“J-Joshua—What are you doing?” you gasped, feeling his hands clutching your waist. Joshua rolled his eyes. His brown eyes peered down at you intimidatingly, hairs falling in his face before he spoke, “Don’t do that. I know you want this,” he rasped, wetting his lips before smirking.
pairing joshua x f!reader wc 3.2k tags childhood babysitter!joshua, non-idol au, dom!joshua, sub!reader, making out, ripping clothing, fingering, teasing, pussy slapping, unprotected sex, light degradation, biting, marking, light mention of blood, cumming on skin, aftercare warnings smut, alcohol consumption, cursing, age gap
a/n hello! it’s been a while! i wrote this a while ago for patreon but since i deactivated i figured i’d finally post it here! this fic is inspired by this picture I found on twitter.
bataed by the lovely @okiedokrie, @mylovesstuffs & @supi-wupi <3
You were already getting tipsy. The gin-infused cucumber you’d fished out of your empty glass almost tasted sweet, and you chose not to acknowledge how the ice cubes inside it had barely melted—a subtle giveaway of how fast you’d been drinking.
It was your aunt’s 60th birthday party, an extravagant celebration at some fancy rented estate located out of town. Well over a hundred people were attending, and you wondered if your aunt really knew all these people, most of whom were complete strangers to you.
Though some were your own family, or a couple of people you recognized by face—you still felt out of place.
You got up from the bar with a sigh, deciding to go look for your sister, despite her being glued at the hip with her lame boyfriend. You’d told yourself not to be their third wheel again, but the two didn’t seem to mind your company, and at this point you were desperate for someone familiar to talk to.
The air outside was noticeably cooler. You fixed your dress as you scanned the garden, the music from inside now thumping behind you. As you tried to find your sister you locked eyes with an oddly familiar looking person, your stomach dropping when you realised that you knew this man.
Joshua’s eyes widened momentarily before softening into a smile, the corners crinkling with warmth. His lips curled up as you blinked, dumbfounded, while he started to approach you.
“My gosh, is that you, y/n?” he asked when he got close enough, his head tilting a little as he smiled even harder, seemingly taking you in.
“Joshua Hong,” you smiled, and you caught yourself looking him up and down just a little too long. Had he always been this hot?
Joshua had babysat you and your sister when you were around eight years old. He was the same age as your older cousin, and your aunt had recommended the then teen to your parents.
Whenever he came around you were always excited, seeing the mischievous boy more as a brother figure rather than a figure of authority. You and your sister always saw through his spineless threats of sending you to bed early, provoking him until you got what you wanted from him: more snacks and no bedtime.
You felt a bit sorry for him now as the memories came rushing back to you, though Joshua had always been a good sport. He never seemed to mind you and your sister’s antics too much.
“I haven’t seen you in years,” Joshua shook his head in disbelief, his eyes never leaving your matured face. You simply hummed, the corner of your mouth lifting involuntarily as you ogled him.
He was wearing a white blouse, the cuffs rolled up to his elbows paired with stylish, dark jeans. Strands of his dark brown hair fell into his eyes, and those pretty lips…
“My gosh, you’ve grown so much since I last babysat you!” he leaned in a little before crossing his arms over his chest, his eyes getting smaller as he smiled sweetly. You watched the muscles of his arms strain against the fabric, not caring that you were basically undressing him with your eyes.
You needed to fuck Joshua Hong.
“Are you still as much of a menace as back then?” Joshua giggled obliviously, sighing as he relived a particular memory.
You wet your lips, grinning at him. “What do you think?” you cocked up a brow, making him laugh. He shook his head again, exhaling a long sigh. “I still remember you and your sister locking me out of the house,” Joshua smiled, amused. You chuckled at the memory he unlocked for you.
“You two were such little devils,” he added, sighing again.
If you wanted to succeed in fucking Joshua you had to remind him you weren’t just the cute kid he babysat anymore—you needed to show him.
“We really liked you, you know,” you told him, watching his eyes light up a little. You relished in the feeling you got when you noticed him almost getting shy at your words, baring his white teeth in an endearing way that sent your pulse racing.
“I liked you guys too,” he said sweetly, a honey-warm timbre softening his voice.
You smiled back at him before quickly glancing back at the house. Pouting, you met his eye again, reading him for a second before asking, “Do you want to have a drink with me, Joshua?”
The name rolled off your tongue easily, like it was second nature. Joshua excitedly nodded, quickly agreeing. “I would love to.” he beamed.
Joshua hid his surprise when you suddenly linked arms with him, figuring you were just being very kind to an old friend.
You felt like a predator hunting its prey as you led him inside, the rowdy mix of chatter and music a part of the scene as you closed in for the kill.
You discovered Joshua was a wine guy. As you sat together at the same bar you started your night he slowly sipped on a complimentary merlot, idly sloshing the red liquid around as you chatted.
Much like the velvety and fruity essence of his drink, Joshua proved to be the same soft-spoken yet mischievous guy you remembered him being. The conversation flowed easily—almost just as effortlessly as your fourth gin tonic of the night. Faux-innocuous, wandering eyes slowly turned to innocent touches—a playful shove, a teasing shoulder bump—all under the guise of a family friend simply catching up.
You knew you couldn’t make your move just yet—not with your families only a quick glance away. But once you had established that Joshua wasn’t opposed to… whatever he thought was happening, you were hoping to get away from any watchful, inquisitive eyes.
Evident from the newfound quirk tugging at Joshua’s lips, you knew it would only be natural to move to a more quiet spot. His broad frame had found yours now, shoulders brushing as you laughed together. He had this look in his eyes, wantonly ogling you just like you had the entire time. He wanted you too.
From inside you could see the sun was almost done setting, and after the decorative fairy lights hanging in the trees turned on and warmed up the spacious garden, you noticed you had finished your drink again. You straightened up, ready to continue your little plan.
But then—you didn’t even need to do that, as Joshua was well ahead of you. Surprisingly, but not quite.
“Do you want to walk outside for a bit?” Joshua cocked up his brow, setting down his equally empty glass.
You smiled at him, noticing the subtle maroon color that had started to appear on his cheeks.
“Fun,” you nodded, as if this was his own idea all along.
He offered his hand to help you down from the barstool, the warmth emitting off you a subtle hint of how much you wanted this.
You walked outside together, the cool night breeze making you conscious of just how much your skin had heated up in Joshua’s alluring presence.
“This is nice,” Joshua muttered, admiring the twinkling lights. You nodded, leisurely walking alongside him. It was noticeably less busy than before, more and more guests retreating inside to mingle or drunkenly dance to some Latin music the DJ had started playing.
“The location is really beautiful,” you hummed, your eyes falling on your sister and her boyfriend, who were laughing with some of your cousins on the other side of the garden carelessly.
Joshua slowed a little, making you look back at him.
“No—I mean this,” Joshua giggled. “Talking with you has been lovely,” he smiled at you, the two of you standing still now. You chuckled, watching him read you.
“I think so too, Joshua,” you told him, blinking slowly.
Joshua bit his lip, making you raise your eyebrows at him. He looked around for a moment, his eyes falling on a wooden garden house even farther away from anyone.
“Can I show you something?” he asked almost nervously, his glossy eyes gliding over your frame.
You almost smiled in amusement, but you chose not to. “You can’t show me here?” you asked, feigning innocence. You saw right through him, and now you wanted to play.
Joshua exhaled a slow breath, his jaw ticking. He shook his head. “No, cant here,” he said pointedly, fully aware of what you were doing now. He saw through you, too.
You pouted credulously, slowly nodding. “Okay,” your lips started curling up—quickly parting when he suddenly grabbed your wrist.
Joshua wordlessly led you to the freshly painted garden house, his free hand opening the door and entering inside. There were all kinds of tools inside, yet it wasn’t messy. Everything had its own spot, save for a pile of wood in the corner.
The man still gripping your wrist didn’t seem too interested in the interior of the garden house, pressing you into the door with his body as it clicked shut behind you.
“J-Joshua—What are you doing?” you gasped, feeling his hands clutching your waist.
Joshua rolled his eyes. His brown eyes peered down at you intimidatingly, hairs falling in his face before he spoke, “Don’t do that. I know you want this,” he rasped, wetting his lips before smirking.
Your stomach fluttered at his words. Now that—you didn’t expect. The sweet Joshua you knew wasn't like this. But you hadn’t seen Joshua since you were a kid, and you were more than liking this grown-up version of him.
“You think I didn’t notice how you’ve been teasing me the whole night?” he exhaled a breath in amusement, softly shaking his head. “Looking at me like you were, touching me like that,” he tsked, squeezing your plush skin.
You batted your eyelashes as if you had been clueless of how you’d been acting. “I didn’t do anything,” you told him, voice trembling just enough to make him laugh.
“Hmn, okay, y/n,” he mocked you, his face—his lips—so close to you it almost had you give in right there and then. But you were stubborn, and you were enjoying this way too much.
“Then I must’ve thought wrong. I’m sorry,” he smiled, letting go of you. There was still a hint of mischief in his eyes, but you were actually starting to worry about him leaving that you didn’t notice. He took a step back, and you frowned, eyes widening a little.
“No—I was just kidding,” it was your turn to grab his wrist now, and Joshua raised his eyebrows.
“Don’t go. I’m way more fun than the party.” you tugged him back to get him close again, but Joshua barely budged under your strength. “Are you now?” he smiled, and he cocked his head to the side.
You nodded. “Of course. Why else would you spend so much time with me?” you blinked, growing a bit bolder again. Joshua laughed, his eyes getting smaller.
“Yeah, you’re right. I don’t want to leave you just yet.” he agreed, finally inching closer to you again.
You inhaled a big breath when you felt his hands back on your sides, his firm chest pressing into your staggering one. You gulped. He gently lifted a hand, surprising you by pressing his thumb against your lips, swiping at your lipstick—or whatever was still left of it. It smudged on his skin, subtle blotches of red staining the pale digit.
“Be quiet,” Joshua whispered, using the same hand to tilt up your chin and finally meet your soft lips. You sighed against his mouth, the back of your head leaning back against the wooden panels as he kissed you hard.
Your hands found his shoulders, using the leverage to pull him even closer. You could taste raspberry when your tongue swiped his, savoring the sweet taste hungrily as you kept kissing. Joshua found the hem of your dress, warm fingers burning your skin even through the black stockings you were wearing.
He hiked up the dress, making you moan when he sucked on your bottom lip.
The sound of him ripping your stockings hit your ear before you could even process what he was doing, suppressing your gasp with his mouth as a smirk tugged at the corners of his lips.
“My stockings!” your eyebrows scrunched together as you whined, feeling his teeth start to nibble on your jaw after pulling back to scold him.
“Sorry,” Joshua chuckled. But he didn’t sound very sorry. “I’ll buy you new ones,” he added, as if the problem had been the price of new stockings rather than the fact you would be walking around your aunt’s party missing an item of clothing.
You didn’t reply to that, fixated on the feeling of Joshua kissing your neck as he tugged down your panties. His fingers found your slick pussy, rubbing your clit in a slow motion. You bit your lip before letting your head loll back.
“You’re so wet,” he said quietly as if he was only talking to himself. Joshua slid two of his fingers inside of your entrance, surprising you. You moaned feeling him move them inside of you—still slowly, like he was simply testing the waters before fully diving in. You sighed at the feeling, pleasure blooming inside of you.
A part of you knew this was wrong on so many levels, but you had always been reckless. And you wanted Joshua.
He picked up the pace, making you shudder against him as his thumb found your clit. A smirk tugged at his lips, pointed eyes watching you gasp and moan for him.
The quiet, low bass of the music coming from inside of the house seemed worlds away now, inconspicuous to the both of you as you got lost in the heat of the moment.
“God, Shua,” you gulped, opening your legs wider for him. Joshua chuckled at the nickname you had given him. He pressed a kiss to your lips, and you could feel his hard cock pressing into your thigh. The realization made you moan again, tightening around his two fingers fruitlessly.
“Stop, stop,” you weakly pushed his shoulder, watching him frown at your words. “Hm?” he slowed down, brown eyes gliding over your features. “What’s wrong?” he whispered, giving the corner of your mouth a soft peck.
“Just fuck me. Please?” you looked at him, his worried expression contorting into a smile as he took in your plea. He hummed softly, pulling out of your heat to open his silk dress pants.
He watched you as he pushed them down, dress hiked up and creasing, ripped black stockings hanging from your soft thighs. He thought you looked beautiful before. But now, you looked ravishing.
Joshua urged his boxers down, exposing his hard and leaking cock to you. His big hand encircled his length, spreading his pre-cum over himself while his other found the wall next to your warm body. “Hurry up,” you gulped, blinking when he cocked his brow at your words.
“You have a big mouth.” Joshua observed aloud, tsking at the entitled look you were giving him next.
He forced your thighs wider with his knee, making you gasp in surprise. He chuckled before closing the space between you again.
His lips were on you in an instant, almost demanding as he kissed you again. Roughly, having you grab his shoulders to anchor yourself.
He guided his wet cockhead to your puffy lips, slapping it against your cunt to make you mewl again. Your grip on his shirt tightened, feeling him inch closer to your burning core, pushing it against your entrance and slowly pushing inside. “Fuck,” you cursed, moaning against his mouth as he pushed in.
It burned deliciously as he stretched your pussy, your walls pulsing and gripping him like a vice. “S-slow down.” you pushed your forehead against his shoulder, breathing heavily to try to get used to his big cock.
“Is this really all you can take?” he mocked you condescendingly. You moaned loudly as he pushed in and bottomed out, amused at the sounds ripping from your throat. “Fuck you.” you breathed, your fingers shaking as you held onto him. “Fuck, Joshua,” you bit your lip in pleasure, whimpering when he pulled back to thrust right back inside.
“You’re so filthy, y/n,” Joshua sighed as he started to move. As if he wasn’t the one who brought you here in the first place.
You kissed him again, a mess of spit and teeth as your body grew ten times warmer. He felt so good, so thick and inviting as he kept moving.
The panels behind you started to shake as Joshua went faster, urging your thigh over his hip so he could go even deeper. The newfound pleasure echoed inside of the enclosed space, your moans and groans and breaths the least of your worries.
“Stay put,” Joshua mumbled against your lips, helping you hold up your thigh as it started to slide down from his rough thrusts. He squeezed your plush skin, sucking your bottom lip so hard you started to taste copper.
He moaned when you started to play with your throbbing clit, bucking your hips while you saw stars. “Fuck, Shua. Keep going, please.” you put your arm around his neck, pulling him even closer if that were even possible.
“Your pussy is so damn tight, baby,” Joshua groaned, twitching inside of you deliciously. “I’m gonna cum. Cum with me?” he asked you. You nodded wordlessly, throwing your head back in pleasure as you kept touching yourself as Joshua’s thrusts became sloppier.
He nipped on your neck, sucking on your skin as he fucked you dumb. A guttural moan left your lips, squeezing his shoulder as you came around his cock.
Your orgasm triggered Joshua’s, quickly pulling out of your warmth to release all over your thigh. “Shit,” he groaned, catching his breath against your neck.
He rubbed his cock to get out every last drop, sighing at the bliss that followed. Joshua kissed you before slowly peeling himself off you. He tucked himself back in and fixed his clothes before tending to you, failing to hide the chuckle coming out of him at the mess he’d left you.
“Sorry for ripping your pretty stockings.” He smiled without actually sounding too genuine. You tried to catch your breath still, watching him kneel before you to take off your heels. He took off the torn material carefully, using it to clean the mess from your thigh before tossing it aside and helping you put your shoes back on.
“It’s fine.” you said as he fixed your dress, smoothing the creases before fixing the tousled stands of your hair.
Joshua noticed the bruise he’d left on your lip, the subtle red lipstick that stained your chin, figuring there was no way he’d let you back to the party like this.
He wasn’t long done with you, anyway.
“Do you want to get out of here, pretty?” he carefully brushed your cheek, a sweet smile playing on his lips.
You smiled back at him, slowly nodding.
“We weren’t done catching up, were we?” you hummed, making him chuckle before nodding. You weren’t done with Joshua Hong by a long shot.
“J-Joshua—What are you doing?” you gasped, feeling his hands clutching your waist. Joshua rolled his eyes. His brown eyes peered down at you intimidatingly, hairs falling in his face before he spoke, “Don’t do that. I know you want this,” he rasped, wetting his lips before smirking.
pairing joshua x f!reader wc 3.2k tags childhood babysitter!joshua, non-idol au, dom!joshua, sub!reader, making out, ripping clothing, fingering, teasing, pussy slapping, unprotected sex, light degradation, biting, marking, light mention of blood, cumming on skin, aftercare warnings smut, alcohol consumption, cursing, age gap
a/n hello! it’s been a while! i wrote this a while ago for patreon but since i deactivated i figured i’d finally post it here! this fic is inspired by this picture I found on twitter.
bataed by the lovely @okiedokrie, @mylovesstuffs & @supi-wupi <3
You were already getting tipsy. The gin-infused cucumber you’d fished out of your empty glass almost tasted sweet, and you chose not to acknowledge how the ice cubes inside it had barely melted—a subtle giveaway of how fast you’d been drinking.
It was your aunt’s 60th birthday party, an extravagant celebration at some fancy rented estate located out of town. Well over a hundred people were attending, and you wondered if your aunt really knew all these people, most of whom were complete strangers to you.
Though some were your own family, or a couple of people you recognized by face—you still felt out of place.
You got up from the bar with a sigh, deciding to go look for your sister, despite her being glued at the hip with her lame boyfriend. You’d told yourself not to be their third wheel again, but the two didn’t seem to mind your company, and at this point you were desperate for someone familiar to talk to.
The air outside was noticeably cooler. You fixed your dress as you scanned the garden, the music from inside now thumping behind you. As you tried to find your sister you locked eyes with an oddly familiar looking person, your stomach dropping when you realised that you knew this man.
Joshua’s eyes widened momentarily before softening into a smile, the corners crinkling with warmth. His lips curled up as you blinked, dumbfounded, while he started to approach you.
“My gosh, is that you, y/n?” he asked when he got close enough, his head tilting a little as he smiled even harder, seemingly taking you in.
“Joshua Hong,” you smiled, and you caught yourself looking him up and down just a little too long. Had he always been this hot?
Joshua had babysat you and your sister when you were around eight years old. He was the same age as your older cousin, and your aunt had recommended the then teen to your parents.
Whenever he came around you were always excited, seeing the mischievous boy more as a brother figure rather than a figure of authority. You and your sister always saw through his spineless threats of sending you to bed early, provoking him until you got what you wanted from him: more snacks and no bedtime.
You felt a bit sorry for him now as the memories came rushing back to you, though Joshua had always been a good sport. He never seemed to mind you and your sister’s antics too much.
“I haven’t seen you in years,” Joshua shook his head in disbelief, his eyes never leaving your matured face. You simply hummed, the corner of your mouth lifting involuntarily as you ogled him.
He was wearing a white blouse, the cuffs rolled up to his elbows paired with stylish, dark jeans. Strands of his dark brown hair fell into his eyes, and those pretty lips…
“My gosh, you’ve grown so much since I last babysat you!” he leaned in a little before crossing his arms over his chest, his eyes getting smaller as he smiled sweetly. You watched the muscles of his arms strain against the fabric, not caring that you were basically undressing him with your eyes.
You needed to fuck Joshua Hong.
“Are you still as much of a menace as back then?” Joshua giggled obliviously, sighing as he relived a particular memory.
You wet your lips, grinning at him. “What do you think?” you cocked up a brow, making him laugh. He shook his head again, exhaling a long sigh. “I still remember you and your sister locking me out of the house,” Joshua smiled, amused. You chuckled at the memory he unlocked for you.
“You two were such little devils,” he added, sighing again.
If you wanted to succeed in fucking Joshua you had to
remind him you weren’t just the cute kid he babysat anymore—you needed to show him.
“We really liked you, you know,” you told him, watching his eyes light up a little. You relished in the feeling you got when you noticed him almost getting shy at your words, baring his white teeth in an endearing way that sent your pulse racing.
“I liked you guys too,” he said sweetly, a honey-warm timbre softening his voice.
You smiled back at him before quickly glancing back at the house. Pouting, you met his eye again, reading him for a second before asking, “Do you want to have a drink with me, Joshua?”
The name rolled off your tongue easily, like it was second nature. Joshua excitedly nodded, quickly agreeing. “I would love to.” he beamed.
Joshua hid his surprise when you suddenly linked arms with him, figuring you were just being very kind to an old friend.
You felt like a predator hunting its prey as you led him inside, the rowdy mix of chatter and music a part of the scene as you closed in for the kill.
You discovered Joshua was a wine guy. As you sat together at the same bar you started your night he slowly sipped on a complimentary merlot, idly sloshing the red liquid around as you chatted.
Much like the velvety and fruity essence of his drink, Joshua proved to be the same soft-spoken yet mischievous guy you remembered him being. The conversation flowed easily—almost just as effortlessly as your fourth gin tonic of the night. Faux-innocuous, wandering eyes slowly turned to innocent touches—a playful shove, a teasing shoulder bump—all under the guise of a family friend simply catching up.
You knew you couldn’t make your move just yet—not with your families only a quick glance away. But once you had established that Joshua wasn’t opposed to… whatever he thought was happening, you were hoping to get away from any watchful, inquisitive eyes.
Evident from the newfound quirk tugging at Joshua’s lips, you knew it would only be natural to move to a more quiet spot. His broad frame had found yours now, shoulders brushing as you laughed together. He had this look in his eyes, wantonly ogling you just like you had the entire time. He wanted you too.
From inside you could see the sun was almost done setting, and after the decorative fairy lights hanging in the trees turned on and warmed up the spacious garden, you noticed you had finished your drink again. You straightened up, ready to continue your little plan.
But then—you didn’t even need to do that, as Joshua was well ahead of you. Surprisingly, but not quite.
“Do you want to walk outside for a bit?” Joshua cocked up his brow, setting down his equally empty glass.
You smiled at him, noticing the subtle maroon color that had started to appear on his cheeks.
“Fun,” you nodded, as if this was his own idea all along.
He offered his hand to help you down from the barstool, the warmth emitting off you a subtle hint of how much you wanted this.
You walked outside together, the cool night breeze making you conscious of just how much your skin had heated up in Joshua’s alluring presence.
“This is nice,” Joshua muttered, admiring the twinkling lights. You nodded, leisurely walking alongside him. It was noticeably less busy than before, more and more guests retreating inside to mingle or drunkenly dance to some Latin music the DJ had started playing.
“The location is really beautiful,” you hummed, your eyes falling on your sister and her boyfriend, who were laughing with some of your cousins on the other side of the garden carelessly.
Joshua slowed a little, making you look back at him.
“No—I mean this,” Joshua giggled. “Talking with you has been lovely,” he smiled at you, the two of you standing still now. You chuckled, watching him read you.
“I think so too, Joshua,” you told him, blinking slowly.
Joshua bit his lip, making you raise your eyebrows at him. He looked around for a moment, his eyes falling on a wooden garden house even farther away from anyone.
“Can I show you something?” he asked almost nervously, his glossy eyes gliding over your frame.
You almost smiled in amusement, but you chose not to. “You can’t show me here?” you asked, feigning innocence. You saw right through him, and now you wanted to play.
Joshua exhaled a slow breath, his jaw ticking. He shook his head. “No, cant here,” he said pointedly, fully aware of what you were doing now. He saw through you, too.
You pouted credulously, slowly nodding. “Okay,” your lips started curling up—quickly parting when he suddenly grabbed your wrist.
Joshua wordlessly led you to the freshly painted garden house, his free hand opening the door and entering inside. There were all kinds of tools inside, yet it wasn’t messy. Everything had its own spot, save for a pile of wood in the corner.
The man still gripping your wrist didn’t seem too interested in the interior of the garden house, pressing you into the door with his body as it clicked shut behind you.
“J-Joshua—What are you doing?” you gasped, feeling his hands clutching your waist.
Joshua rolled his eyes. His brown eyes peered down at you intimidatingly, hairs falling in his face before he spoke, “Don’t do that. I know you want this,” he rasped, wetting his lips before smirking.
Your stomach fluttered at his words. Now that—you didn’t expect. The sweet Joshua you knew wasn't like this. But you hadn’t seen Joshua since you were a kid, and you were more than liking this grown-up version of him.
“You think I didn’t notice how you’ve been teasing me the whole night?” he exhaled a breath in amusement, softly shaking his head. “Looking at me like you were, touching me like that,” he tsked, squeezing your plush skin.
You batted your eyelashes as if you had been clueless of how you’d been acting. “I didn’t do anything,” you told him, voice trembling just enough to make him laugh.
“Hmn, okay, y/n,” he mocked you, his face—his lips—so close to you it almost had you give in right there and then. But you were stubborn, and you were enjoying this way too much.
“Then I must’ve thought wrong. I’m sorry,” he smiled, letting go of you. There was still a hint of mischief in his eyes, but you were actually starting to worry about him leaving that you didn’t notice. He took a step back, and you frowned, eyes widening a little.
“No—I was just kidding,” it was your turn to grab his wrist now, and Joshua raised his eyebrows.
“Don’t go. I’m way more fun than the party.” you tugged him back to get him close again, but Joshua barely budged under your strength. “Are you now?” he smiled, and he cocked his head to the side.
You nodded. “Of course. Why else would you spend so much time with me?” you blinked, growing a bit bolder again. Joshua laughed, his eyes getting smaller.
“Yeah, you’re right. I don’t want to leave you just yet.” he agreed, finally inching closer to you again.
You inhaled a big breath when you felt his hands back on your sides, his firm chest pressing into your staggering one. You gulped. He gently lifted a hand, surprising you by pressing his thumb against your lips, swiping at your lipstick—or whatever was still left of it. It smudged on his skin, subtle blotches of red staining the pale digit.
“Be quiet,” Joshua whispered, using the same hand to tilt up your chin and finally meet your soft lips. You sighed against his mouth, the back of your head leaning back against the wooden panels as he kissed you hard.
Your hands found his shoulders, using the leverage to pull him even closer. You could taste raspberry when your tongue swiped his, savoring the sweet taste hungrily as you kept kissing. Joshua found the hem of your dress, warm fingers burning your skin even through the black stockings you were wearing.
He hiked up the dress, making you moan when he sucked on your bottom lip.
The sound of him ripping your stockings hit your ear before you could even process what he was doing, suppressing your gasp with his mouth as a smirk tugged at the corners of his lips.
“My stockings!” your eyebrows scrunched together as you whined, feeling his teeth start to nibble on your jaw after pulling back to scold him.
“Sorry,” Joshua chuckled. But he didn’t sound very sorry. “I’ll buy you new ones,” he added, as if the problem had been the price of new stockings rather than the fact you would be walking around your aunt’s party missing an item of clothing.
You didn’t reply to that, fixated on the feeling of Joshua kissing your neck as he tugged down your panties. His fingers found your slick pussy, rubbing your clit in a slow motion. You bit your lip before letting your head loll back.
“You’re so wet,” he said quietly as if he was only talking to himself. Joshua slid two of his fingers inside of your entrance, surprising you. You moaned feeling him move them inside of you—still slowly, like he was simply testing the waters before fully diving in. You sighed at the feeling, pleasure blooming inside of you.
A part of you knew this was wrong on so many levels, but you had always been reckless. And you wanted Joshua.
He picked up the pace, making you shudder against him as his thumb found your clit. A smirk tugged at his lips, pointed eyes watching you gasp and moan for him.
The quiet, low bass of the music coming from inside of the house seemed worlds away now, inconspicuous to the both of you as you got lost in the heat of the moment.
“God, Shua,” you gulped, opening your legs wider for him. Joshua chuckled at the nickname you had given him. He pressed a kiss to your lips, and you could feel his hard cock pressing into your thigh. The realization made you moan again, tightening around his two fingers fruitlessly.
“Stop, stop,” you weakly pushed his shoulder, watching him frown at your words. “Hm?” he slowed down, brown eyes gliding over your features. “What’s wrong?” he whispered, giving the corner of your mouth a soft peck.
“Just fuck me. Please?” you looked at him, his worried expression contorting into a smile as he took in your plea. He hummed softly, pulling out of your heat to open his silk dress pants.
He watched you as he pushed them down, dress hiked up and creasing, ripped black stockings hanging from your soft thighs. He thought you looked beautiful before. But now, you looked ravishing.
Joshua urged his boxers down, exposing his hard and leaking cock to you. His big hand encircled his length, spreading his pre-cum over himself while his other found the wall next to your warm body. “Hurry up,” you gulped, blinking when he cocked his brow at your words.
“You have a big mouth.” Joshua observed aloud, tsking at the entitled look you were giving him next.
He forced your thighs wider with his knee, making you gasp in surprise. He chuckled before closing the space between you again.
His lips were on you in an instant, almost demanding as he kissed you again. Roughly, having you grab his shoulders to anchor yourself.
He guided his wet cockhead to your puffy lips, slapping it against your cunt to make you mewl again. Your grip on his shirt tightened, feeling him inch closer to your burning core, pushing it against your entrance and slowly pushing inside. “Fuck,” you cursed, moaning against his mouth as he pushed in.
It burned deliciously as he stretched your pussy, your walls pulsing and gripping him like a vice. “S-slow down.” you pushed your forehead against his shoulder, breathing heavily to try to get used to his big cock.
“Is this really all you can take?” he mocked you condescendingly. You moaned loudly as he pushed in and bottomed out, amused at the sounds ripping from your throat. “Fuck you.” you breathed, your fingers shaking as you held onto him. “Fuck, Joshua,” you bit your lip in pleasure, whimpering when he pulled back to thrust right back inside.
“You’re so filthy, y/n,” Joshua sighed as he started to move. As if he wasn’t the one who brought you here in the first place.
You kissed him again, a mess of spit and teeth as your body grew ten times warmer. He felt so good, so thick and inviting as he kept moving.
The panels behind you started to shake as Joshua went faster, urging your thigh over his hip so he could go even deeper. The newfound pleasure echoed inside of the enclosed space, your moans and groans and breaths the least of your worries.
“Stay put,” Joshua mumbled against your lips, helping you hold up your thigh as it started to slide down from his rough thrusts. He squeezed your plush skin, sucking your bottom lip so hard you started to taste copper.
He moaned when you started to play with your throbbing clit, bucking your hips while you saw stars. “Fuck, Shua. Keep going, please.” you put your arm around his neck, pulling him even closer if that were even possible.
“Your pussy is so damn tight, baby,” Joshua groaned, twitching inside of you deliciously. “I’m gonna cum. Cum with me?” he asked you. You nodded wordlessly, throwing your head back in pleasure as you kept touching yourself as Joshua’s thrusts became sloppier.
He nipped on your neck, sucking on your skin as he fucked you dumb. A guttural moan left your lips, squeezing his shoulder as you came around his cock.
Your orgasm triggered Joshua’s, quickly pulling out of your warmth to release all over your thigh. “Shit,” he groaned, catching his breath against your neck.
He rubbed his cock to get out every last drop, sighing at the bliss that followed. Joshua kissed you before slowly peeling himself off you. He tucked himself back in and fixed his clothes before tending to you, failing to hide the chuckle coming out of him at the mess he’d left you.
“Sorry for ripping your pretty stockings.” He smiled without actually sounding too genuine. You tried to catch your breath still, watching him kneel before you to take off your heels. He took off the torn material carefully, using it to clean the mess from your thigh before tossing it aside and helping you put your shoes back on.
“It’s fine.” you said as he fixed your dress, smoothing the creases before fixing the tousled stands of your hair.
Joshua noticed the bruise he’d left on your lip, the subtle red lipstick that stained your chin, figuring there was no way he’d let you back to the party like this.
He wasn’t long done with you, anyway.
“Do you want to get out of here, pretty?” he carefully brushed your cheek, a sweet smile playing on his lips.
You smiled back at him, slowly nodding.
“We weren’t done catching up, were we?” you hummed, making him chuckle before nodding. You weren’t done with Joshua Hong by a long shot.
“J-Joshua—What are you doing?” you gasped, feeling his hands clutching your waist. Joshua rolled his eyes. His brown eyes peered down at you intimidatingly, hairs falling in his face before he spoke, “Don’t do that. I know you want this,” he rasped, wetting his lips before smirking.
pairing joshua x f!reader wc 3.2k tags childhood babysitter!joshua, non-idol au, dom!joshua, sub!reader, making out, ripping clothing, fingering, teasing, pussy slapping, unprotected sex, light degradation, biting, marking, light mention of blood, cumming on skin, aftercare warnings smut, alcohol consumption, cursing, age gap
a/n hello! it’s been a while! i wrote this a while ago for patreon but since i deactivated i figured i’d finally post it here! this fic is inspired by this picture I found on twitter.
bataed by the lovely @okiedokrie, @mylovesstuffs & @supi-wupi <3
You were already getting tipsy. The gin-infused cucumber you’d fished out of your empty glass almost tasted sweet, and you chose not to acknowledge how the ice cubes inside it had barely melted—a subtle giveaway of how fast you’d been drinking.
It was your aunt’s 60th birthday party, an extravagant celebration at some fancy rented estate located out of town. Well over a hundred people were attending, and you wondered if your aunt really knew all these people, most of whom were complete strangers to you.
Though some were your own family, or a couple of people you recognized by face—you still felt out of place.
You got up from the bar with a sigh, deciding to go look for your sister, despite her being glued at the hip with her lame boyfriend. You’d told yourself not to be their third wheel again, but the two didn’t seem to mind your company, and at this point you were desperate for someone familiar to talk to.
The air outside was noticeably cooler. You fixed your dress as you scanned the garden, the music from inside now thumping behind you. As you tried to find your sister you locked eyes with an oddly familiar looking person, your stomach dropping when you realised that you knew this man.
Joshua’s eyes widened momentarily before softening into a smile, the corners crinkling with warmth. His lips curled up as you blinked, dumbfounded, while he started to approach you.
“My gosh, is that you, y/n?” he asked when he got close enough, his head tilting a little as he smiled even harder, seemingly taking you in.
“Joshua Hong,” you smiled, and you caught yourself looking him up and down just a little too long. Had he always been this hot?
Joshua had babysat you and your sister when you were around eight years old. He was the same age as your older cousin, and your aunt had recommended the then teen to your parents.
Whenever he came around you were always excited, seeing the mischievous boy more as a brother figure rather than a figure of authority. You and your sister always saw through his spineless threats of sending you to bed early, provoking him until you got what you wanted from him: more snacks and no bedtime.
You felt a bit sorry for him now as the memories came rushing back to you, though Joshua had always been a good sport. He never seemed to mind you and your sister’s antics too much.
“I haven’t seen you in years,” Joshua shook his head in disbelief, his eyes never leaving your matured face. You simply hummed, the corner of your mouth lifting involuntarily as you ogled him.
He was wearing a white blouse, the cuffs rolled up to his elbows paired with stylish, dark jeans. Strands of his dark brown hair fell into his eyes, and those pretty lips…
“My gosh, you’ve grown so much since I last babysat you!” he leaned in a little before crossing his arms over his chest, his eyes getting smaller as he smiled sweetly. You watched the muscles of his arms strain against the fabric, not caring that you were basically undressing him with your eyes.
You needed to fuck Joshua Hong.
“Are you still as much of a menace as back then?” Joshua giggled obliviously, sighing as he relived a particular memory.
You wet your lips, grinning at him. “What do you think?” you cocked up a brow, making him laugh. He shook his head again, exhaling a long sigh. “I still remember you and your sister locking me out of the house,” Joshua smiled, amused. You chuckled at the memory he unlocked for you.
“You two were such little devils,” he added, sighing again.
If you wanted to succeed in fucking Joshua you had to remind him you weren’t just the cute kid he babysat anymore—you needed to show him.
“We really liked you, you know,” you told him, watching his eyes light up a little. You relished in the feeling you got when you noticed him almost getting shy at your words, baring his white teeth in an endearing way that sent your pulse racing.
“I liked you guys too,” he said sweetly, a honey-warm timbre softening his voice.
You smiled back at him before quickly glancing back at the house. Pouting, you met his eye again, reading him for a second before asking, “Do you want to have a drink with me, Joshua?”
The name rolled off your tongue easily, like it was second nature. Joshua excitedly nodded, quickly agreeing. “I would love to.” he beamed.
Joshua hid his surprise when you suddenly linked arms with him, figuring you were just being very kind to an old friend.
You felt like a predator hunting its prey as you led him inside, the rowdy mix of chatter and music a part of the scene as you closed in for the kill.
You discovered Joshua was a wine guy. As you sat together at the same bar you started your night he slowly sipped on a complimentary merlot, idly sloshing the red liquid around as you chatted.
Much like the velvety and fruity essence of his drink, Joshua proved to be the same soft-spoken yet mischievous guy you remembered him being. The conversation flowed easily—almost just as effortlessly as your fourth gin tonic of the night. Faux-innocuous, wandering eyes slowly turned to innocent touches—a playful shove, a teasing shoulder bump—all under the guise of a family friend simply catching up.
You knew you couldn’t make your move just yet—not with your families only a quick glance away. But once you had established that Joshua wasn’t opposed to… whatever he thought was happening, you were hoping to get away from any watchful, inquisitive eyes.
Evident from the newfound quirk tugging at Joshua’s lips, you knew it would only be natural to move to a more quiet spot. His broad frame had found yours now, shoulders brushing as you laughed together. He had this look in his eyes, wantonly ogling you just like you had the entire time. He wanted you too.
From inside you could see the sun was almost done setting, and after the decorative fairy lights hanging in the trees turned on and warmed up the spacious garden, you noticed you had finished your drink again. You straightened up, ready to continue your little plan.
But then—you didn’t even need to do that, as Joshua was well ahead of you. Surprisingly, but not quite.
“Do you want to walk outside for a bit?” Joshua cocked up his brow, setting down his equally empty glass.
You smiled at him, noticing the subtle maroon color that had started to appear on his cheeks.
“Fun,” you nodded, as if this was his own idea all along.
He offered his hand to help you down from the barstool, the warmth emitting off you a subtle hint of how much you wanted this.
You walked outside together, the cool night breeze making you conscious of just how much your skin had heated up in Joshua’s alluring presence.
“This is nice,” Joshua muttered, admiring the twinkling lights. You nodded, leisurely walking alongside him. It was noticeably less busy than before, more and more guests retreating inside to mingle or drunkenly dance to some Latin music the DJ had started playing.
“The location is really beautiful,” you hummed, your eyes falling on your sister and her boyfriend, who were laughing with some of your cousins on the other side of the garden carelessly.
Joshua slowed a little, making you look back at him.
“No—I mean this,” Joshua giggled. “Talking with you has been lovely,” he smiled at you, the two of you standing still now. You chuckled, watching him read you.
“I think so too, Joshua,” you told him, blinking slowly.
Joshua bit his lip, making you raise your eyebrows at him. He looked around for a moment, his eyes falling on a wooden garden house even farther away from anyone.
“Can I show you something?” he asked almost nervously, his glossy eyes gliding over your frame.
You almost smiled in amusement, but you chose not to. “You can’t show me here?” you asked, feigning innocence. You saw right through him, and now you wanted to play.
Joshua exhaled a slow breath, his jaw ticking. He shook his head. “No, cant here,” he said pointedly, fully aware of what you were doing now. He saw through you, too.
You pouted credulously, slowly nodding. “Okay,” your lips started curling up—quickly parting when he suddenly grabbed your wrist.
Joshua wordlessly led you to the freshly painted garden house, his free hand opening the door and entering inside. There were all kinds of tools inside, yet it wasn’t messy. Everything had its own spot, save for a pile of wood in the corner.
The man still gripping your wrist didn’t seem too interested in the interior of the garden house, pressing you into the door with his body as it clicked shut behind you.
“J-Joshua—What are you doing?” you gasped, feeling his hands clutching your waist.
Joshua rolled his eyes. His brown eyes peered down at you intimidatingly, hairs falling in his face before he spoke, “Don’t do that. I know you want this,” he rasped, wetting his lips before smirking.
Your stomach fluttered at his words. Now that—you didn’t expect. The sweet Joshua you knew wasn't like this. But you hadn’t seen Joshua since you were a kid, and you were more than liking this grown-up version of him.
“You think I didn’t notice how you’ve been teasing me the whole night?” he exhaled a breath in amusement, softly shaking his head. “Looking at me like you were, touching me like that,” he tsked, squeezing your plush skin.
You batted your eyelashes as if you had been clueless of how you’d been acting. “I didn’t do anything,” you told him, voice trembling just enough to make him laugh.
“Hmn, okay, y/n,” he mocked you, his face—his lips—so close to you it almost had you give in right there and then. But you were stubborn, and you were enjoying this way too much.
“Then I must’ve thought wrong. I’m sorry,” he smiled, letting go of you. There was still a hint of mischief in his eyes, but you were actually starting to worry about him leaving that you didn’t notice. He took a step back, and you frowned, eyes widening a little.
“No—I was just kidding,” it was your turn to grab his wrist now, and Joshua raised his eyebrows.
“Don’t go. I’m way more fun than the party.” you tugged him back to get him close again, but Joshua barely budged under your strength. “Are you now?” he smiled, and he cocked his head to the side.
You nodded. “Of course. Why else would you spend so much time with me?” you blinked, growing a bit bolder again. Joshua laughed, his eyes getting smaller.
“Yeah, you’re right. I don’t want to leave you just yet.” he agreed, finally inching closer to you again.
You inhaled a big breath when you felt his hands back on your sides, his firm chest pressing into your staggering one. You gulped. He gently lifted a hand, surprising you by pressing his thumb against your lips, swiping at your lipstick—or whatever was still left of it. It smudged on his skin, subtle blotches of red staining the pale digit.
“Be quiet,” Joshua whispered, using the same hand to tilt up your chin and finally meet your soft lips. You sighed against his mouth, the back of your head leaning back against the wooden panels as he kissed you hard.
Your hands found his shoulders, using the leverage to pull him even closer. You could taste raspberry when your tongue swiped his, savoring the sweet taste hungrily as you kept kissing. Joshua found the hem of your dress, warm fingers burning your skin even through the black stockings you were wearing.
He hiked up the dress, making you moan when he sucked on your bottom lip.
The sound of him ripping your stockings hit your ear before you could even process what he was doing, suppressing your gasp with his mouth as a smirk tugged at the corners of his lips.
“My stockings!” your eyebrows scrunched together as you whined, feeling his teeth start to nibble on your jaw after pulling back to scold him.
“Sorry,” Joshua chuckled. But he didn’t sound very sorry. “I’ll buy you new ones,” he added, as if the problem had been the price of new stockings rather than the fact you would be walking around your aunt’s party missing an item of clothing.
You didn’t reply to that, fixated on the feeling of Joshua kissing your neck as he tugged down your panties. His fingers found your slick pussy, rubbing your clit in a slow motion. You bit your lip before letting your head loll back.
“You’re so wet,” he said quietly as if he was only talking to himself. Joshua slid two of his fingers inside of your entrance, surprising you. You moaned feeling him move them inside of you—still slowly, like he was simply testing the waters before fully diving in. You sighed at the feeling, pleasure blooming inside of you.
A part of you knew this was wrong on so many levels, but you had always been reckless. And you wanted Joshua.
He picked up the pace, making you shudder against him as his thumb found your clit. A smirk tugged at his lips, pointed eyes watching you gasp and moan for him.
The quiet, low bass of the music coming from inside of the house seemed worlds away now, inconspicuous to the both of you as you got lost in the heat of the moment.
“God, Shua,” you gulped, opening your legs wider for him. Joshua chuckled at the nickname you had given him. He pressed a kiss to your lips, and you could feel his hard cock pressing into your thigh. The realization made you moan again, tightening around his two fingers fruitlessly.
“Stop, stop,” you weakly pushed his shoulder, watching him frown at your words. “Hm?” he slowed down, brown eyes gliding over your features. “What’s wrong?” he whispered, giving the corner of your mouth a soft peck.
“Just fuck me. Please?” you looked at him, his worried expression contorting into a smile as he took in your plea. He hummed softly, pulling out of your heat to open his silk dress pants.
He watched you as he pushed them down, dress hiked up and creasing, ripped black stockings hanging from your soft thighs. He thought you looked beautiful before. But now, you looked ravishing.
Joshua urged his boxers down, exposing his hard and leaking cock to you. His big hand encircled his length, spreading his pre-cum over himself while his other found the wall next to your warm body. “Hurry up,” you gulped, blinking when he cocked his brow at your words.
“You have a big mouth.” Joshua observed aloud, tsking at the entitled look you were giving him next.
He forced your thighs wider with his knee, making you gasp in surprise. He chuckled before closing the space between you again.
His lips were on you in an instant, almost demanding as he kissed you again. Roughly, having you grab his shoulders to anchor yourself.
He guided his wet cockhead to your puffy lips, slapping it against your cunt to make you mewl again. Your grip on his shirt tightened, feeling him inch closer to your burning core, pushing it against your entrance and slowly pushing inside. “Fuck,” you cursed, moaning against his mouth as he pushed in.
It burned deliciously as he stretched your pussy, your walls pulsing and gripping him like a vice. “S-slow down.” you pushed your forehead against his shoulder, breathing heavily to try to get used to his big cock.
“Is this really all you can take?” he mocked you condescendingly. You moaned loudly as he pushed in and bottomed out, amused at the sounds ripping from your throat. “Fuck you.” you breathed, your fingers shaking as you held onto him. “Fuck, Joshua,” you bit your lip in pleasure, whimpering when he pulled back to thrust right back inside.
“You’re so filthy, y/n,” Joshua sighed as he started to move. As if he wasn’t the one who brought you here in the first place.
You kissed him again, a mess of spit and teeth as your body grew ten times warmer. He felt so good, so thick and inviting as he kept moving.
The panels behind you started to shake as Joshua went faster, urging your thigh over his hip so he could go even deeper. The newfound pleasure echoed inside of the enclosed space, your moans and groans and breaths the least of your worries.
“Stay put,” Joshua mumbled against your lips, helping you hold up your thigh as it started to slide down from his rough thrusts. He squeezed your plush skin, sucking your bottom lip so hard you started to taste copper.
He moaned when you started to play with your throbbing clit, bucking your hips while you saw stars. “Fuck, Shua. Keep going, please.” you put your arm around his neck, pulling him even closer if that were even possible.
“Your pussy is so damn tight, baby,” Joshua groaned, twitching inside of you deliciously. “I’m gonna cum. Cum with me?” he asked you. You nodded wordlessly, throwing your head back in pleasure as you kept touching yourself as Joshua’s thrusts became sloppier.
He nipped on your neck, sucking on your skin as he fucked you dumb. A guttural moan left your lips, squeezing his shoulder as you came around his cock.
Your orgasm triggered Joshua’s, quickly pulling out of your warmth to release all over your thigh. “Shit,” he groaned, catching his breath against your neck.
He rubbed his cock to get out every last drop, sighing at the bliss that followed. Joshua kissed you before slowly peeling himself off you. He tucked himself back in and fixed his clothes before tending to you, failing to hide the chuckle coming out of him at the mess he’d left you.
“Sorry for ripping your pretty stockings.” He smiled without actually sounding too genuine. You tried to catch your breath still, watching him kneel before you to take off your heels. He took off the torn material carefully, using it to clean the mess from your thigh before tossing it aside and helping you put your shoes back on.
“It’s fine.” you said as he fixed your dress, smoothing the creases before fixing the tousled stands of your hair.
Joshua noticed the bruise he’d left on your lip, the subtle red lipstick that stained your chin, figuring there was no way he’d let you back to the party like this.
He wasn’t long done with you, anyway.
“Do you want to get out of here, pretty?” he carefully brushed your cheek, a sweet smile playing on his lips.
You smiled back at him, slowly nodding.
“We weren’t done catching up, were we?” you hummed, making him chuckle before nodding. You weren’t done with Joshua Hong by a long shot.
You knew whatever you and Jeonghan were doing wasn’t real—not really. But a part of you had started to wonder. You could feel that same warmth you’d come to resent starting to bloom, and it scared you.
pairing jeonghan x f!reader word count 24.2k tags non-idol au, college au, fake dating, enemies? to friends to lovers, humor, angst, jealousy, conflict, jeonghan being a menace, pet names, dom!jeonghan, sub!reader, teasing, a lot of making out, dry humping, fingering, big!dick jeonghan, unprotected sex, riding, missionary, hickeys, creampies, cock warming, multiple smut scenes, grinding, spanking, mention of dacryphilia, love making warnings smut, cursing, alcohol, mentions of smoking
thank you @sanaxo-o @nerdycheol for beta reading ♡
💌 check out my masterlist
You were always intimidated by Yoon Jeonghan. From the moment you first saw him in class you could tell he thought everyone was below him. The way he paraded around campus with that shit-eating grin on his face, perfect pink lips always knowing just what to say. His brown eyes seemed to always seek you out for some reason, as if he purposely wanted to get on your nerves.
So, right there and then, before even having spoken a single word to him, you decided to avoid him at all costs.
You didn’t pay him any mind for the rest of the year, blocking him out whenever you happened to catch sight of him, or whenever you heard his stupid voice in any of the shared classes you were in.
It isn’t until the second year or college that you’re forced to interact with him for the first time, being grouped together for an assignment.
Now if that wasn’t bad, you curse your luck once you realize one of the other guys in your group happened to be your lifelong crush out of all people, the loud Kwon Soonyoung.
You didn’t even know he’d been taking the same class as you, as for you hadn’t even seen him once since the start of the semester.
The worst part of it all is finding out he and Jeonghan seemed to be the best of friends, laughing amongst themselves as they entered the study hall. The last guy, Lee Seokmin, jogged behind them to catch up to them, a wide smile on his face whilst hitting Soonyoung’s shoulder.
Just great. He was a part of their little clique as well.
You'd walked into the study hall almost confidently, thinking you were adult enough to deal with Yoon Jeonghan. But Soonyoung? Your stomach churned with anxiety.
Soonyoung's eyes lit up as soon as he saw you, catching you off guard with a sudden, friendly hug.
"You know y/n?" Seokmin cocked up his eyebrows, watching his older friend nearly crush a seemingly random girl from class.
"Of course! We went to elementary and middle school together." he smiled, finally letting go of you. You hoped they couldn’t tell just how flustered the embrace had made you, your eyes blinking as you tried to regain composure.
“What a crazy coincidence! I didn’t know we’re going to the same college,” Soonyoung chuckled, shrugging off his backpack before mindlessly taking a seat next to you.
You almost pouted at his words. Whilst you were very aware of his presence, Soonyoung didn’t seem to have been aware of yours.
“Yeah, crazy.” you laughed it off, trying not to sound too awkward. “I didn’t know you were in this class…” you trailed off, blindly opening your laptop.
Seokmin exhaled an amused breath. “Because he skips all his classes.” he said, taking a seat next to Soonyoung.
“Hey, not all… I just hate Business Management.” the boy sighed, pouting as he rummaged through his worn down backpack.
You fought a smile hearing them banter, shyly looking down at your laptop screen.
"Alright, if the little reunion is over let's just start and get this over with, hm?" Jeonghan grumbled, forced to sit on the other side of you.
You tried not to roll your eyes, the two others simply humming in agreement.
It took a near hour to decide on a solid plan, taking note of all the important topics and details. The dynamic between the group of friends had you surprisingly amused to say the least, catching yourself chuckling along to the little jabs the friends aimed at each other.
"Okay, so, Seokmin," Jeonghan pointed his pen at him. "You will pick a company to help us with formulating three products." his pen moved to Soonyoung. "You'll design the logo of our website and the color scheme."
The ball point pen moved to you now. "y/n, you'll design our website. Just pick some template on one of those website builders. Make it look pretty, but please, no pink." he sighed.
Your lips pressed together, feeling slightly agitated at his words. Make it look pretty, you're sure he was aware of how condescending he sounded, not even acknowledging the fact your major was software development.
"What will you do, hyung?" Soonyoung asked, and you were more than curious to know this too.
Jeonghan clicked his pen, looking over at his friend.
"I'll set up the meetings, oversee all your work and help where help is needed." he said, slumping in his chair. You resisted the urge to roll your eyes.
The two others seemed content with his answer. You didn’t argue with that, not having the energy over some stupid class you didn’t even care for.
"Alright then." Seokmin clapped his hands together loudly, earning the attention of a few other students in the study hall. "Since Jeonghan hyung seems in such a rush to leave, let's meet up again next week?" he asked. You nodded, grabbing your backpack to put away your stuff.
"I'll make a group chat." Seokmin added, looking over to you briefly. You hummed, giving him a small smile of acknowledgement.
Jeonghan left first, and you walked out the study hall with the two other boys by your side.
"Oh my god, I'm so happy to see you!" Soonyoung nudged your shoulder lightly, gripping the straps of his backpack while he walked with you. You chuckled shyly. "Yeah, me too."
You chose not to tell him how you’ve seen him around campus countless times, feeling like a bit of a loser at the way you’d been keeping your eye on him like a young girl with a schoolgirl crush—and in a way you were just that.
"We should hang out! Do you live on campus?" he asked. You made eye contact with him, smiling at his question. "I’m over at the sorority. Are you guys in the fraternity together?"
The boys nodded. "We all are." Seokmin told you.
"You should come to the party tomorrow, it'll be fun!" Soonyoung said.
You'd sworn off drinking a while ago, not wanting it to get in the way of your studies, yet the offer sounded convincing enough, and the thought of getting closer to Soonyoung made your chest thump.
"Ahh, come on! Don't tell me you've never been to one of our parties before." Soonyoung grinned when you paused, fully turning his body to you.
A laugh escaped your mouth. "Well, I haven't. But... since you asked," you flashed him a smile, their sounds of approval hitting your ears.
"Perfect! We'll see you there, y/n." Seokmin smiled.
Your friend sneaked an arm around your waist, pulling you into her body while the two of you walked to the fraternity a few blocks over.
"I can't believe you're finally coming with me!" Your best friend Jaehee declared loudly. She squeezed your hip. "You have to see Mingyu tonight, he's so fucking fine. We’ve been texting for days now!"
You rolled your eyes playfully, not too keen on meeting one of her flings again.
When the two of you entered the fraternity, the notorious ΙΖ', you were immediately greeted by the luring smell of alcohol and weed. The large body of people were scattered all around the extensive common room, most grouped together chatting with their respective friends in the open space between the kitchen and living room.
Your face scrunched a bit trying to adjust to the loud music, your friend immediately dragging you to a corner where a group was hanging out.
"Jae!" the loud voices greeted your friend excitedly, the tallest of them instinctively putting an arm around her.
She welcomed them with a smile, moving to pull you right next to her. "Guys, this is y/n!” she grinned. “y/n, this is Mingyu," she looked at the handsome boy next to her before pointing to the others. "Joshua, Eunwoo and Jeonghan." You made eye contact with Jeonghan, his big eyes already staring back at you.
"Hi y/n, it’s nice to meet you. Did you finally decide to join us?" Joshua smiled, giving your shoulder a small squeeze. You met his gaze, his sweet eyes resembling those of crescent moons as he smiled at you.
You didn’t know whether to feel thankful your friend had seemingly been so openly talking about you, but you were happy you were being welcomed so warmly. You returned his smile, nodding before speaking, "Yeah... It looks like you got quite the party here." you chuckled.
"I told you it'd be fun!" Jaehee lighty shoved you, a loud voice suddenly interrupting your conversation.
"Hey! You made it!" Soonyoung squeezed between you and Joshua, a smile on his sweet face while he settled his gaze on you. Your body instantly became warm, and you swallowed a lump in your throat not knowing what to say. You could tell by the flush on his cheeks he was a few drinks ahead of you.
"Let's take a shot!" he exclaimed happily, handing you a full shot glass you hadn’t seen him hold before. His gaze turned a bit more serious as if he realized something, hectic eyes frantically looking around as his lips pressed together in a tight line.
His eyes lit up as soon as a certain person walked by, and he snatched a full glass of booze from their hands with an innocent giggle. "Thanks Jihoonie!" he laughed, earning him a blank stare from the guy, who carried on walking, uninterested.
You laughed as he clinked his glass against yours, downing the entire cocktail down quickly. You watched him for a second before deciding to take the shot, the bitter taste making you cringe.
The group in front of you didn’t seem too concerned by what was happening, already wrapped back up in whatever conversation they had before you and Jae joined them.
"You want another? Or maybe a mixed drink? I’m good at those," Soonyoung put his hand on your shoulder, looking at the kitchen for a moment before settling his hazy eyes back on you.
“If you don’t make it too strong,” you smiled timidly, the words leaving your lips before you could even think them over. Soonyoung gave you a sharp nod, disappearing into the crowd.
Your eyes briefly met Jeonghan again before clumsily looking over at your friend, who seemed too busy to talk to you.
“You know Soonyoung?” Joshua closed the space between the two of you again, face angled down close to yours.
You nodded. “We went to the same school when we were kids,” you told him, playing with the empty shot glass in your hands. He chuckled. “Wow, what a coincidence.” He took a drag of his vape, the fruity cloud of smoke dancing above you. You nodded. “Yeah, we were grouped together for a Business Management project.”
“Business Management? Doesn’t Jeonghan also take that class?” he looked over to his friend, who looked up at the mention of his name. You nodded, telling him Jeonghan and Seokmin were all in your group as well.
“Good luck with that.” Joshua grinned knowingly. “I wouldn’t be able to focus much with those three bickering all the time.” he snickered, looking at his friend who just rolled his eyes.
You smiled. “So far so good.” You hoped to at least get a smile from the boy in front of you, deciding the grudge you held against him might have been a little unfair to him. But Jeonghan dismissed your kindness by ignoring you completely, instead saying something to Eunwoo beside him.
You resisted the urge to show your newfound irritation, shifting your attention back to Joshua.
From the corner of your eye you saw Eunwoo nod, and the two of them left quietly, leaving you four in the corner.
Joshua really knew how to make you feel comfortable, striking up a conversation with you about your majors and some of your interests, the exchange soon shifting into your shared hobby of baking.
When Mingyu and Jae disappeared after a heated make out session you and Joshua briefly cringed at, the two of you were the only ones left. Joshua soon dragged you to the backyard to smoke, joking alcohol made him crave cigarettes.
You were seated on one of the couches outside, a full glass of alcohol in your hand that one of the hosts, Joshua’s friend, had poured you—reminding you of the drink Soonyoung had promised you before, most likely, drunkenly having forgotten about it.
Just shortly after the realization you coincidentally spotted him, and your stomach turned when you saw what exactly was going on. Soonyoung was making out with some girl on the other side of the garden, tongue and all, making you see green with jealousy.
Your innocent crush might’ve not been completely innocent—not when the sight in your peripheral vision impacted you this much.
Your glass was empty now, and you set it on the table in front of you to push yourself up. This caught the attention of Joshua, who’d been busily chatting with the random people you’d grouped up with outside for the last half hour.
“Are you leaving?” Joshua put his hand around your wrist, looking up at you with a frown on his face.
“I don’t feel so good, I need some water,” you told him, making him loosen his grip on you. You had this weird urge to isolate yourself—to flee. “Are you okay? I can get it for you.” His eyes softened upon hearing your words.
You shook your head. “It’s okay, thanks Joshua. I’ll be right back.” you shot him an assuring smile before quickly walking back inside, right past the kitchen to the corridor.
Fuck. Why did you feel so jealous over Soonyoung? It’s not like you were ever close to him.
Maybe you’d been an idiot hoping to catch Soonyoung’s attention, not when he barely paid any attention to you in the first place. He never noticed you in school. The secret glances, soft laughter you tried to hold in whenever he and his friends joked around in class. He didn’t even know you were attending the same college, for god's sake.
Now you felt even worse. You decided to walk straight outside through the front door—away.
“Leaving already?”
You jumped at the sudden voice, eyes locking with Jeonghan who you saw leaning against the white brick house. He eyed you with his arms crossed over his chest.
“Fuck, you scared me.” you instinctively pressed your hand against your thumping chest. Jeonghan seemed to observe you carefully, eyebrows furrowed like he was deep in thought.
“Everything okay?” he suddenly asked you. The question surprised you. Jeonghan didn’t seem the type to entertain people he didn’t care about.
“Um, yeah,” you responded meekly. “Just going home.” you shrugged, fully ready to walk off.
Jeonghan hummed, pushing himself off the wall to get a bit closer to you. You stopped moving, your shoulders slumping a little while looking at him. Jeonghan checking up on you was as odd as it was out of character, but continuing to want to talk to you? By choice? You were stunned.
“Let me guess,” he smiled, clearly already very amused by whatever was about to come out of his mouth. “This has something to do with Soonyoung.” He almost grinned, and his arms remained crossed as he waited for your reaction.
The look on your face only made him smile wider, looking like he had won the lottery.
“I knew I would be right.” he mumbled under his breath, chuckling in an irritating way. “I’m good at this…” he seemed amused, waiting for you to defend yourself.
You forced yourself to laugh, shifting your weight awkwardly as the stiff sound croaked out of you. “What are you talking about?” you held your breath awaiting his next words, but some part of you knew he had you right where he wanted you.
“I mean,” the look in his eyes shifted into something you couldn’t describe. “You have a thing for Soonyoung. It’s very obvious.”
Your chest felt tight. Was is really that noticeable?
“For…for Soonyoung?” you laughed as if his take had been completely wrong. “Why would you think that?” you continued, the quirk of his lip only sputtering you on more. You hoped he couldn’t notice how flustered you were becoming.
Jeonghan laughed, the nasal sound ripping from his throat surprising you. You realized you’d never seen this side to him—almost happy.
“I can help you.”
Your eye twitched. There was a brief silence as Jeonghan anticipated your response, his mouth slightly agape as his eyebrows rose.
“Huh?”
Your confusion made him giggle, dropping his arms down next to his body to fully close the space between you. “Listen,” he started, licking his lips. “I will help you get Soonyoung.” You were suddenly feeling very self-conscious having him so close to you.
“I’m not surprised he hasn’t noticed, since he’s oblivious as it is,” he continued. You looked away at his words, chewing on the inside of your cheek.
“He’s one of my best friends, so it won’t be that hard.” he hummed, taking you in.
You forced yourself to look back into his eyes, a silent exhale passing through your lips. This had to be some kind of setup. There had to be something behind it he wasn’t telling you.
“Who says I want your help?” you glared at him, furrowing your eyebrows.
Jeonghan seemed to like your answer, a wide smile spreading on his face.
“Suit yourself. I’ll tell him about your little crush myself.”
Your eyes widened a bit, looking at him in disbelief.
“Why do you even care that much, Jeonghan?” you crossed your arms, a part of you knowing very well he would happily inform his friend of your stupid secret.
“I’m bored.” he simply grinned, his expression one of an evil mastermind.
Despite already having agreed with Jeonghan beforehand, you felt nervous about sitting next to him in class. You liked sitting near the front, a bit meticulous about having little to no distractions while taking your notes and listening to whatever your teacher had to say.
Jeonghan always sat in the far back of the class, less caring about the lesson and more about doing whatever it was he was back there. You could always hear him snicker about something, probably because of Soonyoung or Seokmin, treating the hour-long lesson like their own personal bar despite already living together and practically being together most of their time.
Today you sat in the back, jumping in your seat when Jeonghan loudly dropped his bag on the table next to you. You snapped out of your daze, looking up to see the boy already smirking at you.
“You didn’t chicken out,” he observed aloud, as if he thought you would actually back out of his genius plan to catch Soonyoung’s attention. As if the threat of not listening to him didn’t come with consequences.
“I’m a little surprised to be honest.” he chuckled, sitting down next to you.
