not anymore

★ Private & selective Sakunosuke Oda from Bungou Stray Dogs rp blog★. Sideblog to @chijouku tracking: nonecrit

[allbluesanji]

don’t go where i can’t follow

[theholylight-deactivated2021051]

@nonecrit

[your-mind-dances]

— Find someone who makes you realize three things…

[nonecrit]

nullcfied‌:

   ❝ Listen I… I would because you’re a wonderful person okay? But you’re also my best friend. Just— That’s it that’s what I thought. I don’t want to make you uncomfortable with that, don’t think more about it. I think it’s the best for us. ❞ He decided to say but again he was going too serious with that.

He remained quiet, listening to his best friend’s words. Dazai didn’t change, did he? he was always so cautious about his own words when it comes to Oda. The redhead smiled softly and placed a hand onto his head to pet him as he used to in the past.” idiot, I’m okay, don’t worry---we can stop talking about it, I’m sorry for  making you feel awkward about this...” and I would date you too...he thought but didn’t want to say it fearing that Dazai would take it wrong.

[nonecrit]

nullcfied‌:

    ❝ I didn’t say anything! Of course I… I… ❞ lying was something he always did good, but in front of Oda it was very difficult to do that— Looks like he was cornered. ❝ I— don’t know alright? Don’t force me to say this— Please. ❞ 

“ ... “ Oda sighed heavily, he didn’t understand what was wrong to talk about that but... he thought that maybe Dazai was scared that it would be turned against him, in some way so he decided to drop it.” fine, I won’t force you to tell me if that makes you feel uncomfortable. “ he finally said.

[nonecrit]

nullcfied‌:

    ❝ I DIDN’T SAY I WOULD I MEAN, EH. UH. SHIT. ❞ And then he runs because he’s a coward.

He gets himself in front of the detective very fast, knowing Dazai didn’t want to talk about it. He wasn’t going to let him escape. “ No, you aren’t going to escape. Coward. Talk. “ the redhead was frowning lightly, he wanted a real answer. You picked the wrong day to escape from Oda Sakunosuke.

[nonecrit]

He clearly heard what Dazai said about dating him, the question is...would he too?

[nonecrit]

[nonecrit]

@disqvalified

Curious , he notices Dazai being rather anxious about something, or maybe that they want to to ask him something. Oda leans closer to ask them.  " what's wrong? do you want something ...? " of course, he has an idea of what they have in mind.

[nonecrit]

Dazai looks at the redhead sitting and drinking his drink, so he decided to approach him and sit on his lap, hugging him and resting his head on his chest without warning. For Dazai, Odasaku was his personal cushion.

 He stared at the executive in silence, not really minding to see Dazai doing these things. The redhead left the drink onto the table and wrapped both arms around the smaller male. He petted him on the head as he usual did, it almost felt like he was... a cat, for how he nuzzled his head against his hand. Blue eyes blinked in surprise, uh, now Dazai was Oda’s personal domestic kitten? ... he was too big to be a cat but, anyways.

[nonecrit]

nullcfied‌:

   — It was hard to stay like this, so close to him and so insecure. Dazai  was not sure how to feel at that moment. It was strange, different, something he had not felt before. He always thought that he would never be reciprocated and now … Everything his friend said was music to his ears.    He did not joke, he did not lie, he did not cheat. He was being soft, sweet, loving … It seemed like a dream, but it was real. That was real. He had no words to speak back, he was not sure if he could answer the other’s question. He could feel the other’s thumb pass through his lips, which made him blush. Shit, he did not know how to act, but this was what he wanted, right? He loved him.    Calm down— he was serious, he was not kidding, he did not want him to suffer anymore. At that moment he was going to speak, tired of feeling so confused by the situation, he his visible eye wided after the seal between his lips with the redhead. And so, it was done. That is how it went. A simple kiss for the young executive was like feel the effects of his antidepressants, causing him to see life in another way. As if the darkness were slowly dispersing.    He really wanted to cry. Not sadness or pain, but for once, happiness. But he did not, he endured and after hearing that he loved him, hugged him, clung to him, hid his face in the other’s shoulder and remained there for a few seconds, until at last he spoke.

    ❝ … Don’t leave me alone. Don’t go anywhere. Let me stay with you. Please…. Please. ❞

He has never thought that one day he’d see Dazai being so fragile and weak in front of him. However, Oda knew that he was the only person that the young executive will trust his weaknesses and moments of doubts and insecurities. He held him closer to him, bringing a hand upon his soft brown locks of hair and placed his face against his chest.

