I'm not me @nonamesane - Tumblr Blog

My mom doesn't treat me like I'm almost an adult then acts surprised when I can't function like an adult like oh I wonder why

#mysthinkthonks #jiraiblr #jirai boy #like dawg #she won't even let me cut my hair bc idk #i am almost a full grown man wdym #my younger brother (who she treats better and even as if he were the older one) gets to get haircuts regularly #why not me ?#I've never had a professional haircut in my entire life #the only thing close to it is getting my hair trimmed by my grandma #and even still i hated my hair back then #and i hate it now #i hate how i have to take care of it everyday or else it gets matted. i hate that i have to brush it constantly.#i hate how both time consuming and draining it is to brush my hair. i hate how because my hair is long and thick that means i have to grow #it out because they are envious and want my kind of healthy (ig you can call it that) hair so they force me to keep it and take care of it #i hate that they don't see me as equal or an adult #i guess it can't be helped since i physically appear younger. but that isn't my fault. it's not my fault i look younger #and it isn't my fault they couldn't take care of their hair so now they have to take it out on me #and it isn't my fault i was born the wrong sex so now I'm automatically inferior #I'm just as much of a person as you. i swear i am. i don't know how to prove it to you #im a person. i know i am. that's what I'm supposed to be

I keep having these dreams where I go on huge shopping sprees and get everything I want, so I get disappointed when I wake up

#mysyapping #like where'd my new bag go ? and all the art supplies that I'd probably never use ?#all the merchandise of my bf. where did it go ?#oh well i guess

Rewatching the same show for the 7th or so time is actually the best

#mysyapping

I love sleeping but I also hate sleeping

Why do I have the weirdest dreams ?

It would've been fine if they were just weird, but they feel so real and leave me feeling off for the rest of the day

#i typed this with my non dominant hand btw #it hurts #I'm so weak ha #that's why swiping keyboard is the way to go #unrelated but anyway #carry on #mysyapping

I think it's funny how my mom knows I have depression, adhd, struggle with self care and doing literally anything, but still expects and wants me to not be that way

Like I get it, you want me to do more and be more like my brother, okay I get it already

#mysthinkthonks #jiraiblr #jirai boy #im gonna purposefully stop taking my meds over this i swear #its not like im that consistent with them #if i have a seizure you know why HAHA #ok maybe i wont but my spite is really tempting me to #if i were to follow her “advice” and actually do nothing but clean and shit everyday i would actually kill myself #be lucky im even here because i fully well dont have to be #it would be really selfish to my cats to just leave them though so i wont

I should really just rant more on this account rather than just venting all the time, I seem miserable

But that's also because I am miserable to be around so

#mysthinkthonks

Feeling terrible

Expect me to be more annoying than I already am

#mysthinkthonks

angel-pd

how to reach out to moots without being scared ill be beheaded for wanting to be friends no borax no glue

melanqolia

sometimes i wanna look like a pale cold rotting living dead doll

Funny how my cats notice there's something wrong with me before my family does

But I guess I'm always like this, so it's hard to tell

#mysthinkthonks

I did too much physically demanding things today, I will see you in 5 business days

#mysthinkthonks

Even if I get through this, there's always going to be another hell waiting in adulthood

#mysthinkthonks #jiraiblr #jirai boy

My meds lowken don't work but I still have to take them anyway for some reason

#mysthinkthonks

I do not have the energy to argue with a transphobic tiktok commenter holy shit

PLEASE dni if you do not believe trans women are women, trans men are men, think nonbinary people need to pick a side, and think micro labels aren't valid

I've dealt with enough transphobic people in my lifetime, I do not need anymore

#jiraiblr #jirai boy

I JUST JOINED SOMEONE'S VOICE CHAT WITHOUT REALIZING IT'S A CHAT AND NOT JUST WATCHING THEIR STREAM IN GOING TO KILLMYSELF

#mysyapping #jiraiblr #jirai boy #its one of those discord servers that you join for no reason other than why not #“im gonna talk to people in it !” and then i proceed to do absolutely nothing not even check on the chat #FFFUCJXJ IM SO EMBAVRASED #its alright truatteust #as long as they dont vare and they dont talk about it I DONT CATW #CAN YOH TWLL HOW MUCH I DONT VARE

I feel like I've been thinking about sex often, on my mind almost all the time

It's a little annoying

#mysthinkthonks #and boring tbh #it's like i can't think of anything else sometimes #like it's all i can think of #maybe that proves how disgusting i am

I feel like anytime I talk or reply to someone more than a one time thing, they're thinking "ugh, not him again..."

So I try not to talk too much or at all because...

What if I am annoying them ??

#mysyapping #jiraiblr #jirai boy #like i dont wanna upset them...#even though i do desperately want to talk to people more often #it just ends up being way more stressful than it's worth so i just give up most of the time #like aaaaaa im such an idiot not only wasting this persons time but also annoying them at the same time #why can't i just talk like a normal person ? why can't i just be bearable and an enjoyable person to be around ? ☹️#I'd rather someone do the talking for me... or assure me... or at least show in ANY WAY that they actually like spending their time with me #i dont think I'll find someone like that #not if i ever try hard enough. not ever

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I'm not me