You sighed, following him with your eyes. “Why?” you decided to take the bait. Jeonghan only smiled. “Nevermind. It’ll be more fun this way.” he hummed, carelessly throwing his phone down on the table. “I already have some things in mind, you’ll see,”
You didn’t even want to imagine what he was implying, rolling your eyes before pulling out your notebook and pen.
“Aigoo.” Jeonghan laughed seeing your pastel pink pen, the top decorated with a cute little duck. Your cheeks burned.
Before you could protest he snatched it from your hand, giggling as he observed it up close.
“How cute. Did you name him?” he grinned, loving how embarrassed you looked. “No.” you hissed, trying to get it back from him. Jeonghan tsked with a smile, avoiding your hand before excitedly scooting closer to you.
He held the pen right front of you, wiggling it in front of your face as he started speaking with a high pitched voice. “Please save me from Hannie! I feel so sad without you, y/n.” he laughed at himself, spinning the duck’s head towards him.
He cleared his throat, giving the object a serious look. “I’ll keep you with me today, but I promise I will give you back to y/n later. Now, tell her goodbye.”
“Seriously?” you grumbled, watching him put the duck back in front of your face.
“Bye y/nnie! See you later!” he said in the same, annoying voice, making a loud kissing sound as he briefly pressed the duck’s beak against your lips.
“Jeonghan!” you complained, pushing his arm away as he laughed. Right as you did so, Soonyoung and Seokmin walked in, the latter visibly surprised you were sitting next to Jeonghan.
“Oh, y/n!” Soonyoung smiled, plopping down in the seat in front of Jeonghan. You smiled at him, suddenly feeling very conscious of Jeonghan’s little plan—which he failed to explain the exact logistics of.
“Hi guys.” Seokmin greeted. He sat down in front of you, his back turned to you as he rumbled through his backpack.
“Hyung, didn’t you say you disliked y/n?” Soonyoung asked, leaning over the backrest of the chair as he looked at his friend obliviously. By his tone you could tell he didn’t mean it in a bad way, he was genuinely interested. Soonyoung always had a way of blurting out whatever he had on his mind.
Jeonghan cocked up his eyebrows, giving you a quick look that was met with a subtle glare. “What? Of course not.” he coolly dismissed his friend’s words.
Soonyoung had a subtle pout in his face, looking around as if he was thinking for a moment. “But you said she’s-“
“I don’t dislike y/n.” Jeonghan roughly cut him off, giving him a stern look. Soonyoung giggled, giving you a warm smile that had you malfunctioning for a moment “I think it’s good you’re becoming friends!” he said, then quickly turned around when the teacher announced herself.
“I’m not too fond of you either, you know.” you grumbled lowly to Jeonghan, making him chuckle. “Aw, did I hurt your feelings? I’m sorry. Promise we’ll have a great time together from now.”
You rolled your eyes again. “Whatever.” you sighed in defeat, forcing yourself to pay attention to the class.
The lesson carried on like normal, but your mind kept wandering. You were a little worried about whatever Jeonghan had in store for you, fearing the worst. How would he even be able to help you with Soonyoung? Was this all some ploy to embarrass you in front of his friends?
Deep in thought, you failed to notice Jeonghan leaning into you, flinching when he suddenly put his hand on your knee. “Thinking of me?” he whispered. His breath hit your ear, making the hairs on your arms stand up.
“What are you doing?” you asked quietly, keeping your eyes on the teacher and hoping she wouldn’t notice what was happening.
“Don’t you trust me?” Jeonghan’s voice carried a hint of amusement, and you could practically hear him smile as he spoke. “No.” you admitted quickly. Jeonghan chuckled. “Relax, this is all part of it.” he gently squeezed your knee, making you pout a little. The action had you meet his eye, yet you barely turned to him, not wanting it to seem like you were talking to him in the middle of class.
“Come closer. You have to at least put in an effort if you want Soonyoung to think we’re dating.” Jeonghan whispered, pulling you closer towards him by your knee.
Your eyes widened, looking at him in bewilderment as you felt his side pressing into yours. “D-dating?” you almost gasped. “Yeah?” Jeonghan said as if you were stupid. “How else do you want to catch his attention?” he said, like it was obvious this is what you were going to do from the start.
“Like, suddenly? It’ll be weird.” you mumbled, ignoring the heat radiating off his body. Jeonghan shrugged. “We don’t actually tell anyone we’re ‘dating’. They just need to speculate that there’s something going on between us—and it's Soonyoung. He’ll believe anything.” His hand moved from your knee to hang over the backrest of your seat, trying to appear somewhat close to you.
“Watch.” he looked at the front of the class for a moment before leaning back in to reach your ear. “Look at our teacher. Don’t you think it’s funny how she always wears those ugly shoes with that gap between her big toes?” you caught sight of what he was talking about, wheezing at his description. “The loafers? They’re kinda popular right now…”
Jeonghan smiled. “They look like hooves. Hideous.” that made you laugh, catching Soonyoung briefly looking back at the two of you. “I want to burn those ugly horse shoes so bad.” he continued, very aware of his friend now paying attention to you.
“Guys,” Soonyoung whispered to the two of you, a little smile on his face. “Ignore him.” Jeonghan whispered.
“Popular or not, I need them gone.” he continued as if he didn’t hear Soonyoung.
“Hey, guys,” Soonyoung said a bit louder, leaning over.
“Hmm?” Jeonghan cocked up his eyebrows, turning his head to the boy.
“What’re you laughing at?” he asked, hoping to join in on the fun. You allowed yourself to look at Soonyoung now too, waiting for Jeonghan to speak.
“Huh? Oh, nothing…” Jeonghan giggled, putting his hand on your shoulder. Soonyoung pouted a little, softly nodding before looking back in front of him again, figuring whatever you were whispering about wasn’t anything of importance.
“See?” Jeonghan lowly said, a smirk tugging on his mouth. You didn’t reply, watching him play with your pen in his free hand.
You couldn’t focus for the duration of the class, looking down at your blank notebook realizing you hadn’t been taking any notes, despite Jeonghan putting his pencil on your desk. His fingers played with the fabric of your shirt, not paying you any mind as he listened to the teacher.
After the hour-long lesson Jeonghan waited for you to gather your stuff, Soonyoung and Seokmin already exiting the classroom as per Jeonghan’s request to not wait up for him.
It felt oddly good getting all this attention suddenly, despite it coming from someone you had disliked for a year. Jeonghan really wasn’t as bad as you’d made him out to be, and a part of you liked being included in his circle and getting closer to him. It also made you nervous, never fully knowing what to expect from him.
“That was… interesting.” you told Jeonghan, looking up at him. He stood next to you with his arms crossed over his chest. You zipped up your bag, starting to walk out of the classroom with him. “Of course, told you it would work.” Jeonghan simply said, slowly walking through the hallway. “It would’ve even been better if you weren’t so awkward.” he sighed, looking at you. Your neck burned a bit, avoiding his eyes. You hadn’t realized you were being awkward.
“Meet me at the frat after you finish all of your classes.”
“What?” you frowned at his words.
Jeonghan had a blank look on his face. “Am I speaking french? You have to get used to us being together.” he said almost boredly, halting in front of your next class. You blinked at him before slowly nodding. It wouldn’t hurt to make it seem more believable. “Alright.” you said quietly.
The corners of his mouth rose, winking at you before starting to walk off.
“See you later!” he called over his shoulder, leaving you to ponder on what he’d planned.
A strange feeling settled in your stomach as you waited for Jeonghan in front of the big house, looking around the street observantly.
The street wasn’t too busy, but there was a different atmosphere over at the frat row. The possibility of seeing all these boys—probably all friends with each other—was enough to make you nervous. You didn’t trust them, and you weren’t convinced any of them would see you as their equal—not for any societal reasons per se, but because you barely made any noise in the typical tight-knit college community on campus.
It had been different being together with your friend last weekend, a fickle but comforting energy knowing you weren’t alone, even if it had only been for a little while before she disappeared with Mingyu. You’d had time to settle.
Safe to say you felt out of place this time around.
The sudden sound of the door opening then drew your attention.
“There’s my little ducky.” Jeonghan grinned, motioning for you to come in. He laughed at the look you were giving him, slamming the door shut before leading the way.
Your worries seemed to melt away already, but you still felt somewhat nervous at the possibility of having to meet new people.
“You still didn’t give me back my pen,” you told him as you blindly followed. He smiled as he walked past the kitchen to the hallway, looking back at you for a moment. “I’m keeping it,” he said casually.
You sighed in defeat, more focused on your surroundings than to give him a proper reply. The house was mostly quiet, and thankfully you didn’t see anyone apart from hearing muffled voices from whatever room you were passing by.
“Could you walk any slower?” Jeonghan cocked up his eyebrows waiting for you to enter the opened door of his bedroom. You rolled your eyes at him.
Once inside you started to become aware of where he’d taken you, looking around his room while chewing on your bottom lip.
It looked like any other ordinary bedroom, spare for the few knick-knacks and the collection of shoes in the corner. There were tubs of skin care and school books on his desk, and some discarded clothes draped over his chair.
“So… is Soonyoung home?” you asked carefully, not really sure why you were in his bedroom with him.
“No,” Jeonghan said as he took a seat on his bed, simply watching you.
You looked at him, gulping. “Oh…” you said softly, progressively getting more flustered as he held eye contact with you.
Jeonghan chuckled, motioning for you to come closer. “Come here,” he extended his arm, patiently waiting for you to grab his hand. “This is just practice. You have to get used to us touching, ducky.” he smiled cheekily, watching you hesitantly close the space.
He had a point. You told yourself it wasn’t a big deal, but you still felt overwhelmingly nervous as you grabbed his hand. Vulnerable. As you felt his skin, you noticed how long his eyelashes were, the sharp inner corners of his big eyes complimenting his pretty brown irises. His hand felt warm, but you felt weird. It was strangely intimate for some reason, and you wondered if he thought the same.
“Don’t be so tense, y/n. Just act like you normally would.” he chuckled, pulling you closer than you already were, now standing between his parted thighs. You didn’t have anything to say to that, trying not to show how nervous you suddenly felt.
“Why are you looking like that?” Jeonghan cocked his head to the side, reading you for a moment. “Don’t tell me you’ve never had a boyfriend before,” he grinned, already convinced this had been the reason for your silence.
He laughed when the ghost of a pout appeared on your lips, almost making you want to pull your hand away if it weren’t for him already tightening his grip on you.
“Cute. That’s why you’re so shy, hm?” he smiled with a wicked glint in his eyes. “Don’t mock me.” you mumbled, rolling your eyes before looking away. Jeonghan laughed again, shaking his head. “I’m not.” he lied, smiling in amusement.
“Whatever,” you said, your eyebrows scrunched together as you looked at him again.
“Hey, don’t be mad, ducky. I told you it’s cute.” Jeonghan hummed, suddenly wrapping his free arm around your waist and pulling you onto the bed with him.
You gasped in surprise, bracing a hand on his chest as he pulled you closer, both arms wrapping around you as you lay curled on your side.
“You scared me!” You whined, hitting his chest. “Ow!” Jeonghan giggled, smoothing a hand over your hair. “Sorry.” he chuckled. “C’mere.” he softly urged your head to his chest before stroking your hair.
You sighed in defeat, ignoring the knot in your stomach. “You asked me to come over to cuddle?” you sulked, not seeing why it would be of importance.
“Yes? Things like this matter if you want us to be believable.” Jeonghan sighed, looking at you. You met his eye for a second, resisting the urge to roll your eyes again before looking out in front of you instead.
“I don’t even know why we’re doing this. I doubt it will work.” you murmured, unconsciously nuzzling your cheek against his chest. Your cheeks burned as you realized what you were doing, hoping Jeonghan wouldn’t make fun of you for it.
Jeonghan purposely tugged on the ends of your hair a bit too hard, earning him a glare whilst he just smiled. “It’s a shame you still don’t believe in my expertise.” he exhaled a long breath as if he was disappointed. “You have to be all in if you want this to succeed, ducky.” he smiled.
“Stop calling me that,” you mumbled. “And If I remember correctly, you didn’t give me much of a choice, Jeonghan.” you then grumbled, making him laugh for a moment. You could feel his chest shake.
“Still,” he said, ignoring your first words.
You sighed. “Right.” you agreed. You just hoped it would be enough to interest the boy you’d liked since childhood.
“I swear if you embarrass me…” you then added, looking at Jeonghan.
He blinked slowly, just looking at you for a second. “Of course not.” he said in more seriousness, and you realized that’s all you wanted to hear from him.
You slowly nodded. “Okay.” you almost whispered, giving him a little smile. Jeonghan smiled back at you, resting his cheek against the side of your head.
You were both silent after that, finding comfort in each other’s embrace. It felt nice, having someone to finally hold you.
But the comfort unsettled something, too. Truth is, you were a very lonely person. In your twenty-something years, you’d never had anyone pursue you romantically. Which you told yourself was fine—at first. But as the years passed, and those who took an interest in you somehow always ended up disappearing, you began to think something must be wrong with you.
Still, the loneliness didn’t mean you lacked feeling. That had been the whole problem. You loved deeply, too much, sometimes so much that your fingers shook with it. It pulsed deep within you, burning to engulf and to take and keep taking. You were ashamed of the enormity of your desire, disgusted almost. You were scared that if you’d ever get a taste, you’d feast. You’d devour until nothing remained, only yourself and the wounds of your greediness.
You thought yourself to be destructive, not to be trusted with even a sliver of it—even if a pair of warm arms around you had been all you’d ever wanted.
You’d become too much one too many times in the past, and no one wants someone who’s too much. You told yourself love probably just wasn’t meant for you. Maybe you didn’t deserve it. At least not in this lifetime.
You knew whatever you and Jeonghan were doing wasn’t real—not really. But a part of you had started to wonder. You could feel that same warmth you’d come to resent starting to bloom, and it scared you. You didn’t want to mess up again. Didn’t want to scare away the one person you were starting to let in.
You blinked away tears, not because of your pain, but because Jeonghan’s embrace was bringing you so much comfort.
“This feels nice.” you whispered, feeling a bit stupid for suddenly saying something so vulnerable.
Maybe you really were greedy—doing all this to try to get Soonyoung, when you were convinced he would never want you anyway. Or if he did, he’d end up leaving just like everyone did.
Jeonghan hummed, oblivious to how emotional you suddenly felt. He kept stroking your hair. “Do you want to take a nap, ducky? I’m getting a bit tired,” he admitted, chuckling. You nodded against his chest, happy at the opportunity to have him like this a bit longer.
Jeonghan pulled you even closer, sighing against your hair after closing his eyes. You carefully put your arm around him.
You tried not to overthink it anymore, closing your eyes to try to sleep.
Not long after, Jeonghan’s breathing started slowing, and the hand that kept stroking your head now rested somewhere in your mess of hair. The rise and fall of his chest gradually helped lull you into sleep with him.
Soft humming filled your ears, waking you up with a frown as you blinked in confusion. The sweet and airy sounds continued as you looked up at Jeonghan, suddenly remembering where you were.
Jeonghan met your gaze once you moved, the light from his phone behind your head illuminating his face as he stared back at you. He couldn’t contain his laughter seeing your tired face, letting his head fall back as he put his phone down.
You only sighed before pushing yourself up, too dazed to curse at him already.
It seemed like Jeonghan hadn’t moved at all as you were sleeping, silently scrolling on his phone while he had patiently waited for you to wake up. Whilst you had a nice nap, you couldn’t help feeling a bit embarrassed—and maybe ashamed—about letting yourself get so comfortable around him already.
It took a lot of you to feel at ease around others, and you just hoped Jeonghan wouldn’t take advantage of your vulnerability despite his reassuring words.
“You woke up at a perfect time, sleepyhead.” Jeonghan smirked at you, watching you rub your eyes.
“Why?” you asked with a frown, the boy copying you by sitting up as well. He grabbed his phone again, crossing his legs before showing you the live location of a food delivery driver entering the street.
“You ordered food?” you looked at him. Jeonghan smiled, eyes closing in a slow nod. “I’ll be right back, ducky. Don’t miss me too much,” he tapped your nose playfully before pushing himself off the bed, chuckling at you rolling your eyes as he sauntered out of his bedroom.
Jeonghan returned within a minute, flashing you the plastic bag with a smile before sitting on the edge of the bed.
“I got us burgers.” he announced, pulling out two white wrappers and a bag of fries to put in between you.
Jeonghan ate a fry, humming as he chewed while opening a packet of ketchup. “Are you hungry?” he asked, grabbing a couple of fries again. You nodded, unwrapping your burger slowly before meeting his gaze again.
Jeonghan cocked up his eyebrows, smiling as he watched you. “What’s going on in that little head of yours?” he asked in amusement.
You sighed, frowning for a bit as you searched for your words.
“Do you think… we’ll even convince him?” you asked him hesitantly.
Jeonghan cocked his head to the side. “Of course we will. You don’t think so?” he took a bite of his burger, nodding his head towards yours to get you to eat already.
“I’m not sure,” you sighed again before looking down at your cheeseburger, choosing not to further bother him with your insecurities before finally taking a big bite.
He could tell you had more on your mind than you led on, carefully watching you as he chewed his food. Jeonghan chose not to ask too many questions—not yet.
After finishing your food you headed back to the sorority. It was dark out, and if you stayed out for much longer your sorority sisters would undoubtedly start asking questions you didn’t want to answer.
As you left the frat you thought about how different Jeonghan really was compared to how you’d perceived him. He was funny, and more importantly, he was kind. So kind he’d given you his jacket so you wouldn’t get cold on your walk home. It felt good being around him, as though you were finally seen. Really seen.
You zipped up the dark blue jacket, the back adorned with big white ΙΖ' lettering, smiling to yourself like a creep as you thought about all of the dumb jokes Jeonghan had fed you the whole night.
Soonyoung sipped on his diet coke as he watched Seokmin and you work on your assignment, brown irises flickering between the two of you as he sat in silence.
He didn’t notice the familiar jacket you’d purposely left on the table next to your laptop, or how awkwardly your frame shifted in the stiff chair beneath the buzzing lights of the study hall.
You hadn’t been in contact with Jeonghan all day, assuming you’d see him again at the group meeting. Only he hadn’t shown up, the boys beside you mentioning how he’d told them he had been too tired to leave the house.
It had only been half an hour since you’d started working on coding a website for your three product skincare line—a task that would be a whole lot easier if Soonyoung and Seokmin had done their part of the assignment. Which they hadn’t.
At least you’d gotten somewhere today. The basics weren’t hard, you’d already finished most of the HTML structure and some basic CSS. To continue you needed to know what products you’d use—Seokmin’s task—and the color scheme and logo that would represent your website—which was what Soonyoung had to do.
You reminded yourself you all had the whole semester to finish, so for now you could relax. But you felt anything but relaxed, your body on edge in the presence of Soonyoung.
The screen of your phone lit up, your jaw ticking when you read the message.
Yoon Jeonghan: go flirt with him ;)
You accidentally met Soonyoung’s gaze, forcing yourself to give him a stiff smile. Soonyoung smiled back at you, straightening up in his chair before motioning to your laptop.
“Can I see?” he had a hopeful look on his face, his chubby cheeks growing in size as he smiled wider.
Jeonghan’s words echoed in your head, sending your pulse racing. Your stomach felt tight, gulping before you nodded and turned the screen to him. Why was this so hard?
“Oh! You did all this?” Soonyoung scanned the simple website you’d created, easily impressed by your abilities.
You nodded. “Yeah… It’ll look better after we have a logo and stuff,” you rambled, watching Soonyoung slowly pout. “Right,” he giggled, exhaling a soft breath. “I’ll get us a kick-ass logo soon, promise.” he smiled, making Seokmin chuckle in amusement. He obviously didn’t have much trust in his friend.
You called it a day soon after, feeling a bit defeated as you had no idea how to go about this. Sure, it was one thing to fake-date Soonyoung’s best friend, but without Jeonghan you had no clue how to act in front of him. You felt lost.
Things were basically the same as before—strictly friendly. That was it.
You sighed in defeat at the scene in front of you. Small groups of random students you didn’t recognize sipped on their cheap bottles of beer, chatting away without a care in the world.
“We won’t be long,” Jeonghan bumped your shoulder, already reading your mind. He smirked at the glare you were sending his way. “We just need to be seen together.” he explained for what seemed like the nth time, making you hum uninterested.
The frat seemed to get rowdier by the minute as Jeonghan poured you a drink in the kitchen. A special drink, or how he’d called it.
You didn’t want to admit it, but you were feeling nervous. It was the first time you’d so openly be seen together with Jeonghan. And you were still doubting all of it.
It wasn’t only the inquisitive eyes of strangers you dreaded—or Soonyoung’s, it was also the fact that your best friend would come.
You had no idea how you would convince her you’d randomly started dating Yoon Jeonghan out of all people, afraid she’d see right through you. How could she not?
Jeonghan handed you a glass with an almost black liquor, cocking up his eyebrow at you as he waited. You accepted it hesitantly before taking a big gulp. You figured you needed alcohol for this anyway.
“God, what’s in this?” you cringed at the heavy flavor, making the boy next to you laugh.
“You’ve never had jagermeister?” he snorted before bringing the rim to his quirked lips.
“Straight?” your eyes widened, watching him swallow down the drink.
“No, silly. I added coke.” he smiled, the essence from the liquor coating his lips.
You rolled your eyes, relaxing as he put his arm around you. “Calm down, ducky. You’re so on edge today,” he observed aloud, softly squeezing your shoulder. You only sighed, scanning the body of people before you.
Almost immediately, you made eye contact with Jaehee, who excitedly walked up to Jeonghan and you. She seemed pretty smug when she noticed Jeonghan’s arm around you, tilting her eyebrows playfully as she got closer.
“Hi y/nnie, Jeonghan,” she grinned. Jeonghan gave her a courtesy nod, smiling politely as he slid his hand down to rest atop your waist. The sensation of having his hand there caught you off guard for a moment.
“What’s all this? You know you’re not supposed to mix business with pleasure, right?” She teased, awfully surprised at the seemingly random pairing.
You didn’t question her reaction. Despite her not knowing about the grudge you’d held against Jeonghan for well over a year, she was very aware of your crush on Soonyoung. Which made Jeonghan and you together somewhat odd.
“Guess the cat’s out of the bag,” Jeonghan chuckled, pulling you closer to kiss the top of your head. “Had to pull out all of my charm for this one,” he continued, and you admired how well he was playing his role.
“Oh, i’m sure. You got the pick of the litter, Yoon Jeonghan,” Jaehee winked at you as she talked you up.
Her eyes easily found Jeonghan again. “But, make her sad once and see what happens.” Her lips pressed together in a straight line.
Jeonghan smiled, looking down at you as if you were the only one in the room. “I wouldn’t dream of it.” he almost whispered as you met his eye. You only blinked at him, not knowing how to respond before he chuckled at you and softly nudged your cheek with the back of his fingers, leaving the skin tingling from his touch.
“I have to restock the coolers real quick before the beer bros start complaining,” Jeonghan squeezed your waist before letting go of you. “I’ll give you two a minute.” he smiled, patting your head before walking off.
“What the fuck?!” Jaehee yell-whispered at you as you watched Jeonghan disappear. You had to remind yourself to act natural. This was all a part of the plan, after all.
“You’re dating Jeonghan? How did that happen?” Jae crossed her arms over her chest, a pleased smirk forming on her glossy lips.
You gave her a smile. “Oh, you know…” you brushed it off, chuckling.
“Is this why you’ve been so off lately?” she asked, shaking her head in amazement. You frowned as you took a sip of your overpowering drink. “I haven’t been off,” you told her after finishing your glass in one gulp.
“You so have!” she giggled, pushing your shoulder playfully. You only laughed, shrugging. “Maybe.” you pouted, giggling at the expression she was giving you.
Jaehee shook her head again in amazement, turning to the kitchen island to pour herself a drink.
Though you did feel bad for lying, you tried not to think about it for now. You’d tell her eventually, after all of this would merely be a funny memory you’d laugh at looking back.
“So,” she started, turning back to you with a mischievous grin. “Did you have sex with him yet?” she leaned in, reading your reaction carefully.
“Jaehee…” you rolled your eyes and laughed, trying not to seem too caught off guard at the question. The thought of it brought goosebumps to your skin, and you reached for the bottle of vodka on the counter to mask the shaky breath you suddenly had to let out. You needed it for emotional support anyway with Jeonghan not there to do the talking for you.
“Oh, come on! You got your first boyfriend and you want me to be cool about it?” she sulked.
“I don’t want to jinx anything yet,” you told her coolly, chuckling at her sighing out loud. “Fair.” she smiled sweetly, dropping it for now.
Soonyoung hadn’t spared you a second glance after his initial greeting—a mere wave—off laughing with Seokmin and some random girl for what had already felt like hours.
Jeonghan had been gone for a while already, and you were starting to feel restless without him. You blamed it on the scene in front of you—the way Soonyoung’s laugh echoed far too loudly at whatever the girl was telling him, his arm deliberately brushing her shirt. Your skin prickled almost painfully at the sight as you tried to pay attention to Jae’s rant about something Mingyu had done.
Still, Seokmin was right there. Equally as loud, friendly, exactly the buffer that should’ve made all of this easier to stomach. And yet… it didn’t. The restlessness lingered like a breath you couldn't fully release. An itch you couldn’t reach.
You kept glancing over at Soonyoung, but the longer you looked, the less you recognised him. The somewhat quiet, awkward kid you used to know felt like someone else entirely now. You were beginning to fear that you were chasing a past version of him, one that didn’t even exist anymore. You realised you were looking through the lens of someone who used to know him.
Maybe you were just doing this all wrong. Maybe if you were louder, or bolder—better, you wouldn’t be feeling this defeated.
There was a dull, stubborn ache in your chest that kept on growing, one that you couldn’t ignore no matter how hard you tried. The thought of doing all of this without even knowing if you still even wanted it stung, and all you wanted was to flee. All you wanted was for Jeonghan to make you laugh again.
“Fuck, okay—I’m gonna go find him,” Jaehee sighed after getting out all her pent up frustration, taking the remainder of her drink as a shot. “I’m going to confront him—remind him I’m a bad bitch who doesn’t take shit. Wish me luck.” Her jaw stiffened, eyes scanning the room to catch sight of Mingyu.
“Good luck, girl,” you forced a smile. You really didn’t want to be by yourself right now. But you didn’t say anything, watching her sigh before getting lost in the crowd.
You had the perfect opportunity to leave the party, walk the short route back to the sorority and simply call it a night. The alcohol had made you tired anyway.
Yet you found yourself sipping on another drink on the couch.
You were hoping Jeonghan would come find you. Whenever you were with him you seemed to forget about everything that gnawed at you. He was quickly becoming your comfort in all of the chaos you felt. Maybe he was the cause of it, too.
As if on cue, you spotted the long-haired boy in the sea of people. “There you are,” he said when he got close enough. His voice soothed you, and you already felt a bit better. Jeonghan slotted himself next to you on the couch with a low groan, his warm hand finding your knee as if it were natural.
“What’s wrong?” he squeezed you when you didn’t greet him. You shrugged.
Jeonghan looked at you for a moment, his big eyes reading you. “Is this about Soonyoung?” he blinked.
You exhaled a breath. “It’s stupid.”
“Probably,” he said, earning a glare. Jeonghan only smiled.
“C’mon, tell Jeonghannie,” He put his arm around you, pulling you closer to him.
“I hate that.” you grumbled at the way he was referring to himself, making him chuckle. “Stop moping, little ducky,” he began stroking your hair..
You sighed, chewing on your bottom lip. You just looked at him for a moment, his features softening as he noted your hesitance.
“I don’t think I can do this,” you said carefully, frowning a little. You felt vulnerable vocalizing what’d been plaguing your mind, but somehow it eased the weight off your shoulders too.
His brown eyes didn’t leave yours, sympathy growing on his handsome face. Jeonghan then softly hummed in acknowledgment. “Why do you think that?” he simply asked.
You sighed again, looking away. “Just… It’s stupid—I don’t have a chance with him anyway,” you mumbled, making Jeonghan cock up his eyebrows.
“Huh? Of course you do, silly,” Jeonghan softly shook you, smiling at you sparingly. He wondered why you continued to put yourself down.
You looked at him, doubt clear on your face. “I don’t think so.” you shrugged. It was Jeonghan’s turn to sigh. “Well, you’re wrong.” he fixed a stray strand of your hair, putting the lock behind your ear.
You chuckled bitterly. “I’m not his type. I’m not… confident, or assertive… no one ever likes me,” your jaw tightened a bit as you spoke, your throat closing up.
Jeonghan frowned at you, pausing for a moment. “That’s not true y/n,” he shook his head, observing you carefully. “Like, not at all.” He sighed before gently nudging your chin, looking at you. You softly pouted, not really knowing what to say.
“Do you even know how lucky he’d be to have you?” he added, his sweet words only making you somber.
“He’ll see that too, so don't try to act like someone you’re not. You’re already perfect.” Jeonghan reassured you, holding your chin to keep you from looking away from him again. You swallowed a lump in your throat.
“Such a pretty girl…” he then hummed with a smile, only making things worse. You hated how much his words impacted you—how easily they reached the parts of you you tried to keep hidden.
“He’d be such an idiot…” he whispered, taking you in carefully.
You avoided his gaze, unable to repress the tears that were starting to form in the corners of your eyes. You didn’t know why it hit so hard—maybe because you wanted to believe it.
“Aigooya,” Jeonghan reached out to dry your tears. “Don’t cry on me, little ducky,” he pouted before giving your cheek a soft squeeze, slowly starting to smile.
“I’ll talk you up to him, okay? I promise.” he assured you. You blinked away your tears and exhaled a breath to compose yourself, nodding as you gave him a little smile.
“Good. Now, don’t be sad—or Jaehee will scold me for being a bad boyfriend.” he sighed, making you chuckle in the middle of all of this.
“I’m okay… thank you, Hannie.” you sniffled.
Jeonghan cocked his head to the side at the nickname you’d given him, smirking in amusement. “I already got a nickname? I must be good at this fake boyfriend thing.” he teased you, laughing when you pushed him.
“Ow!” he giggled. “Keep teasing me and I might start thinking you actually like me,” Jeonghan grinned, making you roll your eyes. “I’m not teasing you.” you tried not to smile.
“Oh? Calling me that is teasing, ducky.” he put his arm around you again, smiling as he pulled you into his embrace, this time keeping you there.
“You call me that stupid nickname every two seconds and I’m the one teasing?” you looked up at him, your cheek resting against his shoulder as he kept you close.
“I never said I wasn’t,” Jeonghan smirked, almost challenging you to say something back.
You could feel your face starting to heat up, not knowing how to get back at him. There was a brief pause between the two of you.
“You know,” Jeonghan then whispered, momentarily looking behind you before his sharp eyes invaded yours again. He licked his lips before glancing at yours, and the subtle action made you slightly nervous. “I know just how to get people’s attention,” the corner of his mouth rose, waiting on how you’d react. Now you were getting really nervous.
Still, you didn’t know what to say.
Jeonghan looked perfect as he studied you, like he already knew what you were thinking. You were terrified he might. Your quietness, your hesitation… you were convinced it only enticed him. But what if you were just imagining the sudden heaviness hanging in the air?
“What, you don’t want to kiss me?” his lip threatened to curl up again, though he tried his best not to.
Oh.
You blinked at him in surprise, too afraid to assume that he was actually serious.
“Jeonghan…” you whispered shyly, feeling your heart beating out of your chest.
Jeonghan knew you weren’t saying no—he could see it in your eyes, in the way you were looking at him the same way he had been looking at you. You wanted to. He wasn’t dumb. But you were simply too timid to initiate what he’d been alluding to.
He then gently cupped your cheek, fingers burning against your warm skin as he slowly leaned in. His lips parted in a pleased smirk noticing the hazy look hiding behind your eyes, thumb swiping your cheek to lure your blown pupils to meet his, commanding your full and uttermost attention. You melted under his touch, watching his long lashes fan his cheeks as he closed them, before his lips finally met yours in a soft but long kiss.
The party was all a blur by now, fixated on the feeling of Jeonghan’s lips and his body leaning into yours. You felt hot, and maybe not just because of the alcohol in your system. Just when you started to fear he’d pull away, Jeonghan purred against your mouth, holding you tighter before tracing a line on your bottom lip with his tongue. You let him take the lead, let him do as he pleased as he left you whimpering with a mere tug of his teeth.
You realised he’s messing with you even now, feeling him smile whenever he gets a sound out of you. You didn’t care this time, finding your hand suddenly clutching his shirt at his side as Jeonghan deepened the kiss, hearing the wet smacking sounds even over the music you had already tuned out.
You kissed Jeonghan back with equal fever. You were vaguely aware of people watching—You didn’t care. You didn’t want to stop. You moaned into his mouth at the sensation, a mess of spit and teeth that had your cheeks burn with anticipation.
It all felt a little too real—but maybe if you convinced yourself it was as real as it felt, others would believe it too. Even if Soonyoung didn’t see what was happening, word would spread eventually.
Then, he stopped.
“Let’s go to my room,” Jeonghan whispered, linking your fingers together before getting up and pulling you with him.
You only nodded, ignoring the quiet sting of something unfinished as he led you through the body of people, away from the rowdy living room.
You’d gotten what Jeonghan had promised—something to make all of this seem believable. And getting seen leaving together was the icing on the cake.
Your lips still tingled from the kiss, though you tried not to show how much Jeonghan had unraveled you as you entered his bedroom together. You were finally away from the party, and you could let yourself relax now. You exhaled a breath you hadn’t realized you were holding before smiling, feeling Jeonghan’s eyes on you as you kicked off your shoes and crawled onto his bed.
“Mission accomplished,” you joked, lying down with a groan and stretching out your limbs to get comfortable.
Jeonghan didn’t respond. You watched him crawl onto the bed after you, mirroring your movements. You smiled at him, expecting him to roll onto his back next to you—only to freeze when he climbed on top of you instead.
Jeonghan kissed you again. Only this time he didn’t intend on stopping.
Your breath hitched against his lips, hands finding his shoulders as you let him.
The way his weight pressed into you made your head spin, like you were his for the taking.
His elbows framed your face, soft, long hairs brushing your face—you couldn’t think anymore. You didn’t want to think anymore.
“Jeonghan—“ you finally whispered, your body on fire as he shushed you with a long peck. You suppressed a moan and squeezed his shoulder in vain at the way he kept sucking and biting your bottom lip, a veil of pleasure spreading through every inch of you.
“Jeonghan—Wha-what are you doing?” you managed to stutter through your haze, feeling yourself practically glued to the mattress.
Jeonghan cupped your cheeks, giving you a long peck. “Can’t help myself. Y’re just so cute,” he mumbled before kissing you again, sighing when you started kissing him back.
The tips of his fingers found your skin under the hem of your top, brushing your hip almost hesitantly as if you could pull away at any moment, like any wrong move would bring you back to your senses and have you slip away from him.
You pulled him closer, sighing at the feeling of his hand slowly stroking up your side. Your back curled autonomously at the gentle caress, pressing your head into the pillow as Jeonghan ground his hips against yours.
Nimble fingers pulled up the cup of your bra, plumped pink lips pecking your ajar mouth as he squeezed your breast. You spread your thighs wider for him before pulling on the ends of his hair, kissing him hard as you started panting at the friction of his groin grinding against your clothed cunt.
“Hannie…” you whispered, curling your back again.
“Yes, ducky?” Jeonghan asked softly, rolling your nipple between his fingers.
“Please…” you gulped, letting go of his hair to pull at the hem of his shirt.
You’d never fake dated before, but you were sure you were breaking every rule in the book.
Jeonghan slowly started kissing down to your neck, only stopping to rid himself of the fabric you wanted gone. His smooth back felt soft as you shyly traced a line over the fair skin, eyes closing with a sigh when he sucked on a particularly sensitive spot where your neck met your shoulder.
“Is this still okay?” Jeonghan whispered against your skin, his fingers splayed over your exposed stomach where your top had ridden up, softly kneading your waist. You nodded, and he softly moaned when your nails brushed the nape of his neck, tangling gently in his long hair.
You guided his lips back to yours, all signs of modesty ignored, evident in the way your tongue nastily demanded his.
“Fuck.” Jeonghan breathed. “Can I touch you, baby?” he asked, squeezing your waist while his thumbs pushed down against the waistband of your jeans. Eagerly, you nodded. “Yes, please,” you mumbled against his lips, feeling the corners of his mouth tug up.
You sucked on his bottom lip to silence any potential sneer that would follow, smiling at the hushed curse that followed.
Jeonghan kept kissing you as he undid the button of your jeans, fingers dipping into the fabric to tug them down to your knees.
The short sensation of his body grinding against you had already left a mess between your legs, leaving a subtle dark patch on your panties.
You didn’t give Jeonghan much of an opportunity to pull away from you, mewling against his mouth at the sudden feeling of his fingers slowly starting to rub your clit.
Your body started meeting his touch, hips following his movement as your jaw slacked.
Jeonghan softly hummed, brown eyes fixated on your face as he kept pecking your top lip.
“More, Hannie…” your chest tightened when you met his eye, a heavy veil settling over your body as the weight of what the two of you were doing sank in.
Jeonghan looked down at you, taking a beat too long to respond as if he had realized the exact same thing. Then he smiled—almost smirking before applying more pressure.
You moaned, squeezing your eyes shut for a quick second before giving him a hard kiss. You softly shook your head. “More.” you told him again, a short wave of anxiety seeping through your body that instantly disappeared again when he dipped his fingers inside of your panties, finally touching you where you needed him.
“Is this better?” he whispered, smiling when you gave him this look, begging for him to kiss you properly again.
“Yes,” you said almost inaudibly, your nails raking over the back of his neck at the feeling of his soft lips pushing against yours.
He circled your clit with his thumb, his fingers taunting your burning entrance.
You spread your thighs even further, hoping it would lead to him pushing his fingers deep inside of you already.
Instead, Jeonghan took his time teasing your clit and entrance, thumb pushing into your nub as two of his fingers brushed against your wet hole.
Your hands slid to his cheeks, cupping his face before moaning into his mouth. You could feel him smile at the sounds he was inciting out of you, only spurring the both of you on more.
His digits pushed against your entrance, starting to dip inside of you before stopping right when you started to feel your entrance burn. They slipped back against your wet entrance, a chuckle rolling out of his throat when you exhaled a breath of frustration.
“Say please,” Jeonghan purred against your lips, now completely abandoning your core to gently pinch your clit. You exhaled another breath, brows furrowing while your cheeks grew hotter.
“Jeonghan…” you whispered, squeezing his shoulder in hopes of having him give in to you.
“Come on, just like you did before,” he continued, failing to hide how much he enjoyed the reaction he had on you.
You sighed, feeling as if you were cloud nine as he started nibbling on your bottom lip.
“Please…” you gulped, imagining his long fingers pushing inside of you.
“Good girl,” Jeonghan mumbled, his hot tongue finding yours before he did just that, two digits starting to slowly enter you. A moan filled the air, your breath hitching as your pussy stretched to accommodate his fingers.
He moved them at a slow pace, opening his eyes to watch you wither under him. A sight he didn’t want to ever forget.
“Does that feel good, ducky?” Jeonghan whispered, brushing your lips with his. You quickly nodded, trying to keep kissing him despite the overwhelming pleasure that kept building, putting you in a trance.
He went a bit faster, forehead touching yours as his eyes remained glued to your face. Your eyelashes fanned your cheeks, lips twitching and mouth unfurling with every delicious drag of his fingers.
“Mmnh!” you whimpered and bucked your hips when he circled your hard clit, making your thighs twitch at the friction. You tightened around him, clutching his shoulder and pulling him flat against your body as some sort of anchor.
You gasped for air, sliding a leg over his hip before pushing yours up, chasing the orgasm you felt approaching quickly.
Jeonghan kissed your nose before going even faster, dying to watch you come around his fingers.
You bit your lip, squeezing your eyes shut as pleasure bloomed inside of you, consuming you as you reached your high with another loud whimper.
“Fuck,” you moaned, sighing as your thigh unhooked from his hip and slid back down on the mattress.
Jeonghan kissed your cheek, slowly pulling his fingers out of you before sucking them clean while looking at you. He had you speechless.
“Are you okay?” Jeonghan asked softly, your eyes fixated on his plump lips. Slowly, you nodded, feeling slightly unsure as you pecked his lips. Jeonghan smiled.
“You’re cute,” he chuckled, fixing the wild strands of your hair before moving to push himself up. Your hand quickly found his bicep.
“No.” you slipped out, eyes wide and hazy as you looked at him.
Jeonghan tilted his head, blinking slowly. Then he smiled in amusement. “Aren’t you tired, baby?” Jeonghan teased you, his muscles relaxing as he found his previous position again.
You shook your head.
“Do you… do you want to?” you asked a bit unsure, only hoping you weren’t embarrassing yourself. What if the moment was just that—a moment that had now passed.
Jeonghan laughed, giving you a chaste kiss.
“Are you serious? Do you even know how hard I am right now?” he chuckled when you replied with a nod, stroking your cheek with the back of his hand before pushing himself up at last.
You watched him unbuckle his belt, admiring his pretty body whilst he rid himself of his pants. Your eyes followed a path down to his boxers, swallowing a lump in your throat at what you were seeing.
You didn’t expect just how big he were, even with the dark piece of fabric that was still covering his manhood.
“Are you gonna take it off for me?” Jeonghan asked you, his sultry voice and bedroom eyes making your chest thump. Those eyes of his would have you do anything he asked of you.
You suddenly realized you were still lying down with your pants half on, shyly tugging them down together with your panties before discarding them on the floor. You kneeled on the bed, crawling over to where Jeonghan was to push him down and settle between his thighs.
He watched you slip off your top over your head, your bra thrown on the growing pile to the side.
You bit your lip as Jeonghan admired your naked body, his hand reaching out to stroke your thigh.
“You’re so pretty,” he whispered, squeezing your skin. You gave him a small smile, trying to exhale a controlled breath as your fingers splayed over his lower tummy.
“You’re pretty too.” Your lip twitched, eyes leaving his to glide down his figure, your digits hooking into his boxers to pull at the stretchy band.
“Thank you, ducky.” Jeonghan hummed, licking his lips as he watched you get him fully naked.
Your lungs filled up with air when you saw his large cock, the tip glistening and leaking pre-cum already. You weren’t sure if you were able to fit all of him inside of you, and the mere thought of it sinking deep inside made you gulp. In a good way.
Quickly, your hand wrapped around the base, your lips parting as you leaned down a little to let a glob of spit drip down onto the red tip.
Jeonghan sighed, his eyes narrowing as he watched you carefully.
You spread the wetness all over his length, the dirty sounds filling the air even over the subtle music off in the distance. Jeonghan’s body relaxed under your touch, his mouth slightly open as he breathed deeper.
The sight in front of you had your cunt tighten around nothing. You didn’t care that you weren’t supposed to do this. Right now you needed to feel him.
Jeonghan’s hands found your waist, his breath hitching when you straddled him and fisted his hard cock to align the tip against your folds. You kissed him, softly moaning against his lips as you ground your cunt against him.
Slowly but gradually, you started sinking down, a mixture of your moans filling the air.
He was so big, and you struggled to accommodate his thick tip. “Slow down.” Jeonghan groaned, throwing his head back to release a filthy whimper as you ignored him and did your best to keep going.
“Fuck,” you moaned, clencing around his size fruitlessly. You held his shoulders to support yourself, your hips stuttering when you finally sat down on him. You exhaled a shaky breath before rolling your hips, the overstimulation killing you.
You moaned again, feeling him press right onto your G-spot.
He looked so effortlessly pretty like this. The strands of his long hair framed his face, tongue peeking out from plump lips as his chest adorned a new red-colored flush. You could feel him tighten his grip on your waist, big eyes watching you.
You found a steady rhythm, trying your best to keep yourself from cumming already—which proved to be harder than anything.
A yelp came out of you when his thumb brushed your clit just like before, your jaw slacking at the newfound pleasure running through your body. “Fuck, Jeonghan,” you gulped hard, biting your lip and moaning when he thrusted up once to meet you.
“You feel so fucking good, ducky,” Jeonghan moaned, yanking you down by your shoulder to have your chests meet. He put an arm around you, keeping you pressed against you as he planted his feet down on the mattress to fuck up into you. You whimpered hard.
“Sorry, sorry, just need you now,” he groaned, his cheek pressing against your crown.
You squeezed his shoulders, whimpering uncontrollably as he kept a head-spinning pace. You pressed your mouth against his neck, making him curse as your teeth found his skin.
Jeonghan gripped your ass, kneading the skin as the filthy sounds echoed through his bedroom.
Anyone walking past would be able to hear what was happening, and yet you really didn’t care. You were sure Jeonghan didn’t care.
Your body felt on fire, the feeling of his hands gripping you to keep you from moving leaving you breathless.
Then, he rolled you onto your back, pinning your arms above your head by your wrists as he started fucking you again. Jeonghan licked his lips, watching you wither under him with a pair of hazy eyes to match his.
God, he was big. He stretched you out so deliciously, so perfectly. You squeezed your eyes shut when his mouth encircled your nipple, sucking and biting carelessly to take you apart even further.
“Fuck. Gonna cum soon. Can’t take it anymore,” Jeonghan groaned, sucking and leaving a train of love bites from your tit to your neck. You bit your lip and nodded, sighing at how full you felt. You were right there with him, your muscles burning and your cunt pulsing as that familiar feeling spread through your body.
“D-don’t pull out.” you gulped, curling your back before moaning.
Jeonghan gave you a kiss. “Have to, baby,” he told you, trapping your wrists with one hand as the other one found your clit again. You whimpered and squirmed under him, weakly shaking your head.
“Please?” you sighed, bucking your hips. Jeonghan groaned as his lips found yours, his breath hitching.
“God—Are you sure?” he asked, his thrust becoming sloppy.
You nodded soundlessly, feeling like you were floating. As if the world around you didn’t exist.
“Yes, Hannie,” you hooked a leg around his waist, making the both of you moan in each other’s mouth.
Jeonghan felt even deeper now, massaging your bundle of nerves until he felt you starting to cum around him. He cursed at the feeling of your tight pussy gripping his cock, your body going slack against his. He stilled as his warm cum started filling you, softly moving to fuck his release deep inside.
You curled your back in pleasure, exhaling a long breath as you relished the dizzying feeling.
Jeonghan let go of your wrists to cup your cheek, pressing a long kiss on your parted lips before resting his face in the crook of your neck. He stroked your sides as he tried to catch his breath, planting more soft kisses there as his hips slowly moved against yours, before finally stopping.
You stayed like that for a moment, feeling Jeonghan’s chest rise and fall as his cock remained lodged inside of you. Only when you started to feel your mixed release dripping from where you were joined he slowly lifted his hips to let his cock fall out of you.
You bit your lip at the feeling, already missing the closeness you shared.
Jeonghan sat up and fixed his hair before helping you up, holding your hand as he wordlessly walked to the bathroom with you.
“Are you okay, ducky?” he asked softly after running the shower. You gave him a smile, nodding. “I’m good, Hannie. Are you?” you asked him, your smile growing when he nodded.
“Of course,” he squeezed your cheek before signaling for you to enter the shower, watching you step inside before following you.
Sunlight warmed your face, the fraternity oddly quiet compared to the night before. You rubbed your tired eyes before turning to an already awake Jeonghan, blinking at the ceiling as if he was deep in thought.
“Hey,” you said softly, cuddling up next to him.
Jeonghan smiled, putting his arm around you.
“Hi ducky.” he sweetly rubbed your back, tracing patterns on his shirt you were wearing.
You tried not to think too much about what had happened between you two. You weren’t ready to face the consequences of your actions yet, not today at least.
“Do you think Soonyoung saw us?” you then asked him quietly, tilting your head.
Jeonghan got quiet for a moment, momentarily stopping the tracing on your back as he looked at you.
“Yeah. Probably.”
“I think so too,” you hummed, resting your face against his chest. “Hopefully,” you added before smiling, closing your eyes again.
“Right.” Jeonghan looked at you, his fingers finding your hair again.
You didn’t realize how quiet the room had gotten again.
The distant laughing and shouting from the group of boys running around at the school’s football field brought a surprisingly comforting atmosphere–almost calming as the ball got kicked around from left to right.
Your eyes easily found Soonyoung’s figure. He was hard to miss. Maybe you were just naturally drawn to him, despite the doubt that had started growing inside of your head.
It had merely started as a tiny seed, a speck of uncertainty that had grown into something bigger—clouding your mind ever since that day not long ago. The same day where you ended up sleeping with Jeonghan.
It had only been a few days since then, but you just couldn’t figure out why you were starting to fear this plan of Jeonghan somehow working.
It’s not that you had even an inkling of trust in this plan—that hadn’t progressed one bit, mind you—It was just that Jeonghan seemed to have some kind of magical power to get whatever he wanted.
He was alluring. A pretty face that knew just what to say and when to say it was truly a deadly combination. You were sure he could convince you to jump in a ditch if he smiled at you right.
Maybe you were right to enjoy your time with Jeonghan while you figured out what you really wanted. It was no use to put an end to it now—not when your new friendship with Jeonghan was making you feel a lot happier than you’ve been for the past few years. Nothing wrong with that, right?
“Keep still,” Jeonghan teasingly pulled you back by your lock of hair he was braiding, snapping you out of your train of thought.
“Ow!” you complained with a pout, giggling when Jeonghan tsked at your obvious exaggeration.
You were sitting in front of his body with your legs crossed, plucking at the blades of grass that tickled the palms of your hands.
“Didn’t you like football, Hannie?” you frowned as your eyes followed the flock of boys running around, ignoring how he sighed whenever you moved too much for his liking. He hummed, carefully tying the bottom of your braid before finally letting go of your hair.
You quickly turned your head, Jeonghan watching your braid snapping to the side as you looked back at him.
“Then why aren’t you playing?” you asked him, watching him chuckle at you before carefully moving your braid over your shoulder.
“Can’t I spend time with my girlfriend?” he smirked at you, laughing when you rolled your eyes. “I’m being serious,” you sighed, scooting to sit next to him. “Me too.” Jeonghan grinned, draping his arm around your shoulder right as Soonyoung giggled in the background. You briefly glanced at him, exhaling in amusement as you watched him laugh, running to the other side of the field with others hot on his heels, kicking the ball in the direction of the goal.
Your eyes naturally found Jeonghan again, watching the corners of his mouth lift up as you made eye contact. For some reason the energy felt heavier in this moment, and you were overly aware of how close you were sitting. You could feel his chest expand as he breathed, smell the peach shampoo off his dark hair—or the subtle peppery, bergamot scent from his perfume that mixed in whenever he moved.
You gave him a half-smile before quickly diverting your gaze down back to the grass, routinely pulling at the blades again.
“Did you—Did you ever talk to him?” you scrunched your eyebrows momentarily as you broke the silence, shortly looking at Jeonghan before watching the blades of grass in your hand get carried away by the wind.
“Hm?” Jeonghan leaned into you at your question, his fingers finding the end of your braid to toy with.
“I mean—Did you talk to Soonyoung for me?” you clarified, looking at him sparingly.
“Oh—right. Yeah, I did,” He told you, making you kind of worried with the way he didn’t share more.
“And…?” You asked unsure, feeling more and more insecure by the second. Even the possibility of catching Soonyoung’s eye after all of these years brought goosebumps to your skin.
“He said you’re insanely cute,” Jeonghan told you, watching your reaction.
You blinked in surprise, your lips forming a subtle pout as you took in his words. Slowly, you nodded, flashing Jeonghan a small smile. “Really?” you asked him, caught off guard. Jeonghan nodded, making you giggle by squeezing your cheek. “Yes, really. I mean, who could ever resist you? It was bound to happen eventually,” he shrugged, making you cringe and bump your shoulder into his chest.
Truth was, Jeonghan was lying straight through his teeth. He had never talked with Soonyoung about you after making his promise to you. He was never planning on it, either. He didn’t know why, but for some reason he just didn’t want to. Maybe it was selfish of him, but he didn’t want to put an end to this fake relationship. Not when being with you felt like remembering something warm from a dream he didn’t want to forget.
“Hey guys!” Soonyoung exclaimed happily as he ran up to Jeonghan and you, a football tucked under his arm. “Did you see me score?!” he carelessly dropped the football before plopping down on the grass in front of the two of you, letting the ball roll a bit before settling beside him.
“Oh, of course we did Soonyoungie!” Jeonghan smiled at him, and you felt his hand find your shoulder again as he fed him the little white lie. “You did so well,”
You watched Soonyoung, his cute eyes progressively getting smaller upon getting praised by his older friend. He giggled sweetly, meeting your eye as he smiled open-mouthed, like a puppy waiting to get a treat.
“You were great,” you nodded at him, your body responding to having him in front of you after finding out what he’d supposedly said about you.
“Thank you, y/n!” Soonyoung giggled again, pouting in satisfaction. He looked almost shy, yet his demeanor quickly changed when he realised he actually came to ask something.
“Oh—Mingyu and I were thinking of cooking some meat and having drinks at home. You guys are coming too, right?” he looked between Jeonghan and you, his face relaxed as he expected you’d say yes.
You opened your mouth to answer, but Jeonghan started speaking right before you got the chance to. “We are actually about to head to y/n’s place, right ducky?” Jeonghan asked with his mouth dangerously close to your ear, his fingers starting to stroke your shoulder over your top.
You looked over at Jeonghan for a second before looking at Soonyoung. “We were?” you blinked dumbly before realising Jeonghan had made it up on the spot. He chuckled. “Yeah, we were going to work on the project for a bit,” he simply said, and if you didn’t know any better you’d believe him.
“Argh, the project?” Soonyoung scratched behind his ear, smiling playfully.
“Mhm,” Jeonghan only smiled.
“Well, maybe you guys could come after? Seungcheol hyung got us a bunch of weed, it’s gonna be fun!” Soonyoung pushed himself up from the floor as he boasted about tonight, hoping to convince his hyung.
“Yeah, maybe,” Jeonghan said uninterestedly, patting your back before the two of you mimicked the blonde-haired boy and got up from the grass.
As you walked the opposite direction of Soonyoung, exiting the somewhat crowded football field while bumping shoulders with Jeonghan, you found yourself sneaking a look at his pretty face.
His big eyes always drew you in, making you smile as you called his name. There was a hint of playfulness behind his eyes as he looked at you, as if he’d already predicted your action.
“Work on the project?” you only said, cocking up your eyebrow in curiosity.
Jeonghan chuckled, shrugging. “I want to hang out with you,” he admitted. “Just us two.” he added, smiling. “Why, did you want to be with Soonyoungie?” he smirked, his hand bumping against yours. He looked down for a second before looking back at you.
You looked away, failing to hide your smile. “I mean, isn’t that the whole reason why we’re doing this?” you chuckled, hearing him silently giggle. “Sure,” he hummed, smiling cheekily.
Jeonghan silently grabbed your wrist when the distance between you became too big for his liking, closing his eyes in a smile when you looked up at the sudden touch.
“We can go hang with them later, how does that sound ducky?” Jeonghan asked, his tone one of a kindergarten teacher affirming a small child. You hummed, and when Jeonghan silently linked your pinkies together you tried to remain calm. Collected.
“We’ll see,” you said, sneaking a look down at your hands.
Jeonghan almost grinned when he noticed, liking how you tried to act cool, as if you felt normal about it. Only, you could tell what he was doing, mustering up your courage to convince him you did feel very much normal about linking pinkies with him.
“You do know Soonyoung isn’t around, huh?” you gave him a look, smiling when he did too.
“I know,” he simply said. “But others might see us. It’s called being prepared, baby.” he purred, making you roll your eyes, though you couldn’t hide your amusement even if you tried.
“Whatever.” you sighed, making the corners of Jeonghan’s mouth twitch.
“Are you just going to stand there or are you going to help me?” you narrowed your eyes at Jeonghan, who was currently busying himself with smelling each bottle of perfume you had in your possession.
“Found my favorite,” Jeonghan turned to show you the perfume you usually wore, taking his time spraying it on his wrist and letting it dry down before smelling it on his skin. He sighed in contentment, smiling before setting it back.
“It smells best on you,” he concluded with a small shrug before finally walking towards you, sighing when he actually saw you with your laptop open.
“You really want to work on the project?” He took a seat next to you on the bed before crossing his arms over his chest. You gave him a look. “You mean the project you haven’t worked on for a single minute? Yeah,” you looked at him, making Jeonghan throw his head back in a sigh. “You know I’ve actually helped a lot, smartypants.”
You chuckled. “Yeah, by bossing us around maybe.” you cocked up your eyebrow at him, making Jeonghan scoff in disbelief. “Alright, Miss know-it-all. What have you done, then?” he sighed, smiling at you.
You shrugged, letting him snatch your laptop from your lap. He scrolled through the webpage that was open, brows furrowing slightly as he took everything in.
“Wait, ducky, did you code this?” he looked at you, slightly raising his eyebrows as he waited for your reply. You only nodded.
“Huh,” he exclaimed, blinking at the screen. “How did you do that? Isn’t that like—hard?” he frowned. “I didn’t know you could do this,” he continued, a smile growing on his lips.
You rolled your eyes at him. “Well, I am majoring in software engineering, Jeonghan,” you explained, watching a pout grow on his face.
“Wow, I didn’t know that. How did I not know? You’re so talented, y/nnie,” Jeonghan smiled cheekily, pinching your cheek in affection. You whined as you slapped his hand away, laughing at him. “You never asked,” you chuckled, feeling a little shy.
“Mhm, you’re right. I guess I didn’t…” he clicked his tongue, remembering how he had never really spoken to you prior to getting paired together for the project, how getting to know you had been the least of his worries back then.
He smiled watching you trying not to sulk, finding it cute that you were obviously thinking about his past indifference as well.
“M sorry about that, ducky. I know I annoyed you a lot in the past,” Jeonghan looked at you, fingers instinctively finding your braid again. He ran the pad of his thumb down the textured hair, his eyelashes fluttering as he blinked slowly.
You rolled your eyes playfully, the corners of your mouth tugging up as you realized how much you despised him then. That same smirk that used to irk you whenever you caught Jeonghan’s mischievous expression from the back of class was now the very reason you felt so alive.
“You still annoy me,” you bit your lip trying to hide your smile, laughter bubbling from your throat when your words seemed to catch him off guard, his mouth opening in an ‘o’.
“You’re so gonna regret that.” Jeonghan smirked, quickly setting aside your laptop to tickle you. You let out a scream, trying to squirm away as his fingers crept up your sides to your armpits.
“Jeonghan! Stop!” you laughed, your body instinctively flinching from the attack.
Jeonghan giggled, his eyes almost manic as he relished in the reaction he was getting out of you. “My god, I don't think I’ve ever gotten you this loud, ducky,” Jeonghan smirked, getting one more squeal out of you before allowing you to grab his wrists to stop him.
The boy in front of you definitely did not realize how his words evoked a certain memory with you, cheeks growing hotter as you’re forced to replay the images you’d been actively pushing away for days.
You let go of his wrists when he spoke, “Alright, let’s work on this project then,” he hummed, completely oblivious as he opened your laptop.
You caught yourself looking directly at his mouth, a shameful kind of tingle spreading through your body. You forced your eyes away, looking at your lap instead. You missed his mouth, his kisses. You think you could kiss Jeonghan for hours if he let you. Oh my god, focus, you thought to yourself.
“You okay?” Jeonghan cocked up his brow as he noticed your tense body. You nodded.
“God, I hate this. Okay, whatever,” Jeonghan trailed off as he scrolled through your notes, already dreading having to waste his energy on school. “Did you know I once bribed a teacher so I didn’t have to do a group project?” he briefly looked up to catch your reaction, hiding a smirk as he started typing something.
“What?” You barely caught what he said, gulping when he started laughing out loud. “Just kidding. But it sounded quite believable, right?” he licked his lips, a lock of his hair falling in his eye.
You were sitting so close to each other. You only had to lean in and you could experience the same dizzying sensation of meeting his warm lips again.
So, you did. Jeonghan blinked in surprise when you gave him a chaste kiss, high on adrenaline and drunk on your desires, not giving him a chance to react before kissing him for a second time.
A part of you felt like crying, unable to place all the different kinds of thoughts and feelings that were whirling inside of you. It was all so unfamiliar, and you felt too vulnerable. If Jeonghan were to reject your advances you were afraid of how it would all manifest.
“y/n—“ Jeonghan’s words got muffled when you kissed him again, pushing your laptop away from his lap to kiss him properly.
His hands found your cheeks, tongue eagerly meeting yours as his body crowded you until your back met the mattress. Before you knew it he was already on top of you. “You little minx,” Jeonghan mumbled jokingly, squeezing your face before kissing you harder.
You knew you probably shouldn’t have initiated anything, but it all just felt so natural. You kept kissing him, sucking on his bottom lip before teasingly biting the supple skin. Jeonghan groaned, gripping your shoulders to keep you pinned below him.
“Thought you wanted to go see Soonyoung?” Jeonghan asked, moaning when you purposely tugged on the ends of his hair.
You shook your head, taking in a sharp breath when Jeonghan broke the kiss to tentatively encircle your throat with this hand—softly—just to see your reaction.
He seemed oddly surprised to see the aroused look in your eyes, smirking as he softly leaned in—only to stop right before his lips made contact with yours. He giggled meanly when you tried to kiss him back, a brief veil of shame tingling your body.
“Aw, you wanna kiss me that bad?” he cooed, pouting at you mockingly. Jeonghan loved to have you like this, all shy and nervous. So unsure.
“Are you not gonna answer me, ducky?” Jeonghan tightened his grip on your neck a little, biting his lip as he smiled cockily watching your eyes widen. Only, he easily could tell you wanted more.
“You like this, huh?” he grinned.
You tried to nod. “Like anything u do, Hannie,” you admitted, making him mumble a curse in response.
Your words only spurred him on more, and a euphoric feeling spread through his body as he watched you sprawled out underneath him with his hand fanned out over your throat. The sudden high caught him off guard.
He gave your nose a soft kiss, softly pulling away to look at you. He paused for a moment before letting go of you, smiling apologetically when you seemed confused.
“What’s wrong?” you whispered, frowning.
He sighed. “I don’t know about this, ducky,” Jeonghan slowly turned on his side and moved a lock of your hair from your face, not quite knowing why he suddenly felt this odd feeling brooding inside of his chest.
You mimicked him by turning on your side, staying quiet for a moment as you thought. “Do you… regret what happened?” you whispered, suddenly feeling insecure.
Jeonghan shook his head. “No. No, baby. You know I want to—It’s just—We shouldn’t, you know? We’re only…” he sighed, not finishing his sentence.
You slowly nodded, but you really didn’t care about what was right and what wasn’t. You didn’t want to say it, but you having sex had been because of Jeonghan initiating first. It was his fault, so you really didn’t care.
You leaned in to peck his pout. “I know… I do, just—just for a little bit, Hannie,” you got even closer, the tops of your fingers grazing his chest before finding their way down. Jeonghan stroked your cheek before leaning in to softly kiss you again, sighing as your hand brushed over his crotch.
Despite knowing what was right, he wanted this too. Jeonghan needed to have you. Over and over again.
He began to undo your jeans as your hand slipped down his, smiling as you started stroking his hardening cock.
Jeonghan moaned at the feeling of your hand pumping his length, biting his lip whilst the tips of his fingers teased your slit over your panties.
“No teasing.” you warned him, earning a knowing grin from the boy in front of you.
“Alright,” he released a shaky breath, fingers easily finding your wet clit to play with.
You were both still laying on your sides, and your head tipped back as pleasure bloomed inside of you. Jeonghan took the opportunity to kiss your neck, his teeth dragging across your skin to incite a gasp from you.