After so long, Dazai finally could bring himself to cry and let out all those feelings he had inside his chest. He was sure those tears were of happiness, not of sadness, not of fear, he was happy that his feelings were corresponded by the person he loved and admired the most. The former hitman was sure, from the day on, he was going to protect him not matter the cost and do whatever it takes to make him happy, more than he does in this moment.

Oda tried to hush the sobs, by leaving a small trail of kisses over his forehead and face. " it's okay. " he whispered as a lullaby. " I won't leave you alone... I will be always be by your side, forever and ever. " he whispered with a gentle smile, as he brushed off the tears that were coming from the executive's visible eye with his fingers. " I love you, I'll take you home with me, you look really exhausted. " he muttered, letting Dazai clung tighter towards his body. He was thinking to take him to his apartment, Dazai didn't seem able to sleep alone tonight.

[nonecrit]

▓▒ ◌  ╌  ᴛɪᴍᴇ ʜᴀꜱ ʙʀᴏᴜɢʜᴛ yᴏᴜʀ ʜᴇᴀʀᴛ ᴛᴏ ᴍᴇ ╌  ♡ Oda & Dazai ♡ ( nullcfied )

[nonecrit]

nullcfied‌:

   — Well, Dazai had not changed much. He certainly changed his clothes since he was not in Port Mafia, which had grown 11 centimeters and no longer wore his typical bandages on his head. He looked more clear than usual, in fact he could smile more easily.

Dazai also wanted to analyze Oda, but he looked the same except for the change of clothes. But it was normal, Oda was already in his twenties when they worked together, while Dazai had barely reached adulthood.

After the compliments of his old friend, Dazai could not help but laugh and shake his head. More mature? Nah, he was still a mess.

    ❝ Pfft you think? Do I look a handsome adult already? Good, mission accomplished then. ❞ He said and then looked at him again. ❝ Welcome back to Yokohama, Odasaku. We can finally talk together. First of all— How are you? ❞      

He didn’t look exactly the same, there were barely some changes, like for example, he didn’t have beard and he worse lighter clothes. The redhead scanned his friend’s appearance better, Dazai looked brighter, his eyes had light---finally, he was out of the darkness and living in a world Oda wanted for him.

The older man just smiled. Some things don’t change, do they?

“ Yeah, still not enough, you still have a long path forward to call himself like that. “ he was clearly teasing, when he asked how he was doing, Oda shrugged lightly. “ I’m good, a few year out of here gave me the peace I needed to continue living, I could bring myself to try to write.” he replied a bit thoughtful, maybe it was still too early to focus on the novel he’s awaited for so long to write, but he was trying to keep living. " how about you? have you found a new job or are you still slacking off? "

[nonecrit]

oxidizedream‌:

Dazai face softens for a moment, looking at his drink and tapping the ice in it. He’s smiling- it’s small, but radiates warmth. He looks back up, tilting his head and leaning it on his hand. “Yes, Odasaku. I could listen to you talk forever.” He shuts his eyes for a moment, breathing in the smell of alcohol and gunpowder, and then opens them again.

“But, on a less morbid topic…” He quickly moves away from these emotional topics, as he usually does. “How are the kids?”

He hummed softly, not really minding how open up the other could be about what he thought of himself. The redhead blinked and looked at his half empty glass of whisky, he is going to ask for a second round soon...

" they are lively as usual, recently I found out that shinji wanted to know more about all the mafia stuff I do, all of them are curious about what kind of job I do. " he paused and gave a sip to his drink. " I was thinking that someday, when this nightmare ends, to open a restaurant and work on there, they love it when I prepare curry for them, they like it better than the old man's. " taking about them always brought a small smile on his lips, those children were the light of Oda's eyes. It was very unusual to see Oda talking too much, but he always had so many things to talk when it was related to the things or people he loved to protect.

[nonecrit]

hopeful-hugz‌:

Ugh…. Crime was just a thing in this city, wasn’t it. Like a traumatic anime, or something along those lines. How expected of her was it for her to stay in her place in line. To not even seeming glance over at any others doing the same.

It was practically suicide, to most. But she’d seen a man, much taller than her, stand up as well. The robbers didn’t need their eyes trained on him. So why not distract them?

“You guys have been busy, eh? Hey, before ya shoot anyone and shout more, I got a question for ya. You willing to answer it, guys?”

If Oda wanted to make a move, now was the time.

The two guys looked very nervous, very unexperienced on the robbery market. Oda noticed a girl with a very calm composture to ask them a question. “shut up! if ya don’t wanna die, put yer damn hands in the air! This is not a damn game! “one of them shouted as the other tried to get all the cash from the cashier, pointing with his gun to towards their head.

