5 + (-sqrt(1-x^2-(y-abs(x))^2))*cos(30*((1-x^2-(y-abs(x))^2))

Hey hey~ I'm Sora! Sora Kobayashi! I, um, do math, and stuff! I'm pretty good at it! d-(^_^)z If you've got any questions or need help with anything that's got to do with numbers, ask me! I'll literally do your homework for you tbh lol

[noneuclideanlove-blog]

Abyss | Sora + Akira

Scribble, scribble. Scribble. Scribble, scribble.

Sora was writing away considerably furiously in his notebook. He sat with his back resting upon a tree in the wooded area. 

He closed his eyes for a moment. He hadn’t had any coffee today, and was Exhausted.

He appreciated the serene silence of the forest. Nobody there to bug him. Through his closed eyes, he saw…

…The cold, calm, silent abyss before him.

Of course, this serenity was short-lived. He heard someone walking about nearby, and opened his eyes. Can’t afford to let your guard down during a closure. Best to not Dream here anyways, huh?

Sora felt a stab of ice drive through his heart when he saw who it was approaching.

It was Akira.

…He looked back down to his journal, and began scribbling again. Seemed like he hadn’t seen him yet.

“…Akira-san. Hey.” Sora called out. Monotone.

[shsl-timidgardener]

Fresh air always helped him, that’s why he was walking through the woods- something that he always enjoyed. He held Little Foot gently in the crook of one arm.

It wasn’t the same this time. All the thoughts swirling around his head saw to that. He didn’t even register that his name was said until a moment after. Who it was had shot him back into clarity and a stab of pain in his chest when he actually saw.

“…” he didn’t know what to say, honestly. He was happy that  the other was okay. He was worried because of how he looked; tired and empty- A lot like himself. But… The most prominent feeling was hurt- because he left him alone when he said he wouldn’t.

Akira felt the tears welling up, the lump forming in his throat, and the pain scratching at his chest; but he just closed his eyes and looked to the ground, biting his lip to keep any noise from escaping.

“… H-hello…” he was able to force out a greeting, though it was quiet and he wasn’t looking at the blonde. His free hand pushed gently against his chest trying to calm down the ache.

Was Sora expecting anything else from him? He hoped not; he didn’t know what to say to him nor what to do. He quietly stood there with his eyes still shut to try and stop any tears.

So much for a calming walk.

[noneuclideanlove-blog]

Sora didn’t expect to see Akira here. Thus, he didn’t really expect anything from Akira, either. No expectations had been set.

“...Sorry. For leaving. Without telling you. You don’t need to forgive me, and there isn’t... really... anything I can do, to make it better. But I won’t bother you if it hurts to be around me. I understand, after what I did.”

Sora felt like he should be crying, too, but instead there was nothing. No tears, no whimpers, no hiccups. Just the Abyss.

Actually, that’s not true. It wasn’t just the Abyss. Sora felt as if an icicle were wedged into his heart, too. Cold, numb. Like he should be in pain, but he wasn’t.

“You don’t even have to say more to me, if you don’t want to. I’d understand.”

[noneuclideanlove-blog]

“Yeah. How I treated her last trial. And how I treated everyone, after. I still don’t really feel to hot about all of that. Fukai-chan forgave me, but… It doesn’t mean I didn’t do what I did, y’know? I was mean.”

He spoke without too much of a tone. His mask was on, too, which muffled his words very slightly.

Sora wasn’t too surprised to hear what had been going on with Akira. He didn’t really want to think about that, but… It was probably time to.

Sora was glad to hear that Akira had at least spent any amount of time not on his own. He was thankful for Nakano. He wouldn’t doubt that at this point Nak probably has a less than pleasant opinion on Sora himself, but that was Sora’s own fault, of course.

“…I wasn’t really emotionally there. I apologized for how I treated him, we hugged it out a little, then a few days later I just had to leave. If I stayed, I would have just hurt him more, I’m sure.”

God he was being kinda edgy, huh? 

“…If he wants to see me, I’ll find him. But I wouldn’t blame him if he didn’t, ahaha…” He sighed, and shrugged. He may have been smiling bittersweetly underneath his mask. Hard to tell.

“Staying cooped up isn’t too good, but I had to. I was doing math.” That definitely sounded like something. 

“That’s what I’ve been up to, math. I had to repaint my room twice.” He paused. “I guess I should explain. Sometimes, when I’m not doing well, I do math.”

“A lot of math.”

“In my room… on the walls.”

“I kind of go into ‘the zone’ and for hours, and hours, and hours, mindlessly do math on whatever surfaces nearby.” Sora takes out a few pieces of laminated cardstock printer paper. Upon them are pictures of a considerably messy room with writing scrawled ALL OVER the walls. “This… is the product of my work. I’m still trying to figure everything out, but yeah. There’s a lot.”

It sure sounded like a lot. 

“I got some good work done here though. But anyways, if I’d stayed, it wouldn’t have been too pretty. I need to be in my own space when I get like this and the tower isn’t home.”

“…of course, this doesn’t excuse me abandoning Akira-san, of course.”

The last line came with hesitation and discomfort in tone.

[logic-lost-and-found]

((In which Erin remembers they have sprites they can use!! Wow amaze))

Oh so what Sora had done to Fukai and not some other way around… whatever that was. Yajiro has zero idea by this point. It’s been three months after all, hard to hold onto things like that. But he’ll leave it be, he supposed.