“More, Hannie,” you whispered, angling your hips for him.
Jeonghan sucked the skin under your ear, keeping his fingers at a set pace without straying from your bundle of nerves. He knew you’d be asking him for more soon, and that’s exactly why he didn’t plan on giving in just yet.
You squeezed his cock at the lack of response, making him meet your eye as you began moving your hand faster. You could just tell by the look he was giving you he was up to something, sighing at him in pleasurable annoyance.
You went even faster, earning a high-pitched whimper from Jeonghan, who still didn’t give you what you asked for.
Agitated, you halted all movement to hook your leg over his hip, pressing your lips against his while starting to grind your cunt against his hard cock.
Jeonghan firmly grabbed your hip, moaning against your lips as he grinded with you.
Your tongue slipped into his warm mouth, your arms encircling his head to keep kissing him.
Annoying, suffocating clothes found the floor, your bodies quick to find each other again after discarding all of the pieces of fabric.
“Fuck,” Jeonghan mumbled against your lips. He squeezed your ass, helping move you against him till the both of you were left panting in each other’s mouths.
“Please, Hannie. M-more,” you moaned at the friction of his length gliding between your pussy lips, his tip rubbing your clit as his balls pressed against your entrance.
Still, Jeonghan wanted to tease you. An image of you crying, begging for his cock haunted his head, and he needed to see that come true with his own eyes right this moment.
“Can’t,” he said between kisses, making you whine.
“Hannie…” you tried again, nibbling on his bottom lip.
Jeonghan smacked your ass hard, gripping your skin as he moved you harder against him. You moaned at the pain and pleasure, your hand finding a lock of his hair to hold onto.
“Y-Yes we can.” you softly tugged on his hair, commanding his attention. You pecked his lips softly, hoping to get what you wanted.
Jeonghan chuckled in amusement, spanking your ass again. “No.” he said, smiling at the hiss leaving your mouth.
He took notice of you getting agitated instead, figuring if he wanted you to cry for him he needed to fuck you to tears instead.
“Hurry, Jeonghan.” you complained in annoyance, having had enough of his games. Jeonghan hummed, giving you a soft kiss before moving a hand down to grab his hard cock. “You’re so needy,” he said in amusement before aligning his tip with your entrance, only getting a breathless sigh in response.
He sheathed himself inside of you in one go, moaning at the feeling of your pussy. Oh, how he’d missed this.
You whimpered at the stretch, hooking your leg tighter around his hip so it wouldn’t slide down.
Jeonghan started kissing you roughly before beginning to thrust, wrapping his arms around you to keep you pinned against his body. You moaned against his lips, gripping his locks for support as you relished in the feeling of him fucking you.
Still, he had this urge to be even closer to you, though he didn’t know how. Jeonghan rolled you on your back, looking into your eyes as he set a slower, much deeper pace.
“Hannie…” you sighed, cupping his cheeks to give him a long kiss. Jeonghan smiled at you when you pulled back, resting his forehead against yours as he kept going.
He suddenly felt the need to be gentle with you, to show you how much you had started to mean to him in such a short period of time. He couldn’t stop looking at your face—at the way your jaw tightened every time he bottomed out, or how your mouth opened and closed autonomously. Your drawn eyebrows twitched with every sound spilling out of you, the sounds like music to his ears.
You wrapped your legs around his waist, your hips stuttering at how deep he was. “Don’t stop,” you moaned, putting your arms around his torso. You bit your lip as you looked up at him, Jeonghan’s fingers slowly stroking up your side before he wrapped his arms around your body too. You looked at each other, room quiet apart from your mixed pleasure, together with the forgotten sounds of the bed creaking. Rhythmic, deep thrusts brought you both closer to the edge, your breathing getting louder as you forgot about the outside world. Or the situation you were in.
As you came around Jeonghan with a guttural moan, he found himself losing control. You pressed your lips to his, nails digging into his back at the peak of your orgasm. Jeonghan spilled inside of you next, holding you tighter with a groan to match yours.
Your body squirmed, hips slowly grinding against him as you came down from your high. You peeled your lips from Jeonghan, who tried to catch his breath as you gave him a smile.
Somewhere there, he contemplated if he’d just made love to you, blinking through his haze. Did he? Did you think so too?
He gave your cheek a peck before rolling off you, feeling your warm body seeking his. “Tired?” he asked, stroking your shoulder. You hummed while nodding, putting the covers over your bodies.
As Jeonghan lay on his back, catching his breath and watching your blinking, tired eyes grow heavier, it suddenly all made sense to him. The stubborn unwillingness to push Soonyoung to ask you out, the selfish need to keep you close for just a tad longer, or the odd knot in his stomach whenever he looked at you.
His eyes found your soft lips, swollen and chapped from kissing you for what felt like hours. Your mouth shyly curled up as you snuggled against him, the soft pads of your fingers stroking his chest before nuzzling your cheek against his arm. Your naked bodies pressed together, seeking closeness despite still feeling hot from the sex.
He felt it as he looked at you. A warm feeling spread through his chest, reaching every corner and crevice of his body.
Jeonghan had fallen for you.
Before he could stop himself he gently lifted up his hand to stroke your cheek, resisting the urge to sigh when your eyes closed instinctively.
He also realized he had been sabotaging your chances with Soonyoung—not intentionally, of course. Or maybe it was.
Fuck, he felt bad. He felt like an asshole for being so selfish. For falling in love with you.
A part of him screamed at him to just keep going like he had been. Just for a little bit. But it felt unfair to you, despite how much he liked spending time with you. It had been so easy making you a part of his life, his routine—as natural as breathing. He didn’t want it to end.
But he knew you were doing this for one reason only. It was his problem he had fallen for you, and from now on he knew he had to help you.
You were amazing, funny, and smart—And Soonyoung would see that too. He knew he would. He had to. And even though Soonyoung had never explicitly brought you up, you were insanely cute.
“Hey, y/nnie?” Jeonghan whispered, secretly hoping you would be already asleep.
“Hm?” you opened one eye before the other, making Jeonghan smile weakly as he started stroking your hair.
He almost couldn’t get the words out, his voice seemingly stuck in his throat. He forced a cough. “Maybe it would be a good idea to ask Soonyoung out yourself,” he suggested, his tone devoid of sincerity.
You blinked at him, your brain barely functioning with how tired you felt.
“Really?” you whispered, failing to hide the frown creasing your brows. The words almost hurt your stomach. Even if you wanted to, you didn’t think you’d have that kind of courage.
“Yeah. I forgot he’s kinda terrible at making the first move. He can be shy like that. He will definitely say yes, though,” Jeonghan nodded, giving you a smile.
Slowly, you nodded too. “I hope so.” you mumbled, making Jeonghan chuckle.
“I know so. Told you he thinks you’re cute,”
“Alright,” a smile slowly spread over your face. Jeonghan did know Soonyoung best, and if he thought it would work then you would at least try to gather your courage.
“Thank you, Hannie.” You kissed Jeonghan’s cheek before closing your eyes again, relaxing against his warm body as he pulled you closer.
You couldn’t help but feel sad it would really be over like this.
After three whole days of contemplating on how to approach Soonyoung, you were at a loss. It also didn’t help that Jeonghan hadn’t texted you at all in the last couple of days, which was unlike him.
You chewed on your bottom lip as you sat outside on a school bench, ignoring the background noise as the people around you went on about their day.
You really missed Jeonghan. And although you realized you had probably only played a small role in his life, and you had only started to get to know him for a short time, you grieved the time you spent together.
You exhaled a long sigh.
It didn’t matter anymore. This had all been for Kwon Soonyoung anyway.
You had spotted him twice in the last few days. Once on campus, and once sitting outside on the same bench you were sitting on now.
You were hoping he would walk by and spot you, and the conversation would flow naturally from there. A part of you was nervous you would actually see him, afraid you’d shut down and not know what to say, make a complete fool of yourself.
At least you’d have your answer then. You could go back to your boring life to study and not go out again in the safe bubble you’d lived in your entire life.
That had been your life, and you were happy with it. But now, the thought of going back to the way things were seemed boring to you.
No, you needed this to work. You were done sabotaging yourself.
All the doubt, the anxiety, the newfound reluctance that had been growing—it was all merely fear of change. Fear of stepping out of your comfort zone—and maybe, even fear of happiness.
This had all been so scary for you, so new and intense. But it would all be worth it soon. You prayed it would be.
“y/n?”
You snapped out of your haze to find Joshua standing in front of you, his lips curled up in a kind smile.
“Oh, Joshua,” you straightened your back and smiled back at him, noticing the black-rimmed glasses sitting on his nose. Jeonghan had once joked about him wearing them as a fashion statement, and you had to stop yourself from suddenly laughing in his face like a freak when you noticed the lack of lenses in them.
Thankfully, Joshua didn’t notice the weird smile showing on your face.
“How are you doing? I heard you’re getting cosy with Jeonghan these days,” he smirked as he sat down next to you.
You shyly chuckled, shrugging. Though Jeonghan had audibly called what you were doing ‘fake dating’, the two of you had never explicitly mentioned the D word to anyone. Just to avoid scaring off Soonyoung.
For some reason you felt bad for lying to Joshua. You felt like you had genuinely connected with him at the party, and though you hadn’t spent much time with him outside of that one night, you had this urge to tell him the truth.
He wasn’t just Soonyoung or Jeonghan’s friend anymore, he felt a little like yours too. You trusted him.
“It’s nothing,” you told him with a sigh, still pondering on what to do. Maybe a fresh perspective could give you some insight. You kinda needed someone to talk to about this, and what you and Jeonghan did was in the past now anyways.
“Oh? Sure doesn’t seem like nothing with those raunchy hickeys Jeonghan was walking around with the other day.” Joshua had a mischievous twinkle in his eye, and for a split second you could see Jeonghan in him. Maybe that's why you felt like you could be honest with him.
Your face heated up, trying to suppress a smile as Joshua grinned at you.
“Joshua, can I…tell you something? And promise it stays between us two?”
Joshua cocked up his brow in curiosity, but nodded nonetheless. “Of course,” he told you.
You let out a deep sigh. “Jeonghan is helping me get with Soonyoung,” you said carefully, afraid of what Joshua might think. “It’s just for show, or whatever.” you added, watching Joshua cross his arms over his chest.
“You’re not really together?” he asked, making you hum.
“So it’s all for Soonyoung? It’s him you like?” he frowned, and you nodded at him.
“Gosh, and here I thought Jeonghan finally stopped hiding that thing he had for you,” Joshua chuckled, shaking his head. You frowned at him. “Guess I was wrong,” he sighed with a smile.
“What thing?” you leaned into him, cocking your head to the side.
Joshua paused for a moment, blinking. “You know, the teasing in class, trying to get your reaction,” he explained as if you were aware he had actually been targeting you.
“What do you mean? He never teased me.” you frowned.
Joshua laughed at that. “Sure he did. He talked about you a lot, you know. How he loved getting a reaction out of you. You really never noticed?”
You pouted, confused. “I mean, he did annoy me. But I didn’t think it was targeted to me. I don’t think it was.”
Joshua laughed again, his eyes turning smaller as he did. “It definitely was,” he told you in amusement. “I always suspected he had a little crush on you, but he would never admit it to me. Just said he liked teasing you,” Joshua shrugged. “Guess I was wrong, since he’s helping you with Soonyoung.”
Slowly, you nodded. “Right,” you agreed. But there was an odd feeling in the pit of your stomach thinking about the concept of Jeonghan having a ‘thing’ for you.
“You sure looked convincing, though. I’ll give you that. You’ve got everyone fooled.”
His words didn’t reassure you like you had hoped they would. You and Jeonghan needed to look like you were into each other, but not too much. Because would Soonyoung really give you a chance if he thought Jeonghan and you were serious?
“What do you think I should do? Maybe this whole thing has gone too far already,” you chewed on your bottom lip, panic seeping through your body. You should’ve stopped after making out with Jeonghan. And you really shouldn’t have had sex with him. The speculation alone would be dangerous for your potential with Soonyoung.
Joshua put his hand on your shoulder. “I wouldn’t worry too much, y/n. Just go hang out with Soonyoung? If it feels good go ask him out.”
You sighed. “Alright,” you nodded. “I will.”
Joshua chuckled and pushed himself up, fixing the strap of his leather crossbody bag before briefly looking down at his phone to check the time.
“I’ve got to run. Tell me how it went?” he cocked up his brow.
“Okay.” you smiled a little. “Thanks, Joshua,”
Joshua winked at you, turning his body before quickly stopping himself and looking back at you again.
“Oh, and y/n?” he failed to hide a grin. “Try not to sleep with your fake boyfriend.”
You didn’t know how to react as he walked off theatrically.
As days passed, and you found yourself making more and more ridiculous excuses as to not approach Soonyoung, a sudden golden opportunity fell right in the palm of your hands.
Maybe you manifested it, since you hadn’t stopped daydreaming about all the different ways the talk you’d inevitably needed to have would turn out.
You were listening to some music as you did some minor grocery shopping, the basket in your hand filled with an array of fruits, vegetables, and a scandalous amount of snacks to balance everything out.
There was a soft tap on your shoulder, and you quickly turned around expecting you’d been in someone’s way, but instead saw Soonyoung’s chubby cheeks bulge in a cute way as he smiled at you.
You think you preferred the term God’s intervention.
“Hi,” you smiled shyly after taking out your earbuds.
“Hey! What’re you doing here?” Soonyoung giggled, clutching a protein bar in his hand.
You paused briefly. “Grocery shopping?” you said slowly, earning a laugh from the boy.
“Right. Of course.” Soonyoung laughed, peeking in your basket. “Cooking something tonight?”
You nodded. “That’s the plan. I just needed some vegetables for my stir-fry,” you chuckled.
“I wish I could cook. I’m banned from the kitchen,” Soonyoung scratched behind his ear, pouting.
You laughed at that. “Did you set off the fire alarm or something?”
“Twice...”
You laughed again, making Soonyoung smile. “You should cook for me sometime! Maybe I can learn from you.” he chuckled, and the request alone made your ears burn. Was he…?
“Y-yeah—Sure. I’m a good teacher,” you told him, and you suddenly noticed Soonyoung was wearing his football uniform.
“Oh. Do you have a game today?” The two of you slowly made your way to the cash register, chatting as you put your groceries on the conveyor belt.
“Yep. I’m about the head there right now,” he explained, waiting for you as you paid for your stuff. “You remember how we used to play together in elementary school?”
You chuckled at the memory as you walked out of the store together, reliving one of those moments in a very long time.
“The teacher didn’t allow me to play anymore at one point,” you smiled innocently, watching Soonyoung laugh out loud as he remembered exactly why.
“Yeah, because you would always kick the ball over the fence after losing.” he giggled, making you laugh as well.
“I was a sore loser,” you admitted with a shrug, smiling as you walked together. You briefly recognized how easy your conversation flowed with Soonyoung. Maybe you’d be able to muster up your courage after all.
“If you won’t throw our ball anymore, we can play again sometime,” Soonyoung suggested, making your stomach jump.
“Sure,” you replied in kind, as if you didn’t struggle to keep yourself from stuttering.
You made eye contact with Soonyoung, who smiled at you. You smiled back at him, but the corners of your mouth slowly started faltering as you realized you had to finally ask him out. You could faintly hear the yelling of a group of younger boys as you approached the football field, and you knew you had to act fast before it would already be too late.
“Hey, Soonyoung?” you called out his name a bit insecure, slowing your steps to fully get his attention on you.
Soonyoung lifted up his brows with that same smile, slowing down to match your pace, which came to an abrupt halt.
“Um,” you gulped. You took in a breath. “Do you… Would you like to go on a date—with me?” you inhaled deeply, trying to slow your breathing. You bit your bottom lip, already cursing yourself for your choice of words. Did you ask at the wrong time? Should you have asked differently?
When Soonyoung’s smile faded, and a confused expression took over his handsome face, you started rambling, “I mean—I’ve liked you since we were kids and—and—If you don’t like me like that then that’s fine too. I-I just thought—“
“y/n,” Soonyoung cut you off abruptly, placing his hand on your shoulder.
“You’re a very nice girl,” he started. You already knew what would follow.
“And you’re truly great, like really—“ Soonyoung paused before sighing. “I’m sorry y/n. I’m kinda seeing someone…” he said quietly, and by his tone you could tell he genuinely felt bad.
Slowly, you nodded at him. “Ah,” you forced a smile. “No worries.” you chuckled, but really you wanted to throw up.
“I’m sorry…” Soonyoung told you again, almost pouting.
“No—no, it’s alright,” you nodded again, not really knowing what to do next. You felt like you still wanted to ask him one thing, just so you wouldn’t spend months pondering on the what if’s.
“Did I ever have a chance?” you asked cautiously, knowing you probably wouldn’t like the answer.
Soonyoung blinked at the question, caught off guard. He looked down for a moment, seemingly thinking about the question before ultimately shaking his head, slowly.
You nodded understandingly. “Okay… Well, thank you for being honest, Soonyoung,” you briefly smiled at him, clearing your throat before speaking again, “I’ll see you around. Have a good game, okay?” you watched him nod apologetically before turning to walk away, chewing on the inside of your cheek as you started walking.
It wasn’t how you’d imagined heartbreak to be. It wasn't like your heart was breaking into a million pieces, you just felt…empty.
Tears welled in the corners of your eyes, fingers instinctively starting to reach for your phone before stopping yourself. You sniffled as you realized you had no shoulder to cry on anymore, a pitiful sob shaking your chest as you remembered Jeonghan had left you on delivered for a week.
There was purpose in your step as you made your way straight to the fraternity, not caring about any odd looks you were getting as you cried.
You merely wiped your face once before ringing the doorbell, trying and failing to slow your excessive breathing as you waited for the door to open.
The door swung open with a creak, revealing Mingyu with a smile on his face. “y/n!—Oh, what’s wro-“
“Where is he?” you sniffled, not waiting for an answer as you walked straight past Mingyu’s tall frame to Jeonghan’s bedroom.
You decided against knocking, opening the door to find Jeonghan laying on his bed scrolling on his phone. He lifted his head at the sound of the door opening, eyes widening as you walked in with wet cheeks.
“Where have you been?” you asked rather aggressively, eyebrows tightened as you tried to keep yourself from breaking down completely. Your lips trembled, walking up to Jeonghan who pushed himself to take in your current state.
“y/nnie… what’s wrong?” he asked, quickly getting up from the bed before your fist weakly collided against his chest.
“Why are you ignoring me?” you cried, fresh tears beginning to stream down your face. “I-I needed you and you disappeared,” you sobbed when Jeonghan’s arms pulled you in, hiding your face against his chest as he stroked your back comfortingly.
“I’m sorry…” Jeonghan whispered, kissing your temple before sighing.
You closed your eyes, holding him tightly as his familiar embrace warmed your body.
Jeonghan felt your body shake against his as you cried, pressing his cheek against your hair as his hand found your locks. “I’m sorry…” he said again, his chest burning painfully at the state you were in.
“He likes someone else.” you told him after a beat of silence.
Jeonghan sighed, softly shaking his head at what you were telling him. He felt horrible now, blaming himself for everything. For giving your false hope, for building up you confidence—only to watch it all crumble down before his own eyes. This wouldn’t have happened if he hadn’t been selfish.
“Fuck, y/n—I’m so sorry…” he apologized again, tightening his grip on you.
You sniffled, shaking your head. “‘s not your fault, Jeonghan.” you whispered, only making him feel worse.
If you only knew, Jeonghan thought. He should’ve never approached you back then. He’d spend time reflecting on his actions in the last few days as he kept his distance from you, knowing that deep down it had all been for his own self-gain. Annoying you, approaching you at the party. All along this had been about you and him, even if he didn’t realize exactly how much he liked you before he even offered to help you.
“It’s fine,” you concluded, sighing as you tried to stop yourself from crying. “It’s nothing new,” you croaked out, your voice breaking as you failed to stop the sob spilling out of you.
“Shh, ducky,” Jeonghan grabbed your cheeks to meet his eyes, wiping your wet cheeks with his thumbs as he looked at you. You gulped, tears brimming your pretty eyes.
“Can I please stay?” you whispered, fishing his shirt as you looked at him pleadingly. Jeonghan nodded, pushing his forehead against yours as he closed his eyes. “Of course, baby,” he sighed before pulling away from you.
Seeing you cry like this felt like a dagger to his chest. He wished nothing more than to take away your pain.
“You look so tired, ducky,” Jeonghan said while looking at you, wiping away another stray tear with his knuckle before nodding to his bed. “Take a nap, okay? Do you need anything? I can make you tea, or some snacks—“
“Just hold me, Hannie. Please?” you grabbed his hand, afraid he’d leave you.
Jeonghan nodded, giving you a weak smile as you crawled into bed together.
You sighed as you got comfortable against his chest, his warm arms already making you feel better. You nuzzled your cheek against him, resting your arm over his waist.
You smiled when Jeonghan looked at you, smiling back at you as he stroked your hair. You couldn’t help but laugh, the corners of Jeonghan’s mouth tugging up as he watched you. “What are you laughing at, weirdo?” he softly squeezed your cheek.
“I don’t know…” you admitted, your eyes feeling heavier as your exhaustion grew.
“Go sleep, okay?” Jeonghan whispered, making you nod.
You closed your eyes, softly sniffling as you became even more tired. You’d occasionally open your eyes to see Jeonghan looking back at you, your body becoming heavier as the minutes passed.
“Hannie?” you whispered tiredly after a while, fighting to keep your eyes open as he cocked up his eyebrows.
“Don’t leave again.” you told him, closing your eyes when he gently began to stroke your cheek.
Jeonghan smiled sadly as he watched you sleep, your soft snores painfully familiar. He really didn’t deserve you.
He didn’t know if he could keep promise what you were asking him, not when he had been the cause of your sadness.
“How many times are you going to keep checking your phone?” Joshua crossed his arms over his chest as he leaned against the lockers, grinning when you glared at him.
“I thought he would come today,” you pocketed your phone before starting to walk to your next class, Joshua humming next to you.
“I don’t know, he seems off lately,” Joshua shrugged, making you frown.
“He wasn’t at our project meeting today,” you pouted, resisting the urge to check your phone again. Thankfully Jeonghan wasn’t ignoring your messages anymore after seeing him, but that didn’t mean things were back to the way they were. Joshua was right, Jeonghan did seem off.
“How was that? You know, seeing Soonyoung,” Joshua asked carefully.
You bit your lip as you thought before shrugging. “It was fine.” you said casually, making Joshua cock up a brow.
“Really? You’re not, like, upset still?” you stopped walking once you reached your classroom, cocking your head to the side as you looked at Joshua. You then shrugged again.
“Not really…” you trailed off, pouting. “I feel oddly okay,” you nodded, giving Joshua a smile. Joshua hummed, not totally convinced. “Right,” he said, thinking.
Truth is, you felt… good. As though a weight had been lifted from your shoulders. You also didn’t really understand why, maybe you were still in denial, but you felt like you could finally start to let go of Soonyoung.
Joshua’s eyes strayed behind you when he spotted a figure resembling Jeonghan from the corner of his eye, watching his friend meet his eye before walking off without greeting him. Strange.
You followed his line of vision, looking over your shoulder to see Jeonghan’s back turning around the corner.
“Oh,” you said, perking up to give Joshua a quick look. “See you later, alright?” you told him before going to follow Jeonghan.
Joshua watched you jog to catch up to Jeonghan, sighing with a smile as you disappeared from his vision.
“Jeonghan!” you called once you got close to him, smiling as he turned to you, seemingly caught off guard.
“Hey. You weren’t at our meeting today,” you said, adjusting your bag that had slipped down from the short jog.
“Oh, y/n,” he cleared his throat awkwardly, making you frown. “I didn’t feel like coming,” he explained, his odd tone only leaving you more confused.
“Oh, well, we could really use your help next time. It’s kinda messy without you there,” you chuckled, smiling at him.
Jeonghan didn’t smile back at you, avoiding eye contact as he slowly opened his mouth to speak, “Listen, y/n… I’m—I’m dropping from the project,” he looked at you for a second, mumbling a ‘sorry’ before turning to enter the men’s restroom.
His words felt like a knife to the heart. “What?” you mumbled, gulping as he disappeared again. You were starting to believe you were dumb to trust Jeonghan. Maybe this was all a game for his own entertainment after all, because why else would he just drop you like this? Right after you asked out Soonyoung? The timing of it all was odd.
Anger bubbled up inside of you, shaking your head before following him inside. “What is your deal?” you spat, your jaw clenching as you watched him splash cold water in his face.
Jeonghan looked at you through the mirror before turning with a sigh. “Nothing. I just—“
“Why are you lying to me?” you asked, trying your best not to cry in front of him. Your chest burned, making fists of your hands as you watched him blink dumbly.
“I’m not lying, y/n.” Jeonghan raised his voice, only making you angrier.
“Yes you are. Why are you being like this?” you gulped, afraid you weren’t able to hold your tears for much longer.
“I thought we were friends.” you said quietly, your voice breaking.
Jeonghan swallowed a lump in his throat.
“Was all the time we spent together just a lie?” you felt a tear run down your cheek, all your fears swirling around inside of you. You couldn’t help but feel like you’d lost the only thing that had made you feel so alive these past few weeks.
Jeonghan’s face hardened, his jaw tensing hearing your words. He took a step closer to you, grabbing your underarm.
“I like you, y/n.” he said, the words making your stomach drop.
“Can’t you see?” he added quietly.
You didn’t know what to say, the noise in your head and the way Jeonghan was looking at you overwhelming you. You took a step back, slowly shaking your head as you made sense of it all. The lights in the bathroom were too bright, the sounds of the people in the hallway too loud. You could hear your heart pounding out of your chest and you wondered if Jeonghan could hear it too—you needed to leave.
Jeonghan took a step forward again, not ready to let you go before finally laying his heart bare. “Stop having a crush on Soonyoung.” he whispered pleadingly, softly grabbing your hand in his. Your breath hitched.
“And come back to me.” his frustration softened into a plea, big eyes plagued with vulnerability as he waited for your reaction.
You can’t do this.
You pulled your hand away, not saying a word as you rushed out of the bathroom, leaving Jeonghan by himself.
Tears clouded your vision, your head spinning and mind running as you rushed home. You couldn’t help but wonder if this had been the whole reason Jeonghan had offered to help you with Soonyoung. A part of you told yourself Jeonghan wasn’t that kind of person, yet you couldn’t confidently say you wouldn't have done the same.
What did he even see in you? For how long had he liked you? And was he ever even helping you?
You hid under the covers in your bed, the warmth of the blanket comforting you a bit as you cried soundlessly. Why didn’t you feel angry?
Maybe it had something to do with you not being upset after getting rejected by Soonyoung.
Did you even really want Soonyoung? Or maybe you just liked the idea of being wanted by someone.
You exhaled a shaky breath, hugging your pillow to your chest. You were so confused by everything. You knew you should feel some kind of way about this—whether it be anger or resentment—but the only thing you really wanted was to be hanging out with Jeonghan again. You imagined how things were before they all went wrong—talking, laughing for hours. Falling asleep next to him.
His absence had hollowed you out these past few days. Soonyoung had never made you feel special. But Jeonghan… Jeonghan saw you. Everything you’d been longing for had been so easy for him to give.
Maybe if you hadn’t been so wrapped up in the idea of liking Soonyoung, you would’ve seen what was in front of you all along. Maybe if this whole thing hadn’t started as a lie, your feelings would’ve been easier to untangle. But the one thing you couldn’t ignore was that you couldn’t lose Jeonghan.
The sky had darkened once you finally forced yourself out of your bed, dried tears decorating your cheeks as you rumbled through your bag to snatch your laptop. Maybe some trashy reality tv would help distract you.
As you lifted the laptop, a familiar object tumbled on the floor, rolling until it stilled in front of you.
You lip twitched seeing your duck pen, your stomach twisting painfully. You bend down to pick it up, looking at it for a moment before taking in a sharp breath, lifting your arm to launch it straight against the wall with a pitiful whine.
“Woah! What the hell?” Jaehee stood in the opened doorway with a puzzled look on her face, taking a second to evaluate the current state she’d found you in before slowly closing the door behind her.
“What’s going on in here? Are you okay?” she pouted before engulfing you in a tight hug. You shook your head, sighing and resting your face against her shoulder.
“Talk to me.” she whispered, rubbing your back.
“You’ll think I’m crazy,” you sighed.
“I just paid a witch to curse Mingyu. I can handle crazy,” Jae let go of you to sit down on the bed with you, grinning at the cackle leaving your mouth.
“Fuck—okay,” you rubbed your face. “Long story short: Jeonghan and I were never a thing. It was all a ploy to get Soonyoung. I asked him out a couple of days ago but he rejected me—“ Knowing how long you’d liked Soonyoung for, Jaehee already started pouting. “—But I’m fine—Oh, and Jeonghan just told me he likes me and then I ran away.” you finish with a sigh, making Jae’s eyes widen in surprise at the sudden twist.
“That’s a lot to unpack,” she started, looking at you. “I don’t suppose you’re throwing stuff because you don’t like him back and feel incredibly sorry for it?” she asked almost sarcastically, crossing her arms over her chest.
You sighed and shook your head.
“So you do like him? Then what’s the problem?”
You blinked at her. “I… I don’t know,” you frowned, looking down at your lap. “It’s not that simple.”
Jae raised a brow. “What’s not simple? You like him, he likes you. Where’s the disaster in that?”
“You make it sound so easy,” you muttered.
She let out a breath, then softened, reaching for your hand. “y/n, you really need to stop thinking so much.” A small smile tugged at her lips.
You sighed. “It’s just—I don’t think I allowed myself to feel what I felt when I was with Jeonghan. I pushed it away, convinced myself all of those feelings were fake since they were supposed to be. What if I give it a shot and find out I was right?”
“You’re too stuck in your own head. I’ve seen the two of you. You can’t fake the way you look at each other—unless you’re both Oscar-worthy actors, which I seriously doubt,” she chuckled.
You bit your lip, slowly nodding.
“Well, text him.” Jaehee bumped her shoulder against yours, your chest tightening at the thought of Jeonghan. Your face grew hot.
“Text him to come over,” she encouraged you, the corners of her mouth lifting up. You shifted on the bed, pouting as you thought it over.
Jae sighed at your apprehension and pulled out her phone, her nails tapping against the screen as she typed.
“What are you doing?” you asked meekly, watching your friend turn off her phone with a satisfied expression on her face. “He’ll be here soon.” she only told you, her hands resting in her lap demurely.
You blinked in surprise. “Huh?” you frowned. “Wha-What did you just send him?” you tried to reach for her phone, but Jaehee hastily got up from your bed moving her finger at you disapprovingly. “Nah-ah,” she sang, barely making an effort to hide the smirk on her face.
“Jae.” you warned her, pushing yourself up slowly.
“It’s nothing bad, promise! I just let him know that I can’t find you anywhere and your location is turned off,” she shrugged, making you gasp.
“That’s not nothing!” you raised your voice, crossing your arms over your chest with a sigh.
Jaehee exhaled a breath, giving you a smile as she hugged you again. “Don’t panic. Don’t you deserve to figure out what you’re really feeling?” she whispered, patting your head. You knew she was right. You nodded.
“Remember how it felt being his friend and just go from there,” she created some space between your bodies to look at you, smiling when you whispered a soft ‘okay.’
The two of you gave each other a look at the sound of a notification, reading Jeonghan’s ‘omw now’ message together.
“He won’t take long,” Jae told you, making you inhale a sharp breath. “I’ll meet him at the door, okay? Just—Just wait here, y/n.” she said, looking at you for a second before starting to leave your bedroom.
The room fell quiet after that, your nerves buzzing louder than anything else. You couldn’t sit still, shifting on the bed as your mind raced. Every second felt like forever—until a knock sounded at the door.
“y/n?!” Jeonghan rushed inside with a panicked look on his face, eyebrows drawn with a pair of big eyes meeting yours. “Are you okay?” he sighed, visibly relaxing at the sight of you unharmed.
You gulped, looking at him for a moment before abruptly getting up. You hastily grabbed the duck pencil from the floor and shoved it into his hand.
“I don’t want this back.” you said firmly, your jaw clenching as you looked at him with manic eyes.
He froze, staring at the object in his palm with confusion before lifting his gaze to you. Your anger faltered when you met his eyes, his pretty face making your own features soften despite yourself.
You gave him a small, sad smile.
“Hannie…” you whispered, tears burning in the corners of your eyes.
Your lip shook, pushing your face against his chest before you could stop yourself.
“I told you to never leave me again…” you mumbled, smiling at his familiar, comforting scent despite your tears. You put your arms around his body, embracing him tightly. “Please don’t…” you looked up at him, vulnerability creeping in at what you were saying.
Jeonghan only looked at you, his pink lips slightly ajar before meeting together in a subtle pout.
You realized it then, how oblivious you had been this entire time. How you needed Jeonghan as much as you needed air. How much you couldn’t live without him—and, finally, how much you loved him.
“y/n…” Jeonghan whispered, really hoping he wasn’t wrong about what you were getting at.
Your lips curled up in a smile, softly cupping his cheeks before pulling him down to meet your lips with his. Jeonghan gasped against your mouth, wrapping his arms around your waist to pull you as close as he could have you.
You bit your lip shyly when you finally pulled away, seeing Jeonghan smile back at you in a way that made your chest tighten.
“I like you too, Hannie,” you said softly, reaching for his hand to link your fingers together. Jeonghan’s eyes shrunk as he smiled at you, keeping his free arm wrapped around you to keep you pressed close against him.
“You like me, ducky?” he asked dumbfounded, squeezing your hand in his.
You shyly looked away, your smile growing wider as you nodded. “Yes…yes I do…” you told him, your face burning when you looked at him again.
“I didn’t even want to think about Soonyoung, because—because you were there. I didn’t want our time to end, Jeonghan.” you whispered, frowning. “The thought of losing you… I couldn’t do it. I just need you.” you confessed, gulping nervously.
Jeonghan giggled hearing your words, leaning in to kiss you hard. “Fuck, I’m such an idiot. I should’ve just asked you out from the start.” he breathed, pecking your lips again.
He pulled away to look at you, a hint of vulnerability creeping in his big eyes. “You really like me?” he asked again, his lips curling up in a shy smile as he looked at you expectantly.
You gently stroked his cheeks, your body tingling as you nodded. Looking at him, you couldn’t believe this was actually happening.
“Yes, Hannie.” You sighed, your heart beating out of your chest.
Jeonghan hugged you tightly, and somehow you were starting to feel emotional—the feeling reminded you of the first time he had held you in his bedroom. It felt as if you were coming home to a warm home after a long rainy day. It felt like drinking your favorite brand of coffee after a vacation, or having a dream you didn’t want to wake up from.
You closed your eyes and listened to his heartbeat, slowly calming down from all of the adrenaline.
You suddenly remembered what Joshua had told you, breaking the silence with a sudden silent laugh.
“Hm?” Jeonghan stroked your hair, smiling as he imagined what you could be thinking of.
“Did you try to annoy me on purpose? I mean—In class?” you pulled back to look at Jeonghan’s face, watching him blink at you in confusion before slowly grinning mischievously.
“Of course. Loved to see how many angry looks I could get from you,” he smiled, making you tsk. “I think I already kinda liked you back then, even if I didn’t realize,” he admitted with a chuckle. “You were always so polite. Even if you were shy you would smile at everyone,” his smile widened as he imagined it in his head.
“You really got on my nerves.” you hit his arm, making him only smile wider.
“Yeah?” he teased you, wrapping his arms around your shoulders before giving you a kiss.
“So you don’t want me to stay?” he asked, cocking his head to the side with a playful smile.
You tried to hide how giddy you felt, your cheeks burning at his question.
“Well, ducky?” he prodded, half teasing, half hoping you’d give him the green light.
You got close enough to kiss him again, feeling Jeonghan sigh against your lips as you slowly pushed him back on the bed with you.
The kiss deepened until all you could taste was him, warm and steady, the kind of sweetness that was becoming harder to imagine ever living without. Hands groped and lingered, yanking down fabric until the heat radiating off your bodies mixed together.
Jeonghan rolled on top of you, taking his time kissing you from your lips down to your belly button as his eyes admired the sight of you. You bit your lip feeling his tongue lick a slow stripe on your upper thigh before inching down to your pussy, softly gasping when his warm tongue found your clit.
Despite you not talking, you could feel that warm energy filling up the room, consuming you whole as Jeonghan savored you. You knew he felt it too, gentle fingertips brushing against your sides, hazed eyes watching you gasp and moan attentively.
Your body writhed feeling him go faster, biting your lip as your tummy burned. Before you would find yourself lost in the deep end, your shaky hand reached for Jeonghan’s to stop him.
If you were gonna cum, you wanted to do so with him. You needed him as close as you could have him, cupping his cheeks to bring him on top of you.
“Yeah?” Jeonghan whispered against your mouth in the middle of a kiss, making you nod. “Yeah.” you answered, pecking his lips as you looked in his eyes.
Jeonghan glided his tip over your entrance, collecting your wetness before slowly inching in, stretching you deliciously before bottoming out.
“God,” Jeonghan breathed, pushing his lips against yours with an almost desperate plea while slowly starting to grind against you.
You moaned fruitlessly when he set a faster pace, making Jeonghan echo your sounds at the way you were squeezing his cock. “C’mere,” he sighed, moving your legs over his thighs to feel you even deeper. Jeonghan linked your fingers together, pinning them down on the mattress as he licked into you.
“Hannie,” you squeezed his hands, feeling the muscles in your body tighten. You think you could already cum like this, closer to him than you’ve ever been.
Jeonghan nodded, sucking on your bottom lip hard enough to form a bruise. All you could hear were your breaths and whimpers, and all you could feel was the closeness you shared.
“Cum, baby. Cum for me?” he asked breathlessly, going faster again. You let out a loud moan, nodding in agreement as the sound of skin slapping echoed through the room.
“Fuck.” you whimpered, squirming against him as pleasure overtook you. You moaned again as you came around his cock, feeling Jeonghan’s warmth erupt inside of you as your walls clenched around him fruitlessly.
Your head spun, Jeonghan’s whimpers falling on deaf ears before grounding you with a soft kiss.
“I love you.” Jeonghan whispered out of breath, blinking as he looked at you with big eyes.
A shy smile spread over your face, your chest tightening at the words coming out of his mouth.
“I love you.” you whispered back, feeling as if this moment weren’t real.
Jeonghan’s lips curved up into the smallest, almost disbelieving smile before he hid his face in the crook of your neck. He gently let go of your hands to embrace you instead, peppering kisses on your shoulder.
“You’re mine now—for real this time.” Jeonghan said, lifting his head to look at you again. A smirk tugged at his features, humming at the smiley, almost shy nod you gave him.
“My girlfriend,” he giggled sweetly, giving your cheek a kiss.
“My ducky.” he whispered, nuzzling his forehead against yours.
“Hannie…” you laughed, but you couldn’t contain the smile playing on your lips.
Somewhere through the quiet whispers and hours of laughter you realized you didn’t feel alone anymore. You didn’t feel unlovable—you felt wanted, like every stolen kiss and every teasing joke was stitching something whole inside of you, something you had once believed could never belong to you.
Note: This author does not need to get back to me or respond in anyway. I want to be able to appreciate the author's work!
Non-spoiler review: The dynamic between the reader and Jeonghan was easy and fun, I loved the teasing that Jeonghan was up to all the time. The Jaehee subplot was crazy, I loved checking up with her at every stop of the fic. I love love love the way Jeonghan is written, its so easy and so easy going. I really just love this.
I didn't proof read this. Im sorry if this sounds insane.
You were always intimidated by Yoon Jeonghan. From the moment you first saw him in class you could tell he thought everyone was below him
I can't really blame her, Jeonghan is so intimidating. Short hair, long hair, any Jeonghan. I think I would be caught off guard by how pretty he is and then by his antics. I don't think I could ever control him.
“What a crazy coincidence! I didn’t know we’re going to the same college,” Soonyoung chuckled, shrugging off his backpack before mindlessly taking a seat next to you.
To be fair, this is a miserable way to be introduced into a group of friends. You are in a group project, with your crush (who doesnt register your existence) and the guy you've been trying to avoid your entire college career. Seokmin hasn't done any egregious offenses yet, but I have my eyes on him.
I think the way the reader is written, how she's so obvious about her crush is so cute. Like wow, I feel bad for her. Im giggling about how sweet she seems and about 5 seconds from knocking soonyoung off his feet.
"I'll set up the meetings, oversee all your work and help where help is needed." he said, slumping in his chair. You resisted the urge to roll your eyes.
Lets not even TALK about how annoying he was about the dear readers part of the project. I think I would have killed a man like this in college. Truly, if he offered this solution... the things I would do. The reader is better than me for not picking a fight.
"I can't believe you're finally coming with me!" Your best friend Jaehee declared loudly. She squeezed your hip. "You have to see Mingyu tonight, he's so fucking fine. We’ve been texting for days now!"
I'm bringing this up because Im truly curious. Is this a mystic messenger mention? in my yoon jeonghan fic? beautiful no notes. If not ignore this and dont look at me
I will say its very sweet that Jaehee was talking to the guys about the reader. I love a friend like that in the fic
Soonyoung was making out with some girl on the other side of the garden, tongue and all, making you see green with jealousy.
Oh god, its over and so fast. A pretty harsh way to end the crush oh my god. Poor reader, I feel like this is the beginning of her troubles in this fic. I really feel for her, I do...
“I can help you.”
Famous last words.
“You didn’t chicken out,” he observed aloud, as if he thought you would actually back out of his genius plan to catch Soonyoung’s attention. As if the threat of not listening to him didn’t come with consequences.
“I’m a little surprised to be honest.” he chuckled, sitting down next to you.
Yoon Jeonghan in this fic intrigues me, I know he said his motivation is boredom. Is it really though? I'm trying to figure out why in the world he would be doing something like this.
However, I really really love Jeonghan in this. He feels so non-chalant, like he doesn't care, like he's bored of everything. He pays way too close attention for someone who is just bored. I'm so interested to see where he goes in this fic.
“Hyung, didn’t you say you disliked y/n?” Soonyoung asked, leaning over the backrest of the chair as he looked at his friend obliviously.
what? what do you even say? how does one respond? I think I would just die on the fucking spot if someone walked up to me and this dude and asks "didn't you say you don't like her?". I dont care how curious you are, there is a time and a place.
“Come closer. You have to at least put in an effort if you want Soonyoung to think we’re dating.” Jeonghan whispered, pulling you closer towards him by your knee.
I love how he, just doesn't tell her? like at all. Thats so completely Jeonghan. I want to throttle him at the moment. That's crazy. I don't know why, but I can never trust Jeonghan in these fics. He's so sneaky, I always feel like he has an ulterior motive whenever he does something.
Im so assumed at the fact Jeonghan is doing "fake dating" because he's bored. Thats such a funny thought and i love it.
His fingers played with the fabric of your shirt, not paying you any mind as he listened to the teacher.
I would be a MESS if this was happening to me during the class. I know Jeonghan gave the pen gave the pen back - the thoughts are out the window as soon as he started playing with the shirt. This dude knows how to play the game.
I think I've seen this film before
And I didn't like the ending
Im so scared for the reader right now. You can't even imagine oh my god. I can see into the future and see exactly how she'll fall for him. I'm so fucking nervous for dealing with the fallout.
“This is just practice. You have to get used to us touching, ducky.”
The nickname is so fun. I really do love it, its such a balance between him messing with the reader and it being cute.
Still, the loneliness didn’t mean you lacked feeling. That had been the whole problem. You loved deeply, too much, sometimes so much that your fingers shook with it. It pulsed deep within you, burning to engulf and to take and keep taking.
the interesting and difficult emotion of feeling unwanted. Its always hard to explain and say why. It never helps to hear from other people about 'how it gets better'.
I think this entire moment is such a sweet moment too. Its the first time where the reader has actively been vulnerable with Jeonghan. I dont have many words to describe it, but I could really feel the comfort of the moment. They did well - i think it really translates well with the reader opening up to the audience about her love life. Seeing that side of her with Jeonghan.
“Had to pull out all of my charm for this one,” he continued, and you admired how well he was playing his role.
You really are pulling out all the stops Jeonghan. You are charming me and I don't trust you within an inch of my life.
The somewhat quiet, awkward kid you used to know felt like someone else entirely now. You were beginning to fear that you were chasing a past version of him, one that didn’t even exist anymore. You realised you were looking through the lens of someone who used to know him.
Maybe you were just doing this all wrong. Maybe if you were louder, or bolder—better, you wouldn’t be feeling this defeated.
That is one way to certainly look at this entire situation. However you were right on the money and swerved left. Like truly, you were so close and then you missed.
Jeonghan frowned at you, pausing for a moment. “That’s not true y/n,” he shook his head, observing you carefully. “Like, not at all.” He sighed before gently nudging your chin, looking at you. You softly pouted, not really knowing what to say.
“Do you even know how lucky he’d be to have you?” he added, his sweet words only making you somber.
Add this to the list of things Liquorice!Jeonghan says to make my stomach flip. You spent maybe a week pretending to be her boyfriend (previously hating her) and now you are telling her anyone would be lucky to have her. Crazy but accepted development.
“Such a pretty girl…” he then hummed with a smile, only making things worse. You hated how much his words impacted you—how easily they reached the parts of you you tried to keep hidden.
Yeah if Liquorice!Jeonghan called me a pretty girl, I would also be going insane. I dont know how you haven't lost your mind yet.
“What, you don’t want to kiss me?” his lip threatened to curl up again, though he tried his best not to.
I didnt think we'd be here. Crazy kiss, truly a crazy kiss. Wow. I have no words. It escalated so fast oh my god, I keep on scrolling and my eyes are getting wider and wider.
The sex scene is really good. I was entracned reading the entire thing. My entire face is burning oh wow. The dialogue during the scene was so good. I'm so impressed.
“Do you think Soonyoung saw us?” you then asked him quietly, tilting your head.
Top 10 ways to ruin a moment. I'm in shock. I truly hope you both meant hopefully as "thank god we are a thing now and we are dating and soonyoung knows theres no interest what so ever."
But i know that my hopes probably won't come true...
Maybe it was selfish of him, but he didn’t want to put an end to this fake relationship.
Mentally and physically on two different pages, both Jeonghan and the reader, and they both are actively going against what they want. Crazy
The relationship and the dynamic between Jeonghan and the reader is insane. Reading Jeonghan in this fic is really just addicting. He's so much fun to read and its truly such an easy read omg.
“I know,” he simply said. “But others might see us. It’s called being prepared, baby.” he purred, making you roll your eyes, though you couldn’t hide your amusement even if you tried.
It's called being in love with the girl you are faking dating ~
“Are you not gonna answer me, ducky?” Jeonghan tightened his grip on your neck a little, biting his lip as he smiled cockily watching your eyes widen. Only, he easily could tell you wanted more.
Jeonghan has got me blushing and twirling my hair during this fic. I know they are actively making out here, but his teasing nature feels so natural. It doesn't feel like he's being a dick or he's being mean, it just feels like he enjoys teasing.
He suddenly felt the need to be gentle with you, to show you how much you had started to mean to him in such a short period of time. He couldn’t stop looking at your face
Jesus christ. Thats literally all I can say here. Just know my face is BEET red oh my god.
Jeonghan had fallen for you.
I like how he comes to the realization first, that he fell in love with the reader. As it was stated before, I was kind of afraid that the reader would fall in love, but get her heart destroyed. I'm so glad that it wasn't the case. I think in terms of the fic, it makes sense. The reader has never experienced love before, she has so many feelings of rejection around being pursued. She doesn't know what she's feeling and can't really explain it, I'm intrigued to see how it plays out.
I like how Jeonghan is going to be the one actively proving to her he wants her. She gets the feeling of being desired. I really love that
Joshua laughed at that. “Sure he did. He talked about you a lot, you know. How he loved getting a reaction out of you. You really never noticed?”
An interesting development to be sure. I actually didn't expect this? I'm unsure how to file this, but this is the information I'm sure will 100% definitely matter later. What in the world was Soonyoung talk about in the beginning of the fic?? Im so intrigued oh my god.
“He likes someone else.” you told him after a beat of silence.
I'm genuinely about to cry for the reader. I'm like near tears right now? Oh my heart is like feeling for this girl so hard right now. That rejection was just a tough read and I really,,, I've been in her place before. It's not a fun heartbreak to be sobbing through the streets.
“Listen, y/n… I’m—I’m dropping from the project,” he looked at you for a second, mumbling a ‘sorry’ before turning to enter the men’s restroom.
Jesus, it just doesnt end huh.
“I just paid a witch to curse Mingyu. I can handle crazy,” Jae let go of you to sit down on the bed with you, grinning at the cackle leaving your mouth.
I need to understand what the fuck is happening over here in this subplot. What did Mingyu do to my poor friend Jaehee? I know I'm on her side already. Good for her! Pay the etsy witch to curse Mingyu!
You didn’t feel unlovable—you felt wanted, like every stolen kiss and every teasing joke was stitching something whole inside of you, something you had once believed could never belong to you.
Holy shit? I'm done. This was such a crazy fic. It genuinely flew by. I loved the reader and her struggles. How it shaped the way she was reacting to love. I love Jeonghan and his development in the fic - I think he was a bit selfish pulling away like that, but truly, I think he developed a bit. I need to know what the hell was going on with Jaehee and Mingyu.
I really loved this. This was such an easy and fun read. Jeonghan was so much fun in this and his personality came across so easy going. It was genuinely such a fun time. I really enjoyed myself
Thank you so much for writing this fic. I really enjoyed myself with this one!
aaaaa i looooved reading this 😭😭 thank you so much bb 🥹 im so happy you enjoyed it 🫶
I'm bringing this up because Im truly curious. Is this a mystic messenger mention? in my yoon jeonghan fic? beautiful no notes. If not ignore this and dont look at me
im dying at this snssme. i literally played mystic messenger again last month ndndnfn but i just realized it when you pointed out the name lmao 😭
i read this review too many times since i loved it so much 🫶 thanks again hehe ❤️
You knew whatever you and Jeonghan were doing wasn’t real—not really. But a part of you had started to wonder. You could feel that same warmth you’d come to resent starting to bloom, and it scared you.
pairing jeonghan x f!reader word count 24.2k tags non-idol au, college au, fake dating, enemies? to friends to lovers, humor, angst, jealousy, conflict, jeonghan being a menace, pet names, dom!jeonghan, sub!reader, teasing, a lot of making out, dry humping, fingering, big!dick jeonghan, unprotected sex, riding, missionary, hickeys, creampies, cock warming, multiple smut scenes, grinding, spanking, mention of dacryphilia, love making warnings smut, cursing, alcohol, mentions of smoking
thank you @sanaxo-o @nerdycheol for beta reading ♡
💌 check out my masterlist & patreon!
You were always intimidated by Yoon Jeonghan. From the moment you first saw him in class you could tell he thought everyone was below him. The way he paraded around campus with that shit-eating grin on his face, perfect pink lips always knowing just what to say. His brown eyes seemed to always seek you out for some reason, as if he purposely wanted to get on your nerves.
So, right there and then, before even having spoken a single word to him, you decided to avoid him at all costs.
You didn’t pay him any mind for the rest of the year, blocking him out whenever you happened to catch sight of him, or whenever you heard his stupid voice in any of the shared classes you were in.
It isn’t until the second year or college that you’re forced to interact with him for the first time, being grouped together for an assignment.
Now if that wasn’t bad, you curse your luck once you realize one of the other guys in your group happened to be your lifelong crush out of all people, the loud Kwon Soonyoung.
You didn’t even know he’d been taking the same class as you, as for you hadn’t even seen him once since the start of the semester.
The worst part of it all is finding out he and Jeonghan seemed to be the best of friends, laughing amongst themselves as they entered the study hall. The last guy, Lee Seokmin, jogged behind them to catch up to them, a wide smile on his face whilst hitting Soonyoung’s shoulder.
Just great. He was a part of their little clique as well.
You'd walked into the study hall almost confidently, thinking you were adult enough to deal with Yoon Jeonghan. But Soonyoung? Your stomach churned with anxiety.
Soonyoung's eyes lit up as soon as he saw you, catching you off guard with a sudden, friendly hug.
"You know y/n?" Seokmin cocked up his eyebrows, watching his older friend nearly crush a seemingly random girl from class.
"Of course! We went to elementary and middle school together." he smiled, finally letting go of you. You hoped they couldn’t tell just how flustered the embrace had made you, your eyes blinking as you tried to regain composure.
“What a crazy coincidence! I didn’t know we’re going to the same college,” Soonyoung chuckled, shrugging off his backpack before mindlessly taking a seat next to you.
You almost pouted at his words. Whilst you were very aware of his presence, Soonyoung didn’t seem to have been aware of yours.
“Yeah, crazy.” you laughed it off, trying not to sound too awkward. “I didn’t know you were in this class…” you trailed off, blindly opening your laptop.
Seokmin exhaled an amused breath. “Because he skips all his classes.” he said, taking a seat next to Soonyoung.
“Hey, not all… I just hate Business Management.” the boy sighed, pouting as he rummaged through his worn down backpack.
You fought a smile hearing them banter, shyly looking down at your laptop screen.
"Alright, if the little reunion is over let's just start and get this over with, hm?" Jeonghan grumbled, forced to sit on the other side of you.
You tried not to roll your eyes, the two others simply humming in agreement.
It took a near hour to decide on a solid plan, taking note of all the important topics and details. The dynamic between the group of friends had you surprisingly amused to say the least, catching yourself chuckling along to the little jabs the friends aimed at each other.
"Okay, so, Seokmin," Jeonghan pointed his pen at him. "You will pick a company to help us with formulating three products." his pen moved to Soonyoung. "You'll design the logo of our website and the color scheme."
The ball point pen moved to you now. "y/n, you'll design our website. Just pick some template on one of those website builders. Make it look pretty, but please, no pink." he sighed.
Your lips pressed together, feeling slightly agitated at his words. Make it look pretty, you're sure he was aware of how condescending he sounded, not even acknowledging the fact your major was software development.
"What will you do, hyung?" Soonyoung asked, and you were more than curious to know this too.
Jeonghan clicked his pen, looking over at his friend.
"I'll set up the meetings, oversee all your work and help where help is needed." he said, slumping in his chair. You resisted the urge to roll your eyes.
The two others seemed content with his answer. You didn’t argue with that, not having the energy over some stupid class you didn’t even care for.
"Alright then." Seokmin clapped his hands together loudly, earning the attention of a few other students in the study hall. "Since Jeonghan hyung seems in such a rush to leave, let's meet up again next week?" he asked. You nodded, grabbing your backpack to put away your stuff.
"I'll make a group chat." Seokmin added, looking over to you briefly. You hummed, giving him a small smile of acknowledgement.
Jeonghan left first, and you walked out the study hall with the two other boys by your side.
"Oh my god, I'm so happy to see you!" Soonyoung nudged your shoulder lightly, gripping the straps of his backpack while he walked with you. You chuckled shyly. "Yeah, me too."
You chose not to tell him how you’ve seen him around campus countless times, feeling like a bit of a loser at the way you’d been keeping your eye on him like a young girl with a schoolgirl crush—and in a way you were just that.
"We should hang out! Do you live on campus?" he asked. You made eye contact with him, smiling at his question. "I’m over at the sorority. Are you guys in the fraternity together?"
The boys nodded. "We all are." Seokmin told you.
"You should come to the party tomorrow, it'll be fun!" Soonyoung said.
You'd sworn off drinking a while ago, not wanting it to get in the way of your studies, yet the offer sounded convincing enough, and the thought of getting closer to Soonyoung made your chest thump.
"Ahh, come on! Don't tell me you've never been to one of our parties before." Soonyoung grinned when you paused, fully turning his body to you.
A laugh escaped your mouth. "Well, I haven't. But... since you asked," you flashed him a smile, their sounds of approval hitting your ears.
"Perfect! We'll see you there, y/n." Seokmin smiled.
Your friend sneaked an arm around your waist, pulling you into her body while the two of you walked to the fraternity a few blocks over.
"I can't believe you're finally coming with me!" Your best friend Jaehee declared loudly. She squeezed your hip. "You have to see Mingyu tonight, he's so fucking fine. We’ve been texting for days now!"
You rolled your eyes playfully, not too keen on meeting one of her flings again.
When the two of you entered the fraternity, the notorious ΙΖ', you were immediately greeted by the luring smell of alcohol and weed. The large body of people were scattered all around the extensive common room, most grouped together chatting with their respective friends in the open space between the kitchen and living room.
Your face scrunched a bit trying to adjust to the loud music, your friend immediately dragging you to a corner where a group was hanging out.
"Jae!" the loud voices greeted your friend excitedly, the tallest of them instinctively putting an arm around her.
She welcomed them with a smile, moving to pull you right next to her. "Guys, this is y/n!” she grinned. “y/n, this is Mingyu," she looked at the handsome boy next to her before pointing to the others. "Joshua, Eunwoo and Jeonghan." You made eye contact with Jeonghan, his big eyes already staring back at you.
"Hi y/n, it’s nice to meet you. Did you finally decide to join us?" Joshua smiled, giving your shoulder a small squeeze. You met his gaze, his sweet eyes resembling those of crescent moons as he smiled at you.
You didn’t know whether to feel thankful your friend had seemingly been so openly talking about you, but you were happy you were being welcomed so warmly. You returned his smile, nodding before speaking, "Yeah... It looks like you got quite the party here." you chuckled.
"I told you it'd be fun!" Jaehee lighty shoved you, a loud voice suddenly interrupting your conversation.
"Hey! You made it!" Soonyoung squeezed between you and Joshua, a smile on his sweet face while he settled his gaze on you. Your body instantly became warm, and you swallowed a lump in your throat not knowing what to say. You could tell by the flush on his cheeks he was a few drinks ahead of you.
"Let's take a shot!" he exclaimed happily, handing you a full shot glass you hadn’t seen him hold before. His gaze turned a bit more serious as if he realized something, hectic eyes frantically looking around as his lips pressed together in a tight line.
His eyes lit up as soon as a certain person walked by, and he snatched a full glass of booze from their hands with an innocent giggle. "Thanks Jihoonie!" he laughed, earning him a blank stare from the guy, who carried on walking, uninterested.
You laughed as he clinked his glass against yours, downing the entire cocktail down quickly. You watched him for a second before deciding to take the shot, the bitter taste making you cringe.
The group in front of you didn’t seem too concerned by what was happening, already wrapped back up in whatever conversation they had before you and Jae joined them.
"You want another? Or maybe a mixed drink? I’m good at those," Soonyoung put his hand on your shoulder, looking at the kitchen for a moment before settling his hazy eyes back on you.
“If you don’t make it too strong,” you smiled timidly, the words leaving your lips before you could even think them over. Soonyoung gave you a sharp nod, disappearing into the crowd.
Your eyes briefly met Jeonghan again before clumsily looking over at your friend, who seemed too busy to talk to you.
“You know Soonyoung?” Joshua closed the space between the two of you again, face angled down close to yours.
You nodded. “We went to the same school when we were kids,” you told him, playing with the empty shot glass in your hands. He chuckled. “Wow, what a coincidence.” He took a drag of his vape, the fruity cloud of smoke dancing above you. You nodded. “Yeah, we were grouped together for a Business Management project.”
“Business Management? Doesn’t Jeonghan also take that class?” he looked over to his friend, who looked up at the mention of his name. You nodded, telling him Jeonghan and Seokmin were all in your group as well.
“Good luck with that.” Joshua grinned knowingly. “I wouldn’t be able to focus much with those three bickering all the time.” he snickered, looking at his friend who just rolled his eyes.
You smiled. “So far so good.” You hoped to at least get a smile from the boy in front of you, deciding the grudge you held against him might have been a little unfair to him. But Jeonghan dismissed your kindness by ignoring you completely, instead saying something to Eunwoo beside him.
You resisted the urge to show your newfound irritation, shifting your attention back to Joshua.
From the corner of your eye you saw Eunwoo nod, and the two of them left quietly, leaving you four in the corner.
Joshua really knew how to make you feel comfortable, striking up a conversation with you about your majors and some of your interests, the exchange soon shifting into your shared hobby of baking.
When Mingyu and Jae disappeared after a heated make out session you and Joshua briefly cringed at, the two of you were the only ones left. Joshua soon dragged you to the backyard to smoke, joking alcohol made him crave cigarettes.
You were seated on one of the couches outside, a full glass of alcohol in your hand that one of the hosts, Joshua’s friend, had poured you—reminding you of the drink Soonyoung had promised you before, most likely, drunkenly having forgotten about it.
Just shortly after the realization you coincidentally spotted him, and your stomach turned when you saw what exactly was going on. Soonyoung was making out with some girl on the other side of the garden, tongue and all, making you see green with jealousy.
Your innocent crush might’ve not been completely innocent—not when the sight in your peripheral vision impacted you this much.
Your glass was empty now, and you set it on the table in front of you to push yourself up. This caught the attention of Joshua, who’d been busily chatting with the random people you’d grouped up with outside for the last half hour.
“Are you leaving?” Joshua put his hand around your wrist, looking up at you with a frown on his face.
“I don’t feel so good, I need some water,” you told him, making him loosen his grip on you. You had this weird urge to isolate yourself—to flee. “Are you okay? I can get it for you.” His eyes softened upon hearing your words.
You shook your head. “It’s okay, thanks Joshua. I’ll be right back.” you shot him an assuring smile before quickly walking back inside, right past the kitchen to the corridor.
Fuck. Why did you feel so jealous over Soonyoung? It’s not like you were ever close to him.
Maybe you’d been an idiot hoping to catch Soonyoung’s attention, not when he barely paid any attention to you in the first place. He never noticed you in school. The secret glances, soft laughter you tried to hold in whenever he and his friends joked around in class. He didn’t even know you were attending the same college, for god's sake.
Now you felt even worse. You decided to walk straight outside through the front door—away.
“Leaving already?”
You jumped at the sudden voice, eyes locking with Jeonghan who you saw leaning against the white brick house. He eyed you with his arms crossed over his chest.
“Fuck, you scared me.” you instinctively pressed your hand against your thumping chest. Jeonghan seemed to observe you carefully, eyebrows furrowed like he was deep in thought.
“Everything okay?” he suddenly asked you. The question surprised you. Jeonghan didn’t seem the type to entertain people he didn’t care about.
“Um, yeah,” you responded meekly. “Just going home.” you shrugged, fully ready to walk off.
Jeonghan hummed, pushing himself off the wall to get a bit closer to you. You stopped moving, your shoulders slumping a little while looking at him. Jeonghan checking up on you was as odd as it was out of character, but continuing to want to talk to you? By choice? You were stunned.
“Let me guess,” he smiled, clearly already very amused by whatever was about to come out of his mouth. “This has something to do with Soonyoung.” He almost grinned, and his arms remained crossed as he waited for your reaction.
The look on your face only made him smile wider, looking like he had won the lottery.
“I knew I would be right.” he mumbled under his breath, chuckling in an irritating way. “I’m good at this…” he seemed amused, waiting for you to defend yourself.
You forced yourself to laugh, shifting your weight awkwardly as the stiff sound croaked out of you. “What are you talking about?” you held your breath awaiting his next words, but some part of you knew he had you right where he wanted you.
“I mean,” the look in his eyes shifted into something you couldn’t describe. “You have a thing for Soonyoung. It’s very obvious.”
Your chest felt tight. Was is really that noticeable?
“For…for Soonyoung?” you laughed as if his take had been completely wrong. “Why would you think that?” you continued, the quirk of his lip only sputtering you on more. You hoped he couldn’t notice how flustered you were becoming.