Oda frowned, without a word he quickly approached from behind to the one who was talking with the girl and grabbed one of their arms, twisting the arm he was holding his gun towards his back, making it throw to the ground and earning a loud scream of pain. 

When he feels flawless being activated, predicting the next 5 seconds; he sees the other guy shooting him on the back so he spins with the other guy within his grasp and with his own gun he shot towards one of the adornments of the shops, making something heavy fall into the other robber's head, causing him to drop the gun and fall into the ground.

 The redhead, pointed with his own gun at the guy he was grabbing by his arm and groan in pain." grab the guy in the floor before he gets up, hurry." he says to the girl that was standing a few meters from him.

[nonecrit]

bcautifulworld‌:

“Wish I could help, but I’m not too good with kids. If I gave you my thoughts, I would expect you to do the exact opposite,” Some kids liked to read, right? Osamu hadn’t quite been one of them. It wasn’t until he was older when he finally came to enjoy reading a bit more. “Besides, you know those kids a whole lot better than I do,”

With a shrug, he straightened up up his posture beside the older of the two young men.

“Gonna go inside, then?”

He decided to not make a comment about that, but Oda believed the opposite, that Dazai actually was good with kids, he was just too lazy to work with that. Blue eyes flicked for a moment when he heard his friend ask him if he wanted to go inside. 

“ yeah.  “ after saying that, he stepped onward, passing by from the gate, a ring was heard when they entered and the lady of the bookshop greeted the redhead with a small wave of hand, Oda greeted her with the same motion of hands and he went exactly to the shelf he was looking from outside, to take one the old child novels the shop was selling.

 " Dazai, what's your favorite child story tell? if you have one. " he asked while he was looking from some known titles that the kids would like to read.

[nonecrit]

nullcfied‌:

( @nonecrit​ )

   ❝ What do I do ? What do I do ?! Should I call Chuuya ? Hngg— better not. ❞

   — Dazai was wearing one of his many suits, but they were all the same and he had nothing different. He was without anything new and he wanted to dress well for that night. He had to look more manly than ever ! How would he impress Oda ? Ah — Maybe never. He shook his head and sighed. With that suit more arranged than the mafia uniform, maybe it would be fine. He looked at himself for a moment in the mirror and, after spending about twenty seconds looking at himself, sighed heavily. Oda did not say anything about that the date would be elegant either, they were just going to dine somewhere, that was all. He pouted to himself until he heard someone knocking on the door of his room. He almost jumped— but then looked towards the door.

❝ Odasaku ? Wait a sec ! I’m almost done ! ❞

He arrived earlier than expected, by 10 minutes of the hour they arranged. This is was basically the first time in years Oda would come to pick someone he has, until the past days, as his best friend to their first date. It felt odd, not in a bad sense of the word, he has never imagined this day would come---and he was very happy of that.

The ex assassin stood in front of Dazai's room and knocked the door lightly three times, awaiting for his new lover to open up. He was dressed with white shirt, black suit that was delicated combined with a blue tie . For the first time, Oda shaved his face, using one of the several razors Dazai has gifted to him for the past last two years. It was weird, but he knew how much Dazai wanted him to see him like that so...he wanted to surprise him for the first time in years.

The redhead just waited patiently for the executive to open the door, he wasn’t in hurry and even if he didn’t say that it wasn’t going to be at a fancy restaurant, he wanted to look well dressed.

[nonecrit]

oxidizedream‌:

He touches the rim of the glass, leaning his neck to one side. “It’s nothing interesting. I was sent out to take care of some rogues in the lower ranks.” Dazai’s voice is sing-songy despite his clear disinterest in the very serious topic. “Despite my best efforts, I didn’t manage to die. Not a single one could aim.”

Dazai seems distant for a moment before his usual empty smile appears. “I suppose I wouldn’t have been able to share a drink with Odasaku, had I died today.”

The redhead remained quiet, listening carefully his friend’s story. He nodded, not really surprised of the disappointed of Dazai’s voice when he claims that he once again, avoided death.

“ you can try again, maybe you’ll be lucky next time. “ he decides to answer, knowing that he can’t really stop the other from trying multiple times to commit suicide. Suddenly, he felt very much surprised when he heard the executive say the last comment. He smiled softly, this was the only place he always wanted to come, he always felt relieved when he finds Dazai waiting for him, Oda always gets worried about his safety.  “ that makes you happy? ...I'm glad to see you too, that you always come back here. “ alive.