“Well, whatever you did, you just gotta learn from your past mistakes, yeah? If you don’t like how you handled something, work on it, figure out strategies to do it better next time, all that!” Pretty good advice regardless of which topic they were talking about.

And well. If Sora was speaking without tone, all the more reason for Yajiro to pick up the slack with his own speech. He hums, thoughtfully, as if he has to think about his answer. He doesn’t, but the sound is pleasant and friendly, so he does it anyways.

“Listen, I’m not gonna lecture you too much or anything since you can’t change what already happened now, but I’ll tell you this anyways for the future. While it’s perfectly fine to need time away or anything else… You should probably try to communicate first.”

“I dunno if I’ve told you, specifically, before, but I legitimately think that communication is THE most important and most genuinely beneficial thing that we have the ability to use. Through whatever means. When you absolutely need to get away right that second or whatever… at least send a message and talk it over through that sometime soon. We have private messaging you know. Well, not during closure, but you had three months with it dude.”

He says it wish a little laugh afterwards to keep it light. Not that he knew if they would both live to try this all again, and not that he would condone FUTURE abandonment either, but you know.

“And… it’s not too late. I know you said ‘if he wants to talk with you’ but. Akira doesn’t exactly strike me as the type to confront people. No offense to him of course, but surely you know your own… boyfriend? Is that what you have?”

Yajiro feels like that’s the impression he had, but can’t actually remember specifically being told. He’s doing his best. Didn’t matter though!! Because… math?

“Math?” Yajiro echoes both Sora and the narration. Thanks. He peaks at the card. Nope. Can’t read that, not even gonna try. He stops peaking and grins again.

“I’m not gonna pretend I’ll know exactly how what you’re doing works, but what’re you trying to solve, exactly?”

Curious curious. He’s actually legitimately interested.

“Oh and yeah, it doesn’t.” Doesn’t excuse it. K then, thanks Yajiro for that.

[noneuclideanlove-blog]

Communication...

Yeah. Communication and physical strength are two of Sora’s silver bullets. 

“...Yeah. What I did was pretty cowardly, I guess.”

He lets out a very deep sigh. 

“Boyfriend. If Akira still wants to be. I’m not so sure it’s right for me to make this decision on my own... I should reap the consequences of my actions, whatever those are.”

Sora was welcoming to the subject shift towards his work.

“Well, back at Karamari, I worked with Professor Kitamura-” Sora cut himself off. God, he hadn’t thought about Kitamura since before this all went down. He felt another nice helping of guilt fall onto his already overflowing plate.

“...Professor Kitamura, an old colleague of mine. I don’t know how much of academia you’re familiar with, but Kobayashi and Kitamura were some very prominent names in the theoretical mathematics field - specifically in physics and geometry.” Sora opens up his math journal, showing a massive, mural sized slurry of equations drawn in chalk in what looks like the quad of a college campus. 

“This was my claim to fame - I won’t get into the details, but I stayed up all night using Karamari’s quad as my canvas solving an equation that other groups of our colleagues had been trying to solve for months. At it’s time, it was an integral bit of information that we needed to move forward with our field. I had all the data that my colleagues had gathered, but making heads or tails of it was... strenuous. Anyways, this specific one was about non-euclidean geometry - that is, geometry that doesn’t conform to flat surfaces. For instance, the most basic fact of this style of geometry is you can legally have a triangle with three ninety degree angles; you can’t have that with regular, euclidean geometry.”

Some mumbo-jumbo jargon there, but it might be simple enough to follow. 

“Anyways. What I’m working towards... Wormholes.”

[noneuclideanlove-blog]

Abyss | Sora + Akira

Scribble, scribble. Scribble. Scribble, scribble.

Sora was writing away considerably furiously in his notebook. He sat with his back resting upon a tree in the wooded area. 

He closed his eyes for a moment. He hadn’t had any coffee today, and was Exhausted.

He appreciated the serene silence of the forest. Nobody there to bug him. Through his closed eyes, he saw...

...The cold, calm, silent abyss before him.

Of course, this serenity was short-lived. He heard someone walking about nearby, and opened his eyes. Can’t afford to let your guard down during a closure. Best to not Dream here anyways, huh?

Sora felt a stab of ice drive through his heart when he saw who it was approaching.

It was Akira.

...He looked back down to his journal, and began scribbling again. Seemed like he hadn’t seen him yet.

“...Akira-san. Hey.” Sora called out. Monotone.

[noneuclideanlove-blog]

“Yeah. How I treated her last trial. And how I treated everyone, after. I still don’t really feel to hot about all of that. Fukai-chan forgave me, but... It doesn’t mean I didn’t do what I did, y’know? I was mean.”

He spoke without too much of a tone. His mask was on, too, which muffled his words very slightly.

Sora wasn’t too surprised to hear what had been going on with Akira. He didn’t really want to think about that, but... It was probably time to.

Sora was glad to hear that Akira had at least spent any amount of time not on his own. He was thankful for Nakano. He wouldn’t doubt that at this point Nak probably has a less than pleasant opinion on Sora himself, but that was Sora’s own fault, of course.

“...I wasn’t really emotionally there. I apologized for how I treated him, we hugged it out a little, then a few days later I just had to leave. If I stayed, I would have just hurt him more, I’m sure.”

God he was being kinda edgy, huh? 