Jeonghan laughed, the nasal sound ripping from his throat surprising you. You realized you’d never seen this side to him—almost happy.
“I can help you.”
Your eye twitched. There was a brief silence as Jeonghan anticipated your response, his mouth slightly agape as his eyebrows rose.
“Huh?”
Your confusion made him giggle, dropping his arms down next to his body to fully close the space between you. “Listen,” he started, licking his lips. “I will help you get Soonyoung.” You were suddenly feeling very self-conscious having him so close to you.
“I’m not surprised he hasn’t noticed, since he’s oblivious as it is,” he continued. You looked away at his words, chewing on the inside of your cheek.
“He’s one of my best friends, so it won’t be that hard.” he hummed, taking you in.
You forced yourself to look back into his eyes, a silent exhale passing through your lips. This had to be some kind of setup. There had to be something behind it he wasn’t telling you.
“Who says I want your help?” you glared at him, furrowing your eyebrows.
Jeonghan seemed to like your answer, a wide smile spreading on his face.
“Suit yourself. I’ll tell him about your little crush myself.”
Your eyes widened a bit, looking at him in disbelief.
“Why do you even care that much, Jeonghan?” you crossed your arms, a part of you knowing very well he would happily inform his friend of your stupid secret.
“I’m bored.” he simply grinned, his expression one of an evil mastermind.
Despite already having agreed with Jeonghan beforehand, you felt nervous about sitting next to him in class. You liked sitting near the front, a bit meticulous about having little to no distractions while taking your notes and listening to whatever your teacher had to say.
Jeonghan always sat in the far back of the class, less caring about the lesson and more about doing whatever it was he was back there. You could always hear him snicker about something, probably because of Soonyoung or Seokmin, treating the hour-long lesson like their own personal bar despite already living together and practically being together most of their time.
Today you sat in the back, jumping in your seat when Jeonghan loudly dropped his bag on the table next to you. You snapped out of your daze, looking up to see the boy already smirking at you.
“You didn’t chicken out,” he observed aloud, as if he thought you would actually back out of his genius plan to catch Soonyoung’s attention. As if the threat of not listening to him didn’t come with consequences.
“I’m a little surprised to be honest.” he chuckled, sitting down next to you.
You sighed, following him with your eyes. “Why?” you decided to take the bait. Jeonghan only smiled. “Nevermind. It’ll be more fun this way.” he hummed, carelessly throwing his phone down on the table. “I already have some things in mind, you’ll see,”
You didn’t even want to imagine what he was implying, rolling your eyes before pulling out your notebook and pen.
“Aigoo.” Jeonghan laughed seeing your pastel pink pen, the top decorated with a cute little duck. Your cheeks burned.
Before you could protest he snatched it from your hand, giggling as he observed it up close.
“How cute. Did you name him?” he grinned, loving how embarrassed you looked. “No.” you hissed, trying to get it back from him. Jeonghan tsked with a smile, avoiding your hand before excitedly scooting closer to you.
He held the pen right front of you, wiggling it in front of your face as he started speaking with a high pitched voice. “Please save me from Hannie! I feel so sad without you, y/n.” he laughed at himself, spinning the duck’s head towards him.
He cleared his throat, giving the object a serious look. “I’ll keep you with me today, but I promise I will give you back to y/n later. Now, tell her goodbye.”
“Seriously?” you grumbled, watching him put the duck back in front of your face.
“Bye y/nnie! See you later!” he said in the same, annoying voice, making a loud kissing sound as he briefly pressed the duck’s beak against your lips.
“Jeonghan!” you complained, pushing his arm away as he laughed. Right as you did so, Soonyoung and Seokmin walked in, the latter visibly surprised you were sitting next to Jeonghan.
“Oh, y/n!” Soonyoung smiled, plopping down in the seat in front of Jeonghan. You smiled at him, suddenly feeling very conscious of Jeonghan’s little plan—which he failed to explain the exact logistics of.
“Hi guys.” Seokmin greeted. He sat down in front of you, his back turned to you as he rumbled through his backpack.
“Hyung, didn’t you say you disliked y/n?” Soonyoung asked, leaning over the backrest of the chair as he looked at his friend obliviously. By his tone you could tell he didn’t mean it in a bad way, he was genuinely interested. Soonyoung always had a way of blurting out whatever he had on his mind.
Jeonghan cocked up his eyebrows, giving you a quick look that was met with a subtle glare. “What? Of course not.” he coolly dismissed his friend’s words.
Soonyoung had a subtle pout in his face, looking around as if he was thinking for a moment. “But you said she’s-“
“I don’t dislike y/n.” Jeonghan roughly cut him off, giving him a stern look. Soonyoung giggled, giving you a warm smile that had you malfunctioning for a moment “I think it’s good you’re becoming friends!” he said, then quickly turned around when the teacher announced herself.
“I’m not too fond of you either, you know.” you grumbled lowly to Jeonghan, making him chuckle. “Aw, did I hurt your feelings? I’m sorry. Promise we’ll have a great time together from now.”
You rolled your eyes again. “Whatever.” you sighed in defeat, forcing yourself to pay attention to the class.
The lesson carried on like normal, but your mind kept wandering. You were a little worried about whatever Jeonghan had in store for you, fearing the worst. How would he even be able to help you with Soonyoung? Was this all some ploy to embarrass you in front of his friends?
Deep in thought, you failed to notice Jeonghan leaning into you, flinching when he suddenly put his hand on your knee. “Thinking of me?” he whispered. His breath hit your ear, making the hairs on your arms stand up.
“What are you doing?” you asked quietly, keeping your eyes on the teacher and hoping she wouldn’t notice what was happening.
“Don’t you trust me?” Jeonghan’s voice carried a hint of amusement, and you could practically hear him smile as he spoke. “No.” you admitted quickly. Jeonghan chuckled. “Relax, this is all part of it.” he gently squeezed your knee, making you pout a little. The action had you meet his eye, yet you barely turned to him, not wanting it to seem like you were talking to him in the middle of class.
“Come closer. You have to at least put in an effort if you want Soonyoung to think we’re dating.” Jeonghan whispered, pulling you closer towards him by your knee.
Your eyes widened, looking at him in bewilderment as you felt his side pressing into yours. “D-dating?” you almost gasped. “Yeah?” Jeonghan said as if you were stupid. “How else do you want to catch his attention?” he said, like it was obvious this is what you were going to do from the start.
“Like, suddenly? It’ll be weird.” you mumbled, ignoring the heat radiating off his body. Jeonghan shrugged. “We don’t actually tell anyone we’re ‘dating’. They just need to speculate that there’s something going on between us—and it's Soonyoung. He’ll believe anything.” His hand moved from your knee to hang over the backrest of your seat, trying to appear somewhat close to you.
“Watch.” he looked at the front of the class for a moment before leaning back in to reach your ear. “Look at our teacher. Don’t you think it’s funny how she always wears those ugly shoes with that gap between her big toes?” you caught sight of what he was talking about, wheezing at his description. “The loafers? They’re kinda popular right now…”
Jeonghan smiled. “They look like hooves. Hideous.” that made you laugh, catching Soonyoung briefly looking back at the two of you. “I want to burn those ugly horse shoes so bad.” he continued, very aware of his friend now paying attention to you.
“Guys,” Soonyoung whispered to the two of you, a little smile on his face. “Ignore him.” Jeonghan whispered.
“Popular or not, I need them gone.” he continued as if he didn’t hear Soonyoung.
“Hey, guys,” Soonyoung said a bit louder, leaning over.
“Hmm?” Jeonghan cocked up his eyebrows, turning his head to the boy.
“What’re you laughing at?” he asked, hoping to join in on the fun. You allowed yourself to look at Soonyoung now too, waiting for Jeonghan to speak.
“Huh? Oh, nothing…” Jeonghan giggled, putting his hand on your shoulder. Soonyoung pouted a little, softly nodding before looking back in front of him again, figuring whatever you were whispering about wasn’t anything of importance.
“See?” Jeonghan lowly said, a smirk tugging on his mouth. You didn’t reply, watching him play with your pen in his free hand.
You couldn’t focus for the duration of the class, looking down at your blank notebook realizing you hadn’t been taking any notes, despite Jeonghan putting his pencil on your desk. His fingers played with the fabric of your shirt, not paying you any mind as he listened to the teacher.
After the hour-long lesson Jeonghan waited for you to gather your stuff, Soonyoung and Seokmin already exiting the classroom as per Jeonghan’s request to not wait up for him.
It felt oddly good getting all this attention suddenly, despite it coming from someone you had disliked for a year. Jeonghan really wasn’t as bad as you’d made him out to be, and a part of you liked being included in his circle and getting closer to him. It also made you nervous, never fully knowing what to expect from him.
“That was… interesting.” you told Jeonghan, looking up at him. He stood next to you with his arms crossed over his chest. You zipped up your bag, starting to walk out of the classroom with him. “Of course, told you it would work.” Jeonghan simply said, slowly walking through the hallway. “It would’ve even been better if you weren’t so awkward.” he sighed, looking at you. Your neck burned a bit, avoiding his eyes. You hadn’t realized you were being awkward.
“Meet me at the frat after you finish all of your classes.”
“What?” you frowned at his words.
Jeonghan had a blank look on his face. “Am I speaking french? You have to get used to us being together.” he said almost boredly, halting in front of your next class. You blinked at him before slowly nodding. It wouldn’t hurt to make it seem more believable. “Alright.” you said quietly.
The corners of his mouth rose, winking at you before starting to walk off.
“See you later!” he called over his shoulder, leaving you to ponder on what he’d planned.
A strange feeling settled in your stomach as you waited for Jeonghan in front of the big house, looking around the street observantly.
The street wasn’t too busy, but there was a different atmosphere over at the frat row. The possibility of seeing all these boys—probably all friends with each other—was enough to make you nervous. You didn’t trust them, and you weren’t convinced any of them would see you as their equal—not for any societal reasons per se, but because you barely made any noise in the typical tight-knit college community on campus.
It had been different being together with your friend last weekend, a fickle but comforting energy knowing you weren’t alone, even if it had only been for a little while before she disappeared with Mingyu. You’d had time to settle.
Safe to say you felt out of place this time around.
The sudden sound of the door opening then drew your attention.
“There’s my little ducky.” Jeonghan grinned, motioning for you to come in. He laughed at the look you were giving him, slamming the door shut before leading the way.
Your worries seemed to melt away already, but you still felt somewhat nervous at the possibility of having to meet new people.
“You still didn’t give me back my pen,” you told him as you blindly followed. He smiled as he walked past the kitchen to the hallway, looking back at you for a moment. “I’m keeping it,” he said casually.
You sighed in defeat, more focused on your surroundings than to give him a proper reply. The house was mostly quiet, and thankfully you didn’t see anyone apart from hearing muffled voices from whatever room you were passing by.
“Could you walk any slower?” Jeonghan cocked up his eyebrows waiting for you to enter the opened door of his bedroom. You rolled your eyes at him.
Once inside you started to become aware of where he’d taken you, looking around his room while chewing on your bottom lip.
It looked like any other ordinary bedroom, spare for the few knick-knacks and the collection of shoes in the corner. There were tubs of skin care and school books on his desk, and some discarded clothes draped over his chair.
“So… is Soonyoung home?” you asked carefully, not really sure why you were in his bedroom with him.
“No,” Jeonghan said as he took a seat on his bed, simply watching you.
You looked at him, gulping. “Oh…” you said softly, progressively getting more flustered as he held eye contact with you.
Jeonghan chuckled, motioning for you to come closer. “Come here,” he extended his arm, patiently waiting for you to grab his hand. “This is just practice. You have to get used to us touching, ducky.” he smiled cheekily, watching you hesitantly close the space.
He had a point. You told yourself it wasn’t a big deal, but you still felt overwhelmingly nervous as you grabbed his hand. Vulnerable. As you felt his skin, you noticed how long his eyelashes were, the sharp inner corners of his big eyes complimenting his pretty brown irises. His hand felt warm, but you felt weird. It was strangely intimate for some reason, and you wondered if he thought the same.
“Don’t be so tense, y/n. Just act like you normally would.” he chuckled, pulling you closer than you already were, now standing between his parted thighs. You didn’t have anything to say to that, trying not to show how nervous you suddenly felt.
“Why are you looking like that?” Jeonghan cocked his head to the side, reading you for a moment. “Don’t tell me you’ve never had a boyfriend before,” he grinned, already convinced this had been the reason for your silence.
He laughed when the ghost of a pout appeared on your lips, almost making you want to pull your hand away if it weren’t for him already tightening his grip on you.
“Cute. That’s why you’re so shy, hm?” he smiled with a wicked glint in his eyes. “Don’t mock me.” you mumbled, rolling your eyes before looking away. Jeonghan laughed again, shaking his head. “I’m not.” he lied, smiling in amusement.
“Whatever,” you said, your eyebrows scrunched together as you looked at him again.
“Hey, don’t be mad, ducky. I told you it’s cute.” Jeonghan hummed, suddenly wrapping his free arm around your waist and pulling you onto the bed with him.
You gasped in surprise, bracing a hand on his chest as he pulled you closer, both arms wrapping around you as you lay curled on your side.
“You scared me!” You whined, hitting his chest. “Ow!” Jeonghan giggled, smoothing a hand over your hair. “Sorry.” he chuckled. “C’mere.” he softly urged your head to his chest before stroking your hair.
You sighed in defeat, ignoring the knot in your stomach. “You asked me to come over to cuddle?” you sulked, not seeing why it would be of importance.
“Yes? Things like this matter if you want us to be believable.” Jeonghan sighed, looking at you. You met his eye for a second, resisting the urge to roll your eyes again before looking out in front of you instead.
“I don’t even know why we’re doing this. I doubt it will work.” you murmured, unconsciously nuzzling your cheek against his chest. Your cheeks burned as you realized what you were doing, hoping Jeonghan wouldn’t make fun of you for it.
Jeonghan purposely tugged on the ends of your hair a bit too hard, earning him a glare whilst he just smiled. “It’s a shame you still don’t believe in my expertise.” he exhaled a long breath as if he was disappointed. “You have to be all in if you want this to succeed, ducky.” he smiled.
“Stop calling me that,” you mumbled. “And If I remember correctly, you didn’t give me much of a choice, Jeonghan.” you then grumbled, making him laugh for a moment. You could feel his chest shake.
“Still,” he said, ignoring your first words.
You sighed. “Right.” you agreed. You just hoped it would be enough to interest the boy you’d liked since childhood.
“I swear if you embarrass me…” you then added, looking at Jeonghan.
He blinked slowly, just looking at you for a second. “Of course not.” he said in more seriousness, and you realized that’s all you wanted to hear from him.
You slowly nodded. “Okay.” you almost whispered, giving him a little smile. Jeonghan smiled back at you, resting his cheek against the side of your head.
You were both silent after that, finding comfort in each other’s embrace. It felt nice, having someone to finally hold you.
But the comfort unsettled something, too. Truth is, you were a very lonely person. In your twenty-something years, you’d never had anyone pursue you romantically. Which you told yourself was fine—at first. But as the years passed, and those who took an interest in you somehow always ended up disappearing, you began to think something must be wrong with you.
Still, the loneliness didn’t mean you lacked feeling. That had been the whole problem. You loved deeply, too much, sometimes so much that your fingers shook with it. It pulsed deep within you, burning to engulf and to take and keep taking. You were ashamed of the enormity of your desire, disgusted almost. You were scared that if you’d ever get a taste, you’d feast. You’d devour until nothing remained, only yourself and the wounds of your greediness.
You thought yourself to be destructive, not to be trusted with even a sliver of it—even if a pair of warm arms around you had been all you’d ever wanted.
You’d become too much one too many times in the past, and no one wants someone who’s too much. You told yourself love probably just wasn’t meant for you. Maybe you didn’t deserve it. At least not in this lifetime.
You knew whatever you and Jeonghan were doing wasn’t real—not really. But a part of you had started to wonder. You could feel that same warmth you’d come to resent starting to bloom, and it scared you. You didn’t want to mess up again. Didn’t want to scare away the one person you were starting to let in.
You blinked away tears, not because of your pain, but because Jeonghan’s embrace was bringing you so much comfort.
“This feels nice.” you whispered, feeling a bit stupid for suddenly saying something so vulnerable.
Maybe you really were greedy—doing all this to try to get Soonyoung, when you were convinced he would never want you anyway. Or if he did, he’d end up leaving just like everyone did.
Jeonghan hummed, oblivious to how emotional you suddenly felt. He kept stroking your hair. “Do you want to take a nap, ducky? I’m getting a bit tired,” he admitted, chuckling. You nodded against his chest, happy at the opportunity to have him like this a bit longer.
Jeonghan pulled you even closer, sighing against your hair after closing his eyes. You carefully put your arm around him.
You tried not to overthink it anymore, closing your eyes to try to sleep.
Not long after, Jeonghan’s breathing started slowing, and the hand that kept stroking your head now rested somewhere in your mess of hair. The rise and fall of his chest gradually helped lull you into sleep with him.
Soft humming filled your ears, waking you up with a frown as you blinked in confusion. The sweet and airy sounds continued as you looked up at Jeonghan, suddenly remembering where you were.
Jeonghan met your gaze once you moved, the light from his phone behind your head illuminating his face as he stared back at you. He couldn’t contain his laughter seeing your tired face, letting his head fall back as he put his phone down.
You only sighed before pushing yourself up, too dazed to curse at him already.
It seemed like Jeonghan hadn’t moved at all as you were sleeping, silently scrolling on his phone while he had patiently waited for you to wake up. Whilst you had a nice nap, you couldn’t help feeling a bit embarrassed—and maybe ashamed—about letting yourself get so comfortable around him already.
It took a lot of you to feel at ease around others, and you just hoped Jeonghan wouldn’t take advantage of your vulnerability despite his reassuring words.
“You woke up at a perfect time, sleepyhead.” Jeonghan smirked at you, watching you rub your eyes.
“Why?” you asked with a frown, the boy copying you by sitting up as well. He grabbed his phone again, crossing his legs before showing you the live location of a food delivery driver entering the street.
“You ordered food?” you looked at him. Jeonghan smiled, eyes closing in a slow nod. “I’ll be right back, ducky. Don’t miss me too much,” he tapped your nose playfully before pushing himself off the bed, chuckling at you rolling your eyes as he sauntered out of his bedroom.
Jeonghan returned within a minute, flashing you the plastic bag with a smile before sitting on the edge of the bed.
“I got us burgers.” he announced, pulling out two white wrappers and a bag of fries to put in between you.
Jeonghan ate a fry, humming as he chewed while opening a packet of ketchup. “Are you hungry?” he asked, grabbing a couple of fries again. You nodded, unwrapping your burger slowly before meeting his gaze again.
Jeonghan cocked up his eyebrows, smiling as he watched you. “What’s going on in that little head of yours?” he asked in amusement.
You sighed, frowning for a bit as you searched for your words.
“Do you think… we’ll even convince him?” you asked him hesitantly.
Jeonghan cocked his head to the side. “Of course we will. You don’t think so?” he took a bite of his burger, nodding his head towards yours to get you to eat already.
“I’m not sure,” you sighed again before looking down at your cheeseburger, choosing not to further bother him with your insecurities before finally taking a big bite.
He could tell you had more on your mind than you led on, carefully watching you as he chewed his food. Jeonghan chose not to ask too many questions—not yet.
After finishing your food you headed back to the sorority. It was dark out, and if you stayed out for much longer your sorority sisters would undoubtedly start asking questions you didn’t want to answer.
As you left the frat you thought about how different Jeonghan really was compared to how you’d perceived him. He was funny, and more importantly, he was kind. So kind he’d given you his jacket so you wouldn’t get cold on your walk home. It felt good being around him, as though you were finally seen. Really seen.
You zipped up the dark blue jacket, the back adorned with big white ΙΖ' lettering, smiling to yourself like a creep as you thought about all of the dumb jokes Jeonghan had fed you the whole night.
Soonyoung sipped on his diet coke as he watched Seokmin and you work on your assignment, brown irises flickering between the two of you as he sat in silence.
He didn’t notice the familiar jacket you’d purposely left on the table next to your laptop, or how awkwardly your frame shifted in the stiff chair beneath the buzzing lights of the study hall.
You hadn’t been in contact with Jeonghan all day, assuming you’d see him again at the group meeting. Only he hadn’t shown up, the boys beside you mentioning how he’d told them he had been too tired to leave the house.
It had only been half an hour since you’d started working on coding a website for your three product skincare line—a task that would be a whole lot easier if Soonyoung and Seokmin had done their part of the assignment. Which they hadn’t.
At least you’d gotten somewhere today. The basics weren’t hard, you’d already finished most of the HTML structure and some basic CSS. To continue you needed to know what products you’d use—Seokmin’s task—and the color scheme and logo that would represent your website—which was what Soonyoung had to do.
You reminded yourself you all had the whole semester to finish, so for now you could relax. But you felt anything but relaxed, your body on edge in the presence of Soonyoung.
The screen of your phone lit up, your jaw ticking when you read the message.
Yoon Jeonghan: go flirt with him ;)
You accidentally met Soonyoung’s gaze, forcing yourself to give him a stiff smile. Soonyoung smiled back at you, straightening up in his chair before motioning to your laptop.
“Can I see?” he had a hopeful look on his face, his chubby cheeks growing in size as he smiled wider.
Jeonghan’s words echoed in your head, sending your pulse racing. Your stomach felt tight, gulping before you nodded and turned the screen to him. Why was this so hard?
“Oh! You did all this?” Soonyoung scanned the simple website you’d created, easily impressed by your abilities.
You nodded. “Yeah… It’ll look better after we have a logo and stuff,” you rambled, watching Soonyoung slowly pout. “Right,” he giggled, exhaling a soft breath. “I’ll get us a kick-ass logo soon, promise.” he smiled, making Seokmin chuckle in amusement. He obviously didn’t have much trust in his friend.
You called it a day soon after, feeling a bit defeated as you had no idea how to go about this. Sure, it was one thing to fake-date Soonyoung’s best friend, but without Jeonghan you had no clue how to act in front of him. You felt lost.
Things were basically the same as before—strictly friendly. That was it.
You sighed in defeat at the scene in front of you. Small groups of random students you didn’t recognize sipped on their cheap bottles of beer, chatting away without a care in the world.
“We won’t be long,” Jeonghan bumped your shoulder, already reading your mind. He smirked at the glare you were sending his way. “We just need to be seen together.” he explained for what seemed like the nth time, making you hum uninterested.
The frat seemed to get rowdier by the minute as Jeonghan poured you a drink in the kitchen. A special drink, or how he’d called it.
You didn’t want to admit it, but you were feeling nervous. It was the first time you’d so openly be seen together with Jeonghan. And you were still doubting all of it.
It wasn’t only the inquisitive eyes of strangers you dreaded—or Soonyoung’s, it was also the fact that your best friend would come.
You had no idea how you would convince her you’d randomly started dating Yoon Jeonghan out of all people, afraid she’d see right through you. How could she not?
Jeonghan handed you a glass with an almost black liquor, cocking up his eyebrow at you as he waited. You accepted it hesitantly before taking a big gulp. You figured you needed alcohol for this anyway.
“God, what’s in this?” you cringed at the heavy flavor, making the boy next to you laugh.
“You’ve never had jagermeister?” he snorted before bringing the rim to his quirked lips.
“Straight?” your eyes widened, watching him swallow down the drink.
“No, silly. I added coke.” he smiled, the essence from the liquor coating his lips.
You rolled your eyes, relaxing as he put his arm around you. “Calm down, ducky. You’re so on edge today,” he observed aloud, softly squeezing your shoulder. You only sighed, scanning the body of people before you.
Almost immediately, you made eye contact with Jaehee, who excitedly walked up to Jeonghan and you. She seemed pretty smug when she noticed Jeonghan’s arm around you, tilting her eyebrows playfully as she got closer.
“Hi y/nnie, Jeonghan,” she grinned. Jeonghan gave her a courtesy nod, smiling politely as he slid his hand down to rest atop your waist. The sensation of having his hand there caught you off guard for a moment.
“What’s all this? You know you’re not supposed to mix business with pleasure, right?” She teased, awfully surprised at the seemingly random pairing.
You didn’t question her reaction. Despite her not knowing about the grudge you’d held against Jeonghan for well over a year, she was very aware of your crush on Soonyoung. Which made Jeonghan and you together somewhat odd.
“Guess the cat’s out of the bag,” Jeonghan chuckled, pulling you closer to kiss the top of your head. “Had to pull out all of my charm for this one,” he continued, and you admired how well he was playing his role.
“Oh, i’m sure. You got the pick of the litter, Yoon Jeonghan,” Jaehee winked at you as she talked you up.
Her eyes easily found Jeonghan again. “But, make her sad once and see what happens.” Her lips pressed together in a straight line.
Jeonghan smiled, looking down at you as if you were the only one in the room. “I wouldn’t dream of it.” he almost whispered as you met his eye. You only blinked at him, not knowing how to respond before he chuckled at you and softly nudged your cheek with the back of his fingers, leaving the skin tingling from his touch.
“I have to restock the coolers real quick before the beer bros start complaining,” Jeonghan squeezed your waist before letting go of you. “I’ll give you two a minute.” he smiled, patting your head before walking off.
“What the fuck?!” Jaehee yell-whispered at you as you watched Jeonghan disappear. You had to remind yourself to act natural. This was all a part of the plan, after all.
“You’re dating Jeonghan? How did that happen?” Jae crossed her arms over her chest, a pleased smirk forming on her glossy lips.
You gave her a smile. “Oh, you know…” you brushed it off, chuckling.
“Is this why you’ve been so off lately?” she asked, shaking her head in amazement. You frowned as you took a sip of your overpowering drink. “I haven’t been off,” you told her after finishing your glass in one gulp.
“You so have!” she giggled, pushing your shoulder playfully. You only laughed, shrugging. “Maybe.” you pouted, giggling at the expression she was giving you.
Jaehee shook her head again in amazement, turning to the kitchen island to pour herself a drink.
Though you did feel bad for lying, you tried not to think about it for now. You’d tell her eventually, after all of this would merely be a funny memory you’d laugh at looking back.
“So,” she started, turning back to you with a mischievous grin. “Did you have sex with him yet?” she leaned in, reading your reaction carefully.
“Jaehee…” you rolled your eyes and laughed, trying not to seem too caught off guard at the question. The thought of it brought goosebumps to your skin, and you reached for the bottle of vodka on the counter to mask the shaky breath you suddenly had to let out. You needed it for emotional support anyway with Jeonghan not there to do the talking for you.
“Oh, come on! You got your first boyfriend and you want me to be cool about it?” she sulked.
“I don’t want to jinx anything yet,” you told her coolly, chuckling at her sighing out loud. “Fair.” she smiled sweetly, dropping it for now.
Soonyoung hadn’t spared you a second glance after his initial greeting—a mere wave—off laughing with Seokmin and some random girl for what had already felt like hours.
Jeonghan had been gone for a while already, and you were starting to feel restless without him. You blamed it on the scene in front of you—the way Soonyoung’s laugh echoed far too loudly at whatever the girl was telling him, his arm deliberately brushing her shirt. Your skin prickled almost painfully at the sight as you tried to pay attention to Jae’s rant about something Mingyu had done.
Still, Seokmin was right there. Equally as loud, friendly, exactly the buffer that should’ve made all of this easier to stomach. And yet… it didn’t. The restlessness lingered like a breath you couldn't fully release. An itch you couldn’t reach.
You kept glancing over at Soonyoung, but the longer you looked, the less you recognised him. The somewhat quiet, awkward kid you used to know felt like someone else entirely now. You were beginning to fear that you were chasing a past version of him, one that didn’t even exist anymore. You realised you were looking through the lens of someone who used to know him.
Maybe you were just doing this all wrong. Maybe if you were louder, or bolder—better, you wouldn’t be feeling this defeated.
There was a dull, stubborn ache in your chest that kept on growing, one that you couldn’t ignore no matter how hard you tried. The thought of doing all of this without even knowing if you still even wanted it stung, and all you wanted was to flee. All you wanted was for Jeonghan to make you laugh again.
“Fuck, okay—I’m gonna go find him,” Jaehee sighed after getting out all her pent up frustration, taking the remainder of her drink as a shot. “I’m going to confront him—remind him I’m a bad bitch who doesn’t take shit. Wish me luck.” Her jaw stiffened, eyes scanning the room to catch sight of Mingyu.
“Good luck, girl,” you forced a smile. You really didn’t want to be by yourself right now. But you didn’t say anything, watching her sigh before getting lost in the crowd.
You had the perfect opportunity to leave the party, walk the short route back to the sorority and simply call it a night. The alcohol had made you tired anyway.
Yet you found yourself sipping on another drink on the couch.
You were hoping Jeonghan would come find you. Whenever you were with him you seemed to forget about everything that gnawed at you. He was quickly becoming your comfort in all of the chaos you felt. Maybe he was the cause of it, too.
As if on cue, you spotted the long-haired boy in the sea of people. “There you are,” he said when he got close enough. His voice soothed you, and you already felt a bit better. Jeonghan slotted himself next to you on the couch with a low groan, his warm hand finding your knee as if it were natural.
“What’s wrong?” he squeezed you when you didn’t greet him. You shrugged.
Jeonghan looked at you for a moment, his big eyes reading you. “Is this about Soonyoung?” he blinked.
You exhaled a breath. “It’s stupid.”
“Probably,” he said, earning a glare. Jeonghan only smiled.
“C’mon, tell Jeonghannie,” He put his arm around you, pulling you closer to him.
“I hate that.” you grumbled at the way he was referring to himself, making him chuckle. “Stop moping, little ducky,” he began stroking your hair..
You sighed, chewing on your bottom lip. You just looked at him for a moment, his features softening as he noted your hesitance.
“I don’t think I can do this,” you said carefully, frowning a little. You felt vulnerable vocalizing what’d been plaguing your mind, but somehow it eased the weight off your shoulders too.
His brown eyes didn’t leave yours, sympathy growing on his handsome face. Jeonghan then softly hummed in acknowledgment. “Why do you think that?” he simply asked.
You sighed again, looking away. “Just… It’s stupid—I don’t have a chance with him anyway,” you mumbled, making Jeonghan cock up his eyebrows.
“Huh? Of course you do, silly,” Jeonghan softly shook you, smiling at you sparingly. He wondered why you continued to put yourself down.
You looked at him, doubt clear on your face. “I don’t think so.” you shrugged. It was Jeonghan’s turn to sigh. “Well, you’re wrong.” he fixed a stray strand of your hair, putting the lock behind your ear.
You chuckled bitterly. “I’m not his type. I’m not… confident, or assertive… no one ever likes me,” your jaw tightened a bit as you spoke, your throat closing up.
Jeonghan frowned at you, pausing for a moment. “That’s not true y/n,” he shook his head, observing you carefully. “Like, not at all.” He sighed before gently nudging your chin, looking at you. You softly pouted, not really knowing what to say.
“Do you even know how lucky he’d be to have you?” he added, his sweet words only making you somber.
“He’ll see that too, so don't try to act like someone you’re not. You’re already perfect.” Jeonghan reassured you, holding your chin to keep you from looking away from him again. You swallowed a lump in your throat.
“Such a pretty girl…” he then hummed with a smile, only making things worse. You hated how much his words impacted you—how easily they reached the parts of you you tried to keep hidden.
“He’d be such an idiot…” he whispered, taking you in carefully.
You avoided his gaze, unable to repress the tears that were starting to form in the corners of your eyes. You didn’t know why it hit so hard—maybe because you wanted to believe it.
“Aigooya,” Jeonghan reached out to dry your tears. “Don’t cry on me, little ducky,” he pouted before giving your cheek a soft squeeze, slowly starting to smile.
“I’ll talk you up to him, okay? I promise.” he assured you. You blinked away your tears and exhaled a breath to compose yourself, nodding as you gave him a little smile.
“Good. Now, don’t be sad—or Jaehee will scold me for being a bad boyfriend.” he sighed, making you chuckle in the middle of all of this.
“I’m okay… thank you, Hannie.” you sniffled.
Jeonghan cocked his head to the side at the nickname you’d given him, smirking in amusement. “I already got a nickname? I must be good at this fake boyfriend thing.” he teased you, laughing when you pushed him.
“Ow!” he giggled. “Keep teasing me and I might start thinking you actually like me,” Jeonghan grinned, making you roll your eyes. “I’m not teasing you.” you tried not to smile.
“Oh? Calling me that is teasing, ducky.” he put his arm around you again, smiling as he pulled you into his embrace, this time keeping you there.
“You call me that stupid nickname every two seconds and I’m the one teasing?” you looked up at him, your cheek resting against his shoulder as he kept you close.
“I never said I wasn’t,” Jeonghan smirked, almost challenging you to say something back.
You could feel your face starting to heat up, not knowing how to get back at him. There was a brief pause between the two of you.
“You know,” Jeonghan then whispered, momentarily looking behind you before his sharp eyes invaded yours again. He licked his lips before glancing at yours, and the subtle action made you slightly nervous. “I know just how to get people’s attention,” the corner of his mouth rose, waiting on how you’d react. Now you were getting really nervous.
Still, you didn’t know what to say.
Jeonghan looked perfect as he studied you, like he already knew what you were thinking. You were terrified he might. Your quietness, your hesitation… you were convinced it only enticed him. But what if you were just imagining the sudden heaviness hanging in the air?
“What, you don’t want to kiss me?” his lip threatened to curl up again, though he tried his best not to.
Oh.
You blinked at him in surprise, too afraid to assume that he was actually serious.
“Jeonghan…” you whispered shyly, feeling your heart beating out of your chest.
Jeonghan knew you weren’t saying no—he could see it in your eyes, in the way you were looking at him the same way he had been looking at you. You wanted to. He wasn’t dumb. But you were simply too timid to initiate what he’d been alluding to.
He then gently cupped your cheek, fingers burning against your warm skin as he slowly leaned in. His lips parted in a pleased smirk noticing the hazy look hiding behind your eyes, thumb swiping your cheek to lure your blown pupils to meet his, commanding your full and uttermost attention. You melted under his touch, watching his long lashes fan his cheeks as he closed them, before his lips finally met yours in a soft but long kiss.
The party was all a blur by now, fixated on the feeling of Jeonghan’s lips and his body leaning into yours. You felt hot, and maybe not just because of the alcohol in your system. Just when you started to fear he’d pull away, Jeonghan purred against your mouth, holding you tighter before tracing a line on your bottom lip with his tongue. You let him take the lead, let him do as he pleased as he left you whimpering with a mere tug of his teeth.
You realised he’s messing with you even now, feeling him smile whenever he gets a sound out of you. You didn’t care this time, finding your hand suddenly clutching his shirt at his side as Jeonghan deepened the kiss, hearing the wet smacking sounds even over the music you had already tuned out.
You kissed Jeonghan back with equal fever. You were vaguely aware of people watching—You didn’t care. You didn’t want to stop. You moaned into his mouth at the sensation, a mess of spit and teeth that had your cheeks burn with anticipation.
It all felt a little too real—but maybe if you convinced yourself it was as real as it felt, others would believe it too. Even if Soonyoung didn’t see what was happening, word would spread eventually.
Then, he stopped.
“Let’s go to my room,” Jeonghan whispered, linking your fingers together before getting up and pulling you with him.
You only nodded, ignoring the quiet sting of something unfinished as he led you through the body of people, away from the rowdy living room.
You’d gotten what Jeonghan had promised—something to make all of this seem believable. And getting seen leaving together was the icing on the cake.
Your lips still tingled from the kiss, though you tried not to show how much Jeonghan had unraveled you as you entered his bedroom together. You were finally away from the party, and you could let yourself relax now. You exhaled a breath you hadn’t realized you were holding before smiling, feeling Jeonghan’s eyes on you as you kicked off your shoes and crawled onto his bed.
“Mission accomplished,” you joked, lying down with a groan and stretching out your limbs to get comfortable.
Jeonghan didn’t respond. You watched him crawl onto the bed after you, mirroring your movements. You smiled at him, expecting him to roll onto his back next to you—only to freeze when he climbed on top of you instead.
Jeonghan kissed you again. Only this time he didn’t intend on stopping.
Your breath hitched against his lips, hands finding his shoulders as you let him.
The way his weight pressed into you made your head spin, like you were his for the taking.
His elbows framed your face, soft, long hairs brushing your face—you couldn’t think anymore. You didn’t want to think anymore.
“Jeonghan—“ you finally whispered, your body on fire as he shushed you with a long peck. You suppressed a moan and squeezed his shoulder in vain at the way he kept sucking and biting your bottom lip, a veil of pleasure spreading through every inch of you.
“Jeonghan—Wha-what are you doing?” you managed to stutter through your haze, feeling yourself practically glued to the mattress.
Jeonghan cupped your cheeks, giving you a long peck. “Can’t help myself. Y’re just so cute,” he mumbled before kissing you again, sighing when you started kissing him back.
The tips of his fingers found your skin under the hem of your top, brushing your hip almost hesitantly as if you could pull away at any moment, like any wrong move would bring you back to your senses and have you slip away from him.
You pulled him closer, sighing at the feeling of his hand slowly stroking up your side. Your back curled autonomously at the gentle caress, pressing your head into the pillow as Jeonghan ground his hips against yours.
Nimble fingers pulled up the cup of your bra, plumped pink lips pecking your ajar mouth as he squeezed your breast. You spread your thighs wider for him before pulling on the ends of his hair, kissing him hard as you started panting at the friction of his groin grinding against your clothed cunt.
“Hannie…” you whispered, curling your back again.
“Yes, ducky?” Jeonghan asked softly, rolling your nipple between his fingers.
“Please…” you gulped, letting go of his hair to pull at the hem of his shirt.
You’d never fake dated before, but you were sure you were breaking every rule in the book.
Jeonghan slowly started kissing down to your neck, only stopping to rid himself of the fabric you wanted gone. His smooth back felt soft as you shyly traced a line over the fair skin, eyes closing with a sigh when he sucked on a particularly sensitive spot where your neck met your shoulder.
“Is this still okay?” Jeonghan whispered against your skin, his fingers splayed over your exposed stomach where your top had ridden up, softly kneading your waist. You nodded, and he softly moaned when your nails brushed the nape of his neck, tangling gently in his long hair.
You guided his lips back to yours, all signs of modesty ignored, evident in the way your tongue nastily demanded his.
“Fuck.” Jeonghan breathed. “Can I touch you, baby?” he asked, squeezing your waist while his thumbs pushed down against the waistband of your jeans. Eagerly, you nodded. “Yes, please,” you mumbled against his lips, feeling the corners of his mouth tug up.
You sucked on his bottom lip to silence any potential sneer that would follow, smiling at the hushed curse that followed.
Jeonghan kept kissing you as he undid the button of your jeans, fingers dipping into the fabric to tug them down to your knees.
The short sensation of his body grinding against you had already left a mess between your legs, leaving a subtle dark patch on your panties.
You didn’t give Jeonghan much of an opportunity to pull away from you, mewling against his mouth at the sudden feeling of his fingers slowly starting to rub your clit.
Your body started meeting his touch, hips following his movement as your jaw slacked.
Jeonghan softly hummed, brown eyes fixated on your face as he kept pecking your top lip.
“More, Hannie…” your chest tightened when you met his eye, a heavy veil settling over your body as the weight of what the two of you were doing sank in.
Jeonghan looked down at you, taking a beat too long to respond as if he had realized the exact same thing. Then he smiled—almost smirking before applying more pressure.
You moaned, squeezing your eyes shut for a quick second before giving him a hard kiss. You softly shook your head. “More.” you told him again, a short wave of anxiety seeping through your body that instantly disappeared again when he dipped his fingers inside of your panties, finally touching you where you needed him.
“Is this better?” he whispered, smiling when you gave him this look, begging for him to kiss you properly again.
“Yes,” you said almost inaudibly, your nails raking over the back of his neck at the feeling of his soft lips pushing against yours.
He circled your clit with his thumb, his fingers taunting your burning entrance.
You spread your thighs even further, hoping it would lead to him pushing his fingers deep inside of you already.
Instead, Jeonghan took his time teasing your clit and entrance, thumb pushing into your nub as two of his fingers brushed against your wet hole.
Your hands slid to his cheeks, cupping his face before moaning into his mouth. You could feel him smile at the sounds he was inciting out of you, only spurring the both of you on more.
His digits pushed against your entrance, starting to dip inside of you before stopping right when you started to feel your entrance burn. They slipped back against your wet entrance, a chuckle rolling out of his throat when you exhaled a breath of frustration.
“Say please,” Jeonghan purred against your lips, now completely abandoning your core to gently pinch your clit. You exhaled another breath, brows furrowing while your cheeks grew hotter.
“Jeonghan…” you whispered, squeezing his shoulder in hopes of having him give in to you.
“Come on, just like you did before,” he continued, failing to hide how much he enjoyed the reaction he had on you.
You sighed, feeling as if you were cloud nine as he started nibbling on your bottom lip.
“Please…” you gulped, imagining his long fingers pushing inside of you.
“Good girl,” Jeonghan mumbled, his hot tongue finding yours before he did just that, two digits starting to slowly enter you. A moan filled the air, your breath hitching as your pussy stretched to accommodate his fingers.
He moved them at a slow pace, opening his eyes to watch you wither under him. A sight he didn’t want to ever forget.
“Does that feel good, ducky?” Jeonghan whispered, brushing your lips with his. You quickly nodded, trying to keep kissing him despite the overwhelming pleasure that kept building, putting you in a trance.
He went a bit faster, forehead touching yours as his eyes remained glued to your face. Your eyelashes fanned your cheeks, lips twitching and mouth unfurling with every delicious drag of his fingers.
“Mmnh!” you whimpered and bucked your hips when he circled your hard clit, making your thighs twitch at the friction. You tightened around him, clutching his shoulder and pulling him flat against your body as some sort of anchor.
You gasped for air, sliding a leg over his hip before pushing yours up, chasing the orgasm you felt approaching quickly.
Jeonghan kissed your nose before going even faster, dying to watch you come around his fingers.
You bit your lip, squeezing your eyes shut as pleasure bloomed inside of you, consuming you as you reached your high with another loud whimper.
“Fuck,” you moaned, sighing as your thigh unhooked from his hip and slid back down on the mattress.
Jeonghan kissed your cheek, slowly pulling his fingers out of you before sucking them clean while looking at you. He had you speechless.
“Are you okay?” Jeonghan asked softly, your eyes fixated on his plump lips. Slowly, you nodded, feeling slightly unsure as you pecked his lips. Jeonghan smiled.
“You’re cute,” he chuckled, fixing the wild strands of your hair before moving to push himself up. Your hand quickly found his bicep.
“No.” you slipped out, eyes wide and hazy as you looked at him.
Jeonghan tilted his head, blinking slowly. Then he smiled in amusement. “Aren’t you tired, baby?” Jeonghan teased you, his muscles relaxing as he found his previous position again.
You shook your head.
“Do you… do you want to?” you asked a bit unsure, only hoping you weren’t embarrassing yourself. What if the moment was just that—a moment that had now passed.
Jeonghan laughed, giving you a chaste kiss.
“Are you serious? Do you even know how hard I am right now?” he chuckled when you replied with a nod, stroking your cheek with the back of his hand before pushing himself up at last.
You watched him unbuckle his belt, admiring his pretty body whilst he rid himself of his pants. Your eyes followed a path down to his boxers, swallowing a lump in your throat at what you were seeing.
You didn’t expect just how big he were, even with the dark piece of fabric that was still covering his manhood.
“Are you gonna take it off for me?” Jeonghan asked you, his sultry voice and bedroom eyes making your chest thump. Those eyes of his would have you do anything he asked of you.
You suddenly realized you were still lying down with your pants half on, shyly tugging them down together with your panties before discarding them on the floor. You kneeled on the bed, crawling over to where Jeonghan was to push him down and settle between his thighs.
He watched you slip off your top over your head, your bra thrown on the growing pile to the side.
You bit your lip as Jeonghan admired your naked body, his hand reaching out to stroke your thigh.
“You’re so pretty,” he whispered, squeezing your skin. You gave him a small smile, trying to exhale a controlled breath as your fingers splayed over his lower tummy.
“You’re pretty too.” Your lip twitched, eyes leaving his to glide down his figure, your digits hooking into his boxers to pull at the stretchy band.
“Thank you, ducky.” Jeonghan hummed, licking his lips as he watched you get him fully naked.
Your lungs filled up with air when you saw his large cock, the tip glistening and leaking pre-cum already. You weren’t sure if you were able to fit all of him inside of you, and the mere thought of it sinking deep inside made you gulp. In a good way.
Quickly, your hand wrapped around the base, your lips parting as you leaned down a little to let a glob of spit drip down onto the red tip.
Jeonghan sighed, his eyes narrowing as he watched you carefully.
You spread the wetness all over his length, the dirty sounds filling the air even over the subtle music off in the distance. Jeonghan’s body relaxed under your touch, his mouth slightly open as he breathed deeper.
The sight in front of you had your cunt tighten around nothing. You didn’t care that you weren’t supposed to do this. Right now you needed to feel him.
Jeonghan’s hands found your waist, his breath hitching when you straddled him and fisted his hard cock to align the tip against your folds. You kissed him, softly moaning against his lips as you ground your cunt against him.
Slowly but gradually, you started sinking down, a mixture of your moans filling the air.
He was so big, and you struggled to accommodate his thick tip. “Slow down.” Jeonghan groaned, throwing his head back to release a filthy whimper as you ignored him and did your best to keep going.
“Fuck,” you moaned, clencing around his size fruitlessly. You held his shoulders to support yourself, your hips stuttering when you finally sat down on him. You exhaled a shaky breath before rolling your hips, the overstimulation killing you.
You moaned again, feeling him press right onto your G-spot.
He looked so effortlessly pretty like this. The strands of his long hair framed his face, tongue peeking out from plump lips as his chest adorned a new red-colored flush. You could feel him tighten his grip on your waist, big eyes watching you.
You found a steady rhythm, trying your best to keep yourself from cumming already—which proved to be harder than anything.
A yelp came out of you when his thumb brushed your clit just like before, your jaw slacking at the newfound pleasure running through your body. “Fuck, Jeonghan,” you gulped hard, biting your lip and moaning when he thrusted up once to meet you.
“You feel so fucking good, ducky,” Jeonghan moaned, yanking you down by your shoulder to have your chests meet. He put an arm around you, keeping you pressed against you as he planted his feet down on the mattress to fuck up into you. You whimpered hard.
“Sorry, sorry, just need you now,” he groaned, his cheek pressing against your crown.
You squeezed his shoulders, whimpering uncontrollably as he kept a head-spinning pace. You pressed your mouth against his neck, making him curse as your teeth found his skin.
Jeonghan gripped your ass, kneading the skin as the filthy sounds echoed through his bedroom.
Anyone walking past would be able to hear what was happening, and yet you really didn’t care. You were sure Jeonghan didn’t care.
Your body felt on fire, the feeling of his hands gripping you to keep you from moving leaving you breathless.
Then, he rolled you onto your back, pinning your arms above your head by your wrists as he started fucking you again. Jeonghan licked his lips, watching you wither under him with a pair of hazy eyes to match his.
God, he was big. He stretched you out so deliciously, so perfectly. You squeezed your eyes shut when his mouth encircled your nipple, sucking and biting carelessly to take you apart even further.
“Fuck. Gonna cum soon. Can’t take it anymore,” Jeonghan groaned, sucking and leaving a train of love bites from your tit to your neck. You bit your lip and nodded, sighing at how full you felt. You were right there with him, your muscles burning and your cunt pulsing as that familiar feeling spread through your body.
“D-don’t pull out.” you gulped, curling your back before moaning.
Jeonghan gave you a kiss. “Have to, baby,” he told you, trapping your wrists with one hand as the other one found your clit again. You whimpered and squirmed under him, weakly shaking your head.
“Please?” you sighed, bucking your hips. Jeonghan groaned as his lips found yours, his breath hitching.
“God—Are you sure?” he asked, his thrust becoming sloppy.
You nodded soundlessly, feeling like you were floating. As if the world around you didn’t exist.
“Yes, Hannie,” you hooked a leg around his waist, making the both of you moan in each other’s mouth.
Jeonghan felt even deeper now, massaging your bundle of nerves until he felt you starting to cum around him. He cursed at the feeling of your tight pussy gripping his cock, your body going slack against his. He stilled as his warm cum started filling you, softly moving to fuck his release deep inside.
You curled your back in pleasure, exhaling a long breath as you relished the dizzying feeling.
Jeonghan let go of your wrists to cup your cheek, pressing a long kiss on your parted lips before resting his face in the crook of your neck. He stroked your sides as he tried to catch his breath, planting more soft kisses there as his hips slowly moved against yours, before finally stopping.
You stayed like that for a moment, feeling Jeonghan’s chest rise and fall as his cock remained lodged inside of you. Only when you started to feel your mixed release dripping from where you were joined he slowly lifted his hips to let his cock fall out of you.
You bit your lip at the feeling, already missing the closeness you shared.
Jeonghan sat up and fixed his hair before helping you up, holding your hand as he wordlessly walked to the bathroom with you.
“Are you okay, ducky?” he asked softly after running the shower. You gave him a smile, nodding. “I’m good, Hannie. Are you?” you asked him, your smile growing when he nodded.
“Of course,” he squeezed your cheek before signaling for you to enter the shower, watching you step inside before following you.
Sunlight warmed your face, the fraternity oddly quiet compared to the night before. You rubbed your tired eyes before turning to an already awake Jeonghan, blinking at the ceiling as if he was deep in thought.
“Hey,” you said softly, cuddling up next to him.
Jeonghan smiled, putting his arm around you.
“Hi ducky.” he sweetly rubbed your back, tracing patterns on his shirt you were wearing.
You tried not to think too much about what had happened between you two. You weren’t ready to face the consequences of your actions yet, not today at least.
“Do you think Soonyoung saw us?” you then asked him quietly, tilting your head.
Jeonghan got quiet for a moment, momentarily stopping the tracing on your back as he looked at you.
“Yeah. Probably.”
“I think so too,” you hummed, resting your face against his chest. “Hopefully,” you added before smiling, closing your eyes again.
“Right.” Jeonghan looked at you, his fingers finding your hair again.
You didn’t realize how quiet the room had gotten again.
The distant laughing and shouting from the group of boys running around at the school’s football field brought a surprisingly comforting atmosphere–almost calming as the ball got kicked around from left to right.
Your eyes easily found Soonyoung’s figure. He was hard to miss. Maybe you were just naturally drawn to him, despite the doubt that had started growing inside of your head.
It had merely started as a tiny seed, a speck of uncertainty that had grown into something bigger—clouding your mind ever since that day not long ago. The same day where you ended up sleeping with Jeonghan.
It had only been a few days since then, but you just couldn’t figure out why you were starting to fear this plan of Jeonghan somehow working.
It’s not that you had even an inkling of trust in this plan—that hadn’t progressed one bit, mind you—It was just that Jeonghan seemed to have some kind of magical power to get whatever he wanted.
He was alluring. A pretty face that knew just what to say and when to say it was truly a deadly combination. You were sure he could convince you to jump in a ditch if he smiled at you right.
Maybe you were right to enjoy your time with Jeonghan while you figured out what you really wanted. It was no use to put an end to it now—not when your new friendship with Jeonghan was making you feel a lot happier than you’ve been for the past few years. Nothing wrong with that, right?
“Keep still,” Jeonghan teasingly pulled you back by your lock of hair he was braiding, snapping you out of your train of thought.
“Ow!” you complained with a pout, giggling when Jeonghan tsked at your obvious exaggeration.
You were sitting in front of his body with your legs crossed, plucking at the blades of grass that tickled the palms of your hands.
“Didn’t you like football, Hannie?” you frowned as your eyes followed the flock of boys running around, ignoring how he sighed whenever you moved too much for his liking. He hummed, carefully tying the bottom of your braid before finally letting go of your hair.
You quickly turned your head, Jeonghan watching your braid snapping to the side as you looked back at him.
“Then why aren’t you playing?” you asked him, watching him chuckle at you before carefully moving your braid over your shoulder.
“Can’t I spend time with my girlfriend?” he smirked at you, laughing when you rolled your eyes. “I’m being serious,” you sighed, scooting to sit next to him. “Me too.” Jeonghan grinned, draping his arm around your shoulder right as Soonyoung giggled in the background. You briefly glanced at him, exhaling in amusement as you watched him laugh, running to the other side of the field with others hot on his heels, kicking the ball in the direction of the goal.
Your eyes naturally found Jeonghan again, watching the corners of his mouth lift up as you made eye contact. For some reason the energy felt heavier in this moment, and you were overly aware of how close you were sitting. You could feel his chest expand as he breathed, smell the peach shampoo off his dark hair—or the subtle peppery, bergamot scent from his perfume that mixed in whenever he moved.
You gave him a half-smile before quickly diverting your gaze down back to the grass, routinely pulling at the blades again.
“Did you—Did you ever talk to him?” you scrunched your eyebrows momentarily as you broke the silence, shortly looking at Jeonghan before watching the blades of grass in your hand get carried away by the wind.
“Hm?” Jeonghan leaned into you at your question, his fingers finding the end of your braid to toy with.
“I mean—Did you talk to Soonyoung for me?” you clarified, looking at him sparingly.
“Oh—right. Yeah, I did,” He told you, making you kind of worried with the way he didn’t share more.
“And…?” You asked unsure, feeling more and more insecure by the second. Even the possibility of catching Soonyoung’s eye after all of these years brought goosebumps to your skin.
“He said you’re insanely cute,” Jeonghan told you, watching your reaction.
You blinked in surprise, your lips forming a subtle pout as you took in his words. Slowly, you nodded, flashing Jeonghan a small smile. “Really?” you asked him, caught off guard. Jeonghan nodded, making you giggle by squeezing your cheek. “Yes, really. I mean, who could ever resist you? It was bound to happen eventually,” he shrugged, making you cringe and bump your shoulder into his chest.
Truth was, Jeonghan was lying straight through his teeth. He had never talked with Soonyoung about you after making his promise to you. He was never planning on it, either. He didn’t know why, but for some reason he just didn’t want to. Maybe it was selfish of him, but he didn’t want to put an end to this fake relationship. Not when being with you felt like remembering something warm from a dream he didn’t want to forget.
“Hey guys!” Soonyoung exclaimed happily as he ran up to Jeonghan and you, a football tucked under his arm. “Did you see me score?!” he carelessly dropped the football before plopping down on the grass in front of the two of you, letting the ball roll a bit before settling beside him.
“Oh, of course we did Soonyoungie!” Jeonghan smiled at him, and you felt his hand find your shoulder again as he fed him the little white lie. “You did so well,”
You watched Soonyoung, his cute eyes progressively getting smaller upon getting praised by his older friend. He giggled sweetly, meeting your eye as he smiled open-mouthed, like a puppy waiting to get a treat.
“You were great,” you nodded at him, your body responding to having him in front of you after finding out what he’d supposedly said about you.
“Thank you, y/n!” Soonyoung giggled again, pouting in satisfaction. He looked almost shy, yet his demeanor quickly changed when he realised he actually came to ask something.
“Oh—Mingyu and I were thinking of cooking some meat and having drinks at home. You guys are coming too, right?” he looked between Jeonghan and you, his face relaxed as he expected you’d say yes.
You opened your mouth to answer, but Jeonghan started speaking right before you got the chance to. “We are actually about to head to y/n’s place, right ducky?” Jeonghan asked with his mouth dangerously close to your ear, his fingers starting to stroke your shoulder over your top.
You looked over at Jeonghan for a second before looking at Soonyoung. “We were?” you blinked dumbly before realising Jeonghan had made it up on the spot. He chuckled. “Yeah, we were going to work on the project for a bit,” he simply said, and if you didn’t know any better you’d believe him.
“Argh, the project?” Soonyoung scratched behind his ear, smiling playfully.
“Mhm,” Jeonghan only smiled.
“Well, maybe you guys could come after? Seungcheol hyung got us a bunch of weed, it’s gonna be fun!” Soonyoung pushed himself up from the floor as he boasted about tonight, hoping to convince his hyung.
“Yeah, maybe,” Jeonghan said uninterestedly, patting your back before the two of you mimicked the blonde-haired boy and got up from the grass.
As you walked the opposite direction of Soonyoung, exiting the somewhat crowded football field while bumping shoulders with Jeonghan, you found yourself sneaking a look at his pretty face.
His big eyes always drew you in, making you smile as you called his name. There was a hint of playfulness behind his eyes as he looked at you, as if he’d already predicted your action.
“Work on the project?” you only said, cocking up your eyebrow in curiosity.
Jeonghan chuckled, shrugging. “I want to hang out with you,” he admitted. “Just us two.” he added, smiling. “Why, did you want to be with Soonyoungie?” he smirked, his hand bumping against yours. He looked down for a second before looking back at you.
You looked away, failing to hide your smile. “I mean, isn’t that the whole reason why we’re doing this?” you chuckled, hearing him silently giggle. “Sure,” he hummed, smiling cheekily.
Jeonghan silently grabbed your wrist when the distance between you became too big for his liking, closing his eyes in a smile when you looked up at the sudden touch.
“We can go hang with them later, how does that sound ducky?” Jeonghan asked, his tone one of a kindergarten teacher affirming a small child. You hummed, and when Jeonghan silently linked your pinkies together you tried to remain calm. Collected.
“We’ll see,” you said, sneaking a look down at your hands.
Jeonghan almost grinned when he noticed, liking how you tried to act cool, as if you felt normal about it. Only, you could tell what he was doing, mustering up your courage to convince him you did feel very much normal about linking pinkies with him.
“You do know Soonyoung isn’t around, huh?” you gave him a look, smiling when he did too.
“I know,” he simply said. “But others might see us. It’s called being prepared, baby.” he purred, making you roll your eyes, though you couldn’t hide your amusement even if you tried.
“Whatever.” you sighed, making the corners of Jeonghan’s mouth twitch.
“Are you just going to stand there or are you going to help me?” you narrowed your eyes at Jeonghan, who was currently busying himself with smelling each bottle of perfume you had in your possession.
“Found my favorite,” Jeonghan turned to show you the perfume you usually wore, taking his time spraying it on his wrist and letting it dry down before smelling it on his skin. He sighed in contentment, smiling before setting it back.
“It smells best on you,” he concluded with a small shrug before finally walking towards you, sighing when he actually saw you with your laptop open.
“You really want to work on the project?” He took a seat next to you on the bed before crossing his arms over his chest. You gave him a look. “You mean the project you haven’t worked on for a single minute? Yeah,” you looked at him, making Jeonghan throw his head back in a sigh. “You know I’ve actually helped a lot, smartypants.”
You chuckled. “Yeah, by bossing us around maybe.” you cocked up your eyebrow at him, making Jeonghan scoff in disbelief. “Alright, Miss know-it-all. What have you done, then?” he sighed, smiling at you.
You shrugged, letting him snatch your laptop from your lap. He scrolled through the webpage that was open, brows furrowing slightly as he took everything in.
“Wait, ducky, did you code this?” he looked at you, slightly raising his eyebrows as he waited for your reply. You only nodded.
“Huh,” he exclaimed, blinking at the screen. “How did you do that? Isn’t that like—hard?” he frowned. “I didn’t know you could do this,” he continued, a smile growing on his lips.
You rolled your eyes at him. “Well, I am majoring in software engineering, Jeonghan,” you explained, watching a pout grow on his face.
“Wow, I didn’t know that. How did I not know? You’re so talented, y/nnie,” Jeonghan smiled cheekily, pinching your cheek in affection. You whined as you slapped his hand away, laughing at him. “You never asked,” you chuckled, feeling a little shy.
“Mhm, you’re right. I guess I didn’t…” he clicked his tongue, remembering how he had never really spoken to you prior to getting paired together for the project, how getting to know you had been the least of his worries back then.
He smiled watching you trying not to sulk, finding it cute that you were obviously thinking about his past indifference as well.
“M sorry about that, ducky. I know I annoyed you a lot in the past,” Jeonghan looked at you, fingers instinctively finding your braid again. He ran the pad of his thumb down the textured hair, his eyelashes fluttering as he blinked slowly.
You rolled your eyes playfully, the corners of your mouth tugging up as you realized how much you despised him then. That same smirk that used to irk you whenever you caught Jeonghan’s mischievous expression from the back of class was now the very reason you felt so alive.
“You still annoy me,” you bit your lip trying to hide your smile, laughter bubbling from your throat when your words seemed to catch him off guard, his mouth opening in an ‘o’.
“You’re so gonna regret that.” Jeonghan smirked, quickly setting aside your laptop to tickle you. You let out a scream, trying to squirm away as his fingers crept up your sides to your armpits.
“Jeonghan! Stop!” you laughed, your body instinctively flinching from the attack.
Jeonghan giggled, his eyes almost manic as he relished in the reaction he was getting out of you. “My god, I don't think I’ve ever gotten you this loud, ducky,” Jeonghan smirked, getting one more squeal out of you before allowing you to grab his wrists to stop him.
The boy in front of you definitely did not realize how his words evoked a certain memory with you, cheeks growing hotter as you’re forced to replay the images you’d been actively pushing away for days.
You let go of his wrists when he spoke, “Alright, let’s work on this project then,” he hummed, completely oblivious as he opened your laptop.
You caught yourself looking directly at his mouth, a shameful kind of tingle spreading through your body. You forced your eyes away, looking at your lap instead. You missed his mouth, his kisses. You think you could kiss Jeonghan for hours if he let you. Oh my god, focus, you thought to yourself.
“You okay?” Jeonghan cocked up his brow as he noticed your tense body. You nodded.
“God, I hate this. Okay, whatever,” Jeonghan trailed off as he scrolled through your notes, already dreading having to waste his energy on school. “Did you know I once bribed a teacher so I didn’t have to do a group project?” he briefly looked up to catch your reaction, hiding a smirk as he started typing something.
“What?” You barely caught what he said, gulping when he started laughing out loud. “Just kidding. But it sounded quite believable, right?” he licked his lips, a lock of his hair falling in his eye.
You were sitting so close to each other. You only had to lean in and you could experience the same dizzying sensation of meeting his warm lips again.
So, you did. Jeonghan blinked in surprise when you gave him a chaste kiss, high on adrenaline and drunk on your desires, not giving him a chance to react before kissing him for a second time.
A part of you felt like crying, unable to place all the different kinds of thoughts and feelings that were whirling inside of you. It was all so unfamiliar, and you felt too vulnerable. If Jeonghan were to reject your advances you were afraid of how it would all manifest.
“y/n—“ Jeonghan’s words got muffled when you kissed him again, pushing your laptop away from his lap to kiss him properly.
His hands found your cheeks, tongue eagerly meeting yours as his body crowded you until your back met the mattress. Before you knew it he was already on top of you. “You little minx,” Jeonghan mumbled jokingly, squeezing your face before kissing you harder.
You knew you probably shouldn’t have initiated anything, but it all just felt so natural. You kept kissing him, sucking on his bottom lip before teasingly biting the supple skin. Jeonghan groaned, gripping your shoulders to keep you pinned below him.
“Thought you wanted to go see Soonyoung?” Jeonghan asked, moaning when you purposely tugged on the ends of his hair.
You shook your head, taking in a sharp breath when Jeonghan broke the kiss to tentatively encircle your throat with this hand—softly—just to see your reaction.
He seemed oddly surprised to see the aroused look in your eyes, smirking as he softly leaned in—only to stop right before his lips made contact with yours. He giggled meanly when you tried to kiss him back, a brief veil of shame tingling your body.
