Tales from the School Nurse

This is my first year working as a school nurse, and well, these kids say some of the funniest things. I'd like to chronicle this amusing excuses, or vent what I really want to say.

[noodlepower02-blog]

*yesterday*

Student: I threw up.

Me: It's 2:30pm. School is almost over. Do you ride the bus?

Student: No.

Me: Okay then, well just wait those 30 minutes until you go home. Okay?

*Today same student returns*

Student: I threw up.

Me: Did you tell your mom yesterday that you were sick?

Student: No.

Me: Why?

Student: I forgot.

Really? You forgot that you were sick?

[noodlepower02-blog]

Going Home Fail Number 1

Student: Nurse, is this stomach flu season?

Me: Why? Do you have the stomach flu?

Student: I don't know. I feel sick. My stomach feels like someone is jabbing me from the inside, and my insides are all on fire.

Me: Really?

*student gags*

*I stare*

Student: Ok, so that was fake. But I really do feel nauseated.

Me: Really?

Student: Yes. Monday through Friday, I'm always very nauseated. My stomach hurts and I just get sick.

Me: What about on Saturday and Sunday?

Student: No, it's just Monday - Friday that tries to kill me.