“...If he wants to see me, I’ll find him. But I wouldn’t blame him if he didn’t, ahaha...” He sighed, and shrugged. He may have been smiling bittersweetly underneath his mask. Hard to tell.

“Staying cooped up isn’t too good, but I had to. I was doing math.” That definitely sounded like something. 

“That’s what I’ve been up to, math. I had to repaint my room twice.” He paused. “I guess I should explain. Sometimes, when I’m not doing well, I do math.”

“A lot of math.”

“In my room... on the walls.”

“I kind of go into ‘the zone’ and for hours, and hours, and hours, mindlessly do math on whatever surfaces nearby.” Sora takes out a few pieces of laminated cardstock printer paper. Upon them are pictures of a considerably messy room with writing scrawled ALL OVER the walls. “This... is the product of my work. I’m still trying to figure everything out, but yeah. There’s a lot.”

It sure sounded like a lot. 

“I got some good work done here though. But anyways, if I’d stayed, it wouldn’t have been too pretty. I need to be in my own space when I get like this and the tower isn’t home.”

“...of course, this doesn’t excuse me abandoning Akira-san, of course.”

The last line came with hesitation and discomfort in tone.

[noneuclideanlove-blog]

Rays of Light | Sora + Yumemi

It was a long couple of months. Sora had hardly been seen hide or hair. He left without a single trace, telling nobody he was going off the grid for a little while. Not even Akira.

He had only come back because, due to the closure, he had no other choice. He didn’t fancy the idea of being so close to Mt. Fuji... Mt. Fuji was very close to the mansion that Charlotte had lived in. He didn’t really love the idea of being around here.

He spent most of the day thinking about Math stuff. It was really all he could do. He much would have preferred to be back at home, with the bulk of his work. 

He needed SOMETHING to take his mind off of everything... So, he decided to watch Miku. He always loved Miku. Who didn’t?

He arrived to one of Miku’s hourly performances, and sat himself into the audience area. He tried to allow himself to focus on the music, but it didn’t work too well. He sighed.

He took out his math journal and started scrawling about inside of it, unaware that someone else had come to The Miku Zone too.

[logic-lost-and-found]

Sorta and Yorji visit the RVs | Sora + Yajiro | Closure 4

@noneuclideanlove

Welp, they sure were back at it again for another closer now, after three entire months… Long time, really, but now that it was over it still felt like it went by way too fast anyways. That was usually how looking back on things worked. A paradox if both long and spaced out memories of reality coupled with the condensed version of individual events and gained information snipped out as highlights. It was more digestible and manageable that way anyways, so Yajiro’s wouldn’t complain.

It was interesting that this closure was taking place at a campground though. He had just spent the majority of closure with Fukau, traveling around and doing some camping themselves. He wasn’t about to complain about where they were not. Well, he thinks that it’s hardly ever been the location that’s the problem, as far as he can remember. It’s the motive that gets people to actually go for it. And what a predicament this motive is.

There was something of a moral dilemma to it, which he did find interesting. There was both the question of if these people were actually dying (as he was sure that Boufana COULD fake it even if she wasn’t, what with technology these days), and the question of the fact that these were strangers to them. While hypothetically he knows that no one (or, well, hopefully not most people anyways) would condon mass murders (or murder at all, really, but that was another part of this current problem), there was the fact that actively ending the motive would require being active, not just saying that they are opposed. And that action would end at least one other life of a person they new far better.

But philosophical dilemma’s were for a different (though admittedly only slightly later) time.

NOW, he was wandering around the new closure area, specifically the RV park per the moment, long abandoned by those who had camped here prior. That… was interesting too, in a way. What had happened to the people who’s RVs these were? As Yajiro wanders lost in thought, he almost doesn’t see the other real live person in the area with him until they’re almost next to each other anyways.

“Oh, hey!” He blinks, started for only a moment as he’s taken out of his inner thoughts. Name, name, what was their name… Wait, he sorta remembered! There we go, only took an award lapse of a second or two.

“Hiya Sota-kun! Haven’t actually had the chance to talk to you in like, a long time, right?”

He thinks that they probably haven’t anyways. Hell, it’s a miracle that he managed to drag up his name partially from the recesses of his memory after all. Probably because of Fukai’s nicknaming schemes pounding that part in there, now that he’s said it out loud. Soso-tan, and all. Yeah, that was this kid. Sota. Probably. Yeah… he remembered it sounded like Sorta anyways, so that was probably it. He smiles at him. Nailed it.

[noneuclideanlove-blog]

It was a long couple of months. Sora had been away, inexplicably. Nobody, not even Akira, knew where he had disappeared to. He told nobody, vanished in the middle of the night, and had only come back for the closure.

When he saw where the closure would take place, he had briefly (however honestly) considered just becoming a sleepless to avoid going there. Mt. Fuji was extremely close to where Charlotte had lived. He didn’t really want to be forced to think about her.

He was trying to think about his math work, to keep his mind off of things. Most primarily the guilt he felt for abandoning his friends, and his boyfriend... if they could still even be considered dating. Sora wouldn’t blame Akira if he had moved on, or was so upset with Sora for abandoning him that he didn’t want to date any further.

His thought process was interrupted when he had leaned against an RV to sit and think, and very quickly was brought back to Earth by a familiar, kind voice.

“Yajiro-san.” Sora bows, and offers a considerably bleak smile.

His eyes have incredible bags beneath them. He was makeupless and looked as if he hadn’t slept since he went missing.