“Aw, you wanna kiss me that bad?” he cooed, pouting at you mockingly. Jeonghan loved to have you like this, all shy and nervous. So unsure.
“Are you not gonna answer me, ducky?” Jeonghan tightened his grip on your neck a little, biting his lip as he smiled cockily watching your eyes widen. Only, he easily could tell you wanted more.
“You like this, huh?” he grinned.
You tried to nod. “Like anything u do, Hannie,” you admitted, making him mumble a curse in response.
Your words only spurred him on more, and a euphoric feeling spread through his body as he watched you sprawled out underneath him with his hand fanned out over your throat. The sudden high caught him off guard.
He gave your nose a soft kiss, softly pulling away to look at you. He paused for a moment before letting go of you, smiling apologetically when you seemed confused.
“What’s wrong?” you whispered, frowning.
He sighed. “I don’t know about this, ducky,” Jeonghan slowly turned on his side and moved a lock of your hair from your face, not quite knowing why he suddenly felt this odd feeling brooding inside of his chest.
You mimicked him by turning on your side, staying quiet for a moment as you thought. “Do you… regret what happened?” you whispered, suddenly feeling insecure.
Jeonghan shook his head. “No. No, baby. You know I want to—It’s just—We shouldn’t, you know? We’re only…” he sighed, not finishing his sentence.
You slowly nodded, but you really didn’t care about what was right and what wasn’t. You didn’t want to say it, but you having sex had been because of Jeonghan initiating first. It was his fault, so you really didn’t care.
You leaned in to peck his pout. “I know… I do, just—just for a little bit, Hannie,” you got even closer, the tops of your fingers grazing his chest before finding their way down. Jeonghan stroked your cheek before leaning in to softly kiss you again, sighing as your hand brushed over his crotch.
Despite knowing what was right, he wanted this too. Jeonghan needed to have you. Over and over again.
He began to undo your jeans as your hand slipped down his, smiling as you started stroking his hardening cock.
Jeonghan moaned at the feeling of your hand pumping his length, biting his lip whilst the tips of his fingers teased your slit over your panties.
“No teasing.” you warned him, earning a knowing grin from the boy in front of you.
“Alright,” he released a shaky breath, fingers easily finding your wet clit to play with.
You were both still laying on your sides, and your head tipped back as pleasure bloomed inside of you. Jeonghan took the opportunity to kiss your neck, his teeth dragging across your skin to incite a gasp from you.
“More, Hannie,” you whispered, angling your hips for him.
Jeonghan sucked the skin under your ear, keeping his fingers at a set pace without straying from your bundle of nerves. He knew you’d be asking him for more soon, and that’s exactly why he didn’t plan on giving in just yet.
You squeezed his cock at the lack of response, making him meet your eye as you began moving your hand faster. You could just tell by the look he was giving you he was up to something, sighing at him in pleasurable annoyance.
You went even faster, earning a high-pitched whimper from Jeonghan, who still didn’t give you what you asked for.
Agitated, you halted all movement to hook your leg over his hip, pressing your lips against his while starting to grind your cunt against his hard cock.
Jeonghan firmly grabbed your hip, moaning against your lips as he grinded with you.
Your tongue slipped into his warm mouth, your arms encircling his head to keep kissing him.
Annoying, suffocating clothes found the floor, your bodies quick to find each other again after discarding all of the pieces of fabric.
“Fuck,” Jeonghan mumbled against your lips. He squeezed your ass, helping move you against him till the both of you were left panting in each other’s mouths.
“Please, Hannie. M-more,” you moaned at the friction of his length gliding between your pussy lips, his tip rubbing your clit as his balls pressed against your entrance.
Still, Jeonghan wanted to tease you. An image of you crying, begging for his cock haunted his head, and he needed to see that come true with his own eyes right this moment.
“Can’t,” he said between kisses, making you whine.
“Hannie…” you tried again, nibbling on his bottom lip.
Jeonghan smacked your ass hard, gripping your skin as he moved you harder against him. You moaned at the pain and pleasure, your hand finding a lock of his hair to hold onto.
“Y-Yes we can.” you softly tugged on his hair, commanding his attention. You pecked his lips softly, hoping to get what you wanted.
Jeonghan chuckled in amusement, spanking your ass again. “No.” he said, smiling at the hiss leaving your mouth.
He took notice of you getting agitated instead, figuring if he wanted you to cry for him he needed to fuck you to tears instead.
“Hurry, Jeonghan.” you complained in annoyance, having had enough of his games. Jeonghan hummed, giving you a soft kiss before moving a hand down to grab his hard cock. “You’re so needy,” he said in amusement before aligning his tip with your entrance, only getting a breathless sigh in response.
He sheathed himself inside of you in one go, moaning at the feeling of your pussy. Oh, how he’d missed this.
You whimpered at the stretch, hooking your leg tighter around his hip so it wouldn’t slide down.
Jeonghan started kissing you roughly before beginning to thrust, wrapping his arms around you to keep you pinned against his body. You moaned against his lips, gripping his locks for support as you relished in the feeling of him fucking you.
Still, he had this urge to be even closer to you, though he didn’t know how. Jeonghan rolled you on your back, looking into your eyes as he set a slower, much deeper pace.
“Hannie…” you sighed, cupping his cheeks to give him a long kiss. Jeonghan smiled at you when you pulled back, resting his forehead against yours as he kept going.
He suddenly felt the need to be gentle with you, to show you how much you had started to mean to him in such a short period of time. He couldn’t stop looking at your face—at the way your jaw tightened every time he bottomed out, or how your mouth opened and closed autonomously. Your drawn eyebrows twitched with every sound spilling out of you, the sounds like music to his ears.
You wrapped your legs around his waist, your hips stuttering at how deep he was. “Don’t stop,” you moaned, putting your arms around his torso. You bit your lip as you looked up at him, Jeonghan’s fingers slowly stroking up your side before he wrapped his arms around your body too. You looked at each other, room quiet apart from your mixed pleasure, together with the forgotten sounds of the bed creaking. Rhythmic, deep thrusts brought you both closer to the edge, your breathing getting louder as you forgot about the outside world. Or the situation you were in.
As you came around Jeonghan with a guttural moan, he found himself losing control. You pressed your lips to his, nails digging into his back at the peak of your orgasm. Jeonghan spilled inside of you next, holding you tighter with a groan to match yours.
Your body squirmed, hips slowly grinding against him as you came down from your high. You peeled your lips from Jeonghan, who tried to catch his breath as you gave him a smile.
Somewhere there, he contemplated if he’d just made love to you, blinking through his haze. Did he? Did you think so too?
He gave your cheek a peck before rolling off you, feeling your warm body seeking his. “Tired?” he asked, stroking your shoulder. You hummed while nodding, putting the covers over your bodies.
As Jeonghan lay on his back, catching his breath and watching your blinking, tired eyes grow heavier, it suddenly all made sense to him. The stubborn unwillingness to push Soonyoung to ask you out, the selfish need to keep you close for just a tad longer, or the odd knot in his stomach whenever he looked at you.
His eyes found your soft lips, swollen and chapped from kissing you for what felt like hours. Your mouth shyly curled up as you snuggled against him, the soft pads of your fingers stroking his chest before nuzzling your cheek against his arm. Your naked bodies pressed together, seeking closeness despite still feeling hot from the sex.
He felt it as he looked at you. A warm feeling spread through his chest, reaching every corner and crevice of his body.
Jeonghan had fallen for you.
Before he could stop himself he gently lifted up his hand to stroke your cheek, resisting the urge to sigh when your eyes closed instinctively.
He also realized he had been sabotaging your chances with Soonyoung—not intentionally, of course. Or maybe it was.
Fuck, he felt bad. He felt like an asshole for being so selfish. For falling in love with you.
A part of him screamed at him to just keep going like he had been. Just for a little bit. But it felt unfair to you, despite how much he liked spending time with you. It had been so easy making you a part of his life, his routine—as natural as breathing. He didn’t want it to end.
But he knew you were doing this for one reason only. It was his problem he had fallen for you, and from now on he knew he had to help you.
You were amazing, funny, and smart—And Soonyoung would see that too. He knew he would. He had to. And even though Soonyoung had never explicitly brought you up, you were insanely cute.
“Hey, y/nnie?” Jeonghan whispered, secretly hoping you would be already asleep.
“Hm?” you opened one eye before the other, making Jeonghan smile weakly as he started stroking your hair.
He almost couldn’t get the words out, his voice seemingly stuck in his throat. He forced a cough. “Maybe it would be a good idea to ask Soonyoung out yourself,” he suggested, his tone devoid of sincerity.
You blinked at him, your brain barely functioning with how tired you felt.
“Really?” you whispered, failing to hide the frown creasing your brows. The words almost hurt your stomach. Even if you wanted to, you didn’t think you’d have that kind of courage.
“Yeah. I forgot he’s kinda terrible at making the first move. He can be shy like that. He will definitely say yes, though,” Jeonghan nodded, giving you a smile.
Slowly, you nodded too. “I hope so.” you mumbled, making Jeonghan chuckle.
“I know so. Told you he thinks you’re cute,”
“Alright,” a smile slowly spread over your face. Jeonghan did know Soonyoung best, and if he thought it would work then you would at least try to gather your courage.
“Thank you, Hannie.” You kissed Jeonghan’s cheek before closing your eyes again, relaxing against his warm body as he pulled you closer.
You couldn’t help but feel sad it would really be over like this.
After three whole days of contemplating on how to approach Soonyoung, you were at a loss. It also didn’t help that Jeonghan hadn’t texted you at all in the last couple of days, which was unlike him.
You chewed on your bottom lip as you sat outside on a school bench, ignoring the background noise as the people around you went on about their day.
You really missed Jeonghan. And although you realized you had probably only played a small role in his life, and you had only started to get to know him for a short time, you grieved the time you spent together.
You exhaled a long sigh.
It didn’t matter anymore. This had all been for Kwon Soonyoung anyway.
You had spotted him twice in the last few days. Once on campus, and once sitting outside on the same bench you were sitting on now.
You were hoping he would walk by and spot you, and the conversation would flow naturally from there. A part of you was nervous you would actually see him, afraid you’d shut down and not know what to say, make a complete fool of yourself.
At least you’d have your answer then. You could go back to your boring life to study and not go out again in the safe bubble you’d lived in your entire life.
That had been your life, and you were happy with it. But now, the thought of going back to the way things were seemed boring to you.
No, you needed this to work. You were done sabotaging yourself.
All the doubt, the anxiety, the newfound reluctance that had been growing—it was all merely fear of change. Fear of stepping out of your comfort zone—and maybe, even fear of happiness.
This had all been so scary for you, so new and intense. But it would all be worth it soon. You prayed it would be.
“y/n?”
You snapped out of your haze to find Joshua standing in front of you, his lips curled up in a kind smile.
“Oh, Joshua,” you straightened your back and smiled back at him, noticing the black-rimmed glasses sitting on his nose. Jeonghan had once joked about him wearing them as a fashion statement, and you had to stop yourself from suddenly laughing in his face like a freak when you noticed the lack of lenses in them.
Thankfully, Joshua didn’t notice the weird smile showing on your face.
“How are you doing? I heard you’re getting cosy with Jeonghan these days,” he smirked as he sat down next to you.
You shyly chuckled, shrugging. Though Jeonghan had audibly called what you were doing ‘fake dating’, the two of you had never explicitly mentioned the D word to anyone. Just to avoid scaring off Soonyoung.
For some reason you felt bad for lying to Joshua. You felt like you had genuinely connected with him at the party, and though you hadn’t spent much time with him outside of that one night, you had this urge to tell him the truth.
He wasn’t just Soonyoung or Jeonghan’s friend anymore, he felt a little like yours too. You trusted him.
“It’s nothing,” you told him with a sigh, still pondering on what to do. Maybe a fresh perspective could give you some insight. You kinda needed someone to talk to about this, and what you and Jeonghan did was in the past now anyways.
“Oh? Sure doesn’t seem like nothing with those raunchy hickeys Jeonghan was walking around with the other day.” Joshua had a mischievous twinkle in his eye, and for a split second you could see Jeonghan in him. Maybe that's why you felt like you could be honest with him.
Your face heated up, trying to suppress a smile as Joshua grinned at you.
“Joshua, can I…tell you something? And promise it stays between us two?”
Joshua cocked up his brow in curiosity, but nodded nonetheless. “Of course,” he told you.
You let out a deep sigh. “Jeonghan is helping me get with Soonyoung,” you said carefully, afraid of what Joshua might think. “It’s just for show, or whatever.” you added, watching Joshua cross his arms over his chest.
“You’re not really together?” he asked, making you hum.
“So it’s all for Soonyoung? It’s him you like?” he frowned, and you nodded at him.
“Gosh, and here I thought Jeonghan finally stopped hiding that thing he had for you,” Joshua chuckled, shaking his head. You frowned at him. “Guess I was wrong,” he sighed with a smile.
“What thing?” you leaned into him, cocking your head to the side.
Joshua paused for a moment, blinking. “You know, the teasing in class, trying to get your reaction,” he explained as if you were aware he had actually been targeting you.
“What do you mean? He never teased me.” you frowned.
Joshua laughed at that. “Sure he did. He talked about you a lot, you know. How he loved getting a reaction out of you. You really never noticed?”
You pouted, confused. “I mean, he did annoy me. But I didn’t think it was targeted to me. I don’t think it was.”
Joshua laughed again, his eyes turning smaller as he did. “It definitely was,” he told you in amusement. “I always suspected he had a little crush on you, but he would never admit it to me. Just said he liked teasing you,” Joshua shrugged. “Guess I was wrong, since he’s helping you with Soonyoung.”
Slowly, you nodded. “Right,” you agreed. But there was an odd feeling in the pit of your stomach thinking about the concept of Jeonghan having a ‘thing’ for you.
“You sure looked convincing, though. I’ll give you that. You’ve got everyone fooled.”
His words didn’t reassure you like you had hoped they would. You and Jeonghan needed to look like you were into each other, but not too much. Because would Soonyoung really give you a chance if he thought Jeonghan and you were serious?
“What do you think I should do? Maybe this whole thing has gone too far already,” you chewed on your bottom lip, panic seeping through your body. You should’ve stopped after making out with Jeonghan. And you really shouldn’t have had sex with him. The speculation alone would be dangerous for your potential with Soonyoung.
Joshua put his hand on your shoulder. “I wouldn’t worry too much, y/n. Just go hang out with Soonyoung? If it feels good go ask him out.”
You sighed. “Alright,” you nodded. “I will.”
Joshua chuckled and pushed himself up, fixing the strap of his leather crossbody bag before briefly looking down at his phone to check the time.
“I’ve got to run. Tell me how it went?” he cocked up his brow.
“Okay.” you smiled a little. “Thanks, Joshua,”
Joshua winked at you, turning his body before quickly stopping himself and looking back at you again.
“Oh, and y/n?” he failed to hide a grin. “Try not to sleep with your fake boyfriend.”
You didn’t know how to react as he walked off theatrically.
As days passed, and you found yourself making more and more ridiculous excuses as to not approach Soonyoung, a sudden golden opportunity fell right in the palm of your hands.
Maybe you manifested it, since you hadn’t stopped daydreaming about all the different ways the talk you’d inevitably needed to have would turn out.
You were listening to some music as you did some minor grocery shopping, the basket in your hand filled with an array of fruits, vegetables, and a scandalous amount of snacks to balance everything out.
There was a soft tap on your shoulder, and you quickly turned around expecting you’d been in someone’s way, but instead saw Soonyoung’s chubby cheeks bulge in a cute way as he smiled at you.
You think you preferred the term God’s intervention.
“Hi,” you smiled shyly after taking out your earbuds.
“Hey! What’re you doing here?” Soonyoung giggled, clutching a protein bar in his hand.
You paused briefly. “Grocery shopping?” you said slowly, earning a laugh from the boy.
“Right. Of course.” Soonyoung laughed, peeking in your basket. “Cooking something tonight?”
You nodded. “That’s the plan. I just needed some vegetables for my stir-fry,” you chuckled.
“I wish I could cook. I’m banned from the kitchen,” Soonyoung scratched behind his ear, pouting.
You laughed at that. “Did you set off the fire alarm or something?”
“Twice...”
You laughed again, making Soonyoung smile. “You should cook for me sometime! Maybe I can learn from you.” he chuckled, and the request alone made your ears burn. Was he…?
“Y-yeah—Sure. I’m a good teacher,” you told him, and you suddenly noticed Soonyoung was wearing his football uniform.
“Oh. Do you have a game today?” The two of you slowly made your way to the cash register, chatting as you put your groceries on the conveyor belt.
“Yep. I’m about the head there right now,” he explained, waiting for you as you paid for your stuff. “You remember how we used to play together in elementary school?”
You chuckled at the memory as you walked out of the store together, reliving one of those moments in a very long time.
“The teacher didn’t allow me to play anymore at one point,” you smiled innocently, watching Soonyoung laugh out loud as he remembered exactly why.
“Yeah, because you would always kick the ball over the fence after losing.” he giggled, making you laugh as well.
“I was a sore loser,” you admitted with a shrug, smiling as you walked together. You briefly recognized how easy your conversation flowed with Soonyoung. Maybe you’d be able to muster up your courage after all.
“If you won’t throw our ball anymore, we can play again sometime,” Soonyoung suggested, making your stomach jump.
“Sure,” you replied in kind, as if you didn’t struggle to keep yourself from stuttering.
You made eye contact with Soonyoung, who smiled at you. You smiled back at him, but the corners of your mouth slowly started faltering as you realized you had to finally ask him out. You could faintly hear the yelling of a group of younger boys as you approached the football field, and you knew you had to act fast before it would already be too late.
“Hey, Soonyoung?” you called out his name a bit insecure, slowing your steps to fully get his attention on you.
Soonyoung lifted up his brows with that same smile, slowing down to match your pace, which came to an abrupt halt.
“Um,” you gulped. You took in a breath. “Do you… Would you like to go on a date—with me?” you inhaled deeply, trying to slow your breathing. You bit your bottom lip, already cursing yourself for your choice of words. Did you ask at the wrong time? Should you have asked differently?
When Soonyoung’s smile faded, and a confused expression took over his handsome face, you started rambling, “I mean—I’ve liked you since we were kids and—and—If you don’t like me like that then that’s fine too. I-I just thought—“
“y/n,” Soonyoung cut you off abruptly, placing his hand on your shoulder.
“You’re a very nice girl,” he started. You already knew what would follow.
“And you’re truly great, like really—“ Soonyoung paused before sighing. “I’m sorry y/n. I’m kinda seeing someone…” he said quietly, and by his tone you could tell he genuinely felt bad.
Slowly, you nodded at him. “Ah,” you forced a smile. “No worries.” you chuckled, but really you wanted to throw up.
“I’m sorry…” Soonyoung told you again, almost pouting.
“No—no, it’s alright,” you nodded again, not really knowing what to do next. You felt like you still wanted to ask him one thing, just so you wouldn’t spend months pondering on the what if’s.
“Did I ever have a chance?” you asked cautiously, knowing you probably wouldn’t like the answer.
Soonyoung blinked at the question, caught off guard. He looked down for a moment, seemingly thinking about the question before ultimately shaking his head, slowly.
You nodded understandingly. “Okay… Well, thank you for being honest, Soonyoung,” you briefly smiled at him, clearing your throat before speaking again, “I’ll see you around. Have a good game, okay?” you watched him nod apologetically before turning to walk away, chewing on the inside of your cheek as you started walking.
It wasn’t how you’d imagined heartbreak to be. It wasn't like your heart was breaking into a million pieces, you just felt…empty.
Tears welled in the corners of your eyes, fingers instinctively starting to reach for your phone before stopping yourself. You sniffled as you realized you had no shoulder to cry on anymore, a pitiful sob shaking your chest as you remembered Jeonghan had left you on delivered for a week.
There was purpose in your step as you made your way straight to the fraternity, not caring about any odd looks you were getting as you cried.
You merely wiped your face once before ringing the doorbell, trying and failing to slow your excessive breathing as you waited for the door to open.
The door swung open with a creak, revealing Mingyu with a smile on his face. “y/n!—Oh, what’s wro-“
“Where is he?” you sniffled, not waiting for an answer as you walked straight past Mingyu’s tall frame to Jeonghan’s bedroom.
You decided against knocking, opening the door to find Jeonghan laying on his bed scrolling on his phone. He lifted his head at the sound of the door opening, eyes widening as you walked in with wet cheeks.
“Where have you been?” you asked rather aggressively, eyebrows tightened as you tried to keep yourself from breaking down completely. Your lips trembled, walking up to Jeonghan who pushed himself to take in your current state.
“y/nnie… what’s wrong?” he asked, quickly getting up from the bed before your fist weakly collided against his chest.
“Why are you ignoring me?” you cried, fresh tears beginning to stream down your face. “I-I needed you and you disappeared,” you sobbed when Jeonghan’s arms pulled you in, hiding your face against his chest as he stroked your back comfortingly.
“I’m sorry…” Jeonghan whispered, kissing your temple before sighing.
You closed your eyes, holding him tightly as his familiar embrace warmed your body.
Jeonghan felt your body shake against his as you cried, pressing his cheek against your hair as his hand found your locks. “I’m sorry…” he said again, his chest burning painfully at the state you were in.
“He likes someone else.” you told him after a beat of silence.
Jeonghan sighed, softly shaking his head at what you were telling him. He felt horrible now, blaming himself for everything. For giving your false hope, for building up you confidence—only to watch it all crumble down before his own eyes. This wouldn’t have happened if he hadn’t been selfish.
“Fuck, y/n—I’m so sorry…” he apologized again, tightening his grip on you.
You sniffled, shaking your head. “‘s not your fault, Jeonghan.” you whispered, only making him feel worse.
If you only knew, Jeonghan thought. He should’ve never approached you back then. He’d spend time reflecting on his actions in the last few days as he kept his distance from you, knowing that deep down it had all been for his own self-gain. Annoying you, approaching you at the party. All along this had been about you and him, even if he didn’t realize exactly how much he liked you before he even offered to help you.
“It’s fine,” you concluded, sighing as you tried to stop yourself from crying. “It’s nothing new,” you croaked out, your voice breaking as you failed to stop the sob spilling out of you.
“Shh, ducky,” Jeonghan grabbed your cheeks to meet his eyes, wiping your wet cheeks with his thumbs as he looked at you. You gulped, tears brimming your pretty eyes.
“Can I please stay?” you whispered, fishing his shirt as you looked at him pleadingly. Jeonghan nodded, pushing his forehead against yours as he closed his eyes. “Of course, baby,” he sighed before pulling away from you.
Seeing you cry like this felt like a dagger to his chest. He wished nothing more than to take away your pain.
“You look so tired, ducky,” Jeonghan said while looking at you, wiping away another stray tear with his knuckle before nodding to his bed. “Take a nap, okay? Do you need anything? I can make you tea, or some snacks—“
“Just hold me, Hannie. Please?” you grabbed his hand, afraid he’d leave you.
Jeonghan nodded, giving you a weak smile as you crawled into bed together.
You sighed as you got comfortable against his chest, his warm arms already making you feel better. You nuzzled your cheek against him, resting your arm over his waist.
You smiled when Jeonghan looked at you, smiling back at you as he stroked your hair. You couldn’t help but laugh, the corners of Jeonghan’s mouth tugging up as he watched you. “What are you laughing at, weirdo?” he softly squeezed your cheek.
“I don’t know…” you admitted, your eyes feeling heavier as your exhaustion grew.
“Go sleep, okay?” Jeonghan whispered, making you nod.
You closed your eyes, softly sniffling as you became even more tired. You’d occasionally open your eyes to see Jeonghan looking back at you, your body becoming heavier as the minutes passed.
“Hannie?” you whispered tiredly after a while, fighting to keep your eyes open as he cocked up his eyebrows.
“Don’t leave again.” you told him, closing your eyes when he gently began to stroke your cheek.
Jeonghan smiled sadly as he watched you sleep, your soft snores painfully familiar. He really didn’t deserve you.
He didn’t know if he could keep promise what you were asking him, not when he had been the cause of your sadness.
“How many times are you going to keep checking your phone?” Joshua crossed his arms over his chest as he leaned against the lockers, grinning when you glared at him.
“I thought he would come today,” you pocketed your phone before starting to walk to your next class, Joshua humming next to you.
“I don’t know, he seems off lately,” Joshua shrugged, making you frown.
“He wasn’t at our project meeting today,” you pouted, resisting the urge to check your phone again. Thankfully Jeonghan wasn’t ignoring your messages anymore after seeing him, but that didn’t mean things were back to the way they were. Joshua was right, Jeonghan did seem off.
“How was that? You know, seeing Soonyoung,” Joshua asked carefully.
You bit your lip as you thought before shrugging. “It was fine.” you said casually, making Joshua cock up a brow.
“Really? You’re not, like, upset still?” you stopped walking once you reached your classroom, cocking your head to the side as you looked at Joshua. You then shrugged again.
“Not really…” you trailed off, pouting. “I feel oddly okay,” you nodded, giving Joshua a smile. Joshua hummed, not totally convinced. “Right,” he said, thinking.
Truth is, you felt… good. As though a weight had been lifted from your shoulders. You also didn’t really understand why, maybe you were still in denial, but you felt like you could finally start to let go of Soonyoung.
Joshua’s eyes strayed behind you when he spotted a figure resembling Jeonghan from the corner of his eye, watching his friend meet his eye before walking off without greeting him. Strange.
You followed his line of vision, looking over your shoulder to see Jeonghan’s back turning around the corner.
“Oh,” you said, perking up to give Joshua a quick look. “See you later, alright?” you told him before going to follow Jeonghan.
Joshua watched you jog to catch up to Jeonghan, sighing with a smile as you disappeared from his vision.
“Jeonghan!” you called once you got close to him, smiling as he turned to you, seemingly caught off guard.
“Hey. You weren’t at our meeting today,” you said, adjusting your bag that had slipped down from the short jog.
“Oh, y/n,” he cleared his throat awkwardly, making you frown. “I didn’t feel like coming,” he explained, his odd tone only leaving you more confused.
“Oh, well, we could really use your help next time. It’s kinda messy without you there,” you chuckled, smiling at him.
Jeonghan didn’t smile back at you, avoiding eye contact as he slowly opened his mouth to speak, “Listen, y/n… I’m—I’m dropping from the project,” he looked at you for a second, mumbling a ‘sorry’ before turning to enter the men’s restroom.
His words felt like a knife to the heart. “What?” you mumbled, gulping as he disappeared again. You were starting to believe you were dumb to trust Jeonghan. Maybe this was all a game for his own entertainment after all, because why else would he just drop you like this? Right after you asked out Soonyoung? The timing of it all was odd.
Anger bubbled up inside of you, shaking your head before following him inside. “What is your deal?” you spat, your jaw clenching as you watched him splash cold water in his face.
Jeonghan looked at you through the mirror before turning with a sigh. “Nothing. I just—“
“Why are you lying to me?” you asked, trying your best not to cry in front of him. Your chest burned, making fists of your hands as you watched him blink dumbly.
“I’m not lying, y/n.” Jeonghan raised his voice, only making you angrier.
“Yes you are. Why are you being like this?” you gulped, afraid you weren’t able to hold your tears for much longer.
“I thought we were friends.” you said quietly, your voice breaking.
Jeonghan swallowed a lump in his throat.
“Was all the time we spent together just a lie?” you felt a tear run down your cheek, all your fears swirling around inside of you. You couldn’t help but feel like you’d lost the only thing that had made you feel so alive these past few weeks.
Jeonghan’s face hardened, his jaw tensing hearing your words. He took a step closer to you, grabbing your underarm.
“I like you, y/n.” he said, the words making your stomach drop.
“Can’t you see?” he added quietly.
You didn’t know what to say, the noise in your head and the way Jeonghan was looking at you overwhelming you. You took a step back, slowly shaking your head as you made sense of it all. The lights in the bathroom were too bright, the sounds of the people in the hallway too loud. You could hear your heart pounding out of your chest and you wondered if Jeonghan could hear it too—you needed to leave.
Jeonghan took a step forward again, not ready to let you go before finally laying his heart bare. “Stop having a crush on Soonyoung.” he whispered pleadingly, softly grabbing your hand in his. Your breath hitched.
“And come back to me.” his frustration softened into a plea, big eyes plagued with vulnerability as he waited for your reaction.
You can’t do this.
You pulled your hand away, not saying a word as you rushed out of the bathroom, leaving Jeonghan by himself.
Tears clouded your vision, your head spinning and mind running as you rushed home. You couldn’t help but wonder if this had been the whole reason Jeonghan had offered to help you with Soonyoung. A part of you told yourself Jeonghan wasn’t that kind of person, yet you couldn’t confidently say you wouldn't have done the same.
What did he even see in you? For how long had he liked you? And was he ever even helping you?
You hid under the covers in your bed, the warmth of the blanket comforting you a bit as you cried soundlessly. Why didn’t you feel angry?
Maybe it had something to do with you not being upset after getting rejected by Soonyoung.
Did you even really want Soonyoung? Or maybe you just liked the idea of being wanted by someone.
You exhaled a shaky breath, hugging your pillow to your chest. You were so confused by everything. You knew you should feel some kind of way about this—whether it be anger or resentment—but the only thing you really wanted was to be hanging out with Jeonghan again. You imagined how things were before they all went wrong—talking, laughing for hours. Falling asleep next to him.
His absence had hollowed you out these past few days. Soonyoung had never made you feel special. But Jeonghan… Jeonghan saw you. Everything you’d been longing for had been so easy for him to give.
Maybe if you hadn’t been so wrapped up in the idea of liking Soonyoung, you would’ve seen what was in front of you all along. Maybe if this whole thing hadn’t started as a lie, your feelings would’ve been easier to untangle. But the one thing you couldn’t ignore was that you couldn’t lose Jeonghan.
The sky had darkened once you finally forced yourself out of your bed, dried tears decorating your cheeks as you rumbled through your bag to snatch your laptop. Maybe some trashy reality tv would help distract you.
As you lifted the laptop, a familiar object tumbled on the floor, rolling until it stilled in front of you.
You lip twitched seeing your duck pen, your stomach twisting painfully. You bend down to pick it up, looking at it for a moment before taking in a sharp breath, lifting your arm to launch it straight against the wall with a pitiful whine.
“Woah! What the hell?” Jaehee stood in the opened doorway with a puzzled look on her face, taking a second to evaluate the current state she’d found you in before slowly closing the door behind her.
“What’s going on in here? Are you okay?” she pouted before engulfing you in a tight hug. You shook your head, sighing and resting your face against her shoulder.
“Talk to me.” she whispered, rubbing your back.
“You’ll think I’m crazy,” you sighed.
“I just paid a witch to curse Mingyu. I can handle crazy,” Jae let go of you to sit down on the bed with you, grinning at the cackle leaving your mouth.
“Fuck—okay,” you rubbed your face. “Long story short: Jeonghan and I were never a thing. It was all a ploy to get Soonyoung. I asked him out a couple of days ago but he rejected me—“ Knowing how long you’d liked Soonyoung for, Jaehee already started pouting. “—But I’m fine—Oh, and Jeonghan just told me he likes me and then I ran away.” you finish with a sigh, making Jae’s eyes widen in surprise at the sudden twist.
“That’s a lot to unpack,” she started, looking at you. “I don’t suppose you’re throwing stuff because you don’t like him back and feel incredibly sorry for it?” she asked almost sarcastically, crossing her arms over her chest.
You sighed and shook your head.
“So you do like him? Then what’s the problem?”
You blinked at her. “I… I don’t know,” you frowned, looking down at your lap. “It’s not that simple.”
Jae raised a brow. “What’s not simple? You like him, he likes you. Where’s the disaster in that?”
“You make it sound so easy,” you muttered.
She let out a breath, then softened, reaching for your hand. “y/n, you really need to stop thinking so much.” A small smile tugged at her lips.
You sighed. “It’s just—I don’t think I allowed myself to feel what I felt when I was with Jeonghan. I pushed it away, convinced myself all of those feelings were fake since they were supposed to be. What if I give it a shot and find out I was right?”
“You’re too stuck in your own head. I’ve seen the two of you. You can’t fake the way you look at each other—unless you’re both Oscar-worthy actors, which I seriously doubt,” she chuckled.
You bit your lip, slowly nodding.
“Well, text him.” Jaehee bumped her shoulder against yours, your chest tightening at the thought of Jeonghan. Your face grew hot.
“Text him to come over,” she encouraged you, the corners of her mouth lifting up. You shifted on the bed, pouting as you thought it over.
Jae sighed at your apprehension and pulled out her phone, her nails tapping against the screen as she typed.
“What are you doing?” you asked meekly, watching your friend turn off her phone with a satisfied expression on her face. “He’ll be here soon.” she only told you, her hands resting in her lap demurely.
You blinked in surprise. “Huh?” you frowned. “Wha-What did you just send him?” you tried to reach for her phone, but Jaehee hastily got up from your bed moving her finger at you disapprovingly. “Nah-ah,” she sang, barely making an effort to hide the smirk on her face.
“Jae.” you warned her, pushing yourself up slowly.
“It’s nothing bad, promise! I just let him know that I can’t find you anywhere and your location is turned off,” she shrugged, making you gasp.
“That’s not nothing!” you raised your voice, crossing your arms over your chest with a sigh.
Jaehee exhaled a breath, giving you a smile as she hugged you again. “Don’t panic. Don’t you deserve to figure out what you’re really feeling?” she whispered, patting your head. You knew she was right. You nodded.
“Remember how it felt being his friend and just go from there,” she created some space between your bodies to look at you, smiling when you whispered a soft ‘okay.’
The two of you gave each other a look at the sound of a notification, reading Jeonghan’s ‘omw now’ message together.
“He won’t take long,” Jae told you, making you inhale a sharp breath. “I’ll meet him at the door, okay? Just—Just wait here, y/n.” she said, looking at you for a second before starting to leave your bedroom.
The room fell quiet after that, your nerves buzzing louder than anything else. You couldn’t sit still, shifting on the bed as your mind raced. Every second felt like forever—until a knock sounded at the door.
“y/n?!” Jeonghan rushed inside with a panicked look on his face, eyebrows drawn with a pair of big eyes meeting yours. “Are you okay?” he sighed, visibly relaxing at the sight of you unharmed.
You gulped, looking at him for a moment before abruptly getting up. You hastily grabbed the duck pencil from the floor and shoved it into his hand.
“I don’t want this back.” you said firmly, your jaw clenching as you looked at him with manic eyes.
He froze, staring at the object in his palm with confusion before lifting his gaze to you. Your anger faltered when you met his eyes, his pretty face making your own features soften despite yourself.
You gave him a small, sad smile.
“Hannie…” you whispered, tears burning in the corners of your eyes.
Your lip shook, pushing your face against his chest before you could stop yourself.
“I told you to never leave me again…” you mumbled, smiling at his familiar, comforting scent despite your tears. You put your arms around his body, embracing him tightly. “Please don’t…” you looked up at him, vulnerability creeping in at what you were saying.
Jeonghan only looked at you, his pink lips slightly ajar before meeting together in a subtle pout.
You realized it then, how oblivious you had been this entire time. How you needed Jeonghan as much as you needed air. How much you couldn’t live without him—and, finally, how much you loved him.
“y/n…” Jeonghan whispered, really hoping he wasn’t wrong about what you were getting at.
Your lips curled up in a smile, softly cupping his cheeks before pulling him down to meet your lips with his. Jeonghan gasped against your mouth, wrapping his arms around your waist to pull you as close as he could have you.
You bit your lip shyly when you finally pulled away, seeing Jeonghan smile back at you in a way that made your chest tighten.
“I like you too, Hannie,” you said softly, reaching for his hand to link your fingers together. Jeonghan’s eyes shrunk as he smiled at you, keeping his free arm wrapped around you to keep you pressed close against him.
“You like me, ducky?” he asked dumbfounded, squeezing your hand in his.
You shyly looked away, your smile growing wider as you nodded. “Yes…yes I do…” you told him, your face burning when you looked at him again.
“I didn’t even want to think about Soonyoung, because—because you were there. I didn’t want our time to end, Jeonghan.” you whispered, frowning. “The thought of losing you… I couldn’t do it. I just need you.” you confessed, gulping nervously.
Jeonghan giggled hearing your words, leaning in to kiss you hard. “Fuck, I’m such an idiot. I should’ve just asked you out from the start.” he breathed, pecking your lips again.
He pulled away to look at you, a hint of vulnerability creeping in his big eyes. “You really like me?” he asked again, his lips curling up in a shy smile as he looked at you expectantly.
You gently stroked his cheeks, your body tingling as you nodded. Looking at him, you couldn’t believe this was actually happening.
“Yes, Hannie.” You sighed, your heart beating out of your chest.
Jeonghan hugged you tightly, and somehow you were starting to feel emotional—the feeling reminded you of the first time he had held you in his bedroom. It felt as if you were coming home to a warm home after a long rainy day. It felt like drinking your favorite brand of coffee after a vacation, or having a dream you didn’t want to wake up from.
You closed your eyes and listened to his heartbeat, slowly calming down from all of the adrenaline.
You suddenly remembered what Joshua had told you, breaking the silence with a sudden silent laugh.
“Hm?” Jeonghan stroked your hair, smiling as he imagined what you could be thinking of.
“Did you try to annoy me on purpose? I mean—In class?” you pulled back to look at Jeonghan’s face, watching him blink at you in confusion before slowly grinning mischievously.
“Of course. Loved to see how many angry looks I could get from you,” he smiled, making you tsk. “I think I already kinda liked you back then, even if I didn’t realize,” he admitted with a chuckle. “You were always so polite. Even if you were shy you would smile at everyone,” his smile widened as he imagined it in his head.
“You really got on my nerves.” you hit his arm, making him only smile wider.
“Yeah?” he teased you, wrapping his arms around your shoulders before giving you a kiss.
“So you don’t want me to stay?” he asked, cocking his head to the side with a playful smile.
You tried to hide how giddy you felt, your cheeks burning at his question.
“Well, ducky?” he prodded, half teasing, half hoping you’d give him the green light.
You got close enough to kiss him again, feeling Jeonghan sigh against your lips as you slowly pushed him back on the bed with you.
The kiss deepened until all you could taste was him, warm and steady, the kind of sweetness that was becoming harder to imagine ever living without. Hands groped and lingered, yanking down fabric until the heat radiating off your bodies mixed together.
Jeonghan rolled on top of you, taking his time kissing you from your lips down to your belly button as his eyes admired the sight of you. You bit your lip feeling his tongue lick a slow stripe on your upper thigh before inching down to your pussy, softly gasping when his warm tongue found your clit.
Despite you not talking, you could feel that warm energy filling up the room, consuming you whole as Jeonghan savored you. You knew he felt it too, gentle fingertips brushing against your sides, hazed eyes watching you gasp and moan attentively.
Your body writhed feeling him go faster, biting your lip as your tummy burned. Before you would find yourself lost in the deep end, your shaky hand reached for Jeonghan’s to stop him.
If you were gonna cum, you wanted to do so with him. You needed him as close as you could have him, cupping his cheeks to bring him on top of you.
“Yeah?” Jeonghan whispered against your mouth in the middle of a kiss, making you nod. “Yeah.” you answered, pecking his lips as you looked in his eyes.
Jeonghan glided his tip over your entrance, collecting your wetness before slowly inching in, stretching you deliciously before bottoming out.
“God,” Jeonghan breathed, pushing his lips against yours with an almost desperate plea while slowly starting to grind against you.
You moaned fruitlessly when he set a faster pace, making Jeonghan echo your sounds at the way you were squeezing his cock. “C’mere,” he sighed, moving your legs over his thighs to feel you even deeper. Jeonghan linked your fingers together, pinning them down on the mattress as he licked into you.
“Hannie,” you squeezed his hands, feeling the muscles in your body tighten. You think you could already cum like this, closer to him than you’ve ever been.
Jeonghan nodded, sucking on your bottom lip hard enough to form a bruise. All you could hear were your breaths and whimpers, and all you could feel was the closeness you shared.
“Cum, baby. Cum for me?” he asked breathlessly, going faster again. You let out a loud moan, nodding in agreement as the sound of skin slapping echoed through the room.
“Fuck.” you whimpered, squirming against him as pleasure overtook you. You moaned again as you came around his cock, feeling Jeonghan’s warmth erupt inside of you as your walls clenched around him fruitlessly.
Your head spun, Jeonghan’s whimpers falling on deaf ears before grounding you with a soft kiss.
“I love you.” Jeonghan whispered out of breath, blinking as he looked at you with big eyes.
A shy smile spread over your face, your chest tightening at the words coming out of his mouth.
“I love you.” you whispered back, feeling as if this moment weren’t real.
Jeonghan’s lips curved up into the smallest, almost disbelieving smile before he hid his face in the crook of your neck. He gently let go of your hands to embrace you instead, peppering kisses on your shoulder.
“You’re mine now—for real this time.” Jeonghan said, lifting his head to look at you again. A smirk tugged at his features, humming at the smiley, almost shy nod you gave him.
“My girlfriend,” he giggled sweetly, giving your cheek a kiss.
“My ducky.” he whispered, nuzzling his forehead against yours.
“Hannie…” you laughed, but you couldn’t contain the smile playing on your lips.
Somewhere through the quiet whispers and hours of laughter you realized you didn’t feel alone anymore. You didn’t feel unlovable—you felt wanted, like every stolen kiss and every teasing joke was stitching something whole inside of you, something you had once believed could never belong to you.
You knew whatever you and Jeonghan were doing wasn’t real—not really. But a part of you had started to wonder. You could feel that same warmth you’d come to resent starting to bloom, and it scared you.
pairing jeonghan x f!reader word count 24.2k tags non-idol au, college au, fake dating, enemies? to friends to lovers, humor, angst, jealousy, conflict, jeonghan being a menace, pet names, dom!jeonghan, sub!reader, teasing, a lot of making out, dry humping, fingering, big!dick jeonghan, unprotected sex, riding, missionary, hickeys, creampies, cock warming, multiple smut scenes, grinding, spanking, mention of dacryphilia, love making warnings smut, cursing, alcohol, mentions of smoking
thank you @sanaxo-o @nerdycheol for beta reading ♡
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You were always intimidated by Yoon Jeonghan. From the moment you first saw him in class you could tell he thought everyone was below him. The way he paraded around campus with that shit-eating grin on his face, perfect pink lips always knowing just what to say. His brown eyes seemed to always seek you out for some reason, as if he purposely wanted to get on your nerves.
So, right there and then, before even having spoken a single word to him, you decided to avoid him at all costs.
You didn’t pay him any mind for the rest of the year, blocking him out whenever you happened to catch sight of him, or whenever you heard his stupid voice in any of the shared classes you were in.
It isn’t until the second year or college that you’re forced to interact with him for the first time, being grouped together for an assignment.
Now if that wasn’t bad, you curse your luck once you realize one of the other guys in your group happened to be your lifelong crush out of all people, the loud Kwon Soonyoung.
You didn’t even know he’d been taking the same class as you, as for you hadn’t even seen him once since the start of the semester.
The worst part of it all is finding out he and Jeonghan seemed to be the best of friends, laughing amongst themselves as they entered the study hall. The last guy, Lee Seokmin, jogged behind them to catch up to them, a wide smile on his face whilst hitting Soonyoung’s shoulder.
Just great. He was a part of their little clique as well.
You'd walked into the study hall almost confidently, thinking you were adult enough to deal with Yoon Jeonghan. But Soonyoung? Your stomach churned with anxiety.
Soonyoung's eyes lit up as soon as he saw you, catching you off guard with a sudden, friendly hug.
"You know y/n?" Seokmin cocked up his eyebrows, watching his older friend nearly crush a seemingly random girl from class.
"Of course! We went to elementary and middle school together." he smiled, finally letting go of you. You hoped they couldn’t tell just how flustered the embrace had made you, your eyes blinking as you tried to regain composure.
“What a crazy coincidence! I didn’t know we’re going to the same college,” Soonyoung chuckled, shrugging off his backpack before mindlessly taking a seat next to you.
You almost pouted at his words. Whilst you were very aware of his presence, Soonyoung didn’t seem to have been aware of yours.
“Yeah, crazy.” you laughed it off, trying not to sound too awkward. “I didn’t know you were in this class…” you trailed off, blindly opening your laptop.
Seokmin exhaled an amused breath. “Because he skips all his classes.” he said, taking a seat next to Soonyoung.
“Hey, not all… I just hate Business Management.” the boy sighed, pouting as he rummaged through his worn down backpack.
You fought a smile hearing them banter, shyly looking down at your laptop screen.
"Alright, if the little reunion is over let's just start and get this over with, hm?" Jeonghan grumbled, forced to sit on the other side of you.
You tried not to roll your eyes, the two others simply humming in agreement.
It took a near hour to decide on a solid plan, taking note of all the important topics and details. The dynamic between the group of friends had you surprisingly amused to say the least, catching yourself chuckling along to the little jabs the friends aimed at each other.
"Okay, so, Seokmin," Jeonghan pointed his pen at him. "You will pick a company to help us with formulating three products." his pen moved to Soonyoung. "You'll design the logo of our website and the color scheme."
The ball point pen moved to you now. "y/n, you'll design our website. Just pick some template on one of those website builders. Make it look pretty, but please, no pink." he sighed.
Your lips pressed together, feeling slightly agitated at his words. Make it look pretty, you're sure he was aware of how condescending he sounded, not even acknowledging the fact your major was software development.
"What will you do, hyung?" Soonyoung asked, and you were more than curious to know this too.
Jeonghan clicked his pen, looking over at his friend.
"I'll set up the meetings, oversee all your work and help where help is needed." he said, slumping in his chair. You resisted the urge to roll your eyes.
The two others seemed content with his answer. You didn’t argue with that, not having the energy over some stupid class you didn’t even care for.
"Alright then." Seokmin clapped his hands together loudly, earning the attention of a few other students in the study hall. "Since Jeonghan hyung seems in such a rush to leave, let's meet up again next week?" he asked. You nodded, grabbing your backpack to put away your stuff.
"I'll make a group chat." Seokmin added, looking over to you briefly. You hummed, giving him a small smile of acknowledgement.
Jeonghan left first, and you walked out the study hall with the two other boys by your side.
"Oh my god, I'm so happy to see you!" Soonyoung nudged your shoulder lightly, gripping the straps of his backpack while he walked with you. You chuckled shyly. "Yeah, me too."
You chose not to tell him how you’ve seen him around campus countless times, feeling like a bit of a loser at the way you’d been keeping your eye on him like a young girl with a schoolgirl crush—and in a way you were just that.
"We should hang out! Do you live on campus?" he asked. You made eye contact with him, smiling at his question. "I’m over at the sorority. Are you guys in the fraternity together?"
The boys nodded. "We all are." Seokmin told you.
"You should come to the party tomorrow, it'll be fun!" Soonyoung said.
You'd sworn off drinking a while ago, not wanting it to get in the way of your studies, yet the offer sounded convincing enough, and the thought of getting closer to Soonyoung made your chest thump.
"Ahh, come on! Don't tell me you've never been to one of our parties before." Soonyoung grinned when you paused, fully turning his body to you.
A laugh escaped your mouth. "Well, I haven't. But... since you asked," you flashed him a smile, their sounds of approval hitting your ears.
"Perfect! We'll see you there, y/n." Seokmin smiled.
Your friend sneaked an arm around your waist, pulling you into her body while the two of you walked to the fraternity a few blocks over.
"I can't believe you're finally coming with me!" Your best friend Jaehee declared loudly. She squeezed your hip. "You have to see Mingyu tonight, he's so fucking fine. We’ve been texting for days now!"
You rolled your eyes playfully, not too keen on meeting one of her flings again.
When the two of you entered the fraternity, the notorious ΙΖ', you were immediately greeted by the luring smell of alcohol and weed. The large body of people were scattered all around the extensive common room, most grouped together chatting with their respective friends in the open space between the kitchen and living room.
Your face scrunched a bit trying to adjust to the loud music, your friend immediately dragging you to a corner where a group was hanging out.
"Jae!" the loud voices greeted your friend excitedly, the tallest of them instinctively putting an arm around her.
She welcomed them with a smile, moving to pull you right next to her. "Guys, this is y/n!” she grinned. “y/n, this is Mingyu," she looked at the handsome boy next to her before pointing to the others. "Joshua, Eunwoo and Jeonghan." You made eye contact with Jeonghan, his big eyes already staring back at you.
"Hi y/n, it’s nice to meet you. Did you finally decide to join us?" Joshua smiled, giving your shoulder a small squeeze. You met his gaze, his sweet eyes resembling those of crescent moons as he smiled at you.
You didn’t know whether to feel thankful your friend had seemingly been so openly talking about you, but you were happy you were being welcomed so warmly. You returned his smile, nodding before speaking, "Yeah... It looks like you got quite the party here." you chuckled.
"I told you it'd be fun!" Jaehee lighty shoved you, a loud voice suddenly interrupting your conversation.
"Hey! You made it!" Soonyoung squeezed between you and Joshua, a smile on his sweet face while he settled his gaze on you. Your body instantly became warm, and you swallowed a lump in your throat not knowing what to say. You could tell by the flush on his cheeks he was a few drinks ahead of you.
"Let's take a shot!" he exclaimed happily, handing you a full shot glass you hadn’t seen him hold before. His gaze turned a bit more serious as if he realized something, hectic eyes frantically looking around as his lips pressed together in a tight line.
His eyes lit up as soon as a certain person walked by, and he snatched a full glass of booze from their hands with an innocent giggle. "Thanks Jihoonie!" he laughed, earning him a blank stare from the guy, who carried on walking, uninterested.
You laughed as he clinked his glass against yours, downing the entire cocktail down quickly. You watched him for a second before deciding to take the shot, the bitter taste making you cringe.
The group in front of you didn’t seem too concerned by what was happening, already wrapped back up in whatever conversation they had before you and Jae joined them.
"You want another? Or maybe a mixed drink? I’m good at those," Soonyoung put his hand on your shoulder, looking at the kitchen for a moment before settling his hazy eyes back on you.
“If you don’t make it too strong,” you smiled timidly, the words leaving your lips before you could even think them over. Soonyoung gave you a sharp nod, disappearing into the crowd.
Your eyes briefly met Jeonghan again before clumsily looking over at your friend, who seemed too busy to talk to you.
“You know Soonyoung?” Joshua closed the space between the two of you again, face angled down close to yours.
You nodded. “We went to the same school when we were kids,” you told him, playing with the empty shot glass in your hands. He chuckled. “Wow, what a coincidence.” He took a drag of his vape, the fruity cloud of smoke dancing above you. You nodded. “Yeah, we were grouped together for a Business Management project.”
“Business Management? Doesn’t Jeonghan also take that class?” he looked over to his friend, who looked up at the mention of his name. You nodded, telling him Jeonghan and Seokmin were all in your group as well.
“Good luck with that.” Joshua grinned knowingly. “I wouldn’t be able to focus much with those three bickering all the time.” he snickered, looking at his friend who just rolled his eyes.
You smiled. “So far so good.” You hoped to at least get a smile from the boy in front of you, deciding the grudge you held against him might have been a little unfair to him. But Jeonghan dismissed your kindness by ignoring you completely, instead saying something to Eunwoo beside him.
You resisted the urge to show your newfound irritation, shifting your attention back to Joshua.
From the corner of your eye you saw Eunwoo nod, and the two of them left quietly, leaving you four in the corner.
Joshua really knew how to make you feel comfortable, striking up a conversation with you about your majors and some of your interests, the exchange soon shifting into your shared hobby of baking.
When Mingyu and Jae disappeared after a heated make out session you and Joshua briefly cringed at, the two of you were the only ones left. Joshua soon dragged you to the backyard to smoke, joking alcohol made him crave cigarettes.
You were seated on one of the couches outside, a full glass of alcohol in your hand that one of the hosts, Joshua’s friend, had poured you—reminding you of the drink Soonyoung had promised you before, most likely, drunkenly having forgotten about it.
Just shortly after the realization you coincidentally spotted him, and your stomach turned when you saw what exactly was going on. Soonyoung was making out with some girl on the other side of the garden, tongue and all, making you see green with jealousy.
Your innocent crush might’ve not been completely innocent—not when the sight in your peripheral vision impacted you this much.
Your glass was empty now, and you set it on the table in front of you to push yourself up. This caught the attention of Joshua, who’d been busily chatting with the random people you’d grouped up with outside for the last half hour.
“Are you leaving?” Joshua put his hand around your wrist, looking up at you with a frown on his face.
“I don’t feel so good, I need some water,” you told him, making him loosen his grip on you. You had this weird urge to isolate yourself—to flee. “Are you okay? I can get it for you.” His eyes softened upon hearing your words.
You shook your head. “It’s okay, thanks Joshua. I’ll be right back.” you shot him an assuring smile before quickly walking back inside, right past the kitchen to the corridor.
Fuck. Why did you feel so jealous over Soonyoung? It’s not like you were ever close to him.
Maybe you’d been an idiot hoping to catch Soonyoung’s attention, not when he barely paid any attention to you in the first place. He never noticed you in school. The secret glances, soft laughter you tried to hold in whenever he and his friends joked around in class. He didn’t even know you were attending the same college, for god's sake.
Now you felt even worse. You decided to walk straight outside through the front door—away.
“Leaving already?”
You jumped at the sudden voice, eyes locking with Jeonghan who you saw leaning against the white brick house. He eyed you with his arms crossed over his chest.
“Fuck, you scared me.” you instinctively pressed your hand against your thumping chest. Jeonghan seemed to observe you carefully, eyebrows furrowed like he was deep in thought.
“Everything okay?” he suddenly asked you. The question surprised you. Jeonghan didn’t seem the type to entertain people he didn’t care about.
“Um, yeah,” you responded meekly. “Just going home.” you shrugged, fully ready to walk off.
Jeonghan hummed, pushing himself off the wall to get a bit closer to you. You stopped moving, your shoulders slumping a little while looking at him. Jeonghan checking up on you was as odd as it was out of character, but continuing to want to talk to you? By choice? You were stunned.
“Let me guess,” he smiled, clearly already very amused by whatever was about to come out of his mouth. “This has something to do with Soonyoung.” He almost grinned, and his arms remained crossed as he waited for your reaction.
The look on your face only made him smile wider, looking like he had won the lottery.
“I knew I would be right.” he mumbled under his breath, chuckling in an irritating way. “I’m good at this…” he seemed amused, waiting for you to defend yourself.
You forced yourself to laugh, shifting your weight awkwardly as the stiff sound croaked out of you. “What are you talking about?” you held your breath awaiting his next words, but some part of you knew he had you right where he wanted you.
“I mean,” the look in his eyes shifted into something you couldn’t describe. “You have a thing for Soonyoung. It’s very obvious.”
Your chest felt tight. Was is really that noticeable?
“For…for Soonyoung?” you laughed as if his take had been completely wrong. “Why would you think that?” you continued, the quirk of his lip only sputtering you on more. You hoped he couldn’t notice how flustered you were becoming.
Jeonghan laughed, the nasal sound ripping from his throat surprising you. You realized you’d never seen this side to him—almost happy.
“I can help you.”
Your eye twitched. There was a brief silence as Jeonghan anticipated your response, his mouth slightly agape as his eyebrows rose.
“Huh?”
Your confusion made him giggle, dropping his arms down next to his body to fully close the space between you. “Listen,” he started, licking his lips. “I will help you get Soonyoung.” You were suddenly feeling very self-conscious having him so close to you.
“I’m not surprised he hasn’t noticed, since he’s oblivious as it is,” he continued. You looked away at his words, chewing on the inside of your cheek.
“He’s one of my best friends, so it won’t be that hard.” he hummed, taking you in.
You forced yourself to look back into his eyes, a silent exhale passing through your lips. This had to be some kind of setup. There had to be something behind it he wasn’t telling you.
“Who says I want your help?” you glared at him, furrowing your eyebrows.
Jeonghan seemed to like your answer, a wide smile spreading on his face.
“Suit yourself. I’ll tell him about your little crush myself.”
Your eyes widened a bit, looking at him in disbelief.
“Why do you even care that much, Jeonghan?” you crossed your arms, a part of you knowing very well he would happily inform his friend of your stupid secret.
“I’m bored.” he simply grinned, his expression one of an evil mastermind.
Despite already having agreed with Jeonghan beforehand, you felt nervous about sitting next to him in class. You liked sitting near the front, a bit meticulous about having little to no distractions while taking your notes and listening to whatever your teacher had to say.
Jeonghan always sat in the far back of the class, less caring about the lesson and more about doing whatever it was he was back there. You could always hear him snicker about something, probably because of Soonyoung or Seokmin, treating the hour-long lesson like their own personal bar despite already living together and practically being together most of their time.
Today you sat in the back, jumping in your seat when Jeonghan loudly dropped his bag on the table next to you. You snapped out of your daze, looking up to see the boy already smirking at you.
“You didn’t chicken out,” he observed aloud, as if he thought you would actually back out of his genius plan to catch Soonyoung’s attention. As if the threat of not listening to him didn’t come with consequences.
“I’m a little surprised to be honest.” he chuckled, sitting down next to you.
You sighed, following him with your eyes. “Why?” you decided to take the bait. Jeonghan only smiled. “Nevermind. It’ll be more fun this way.” he hummed, carelessly throwing his phone down on the table. “I already have some things in mind, you’ll see,”
You didn’t even want to imagine what he was implying, rolling your eyes before pulling out your notebook and pen.
“Aigoo.” Jeonghan laughed seeing your pastel pink pen, the top decorated with a cute little duck. Your cheeks burned.
Before you could protest he snatched it from your hand, giggling as he observed it up close.
“How cute. Did you name him?” he grinned, loving how embarrassed you looked. “No.” you hissed, trying to get it back from him. Jeonghan tsked with a smile, avoiding your hand before excitedly scooting closer to you.
He held the pen right front of you, wiggling it in front of your face as he started speaking with a high pitched voice. “Please save me from Hannie! I feel so sad without you, y/n.” he laughed at himself, spinning the duck’s head towards him.
He cleared his throat, giving the object a serious look. “I’ll keep you with me today, but I promise I will give you back to y/n later. Now, tell her goodbye.”
“Seriously?” you grumbled, watching him put the duck back in front of your face.
“Bye y/nnie! See you later!” he said in the same, annoying voice, making a loud kissing sound as he briefly pressed the duck’s beak against your lips.
“Jeonghan!” you complained, pushing his arm away as he laughed. Right as you did so, Soonyoung and Seokmin walked in, the latter visibly surprised you were sitting next to Jeonghan.
“Oh, y/n!” Soonyoung smiled, plopping down in the seat in front of Jeonghan. You smiled at him, suddenly feeling very conscious of Jeonghan’s little plan—which he failed to explain the exact logistics of.
“Hi guys.” Seokmin greeted. He sat down in front of you, his back turned to you as he rumbled through his backpack.
“Hyung, didn’t you say you disliked y/n?” Soonyoung asked, leaning over the backrest of the chair as he looked at his friend obliviously. By his tone you could tell he didn’t mean it in a bad way, he was genuinely interested. Soonyoung always had a way of blurting out whatever he had on his mind.
Jeonghan cocked up his eyebrows, giving you a quick look that was met with a subtle glare. “What? Of course not.” he coolly dismissed his friend’s words.
Soonyoung had a subtle pout in his face, looking around as if he was thinking for a moment. “But you said she’s-“
“I don’t dislike y/n.” Jeonghan roughly cut him off, giving him a stern look. Soonyoung giggled, giving you a warm smile that had you malfunctioning for a moment “I think it’s good you’re becoming friends!” he said, then quickly turned around when the teacher announced herself.
“I’m not too fond of you either, you know.” you grumbled lowly to Jeonghan, making him chuckle. “Aw, did I hurt your feelings? I’m sorry. Promise we’ll have a great time together from now.”
You rolled your eyes again. “Whatever.” you sighed in defeat, forcing yourself to pay attention to the class.
The lesson carried on like normal, but your mind kept wandering. You were a little worried about whatever Jeonghan had in store for you, fearing the worst. How would he even be able to help you with Soonyoung? Was this all some ploy to embarrass you in front of his friends?
Deep in thought, you failed to notice Jeonghan leaning into you, flinching when he suddenly put his hand on your knee. “Thinking of me?” he whispered. His breath hit your ear, making the hairs on your arms stand up.
“What are you doing?” you asked quietly, keeping your eyes on the teacher and hoping she wouldn’t notice what was happening.
“Don’t you trust me?” Jeonghan’s voice carried a hint of amusement, and you could practically hear him smile as he spoke. “No.” you admitted quickly. Jeonghan chuckled. “Relax, this is all part of it.” he gently squeezed your knee, making you pout a little. The action had you meet his eye, yet you barely turned to him, not wanting it to seem like you were talking to him in the middle of class.
“Come closer. You have to at least put in an effort if you want Soonyoung to think we’re dating.” Jeonghan whispered, pulling you closer towards him by your knee.
Your eyes widened, looking at him in bewilderment as you felt his side pressing into yours. “D-dating?” you almost gasped. “Yeah?” Jeonghan said as if you were stupid. “How else do you want to catch his attention?” he said, like it was obvious this is what you were going to do from the start.
“Like, suddenly? It’ll be weird.” you mumbled, ignoring the heat radiating off his body. Jeonghan shrugged. “We don’t actually tell anyone we’re ‘dating’. They just need to speculate that there’s something going on between us—and it's Soonyoung. He’ll believe anything.” His hand moved from your knee to hang over the backrest of your seat, trying to appear somewhat close to you.
“Watch.” he looked at the front of the class for a moment before leaning back in to reach your ear. “Look at our teacher. Don’t you think it’s funny how she always wears those ugly shoes with that gap between her big toes?” you caught sight of what he was talking about, wheezing at his description. “The loafers? They’re kinda popular right now…”
Jeonghan smiled. “They look like hooves. Hideous.” that made you laugh, catching Soonyoung briefly looking back at the two of you. “I want to burn those ugly horse shoes so bad.” he continued, very aware of his friend now paying attention to you.
“Guys,” Soonyoung whispered to the two of you, a little smile on his face. “Ignore him.” Jeonghan whispered.
“Popular or not, I need them gone.” he continued as if he didn’t hear Soonyoung.
“Hey, guys,” Soonyoung said a bit louder, leaning over.
“Hmm?” Jeonghan cocked up his eyebrows, turning his head to the boy.
“What’re you laughing at?” he asked, hoping to join in on the fun. You allowed yourself to look at Soonyoung now too, waiting for Jeonghan to speak.
“Huh? Oh, nothing…” Jeonghan giggled, putting his hand on your shoulder. Soonyoung pouted a little, softly nodding before looking back in front of him again, figuring whatever you were whispering about wasn’t anything of importance.
“See?” Jeonghan lowly said, a smirk tugging on his mouth. You didn’t reply, watching him play with your pen in his free hand.
You couldn’t focus for the duration of the class, looking down at your blank notebook realizing you hadn’t been taking any notes, despite Jeonghan putting his pencil on your desk. His fingers played with the fabric of your shirt, not paying you any mind as he listened to the teacher.
After the hour-long lesson Jeonghan waited for you to gather your stuff, Soonyoung and Seokmin already exiting the classroom as per Jeonghan’s request to not wait up for him.
It felt oddly good getting all this attention suddenly, despite it coming from someone you had disliked for a year. Jeonghan really wasn’t as bad as you’d made him out to be, and a part of you liked being included in his circle and getting closer to him. It also made you nervous, never fully knowing what to expect from him.
