Look at Gilbert, here. He's so small. Look at his body language. There is none of his usual grace. None of his glamour. None of his arrogance. None of his sexuality. There is only paralysing fear, as he realises what's about to happen to him. A child, frozen in fear, completely vulnerable, utterly alone, with no one to hear, no one to help, locked with a demon in a dark room. I believe this might just be the truest depiction of Gilbert there is, the real Gilbert, that exists behind his façade of coping mechanisms, his attitude, his hypersexuality; the panel is like a microcosm of his soul. He was not a "little devil". He was a scared, hurt kid. One of the elements that help make this particular illustration so horrifying, so revolting, is how it clashes with the usual style of the manga. Most of the manga is drawn is its particular dreamy way I love so much, ethereal and idealized, all dramatic poses, allegoric representations, framing flowers, and furniture prettier than I could ever hope to be. But this particular part is awfully realistic in the body language of the characters: The way Auguste is so depravedly, predatorily hunched over Gilbert, the way the poor boy is pressed against the wall in fear, so tiny, so vulnerable. My god, he really was just a child! It's maddening. I didn't want to keep reading, to turn the page. To me, it didn't feel like an illustration, it felt like a photo. It actually made my skin crawl.
That Gilbert has the ending he gets, that there is no recovery, or even justice for him, it bothers me so much. Too much. I feel like trash. It bothers me so much that it feels inadequate, considering how much injustice and pain there really is, happening in the real world. But I digress. I'll just congratulate Madam Takemiya on her work again, and leave it at that. Anyway, I couldn't sleep. It wasn't just Kazeki this time, but it sure as hell did its part. So, after a polite amount of tossing and turning, I got back up, and got a bit too into Kazeki again. Anyway, I'm actually feeling a touch of sleepiness, right now. I should be passing out soon, thankfully. I hope I don't remember any dreams I might have.