“It has been a while, yeah. I needed some... me time. After what happened last time, with Fukai-chan.”  He releases a faint, sorrowful chuckle. “By the way, you’re real close. But its Sora, with a ‘ra’ instead of a ‘ta.’” His smile looks empty. In fact, a lot of Sora looks empty.

“Did I miss anything, while I was away? Did anything big happen with anyone, do you know?”

He paused for a brief moment before quietly asking the next question. “...I haven’t seen Akira yet... Is he doing alright?” His voice spoke with a strong force of guilt.

He seemed to be making sure his sleeves covered forearms more thoroughly, but looking closely Yajiro could occasionally see some strange sharpie marks around his wrists. Maybe an equals sign or Greek letter or two?

As a final note, his usual blue fuzzy sweater smelled of coffee. Overwhelmingly.

[noneuclideanlove-blog]

γ Hydri | Sora + Fukai

[noneuclideanlove-blog]

Sora reached out to pet Survey, hoping it would accept. As weird as this was, it was... yeah, it was kind of cute. Sora’s the kind of fella to not think furbies aren’t cute, I guess.

“Hello, Survey-san!” Sora felt a little silly talking to it, but it seemed like the thing to do. “I hope you’re having a great day today!”

Was that courteous enough, for a Furby? He didn’t know the etiquette. 

Anyways, onto the topic of the day...

What a relief!!

That could have went so, soso much worse.

“Gosh, you’re telling me. Emotions are weird... and I’ve always lived with them. You’d think I’d be used to them by now and know how to keep them in check, but no dice. I never really feel at home with them, and I guess that’s normal?” He shrugs.

“Thank you so much for accepting my apology, Fukai-chan. You rock!! And of course I forgive you too. It would be hard for me not to, knowing you.” He offers a pleasant smile. Akira would probably be kind of miffed at Sora for this, but whaddayagonnado. Sora gets Fukai and he appreciates her. She’s refreshing!

[noneuclideanlove-blog]

γ Hydri | Sora + Fukai

[noneuclideanlove-blog]

AH.

The furby... thing. That apparently had sentience.

Well, if Akira could be a robot and Boufana was whatever Boufana was, he wasn’t too weirded out.

“F-Fukai-san, you’re here!”

Sora knew that if Fukai would show up she probably wouldn’t be exactly on time. He closed his math journal and stood up.  

Since the trial he had felt the need to wholeheartedly apologize for how he treated her, but seeing her now... It seemed like she was ok with Sora.

“And Survey(?) too??” Sora hadn’t been properly introduced to Survey yet. There was a tone of unsureness in his voice. Not negativity, just uncertainty.

“Thank you for coming, Fukai-san. I,” he inhaled. “I really wanted to say I’m sorry for how I treated you during the trial. I seriously should not have egged you on like that... Do you really,” he looked to Survey again, while still talking to Fukai, “think I’m still ‘cool?’ To be friends with?”

[noneuclideanlove-blog]

5 + (-sqrt(1 – x^2 – (y-abs(x))^2)) * cos(30*((1 – x^2 – (y-abs(x))^2))), x is from -1 to 1, y is from -1 to 1.5, z is from 1 to 6 | Sora + Akira

[shsl-timidgardener]

noneuclideanlove‌:

Sora was indeed looking back to Akira, at this point. 

“Thank you for trusting me, Akira. I promise you that I will give you every reason to.”

“The easiest way I can put it is, like, what I feel for you is absolutely love. What I feel for Charlotte is existence and purpose. Even without her around, I still- like- her existence is the reason for mine. It’s the biggest thing that drives me onward.” He glanced back to his journal.

“Everything I’ve ever worked for was for her. I can’t just undo that… So I have to keep going. I need to Get Out. For all of us stuck here… and everyone else, too.” There are those words again.

Akira felt his heart flutter still when they had eye contact- even for that small moment. He followed Sora’s gaze when it turned towards the book again.

Get Out. Akira felt himself tense a little at that- why? He wasn’t sure… He wanted to ask what he meant- he really did- he just wasn’t sure if it was his place to…

So, He didn’t.

Instead he just moved his gaze back to the ground, one arm releasing himself to wrap around Little Foot instead. The smaller teen glanced at the other from the corner of his eyes, an almost longing look on his face.

He… He really wanted some contact after all that- but he couldn’t just… say it. Akira may still have minor doubts but… He trusts Sora more than anything.

[noneuclideanlove-blog]

HBody language speaks volumes. 

Sora sat up, stood up, and went to sit next to Akira. Wordlessly, he wrapped one of his arms around Akira’s shoulder. Then, the other. A big nice hug.

“I’m so, so sorry for how I treated you, Akira. I’m sorry.”

Sora glanced to his math journal. He left it open, and visible was literally two pages chock full of indiscernible mathwork. Circled in the middle, however, was a large, fully blackened-in star with a few smaller ones around it. Underneath it was large, boldened letters with an underline:

‘GOAL’

Guess everyone has to doodle during their work now n’ then, huh?

He looked back to Akira, looking the bun right in the eyes.

“I’m so sorry.”

[noneuclideanlove-blog]

5 + (-sqrt(1 – x^2 – (y-abs(x))^2)) * cos(30*((1 – x^2 – (y-abs(x))^2))), x is from -1 to 1, y is from -1 to 1.5, z is from 1 to 6 | Sora + Akira

[shsl-timidgardener]

noneuclideanlove‌:

No dice, huh? Sora hadn’t expected any sixes from this conversation. Talking in detail about his abstract feelings for Charlotte never really got him anywhere with anyone in the past.