“That was… interesting.” you told Jeonghan, looking up at him. He stood next to you with his arms crossed over his chest. You zipped up your bag, starting to walk out of the classroom with him. “Of course, told you it would work.” Jeonghan simply said, slowly walking through the hallway. “It would’ve even been better if you weren’t so awkward.” he sighed, looking at you. Your neck burned a bit, avoiding his eyes. You hadn’t realized you were being awkward.
“Meet me at the frat after you finish all of your classes.”
“What?” you frowned at his words.
Jeonghan had a blank look on his face. “Am I speaking french? You have to get used to us being together.” he said almost boredly, halting in front of your next class. You blinked at him before slowly nodding. It wouldn’t hurt to make it seem more believable. “Alright.” you said quietly.
The corners of his mouth rose, winking at you before starting to walk off.
“See you later!” he called over his shoulder, leaving you to ponder on what he’d planned.
A strange feeling settled in your stomach as you waited for Jeonghan in front of the big house, looking around the street observantly.
The street wasn’t too busy, but there was a different atmosphere over at the frat row. The possibility of seeing all these boys—probably all friends with each other—was enough to make you nervous. You didn’t trust them, and you weren’t convinced any of them would see you as their equal—not for any societal reasons per se, but because you barely made any noise in the typical tight-knit college community on campus.
It had been different being together with your friend last weekend, a fickle but comforting energy knowing you weren’t alone, even if it had only been for a little while before she disappeared with Mingyu. You’d had time to settle.
Safe to say you felt out of place this time around.
The sudden sound of the door opening then drew your attention.
“There’s my little ducky.” Jeonghan grinned, motioning for you to come in. He laughed at the look you were giving him, slamming the door shut before leading the way.
Your worries seemed to melt away already, but you still felt somewhat nervous at the possibility of having to meet new people.
“You still didn’t give me back my pen,” you told him as you blindly followed. He smiled as he walked past the kitchen to the hallway, looking back at you for a moment. “I’m keeping it,” he said casually.
You sighed in defeat, more focused on your surroundings than to give him a proper reply. The house was mostly quiet, and thankfully you didn’t see anyone apart from hearing muffled voices from whatever room you were passing by.
“Could you walk any slower?” Jeonghan cocked up his eyebrows waiting for you to enter the opened door of his bedroom. You rolled your eyes at him.
Once inside you started to become aware of where he’d taken you, looking around his room while chewing on your bottom lip.
It looked like any other ordinary bedroom, spare for the few knick-knacks and the collection of shoes in the corner. There were tubs of skin care and school books on his desk, and some discarded clothes draped over his chair.
“So… is Soonyoung home?” you asked carefully, not really sure why you were in his bedroom with him.
“No,” Jeonghan said as he took a seat on his bed, simply watching you.
You looked at him, gulping. “Oh…” you said softly, progressively getting more flustered as he held eye contact with you.
Jeonghan chuckled, motioning for you to come closer. “Come here,” he extended his arm, patiently waiting for you to grab his hand. “This is just practice. You have to get used to us touching, ducky.” he smiled cheekily, watching you hesitantly close the space.
He had a point. You told yourself it wasn’t a big deal, but you still felt overwhelmingly nervous as you grabbed his hand. Vulnerable. As you felt his skin, you noticed how long his eyelashes were, the sharp inner corners of his big eyes complimenting his pretty brown irises. His hand felt warm, but you felt weird. It was strangely intimate for some reason, and you wondered if he thought the same.
“Don’t be so tense, y/n. Just act like you normally would.” he chuckled, pulling you closer than you already were, now standing between his parted thighs. You didn’t have anything to say to that, trying not to show how nervous you suddenly felt.
“Why are you looking like that?” Jeonghan cocked his head to the side, reading you for a moment. “Don’t tell me you’ve never had a boyfriend before,” he grinned, already convinced this had been the reason for your silence.
He laughed when the ghost of a pout appeared on your lips, almost making you want to pull your hand away if it weren’t for him already tightening his grip on you.
“Cute. That’s why you’re so shy, hm?” he smiled with a wicked glint in his eyes. “Don’t mock me.” you mumbled, rolling your eyes before looking away. Jeonghan laughed again, shaking his head. “I’m not.” he lied, smiling in amusement.
“Whatever,” you said, your eyebrows scrunched together as you looked at him again.
“Hey, don’t be mad, ducky. I told you it’s cute.” Jeonghan hummed, suddenly wrapping his free arm around your waist and pulling you onto the bed with him.
You gasped in surprise, bracing a hand on his chest as he pulled you closer, both arms wrapping around you as you lay curled on your side.
“You scared me!” You whined, hitting his chest. “Ow!” Jeonghan giggled, smoothing a hand over your hair. “Sorry.” he chuckled. “C’mere.” he softly urged your head to his chest before stroking your hair.
You sighed in defeat, ignoring the knot in your stomach. “You asked me to come over to cuddle?” you sulked, not seeing why it would be of importance.
“Yes? Things like this matter if you want us to be believable.” Jeonghan sighed, looking at you. You met his eye for a second, resisting the urge to roll your eyes again before looking out in front of you instead.
“I don’t even know why we’re doing this. I doubt it will work.” you murmured, unconsciously nuzzling your cheek against his chest. Your cheeks burned as you realized what you were doing, hoping Jeonghan wouldn’t make fun of you for it.
Jeonghan purposely tugged on the ends of your hair a bit too hard, earning him a glare whilst he just smiled. “It’s a shame you still don’t believe in my expertise.” he exhaled a long breath as if he was disappointed. “You have to be all in if you want this to succeed, ducky.” he smiled.
“Stop calling me that,” you mumbled. “And If I remember correctly, you didn’t give me much of a choice, Jeonghan.” you then grumbled, making him laugh for a moment. You could feel his chest shake.
“Still,” he said, ignoring your first words.
You sighed. “Right.” you agreed. You just hoped it would be enough to interest the boy you’d liked since childhood.
“I swear if you embarrass me…” you then added, looking at Jeonghan.
He blinked slowly, just looking at you for a second. “Of course not.” he said in more seriousness, and you realized that’s all you wanted to hear from him.
You slowly nodded. “Okay.” you almost whispered, giving him a little smile. Jeonghan smiled back at you, resting his cheek against the side of your head.
You were both silent after that, finding comfort in each other’s embrace. It felt nice, having someone to finally hold you.
But the comfort unsettled something, too. Truth is, you were a very lonely person. In your twenty-something years, you’d never had anyone pursue you romantically. Which you told yourself was fine—at first. But as the years passed, and those who took an interest in you somehow always ended up disappearing, you began to think something must be wrong with you.
Still, the loneliness didn’t mean you lacked feeling. That had been the whole problem. You loved deeply, too much, sometimes so much that your fingers shook with it. It pulsed deep within you, burning to engulf and to take and keep taking. You were ashamed of the enormity of your desire, disgusted almost. You were scared that if you’d ever get a taste, you’d feast. You’d devour until nothing remained, only yourself and the wounds of your greediness.
You thought yourself to be destructive, not to be trusted with even a sliver of it—even if a pair of warm arms around you had been all you’d ever wanted.
You’d become too much one too many times in the past, and no one wants someone who’s too much. You told yourself love probably just wasn’t meant for you. Maybe you didn’t deserve it. At least not in this lifetime.
You knew whatever you and Jeonghan were doing wasn’t real—not really. But a part of you had started to wonder. You could feel that same warmth you’d come to resent starting to bloom, and it scared you. You didn’t want to mess up again. Didn’t want to scare away the one person you were starting to let in.
You blinked away tears, not because of your pain, but because Jeonghan’s embrace was bringing you so much comfort.
“This feels nice.” you whispered, feeling a bit stupid for suddenly saying something so vulnerable.
Maybe you really were greedy—doing all this to try to get Soonyoung, when you were convinced he would never want you anyway. Or if he did, he’d end up leaving just like everyone did.
Jeonghan hummed, oblivious to how emotional you suddenly felt. He kept stroking your hair. “Do you want to take a nap, ducky? I’m getting a bit tired,” he admitted, chuckling. You nodded against his chest, happy at the opportunity to have him like this a bit longer.
Jeonghan pulled you even closer, sighing against your hair after closing his eyes. You carefully put your arm around him.
You tried not to overthink it anymore, closing your eyes to try to sleep.
Not long after, Jeonghan’s breathing started slowing, and the hand that kept stroking your head now rested somewhere in your mess of hair. The rise and fall of his chest gradually helped lull you into sleep with him.
Soft humming filled your ears, waking you up with a frown as you blinked in confusion. The sweet and airy sounds continued as you looked up at Jeonghan, suddenly remembering where you were.
Jeonghan met your gaze once you moved, the light from his phone behind your head illuminating his face as he stared back at you. He couldn’t contain his laughter seeing your tired face, letting his head fall back as he put his phone down.
You only sighed before pushing yourself up, too dazed to curse at him already.
It seemed like Jeonghan hadn’t moved at all as you were sleeping, silently scrolling on his phone while he had patiently waited for you to wake up. Whilst you had a nice nap, you couldn’t help feeling a bit embarrassed—and maybe ashamed—about letting yourself get so comfortable around him already.
It took a lot of you to feel at ease around others, and you just hoped Jeonghan wouldn’t take advantage of your vulnerability despite his reassuring words.
“You woke up at a perfect time, sleepyhead.” Jeonghan smirked at you, watching you rub your eyes.
“Why?” you asked with a frown, the boy copying you by sitting up as well. He grabbed his phone again, crossing his legs before showing you the live location of a food delivery driver entering the street.
“You ordered food?” you looked at him. Jeonghan smiled, eyes closing in a slow nod. “I’ll be right back, ducky. Don’t miss me too much,” he tapped your nose playfully before pushing himself off the bed, chuckling at you rolling your eyes as he sauntered out of his bedroom.
Jeonghan returned within a minute, flashing you the plastic bag with a smile before sitting on the edge of the bed.
“I got us burgers.” he announced, pulling out two white wrappers and a bag of fries to put in between you.
Jeonghan ate a fry, humming as he chewed while opening a packet of ketchup. “Are you hungry?” he asked, grabbing a couple of fries again. You nodded, unwrapping your burger slowly before meeting his gaze again.
Jeonghan cocked up his eyebrows, smiling as he watched you. “What’s going on in that little head of yours?” he asked in amusement.
You sighed, frowning for a bit as you searched for your words.
“Do you think… we’ll even convince him?” you asked him hesitantly.
Jeonghan cocked his head to the side. “Of course we will. You don’t think so?” he took a bite of his burger, nodding his head towards yours to get you to eat already.
“I’m not sure,” you sighed again before looking down at your cheeseburger, choosing not to further bother him with your insecurities before finally taking a big bite.
He could tell you had more on your mind than you led on, carefully watching you as he chewed his food. Jeonghan chose not to ask too many questions—not yet.
After finishing your food you headed back to the sorority. It was dark out, and if you stayed out for much longer your sorority sisters would undoubtedly start asking questions you didn’t want to answer.
As you left the frat you thought about how different Jeonghan really was compared to how you’d perceived him. He was funny, and more importantly, he was kind. So kind he’d given you his jacket so you wouldn’t get cold on your walk home. It felt good being around him, as though you were finally seen. Really seen.
You zipped up the dark blue jacket, the back adorned with big white ΙΖ' lettering, smiling to yourself like a creep as you thought about all of the dumb jokes Jeonghan had fed you the whole night.
Soonyoung sipped on his diet coke as he watched Seokmin and you work on your assignment, brown irises flickering between the two of you as he sat in silence.
He didn’t notice the familiar jacket you’d purposely left on the table next to your laptop, or how awkwardly your frame shifted in the stiff chair beneath the buzzing lights of the study hall.
You hadn’t been in contact with Jeonghan all day, assuming you’d see him again at the group meeting. Only he hadn’t shown up, the boys beside you mentioning how he’d told them he had been too tired to leave the house.
It had only been half an hour since you’d started working on coding a website for your three product skincare line—a task that would be a whole lot easier if Soonyoung and Seokmin had done their part of the assignment. Which they hadn’t.
At least you’d gotten somewhere today. The basics weren’t hard, you’d already finished most of the HTML structure and some basic CSS. To continue you needed to know what products you’d use—Seokmin’s task—and the color scheme and logo that would represent your website—which was what Soonyoung had to do.
You reminded yourself you all had the whole semester to finish, so for now you could relax. But you felt anything but relaxed, your body on edge in the presence of Soonyoung.
The screen of your phone lit up, your jaw ticking when you read the message.
Yoon Jeonghan: go flirt with him ;)
You accidentally met Soonyoung’s gaze, forcing yourself to give him a stiff smile. Soonyoung smiled back at you, straightening up in his chair before motioning to your laptop.
“Can I see?” he had a hopeful look on his face, his chubby cheeks growing in size as he smiled wider.
Jeonghan’s words echoed in your head, sending your pulse racing. Your stomach felt tight, gulping before you nodded and turned the screen to him. Why was this so hard?
“Oh! You did all this?” Soonyoung scanned the simple website you’d created, easily impressed by your abilities.
You nodded. “Yeah… It’ll look better after we have a logo and stuff,” you rambled, watching Soonyoung slowly pout. “Right,” he giggled, exhaling a soft breath. “I’ll get us a kick-ass logo soon, promise.” he smiled, making Seokmin chuckle in amusement. He obviously didn’t have much trust in his friend.
You called it a day soon after, feeling a bit defeated as you had no idea how to go about this. Sure, it was one thing to fake-date Soonyoung’s best friend, but without Jeonghan you had no clue how to act in front of him. You felt lost.
Things were basically the same as before—strictly friendly. That was it.
You sighed in defeat at the scene in front of you. Small groups of random students you didn’t recognize sipped on their cheap bottles of beer, chatting away without a care in the world.
“We won’t be long,” Jeonghan bumped your shoulder, already reading your mind. He smirked at the glare you were sending his way. “We just need to be seen together.” he explained for what seemed like the nth time, making you hum uninterested.
The frat seemed to get rowdier by the minute as Jeonghan poured you a drink in the kitchen. A special drink, or how he’d called it.
You didn’t want to admit it, but you were feeling nervous. It was the first time you’d so openly be seen together with Jeonghan. And you were still doubting all of it.
It wasn’t only the inquisitive eyes of strangers you dreaded—or Soonyoung’s, it was also the fact that your best friend would come.
You had no idea how you would convince her you’d randomly started dating Yoon Jeonghan out of all people, afraid she’d see right through you. How could she not?
Jeonghan handed you a glass with an almost black liquor, cocking up his eyebrow at you as he waited. You accepted it hesitantly before taking a big gulp. You figured you needed alcohol for this anyway.
“God, what’s in this?” you cringed at the heavy flavor, making the boy next to you laugh.
“You’ve never had jagermeister?” he snorted before bringing the rim to his quirked lips.
“Straight?” your eyes widened, watching him swallow down the drink.
“No, silly. I added coke.” he smiled, the essence from the liquor coating his lips.
You rolled your eyes, relaxing as he put his arm around you. “Calm down, ducky. You’re so on edge today,” he observed aloud, softly squeezing your shoulder. You only sighed, scanning the body of people before you.
Almost immediately, you made eye contact with Jaehee, who excitedly walked up to Jeonghan and you. She seemed pretty smug when she noticed Jeonghan’s arm around you, tilting her eyebrows playfully as she got closer.
“Hi y/nnie, Jeonghan,” she grinned. Jeonghan gave her a courtesy nod, smiling politely as he slid his hand down to rest atop your waist. The sensation of having his hand there caught you off guard for a moment.
“What’s all this? You know you’re not supposed to mix business with pleasure, right?” She teased, awfully surprised at the seemingly random pairing.
You didn’t question her reaction. Despite her not knowing about the grudge you’d held against Jeonghan for well over a year, she was very aware of your crush on Soonyoung. Which made Jeonghan and you together somewhat odd.
“Guess the cat’s out of the bag,” Jeonghan chuckled, pulling you closer to kiss the top of your head. “Had to pull out all of my charm for this one,” he continued, and you admired how well he was playing his role.
“Oh, i’m sure. You got the pick of the litter, Yoon Jeonghan,” Jaehee winked at you as she talked you up.
Her eyes easily found Jeonghan again. “But, make her sad once and see what happens.” Her lips pressed together in a straight line.
Jeonghan smiled, looking down at you as if you were the only one in the room. “I wouldn’t dream of it.” he almost whispered as you met his eye. You only blinked at him, not knowing how to respond before he chuckled at you and softly nudged your cheek with the back of his fingers, leaving the skin tingling from his touch.
“I have to restock the coolers real quick before the beer bros start complaining,” Jeonghan squeezed your waist before letting go of you. “I’ll give you two a minute.” he smiled, patting your head before walking off.
“What the fuck?!” Jaehee yell-whispered at you as you watched Jeonghan disappear. You had to remind yourself to act natural. This was all a part of the plan, after all.
“You’re dating Jeonghan? How did that happen?” Jae crossed her arms over her chest, a pleased smirk forming on her glossy lips.
You gave her a smile. “Oh, you know…” you brushed it off, chuckling.
“Is this why you’ve been so off lately?” she asked, shaking her head in amazement. You frowned as you took a sip of your overpowering drink. “I haven’t been off,” you told her after finishing your glass in one gulp.
“You so have!” she giggled, pushing your shoulder playfully. You only laughed, shrugging. “Maybe.” you pouted, giggling at the expression she was giving you.
Jaehee shook her head again in amazement, turning to the kitchen island to pour herself a drink.
Though you did feel bad for lying, you tried not to think about it for now. You’d tell her eventually, after all of this would merely be a funny memory you’d laugh at looking back.
“So,” she started, turning back to you with a mischievous grin. “Did you have sex with him yet?” she leaned in, reading your reaction carefully.
“Jaehee…” you rolled your eyes and laughed, trying not to seem too caught off guard at the question. The thought of it brought goosebumps to your skin, and you reached for the bottle of vodka on the counter to mask the shaky breath you suddenly had to let out. You needed it for emotional support anyway with Jeonghan not there to do the talking for you.
“Oh, come on! You got your first boyfriend and you want me to be cool about it?” she sulked.
“I don’t want to jinx anything yet,” you told her coolly, chuckling at her sighing out loud. “Fair.” she smiled sweetly, dropping it for now.
Soonyoung hadn’t spared you a second glance after his initial greeting—a mere wave—off laughing with Seokmin and some random girl for what had already felt like hours.
Jeonghan had been gone for a while already, and you were starting to feel restless without him. You blamed it on the scene in front of you—the way Soonyoung’s laugh echoed far too loudly at whatever the girl was telling him, his arm deliberately brushing her shirt. Your skin prickled almost painfully at the sight as you tried to pay attention to Jae’s rant about something Mingyu had done.
Still, Seokmin was right there. Equally as loud, friendly, exactly the buffer that should’ve made all of this easier to stomach. And yet… it didn’t. The restlessness lingered like a breath you couldn't fully release. An itch you couldn’t reach.
You kept glancing over at Soonyoung, but the longer you looked, the less you recognised him. The somewhat quiet, awkward kid you used to know felt like someone else entirely now. You were beginning to fear that you were chasing a past version of him, one that didn’t even exist anymore. You realised you were looking through the lens of someone who used to know him.
Maybe you were just doing this all wrong. Maybe if you were louder, or bolder—better, you wouldn’t be feeling this defeated.
There was a dull, stubborn ache in your chest that kept on growing, one that you couldn’t ignore no matter how hard you tried. The thought of doing all of this without even knowing if you still even wanted it stung, and all you wanted was to flee. All you wanted was for Jeonghan to make you laugh again.
“Fuck, okay—I’m gonna go find him,” Jaehee sighed after getting out all her pent up frustration, taking the remainder of her drink as a shot. “I’m going to confront him—remind him I’m a bad bitch who doesn’t take shit. Wish me luck.” Her jaw stiffened, eyes scanning the room to catch sight of Mingyu.
“Good luck, girl,” you forced a smile. You really didn’t want to be by yourself right now. But you didn’t say anything, watching her sigh before getting lost in the crowd.
You had the perfect opportunity to leave the party, walk the short route back to the sorority and simply call it a night. The alcohol had made you tired anyway.
Yet you found yourself sipping on another drink on the couch.
You were hoping Jeonghan would come find you. Whenever you were with him you seemed to forget about everything that gnawed at you. He was quickly becoming your comfort in all of the chaos you felt. Maybe he was the cause of it, too.
As if on cue, you spotted the long-haired boy in the sea of people. “There you are,” he said when he got close enough. His voice soothed you, and you already felt a bit better. Jeonghan slotted himself next to you on the couch with a low groan, his warm hand finding your knee as if it were natural.
“What’s wrong?” he squeezed you when you didn’t greet him. You shrugged.
Jeonghan looked at you for a moment, his big eyes reading you. “Is this about Soonyoung?” he blinked.
You exhaled a breath. “It’s stupid.”
“Probably,” he said, earning a glare. Jeonghan only smiled.
“C’mon, tell Jeonghannie,” He put his arm around you, pulling you closer to him.
“I hate that.” you grumbled at the way he was referring to himself, making him chuckle. “Stop moping, little ducky,” he began stroking your hair..
You sighed, chewing on your bottom lip. You just looked at him for a moment, his features softening as he noted your hesitance.
“I don’t think I can do this,” you said carefully, frowning a little. You felt vulnerable vocalizing what’d been plaguing your mind, but somehow it eased the weight off your shoulders too.
His brown eyes didn’t leave yours, sympathy growing on his handsome face. Jeonghan then softly hummed in acknowledgment. “Why do you think that?” he simply asked.
You sighed again, looking away. “Just… It’s stupid—I don’t have a chance with him anyway,” you mumbled, making Jeonghan cock up his eyebrows.
“Huh? Of course you do, silly,” Jeonghan softly shook you, smiling at you sparingly. He wondered why you continued to put yourself down.
You looked at him, doubt clear on your face. “I don’t think so.” you shrugged. It was Jeonghan’s turn to sigh. “Well, you’re wrong.” he fixed a stray strand of your hair, putting the lock behind your ear.
You chuckled bitterly. “I’m not his type. I’m not… confident, or assertive… no one ever likes me,” your jaw tightened a bit as you spoke, your throat closing up.
Jeonghan frowned at you, pausing for a moment. “That’s not true y/n,” he shook his head, observing you carefully. “Like, not at all.” He sighed before gently nudging your chin, looking at you. You softly pouted, not really knowing what to say.
“Do you even know how lucky he’d be to have you?” he added, his sweet words only making you somber.
“He’ll see that too, so don't try to act like someone you’re not. You’re already perfect.” Jeonghan reassured you, holding your chin to keep you from looking away from him again. You swallowed a lump in your throat.
“Such a pretty girl…” he then hummed with a smile, only making things worse. You hated how much his words impacted you—how easily they reached the parts of you you tried to keep hidden.
“He’d be such an idiot…” he whispered, taking you in carefully.
You avoided his gaze, unable to repress the tears that were starting to form in the corners of your eyes. You didn’t know why it hit so hard—maybe because you wanted to believe it.
“Aigooya,” Jeonghan reached out to dry your tears. “Don’t cry on me, little ducky,” he pouted before giving your cheek a soft squeeze, slowly starting to smile.
“I’ll talk you up to him, okay? I promise.” he assured you. You blinked away your tears and exhaled a breath to compose yourself, nodding as you gave him a little smile.
“Good. Now, don’t be sad—or Jaehee will scold me for being a bad boyfriend.” he sighed, making you chuckle in the middle of all of this.
“I’m okay… thank you, Hannie.” you sniffled.
Jeonghan cocked his head to the side at the nickname you’d given him, smirking in amusement. “I already got a nickname? I must be good at this fake boyfriend thing.” he teased you, laughing when you pushed him.
“Ow!” he giggled. “Keep teasing me and I might start thinking you actually like me,” Jeonghan grinned, making you roll your eyes. “I’m not teasing you.” you tried not to smile.
“Oh? Calling me that is teasing, ducky.” he put his arm around you again, smiling as he pulled you into his embrace, this time keeping you there.
“You call me that stupid nickname every two seconds and I’m the one teasing?” you looked up at him, your cheek resting against his shoulder as he kept you close.
“I never said I wasn’t,” Jeonghan smirked, almost challenging you to say something back.
You could feel your face starting to heat up, not knowing how to get back at him. There was a brief pause between the two of you.
“You know,” Jeonghan then whispered, momentarily looking behind you before his sharp eyes invaded yours again. He licked his lips before glancing at yours, and the subtle action made you slightly nervous. “I know just how to get people’s attention,” the corner of his mouth rose, waiting on how you’d react. Now you were getting really nervous.
Still, you didn’t know what to say.
Jeonghan looked perfect as he studied you, like he already knew what you were thinking. You were terrified he might. Your quietness, your hesitation… you were convinced it only enticed him. But what if you were just imagining the sudden heaviness hanging in the air?
“What, you don’t want to kiss me?” his lip threatened to curl up again, though he tried his best not to.
Oh.
You blinked at him in surprise, too afraid to assume that he was actually serious.
“Jeonghan…” you whispered shyly, feeling your heart beating out of your chest.
Jeonghan knew you weren’t saying no—he could see it in your eyes, in the way you were looking at him the same way he had been looking at you. You wanted to. He wasn’t dumb. But you were simply too timid to initiate what he’d been alluding to.
He then gently cupped your cheek, fingers burning against your warm skin as he slowly leaned in. His lips parted in a pleased smirk noticing the hazy look hiding behind your eyes, thumb swiping your cheek to lure your blown pupils to meet his, commanding your full and uttermost attention. You melted under his touch, watching his long lashes fan his cheeks as he closed them, before his lips finally met yours in a soft but long kiss.
The party was all a blur by now, fixated on the feeling of Jeonghan’s lips and his body leaning into yours. You felt hot, and maybe not just because of the alcohol in your system. Just when you started to fear he’d pull away, Jeonghan purred against your mouth, holding you tighter before tracing a line on your bottom lip with his tongue. You let him take the lead, let him do as he pleased as he left you whimpering with a mere tug of his teeth.
You realised he’s messing with you even now, feeling him smile whenever he gets a sound out of you. You didn’t care this time, finding your hand suddenly clutching his shirt at his side as Jeonghan deepened the kiss, hearing the wet smacking sounds even over the music you had already tuned out.
You kissed Jeonghan back with equal fever. You were vaguely aware of people watching—You didn’t care. You didn’t want to stop. You moaned into his mouth at the sensation, a mess of spit and teeth that had your cheeks burn with anticipation.
It all felt a little too real—but maybe if you convinced yourself it was as real as it felt, others would believe it too. Even if Soonyoung didn’t see what was happening, word would spread eventually.
Then, he stopped.
“Let’s go to my room,” Jeonghan whispered, linking your fingers together before getting up and pulling you with him.
You only nodded, ignoring the quiet sting of something unfinished as he led you through the body of people, away from the rowdy living room.
You’d gotten what Jeonghan had promised—something to make all of this seem believable. And getting seen leaving together was the icing on the cake.
Your lips still tingled from the kiss, though you tried not to show how much Jeonghan had unraveled you as you entered his bedroom together. You were finally away from the party, and you could let yourself relax now. You exhaled a breath you hadn’t realized you were holding before smiling, feeling Jeonghan’s eyes on you as you kicked off your shoes and crawled onto his bed.
“Mission accomplished,” you joked, lying down with a groan and stretching out your limbs to get comfortable.
Jeonghan didn’t respond. You watched him crawl onto the bed after you, mirroring your movements. You smiled at him, expecting him to roll onto his back next to you—only to freeze when he climbed on top of you instead.
Jeonghan kissed you again. Only this time he didn’t intend on stopping.
Your breath hitched against his lips, hands finding his shoulders as you let him.
The way his weight pressed into you made your head spin, like you were his for the taking.
His elbows framed your face, soft, long hairs brushing your face—you couldn’t think anymore. You didn’t want to think anymore.
“Jeonghan—“ you finally whispered, your body on fire as he shushed you with a long peck. You suppressed a moan and squeezed his shoulder in vain at the way he kept sucking and biting your bottom lip, a veil of pleasure spreading through every inch of you.
“Jeonghan—Wha-what are you doing?” you managed to stutter through your haze, feeling yourself practically glued to the mattress.
Jeonghan cupped your cheeks, giving you a long peck. “Can’t help myself. Y’re just so cute,” he mumbled before kissing you again, sighing when you started kissing him back.
The tips of his fingers found your skin under the hem of your top, brushing your hip almost hesitantly as if you could pull away at any moment, like any wrong move would bring you back to your senses and have you slip away from him.
You pulled him closer, sighing at the feeling of his hand slowly stroking up your side. Your back curled autonomously at the gentle caress, pressing your head into the pillow as Jeonghan ground his hips against yours.
Nimble fingers pulled up the cup of your bra, plumped pink lips pecking your ajar mouth as he squeezed your breast. You spread your thighs wider for him before pulling on the ends of his hair, kissing him hard as you started panting at the friction of his groin grinding against your clothed cunt.
“Hannie…” you whispered, curling your back again.
“Yes, ducky?” Jeonghan asked softly, rolling your nipple between his fingers.
“Please…” you gulped, letting go of his hair to pull at the hem of his shirt.
You’d never fake dated before, but you were sure you were breaking every rule in the book.
Jeonghan slowly started kissing down to your neck, only stopping to rid himself of the fabric you wanted gone. His smooth back felt soft as you shyly traced a line over the fair skin, eyes closing with a sigh when he sucked on a particularly sensitive spot where your neck met your shoulder.
“Is this still okay?” Jeonghan whispered against your skin, his fingers splayed over your exposed stomach where your top had ridden up, softly kneading your waist. You nodded, and he softly moaned when your nails brushed the nape of his neck, tangling gently in his long hair.
You guided his lips back to yours, all signs of modesty ignored, evident in the way your tongue nastily demanded his.
“Fuck.” Jeonghan breathed. “Can I touch you, baby?” he asked, squeezing your waist while his thumbs pushed down against the waistband of your jeans. Eagerly, you nodded. “Yes, please,” you mumbled against his lips, feeling the corners of his mouth tug up.
You sucked on his bottom lip to silence any potential sneer that would follow, smiling at the hushed curse that followed.
Jeonghan kept kissing you as he undid the button of your jeans, fingers dipping into the fabric to tug them down to your knees.
The short sensation of his body grinding against you had already left a mess between your legs, leaving a subtle dark patch on your panties.
You didn’t give Jeonghan much of an opportunity to pull away from you, mewling against his mouth at the sudden feeling of his fingers slowly starting to rub your clit.
Your body started meeting his touch, hips following his movement as your jaw slacked.
Jeonghan softly hummed, brown eyes fixated on your face as he kept pecking your top lip.
“More, Hannie…” your chest tightened when you met his eye, a heavy veil settling over your body as the weight of what the two of you were doing sank in.
Jeonghan looked down at you, taking a beat too long to respond as if he had realized the exact same thing. Then he smiled—almost smirking before applying more pressure.
You moaned, squeezing your eyes shut for a quick second before giving him a hard kiss. You softly shook your head. “More.” you told him again, a short wave of anxiety seeping through your body that instantly disappeared again when he dipped his fingers inside of your panties, finally touching you where you needed him.
“Is this better?” he whispered, smiling when you gave him this look, begging for him to kiss you properly again.
“Yes,” you said almost inaudibly, your nails raking over the back of his neck at the feeling of his soft lips pushing against yours.
He circled your clit with his thumb, his fingers taunting your burning entrance.
You spread your thighs even further, hoping it would lead to him pushing his fingers deep inside of you already.
Instead, Jeonghan took his time teasing your clit and entrance, thumb pushing into your nub as two of his fingers brushed against your wet hole.
Your hands slid to his cheeks, cupping his face before moaning into his mouth. You could feel him smile at the sounds he was inciting out of you, only spurring the both of you on more.
His digits pushed against your entrance, starting to dip inside of you before stopping right when you started to feel your entrance burn. They slipped back against your wet entrance, a chuckle rolling out of his throat when you exhaled a breath of frustration.
“Say please,” Jeonghan purred against your lips, now completely abandoning your core to gently pinch your clit. You exhaled another breath, brows furrowing while your cheeks grew hotter.
“Jeonghan…” you whispered, squeezing his shoulder in hopes of having him give in to you.
“Come on, just like you did before,” he continued, failing to hide how much he enjoyed the reaction he had on you.
You sighed, feeling as if you were cloud nine as he started nibbling on your bottom lip.
“Please…” you gulped, imagining his long fingers pushing inside of you.
“Good girl,” Jeonghan mumbled, his hot tongue finding yours before he did just that, two digits starting to slowly enter you. A moan filled the air, your breath hitching as your pussy stretched to accommodate his fingers.
He moved them at a slow pace, opening his eyes to watch you wither under him. A sight he didn’t want to ever forget.
“Does that feel good, ducky?” Jeonghan whispered, brushing your lips with his. You quickly nodded, trying to keep kissing him despite the overwhelming pleasure that kept building, putting you in a trance.
He went a bit faster, forehead touching yours as his eyes remained glued to your face. Your eyelashes fanned your cheeks, lips twitching and mouth unfurling with every delicious drag of his fingers.
“Mmnh!” you whimpered and bucked your hips when he circled your hard clit, making your thighs twitch at the friction. You tightened around him, clutching his shoulder and pulling him flat against your body as some sort of anchor.
You gasped for air, sliding a leg over his hip before pushing yours up, chasing the orgasm you felt approaching quickly.
Jeonghan kissed your nose before going even faster, dying to watch you come around his fingers.
You bit your lip, squeezing your eyes shut as pleasure bloomed inside of you, consuming you as you reached your high with another loud whimper.
“Fuck,” you moaned, sighing as your thigh unhooked from his hip and slid back down on the mattress.
Jeonghan kissed your cheek, slowly pulling his fingers out of you before sucking them clean while looking at you. He had you speechless.
“Are you okay?” Jeonghan asked softly, your eyes fixated on his plump lips. Slowly, you nodded, feeling slightly unsure as you pecked his lips. Jeonghan smiled.
“You’re cute,” he chuckled, fixing the wild strands of your hair before moving to push himself up. Your hand quickly found his bicep.
“No.” you slipped out, eyes wide and hazy as you looked at him.
Jeonghan tilted his head, blinking slowly. Then he smiled in amusement. “Aren’t you tired, baby?” Jeonghan teased you, his muscles relaxing as he found his previous position again.
You shook your head.
“Do you… do you want to?” you asked a bit unsure, only hoping you weren’t embarrassing yourself. What if the moment was just that—a moment that had now passed.
Jeonghan laughed, giving you a chaste kiss.
“Are you serious? Do you even know how hard I am right now?” he chuckled when you replied with a nod, stroking your cheek with the back of his hand before pushing himself up at last.
You watched him unbuckle his belt, admiring his pretty body whilst he rid himself of his pants. Your eyes followed a path down to his boxers, swallowing a lump in your throat at what you were seeing.
You didn’t expect just how big he were, even with the dark piece of fabric that was still covering his manhood.
“Are you gonna take it off for me?” Jeonghan asked you, his sultry voice and bedroom eyes making your chest thump. Those eyes of his would have you do anything he asked of you.
You suddenly realized you were still lying down with your pants half on, shyly tugging them down together with your panties before discarding them on the floor. You kneeled on the bed, crawling over to where Jeonghan was to push him down and settle between his thighs.
He watched you slip off your top over your head, your bra thrown on the growing pile to the side.
You bit your lip as Jeonghan admired your naked body, his hand reaching out to stroke your thigh.
“You’re so pretty,” he whispered, squeezing your skin. You gave him a small smile, trying to exhale a controlled breath as your fingers splayed over his lower tummy.
“You’re pretty too.” Your lip twitched, eyes leaving his to glide down his figure, your digits hooking into his boxers to pull at the stretchy band.
“Thank you, ducky.” Jeonghan hummed, licking his lips as he watched you get him fully naked.
Your lungs filled up with air when you saw his large cock, the tip glistening and leaking pre-cum already. You weren’t sure if you were able to fit all of him inside of you, and the mere thought of it sinking deep inside made you gulp. In a good way.
Quickly, your hand wrapped around the base, your lips parting as you leaned down a little to let a glob of spit drip down onto the red tip.
Jeonghan sighed, his eyes narrowing as he watched you carefully.
You spread the wetness all over his length, the dirty sounds filling the air even over the subtle music off in the distance. Jeonghan’s body relaxed under your touch, his mouth slightly open as he breathed deeper.
The sight in front of you had your cunt tighten around nothing. You didn’t care that you weren’t supposed to do this. Right now you needed to feel him.
Jeonghan’s hands found your waist, his breath hitching when you straddled him and fisted his hard cock to align the tip against your folds. You kissed him, softly moaning against his lips as you ground your cunt against him.
Slowly but gradually, you started sinking down, a mixture of your moans filling the air.
He was so big, and you struggled to accommodate his thick tip. “Slow down.” Jeonghan groaned, throwing his head back to release a filthy whimper as you ignored him and did your best to keep going.
“Fuck,” you moaned, clencing around his size fruitlessly. You held his shoulders to support yourself, your hips stuttering when you finally sat down on him. You exhaled a shaky breath before rolling your hips, the overstimulation killing you.
You moaned again, feeling him press right onto your G-spot.
He looked so effortlessly pretty like this. The strands of his long hair framed his face, tongue peeking out from plump lips as his chest adorned a new red-colored flush. You could feel him tighten his grip on your waist, big eyes watching you.
You found a steady rhythm, trying your best to keep yourself from cumming already—which proved to be harder than anything.
A yelp came out of you when his thumb brushed your clit just like before, your jaw slacking at the newfound pleasure running through your body. “Fuck, Jeonghan,” you gulped hard, biting your lip and moaning when he thrusted up once to meet you.
“You feel so fucking good, ducky,” Jeonghan moaned, yanking you down by your shoulder to have your chests meet. He put an arm around you, keeping you pressed against you as he planted his feet down on the mattress to fuck up into you. You whimpered hard.
“Sorry, sorry, just need you now,” he groaned, his cheek pressing against your crown.
You squeezed his shoulders, whimpering uncontrollably as he kept a head-spinning pace. You pressed your mouth against his neck, making him curse as your teeth found his skin.
Jeonghan gripped your ass, kneading the skin as the filthy sounds echoed through his bedroom.
Anyone walking past would be able to hear what was happening, and yet you really didn’t care. You were sure Jeonghan didn’t care.
Your body felt on fire, the feeling of his hands gripping you to keep you from moving leaving you breathless.
Then, he rolled you onto your back, pinning your arms above your head by your wrists as he started fucking you again. Jeonghan licked his lips, watching you wither under him with a pair of hazy eyes to match his.
God, he was big. He stretched you out so deliciously, so perfectly. You squeezed your eyes shut when his mouth encircled your nipple, sucking and biting carelessly to take you apart even further.
“Fuck. Gonna cum soon. Can’t take it anymore,” Jeonghan groaned, sucking and leaving a train of love bites from your tit to your neck. You bit your lip and nodded, sighing at how full you felt. You were right there with him, your muscles burning and your cunt pulsing as that familiar feeling spread through your body.
“D-don’t pull out.” you gulped, curling your back before moaning.
Jeonghan gave you a kiss. “Have to, baby,” he told you, trapping your wrists with one hand as the other one found your clit again. You whimpered and squirmed under him, weakly shaking your head.
“Please?” you sighed, bucking your hips. Jeonghan groaned as his lips found yours, his breath hitching.
“God—Are you sure?” he asked, his thrust becoming sloppy.
You nodded soundlessly, feeling like you were floating. As if the world around you didn’t exist.
“Yes, Hannie,” you hooked a leg around his waist, making the both of you moan in each other’s mouth.
Jeonghan felt even deeper now, massaging your bundle of nerves until he felt you starting to cum around him. He cursed at the feeling of your tight pussy gripping his cock, your body going slack against his. He stilled as his warm cum started filling you, softly moving to fuck his release deep inside.
You curled your back in pleasure, exhaling a long breath as you relished the dizzying feeling.
Jeonghan let go of your wrists to cup your cheek, pressing a long kiss on your parted lips before resting his face in the crook of your neck. He stroked your sides as he tried to catch his breath, planting more soft kisses there as his hips slowly moved against yours, before finally stopping.
You stayed like that for a moment, feeling Jeonghan’s chest rise and fall as his cock remained lodged inside of you. Only when you started to feel your mixed release dripping from where you were joined he slowly lifted his hips to let his cock fall out of you.
You bit your lip at the feeling, already missing the closeness you shared.
Jeonghan sat up and fixed his hair before helping you up, holding your hand as he wordlessly walked to the bathroom with you.
“Are you okay, ducky?” he asked softly after running the shower. You gave him a smile, nodding. “I’m good, Hannie. Are you?” you asked him, your smile growing when he nodded.
“Of course,” he squeezed your cheek before signaling for you to enter the shower, watching you step inside before following you.
Sunlight warmed your face, the fraternity oddly quiet compared to the night before. You rubbed your tired eyes before turning to an already awake Jeonghan, blinking at the ceiling as if he was deep in thought.
“Hey,” you said softly, cuddling up next to him.
Jeonghan smiled, putting his arm around you.
“Hi ducky.” he sweetly rubbed your back, tracing patterns on his shirt you were wearing.
You tried not to think too much about what had happened between you two. You weren’t ready to face the consequences of your actions yet, not today at least.
“Do you think Soonyoung saw us?” you then asked him quietly, tilting your head.
Jeonghan got quiet for a moment, momentarily stopping the tracing on your back as he looked at you.
“Yeah. Probably.”
“I think so too,” you hummed, resting your face against his chest. “Hopefully,” you added before smiling, closing your eyes again.
“Right.” Jeonghan looked at you, his fingers finding your hair again.
You didn’t realize how quiet the room had gotten again.
The distant laughing and shouting from the group of boys running around at the school’s football field brought a surprisingly comforting atmosphere–almost calming as the ball got kicked around from left to right.
Your eyes easily found Soonyoung’s figure. He was hard to miss. Maybe you were just naturally drawn to him, despite the doubt that had started growing inside of your head.
It had merely started as a tiny seed, a speck of uncertainty that had grown into something bigger—clouding your mind ever since that day not long ago. The same day where you ended up sleeping with Jeonghan.
It had only been a few days since then, but you just couldn’t figure out why you were starting to fear this plan of Jeonghan somehow working.
It’s not that you had even an inkling of trust in this plan—that hadn’t progressed one bit, mind you—It was just that Jeonghan seemed to have some kind of magical power to get whatever he wanted.
He was alluring. A pretty face that knew just what to say and when to say it was truly a deadly combination. You were sure he could convince you to jump in a ditch if he smiled at you right.
Maybe you were right to enjoy your time with Jeonghan while you figured out what you really wanted. It was no use to put an end to it now—not when your new friendship with Jeonghan was making you feel a lot happier than you’ve been for the past few years. Nothing wrong with that, right?
“Keep still,” Jeonghan teasingly pulled you back by your lock of hair he was braiding, snapping you out of your train of thought.
“Ow!” you complained with a pout, giggling when Jeonghan tsked at your obvious exaggeration.
You were sitting in front of his body with your legs crossed, plucking at the blades of grass that tickled the palms of your hands.
“Didn’t you like football, Hannie?” you frowned as your eyes followed the flock of boys running around, ignoring how he sighed whenever you moved too much for his liking. He hummed, carefully tying the bottom of your braid before finally letting go of your hair.
You quickly turned your head, Jeonghan watching your braid snapping to the side as you looked back at him.
“Then why aren’t you playing?” you asked him, watching him chuckle at you before carefully moving your braid over your shoulder.
“Can’t I spend time with my girlfriend?” he smirked at you, laughing when you rolled your eyes. “I’m being serious,” you sighed, scooting to sit next to him. “Me too.” Jeonghan grinned, draping his arm around your shoulder right as Soonyoung giggled in the background. You briefly glanced at him, exhaling in amusement as you watched him laugh, running to the other side of the field with others hot on his heels, kicking the ball in the direction of the goal.
Your eyes naturally found Jeonghan again, watching the corners of his mouth lift up as you made eye contact. For some reason the energy felt heavier in this moment, and you were overly aware of how close you were sitting. You could feel his chest expand as he breathed, smell the peach shampoo off his dark hair—or the subtle peppery, bergamot scent from his perfume that mixed in whenever he moved.
You gave him a half-smile before quickly diverting your gaze down back to the grass, routinely pulling at the blades again.
“Did you—Did you ever talk to him?” you scrunched your eyebrows momentarily as you broke the silence, shortly looking at Jeonghan before watching the blades of grass in your hand get carried away by the wind.
“Hm?” Jeonghan leaned into you at your question, his fingers finding the end of your braid to toy with.
“I mean—Did you talk to Soonyoung for me?” you clarified, looking at him sparingly.
“Oh—right. Yeah, I did,” He told you, making you kind of worried with the way he didn’t share more.
“And…?” You asked unsure, feeling more and more insecure by the second. Even the possibility of catching Soonyoung’s eye after all of these years brought goosebumps to your skin.
“He said you’re insanely cute,” Jeonghan told you, watching your reaction.
You blinked in surprise, your lips forming a subtle pout as you took in his words. Slowly, you nodded, flashing Jeonghan a small smile. “Really?” you asked him, caught off guard. Jeonghan nodded, making you giggle by squeezing your cheek. “Yes, really. I mean, who could ever resist you? It was bound to happen eventually,” he shrugged, making you cringe and bump your shoulder into his chest.
Truth was, Jeonghan was lying straight through his teeth. He had never talked with Soonyoung about you after making his promise to you. He was never planning on it, either. He didn’t know why, but for some reason he just didn’t want to. Maybe it was selfish of him, but he didn’t want to put an end to this fake relationship. Not when being with you felt like remembering something warm from a dream he didn’t want to forget.
“Hey guys!” Soonyoung exclaimed happily as he ran up to Jeonghan and you, a football tucked under his arm. “Did you see me score?!” he carelessly dropped the football before plopping down on the grass in front of the two of you, letting the ball roll a bit before settling beside him.
“Oh, of course we did Soonyoungie!” Jeonghan smiled at him, and you felt his hand find your shoulder again as he fed him the little white lie. “You did so well,”
You watched Soonyoung, his cute eyes progressively getting smaller upon getting praised by his older friend. He giggled sweetly, meeting your eye as he smiled open-mouthed, like a puppy waiting to get a treat.
“You were great,” you nodded at him, your body responding to having him in front of you after finding out what he’d supposedly said about you.
“Thank you, y/n!” Soonyoung giggled again, pouting in satisfaction. He looked almost shy, yet his demeanor quickly changed when he realised he actually came to ask something.
“Oh—Mingyu and I were thinking of cooking some meat and having drinks at home. You guys are coming too, right?” he looked between Jeonghan and you, his face relaxed as he expected you’d say yes.
You opened your mouth to answer, but Jeonghan started speaking right before you got the chance to. “We are actually about to head to y/n’s place, right ducky?” Jeonghan asked with his mouth dangerously close to your ear, his fingers starting to stroke your shoulder over your top.
You looked over at Jeonghan for a second before looking at Soonyoung. “We were?” you blinked dumbly before realising Jeonghan had made it up on the spot. He chuckled. “Yeah, we were going to work on the project for a bit,” he simply said, and if you didn’t know any better you’d believe him.
“Argh, the project?” Soonyoung scratched behind his ear, smiling playfully.
“Mhm,” Jeonghan only smiled.
“Well, maybe you guys could come after? Seungcheol hyung got us a bunch of weed, it’s gonna be fun!” Soonyoung pushed himself up from the floor as he boasted about tonight, hoping to convince his hyung.
“Yeah, maybe,” Jeonghan said uninterestedly, patting your back before the two of you mimicked the blonde-haired boy and got up from the grass.
As you walked the opposite direction of Soonyoung, exiting the somewhat crowded football field while bumping shoulders with Jeonghan, you found yourself sneaking a look at his pretty face.
His big eyes always drew you in, making you smile as you called his name. There was a hint of playfulness behind his eyes as he looked at you, as if he’d already predicted your action.
“Work on the project?” you only said, cocking up your eyebrow in curiosity.
Jeonghan chuckled, shrugging. “I want to hang out with you,” he admitted. “Just us two.” he added, smiling. “Why, did you want to be with Soonyoungie?” he smirked, his hand bumping against yours. He looked down for a second before looking back at you.
You looked away, failing to hide your smile. “I mean, isn’t that the whole reason why we’re doing this?” you chuckled, hearing him silently giggle. “Sure,” he hummed, smiling cheekily.
Jeonghan silently grabbed your wrist when the distance between you became too big for his liking, closing his eyes in a smile when you looked up at the sudden touch.
“We can go hang with them later, how does that sound ducky?” Jeonghan asked, his tone one of a kindergarten teacher affirming a small child. You hummed, and when Jeonghan silently linked your pinkies together you tried to remain calm. Collected.
“We’ll see,” you said, sneaking a look down at your hands.
Jeonghan almost grinned when he noticed, liking how you tried to act cool, as if you felt normal about it. Only, you could tell what he was doing, mustering up your courage to convince him you did feel very much normal about linking pinkies with him.
“You do know Soonyoung isn’t around, huh?” you gave him a look, smiling when he did too.
“I know,” he simply said. “But others might see us. It’s called being prepared, baby.” he purred, making you roll your eyes, though you couldn’t hide your amusement even if you tried.
“Whatever.” you sighed, making the corners of Jeonghan’s mouth twitch.
“Are you just going to stand there or are you going to help me?” you narrowed your eyes at Jeonghan, who was currently busying himself with smelling each bottle of perfume you had in your possession.
“Found my favorite,” Jeonghan turned to show you the perfume you usually wore, taking his time spraying it on his wrist and letting it dry down before smelling it on his skin. He sighed in contentment, smiling before setting it back.
“It smells best on you,” he concluded with a small shrug before finally walking towards you, sighing when he actually saw you with your laptop open.
“You really want to work on the project?” He took a seat next to you on the bed before crossing his arms over his chest. You gave him a look. “You mean the project you haven’t worked on for a single minute? Yeah,” you looked at him, making Jeonghan throw his head back in a sigh. “You know I’ve actually helped a lot, smartypants.”
You chuckled. “Yeah, by bossing us around maybe.” you cocked up your eyebrow at him, making Jeonghan scoff in disbelief. “Alright, Miss know-it-all. What have you done, then?” he sighed, smiling at you.
You shrugged, letting him snatch your laptop from your lap. He scrolled through the webpage that was open, brows furrowing slightly as he took everything in.
“Wait, ducky, did you code this?” he looked at you, slightly raising his eyebrows as he waited for your reply. You only nodded.
“Huh,” he exclaimed, blinking at the screen. “How did you do that? Isn’t that like—hard?” he frowned. “I didn’t know you could do this,” he continued, a smile growing on his lips.
You rolled your eyes at him. “Well, I am majoring in software engineering, Jeonghan,” you explained, watching a pout grow on his face.
“Wow, I didn’t know that. How did I not know? You’re so talented, y/nnie,” Jeonghan smiled cheekily, pinching your cheek in affection. You whined as you slapped his hand away, laughing at him. “You never asked,” you chuckled, feeling a little shy.
“Mhm, you’re right. I guess I didn’t…” he clicked his tongue, remembering how he had never really spoken to you prior to getting paired together for the project, how getting to know you had been the least of his worries back then.
He smiled watching you trying not to sulk, finding it cute that you were obviously thinking about his past indifference as well.
“M sorry about that, ducky. I know I annoyed you a lot in the past,” Jeonghan looked at you, fingers instinctively finding your braid again. He ran the pad of his thumb down the textured hair, his eyelashes fluttering as he blinked slowly.
You rolled your eyes playfully, the corners of your mouth tugging up as you realized how much you despised him then. That same smirk that used to irk you whenever you caught Jeonghan’s mischievous expression from the back of class was now the very reason you felt so alive.
“You still annoy me,” you bit your lip trying to hide your smile, laughter bubbling from your throat when your words seemed to catch him off guard, his mouth opening in an ‘o’.
“You’re so gonna regret that.” Jeonghan smirked, quickly setting aside your laptop to tickle you. You let out a scream, trying to squirm away as his fingers crept up your sides to your armpits.
“Jeonghan! Stop!” you laughed, your body instinctively flinching from the attack.
Jeonghan giggled, his eyes almost manic as he relished in the reaction he was getting out of you. “My god, I don't think I’ve ever gotten you this loud, ducky,” Jeonghan smirked, getting one more squeal out of you before allowing you to grab his wrists to stop him.
The boy in front of you definitely did not realize how his words evoked a certain memory with you, cheeks growing hotter as you’re forced to replay the images you’d been actively pushing away for days.
You let go of his wrists when he spoke, “Alright, let’s work on this project then,” he hummed, completely oblivious as he opened your laptop.
You caught yourself looking directly at his mouth, a shameful kind of tingle spreading through your body. You forced your eyes away, looking at your lap instead. You missed his mouth, his kisses. You think you could kiss Jeonghan for hours if he let you. Oh my god, focus, you thought to yourself.
“You okay?” Jeonghan cocked up his brow as he noticed your tense body. You nodded.
“God, I hate this. Okay, whatever,” Jeonghan trailed off as he scrolled through your notes, already dreading having to waste his energy on school. “Did you know I once bribed a teacher so I didn’t have to do a group project?” he briefly looked up to catch your reaction, hiding a smirk as he started typing something.
“What?” You barely caught what he said, gulping when he started laughing out loud. “Just kidding. But it sounded quite believable, right?” he licked his lips, a lock of his hair falling in his eye.
You were sitting so close to each other. You only had to lean in and you could experience the same dizzying sensation of meeting his warm lips again.
So, you did. Jeonghan blinked in surprise when you gave him a chaste kiss, high on adrenaline and drunk on your desires, not giving him a chance to react before kissing him for a second time.
A part of you felt like crying, unable to place all the different kinds of thoughts and feelings that were whirling inside of you. It was all so unfamiliar, and you felt too vulnerable. If Jeonghan were to reject your advances you were afraid of how it would all manifest.
“y/n—“ Jeonghan’s words got muffled when you kissed him again, pushing your laptop away from his lap to kiss him properly.
His hands found your cheeks, tongue eagerly meeting yours as his body crowded you until your back met the mattress. Before you knew it he was already on top of you. “You little minx,” Jeonghan mumbled jokingly, squeezing your face before kissing you harder.
You knew you probably shouldn’t have initiated anything, but it all just felt so natural. You kept kissing him, sucking on his bottom lip before teasingly biting the supple skin. Jeonghan groaned, gripping your shoulders to keep you pinned below him.
“Thought you wanted to go see Soonyoung?” Jeonghan asked, moaning when you purposely tugged on the ends of his hair.
You shook your head, taking in a sharp breath when Jeonghan broke the kiss to tentatively encircle your throat with this hand—softly—just to see your reaction.
He seemed oddly surprised to see the aroused look in your eyes, smirking as he softly leaned in—only to stop right before his lips made contact with yours. He giggled meanly when you tried to kiss him back, a brief veil of shame tingling your body.
“Aw, you wanna kiss me that bad?” he cooed, pouting at you mockingly. Jeonghan loved to have you like this, all shy and nervous. So unsure.
“Are you not gonna answer me, ducky?” Jeonghan tightened his grip on your neck a little, biting his lip as he smiled cockily watching your eyes widen. Only, he easily could tell you wanted more.
“You like this, huh?” he grinned.
You tried to nod. “Like anything u do, Hannie,” you admitted, making him mumble a curse in response.
Your words only spurred him on more, and a euphoric feeling spread through his body as he watched you sprawled out underneath him with his hand fanned out over your throat. The sudden high caught him off guard.
He gave your nose a soft kiss, softly pulling away to look at you. He paused for a moment before letting go of you, smiling apologetically when you seemed confused.
“What’s wrong?” you whispered, frowning.
He sighed. “I don’t know about this, ducky,” Jeonghan slowly turned on his side and moved a lock of your hair from your face, not quite knowing why he suddenly felt this odd feeling brooding inside of his chest.
You mimicked him by turning on your side, staying quiet for a moment as you thought. “Do you… regret what happened?” you whispered, suddenly feeling insecure.
Jeonghan shook his head. “No. No, baby. You know I want to—It’s just—We shouldn’t, you know? We’re only…” he sighed, not finishing his sentence.
You slowly nodded, but you really didn’t care about what was right and what wasn’t. You didn’t want to say it, but you having sex had been because of Jeonghan initiating first. It was his fault, so you really didn’t care.
You leaned in to peck his pout. “I know… I do, just—just for a little bit, Hannie,” you got even closer, the tops of your fingers grazing his chest before finding their way down. Jeonghan stroked your cheek before leaning in to softly kiss you again, sighing as your hand brushed over his crotch.
Despite knowing what was right, he wanted this too. Jeonghan needed to have you. Over and over again.
He began to undo your jeans as your hand slipped down his, smiling as you started stroking his hardening cock.
Jeonghan moaned at the feeling of your hand pumping his length, biting his lip whilst the tips of his fingers teased your slit over your panties.
“No teasing.” you warned him, earning a knowing grin from the boy in front of you.
“Alright,” he released a shaky breath, fingers easily finding your wet clit to play with.
You were both still laying on your sides, and your head tipped back as pleasure bloomed inside of you. Jeonghan took the opportunity to kiss your neck, his teeth dragging across your skin to incite a gasp from you.
“More, Hannie,” you whispered, angling your hips for him.
Jeonghan sucked the skin under your ear, keeping his fingers at a set pace without straying from your bundle of nerves. He knew you’d be asking him for more soon, and that’s exactly why he didn’t plan on giving in just yet.
You squeezed his cock at the lack of response, making him meet your eye as you began moving your hand faster. You could just tell by the look he was giving you he was up to something, sighing at him in pleasurable annoyance.
You went even faster, earning a high-pitched whimper from Jeonghan, who still didn’t give you what you asked for.
Agitated, you halted all movement to hook your leg over his hip, pressing your lips against his while starting to grind your cunt against his hard cock.
Jeonghan firmly grabbed your hip, moaning against your lips as he grinded with you.
Your tongue slipped into his warm mouth, your arms encircling his head to keep kissing him.
Annoying, suffocating clothes found the floor, your bodies quick to find each other again after discarding all of the pieces of fabric.
“Fuck,” Jeonghan mumbled against your lips. He squeezed your ass, helping move you against him till the both of you were left panting in each other’s mouths.
“Please, Hannie. M-more,” you moaned at the friction of his length gliding between your pussy lips, his tip rubbing your clit as his balls pressed against your entrance.
Still, Jeonghan wanted to tease you. An image of you crying, begging for his cock haunted his head, and he needed to see that come true with his own eyes right this moment.
“Can’t,” he said between kisses, making you whine.
“Hannie…” you tried again, nibbling on his bottom lip.
Jeonghan smacked your ass hard, gripping your skin as he moved you harder against him. You moaned at the pain and pleasure, your hand finding a lock of his hair to hold onto.
“Y-Yes we can.” you softly tugged on his hair, commanding his attention. You pecked his lips softly, hoping to get what you wanted.
Jeonghan chuckled in amusement, spanking your ass again. “No.” he said, smiling at the hiss leaving your mouth.
He took notice of you getting agitated instead, figuring if he wanted you to cry for him he needed to fuck you to tears instead.
“Hurry, Jeonghan.” you complained in annoyance, having had enough of his games. Jeonghan hummed, giving you a soft kiss before moving a hand down to grab his hard cock. “You’re so needy,” he said in amusement before aligning his tip with your entrance, only getting a breathless sigh in response.
He sheathed himself inside of you in one go, moaning at the feeling of your pussy. Oh, how he’d missed this.
You whimpered at the stretch, hooking your leg tighter around his hip so it wouldn’t slide down.
Jeonghan started kissing you roughly before beginning to thrust, wrapping his arms around you to keep you pinned against his body. You moaned against his lips, gripping his locks for support as you relished in the feeling of him fucking you.
Still, he had this urge to be even closer to you, though he didn’t know how. Jeonghan rolled you on your back, looking into your eyes as he set a slower, much deeper pace.
“Hannie…” you sighed, cupping his cheeks to give him a long kiss. Jeonghan smiled at you when you pulled back, resting his forehead against yours as he kept going.
He suddenly felt the need to be gentle with you, to show you how much you had started to mean to him in such a short period of time. He couldn’t stop looking at your face—at the way your jaw tightened every time he bottomed out, or how your mouth opened and closed autonomously. Your drawn eyebrows twitched with every sound spilling out of you, the sounds like music to his ears.
You wrapped your legs around his waist, your hips stuttering at how deep he was. “Don’t stop,” you moaned, putting your arms around his torso. You bit your lip as you looked up at him, Jeonghan’s fingers slowly stroking up your side before he wrapped his arms around your body too. You looked at each other, room quiet apart from your mixed pleasure, together with the forgotten sounds of the bed creaking. Rhythmic, deep thrusts brought you both closer to the edge, your breathing getting louder as you forgot about the outside world. Or the situation you were in.
As you came around Jeonghan with a guttural moan, he found himself losing control. You pressed your lips to his, nails digging into his back at the peak of your orgasm. Jeonghan spilled inside of you next, holding you tighter with a groan to match yours.
Your body squirmed, hips slowly grinding against him as you came down from your high. You peeled your lips from Jeonghan, who tried to catch his breath as you gave him a smile.
Somewhere there, he contemplated if he’d just made love to you, blinking through his haze. Did he? Did you think so too?
He gave your cheek a peck before rolling off you, feeling your warm body seeking his. “Tired?” he asked, stroking your shoulder. You hummed while nodding, putting the covers over your bodies.
As Jeonghan lay on his back, catching his breath and watching your blinking, tired eyes grow heavier, it suddenly all made sense to him. The stubborn unwillingness to push Soonyoung to ask you out, the selfish need to keep you close for just a tad longer, or the odd knot in his stomach whenever he looked at you.
His eyes found your soft lips, swollen and chapped from kissing you for what felt like hours. Your mouth shyly curled up as you snuggled against him, the soft pads of your fingers stroking his chest before nuzzling your cheek against his arm. Your naked bodies pressed together, seeking closeness despite still feeling hot from the sex.
He felt it as he looked at you. A warm feeling spread through his chest, reaching every corner and crevice of his body.
Jeonghan had fallen for you.
Before he could stop himself he gently lifted up his hand to stroke your cheek, resisting the urge to sigh when your eyes closed instinctively.
He also realized he had been sabotaging your chances with Soonyoung—not intentionally, of course. Or maybe it was.
Fuck, he felt bad. He felt like an asshole for being so selfish. For falling in love with you.
A part of him screamed at him to just keep going like he had been. Just for a little bit. But it felt unfair to you, despite how much he liked spending time with you. It had been so easy making you a part of his life, his routine—as natural as breathing. He didn’t want it to end.
But he knew you were doing this for one reason only. It was his problem he had fallen for you, and from now on he knew he had to help you.
You were amazing, funny, and smart—And Soonyoung would see that too. He knew he would. He had to. And even though Soonyoung had never explicitly brought you up, you were insanely cute.
“Hey, y/nnie?” Jeonghan whispered, secretly hoping you would be already asleep.
“Hm?” you opened one eye before the other, making Jeonghan smile weakly as he started stroking your hair.
He almost couldn’t get the words out, his voice seemingly stuck in his throat. He forced a cough. “Maybe it would be a good idea to ask Soonyoung out yourself,” he suggested, his tone devoid of sincerity.
You blinked at him, your brain barely functioning with how tired you felt.
“Really?” you whispered, failing to hide the frown creasing your brows. The words almost hurt your stomach. Even if you wanted to, you didn’t think you’d have that kind of courage.
