psychosomatic unit of a hospital, for an entire year. That was the happiest time and place of my entire life.

Today, I walked past that hospital for the first time in almost 10 years. When I stared at that building and the huge letters at the top, I felt sad in a way I couldn't place. But when I stopped in front of it, I could feel my heart chant. Home. Home. Home.

And that's when I realized with horror that I felt homesick. I haven't been home in 10 years, and I will never be again.

#childhood #poetry #homesick

I feel like there is two people within me, fighting who can ruin me faster

Hold my face in your hands, please tell me I'm real

It's Monday,

I stare out of the car window, seeing the same landscape as when I was 10. When my mom would drop me off at the residential treatment centre every Monday morning.

It's Monday,

We take the same route as when I was 11, and every turn makes me feel younger, like I'm going back there.

It's Monday,

Today is my first therapy appointment, and I'm 10 years old, and I'm 21 years old.

#poetry #thoughts #childhood #therapy

My heart aches with loneliness,

when the sun shines and I see

Love,

In the melody of a singing bird,

In the soft dance of a tree,

In the splash of a river,

Because none of this is real,

When I'm all alone.

I have so much love to offer,

that it's hard to breathe sometimes.

#lonelihood #feeling alone #i'm sad #poem #poetry #love poetry

I was such a sweet kid. It hurts to remember because now I'm just as angry as the people who abused me.

#abuse mention #i am sad #im not mentally stable #childhood

How am I supposed to convince myself that I'm real when I can't see myself in the mirror?

#derealization #depersonalization #i am sad #who am i

It's been years since I stopped hiding my scars, but the pain of wondering whether my mom knows still haunts me.

I assume that she sees and understands the battles I've fought, the scars that bear witness to the struggles I've faced. Yet, at times, her words suggest otherwise.

Does she truly not know? Or is it a purposeful ignorance, a way to avoid confronting the harsh reality of my pain? It hurts to think that the person who should know me best does not truly see me at all.

#sc4rs #mental problems #i'm sad

"How long will I fly out until I listen?

Truth is I'm used to making it up on my own"

Billy Lockett - Wide Eyed

#sad quotes

My body is one of them, but I can't tell which one it is. None seems to fit me.

#depersonalization #i am sad

The lines between reality and illusion blur. Who even am I?

#derealization #depersonalization

Lost in a world that's not my own, I feel like a stranger in my own bones.

#depersonalization #im not mentally stable

"Bend your chest open so I can reach your heart,