“It’s… Very hard to explain. A lot of it has to do with what I’m doing, what I’m working for, and my passion for math all entangled within one other human being. Even without her here, I have to press on. It’s what I’ve spent my entire life doing.”

He sighs. 

“It’s all I know.”

“Maybe that’s an issue. I don’t know. But I don’t feel right otherwise. There’s a… Force, I guess, within me, driving me on. Something I can depend on. It keeps me grounded.” 

This was indeed a very abstract conversation, but Sora was hoping this would help elucidate things for Akira. Being stuck in the dark was never fun.

But knowing the dark you were stuck in, on the other hand, was the next best thing.

Akira continued to hold himself, unsure of how to respond. The closest he felt to anything like that was his… His mother. She encouraged him, was even the reason he started gardening. He saw her doing it when he was little and wanted to do it too.

“…” Akira had tried saying something- of course it barely was loud enough for even himself to hear so with a shaky inhale, he tried again.

“S-Sorry… I… I s-still don’t… un-understand…” He held himself tighter taking a moment to steady his nerves. “… b-but… I… I… t-trust… you…” he paused, looking up towards Sora, to see if he looked back at him. “I… t-trust… wh-what you’re… s-saying a-about… it…”

[noneuclideanlove-blog]

Sora was indeed looking back to Akira, at this point. 

“Thank you for trusting me, Akira. I promise you that I will give you every reason to.”

“The easiest way I can put it is, like, what I feel for you is absolutely love. What I feel for Charlotte is existence and purpose. Even without her around, I still- like- her existence is the reason for mine. It’s the biggest thing that drives me onward.” He glanced back to his journal.

“Everything I’ve ever worked for was for her. I can’t just undo that... So I have to keep going. I need to Get Out. For all of us stuck here... and everyone else, too.” There are those words again.

[noneuclideanlove-blog]

γ Hydri | Sora + Fukai

Deep breaths, Sora, deep breaths. 

You did this girl a lot of harm during the trial. If you hadn’t been such a dick to her, she probably wouldn’t have pulled a knife on your love. 

You did this to yourself, and you need to own up to it.

...Seemed to be a lot of that going on this week for you, huh?

Sora had caught Fukai in the tower earlier and had asked her to come to the Break Room at 14:something... Sora couldn’t remember. 

He was very nervous.

So starting at 13:45, he waited in the break room. He brought his math journal with him, because he really had no clue how long he’d be waiting for Fukai - just that he’d asked her to show up sometime during the next hour. 

He was so nervous when talking to her that he just kind of dipped out immediately after getting the words to come out of his mouth. Didn’t wait for her response.

Hopefully she was actually even showing up???

[noneuclideanlove-blog]

5 + (-sqrt(1 – x^2 – (y-abs(x))^2)) * cos(30*((1 – x^2 – (y-abs(x))^2))), x is from -1 to 1, y is from -1 to 1.5, z is from 1 to 6 | Sora + Akira

[shsl-timidgardener]

noneuclideanlove‌:

Sora let out a deep sigh. 

“Thank you, Akira. So long as you want me around, I’ll continue to keep this promise: I will treat you as best as I am capable. And should you choose to not want me around, I will still keep that promise.”

The sigh was of relief. Sora didn’t want to be away from Akira either; but he wanted to show his resolve to treat Akira how Akira wished to be treated in the future. 

“Let me… Let me try to explain this to you in different terms. What I feel regarding Charlotte. It’s,” 

He paused, looking for a comprehensible way to explain this.

“It’s greater than anything. It’s greater than astronomy, religion, the abyss… It can’t even be called Love anymore. I mean, it doesn’t make sense for it to be called love - until I dragged you and the others to that weird tea place, I hadn’t seen her for, like, a decade or something? But everything I’ve worked for, everything I want… It all culminates around Charlotte. Charlotte is the reason I’ve taken to math. Math is how I know, someday, I’ll see Charlotte again.”

“Even if she’s no longer with us.”

Did. Did that even make sense? To Sora, it did. To anyone else?

Akira’s hands were still over his face when Sora started to speak again. He didn’t have enough time to feel relieved of him staying as he started to talk about Charlotte again.

It sure sounded like love… Akira bit his lip nervously. He shouldn’t say that- it wasn’t right to. If he were honest- he didn’t understand the situation any differently, it still sounded like a love that never stopped; but Sora was convinced it wasn’t, and he wanted to trust him.

His hands moved from his face slowly to wrap around himself, seemingly for comfort. He didn’t know what to say in response, so he just kept quiet, keeping his gaze to his lap.

[noneuclideanlove-blog]

No dice, huh? Sora hadn’t expected any sixes from this conversation. Talking in detail about his abstract feelings for Charlotte never really got him anywhere with anyone in the past.

“It’s... Very hard to explain. A lot of it has to do with what I’m doing, what I’m working for, and my passion for math all entangled within one other human being. Even without her here, I have to press on. It’s what I’ve spent my entire life doing.”

He sighs. 

“It’s all I know.”

“Maybe that’s an issue. I don’t know. But I don’t feel right otherwise. There’s a... Force, I guess, within me, driving me on. Something I can depend on. It keeps me grounded.” 

This was indeed a very abstract conversation, but Sora was hoping this would help elucidate things for Akira. Being stuck in the dark was never fun.