“Yeah. I forgot he’s kinda terrible at making the first move. He can be shy like that. He will definitely say yes, though,” Jeonghan nodded, giving you a smile.
Slowly, you nodded too. “I hope so.” you mumbled, making Jeonghan chuckle.
“I know so. Told you he thinks you’re cute,”
“Alright,” a smile slowly spread over your face. Jeonghan did know Soonyoung best, and if he thought it would work then you would at least try to gather your courage.
“Thank you, Hannie.” You kissed Jeonghan’s cheek before closing your eyes again, relaxing against his warm body as he pulled you closer.
You couldn’t help but feel sad it would really be over like this.
After three whole days of contemplating on how to approach Soonyoung, you were at a loss. It also didn’t help that Jeonghan hadn’t texted you at all in the last couple of days, which was unlike him.
You chewed on your bottom lip as you sat outside on a school bench, ignoring the background noise as the people around you went on about their day.
You really missed Jeonghan. And although you realized you had probably only played a small role in his life, and you had only started to get to know him for a short time, you grieved the time you spent together.
You exhaled a long sigh.
It didn’t matter anymore. This had all been for Kwon Soonyoung anyway.
You had spotted him twice in the last few days. Once on campus, and once sitting outside on the same bench you were sitting on now.
You were hoping he would walk by and spot you, and the conversation would flow naturally from there. A part of you was nervous you would actually see him, afraid you’d shut down and not know what to say, make a complete fool of yourself.
At least you’d have your answer then. You could go back to your boring life to study and not go out again in the safe bubble you’d lived in your entire life.
That had been your life, and you were happy with it. But now, the thought of going back to the way things were seemed boring to you.
No, you needed this to work. You were done sabotaging yourself.
All the doubt, the anxiety, the newfound reluctance that had been growing—it was all merely fear of change. Fear of stepping out of your comfort zone—and maybe, even fear of happiness.
This had all been so scary for you, so new and intense. But it would all be worth it soon. You prayed it would be.
“y/n?”
You snapped out of your haze to find Joshua standing in front of you, his lips curled up in a kind smile.
“Oh, Joshua,” you straightened your back and smiled back at him, noticing the black-rimmed glasses sitting on his nose. Jeonghan had once joked about him wearing them as a fashion statement, and you had to stop yourself from suddenly laughing in his face like a freak when you noticed the lack of lenses in them.
Thankfully, Joshua didn’t notice the weird smile showing on your face.
“How are you doing? I heard you’re getting cosy with Jeonghan these days,” he smirked as he sat down next to you.
You shyly chuckled, shrugging. Though Jeonghan had audibly called what you were doing ‘fake dating’, the two of you had never explicitly mentioned the D word to anyone. Just to avoid scaring off Soonyoung.
For some reason you felt bad for lying to Joshua. You felt like you had genuinely connected with him at the party, and though you hadn’t spent much time with him outside of that one night, you had this urge to tell him the truth.
He wasn’t just Soonyoung or Jeonghan’s friend anymore, he felt a little like yours too. You trusted him.
“It’s nothing,” you told him with a sigh, still pondering on what to do. Maybe a fresh perspective could give you some insight. You kinda needed someone to talk to about this, and what you and Jeonghan did was in the past now anyways.
“Oh? Sure doesn’t seem like nothing with those raunchy hickeys Jeonghan was walking around with the other day.” Joshua had a mischievous twinkle in his eye, and for a split second you could see Jeonghan in him. Maybe that's why you felt like you could be honest with him.
Your face heated up, trying to suppress a smile as Joshua grinned at you.
“Joshua, can I…tell you something? And promise it stays between us two?”
Joshua cocked up his brow in curiosity, but nodded nonetheless. “Of course,” he told you.
You let out a deep sigh. “Jeonghan is helping me get with Soonyoung,” you said carefully, afraid of what Joshua might think. “It’s just for show, or whatever.” you added, watching Joshua cross his arms over his chest.
“You’re not really together?” he asked, making you hum.
“So it’s all for Soonyoung? It’s him you like?” he frowned, and you nodded at him.
“Gosh, and here I thought Jeonghan finally stopped hiding that thing he had for you,” Joshua chuckled, shaking his head. You frowned at him. “Guess I was wrong,” he sighed with a smile.
“What thing?” you leaned into him, cocking your head to the side.
Joshua paused for a moment, blinking. “You know, the teasing in class, trying to get your reaction,” he explained as if you were aware he had actually been targeting you.
“What do you mean? He never teased me.” you frowned.
Joshua laughed at that. “Sure he did. He talked about you a lot, you know. How he loved getting a reaction out of you. You really never noticed?”
You pouted, confused. “I mean, he did annoy me. But I didn’t think it was targeted to me. I don’t think it was.”
Joshua laughed again, his eyes turning smaller as he did. “It definitely was,” he told you in amusement. “I always suspected he had a little crush on you, but he would never admit it to me. Just said he liked teasing you,” Joshua shrugged. “Guess I was wrong, since he’s helping you with Soonyoung.”
Slowly, you nodded. “Right,” you agreed. But there was an odd feeling in the pit of your stomach thinking about the concept of Jeonghan having a ‘thing’ for you.
“You sure looked convincing, though. I’ll give you that. You’ve got everyone fooled.”
His words didn’t reassure you like you had hoped they would. You and Jeonghan needed to look like you were into each other, but not too much. Because would Soonyoung really give you a chance if he thought Jeonghan and you were serious?
“What do you think I should do? Maybe this whole thing has gone too far already,” you chewed on your bottom lip, panic seeping through your body. You should’ve stopped after making out with Jeonghan. And you really shouldn’t have had sex with him. The speculation alone would be dangerous for your potential with Soonyoung.
Joshua put his hand on your shoulder. “I wouldn’t worry too much, y/n. Just go hang out with Soonyoung? If it feels good go ask him out.”
You sighed. “Alright,” you nodded. “I will.”
Joshua chuckled and pushed himself up, fixing the strap of his leather crossbody bag before briefly looking down at his phone to check the time.
“I’ve got to run. Tell me how it went?” he cocked up his brow.
“Okay.” you smiled a little. “Thanks, Joshua,”
Joshua winked at you, turning his body before quickly stopping himself and looking back at you again.
“Oh, and y/n?” he failed to hide a grin. “Try not to sleep with your fake boyfriend.”
You didn’t know how to react as he walked off theatrically.
As days passed, and you found yourself making more and more ridiculous excuses as to not approach Soonyoung, a sudden golden opportunity fell right in the palm of your hands.
Maybe you manifested it, since you hadn’t stopped daydreaming about all the different ways the talk you’d inevitably needed to have would turn out.
You were listening to some music as you did some minor grocery shopping, the basket in your hand filled with an array of fruits, vegetables, and a scandalous amount of snacks to balance everything out.
There was a soft tap on your shoulder, and you quickly turned around expecting you’d been in someone’s way, but instead saw Soonyoung’s chubby cheeks bulge in a cute way as he smiled at you.
You think you preferred the term God’s intervention.
“Hi,” you smiled shyly after taking out your earbuds.
“Hey! What’re you doing here?” Soonyoung giggled, clutching a protein bar in his hand.
You paused briefly. “Grocery shopping?” you said slowly, earning a laugh from the boy.
“Right. Of course.” Soonyoung laughed, peeking in your basket. “Cooking something tonight?”
You nodded. “That’s the plan. I just needed some vegetables for my stir-fry,” you chuckled.
“I wish I could cook. I’m banned from the kitchen,” Soonyoung scratched behind his ear, pouting.
You laughed at that. “Did you set off the fire alarm or something?”
“Twice...”
You laughed again, making Soonyoung smile. “You should cook for me sometime! Maybe I can learn from you.” he chuckled, and the request alone made your ears burn. Was he…?
“Y-yeah—Sure. I’m a good teacher,” you told him, and you suddenly noticed Soonyoung was wearing his football uniform.
“Oh. Do you have a game today?” The two of you slowly made your way to the cash register, chatting as you put your groceries on the conveyor belt.
“Yep. I’m about the head there right now,” he explained, waiting for you as you paid for your stuff. “You remember how we used to play together in elementary school?”
You chuckled at the memory as you walked out of the store together, reliving one of those moments in a very long time.
“The teacher didn’t allow me to play anymore at one point,” you smiled innocently, watching Soonyoung laugh out loud as he remembered exactly why.
“Yeah, because you would always kick the ball over the fence after losing.” he giggled, making you laugh as well.
“I was a sore loser,” you admitted with a shrug, smiling as you walked together. You briefly recognized how easy your conversation flowed with Soonyoung. Maybe you’d be able to muster up your courage after all.
“If you won’t throw our ball anymore, we can play again sometime,” Soonyoung suggested, making your stomach jump.
“Sure,” you replied in kind, as if you didn’t struggle to keep yourself from stuttering.
You made eye contact with Soonyoung, who smiled at you. You smiled back at him, but the corners of your mouth slowly started faltering as you realized you had to finally ask him out. You could faintly hear the yelling of a group of younger boys as you approached the football field, and you knew you had to act fast before it would already be too late.
“Hey, Soonyoung?” you called out his name a bit insecure, slowing your steps to fully get his attention on you.
Soonyoung lifted up his brows with that same smile, slowing down to match your pace, which came to an abrupt halt.
“Um,” you gulped. You took in a breath. “Do you… Would you like to go on a date—with me?” you inhaled deeply, trying to slow your breathing. You bit your bottom lip, already cursing yourself for your choice of words. Did you ask at the wrong time? Should you have asked differently?
When Soonyoung’s smile faded, and a confused expression took over his handsome face, you started rambling, “I mean—I’ve liked you since we were kids and—and—If you don’t like me like that then that’s fine too. I-I just thought—“
“y/n,” Soonyoung cut you off abruptly, placing his hand on your shoulder.
“You’re a very nice girl,” he started. You already knew what would follow.
“And you’re truly great, like really—“ Soonyoung paused before sighing. “I’m sorry y/n. I’m kinda seeing someone…” he said quietly, and by his tone you could tell he genuinely felt bad.
Slowly, you nodded at him. “Ah,” you forced a smile. “No worries.” you chuckled, but really you wanted to throw up.
“I’m sorry…” Soonyoung told you again, almost pouting.
“No—no, it’s alright,” you nodded again, not really knowing what to do next. You felt like you still wanted to ask him one thing, just so you wouldn’t spend months pondering on the what if’s.
“Did I ever have a chance?” you asked cautiously, knowing you probably wouldn’t like the answer.
Soonyoung blinked at the question, caught off guard. He looked down for a moment, seemingly thinking about the question before ultimately shaking his head, slowly.
You nodded understandingly. “Okay… Well, thank you for being honest, Soonyoung,” you briefly smiled at him, clearing your throat before speaking again, “I’ll see you around. Have a good game, okay?” you watched him nod apologetically before turning to walk away, chewing on the inside of your cheek as you started walking.
It wasn’t how you’d imagined heartbreak to be. It wasn't like your heart was breaking into a million pieces, you just felt…empty.
Tears welled in the corners of your eyes, fingers instinctively starting to reach for your phone before stopping yourself. You sniffled as you realized you had no shoulder to cry on anymore, a pitiful sob shaking your chest as you remembered Jeonghan had left you on delivered for a week.
There was purpose in your step as you made your way straight to the fraternity, not caring about any odd looks you were getting as you cried.
You merely wiped your face once before ringing the doorbell, trying and failing to slow your excessive breathing as you waited for the door to open.
The door swung open with a creak, revealing Mingyu with a smile on his face. “y/n!—Oh, what’s wro-“
“Where is he?” you sniffled, not waiting for an answer as you walked straight past Mingyu’s tall frame to Jeonghan’s bedroom.
You decided against knocking, opening the door to find Jeonghan laying on his bed scrolling on his phone. He lifted his head at the sound of the door opening, eyes widening as you walked in with wet cheeks.
“Where have you been?” you asked rather aggressively, eyebrows tightened as you tried to keep yourself from breaking down completely. Your lips trembled, walking up to Jeonghan who pushed himself to take in your current state.
“y/nnie… what’s wrong?” he asked, quickly getting up from the bed before your fist weakly collided against his chest.
“Why are you ignoring me?” you cried, fresh tears beginning to stream down your face. “I-I needed you and you disappeared,” you sobbed when Jeonghan’s arms pulled you in, hiding your face against his chest as he stroked your back comfortingly.
“I’m sorry…” Jeonghan whispered, kissing your temple before sighing.
You closed your eyes, holding him tightly as his familiar embrace warmed your body.
Jeonghan felt your body shake against his as you cried, pressing his cheek against your hair as his hand found your locks. “I’m sorry…” he said again, his chest burning painfully at the state you were in.
“He likes someone else.” you told him after a beat of silence.
Jeonghan sighed, softly shaking his head at what you were telling him. He felt horrible now, blaming himself for everything. For giving your false hope, for building up you confidence—only to watch it all crumble down before his own eyes. This wouldn’t have happened if he hadn’t been selfish.
“Fuck, y/n—I’m so sorry…” he apologized again, tightening his grip on you.
You sniffled, shaking your head. “‘s not your fault, Jeonghan.” you whispered, only making him feel worse.
If you only knew, Jeonghan thought. He should’ve never approached you back then. He’d spend time reflecting on his actions in the last few days as he kept his distance from you, knowing that deep down it had all been for his own self-gain. Annoying you, approaching you at the party. All along this had been about you and him, even if he didn’t realize exactly how much he liked you before he even offered to help you.
“It’s fine,” you concluded, sighing as you tried to stop yourself from crying. “It’s nothing new,” you croaked out, your voice breaking as you failed to stop the sob spilling out of you.
“Shh, ducky,” Jeonghan grabbed your cheeks to meet his eyes, wiping your wet cheeks with his thumbs as he looked at you. You gulped, tears brimming your pretty eyes.
“Can I please stay?” you whispered, fishing his shirt as you looked at him pleadingly. Jeonghan nodded, pushing his forehead against yours as he closed his eyes. “Of course, baby,” he sighed before pulling away from you.
Seeing you cry like this felt like a dagger to his chest. He wished nothing more than to take away your pain.
“You look so tired, ducky,” Jeonghan said while looking at you, wiping away another stray tear with his knuckle before nodding to his bed. “Take a nap, okay? Do you need anything? I can make you tea, or some snacks—“
“Just hold me, Hannie. Please?” you grabbed his hand, afraid he’d leave you.
Jeonghan nodded, giving you a weak smile as you crawled into bed together.
You sighed as you got comfortable against his chest, his warm arms already making you feel better. You nuzzled your cheek against him, resting your arm over his waist.
You smiled when Jeonghan looked at you, smiling back at you as he stroked your hair. You couldn’t help but laugh, the corners of Jeonghan’s mouth tugging up as he watched you. “What are you laughing at, weirdo?” he softly squeezed your cheek.
“I don’t know…” you admitted, your eyes feeling heavier as your exhaustion grew.
“Go sleep, okay?” Jeonghan whispered, making you nod.
You closed your eyes, softly sniffling as you became even more tired. You’d occasionally open your eyes to see Jeonghan looking back at you, your body becoming heavier as the minutes passed.
“Hannie?” you whispered tiredly after a while, fighting to keep your eyes open as he cocked up his eyebrows.
“Don’t leave again.” you told him, closing your eyes when he gently began to stroke your cheek.
Jeonghan smiled sadly as he watched you sleep, your soft snores painfully familiar. He really didn’t deserve you.
He didn’t know if he could keep promise what you were asking him, not when he had been the cause of your sadness.
“How many times are you going to keep checking your phone?” Joshua crossed his arms over his chest as he leaned against the lockers, grinning when you glared at him.
“I thought he would come today,” you pocketed your phone before starting to walk to your next class, Joshua humming next to you.
“I don’t know, he seems off lately,” Joshua shrugged, making you frown.
“He wasn’t at our project meeting today,” you pouted, resisting the urge to check your phone again. Thankfully Jeonghan wasn’t ignoring your messages anymore after seeing him, but that didn’t mean things were back to the way they were. Joshua was right, Jeonghan did seem off.
“How was that? You know, seeing Soonyoung,” Joshua asked carefully.
You bit your lip as you thought before shrugging. “It was fine.” you said casually, making Joshua cock up a brow.
“Really? You’re not, like, upset still?” you stopped walking once you reached your classroom, cocking your head to the side as you looked at Joshua. You then shrugged again.
“Not really…” you trailed off, pouting. “I feel oddly okay,” you nodded, giving Joshua a smile. Joshua hummed, not totally convinced. “Right,” he said, thinking.
Truth is, you felt… good. As though a weight had been lifted from your shoulders. You also didn’t really understand why, maybe you were still in denial, but you felt like you could finally start to let go of Soonyoung.
Joshua’s eyes strayed behind you when he spotted a figure resembling Jeonghan from the corner of his eye, watching his friend meet his eye before walking off without greeting him. Strange.
You followed his line of vision, looking over your shoulder to see Jeonghan’s back turning around the corner.
“Oh,” you said, perking up to give Joshua a quick look. “See you later, alright?” you told him before going to follow Jeonghan.
Joshua watched you jog to catch up to Jeonghan, sighing with a smile as you disappeared from his vision.
“Jeonghan!” you called once you got close to him, smiling as he turned to you, seemingly caught off guard.
“Hey. You weren’t at our meeting today,” you said, adjusting your bag that had slipped down from the short jog.
“Oh, y/n,” he cleared his throat awkwardly, making you frown. “I didn’t feel like coming,” he explained, his odd tone only leaving you more confused.
“Oh, well, we could really use your help next time. It’s kinda messy without you there,” you chuckled, smiling at him.
Jeonghan didn’t smile back at you, avoiding eye contact as he slowly opened his mouth to speak, “Listen, y/n… I’m—I’m dropping from the project,” he looked at you for a second, mumbling a ‘sorry’ before turning to enter the men’s restroom.
His words felt like a knife to the heart. “What?” you mumbled, gulping as he disappeared again. You were starting to believe you were dumb to trust Jeonghan. Maybe this was all a game for his own entertainment after all, because why else would he just drop you like this? Right after you asked out Soonyoung? The timing of it all was odd.
Anger bubbled up inside of you, shaking your head before following him inside. “What is your deal?” you spat, your jaw clenching as you watched him splash cold water in his face.
Jeonghan looked at you through the mirror before turning with a sigh. “Nothing. I just—“
“Why are you lying to me?” you asked, trying your best not to cry in front of him. Your chest burned, making fists of your hands as you watched him blink dumbly.
“I’m not lying, y/n.” Jeonghan raised his voice, only making you angrier.
“Yes you are. Why are you being like this?” you gulped, afraid you weren’t able to hold your tears for much longer.
“I thought we were friends.” you said quietly, your voice breaking.
Jeonghan swallowed a lump in his throat.
“Was all the time we spent together just a lie?” you felt a tear run down your cheek, all your fears swirling around inside of you. You couldn’t help but feel like you’d lost the only thing that had made you feel so alive these past few weeks.
Jeonghan’s face hardened, his jaw tensing hearing your words. He took a step closer to you, grabbing your underarm.
“I like you, y/n.” he said, the words making your stomach drop.
“Can’t you see?” he added quietly.
You didn’t know what to say, the noise in your head and the way Jeonghan was looking at you overwhelming you. You took a step back, slowly shaking your head as you made sense of it all. The lights in the bathroom were too bright, the sounds of the people in the hallway too loud. You could hear your heart pounding out of your chest and you wondered if Jeonghan could hear it too—you needed to leave.
Jeonghan took a step forward again, not ready to let you go before finally laying his heart bare. “Stop having a crush on Soonyoung.” he whispered pleadingly, softly grabbing your hand in his. Your breath hitched.
“And come back to me.” his frustration softened into a plea, big eyes plagued with vulnerability as he waited for your reaction.
You can’t do this.
You pulled your hand away, not saying a word as you rushed out of the bathroom, leaving Jeonghan by himself.
Tears clouded your vision, your head spinning and mind running as you rushed home. You couldn’t help but wonder if this had been the whole reason Jeonghan had offered to help you with Soonyoung. A part of you told yourself Jeonghan wasn’t that kind of person, yet you couldn’t confidently say you wouldn't have done the same.
What did he even see in you? For how long had he liked you? And was he ever even helping you?
You hid under the covers in your bed, the warmth of the blanket comforting you a bit as you cried soundlessly. Why didn’t you feel angry?
Maybe it had something to do with you not being upset after getting rejected by Soonyoung.
Did you even really want Soonyoung? Or maybe you just liked the idea of being wanted by someone.
You exhaled a shaky breath, hugging your pillow to your chest. You were so confused by everything. You knew you should feel some kind of way about this—whether it be anger or resentment—but the only thing you really wanted was to be hanging out with Jeonghan again. You imagined how things were before they all went wrong—talking, laughing for hours. Falling asleep next to him.
His absence had hollowed you out these past few days. Soonyoung had never made you feel special. But Jeonghan… Jeonghan saw you. Everything you’d been longing for had been so easy for him to give.
Maybe if you hadn’t been so wrapped up in the idea of liking Soonyoung, you would’ve seen what was in front of you all along. Maybe if this whole thing hadn’t started as a lie, your feelings would’ve been easier to untangle. But the one thing you couldn’t ignore was that you couldn’t lose Jeonghan.
The sky had darkened once you finally forced yourself out of your bed, dried tears decorating your cheeks as you rumbled through your bag to snatch your laptop. Maybe some trashy reality tv would help distract you.
As you lifted the laptop, a familiar object tumbled on the floor, rolling until it stilled in front of you.
You lip twitched seeing your duck pen, your stomach twisting painfully. You bend down to pick it up, looking at it for a moment before taking in a sharp breath, lifting your arm to launch it straight against the wall with a pitiful whine.
“Woah! What the hell?” Jaehee stood in the opened doorway with a puzzled look on her face, taking a second to evaluate the current state she’d found you in before slowly closing the door behind her.
“What’s going on in here? Are you okay?” she pouted before engulfing you in a tight hug. You shook your head, sighing and resting your face against her shoulder.
“Talk to me.” she whispered, rubbing your back.
“You’ll think I’m crazy,” you sighed.
“I just paid a witch to curse Mingyu. I can handle crazy,” Jae let go of you to sit down on the bed with you, grinning at the cackle leaving your mouth.
“Fuck—okay,” you rubbed your face. “Long story short: Jeonghan and I were never a thing. It was all a ploy to get Soonyoung. I asked him out a couple of days ago but he rejected me—“ Knowing how long you’d liked Soonyoung for, Jaehee already started pouting. “—But I’m fine—Oh, and Jeonghan just told me he likes me and then I ran away.” you finish with a sigh, making Jae’s eyes widen in surprise at the sudden twist.
“That’s a lot to unpack,” she started, looking at you. “I don’t suppose you’re throwing stuff because you don’t like him back and feel incredibly sorry for it?” she asked almost sarcastically, crossing her arms over her chest.
You sighed and shook your head.
“So you do like him? Then what’s the problem?”
You blinked at her. “I… I don’t know,” you frowned, looking down at your lap. “It’s not that simple.”
Jae raised a brow. “What’s not simple? You like him, he likes you. Where’s the disaster in that?”
“You make it sound so easy,” you muttered.
She let out a breath, then softened, reaching for your hand. “y/n, you really need to stop thinking so much.” A small smile tugged at her lips.
You sighed. “It’s just—I don’t think I allowed myself to feel what I felt when I was with Jeonghan. I pushed it away, convinced myself all of those feelings were fake since they were supposed to be. What if I give it a shot and find out I was right?”
“You’re too stuck in your own head. I’ve seen the two of you. You can’t fake the way you look at each other—unless you’re both Oscar-worthy actors, which I seriously doubt,” she chuckled.
You bit your lip, slowly nodding.
“Well, text him.” Jaehee bumped her shoulder against yours, your chest tightening at the thought of Jeonghan. Your face grew hot.
“Text him to come over,” she encouraged you, the corners of her mouth lifting up. You shifted on the bed, pouting as you thought it over.
Jae sighed at your apprehension and pulled out her phone, her nails tapping against the screen as she typed.
“What are you doing?” you asked meekly, watching your friend turn off her phone with a satisfied expression on her face. “He’ll be here soon.” she only told you, her hands resting in her lap demurely.
You blinked in surprise. “Huh?” you frowned. “Wha-What did you just send him?” you tried to reach for her phone, but Jaehee hastily got up from your bed moving her finger at you disapprovingly. “Nah-ah,” she sang, barely making an effort to hide the smirk on her face.
“Jae.” you warned her, pushing yourself up slowly.
“It’s nothing bad, promise! I just let him know that I can’t find you anywhere and your location is turned off,” she shrugged, making you gasp.
“That’s not nothing!” you raised your voice, crossing your arms over your chest with a sigh.
Jaehee exhaled a breath, giving you a smile as she hugged you again. “Don’t panic. Don’t you deserve to figure out what you’re really feeling?” she whispered, patting your head. You knew she was right. You nodded.
“Remember how it felt being his friend and just go from there,” she created some space between your bodies to look at you, smiling when you whispered a soft ‘okay.’
The two of you gave each other a look at the sound of a notification, reading Jeonghan’s ‘omw now’ message together.
“He won’t take long,” Jae told you, making you inhale a sharp breath. “I’ll meet him at the door, okay? Just—Just wait here, y/n.” she said, looking at you for a second before starting to leave your bedroom.
The room fell quiet after that, your nerves buzzing louder than anything else. You couldn’t sit still, shifting on the bed as your mind raced. Every second felt like forever—until a knock sounded at the door.
“y/n?!” Jeonghan rushed inside with a panicked look on his face, eyebrows drawn with a pair of big eyes meeting yours. “Are you okay?” he sighed, visibly relaxing at the sight of you unharmed.
You gulped, looking at him for a moment before abruptly getting up. You hastily grabbed the duck pencil from the floor and shoved it into his hand.
“I don’t want this back.” you said firmly, your jaw clenching as you looked at him with manic eyes.
He froze, staring at the object in his palm with confusion before lifting his gaze to you. Your anger faltered when you met his eyes, his pretty face making your own features soften despite yourself.
You gave him a small, sad smile.
“Hannie…” you whispered, tears burning in the corners of your eyes.
Your lip shook, pushing your face against his chest before you could stop yourself.
“I told you to never leave me again…” you mumbled, smiling at his familiar, comforting scent despite your tears. You put your arms around his body, embracing him tightly. “Please don’t…” you looked up at him, vulnerability creeping in at what you were saying.
Jeonghan only looked at you, his pink lips slightly ajar before meeting together in a subtle pout.
You realized it then, how oblivious you had been this entire time. How you needed Jeonghan as much as you needed air. How much you couldn’t live without him—and, finally, how much you loved him.
“y/n…” Jeonghan whispered, really hoping he wasn’t wrong about what you were getting at.
Your lips curled up in a smile, softly cupping his cheeks before pulling him down to meet your lips with his. Jeonghan gasped against your mouth, wrapping his arms around your waist to pull you as close as he could have you.
You bit your lip shyly when you finally pulled away, seeing Jeonghan smile back at you in a way that made your chest tighten.
“I like you too, Hannie,” you said softly, reaching for his hand to link your fingers together. Jeonghan’s eyes shrunk as he smiled at you, keeping his free arm wrapped around you to keep you pressed close against him.
“You like me, ducky?” he asked dumbfounded, squeezing your hand in his.
You shyly looked away, your smile growing wider as you nodded. “Yes…yes I do…” you told him, your face burning when you looked at him again.
“I didn’t even want to think about Soonyoung, because—because you were there. I didn’t want our time to end, Jeonghan.” you whispered, frowning. “The thought of losing you… I couldn’t do it. I just need you.” you confessed, gulping nervously.
Jeonghan giggled hearing your words, leaning in to kiss you hard. “Fuck, I’m such an idiot. I should’ve just asked you out from the start.” he breathed, pecking your lips again.
He pulled away to look at you, a hint of vulnerability creeping in his big eyes. “You really like me?” he asked again, his lips curling up in a shy smile as he looked at you expectantly.
You gently stroked his cheeks, your body tingling as you nodded. Looking at him, you couldn’t believe this was actually happening.
“Yes, Hannie.” You sighed, your heart beating out of your chest.
Jeonghan hugged you tightly, and somehow you were starting to feel emotional—the feeling reminded you of the first time he had held you in his bedroom. It felt as if you were coming home to a warm home after a long rainy day. It felt like drinking your favorite brand of coffee after a vacation, or having a dream you didn’t want to wake up from.
You closed your eyes and listened to his heartbeat, slowly calming down from all of the adrenaline.
You suddenly remembered what Joshua had told you, breaking the silence with a sudden silent laugh.
“Hm?” Jeonghan stroked your hair, smiling as he imagined what you could be thinking of.
“Did you try to annoy me on purpose? I mean—In class?” you pulled back to look at Jeonghan’s face, watching him blink at you in confusion before slowly grinning mischievously.
“Of course. Loved to see how many angry looks I could get from you,” he smiled, making you tsk. “I think I already kinda liked you back then, even if I didn’t realize,” he admitted with a chuckle. “You were always so polite. Even if you were shy you would smile at everyone,” his smile widened as he imagined it in his head.
“You really got on my nerves.” you hit his arm, making him only smile wider.
“Yeah?” he teased you, wrapping his arms around your shoulders before giving you a kiss.
“So you don’t want me to stay?” he asked, cocking his head to the side with a playful smile.
You tried to hide how giddy you felt, your cheeks burning at his question.
“Well, ducky?” he prodded, half teasing, half hoping you’d give him the green light.
You got close enough to kiss him again, feeling Jeonghan sigh against your lips as you slowly pushed him back on the bed with you.
The kiss deepened until all you could taste was him, warm and steady, the kind of sweetness that was becoming harder to imagine ever living without. Hands groped and lingered, yanking down fabric until the heat radiating off your bodies mixed together.
Jeonghan rolled on top of you, taking his time kissing you from your lips down to your belly button as his eyes admired the sight of you. You bit your lip feeling his tongue lick a slow stripe on your upper thigh before inching down to your pussy, softly gasping when his warm tongue found your clit.
Despite you not talking, you could feel that warm energy filling up the room, consuming you whole as Jeonghan savored you. You knew he felt it too, gentle fingertips brushing against your sides, hazed eyes watching you gasp and moan attentively.
Your body writhed feeling him go faster, biting your lip as your tummy burned. Before you would find yourself lost in the deep end, your shaky hand reached for Jeonghan’s to stop him.
If you were gonna cum, you wanted to do so with him. You needed him as close as you could have him, cupping his cheeks to bring him on top of you.
“Yeah?” Jeonghan whispered against your mouth in the middle of a kiss, making you nod. “Yeah.” you answered, pecking his lips as you looked in his eyes.
Jeonghan glided his tip over your entrance, collecting your wetness before slowly inching in, stretching you deliciously before bottoming out.
“God,” Jeonghan breathed, pushing his lips against yours with an almost desperate plea while slowly starting to grind against you.
You moaned fruitlessly when he set a faster pace, making Jeonghan echo your sounds at the way you were squeezing his cock. “C’mere,” he sighed, moving your legs over his thighs to feel you even deeper. Jeonghan linked your fingers together, pinning them down on the mattress as he licked into you.
“Hannie,” you squeezed his hands, feeling the muscles in your body tighten. You think you could already cum like this, closer to him than you’ve ever been.
Jeonghan nodded, sucking on your bottom lip hard enough to form a bruise. All you could hear were your breaths and whimpers, and all you could feel was the closeness you shared.
“Cum, baby. Cum for me?” he asked breathlessly, going faster again. You let out a loud moan, nodding in agreement as the sound of skin slapping echoed through the room.
“Fuck.” you whimpered, squirming against him as pleasure overtook you. You moaned again as you came around his cock, feeling Jeonghan’s warmth erupt inside of you as your walls clenched around him fruitlessly.
Your head spun, Jeonghan’s whimpers falling on deaf ears before grounding you with a soft kiss.
“I love you.” Jeonghan whispered out of breath, blinking as he looked at you with big eyes.
A shy smile spread over your face, your chest tightening at the words coming out of his mouth.
“I love you.” you whispered back, feeling as if this moment weren’t real.
Jeonghan’s lips curved up into the smallest, almost disbelieving smile before he hid his face in the crook of your neck. He gently let go of your hands to embrace you instead, peppering kisses on your shoulder.
“You’re mine now—for real this time.” Jeonghan said, lifting his head to look at you again. A smirk tugged at his features, humming at the smiley, almost shy nod you gave him.
“My girlfriend,” he giggled sweetly, giving your cheek a kiss.
“My ducky.” he whispered, nuzzling his forehead against yours.
“Hannie…” you laughed, but you couldn’t contain the smile playing on your lips.
Somewhere through the quiet whispers and hours of laughter you realized you didn’t feel alone anymore. You didn’t feel unlovable—you felt wanted, like every stolen kiss and every teasing joke was stitching something whole inside of you, something you had once believed could never belong to you.
OH MY GOODDD I loved reading this! I wouldn’t have expected Jeonghan to like YN back or at least be the mirror of how yn wanted to get soonyoung attention! And all of yn and hannie’s moments were so fluffy it’s so cute I enjoyed reading this!
You knew whatever you and Jeonghan were doing wasn’t real—not really. But a part of you had started to wonder. You could feel that same warmth you’d come to resent starting to bloom, and it scared you.
pairing jeonghan x f!reader word count 24.2k tags non-idol au, college au, fake dating, enemies? to friends to lovers, humor, angst, jealousy, conflict, jeonghan being a menace, pet names, dom!jeonghan, sub!reader, teasing, a lot of making out, dry humping, fingering, big!dick jeonghan, unprotected sex, riding, missionary, hickeys, creampies, cock warming, multiple smut scenes, grinding, spanking, mention of dacryphilia, love making warnings smut, cursing, alcohol, mentions of smoking
thank you @sanaxo-o @nerdycheol for beta reading ♡
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You were always intimidated by Yoon Jeonghan. From the moment you first saw him in class you could tell he thought everyone was below him. The way he paraded around campus with that shit-eating grin on his face, perfect pink lips always knowing just what to say. His brown eyes seemed to always seek you out for some reason, as if he purposely wanted to get on your nerves.
So, right there and then, before even having spoken a single word to him, you decided to avoid him at all costs.
You didn’t pay him any mind for the rest of the year, blocking him out whenever you happened to catch sight of him, or whenever you heard his stupid voice in any of the shared classes you were in.
It isn’t until the second year or college that you’re forced to interact with him for the first time, being grouped together for an assignment.
Now if that wasn’t bad, you curse your luck once you realize one of the other guys in your group happened to be your lifelong crush out of all people, the loud Kwon Soonyoung.
You didn’t even know he’d been taking the same class as you, as for you hadn’t even seen him once since the start of the semester.
The worst part of it all is finding out he and Jeonghan seemed to be the best of friends, laughing amongst themselves as they entered the study hall. The last guy, Lee Seokmin, jogged behind them to catch up to them, a wide smile on his face whilst hitting Soonyoung’s shoulder.
Just great. He was a part of their little clique as well.
You'd walked into the study hall almost confidently, thinking you were adult enough to deal with Yoon Jeonghan. But Soonyoung? Your stomach churned with anxiety.
Soonyoung's eyes lit up as soon as he saw you, catching you off guard with a sudden, friendly hug.
"You know y/n?" Seokmin cocked up his eyebrows, watching his older friend nearly crush a seemingly random girl from class.
"Of course! We went to elementary and middle school together." he smiled, finally letting go of you. You hoped they couldn’t tell just how flustered the embrace had made you, your eyes blinking as you tried to regain composure.
“What a crazy coincidence! I didn’t know we’re going to the same college,” Soonyoung chuckled, shrugging off his backpack before mindlessly taking a seat next to you.
You almost pouted at his words. Whilst you were very aware of his presence, Soonyoung didn’t seem to have been aware of yours.
“Yeah, crazy.” you laughed it off, trying not to sound too awkward. “I didn’t know you were in this class…” you trailed off, blindly opening your laptop.
Seokmin exhaled an amused breath. “Because he skips all his classes.” he said, taking a seat next to Soonyoung.
“Hey, not all… I just hate Business Management.” the boy sighed, pouting as he rummaged through his worn down backpack.
You fought a smile hearing them banter, shyly looking down at your laptop screen.
"Alright, if the little reunion is over let's just start and get this over with, hm?" Jeonghan grumbled, forced to sit on the other side of you.
You tried not to roll your eyes, the two others simply humming in agreement.
It took a near hour to decide on a solid plan, taking note of all the important topics and details. The dynamic between the group of friends had you surprisingly amused to say the least, catching yourself chuckling along to the little jabs the friends aimed at each other.
"Okay, so, Seokmin," Jeonghan pointed his pen at him. "You will pick a company to help us with formulating three products." his pen moved to Soonyoung. "You'll design the logo of our website and the color scheme."
The ball point pen moved to you now. "y/n, you'll design our website. Just pick some template on one of those website builders. Make it look pretty, but please, no pink." he sighed.
Your lips pressed together, feeling slightly agitated at his words. Make it look pretty, you're sure he was aware of how condescending he sounded, not even acknowledging the fact your major was software development.
"What will you do, hyung?" Soonyoung asked, and you were more than curious to know this too.
Jeonghan clicked his pen, looking over at his friend.
"I'll set up the meetings, oversee all your work and help where help is needed." he said, slumping in his chair. You resisted the urge to roll your eyes.
The two others seemed content with his answer. You didn’t argue with that, not having the energy over some stupid class you didn’t even care for.
"Alright then." Seokmin clapped his hands together loudly, earning the attention of a few other students in the study hall. "Since Jeonghan hyung seems in such a rush to leave, let's meet up again next week?" he asked. You nodded, grabbing your backpack to put away your stuff.
"I'll make a group chat." Seokmin added, looking over to you briefly. You hummed, giving him a small smile of acknowledgement.
Jeonghan left first, and you walked out the study hall with the two other boys by your side.
"Oh my god, I'm so happy to see you!" Soonyoung nudged your shoulder lightly, gripping the straps of his backpack while he walked with you. You chuckled shyly. "Yeah, me too."
You chose not to tell him how you’ve seen him around campus countless times, feeling like a bit of a loser at the way you’d been keeping your eye on him like a young girl with a schoolgirl crush—and in a way you were just that.
"We should hang out! Do you live on campus?" he asked. You made eye contact with him, smiling at his question. "I’m over at the sorority. Are you guys in the fraternity together?"
The boys nodded. "We all are." Seokmin told you.
"You should come to the party tomorrow, it'll be fun!" Soonyoung said.
You'd sworn off drinking a while ago, not wanting it to get in the way of your studies, yet the offer sounded convincing enough, and the thought of getting closer to Soonyoung made your chest thump.
"Ahh, come on! Don't tell me you've never been to one of our parties before." Soonyoung grinned when you paused, fully turning his body to you.
A laugh escaped your mouth. "Well, I haven't. But... since you asked," you flashed him a smile, their sounds of approval hitting your ears.
"Perfect! We'll see you there, y/n." Seokmin smiled.
Your friend sneaked an arm around your waist, pulling you into her body while the two of you walked to the fraternity a few blocks over.
"I can't believe you're finally coming with me!" Your best friend Jaehee declared loudly. She squeezed your hip. "You have to see Mingyu tonight, he's so fucking fine. We’ve been texting for days now!"
You rolled your eyes playfully, not too keen on meeting one of her flings again.
When the two of you entered the fraternity, the notorious ΙΖ', you were immediately greeted by the luring smell of alcohol and weed. The large body of people were scattered all around the extensive common room, most grouped together chatting with their respective friends in the open space between the kitchen and living room.
Your face scrunched a bit trying to adjust to the loud music, your friend immediately dragging you to a corner where a group was hanging out.
"Jae!" the loud voices greeted your friend excitedly, the tallest of them instinctively putting an arm around her.
She welcomed them with a smile, moving to pull you right next to her. "Guys, this is y/n!” she grinned. “y/n, this is Mingyu," she looked at the handsome boy next to her before pointing to the others. "Joshua, Eunwoo and Jeonghan." You made eye contact with Jeonghan, his big eyes already staring back at you.
"Hi y/n, it’s nice to meet you. Did you finally decide to join us?" Joshua smiled, giving your shoulder a small squeeze. You met his gaze, his sweet eyes resembling those of crescent moons as he smiled at you.
You didn’t know whether to feel thankful your friend had seemingly been so openly talking about you, but you were happy you were being welcomed so warmly. You returned his smile, nodding before speaking, "Yeah... It looks like you got quite the party here." you chuckled.
"I told you it'd be fun!" Jaehee lighty shoved you, a loud voice suddenly interrupting your conversation.
"Hey! You made it!" Soonyoung squeezed between you and Joshua, a smile on his sweet face while he settled his gaze on you. Your body instantly became warm, and you swallowed a lump in your throat not knowing what to say. You could tell by the flush on his cheeks he was a few drinks ahead of you.
"Let's take a shot!" he exclaimed happily, handing you a full shot glass you hadn’t seen him hold before. His gaze turned a bit more serious as if he realized something, hectic eyes frantically looking around as his lips pressed together in a tight line.
His eyes lit up as soon as a certain person walked by, and he snatched a full glass of booze from their hands with an innocent giggle. "Thanks Jihoonie!" he laughed, earning him a blank stare from the guy, who carried on walking, uninterested.
You laughed as he clinked his glass against yours, downing the entire cocktail down quickly. You watched him for a second before deciding to take the shot, the bitter taste making you cringe.
The group in front of you didn’t seem too concerned by what was happening, already wrapped back up in whatever conversation they had before you and Jae joined them.
"You want another? Or maybe a mixed drink? I’m good at those," Soonyoung put his hand on your shoulder, looking at the kitchen for a moment before settling his hazy eyes back on you.
“If you don’t make it too strong,” you smiled timidly, the words leaving your lips before you could even think them over. Soonyoung gave you a sharp nod, disappearing into the crowd.
Your eyes briefly met Jeonghan again before clumsily looking over at your friend, who seemed too busy to talk to you.
“You know Soonyoung?” Joshua closed the space between the two of you again, face angled down close to yours.
You nodded. “We went to the same school when we were kids,” you told him, playing with the empty shot glass in your hands. He chuckled. “Wow, what a coincidence.” He took a drag of his vape, the fruity cloud of smoke dancing above you. You nodded. “Yeah, we were grouped together for a Business Management project.”
“Business Management? Doesn’t Jeonghan also take that class?” he looked over to his friend, who looked up at the mention of his name. You nodded, telling him Jeonghan and Seokmin were all in your group as well.
“Good luck with that.” Joshua grinned knowingly. “I wouldn’t be able to focus much with those three bickering all the time.” he snickered, looking at his friend who just rolled his eyes.
You smiled. “So far so good.” You hoped to at least get a smile from the boy in front of you, deciding the grudge you held against him might have been a little unfair to him. But Jeonghan dismissed your kindness by ignoring you completely, instead saying something to Eunwoo beside him.
You resisted the urge to show your newfound irritation, shifting your attention back to Joshua.
From the corner of your eye you saw Eunwoo nod, and the two of them left quietly, leaving you four in the corner.
Joshua really knew how to make you feel comfortable, striking up a conversation with you about your majors and some of your interests, the exchange soon shifting into your shared hobby of baking.
When Mingyu and Jae disappeared after a heated make out session you and Joshua briefly cringed at, the two of you were the only ones left. Joshua soon dragged you to the backyard to smoke, joking alcohol made him crave cigarettes.
You were seated on one of the couches outside, a full glass of alcohol in your hand that one of the hosts, Joshua’s friend, had poured you—reminding you of the drink Soonyoung had promised you before, most likely, drunkenly having forgotten about it.
Just shortly after the realization you coincidentally spotted him, and your stomach turned when you saw what exactly was going on. Soonyoung was making out with some girl on the other side of the garden, tongue and all, making you see green with jealousy.
Your innocent crush might’ve not been completely innocent—not when the sight in your peripheral vision impacted you this much.
Your glass was empty now, and you set it on the table in front of you to push yourself up. This caught the attention of Joshua, who’d been busily chatting with the random people you’d grouped up with outside for the last half hour.
“Are you leaving?” Joshua put his hand around your wrist, looking up at you with a frown on his face.
“I don’t feel so good, I need some water,” you told him, making him loosen his grip on you. You had this weird urge to isolate yourself—to flee. “Are you okay? I can get it for you.” His eyes softened upon hearing your words.
You shook your head. “It’s okay, thanks Joshua. I’ll be right back.” you shot him an assuring smile before quickly walking back inside, right past the kitchen to the corridor.
Fuck. Why did you feel so jealous over Soonyoung? It’s not like you were ever close to him.
Maybe you’d been an idiot hoping to catch Soonyoung’s attention, not when he barely paid any attention to you in the first place. He never noticed you in school. The secret glances, soft laughter you tried to hold in whenever he and his friends joked around in class. He didn’t even know you were attending the same college, for god's sake.
Now you felt even worse. You decided to walk straight outside through the front door—away.
“Leaving already?”
You jumped at the sudden voice, eyes locking with Jeonghan who you saw leaning against the white brick house. He eyed you with his arms crossed over his chest.
“Fuck, you scared me.” you instinctively pressed your hand against your thumping chest. Jeonghan seemed to observe you carefully, eyebrows furrowed like he was deep in thought.
“Everything okay?” he suddenly asked you. The question surprised you. Jeonghan didn’t seem the type to entertain people he didn’t care about.
“Um, yeah,” you responded meekly. “Just going home.” you shrugged, fully ready to walk off.
Jeonghan hummed, pushing himself off the wall to get a bit closer to you. You stopped moving, your shoulders slumping a little while looking at him. Jeonghan checking up on you was as odd as it was out of character, but continuing to want to talk to you? By choice? You were stunned.
“Let me guess,” he smiled, clearly already very amused by whatever was about to come out of his mouth. “This has something to do with Soonyoung.” He almost grinned, and his arms remained crossed as he waited for your reaction.
The look on your face only made him smile wider, looking like he had won the lottery.
“I knew I would be right.” he mumbled under his breath, chuckling in an irritating way. “I’m good at this…” he seemed amused, waiting for you to defend yourself.
You forced yourself to laugh, shifting your weight awkwardly as the stiff sound croaked out of you. “What are you talking about?” you held your breath awaiting his next words, but some part of you knew he had you right where he wanted you.
“I mean,” the look in his eyes shifted into something you couldn’t describe. “You have a thing for Soonyoung. It’s very obvious.”
Your chest felt tight. Was is really that noticeable?
“For…for Soonyoung?” you laughed as if his take had been completely wrong. “Why would you think that?” you continued, the quirk of his lip only sputtering you on more. You hoped he couldn’t notice how flustered you were becoming.
Jeonghan laughed, the nasal sound ripping from his throat surprising you. You realized you’d never seen this side to him—almost happy.
“I can help you.”
Your eye twitched. There was a brief silence as Jeonghan anticipated your response, his mouth slightly agape as his eyebrows rose.
“Huh?”
Your confusion made him giggle, dropping his arms down next to his body to fully close the space between you. “Listen,” he started, licking his lips. “I will help you get Soonyoung.” You were suddenly feeling very self-conscious having him so close to you.
“I’m not surprised he hasn’t noticed, since he’s oblivious as it is,” he continued. You looked away at his words, chewing on the inside of your cheek.
“He’s one of my best friends, so it won’t be that hard.” he hummed, taking you in.
You forced yourself to look back into his eyes, a silent exhale passing through your lips. This had to be some kind of setup. There had to be something behind it he wasn’t telling you.
“Who says I want your help?” you glared at him, furrowing your eyebrows.
Jeonghan seemed to like your answer, a wide smile spreading on his face.
“Suit yourself. I’ll tell him about your little crush myself.”
Your eyes widened a bit, looking at him in disbelief.
“Why do you even care that much, Jeonghan?” you crossed your arms, a part of you knowing very well he would happily inform his friend of your stupid secret.
“I’m bored.” he simply grinned, his expression one of an evil mastermind.
Despite already having agreed with Jeonghan beforehand, you felt nervous about sitting next to him in class. You liked sitting near the front, a bit meticulous about having little to no distractions while taking your notes and listening to whatever your teacher had to say.
Jeonghan always sat in the far back of the class, less caring about the lesson and more about doing whatever it was he was back there. You could always hear him snicker about something, probably because of Soonyoung or Seokmin, treating the hour-long lesson like their own personal bar despite already living together and practically being together most of their time.
Today you sat in the back, jumping in your seat when Jeonghan loudly dropped his bag on the table next to you. You snapped out of your daze, looking up to see the boy already smirking at you.
“You didn’t chicken out,” he observed aloud, as if he thought you would actually back out of his genius plan to catch Soonyoung’s attention. As if the threat of not listening to him didn’t come with consequences.
“I’m a little surprised to be honest.” he chuckled, sitting down next to you.
You sighed, following him with your eyes. “Why?” you decided to take the bait. Jeonghan only smiled. “Nevermind. It’ll be more fun this way.” he hummed, carelessly throwing his phone down on the table. “I already have some things in mind, you’ll see,”
You didn’t even want to imagine what he was implying, rolling your eyes before pulling out your notebook and pen.
“Aigoo.” Jeonghan laughed seeing your pastel pink pen, the top decorated with a cute little duck. Your cheeks burned.
Before you could protest he snatched it from your hand, giggling as he observed it up close.
“How cute. Did you name him?” he grinned, loving how embarrassed you looked. “No.” you hissed, trying to get it back from him. Jeonghan tsked with a smile, avoiding your hand before excitedly scooting closer to you.
He held the pen right front of you, wiggling it in front of your face as he started speaking with a high pitched voice. “Please save me from Hannie! I feel so sad without you, y/n.” he laughed at himself, spinning the duck’s head towards him.
He cleared his throat, giving the object a serious look. “I’ll keep you with me today, but I promise I will give you back to y/n later. Now, tell her goodbye.”
“Seriously?” you grumbled, watching him put the duck back in front of your face.
“Bye y/nnie! See you later!” he said in the same, annoying voice, making a loud kissing sound as he briefly pressed the duck’s beak against your lips.
“Jeonghan!” you complained, pushing his arm away as he laughed. Right as you did so, Soonyoung and Seokmin walked in, the latter visibly surprised you were sitting next to Jeonghan.
“Oh, y/n!” Soonyoung smiled, plopping down in the seat in front of Jeonghan. You smiled at him, suddenly feeling very conscious of Jeonghan’s little plan—which he failed to explain the exact logistics of.
“Hi guys.” Seokmin greeted. He sat down in front of you, his back turned to you as he rumbled through his backpack.
“Hyung, didn’t you say you disliked y/n?” Soonyoung asked, leaning over the backrest of the chair as he looked at his friend obliviously. By his tone you could tell he didn’t mean it in a bad way, he was genuinely interested. Soonyoung always had a way of blurting out whatever he had on his mind.
Jeonghan cocked up his eyebrows, giving you a quick look that was met with a subtle glare. “What? Of course not.” he coolly dismissed his friend’s words.
Soonyoung had a subtle pout in his face, looking around as if he was thinking for a moment. “But you said she’s-“
“I don’t dislike y/n.” Jeonghan roughly cut him off, giving him a stern look. Soonyoung giggled, giving you a warm smile that had you malfunctioning for a moment “I think it’s good you’re becoming friends!” he said, then quickly turned around when the teacher announced herself.
“I’m not too fond of you either, you know.” you grumbled lowly to Jeonghan, making him chuckle. “Aw, did I hurt your feelings? I’m sorry. Promise we’ll have a great time together from now.”
You rolled your eyes again. “Whatever.” you sighed in defeat, forcing yourself to pay attention to the class.
The lesson carried on like normal, but your mind kept wandering. You were a little worried about whatever Jeonghan had in store for you, fearing the worst. How would he even be able to help you with Soonyoung? Was this all some ploy to embarrass you in front of his friends?
Deep in thought, you failed to notice Jeonghan leaning into you, flinching when he suddenly put his hand on your knee. “Thinking of me?” he whispered. His breath hit your ear, making the hairs on your arms stand up.
“What are you doing?” you asked quietly, keeping your eyes on the teacher and hoping she wouldn’t notice what was happening.
“Don’t you trust me?” Jeonghan’s voice carried a hint of amusement, and you could practically hear him smile as he spoke. “No.” you admitted quickly. Jeonghan chuckled. “Relax, this is all part of it.” he gently squeezed your knee, making you pout a little. The action had you meet his eye, yet you barely turned to him, not wanting it to seem like you were talking to him in the middle of class.
“Come closer. You have to at least put in an effort if you want Soonyoung to think we’re dating.” Jeonghan whispered, pulling you closer towards him by your knee.
Your eyes widened, looking at him in bewilderment as you felt his side pressing into yours. “D-dating?” you almost gasped. “Yeah?” Jeonghan said as if you were stupid. “How else do you want to catch his attention?” he said, like it was obvious this is what you were going to do from the start.
“Like, suddenly? It’ll be weird.” you mumbled, ignoring the heat radiating off his body. Jeonghan shrugged. “We don’t actually tell anyone we’re ‘dating’. They just need to speculate that there’s something going on between us—and it's Soonyoung. He’ll believe anything.” His hand moved from your knee to hang over the backrest of your seat, trying to appear somewhat close to you.
“Watch.” he looked at the front of the class for a moment before leaning back in to reach your ear. “Look at our teacher. Don’t you think it’s funny how she always wears those ugly shoes with that gap between her big toes?” you caught sight of what he was talking about, wheezing at his description. “The loafers? They’re kinda popular right now…”
Jeonghan smiled. “They look like hooves. Hideous.” that made you laugh, catching Soonyoung briefly looking back at the two of you. “I want to burn those ugly horse shoes so bad.” he continued, very aware of his friend now paying attention to you.
“Guys,” Soonyoung whispered to the two of you, a little smile on his face. “Ignore him.” Jeonghan whispered.
“Popular or not, I need them gone.” he continued as if he didn’t hear Soonyoung.
“Hey, guys,” Soonyoung said a bit louder, leaning over.
“Hmm?” Jeonghan cocked up his eyebrows, turning his head to the boy.
“What’re you laughing at?” he asked, hoping to join in on the fun. You allowed yourself to look at Soonyoung now too, waiting for Jeonghan to speak.
“Huh? Oh, nothing…” Jeonghan giggled, putting his hand on your shoulder. Soonyoung pouted a little, softly nodding before looking back in front of him again, figuring whatever you were whispering about wasn’t anything of importance.
“See?” Jeonghan lowly said, a smirk tugging on his mouth. You didn’t reply, watching him play with your pen in his free hand.
You couldn’t focus for the duration of the class, looking down at your blank notebook realizing you hadn’t been taking any notes, despite Jeonghan putting his pencil on your desk. His fingers played with the fabric of your shirt, not paying you any mind as he listened to the teacher.
After the hour-long lesson Jeonghan waited for you to gather your stuff, Soonyoung and Seokmin already exiting the classroom as per Jeonghan’s request to not wait up for him.
It felt oddly good getting all this attention suddenly, despite it coming from someone you had disliked for a year. Jeonghan really wasn’t as bad as you’d made him out to be, and a part of you liked being included in his circle and getting closer to him. It also made you nervous, never fully knowing what to expect from him.
“That was… interesting.” you told Jeonghan, looking up at him. He stood next to you with his arms crossed over his chest. You zipped up your bag, starting to walk out of the classroom with him. “Of course, told you it would work.” Jeonghan simply said, slowly walking through the hallway. “It would’ve even been better if you weren’t so awkward.” he sighed, looking at you. Your neck burned a bit, avoiding his eyes. You hadn’t realized you were being awkward.
“Meet me at the frat after you finish all of your classes.”
“What?” you frowned at his words.
Jeonghan had a blank look on his face. “Am I speaking french? You have to get used to us being together.” he said almost boredly, halting in front of your next class. You blinked at him before slowly nodding. It wouldn’t hurt to make it seem more believable. “Alright.” you said quietly.
The corners of his mouth rose, winking at you before starting to walk off.
“See you later!” he called over his shoulder, leaving you to ponder on what he’d planned.
A strange feeling settled in your stomach as you waited for Jeonghan in front of the big house, looking around the street observantly.
The street wasn’t too busy, but there was a different atmosphere over at the frat row. The possibility of seeing all these boys—probably all friends with each other—was enough to make you nervous. You didn’t trust them, and you weren’t convinced any of them would see you as their equal—not for any societal reasons per se, but because you barely made any noise in the typical tight-knit college community on campus.
It had been different being together with your friend last weekend, a fickle but comforting energy knowing you weren’t alone, even if it had only been for a little while before she disappeared with Mingyu. You’d had time to settle.
Safe to say you felt out of place this time around.
The sudden sound of the door opening then drew your attention.
“There’s my little ducky.” Jeonghan grinned, motioning for you to come in. He laughed at the look you were giving him, slamming the door shut before leading the way.
Your worries seemed to melt away already, but you still felt somewhat nervous at the possibility of having to meet new people.
“You still didn’t give me back my pen,” you told him as you blindly followed. He smiled as he walked past the kitchen to the hallway, looking back at you for a moment. “I’m keeping it,” he said casually.
You sighed in defeat, more focused on your surroundings than to give him a proper reply. The house was mostly quiet, and thankfully you didn’t see anyone apart from hearing muffled voices from whatever room you were passing by.
“Could you walk any slower?” Jeonghan cocked up his eyebrows waiting for you to enter the opened door of his bedroom. You rolled your eyes at him.
Once inside you started to become aware of where he’d taken you, looking around his room while chewing on your bottom lip.
It looked like any other ordinary bedroom, spare for the few knick-knacks and the collection of shoes in the corner. There were tubs of skin care and school books on his desk, and some discarded clothes draped over his chair.
“So… is Soonyoung home?” you asked carefully, not really sure why you were in his bedroom with him.
“No,” Jeonghan said as he took a seat on his bed, simply watching you.
You looked at him, gulping. “Oh…” you said softly, progressively getting more flustered as he held eye contact with you.
Jeonghan chuckled, motioning for you to come closer. “Come here,” he extended his arm, patiently waiting for you to grab his hand. “This is just practice. You have to get used to us touching, ducky.” he smiled cheekily, watching you hesitantly close the space.
He had a point. You told yourself it wasn’t a big deal, but you still felt overwhelmingly nervous as you grabbed his hand. Vulnerable. As you felt his skin, you noticed how long his eyelashes were, the sharp inner corners of his big eyes complimenting his pretty brown irises. His hand felt warm, but you felt weird. It was strangely intimate for some reason, and you wondered if he thought the same.
“Don’t be so tense, y/n. Just act like you normally would.” he chuckled, pulling you closer than you already were, now standing between his parted thighs. You didn’t have anything to say to that, trying not to show how nervous you suddenly felt.
“Why are you looking like that?” Jeonghan cocked his head to the side, reading you for a moment. “Don’t tell me you’ve never had a boyfriend before,” he grinned, already convinced this had been the reason for your silence.
He laughed when the ghost of a pout appeared on your lips, almost making you want to pull your hand away if it weren’t for him already tightening his grip on you.
“Cute. That’s why you’re so shy, hm?” he smiled with a wicked glint in his eyes. “Don’t mock me.” you mumbled, rolling your eyes before looking away. Jeonghan laughed again, shaking his head. “I’m not.” he lied, smiling in amusement.
“Whatever,” you said, your eyebrows scrunched together as you looked at him again.
“Hey, don’t be mad, ducky. I told you it’s cute.” Jeonghan hummed, suddenly wrapping his free arm around your waist and pulling you onto the bed with him.
You gasped in surprise, bracing a hand on his chest as he pulled you closer, both arms wrapping around you as you lay curled on your side.
“You scared me!” You whined, hitting his chest. “Ow!” Jeonghan giggled, smoothing a hand over your hair. “Sorry.” he chuckled. “C’mere.” he softly urged your head to his chest before stroking your hair.
You sighed in defeat, ignoring the knot in your stomach. “You asked me to come over to cuddle?” you sulked, not seeing why it would be of importance.
“Yes? Things like this matter if you want us to be believable.” Jeonghan sighed, looking at you. You met his eye for a second, resisting the urge to roll your eyes again before looking out in front of you instead.
“I don’t even know why we’re doing this. I doubt it will work.” you murmured, unconsciously nuzzling your cheek against his chest. Your cheeks burned as you realized what you were doing, hoping Jeonghan wouldn’t make fun of you for it.
Jeonghan purposely tugged on the ends of your hair a bit too hard, earning him a glare whilst he just smiled. “It’s a shame you still don’t believe in my expertise.” he exhaled a long breath as if he was disappointed. “You have to be all in if you want this to succeed, ducky.” he smiled.
“Stop calling me that,” you mumbled. “And If I remember correctly, you didn’t give me much of a choice, Jeonghan.” you then grumbled, making him laugh for a moment. You could feel his chest shake.
“Still,” he said, ignoring your first words.
You sighed. “Right.” you agreed. You just hoped it would be enough to interest the boy you’d liked since childhood.
“I swear if you embarrass me…” you then added, looking at Jeonghan.
He blinked slowly, just looking at you for a second. “Of course not.” he said in more seriousness, and you realized that’s all you wanted to hear from him.
You slowly nodded. “Okay.” you almost whispered, giving him a little smile. Jeonghan smiled back at you, resting his cheek against the side of your head.
You were both silent after that, finding comfort in each other’s embrace. It felt nice, having someone to finally hold you.
But the comfort unsettled something, too. Truth is, you were a very lonely person. In your twenty-something years, you’d never had anyone pursue you romantically. Which you told yourself was fine—at first. But as the years passed, and those who took an interest in you somehow always ended up disappearing, you began to think something must be wrong with you.
Still, the loneliness didn’t mean you lacked feeling. That had been the whole problem. You loved deeply, too much, sometimes so much that your fingers shook with it. It pulsed deep within you, burning to engulf and to take and keep taking. You were ashamed of the enormity of your desire, disgusted almost. You were scared that if you’d ever get a taste, you’d feast. You’d devour until nothing remained, only yourself and the wounds of your greediness.
You thought yourself to be destructive, not to be trusted with even a sliver of it—even if a pair of warm arms around you had been all you’d ever wanted.
You’d become too much one too many times in the past, and no one wants someone who’s too much. You told yourself love probably just wasn’t meant for you. Maybe you didn’t deserve it. At least not in this lifetime.
You knew whatever you and Jeonghan were doing wasn’t real—not really. But a part of you had started to wonder. You could feel that same warmth you’d come to resent starting to bloom, and it scared you. You didn’t want to mess up again. Didn’t want to scare away the one person you were starting to let in.
You blinked away tears, not because of your pain, but because Jeonghan’s embrace was bringing you so much comfort.
“This feels nice.” you whispered, feeling a bit stupid for suddenly saying something so vulnerable.
Maybe you really were greedy—doing all this to try to get Soonyoung, when you were convinced he would never want you anyway. Or if he did, he’d end up leaving just like everyone did.
Jeonghan hummed, oblivious to how emotional you suddenly felt. He kept stroking your hair. “Do you want to take a nap, ducky? I’m getting a bit tired,” he admitted, chuckling. You nodded against his chest, happy at the opportunity to have him like this a bit longer.
Jeonghan pulled you even closer, sighing against your hair after closing his eyes. You carefully put your arm around him.
You tried not to overthink it anymore, closing your eyes to try to sleep.
Not long after, Jeonghan’s breathing started slowing, and the hand that kept stroking your head now rested somewhere in your mess of hair. The rise and fall of his chest gradually helped lull you into sleep with him.
Soft humming filled your ears, waking you up with a frown as you blinked in confusion. The sweet and airy sounds continued as you looked up at Jeonghan, suddenly remembering where you were.