But knowing the dark you were stuck in, on the other hand, was the next best thing.

[noneuclideanlove-blog]

5 + (-sqrt(1 – x^2 – (y-abs(x))^2)) * cos(30*((1 – x^2 – (y-abs(x))^2))), x is from -1 to 1, y is from -1 to 1.5, z is from 1 to 6 | Sora + Akira

[shsl-timidgardener]

noneuclideanlove‌:

“I don’t think anyone could really understand what I mean, so don’t fret it. Nobody has before, either.”

Could Sora do that? Prior to this trial, he thought he’d done a pretty ok job. But one slip up can be the end of everything, in a situation like this.

“Akira! I do love you! I know I can’t do anything to take back how I treated you this trial, but please, trust me, I care about you with my whole-” 

But did he?

He couldn’t lie again. There was only one thing he cared about with his WHOLE being. 

“…I care about you more than I care about almost anything else. And I will show it.”

He pressed his hand against one of his eyes.

“Even if the best way I can show you I care is by leaving you alone, I can show it. I won’t leave you unless you want me to, but I’m prepared to do the right thing and the right thing is what you want.”

“After how I’ve treated you, I wouldn’t blame you for wanting time away from me. I will give you every bit of respect I have by honoring that, if that’s what you want.”

His words spoke with honor, but his facial expression spoke of wanting nothing more than the chance at a second chance.

That pause had made Akira freeze for a moment- Sora’s hesitation about how he much he cared. It wasn’t long until Sora continued, one of his hands had started to play with Little Foot’s ear again- though he stopped one he registered what exactly he said.

He looked back up towards the other teen- a somewhat scared expression. Leave? Akira shook his head a couple times. He didn’t want him to leave…! That would be worse.

“N-N…!” Breath. Relax first. A hand pressed to his chest as he thought that to himself. “N-N… nnn…” A disgruntled noise followed his second attempt at speaking- The hell was making this so hard? Maybe because you didn’t relax first.

A quiet and slightly annoyed sigh escaped him as he covered his face with his hands but shook his head a few times again. Hopefully Sora could tell what he meant. If not… Well let’s just hope he does.

[noneuclideanlove-blog]

Sora let out a deep sigh. 

“Thank you, Akira. So long as you want me around, I’ll continue to keep this promise: I will treat you as best as I am capable. And should you choose to not want me around, I will still keep that promise.”

The sigh was of relief. Sora didn’t want to be away from Akira either; but he wanted to show his resolve to treat Akira how Akira wished to be treated in the future. 

“Let me... Let me try to explain this to you in different terms. What I feel regarding Charlotte. It’s,” 

He paused, looking for a comprehensible way to explain this.

“It’s greater than anything. It’s greater than astronomy, religion, the abyss... It can’t even be called Love anymore. I mean, it doesn’t make sense for it to be called love - until I dragged you and the others to that weird tea place, I hadn’t seen her for, like, a decade or something? But everything I’ve worked for, everything I want... It all culminates around Charlotte. Charlotte is the reason I’ve taken to math. Math is how I know, someday, I’ll see Charlotte again.”

“Even if she’s no longer with us.”

Did. Did that even make sense? To Sora, it did. To anyone else?

[noneuclideanlove-blog]

5 + (-sqrt(1 – x^2 – (y-abs(x))^2)) * cos(30*((1 – x^2 – (y-abs(x))^2))), x is from -1 to 1, y is from -1 to 1.5, z is from 1 to 6 | Sora + Akira

[shsl-timidgardener]

noneuclideanlove‌:

Sora hadn’t expected Akira to say a lot after the impact event. Sora didn’t really deserve to be spoken to.

Yet he continued anyways.

“I promise, Akira, that I mean it with every atom, every quark, every string of my being when I say I love you. I mean it, I really, truly, honestly mean it.”

He paused. The space of silence was, again, harmful.

Nothing.

Will ever.

Mean as much to me.

As Charlotte.

“…But Charlotte. What I feel for Charlotte… whether she’s alive or not… goes beyond love.”

He looks at his math journal, then back to the floor.

“Charlotte. She gives me,”

He paused once more.

“Purpose.”

“Charlotte is the reason I’m here. It doesn’t matter whether or not she’s alive. Charlotte…” He, again, lets his gaze fall upon his math journal before he musters the resolve to look at Akira.

“…Is what I was meant for. Is why I keep working. Is the reason I’m here. She’s the reason I want to-”

Sora looked pale. He looked as if any moment, his soul could leave his body to be reclaimed by the Heavens.

He cut himself off from his own dialogue, and re-opened his math journal. Quietly, almost to himself, but to Akira as well, he muttered:

“…The reason I need to Get Out.”

Akira is able to listen to Sora through the hazy fog of his own emotions swirling around his head. He both believed him… but couldn’t help but doubt his words. A pang of guilt hit him because of this.

Purpose…? Meant for…? Sora had continued to speak but honestly Akira couldn’t follow what he meant. Surprisingly, his own curiosity and confusion had slowly started to take over- though he was still very upset- his tears went from a waterfall to a trickle.

He cautiously moved his hands from his eyes and looked towards Sora, a mix of his confusion, curiosity, and worry showing on his tear covered face. He wanted to ask what he meant- get out of what? This situation? That seemed like the obvious answer.

Akira bit his lip nervously, quietly debating on if he should say anything about that. It wasn’t his place to ask about that, was it?

“I…” his voice was quiet and a little hoarse from his current state, but he swallowed hard and forced himself to continue. “I… d-don’t… u-underst-stand what… y-you m-mean… b-but… I… I… w-won’t… a-a… ask… t-to… be m-more… th-than h-her…” as he spoke he looked back down to his lap. “I… I…. j-just…” he paused.

Was it too selfish to ask this? Even if it’s what he wants… Is it okay for him to?

“W-w-want…” he inhaled shakily. “t-to… f-feel… l-loved… E-even j-just… c-ca-red a-about…”

[noneuclideanlove-blog]

“I don’t think anyone could really understand what I mean, so don’t fret it. Nobody has before, either.”

Could Sora do that? Prior to this trial, he thought he’d done a pretty ok job. But one slip up can be the end of everything, in a situation like this.

“Akira! I do love you! I know I can’t do anything to take back how I treated you this trial, but please, trust me, I care about you with my whole-” 

But did he?

He couldn’t lie again. There was only one thing he cared about with his WHOLE being. 

“...I care about you more than I care about almost anything else. And I will show it.”

He pressed his hand against one of his eyes.

“Even if the best way I can show you I care is by leaving you alone, I can show it. I won’t leave you unless you want me to, but I’m prepared to do the right thing and the right thing is what you want.”

“After how I’ve treated you, I wouldn’t blame you for wanting time away from me. I will give you every bit of respect I have by honoring that, if that’s what you want.”

His words spoke with honor, but his facial expression spoke of wanting nothing more than the chance at a second chance.

[noneuclideanlove-blog]

5 + (-sqrt(1 – x^2 – (y-abs(x))^2)) * cos(30*((1 – x^2 – (y-abs(x))^2))), x is from -1 to 1, y is from -1 to 1.5, z is from 1 to 6 | Sora + Akira

[shsl-timidgardener]

noneuclideanlove‌:

“…Right.”

Sora let out a considerable sigh. This was a conversation he was hoping would never have the chance to come up. He said that something ‘felt off,’ but by now he knew exactly what was wrong. He wasn’t an idiot.

The atmosphere was indeed tense. It was the tension equivalent of an uncharacteristically long elevator ride before meeting a man who wants to take your soul, or something.

Sora didn’t want to do this. Sora wanted to have mercy; he wanted only to tell Akira everything he wanted to hear. Frankly, Sora wanted to undo his actions.

But we all want things.

“Let’s start from the beginning, I guess.” It took him a few tries, but he successfully closed his math journal.

“There is nothing I can do to right how I treated you during the trial. There is nothing I could hope to do to right how I’ve done you. I can apologize, but it cannot go back and correct the sins I’ve committed against our bond.”

“There isn’t a way for me to fix things and the fact that after I did a horrendous job standing up for you against Fukai’s absolute madness just makes it worse. I’m not saying all of this to ask for your understanding or pity - I’m stating that I know I’ve done you worse than you deserve.”

Sora. You’re avoiding the question.

“…I’m sorry. I’m sorry is all I can say. For everything. I can promise you that I’ll do a better job at loving you in the future, but what good will that do? We both know, after what we’ve both learned about myself last week, that I’m… I’m untrustworthy.”

Sora. You’re. Avoiding. Akira’s. Question.

“I’m- I’m going to do my best. From here on, if you’re willing to give me another chance. I’m-”

He stopped himself. This was wrong.

There was a long pause of silence. Sora looked down, letting his hair cover his eyes so that he could spare himself from the embarrassment and shame of Akira seeing the truth that lay within them.

Finally, he spoke.

“…No. Your question.”

“I have to be honest with you. I love you, Akira, and that’s why I need to be honest with you. If I’m going to try to fix myself for the future so I never wrong you again like I have, I need to be truthful in everything I can.”

He turned away.

“Nothing,” 

“Will ever.”

“Mean as much to me.”

“As Charlotte.”

His words crashed into the atmosphere like meteoroids from the celestial expanse. The silence in the room after he spoke choked his being like the harsh, abrasive, blinding lights from the heavens above. Sora yearned for the Abyss. He wanted nothing more than an escape.

Akira felt his body tense up as Sora started to speak- his heart speeding up slowly as he continued, apologizing about how he treated him during the trial- about…

Fukai? It was her who… who had the knife to his throat…?

He didn’t have enough time to dwell on that as Sora spoke- He didn’t want him to talk like that- Akira knew he didn’t hurt him intentionally… His chest started to hurt, he moved his hand from Little Foot’s ear and pressed against his chest, the other hand still futilely trying to stop his tears from falling.

His answer- Akira expected that. Nothing would mean as much as a first love… Which is why this hurt him so much. Sora was his.

He swallowed the lump that had again formed in his throat and opened his mouth to speak- to say he understood. That he loved him too. But all that came out was a choked sob.

He instantly shut his mouth- not wanting any more to escape. Both his hands were on his face now- covering the gross mess of tears and snot he was sure his face was becoming.

[noneuclideanlove-blog]

SSora hadn’t expected Akira to say a lot after the impact event. Sora didn’t really deserve to be spoken to.

Yet he continued anyways.

“I promise, Akira, that I mean it with every atom, every quark, every string of my being when I say I love you. I mean it, I really, truly, honestly mean it.”

He paused. The space of silence was, again, harmful.

Nothing.

Will ever.

Mean as much to me.

As Charlotte.

“...But Charlotte. What I feel for Charlotte... whether she’s alive or not... goes beyond love.”

He looks at his math journal, then back to the floor.

“Charlotte. She gives me,”

He paused once more.

“Purpose.”

“Charlotte is the reason I’m here. It doesn’t matter whether or not she’s alive. Charlotte...” He, again, lets his gaze fall upon his math journal before he musters the resolve to look at Akira.

“...Is what I was meant for. Is why I keep working. Is the reason I’m here. She’s the reason I want to-”

Sora looked pale. He looked as if any moment, his soul could leave his body to be reclaimed by the Heavens.

He cut himself off from his own dialogue, and re-opened his math journal. Quietly, almost to himself, but to Akira as well, he muttered:

“...The reason I need to Get Out.”

[noneuclideanlove-blog]

5 + (-sqrt(1 – x^2 – (y-abs(x))^2)) * cos(30*((1 – x^2 – (y-abs(x))^2))), x is from -1 to 1, y is from -1 to 1.5, z is from 1 to 6 | Sora + Akira

[noneuclideanlove-blog]

Akira was sitting quietly on his bed, absentmindedly playing with Little Foot’s ear with one hand. The silence of the room was both comfortable but… tense. Tense because of what happened during the trial. Because of his fear of-

His hand stopped when Sora spoke up- his heart started to race at the fear of what might be coming up. Shakily, he continued to play with Little Foot’s ear, the other hand wrapping around the plush instead of resting on his lap.

It was a few moments after Sora had spoken- Akira wanted to make sure there was nothing else he wanted to say. Like the other in the room, he didn’t look up when he replied- just barely loud enough for him to hear.

“I-it’s…. i-it’s…” the hand not playing with the plush ear clenched tightly in response to his fear. “…. I-I… k-know…. how m-much s-she means t-to you…” He did. “I… I… d-don’t k-know… i-if I…” He felt tears welling up- a few dropping quietly onto the top of Little Foot’s head. “M-mean… th-the.. s-same…”

His voice cracked slightly on the last few words- and he swallowed the lump forming in his throat- bringing up his clenched hand to wipe at his eyes. They were really starting to hurt from all the crying he’s been doing lately…

“...Right.”

Sora let out a considerable sigh. This was a conversation he was hoping would never have the chance to come up. He said that something ‘felt off,’ but by now he knew exactly what was wrong. He wasn’t an idiot.

The atmosphere was indeed tense. It was the tension equivalent of an uncharacteristically long elevator ride before meeting a man who wants to take your soul, or something.

Sora didn’t want to do this. Sora wanted to have mercy; he wanted only to tell Akira everything he wanted to hear. Frankly, Sora wanted to undo his actions.

But we all want things.

“Let’s start from the beginning, I guess.” It took him a few tries, but he successfully closed his math journal.

“There is nothing I can do to right how I treated you during the trial. There is nothing I could hope to do to right how I’ve done you. I can apologize, but it cannot go back and correct the sins I’ve committed against our bond.”

“There isn’t a way for me to fix things and the fact that after I did a horrendous job standing up for you against Fukai’s absolute madness just makes it worse. I’m not saying all of this to ask for your understanding or pity - I’m stating that I know I’ve done you worse than you deserve.”

Sora. You’re avoiding the question.

“...I’m sorry. I’m sorry is all I can say. For everything. I can promise you that I’ll do a better job at loving you in the future, but what good will that do? We both know, after what we’ve both learned about myself last week, that I’m... I’m untrustworthy.”

Sora. You’re. Avoiding. Akira’s. Question.

“I’m- I’m going to do my best. From here on, if you’re willing to give me another chance. I’m-”

He stopped himself. This was wrong.

There was a long pause of silence. Sora looked down, letting his hair cover his eyes so that he could spare himself from the embarrassment and shame of Akira seeing the truth that lay within them.

Finally, he spoke.

“...No. Your question.”

“I have to be honest with you. I love you, Akira, and that’s why I need to be honest with you. If I’m going to try to fix myself for the future so I never wrong you again like I have, I need to be truthful in everything I can.”

He turned away.

“Nothing,” 

“Will ever.”

“Mean as much to me.”

“As Charlotte.”

His words crashed into the atmosphere like meteoroids from the celestial expanse. The silence in the room after he spoke choked his being like the harsh, abrasive, blinding lights from the heavens above. Sora yearned for the Abyss. He wanted nothing more than an escape.

[noneuclideanlove-blog]

5 + (-sqrt(1 – x^2 – (y-abs(x))^2)) * cos(30*((1 – x^2 – (y-abs(x))^2))), x is from -1 to 1, y is from -1 to 1.5, z is from 1 to 6 | Sora + Akira

“Akira, can we talk about something?”

Sora’s words carried a heavy tone; carried a packed emotion of melancholy and regret. The two had both been sitting relatively silently in Akira’s room. Sora had a notebook that he was filling to the brim with equations and mathwork… A habit he tends to fall into when anxious.

He spoke without looking up from his notebook, scribbling furiously with his pencil and only erasing occasionally.

“Things have felt kind of, like, weird, since the trial. I… I know that because of-” He cut himself off. “...I know that what happened at the end is affecting you, but something else feels off too.” He wrote a few weird non-numerical symbols after an equals sign. “...Is it from Charlotte?”

Sora didn’t want to admit to himself how icky he had been during the trial, but it was time.

“...I know I’ve been a bit… mean.”