Jeonghan met your gaze once you moved, the light from his phone behind your head illuminating his face as he stared back at you. He couldn’t contain his laughter seeing your tired face, letting his head fall back as he put his phone down.
You only sighed before pushing yourself up, too dazed to curse at him already.
It seemed like Jeonghan hadn’t moved at all as you were sleeping, silently scrolling on his phone while he had patiently waited for you to wake up. Whilst you had a nice nap, you couldn’t help feeling a bit embarrassed—and maybe ashamed—about letting yourself get so comfortable around him already.
It took a lot of you to feel at ease around others, and you just hoped Jeonghan wouldn’t take advantage of your vulnerability despite his reassuring words.
“You woke up at a perfect time, sleepyhead.” Jeonghan smirked at you, watching you rub your eyes.
“Why?” you asked with a frown, the boy copying you by sitting up as well. He grabbed his phone again, crossing his legs before showing you the live location of a food delivery driver entering the street.
“You ordered food?” you looked at him. Jeonghan smiled, eyes closing in a slow nod. “I’ll be right back, ducky. Don’t miss me too much,” he tapped your nose playfully before pushing himself off the bed, chuckling at you rolling your eyes as he sauntered out of his bedroom.
Jeonghan returned within a minute, flashing you the plastic bag with a smile before sitting on the edge of the bed.
“I got us burgers.” he announced, pulling out two white wrappers and a bag of fries to put in between you.
Jeonghan ate a fry, humming as he chewed while opening a packet of ketchup. “Are you hungry?” he asked, grabbing a couple of fries again. You nodded, unwrapping your burger slowly before meeting his gaze again.
Jeonghan cocked up his eyebrows, smiling as he watched you. “What’s going on in that little head of yours?” he asked in amusement.
You sighed, frowning for a bit as you searched for your words.
“Do you think… we’ll even convince him?” you asked him hesitantly.
Jeonghan cocked his head to the side. “Of course we will. You don’t think so?” he took a bite of his burger, nodding his head towards yours to get you to eat already.
“I’m not sure,” you sighed again before looking down at your cheeseburger, choosing not to further bother him with your insecurities before finally taking a big bite.
He could tell you had more on your mind than you led on, carefully watching you as he chewed his food. Jeonghan chose not to ask too many questions—not yet.
After finishing your food you headed back to the sorority. It was dark out, and if you stayed out for much longer your sorority sisters would undoubtedly start asking questions you didn’t want to answer.
As you left the frat you thought about how different Jeonghan really was compared to how you’d perceived him. He was funny, and more importantly, he was kind. So kind he’d given you his jacket so you wouldn’t get cold on your walk home. It felt good being around him, as though you were finally seen. Really seen.
You zipped up the dark blue jacket, the back adorned with big white ΙΖ' lettering, smiling to yourself like a creep as you thought about all of the dumb jokes Jeonghan had fed you the whole night.
Soonyoung sipped on his diet coke as he watched Seokmin and you work on your assignment, brown irises flickering between the two of you as he sat in silence.
He didn’t notice the familiar jacket you’d purposely left on the table next to your laptop, or how awkwardly your frame shifted in the stiff chair beneath the buzzing lights of the study hall.
You hadn’t been in contact with Jeonghan all day, assuming you’d see him again at the group meeting. Only he hadn’t shown up, the boys beside you mentioning how he’d told them he had been too tired to leave the house.
It had only been half an hour since you’d started working on coding a website for your three product skincare line—a task that would be a whole lot easier if Soonyoung and Seokmin had done their part of the assignment. Which they hadn’t.
At least you’d gotten somewhere today. The basics weren’t hard, you’d already finished most of the HTML structure and some basic CSS. To continue you needed to know what products you’d use—Seokmin’s task—and the color scheme and logo that would represent your website—which was what Soonyoung had to do.
You reminded yourself you all had the whole semester to finish, so for now you could relax. But you felt anything but relaxed, your body on edge in the presence of Soonyoung.
The screen of your phone lit up, your jaw ticking when you read the message.
Yoon Jeonghan: go flirt with him ;)
You accidentally met Soonyoung’s gaze, forcing yourself to give him a stiff smile. Soonyoung smiled back at you, straightening up in his chair before motioning to your laptop.
“Can I see?” he had a hopeful look on his face, his chubby cheeks growing in size as he smiled wider.
Jeonghan’s words echoed in your head, sending your pulse racing. Your stomach felt tight, gulping before you nodded and turned the screen to him. Why was this so hard?
“Oh! You did all this?” Soonyoung scanned the simple website you’d created, easily impressed by your abilities.
You nodded. “Yeah… It’ll look better after we have a logo and stuff,” you rambled, watching Soonyoung slowly pout. “Right,” he giggled, exhaling a soft breath. “I’ll get us a kick-ass logo soon, promise.” he smiled, making Seokmin chuckle in amusement. He obviously didn’t have much trust in his friend.
You called it a day soon after, feeling a bit defeated as you had no idea how to go about this. Sure, it was one thing to fake-date Soonyoung’s best friend, but without Jeonghan you had no clue how to act in front of him. You felt lost.
Things were basically the same as before—strictly friendly. That was it.
You sighed in defeat at the scene in front of you. Small groups of random students you didn’t recognize sipped on their cheap bottles of beer, chatting away without a care in the world.
“We won’t be long,” Jeonghan bumped your shoulder, already reading your mind. He smirked at the glare you were sending his way. “We just need to be seen together.” he explained for what seemed like the nth time, making you hum uninterested.
The frat seemed to get rowdier by the minute as Jeonghan poured you a drink in the kitchen. A special drink, or how he’d called it.
You didn’t want to admit it, but you were feeling nervous. It was the first time you’d so openly be seen together with Jeonghan. And you were still doubting all of it.
It wasn’t only the inquisitive eyes of strangers you dreaded—or Soonyoung’s, it was also the fact that your best friend would come.
You had no idea how you would convince her you’d randomly started dating Yoon Jeonghan out of all people, afraid she’d see right through you. How could she not?
Jeonghan handed you a glass with an almost black liquor, cocking up his eyebrow at you as he waited. You accepted it hesitantly before taking a big gulp. You figured you needed alcohol for this anyway.
“God, what’s in this?” you cringed at the heavy flavor, making the boy next to you laugh.
“You’ve never had jagermeister?” he snorted before bringing the rim to his quirked lips.
“Straight?” your eyes widened, watching him swallow down the drink.
“No, silly. I added coke.” he smiled, the essence from the liquor coating his lips.
You rolled your eyes, relaxing as he put his arm around you. “Calm down, ducky. You’re so on edge today,” he observed aloud, softly squeezing your shoulder. You only sighed, scanning the body of people before you.
Almost immediately, you made eye contact with Jaehee, who excitedly walked up to Jeonghan and you. She seemed pretty smug when she noticed Jeonghan’s arm around you, tilting her eyebrows playfully as she got closer.
“Hi y/nnie, Jeonghan,” she grinned. Jeonghan gave her a courtesy nod, smiling politely as he slid his hand down to rest atop your waist. The sensation of having his hand there caught you off guard for a moment.
“What’s all this? You know you’re not supposed to mix business with pleasure, right?” She teased, awfully surprised at the seemingly random pairing.
You didn’t question her reaction. Despite her not knowing about the grudge you’d held against Jeonghan for well over a year, she was very aware of your crush on Soonyoung. Which made Jeonghan and you together somewhat odd.
“Guess the cat’s out of the bag,” Jeonghan chuckled, pulling you closer to kiss the top of your head. “Had to pull out all of my charm for this one,” he continued, and you admired how well he was playing his role.
“Oh, i’m sure. You got the pick of the litter, Yoon Jeonghan,” Jaehee winked at you as she talked you up.
Her eyes easily found Jeonghan again. “But, make her sad once and see what happens.” Her lips pressed together in a straight line.
Jeonghan smiled, looking down at you as if you were the only one in the room. “I wouldn’t dream of it.” he almost whispered as you met his eye. You only blinked at him, not knowing how to respond before he chuckled at you and softly nudged your cheek with the back of his fingers, leaving the skin tingling from his touch.
“I have to restock the coolers real quick before the beer bros start complaining,” Jeonghan squeezed your waist before letting go of you. “I’ll give you two a minute.” he smiled, patting your head before walking off.
“What the fuck?!” Jaehee yell-whispered at you as you watched Jeonghan disappear. You had to remind yourself to act natural. This was all a part of the plan, after all.
“You’re dating Jeonghan? How did that happen?” Jae crossed her arms over her chest, a pleased smirk forming on her glossy lips.
You gave her a smile. “Oh, you know…” you brushed it off, chuckling.
“Is this why you’ve been so off lately?” she asked, shaking her head in amazement. You frowned as you took a sip of your overpowering drink. “I haven’t been off,” you told her after finishing your glass in one gulp.
“You so have!” she giggled, pushing your shoulder playfully. You only laughed, shrugging. “Maybe.” you pouted, giggling at the expression she was giving you.
Jaehee shook her head again in amazement, turning to the kitchen island to pour herself a drink.
Though you did feel bad for lying, you tried not to think about it for now. You’d tell her eventually, after all of this would merely be a funny memory you’d laugh at looking back.
“So,” she started, turning back to you with a mischievous grin. “Did you have sex with him yet?” she leaned in, reading your reaction carefully.
“Jaehee…” you rolled your eyes and laughed, trying not to seem too caught off guard at the question. The thought of it brought goosebumps to your skin, and you reached for the bottle of vodka on the counter to mask the shaky breath you suddenly had to let out. You needed it for emotional support anyway with Jeonghan not there to do the talking for you.
“Oh, come on! You got your first boyfriend and you want me to be cool about it?” she sulked.
“I don’t want to jinx anything yet,” you told her coolly, chuckling at her sighing out loud. “Fair.” she smiled sweetly, dropping it for now.
Soonyoung hadn’t spared you a second glance after his initial greeting—a mere wave—off laughing with Seokmin and some random girl for what had already felt like hours.
Jeonghan had been gone for a while already, and you were starting to feel restless without him. You blamed it on the scene in front of you—the way Soonyoung’s laugh echoed far too loudly at whatever the girl was telling him, his arm deliberately brushing her shirt. Your skin prickled almost painfully at the sight as you tried to pay attention to Jae’s rant about something Mingyu had done.
Still, Seokmin was right there. Equally as loud, friendly, exactly the buffer that should’ve made all of this easier to stomach. And yet… it didn’t. The restlessness lingered like a breath you couldn't fully release. An itch you couldn’t reach.
You kept glancing over at Soonyoung, but the longer you looked, the less you recognised him. The somewhat quiet, awkward kid you used to know felt like someone else entirely now. You were beginning to fear that you were chasing a past version of him, one that didn’t even exist anymore. You realised you were looking through the lens of someone who used to know him.
Maybe you were just doing this all wrong. Maybe if you were louder, or bolder—better, you wouldn’t be feeling this defeated.
There was a dull, stubborn ache in your chest that kept on growing, one that you couldn’t ignore no matter how hard you tried. The thought of doing all of this without even knowing if you still even wanted it stung, and all you wanted was to flee. All you wanted was for Jeonghan to make you laugh again.
“Fuck, okay—I’m gonna go find him,” Jaehee sighed after getting out all her pent up frustration, taking the remainder of her drink as a shot. “I’m going to confront him—remind him I’m a bad bitch who doesn’t take shit. Wish me luck.” Her jaw stiffened, eyes scanning the room to catch sight of Mingyu.
“Good luck, girl,” you forced a smile. You really didn’t want to be by yourself right now. But you didn’t say anything, watching her sigh before getting lost in the crowd.
You had the perfect opportunity to leave the party, walk the short route back to the sorority and simply call it a night. The alcohol had made you tired anyway.
Yet you found yourself sipping on another drink on the couch.
You were hoping Jeonghan would come find you. Whenever you were with him you seemed to forget about everything that gnawed at you. He was quickly becoming your comfort in all of the chaos you felt. Maybe he was the cause of it, too.
As if on cue, you spotted the long-haired boy in the sea of people. “There you are,” he said when he got close enough. His voice soothed you, and you already felt a bit better. Jeonghan slotted himself next to you on the couch with a low groan, his warm hand finding your knee as if it were natural.
“What’s wrong?” he squeezed you when you didn’t greet him. You shrugged.
Jeonghan looked at you for a moment, his big eyes reading you. “Is this about Soonyoung?” he blinked.
You exhaled a breath. “It’s stupid.”
“Probably,” he said, earning a glare. Jeonghan only smiled.
“C’mon, tell Jeonghannie,” He put his arm around you, pulling you closer to him.
“I hate that.” you grumbled at the way he was referring to himself, making him chuckle. “Stop moping, little ducky,” he began stroking your hair..
You sighed, chewing on your bottom lip. You just looked at him for a moment, his features softening as he noted your hesitance.
“I don’t think I can do this,” you said carefully, frowning a little. You felt vulnerable vocalizing what’d been plaguing your mind, but somehow it eased the weight off your shoulders too.
His brown eyes didn’t leave yours, sympathy growing on his handsome face. Jeonghan then softly hummed in acknowledgment. “Why do you think that?” he simply asked.
You sighed again, looking away. “Just… It’s stupid—I don’t have a chance with him anyway,” you mumbled, making Jeonghan cock up his eyebrows.
“Huh? Of course you do, silly,” Jeonghan softly shook you, smiling at you sparingly. He wondered why you continued to put yourself down.
You looked at him, doubt clear on your face. “I don’t think so.” you shrugged. It was Jeonghan’s turn to sigh. “Well, you’re wrong.” he fixed a stray strand of your hair, putting the lock behind your ear.
You chuckled bitterly. “I’m not his type. I’m not… confident, or assertive… no one ever likes me,” your jaw tightened a bit as you spoke, your throat closing up.
Jeonghan frowned at you, pausing for a moment. “That’s not true y/n,” he shook his head, observing you carefully. “Like, not at all.” He sighed before gently nudging your chin, looking at you. You softly pouted, not really knowing what to say.
“Do you even know how lucky he’d be to have you?” he added, his sweet words only making you somber.
“He’ll see that too, so don't try to act like someone you’re not. You’re already perfect.” Jeonghan reassured you, holding your chin to keep you from looking away from him again. You swallowed a lump in your throat.
“Such a pretty girl…” he then hummed with a smile, only making things worse. You hated how much his words impacted you—how easily they reached the parts of you you tried to keep hidden.
“He’d be such an idiot…” he whispered, taking you in carefully.
You avoided his gaze, unable to repress the tears that were starting to form in the corners of your eyes. You didn’t know why it hit so hard—maybe because you wanted to believe it.
“Aigooya,” Jeonghan reached out to dry your tears. “Don’t cry on me, little ducky,” he pouted before giving your cheek a soft squeeze, slowly starting to smile.
“I’ll talk you up to him, okay? I promise.” he assured you. You blinked away your tears and exhaled a breath to compose yourself, nodding as you gave him a little smile.
“Good. Now, don’t be sad—or Jaehee will scold me for being a bad boyfriend.” he sighed, making you chuckle in the middle of all of this.
“I’m okay… thank you, Hannie.” you sniffled.
Jeonghan cocked his head to the side at the nickname you’d given him, smirking in amusement. “I already got a nickname? I must be good at this fake boyfriend thing.” he teased you, laughing when you pushed him.
“Ow!” he giggled. “Keep teasing me and I might start thinking you actually like me,” Jeonghan grinned, making you roll your eyes. “I’m not teasing you.” you tried not to smile.
“Oh? Calling me that is teasing, ducky.” he put his arm around you again, smiling as he pulled you into his embrace, this time keeping you there.
“You call me that stupid nickname every two seconds and I’m the one teasing?” you looked up at him, your cheek resting against his shoulder as he kept you close.
“I never said I wasn’t,” Jeonghan smirked, almost challenging you to say something back.
You could feel your face starting to heat up, not knowing how to get back at him. There was a brief pause between the two of you.
“You know,” Jeonghan then whispered, momentarily looking behind you before his sharp eyes invaded yours again. He licked his lips before glancing at yours, and the subtle action made you slightly nervous. “I know just how to get people’s attention,” the corner of his mouth rose, waiting on how you’d react. Now you were getting really nervous.
Still, you didn’t know what to say.
Jeonghan looked perfect as he studied you, like he already knew what you were thinking. You were terrified he might. Your quietness, your hesitation… you were convinced it only enticed him. But what if you were just imagining the sudden heaviness hanging in the air?
“What, you don’t want to kiss me?” his lip threatened to curl up again, though he tried his best not to.
Oh.
You blinked at him in surprise, too afraid to assume that he was actually serious.
“Jeonghan…” you whispered shyly, feeling your heart beating out of your chest.
Jeonghan knew you weren’t saying no—he could see it in your eyes, in the way you were looking at him the same way he had been looking at you. You wanted to. He wasn’t dumb. But you were simply too timid to initiate what he’d been alluding to.
He then gently cupped your cheek, fingers burning against your warm skin as he slowly leaned in. His lips parted in a pleased smirk noticing the hazy look hiding behind your eyes, thumb swiping your cheek to lure your blown pupils to meet his, commanding your full and uttermost attention. You melted under his touch, watching his long lashes fan his cheeks as he closed them, before his lips finally met yours in a soft but long kiss.
The party was all a blur by now, fixated on the feeling of Jeonghan’s lips and his body leaning into yours. You felt hot, and maybe not just because of the alcohol in your system. Just when you started to fear he’d pull away, Jeonghan purred against your mouth, holding you tighter before tracing a line on your bottom lip with his tongue. You let him take the lead, let him do as he pleased as he left you whimpering with a mere tug of his teeth.
You realised he’s messing with you even now, feeling him smile whenever he gets a sound out of you. You didn’t care this time, finding your hand suddenly clutching his shirt at his side as Jeonghan deepened the kiss, hearing the wet smacking sounds even over the music you had already tuned out.
You kissed Jeonghan back with equal fever. You were vaguely aware of people watching—You didn’t care. You didn’t want to stop. You moaned into his mouth at the sensation, a mess of spit and teeth that had your cheeks burn with anticipation.
It all felt a little too real—but maybe if you convinced yourself it was as real as it felt, others would believe it too. Even if Soonyoung didn’t see what was happening, word would spread eventually.
Then, he stopped.
“Let’s go to my room,” Jeonghan whispered, linking your fingers together before getting up and pulling you with him.
You only nodded, ignoring the quiet sting of something unfinished as he led you through the body of people, away from the rowdy living room.
You’d gotten what Jeonghan had promised—something to make all of this seem believable. And getting seen leaving together was the icing on the cake.
Your lips still tingled from the kiss, though you tried not to show how much Jeonghan had unraveled you as you entered his bedroom together. You were finally away from the party, and you could let yourself relax now. You exhaled a breath you hadn’t realized you were holding before smiling, feeling Jeonghan’s eyes on you as you kicked off your shoes and crawled onto his bed.
“Mission accomplished,” you joked, lying down with a groan and stretching out your limbs to get comfortable.
Jeonghan didn’t respond. You watched him crawl onto the bed after you, mirroring your movements. You smiled at him, expecting him to roll onto his back next to you—only to freeze when he climbed on top of you instead.
Jeonghan kissed you again. Only this time he didn’t intend on stopping.
Your breath hitched against his lips, hands finding his shoulders as you let him.
The way his weight pressed into you made your head spin, like you were his for the taking.
His elbows framed your face, soft, long hairs brushing your face—you couldn’t think anymore. You didn’t want to think anymore.
“Jeonghan—“ you finally whispered, your body on fire as he shushed you with a long peck. You suppressed a moan and squeezed his shoulder in vain at the way he kept sucking and biting your bottom lip, a veil of pleasure spreading through every inch of you.
“Jeonghan—Wha-what are you doing?” you managed to stutter through your haze, feeling yourself practically glued to the mattress.
Jeonghan cupped your cheeks, giving you a long peck. “Can’t help myself. Y’re just so cute,” he mumbled before kissing you again, sighing when you started kissing him back.
The tips of his fingers found your skin under the hem of your top, brushing your hip almost hesitantly as if you could pull away at any moment, like any wrong move would bring you back to your senses and have you slip away from him.
You pulled him closer, sighing at the feeling of his hand slowly stroking up your side. Your back curled autonomously at the gentle caress, pressing your head into the pillow as Jeonghan ground his hips against yours.
Nimble fingers pulled up the cup of your bra, plumped pink lips pecking your ajar mouth as he squeezed your breast. You spread your thighs wider for him before pulling on the ends of his hair, kissing him hard as you started panting at the friction of his groin grinding against your clothed cunt.
“Hannie…” you whispered, curling your back again.
“Yes, ducky?” Jeonghan asked softly, rolling your nipple between his fingers.
“Please…” you gulped, letting go of his hair to pull at the hem of his shirt.
You’d never fake dated before, but you were sure you were breaking every rule in the book.
Jeonghan slowly started kissing down to your neck, only stopping to rid himself of the fabric you wanted gone. His smooth back felt soft as you shyly traced a line over the fair skin, eyes closing with a sigh when he sucked on a particularly sensitive spot where your neck met your shoulder.
“Is this still okay?” Jeonghan whispered against your skin, his fingers splayed over your exposed stomach where your top had ridden up, softly kneading your waist. You nodded, and he softly moaned when your nails brushed the nape of his neck, tangling gently in his long hair.
You guided his lips back to yours, all signs of modesty ignored, evident in the way your tongue nastily demanded his.
“Fuck.” Jeonghan breathed. “Can I touch you, baby?” he asked, squeezing your waist while his thumbs pushed down against the waistband of your jeans. Eagerly, you nodded. “Yes, please,” you mumbled against his lips, feeling the corners of his mouth tug up.
You sucked on his bottom lip to silence any potential sneer that would follow, smiling at the hushed curse that followed.
Jeonghan kept kissing you as he undid the button of your jeans, fingers dipping into the fabric to tug them down to your knees.
The short sensation of his body grinding against you had already left a mess between your legs, leaving a subtle dark patch on your panties.
You didn’t give Jeonghan much of an opportunity to pull away from you, mewling against his mouth at the sudden feeling of his fingers slowly starting to rub your clit.
Your body started meeting his touch, hips following his movement as your jaw slacked.
Jeonghan softly hummed, brown eyes fixated on your face as he kept pecking your top lip.
“More, Hannie…” your chest tightened when you met his eye, a heavy veil settling over your body as the weight of what the two of you were doing sank in.
Jeonghan looked down at you, taking a beat too long to respond as if he had realized the exact same thing. Then he smiled—almost smirking before applying more pressure.
You moaned, squeezing your eyes shut for a quick second before giving him a hard kiss. You softly shook your head. “More.” you told him again, a short wave of anxiety seeping through your body that instantly disappeared again when he dipped his fingers inside of your panties, finally touching you where you needed him.
“Is this better?” he whispered, smiling when you gave him this look, begging for him to kiss you properly again.
“Yes,” you said almost inaudibly, your nails raking over the back of his neck at the feeling of his soft lips pushing against yours.
He circled your clit with his thumb, his fingers taunting your burning entrance.
You spread your thighs even further, hoping it would lead to him pushing his fingers deep inside of you already.
Instead, Jeonghan took his time teasing your clit and entrance, thumb pushing into your nub as two of his fingers brushed against your wet hole.
Your hands slid to his cheeks, cupping his face before moaning into his mouth. You could feel him smile at the sounds he was inciting out of you, only spurring the both of you on more.
His digits pushed against your entrance, starting to dip inside of you before stopping right when you started to feel your entrance burn. They slipped back against your wet entrance, a chuckle rolling out of his throat when you exhaled a breath of frustration.
“Say please,” Jeonghan purred against your lips, now completely abandoning your core to gently pinch your clit. You exhaled another breath, brows furrowing while your cheeks grew hotter.
“Jeonghan…” you whispered, squeezing his shoulder in hopes of having him give in to you.
“Come on, just like you did before,” he continued, failing to hide how much he enjoyed the reaction he had on you.
You sighed, feeling as if you were cloud nine as he started nibbling on your bottom lip.
“Please…” you gulped, imagining his long fingers pushing inside of you.
“Good girl,” Jeonghan mumbled, his hot tongue finding yours before he did just that, two digits starting to slowly enter you. A moan filled the air, your breath hitching as your pussy stretched to accommodate his fingers.
He moved them at a slow pace, opening his eyes to watch you wither under him. A sight he didn’t want to ever forget.
“Does that feel good, ducky?” Jeonghan whispered, brushing your lips with his. You quickly nodded, trying to keep kissing him despite the overwhelming pleasure that kept building, putting you in a trance.
He went a bit faster, forehead touching yours as his eyes remained glued to your face. Your eyelashes fanned your cheeks, lips twitching and mouth unfurling with every delicious drag of his fingers.
“Mmnh!” you whimpered and bucked your hips when he circled your hard clit, making your thighs twitch at the friction. You tightened around him, clutching his shoulder and pulling him flat against your body as some sort of anchor.
You gasped for air, sliding a leg over his hip before pushing yours up, chasing the orgasm you felt approaching quickly.
Jeonghan kissed your nose before going even faster, dying to watch you come around his fingers.
You bit your lip, squeezing your eyes shut as pleasure bloomed inside of you, consuming you as you reached your high with another loud whimper.
“Fuck,” you moaned, sighing as your thigh unhooked from his hip and slid back down on the mattress.
Jeonghan kissed your cheek, slowly pulling his fingers out of you before sucking them clean while looking at you. He had you speechless.
“Are you okay?” Jeonghan asked softly, your eyes fixated on his plump lips. Slowly, you nodded, feeling slightly unsure as you pecked his lips. Jeonghan smiled.
“You’re cute,” he chuckled, fixing the wild strands of your hair before moving to push himself up. Your hand quickly found his bicep.
“No.” you slipped out, eyes wide and hazy as you looked at him.
Jeonghan tilted his head, blinking slowly. Then he smiled in amusement. “Aren’t you tired, baby?” Jeonghan teased you, his muscles relaxing as he found his previous position again.
You shook your head.
“Do you… do you want to?” you asked a bit unsure, only hoping you weren’t embarrassing yourself. What if the moment was just that—a moment that had now passed.
Jeonghan laughed, giving you a chaste kiss.
“Are you serious? Do you even know how hard I am right now?” he chuckled when you replied with a nod, stroking your cheek with the back of his hand before pushing himself up at last.
You watched him unbuckle his belt, admiring his pretty body whilst he rid himself of his pants. Your eyes followed a path down to his boxers, swallowing a lump in your throat at what you were seeing.
You didn’t expect just how big he were, even with the dark piece of fabric that was still covering his manhood.
“Are you gonna take it off for me?” Jeonghan asked you, his sultry voice and bedroom eyes making your chest thump. Those eyes of his would have you do anything he asked of you.
You suddenly realized you were still lying down with your pants half on, shyly tugging them down together with your panties before discarding them on the floor. You kneeled on the bed, crawling over to where Jeonghan was to push him down and settle between his thighs.
He watched you slip off your top over your head, your bra thrown on the growing pile to the side.
You bit your lip as Jeonghan admired your naked body, his hand reaching out to stroke your thigh.
“You’re so pretty,” he whispered, squeezing your skin. You gave him a small smile, trying to exhale a controlled breath as your fingers splayed over his lower tummy.
“You’re pretty too.” Your lip twitched, eyes leaving his to glide down his figure, your digits hooking into his boxers to pull at the stretchy band.
“Thank you, ducky.” Jeonghan hummed, licking his lips as he watched you get him fully naked.
Your lungs filled up with air when you saw his large cock, the tip glistening and leaking pre-cum already. You weren’t sure if you were able to fit all of him inside of you, and the mere thought of it sinking deep inside made you gulp. In a good way.
Quickly, your hand wrapped around the base, your lips parting as you leaned down a little to let a glob of spit drip down onto the red tip.
Jeonghan sighed, his eyes narrowing as he watched you carefully.
You spread the wetness all over his length, the dirty sounds filling the air even over the subtle music off in the distance. Jeonghan’s body relaxed under your touch, his mouth slightly open as he breathed deeper.
The sight in front of you had your cunt tighten around nothing. You didn’t care that you weren’t supposed to do this. Right now you needed to feel him.
Jeonghan’s hands found your waist, his breath hitching when you straddled him and fisted his hard cock to align the tip against your folds. You kissed him, softly moaning against his lips as you ground your cunt against him.
Slowly but gradually, you started sinking down, a mixture of your moans filling the air.
He was so big, and you struggled to accommodate his thick tip. “Slow down.” Jeonghan groaned, throwing his head back to release a filthy whimper as you ignored him and did your best to keep going.
“Fuck,” you moaned, clencing around his size fruitlessly. You held his shoulders to support yourself, your hips stuttering when you finally sat down on him. You exhaled a shaky breath before rolling your hips, the overstimulation killing you.
You moaned again, feeling him press right onto your G-spot.
He looked so effortlessly pretty like this. The strands of his long hair framed his face, tongue peeking out from plump lips as his chest adorned a new red-colored flush. You could feel him tighten his grip on your waist, big eyes watching you.
You found a steady rhythm, trying your best to keep yourself from cumming already—which proved to be harder than anything.
A yelp came out of you when his thumb brushed your clit just like before, your jaw slacking at the newfound pleasure running through your body. “Fuck, Jeonghan,” you gulped hard, biting your lip and moaning when he thrusted up once to meet you.
“You feel so fucking good, ducky,” Jeonghan moaned, yanking you down by your shoulder to have your chests meet. He put an arm around you, keeping you pressed against you as he planted his feet down on the mattress to fuck up into you. You whimpered hard.
“Sorry, sorry, just need you now,” he groaned, his cheek pressing against your crown.
You squeezed his shoulders, whimpering uncontrollably as he kept a head-spinning pace. You pressed your mouth against his neck, making him curse as your teeth found his skin.
Jeonghan gripped your ass, kneading the skin as the filthy sounds echoed through his bedroom.
Anyone walking past would be able to hear what was happening, and yet you really didn’t care. You were sure Jeonghan didn’t care.
Your body felt on fire, the feeling of his hands gripping you to keep you from moving leaving you breathless.
Then, he rolled you onto your back, pinning your arms above your head by your wrists as he started fucking you again. Jeonghan licked his lips, watching you wither under him with a pair of hazy eyes to match his.
God, he was big. He stretched you out so deliciously, so perfectly. You squeezed your eyes shut when his mouth encircled your nipple, sucking and biting carelessly to take you apart even further.
“Fuck. Gonna cum soon. Can’t take it anymore,” Jeonghan groaned, sucking and leaving a train of love bites from your tit to your neck. You bit your lip and nodded, sighing at how full you felt. You were right there with him, your muscles burning and your cunt pulsing as that familiar feeling spread through your body.
“D-don’t pull out.” you gulped, curling your back before moaning.
Jeonghan gave you a kiss. “Have to, baby,” he told you, trapping your wrists with one hand as the other one found your clit again. You whimpered and squirmed under him, weakly shaking your head.
“Please?” you sighed, bucking your hips. Jeonghan groaned as his lips found yours, his breath hitching.
“God—Are you sure?” he asked, his thrust becoming sloppy.
You nodded soundlessly, feeling like you were floating. As if the world around you didn’t exist.
“Yes, Hannie,” you hooked a leg around his waist, making the both of you moan in each other’s mouth.
Jeonghan felt even deeper now, massaging your bundle of nerves until he felt you starting to cum around him. He cursed at the feeling of your tight pussy gripping his cock, your body going slack against his. He stilled as his warm cum started filling you, softly moving to fuck his release deep inside.
You curled your back in pleasure, exhaling a long breath as you relished the dizzying feeling.
Jeonghan let go of your wrists to cup your cheek, pressing a long kiss on your parted lips before resting his face in the crook of your neck. He stroked your sides as he tried to catch his breath, planting more soft kisses there as his hips slowly moved against yours, before finally stopping.
You stayed like that for a moment, feeling Jeonghan’s chest rise and fall as his cock remained lodged inside of you. Only when you started to feel your mixed release dripping from where you were joined he slowly lifted his hips to let his cock fall out of you.
You bit your lip at the feeling, already missing the closeness you shared.
Jeonghan sat up and fixed his hair before helping you up, holding your hand as he wordlessly walked to the bathroom with you.
“Are you okay, ducky?” he asked softly after running the shower. You gave him a smile, nodding. “I’m good, Hannie. Are you?” you asked him, your smile growing when he nodded.
“Of course,” he squeezed your cheek before signaling for you to enter the shower, watching you step inside before following you.
Sunlight warmed your face, the fraternity oddly quiet compared to the night before. You rubbed your tired eyes before turning to an already awake Jeonghan, blinking at the ceiling as if he was deep in thought.
“Hey,” you said softly, cuddling up next to him.
Jeonghan smiled, putting his arm around you.
“Hi ducky.” he sweetly rubbed your back, tracing patterns on his shirt you were wearing.
You tried not to think too much about what had happened between you two. You weren’t ready to face the consequences of your actions yet, not today at least.
“Do you think Soonyoung saw us?” you then asked him quietly, tilting your head.
Jeonghan got quiet for a moment, momentarily stopping the tracing on your back as he looked at you.
“Yeah. Probably.”
“I think so too,” you hummed, resting your face against his chest. “Hopefully,” you added before smiling, closing your eyes again.
“Right.” Jeonghan looked at you, his fingers finding your hair again.
You didn’t realize how quiet the room had gotten again.
The distant laughing and shouting from the group of boys running around at the school’s football field brought a surprisingly comforting atmosphere–almost calming as the ball got kicked around from left to right.
Your eyes easily found Soonyoung’s figure. He was hard to miss. Maybe you were just naturally drawn to him, despite the doubt that had started growing inside of your head.
It had merely started as a tiny seed, a speck of uncertainty that had grown into something bigger—clouding your mind ever since that day not long ago. The same day where you ended up sleeping with Jeonghan.
It had only been a few days since then, but you just couldn’t figure out why you were starting to fear this plan of Jeonghan somehow working.
It’s not that you had even an inkling of trust in this plan—that hadn’t progressed one bit, mind you—It was just that Jeonghan seemed to have some kind of magical power to get whatever he wanted.
He was alluring. A pretty face that knew just what to say and when to say it was truly a deadly combination. You were sure he could convince you to jump in a ditch if he smiled at you right.
Maybe you were right to enjoy your time with Jeonghan while you figured out what you really wanted. It was no use to put an end to it now—not when your new friendship with Jeonghan was making you feel a lot happier than you’ve been for the past few years. Nothing wrong with that, right?
“Keep still,” Jeonghan teasingly pulled you back by your lock of hair he was braiding, snapping you out of your train of thought.
“Ow!” you complained with a pout, giggling when Jeonghan tsked at your obvious exaggeration.
You were sitting in front of his body with your legs crossed, plucking at the blades of grass that tickled the palms of your hands.
“Didn’t you like football, Hannie?” you frowned as your eyes followed the flock of boys running around, ignoring how he sighed whenever you moved too much for his liking. He hummed, carefully tying the bottom of your braid before finally letting go of your hair.
You quickly turned your head, Jeonghan watching your braid snapping to the side as you looked back at him.
“Then why aren’t you playing?” you asked him, watching him chuckle at you before carefully moving your braid over your shoulder.
“Can’t I spend time with my girlfriend?” he smirked at you, laughing when you rolled your eyes. “I’m being serious,” you sighed, scooting to sit next to him. “Me too.” Jeonghan grinned, draping his arm around your shoulder right as Soonyoung giggled in the background. You briefly glanced at him, exhaling in amusement as you watched him laugh, running to the other side of the field with others hot on his heels, kicking the ball in the direction of the goal.
Your eyes naturally found Jeonghan again, watching the corners of his mouth lift up as you made eye contact. For some reason the energy felt heavier in this moment, and you were overly aware of how close you were sitting. You could feel his chest expand as he breathed, smell the peach shampoo off his dark hair—or the subtle peppery, bergamot scent from his perfume that mixed in whenever he moved.
You gave him a half-smile before quickly diverting your gaze down back to the grass, routinely pulling at the blades again.
“Did you—Did you ever talk to him?” you scrunched your eyebrows momentarily as you broke the silence, shortly looking at Jeonghan before watching the blades of grass in your hand get carried away by the wind.
“Hm?” Jeonghan leaned into you at your question, his fingers finding the end of your braid to toy with.
“I mean—Did you talk to Soonyoung for me?” you clarified, looking at him sparingly.
“Oh—right. Yeah, I did,” He told you, making you kind of worried with the way he didn’t share more.
“And…?” You asked unsure, feeling more and more insecure by the second. Even the possibility of catching Soonyoung’s eye after all of these years brought goosebumps to your skin.
“He said you’re insanely cute,” Jeonghan told you, watching your reaction.
You blinked in surprise, your lips forming a subtle pout as you took in his words. Slowly, you nodded, flashing Jeonghan a small smile. “Really?” you asked him, caught off guard. Jeonghan nodded, making you giggle by squeezing your cheek. “Yes, really. I mean, who could ever resist you? It was bound to happen eventually,” he shrugged, making you cringe and bump your shoulder into his chest.
Truth was, Jeonghan was lying straight through his teeth. He had never talked with Soonyoung about you after making his promise to you. He was never planning on it, either. He didn’t know why, but for some reason he just didn’t want to. Maybe it was selfish of him, but he didn’t want to put an end to this fake relationship. Not when being with you felt like remembering something warm from a dream he didn’t want to forget.
“Hey guys!” Soonyoung exclaimed happily as he ran up to Jeonghan and you, a football tucked under his arm. “Did you see me score?!” he carelessly dropped the football before plopping down on the grass in front of the two of you, letting the ball roll a bit before settling beside him.
“Oh, of course we did Soonyoungie!” Jeonghan smiled at him, and you felt his hand find your shoulder again as he fed him the little white lie. “You did so well,”
You watched Soonyoung, his cute eyes progressively getting smaller upon getting praised by his older friend. He giggled sweetly, meeting your eye as he smiled open-mouthed, like a puppy waiting to get a treat.
“You were great,” you nodded at him, your body responding to having him in front of you after finding out what he’d supposedly said about you.
“Thank you, y/n!” Soonyoung giggled again, pouting in satisfaction. He looked almost shy, yet his demeanor quickly changed when he realised he actually came to ask something.
“Oh—Mingyu and I were thinking of cooking some meat and having drinks at home. You guys are coming too, right?” he looked between Jeonghan and you, his face relaxed as he expected you’d say yes.
You opened your mouth to answer, but Jeonghan started speaking right before you got the chance to. “We are actually about to head to y/n’s place, right ducky?” Jeonghan asked with his mouth dangerously close to your ear, his fingers starting to stroke your shoulder over your top.
You looked over at Jeonghan for a second before looking at Soonyoung. “We were?” you blinked dumbly before realising Jeonghan had made it up on the spot. He chuckled. “Yeah, we were going to work on the project for a bit,” he simply said, and if you didn’t know any better you’d believe him.
“Argh, the project?” Soonyoung scratched behind his ear, smiling playfully.
“Mhm,” Jeonghan only smiled.
“Well, maybe you guys could come after? Seungcheol hyung got us a bunch of weed, it’s gonna be fun!” Soonyoung pushed himself up from the floor as he boasted about tonight, hoping to convince his hyung.
“Yeah, maybe,” Jeonghan said uninterestedly, patting your back before the two of you mimicked the blonde-haired boy and got up from the grass.
As you walked the opposite direction of Soonyoung, exiting the somewhat crowded football field while bumping shoulders with Jeonghan, you found yourself sneaking a look at his pretty face.
His big eyes always drew you in, making you smile as you called his name. There was a hint of playfulness behind his eyes as he looked at you, as if he’d already predicted your action.
“Work on the project?” you only said, cocking up your eyebrow in curiosity.
Jeonghan chuckled, shrugging. “I want to hang out with you,” he admitted. “Just us two.” he added, smiling. “Why, did you want to be with Soonyoungie?” he smirked, his hand bumping against yours. He looked down for a second before looking back at you.
You looked away, failing to hide your smile. “I mean, isn’t that the whole reason why we’re doing this?” you chuckled, hearing him silently giggle. “Sure,” he hummed, smiling cheekily.
Jeonghan silently grabbed your wrist when the distance between you became too big for his liking, closing his eyes in a smile when you looked up at the sudden touch.
“We can go hang with them later, how does that sound ducky?” Jeonghan asked, his tone one of a kindergarten teacher affirming a small child. You hummed, and when Jeonghan silently linked your pinkies together you tried to remain calm. Collected.
“We’ll see,” you said, sneaking a look down at your hands.
Jeonghan almost grinned when he noticed, liking how you tried to act cool, as if you felt normal about it. Only, you could tell what he was doing, mustering up your courage to convince him you did feel very much normal about linking pinkies with him.
“You do know Soonyoung isn’t around, huh?” you gave him a look, smiling when he did too.
“I know,” he simply said. “But others might see us. It’s called being prepared, baby.” he purred, making you roll your eyes, though you couldn’t hide your amusement even if you tried.
“Whatever.” you sighed, making the corners of Jeonghan’s mouth twitch.
“Are you just going to stand there or are you going to help me?” you narrowed your eyes at Jeonghan, who was currently busying himself with smelling each bottle of perfume you had in your possession.
“Found my favorite,” Jeonghan turned to show you the perfume you usually wore, taking his time spraying it on his wrist and letting it dry down before smelling it on his skin. He sighed in contentment, smiling before setting it back.
“It smells best on you,” he concluded with a small shrug before finally walking towards you, sighing when he actually saw you with your laptop open.
“You really want to work on the project?” He took a seat next to you on the bed before crossing his arms over his chest. You gave him a look. “You mean the project you haven’t worked on for a single minute? Yeah,” you looked at him, making Jeonghan throw his head back in a sigh. “You know I’ve actually helped a lot, smartypants.”
You chuckled. “Yeah, by bossing us around maybe.” you cocked up your eyebrow at him, making Jeonghan scoff in disbelief. “Alright, Miss know-it-all. What have you done, then?” he sighed, smiling at you.
You shrugged, letting him snatch your laptop from your lap. He scrolled through the webpage that was open, brows furrowing slightly as he took everything in.
“Wait, ducky, did you code this?” he looked at you, slightly raising his eyebrows as he waited for your reply. You only nodded.
“Huh,” he exclaimed, blinking at the screen. “How did you do that? Isn’t that like—hard?” he frowned. “I didn’t know you could do this,” he continued, a smile growing on his lips.
You rolled your eyes at him. “Well, I am majoring in software engineering, Jeonghan,” you explained, watching a pout grow on his face.
“Wow, I didn’t know that. How did I not know? You’re so talented, y/nnie,” Jeonghan smiled cheekily, pinching your cheek in affection. You whined as you slapped his hand away, laughing at him. “You never asked,” you chuckled, feeling a little shy.
“Mhm, you’re right. I guess I didn’t…” he clicked his tongue, remembering how he had never really spoken to you prior to getting paired together for the project, how getting to know you had been the least of his worries back then.
He smiled watching you trying not to sulk, finding it cute that you were obviously thinking about his past indifference as well.
“M sorry about that, ducky. I know I annoyed you a lot in the past,” Jeonghan looked at you, fingers instinctively finding your braid again. He ran the pad of his thumb down the textured hair, his eyelashes fluttering as he blinked slowly.
You rolled your eyes playfully, the corners of your mouth tugging up as you realized how much you despised him then. That same smirk that used to irk you whenever you caught Jeonghan’s mischievous expression from the back of class was now the very reason you felt so alive.
“You still annoy me,” you bit your lip trying to hide your smile, laughter bubbling from your throat when your words seemed to catch him off guard, his mouth opening in an ‘o’.
“You’re so gonna regret that.” Jeonghan smirked, quickly setting aside your laptop to tickle you. You let out a scream, trying to squirm away as his fingers crept up your sides to your armpits.
“Jeonghan! Stop!” you laughed, your body instinctively flinching from the attack.
Jeonghan giggled, his eyes almost manic as he relished in the reaction he was getting out of you. “My god, I don't think I’ve ever gotten you this loud, ducky,” Jeonghan smirked, getting one more squeal out of you before allowing you to grab his wrists to stop him.
The boy in front of you definitely did not realize how his words evoked a certain memory with you, cheeks growing hotter as you’re forced to replay the images you’d been actively pushing away for days.
You let go of his wrists when he spoke, “Alright, let’s work on this project then,” he hummed, completely oblivious as he opened your laptop.
You caught yourself looking directly at his mouth, a shameful kind of tingle spreading through your body. You forced your eyes away, looking at your lap instead. You missed his mouth, his kisses. You think you could kiss Jeonghan for hours if he let you. Oh my god, focus, you thought to yourself.
“You okay?” Jeonghan cocked up his brow as he noticed your tense body. You nodded.
“God, I hate this. Okay, whatever,” Jeonghan trailed off as he scrolled through your notes, already dreading having to waste his energy on school. “Did you know I once bribed a teacher so I didn’t have to do a group project?” he briefly looked up to catch your reaction, hiding a smirk as he started typing something.
“What?” You barely caught what he said, gulping when he started laughing out loud. “Just kidding. But it sounded quite believable, right?” he licked his lips, a lock of his hair falling in his eye.
You were sitting so close to each other. You only had to lean in and you could experience the same dizzying sensation of meeting his warm lips again.
So, you did. Jeonghan blinked in surprise when you gave him a chaste kiss, high on adrenaline and drunk on your desires, not giving him a chance to react before kissing him for a second time.
A part of you felt like crying, unable to place all the different kinds of thoughts and feelings that were whirling inside of you. It was all so unfamiliar, and you felt too vulnerable. If Jeonghan were to reject your advances you were afraid of how it would all manifest.
“y/n—“ Jeonghan’s words got muffled when you kissed him again, pushing your laptop away from his lap to kiss him properly.
His hands found your cheeks, tongue eagerly meeting yours as his body crowded you until your back met the mattress. Before you knew it he was already on top of you. “You little minx,” Jeonghan mumbled jokingly, squeezing your face before kissing you harder.
You knew you probably shouldn’t have initiated anything, but it all just felt so natural. You kept kissing him, sucking on his bottom lip before teasingly biting the supple skin. Jeonghan groaned, gripping your shoulders to keep you pinned below him.
“Thought you wanted to go see Soonyoung?” Jeonghan asked, moaning when you purposely tugged on the ends of his hair.
You shook your head, taking in a sharp breath when Jeonghan broke the kiss to tentatively encircle your throat with this hand—softly—just to see your reaction.
He seemed oddly surprised to see the aroused look in your eyes, smirking as he softly leaned in—only to stop right before his lips made contact with yours. He giggled meanly when you tried to kiss him back, a brief veil of shame tingling your body.
“Aw, you wanna kiss me that bad?” he cooed, pouting at you mockingly. Jeonghan loved to have you like this, all shy and nervous. So unsure.
“Are you not gonna answer me, ducky?” Jeonghan tightened his grip on your neck a little, biting his lip as he smiled cockily watching your eyes widen. Only, he easily could tell you wanted more.
“You like this, huh?” he grinned.
You tried to nod. “Like anything u do, Hannie,” you admitted, making him mumble a curse in response.
Your words only spurred him on more, and a euphoric feeling spread through his body as he watched you sprawled out underneath him with his hand fanned out over your throat. The sudden high caught him off guard.
He gave your nose a soft kiss, softly pulling away to look at you. He paused for a moment before letting go of you, smiling apologetically when you seemed confused.
“What’s wrong?” you whispered, frowning.
He sighed. “I don’t know about this, ducky,” Jeonghan slowly turned on his side and moved a lock of your hair from your face, not quite knowing why he suddenly felt this odd feeling brooding inside of his chest.
You mimicked him by turning on your side, staying quiet for a moment as you thought. “Do you… regret what happened?” you whispered, suddenly feeling insecure.
Jeonghan shook his head. “No. No, baby. You know I want to—It’s just—We shouldn’t, you know? We’re only…” he sighed, not finishing his sentence.
You slowly nodded, but you really didn’t care about what was right and what wasn’t. You didn’t want to say it, but you having sex had been because of Jeonghan initiating first. It was his fault, so you really didn’t care.
You leaned in to peck his pout. “I know… I do, just—just for a little bit, Hannie,” you got even closer, the tops of your fingers grazing his chest before finding their way down. Jeonghan stroked your cheek before leaning in to softly kiss you again, sighing as your hand brushed over his crotch.
Despite knowing what was right, he wanted this too. Jeonghan needed to have you. Over and over again.
He began to undo your jeans as your hand slipped down his, smiling as you started stroking his hardening cock.
Jeonghan moaned at the feeling of your hand pumping his length, biting his lip whilst the tips of his fingers teased your slit over your panties.
“No teasing.” you warned him, earning a knowing grin from the boy in front of you.
“Alright,” he released a shaky breath, fingers easily finding your wet clit to play with.
You were both still laying on your sides, and your head tipped back as pleasure bloomed inside of you. Jeonghan took the opportunity to kiss your neck, his teeth dragging across your skin to incite a gasp from you.
“More, Hannie,” you whispered, angling your hips for him.
Jeonghan sucked the skin under your ear, keeping his fingers at a set pace without straying from your bundle of nerves. He knew you’d be asking him for more soon, and that’s exactly why he didn’t plan on giving in just yet.
You squeezed his cock at the lack of response, making him meet your eye as you began moving your hand faster. You could just tell by the look he was giving you he was up to something, sighing at him in pleasurable annoyance.
You went even faster, earning a high-pitched whimper from Jeonghan, who still didn’t give you what you asked for.
Agitated, you halted all movement to hook your leg over his hip, pressing your lips against his while starting to grind your cunt against his hard cock.
Jeonghan firmly grabbed your hip, moaning against your lips as he grinded with you.
Your tongue slipped into his warm mouth, your arms encircling his head to keep kissing him.
Annoying, suffocating clothes found the floor, your bodies quick to find each other again after discarding all of the pieces of fabric.
“Fuck,” Jeonghan mumbled against your lips. He squeezed your ass, helping move you against him till the both of you were left panting in each other’s mouths.
“Please, Hannie. M-more,” you moaned at the friction of his length gliding between your pussy lips, his tip rubbing your clit as his balls pressed against your entrance.
Still, Jeonghan wanted to tease you. An image of you crying, begging for his cock haunted his head, and he needed to see that come true with his own eyes right this moment.
“Can’t,” he said between kisses, making you whine.
“Hannie…” you tried again, nibbling on his bottom lip.
Jeonghan smacked your ass hard, gripping your skin as he moved you harder against him. You moaned at the pain and pleasure, your hand finding a lock of his hair to hold onto.
“Y-Yes we can.” you softly tugged on his hair, commanding his attention. You pecked his lips softly, hoping to get what you wanted.
Jeonghan chuckled in amusement, spanking your ass again. “No.” he said, smiling at the hiss leaving your mouth.
He took notice of you getting agitated instead, figuring if he wanted you to cry for him he needed to fuck you to tears instead.
“Hurry, Jeonghan.” you complained in annoyance, having had enough of his games. Jeonghan hummed, giving you a soft kiss before moving a hand down to grab his hard cock. “You’re so needy,” he said in amusement before aligning his tip with your entrance, only getting a breathless sigh in response.
He sheathed himself inside of you in one go, moaning at the feeling of your pussy. Oh, how he’d missed this.
You whimpered at the stretch, hooking your leg tighter around his hip so it wouldn’t slide down.
Jeonghan started kissing you roughly before beginning to thrust, wrapping his arms around you to keep you pinned against his body. You moaned against his lips, gripping his locks for support as you relished in the feeling of him fucking you.
Still, he had this urge to be even closer to you, though he didn’t know how. Jeonghan rolled you on your back, looking into your eyes as he set a slower, much deeper pace.
“Hannie…” you sighed, cupping his cheeks to give him a long kiss. Jeonghan smiled at you when you pulled back, resting his forehead against yours as he kept going.
He suddenly felt the need to be gentle with you, to show you how much you had started to mean to him in such a short period of time. He couldn’t stop looking at your face—at the way your jaw tightened every time he bottomed out, or how your mouth opened and closed autonomously. Your drawn eyebrows twitched with every sound spilling out of you, the sounds like music to his ears.
You wrapped your legs around his waist, your hips stuttering at how deep he was. “Don’t stop,” you moaned, putting your arms around his torso. You bit your lip as you looked up at him, Jeonghan’s fingers slowly stroking up your side before he wrapped his arms around your body too. You looked at each other, room quiet apart from your mixed pleasure, together with the forgotten sounds of the bed creaking. Rhythmic, deep thrusts brought you both closer to the edge, your breathing getting louder as you forgot about the outside world. Or the situation you were in.
As you came around Jeonghan with a guttural moan, he found himself losing control. You pressed your lips to his, nails digging into his back at the peak of your orgasm. Jeonghan spilled inside of you next, holding you tighter with a groan to match yours.
Your body squirmed, hips slowly grinding against him as you came down from your high. You peeled your lips from Jeonghan, who tried to catch his breath as you gave him a smile.
Somewhere there, he contemplated if he’d just made love to you, blinking through his haze. Did he? Did you think so too?
He gave your cheek a peck before rolling off you, feeling your warm body seeking his. “Tired?” he asked, stroking your shoulder. You hummed while nodding, putting the covers over your bodies.
As Jeonghan lay on his back, catching his breath and watching your blinking, tired eyes grow heavier, it suddenly all made sense to him. The stubborn unwillingness to push Soonyoung to ask you out, the selfish need to keep you close for just a tad longer, or the odd knot in his stomach whenever he looked at you.
His eyes found your soft lips, swollen and chapped from kissing you for what felt like hours. Your mouth shyly curled up as you snuggled against him, the soft pads of your fingers stroking his chest before nuzzling your cheek against his arm. Your naked bodies pressed together, seeking closeness despite still feeling hot from the sex.
He felt it as he looked at you. A warm feeling spread through his chest, reaching every corner and crevice of his body.
Jeonghan had fallen for you.
Before he could stop himself he gently lifted up his hand to stroke your cheek, resisting the urge to sigh when your eyes closed instinctively.
He also realized he had been sabotaging your chances with Soonyoung—not intentionally, of course. Or maybe it was.
Fuck, he felt bad. He felt like an asshole for being so selfish. For falling in love with you.
A part of him screamed at him to just keep going like he had been. Just for a little bit. But it felt unfair to you, despite how much he liked spending time with you. It had been so easy making you a part of his life, his routine—as natural as breathing. He didn’t want it to end.
But he knew you were doing this for one reason only. It was his problem he had fallen for you, and from now on he knew he had to help you.
You were amazing, funny, and smart—And Soonyoung would see that too. He knew he would. He had to. And even though Soonyoung had never explicitly brought you up, you were insanely cute.
“Hey, y/nnie?” Jeonghan whispered, secretly hoping you would be already asleep.
“Hm?” you opened one eye before the other, making Jeonghan smile weakly as he started stroking your hair.
He almost couldn’t get the words out, his voice seemingly stuck in his throat. He forced a cough. “Maybe it would be a good idea to ask Soonyoung out yourself,” he suggested, his tone devoid of sincerity.
You blinked at him, your brain barely functioning with how tired you felt.
“Really?” you whispered, failing to hide the frown creasing your brows. The words almost hurt your stomach. Even if you wanted to, you didn’t think you’d have that kind of courage.
“Yeah. I forgot he’s kinda terrible at making the first move. He can be shy like that. He will definitely say yes, though,” Jeonghan nodded, giving you a smile.
Slowly, you nodded too. “I hope so.” you mumbled, making Jeonghan chuckle.
“I know so. Told you he thinks you’re cute,”
“Alright,” a smile slowly spread over your face. Jeonghan did know Soonyoung best, and if he thought it would work then you would at least try to gather your courage.
“Thank you, Hannie.” You kissed Jeonghan’s cheek before closing your eyes again, relaxing against his warm body as he pulled you closer.
You couldn’t help but feel sad it would really be over like this.
After three whole days of contemplating on how to approach Soonyoung, you were at a loss. It also didn’t help that Jeonghan hadn’t texted you at all in the last couple of days, which was unlike him.
You chewed on your bottom lip as you sat outside on a school bench, ignoring the background noise as the people around you went on about their day.
You really missed Jeonghan. And although you realized you had probably only played a small role in his life, and you had only started to get to know him for a short time, you grieved the time you spent together.
You exhaled a long sigh.
It didn’t matter anymore. This had all been for Kwon Soonyoung anyway.
You had spotted him twice in the last few days. Once on campus, and once sitting outside on the same bench you were sitting on now.
You were hoping he would walk by and spot you, and the conversation would flow naturally from there. A part of you was nervous you would actually see him, afraid you’d shut down and not know what to say, make a complete fool of yourself.
At least you’d have your answer then. You could go back to your boring life to study and not go out again in the safe bubble you’d lived in your entire life.
That had been your life, and you were happy with it. But now, the thought of going back to the way things were seemed boring to you.
No, you needed this to work. You were done sabotaging yourself.
All the doubt, the anxiety, the newfound reluctance that had been growing—it was all merely fear of change. Fear of stepping out of your comfort zone—and maybe, even fear of happiness.
This had all been so scary for you, so new and intense. But it would all be worth it soon. You prayed it would be.
“y/n?”
You snapped out of your haze to find Joshua standing in front of you, his lips curled up in a kind smile.
“Oh, Joshua,” you straightened your back and smiled back at him, noticing the black-rimmed glasses sitting on his nose. Jeonghan had once joked about him wearing them as a fashion statement, and you had to stop yourself from suddenly laughing in his face like a freak when you noticed the lack of lenses in them.
Thankfully, Joshua didn’t notice the weird smile showing on your face.
“How are you doing? I heard you’re getting cosy with Jeonghan these days,” he smirked as he sat down next to you.
You shyly chuckled, shrugging. Though Jeonghan had audibly called what you were doing ‘fake dating’, the two of you had never explicitly mentioned the D word to anyone. Just to avoid scaring off Soonyoung.
For some reason you felt bad for lying to Joshua. You felt like you had genuinely connected with him at the party, and though you hadn’t spent much time with him outside of that one night, you had this urge to tell him the truth.
He wasn’t just Soonyoung or Jeonghan’s friend anymore, he felt a little like yours too. You trusted him.
“It’s nothing,” you told him with a sigh, still pondering on what to do. Maybe a fresh perspective could give you some insight. You kinda needed someone to talk to about this, and what you and Jeonghan did was in the past now anyways.
“Oh? Sure doesn’t seem like nothing with those raunchy hickeys Jeonghan was walking around with the other day.” Joshua had a mischievous twinkle in his eye, and for a split second you could see Jeonghan in him. Maybe that's why you felt like you could be honest with him.
Your face heated up, trying to suppress a smile as Joshua grinned at you.
“Joshua, can I…tell you something? And promise it stays between us two?”
Joshua cocked up his brow in curiosity, but nodded nonetheless. “Of course,” he told you.
You let out a deep sigh. “Jeonghan is helping me get with Soonyoung,” you said carefully, afraid of what Joshua might think. “It’s just for show, or whatever.” you added, watching Joshua cross his arms over his chest.
“You’re not really together?” he asked, making you hum.
“So it’s all for Soonyoung? It’s him you like?” he frowned, and you nodded at him.
“Gosh, and here I thought Jeonghan finally stopped hiding that thing he had for you,” Joshua chuckled, shaking his head. You frowned at him. “Guess I was wrong,” he sighed with a smile.
“What thing?” you leaned into him, cocking your head to the side.
Joshua paused for a moment, blinking. “You know, the teasing in class, trying to get your reaction,” he explained as if you were aware he had actually been targeting you.
“What do you mean? He never teased me.” you frowned.
Joshua laughed at that. “Sure he did. He talked about you a lot, you know. How he loved getting a reaction out of you. You really never noticed?”
You pouted, confused. “I mean, he did annoy me. But I didn’t think it was targeted to me. I don’t think it was.”
Joshua laughed again, his eyes turning smaller as he did. “It definitely was,” he told you in amusement. “I always suspected he had a little crush on you, but he would never admit it to me. Just said he liked teasing you,” Joshua shrugged. “Guess I was wrong, since he’s helping you with Soonyoung.”
Slowly, you nodded. “Right,” you agreed. But there was an odd feeling in the pit of your stomach thinking about the concept of Jeonghan having a ‘thing’ for you.
“You sure looked convincing, though. I’ll give you that. You’ve got everyone fooled.”
His words didn’t reassure you like you had hoped they would. You and Jeonghan needed to look like you were into each other, but not too much. Because would Soonyoung really give you a chance if he thought Jeonghan and you were serious?
“What do you think I should do? Maybe this whole thing has gone too far already,” you chewed on your bottom lip, panic seeping through your body. You should’ve stopped after making out with Jeonghan. And you really shouldn’t have had sex with him. The speculation alone would be dangerous for your potential with Soonyoung.
Joshua put his hand on your shoulder. “I wouldn’t worry too much, y/n. Just go hang out with Soonyoung? If it feels good go ask him out.”
You sighed. “Alright,” you nodded. “I will.”
Joshua chuckled and pushed himself up, fixing the strap of his leather crossbody bag before briefly looking down at his phone to check the time.
“I’ve got to run. Tell me how it went?” he cocked up his brow.
“Okay.” you smiled a little. “Thanks, Joshua,”
Joshua winked at you, turning his body before quickly stopping himself and looking back at you again.
“Oh, and y/n?” he failed to hide a grin. “Try not to sleep with your fake boyfriend.”
You didn’t know how to react as he walked off theatrically.
As days passed, and you found yourself making more and more ridiculous excuses as to not approach Soonyoung, a sudden golden opportunity fell right in the palm of your hands.
Maybe you manifested it, since you hadn’t stopped daydreaming about all the different ways the talk you’d inevitably needed to have would turn out.
You were listening to some music as you did some minor grocery shopping, the basket in your hand filled with an array of fruits, vegetables, and a scandalous amount of snacks to balance everything out.
There was a soft tap on your shoulder, and you quickly turned around expecting you’d been in someone’s way, but instead saw Soonyoung’s chubby cheeks bulge in a cute way as he smiled at you.
You think you preferred the term God’s intervention.
“Hi,” you smiled shyly after taking out your earbuds.
“Hey! What’re you doing here?” Soonyoung giggled, clutching a protein bar in his hand.
You paused briefly. “Grocery shopping?” you said slowly, earning a laugh from the boy.
“Right. Of course.” Soonyoung laughed, peeking in your basket. “Cooking something tonight?”
You nodded. “That’s the plan. I just needed some vegetables for my stir-fry,” you chuckled.
“I wish I could cook. I’m banned from the kitchen,” Soonyoung scratched behind his ear, pouting.
You laughed at that. “Did you set off the fire alarm or something?”
“Twice...”
You laughed again, making Soonyoung smile. “You should cook for me sometime! Maybe I can learn from you.” he chuckled, and the request alone made your ears burn. Was he…?
“Y-yeah—Sure. I’m a good teacher,” you told him, and you suddenly noticed Soonyoung was wearing his football uniform.
“Oh. Do you have a game today?” The two of you slowly made your way to the cash register, chatting as you put your groceries on the conveyor belt.
“Yep. I’m about the head there right now,” he explained, waiting for you as you paid for your stuff. “You remember how we used to play together in elementary school?”
You chuckled at the memory as you walked out of the store together, reliving one of those moments in a very long time.
“The teacher didn’t allow me to play anymore at one point,” you smiled innocently, watching Soonyoung laugh out loud as he remembered exactly why.
“Yeah, because you would always kick the ball over the fence after losing.” he giggled, making you laugh as well.
“I was a sore loser,” you admitted with a shrug, smiling as you walked together. You briefly recognized how easy your conversation flowed with Soonyoung. Maybe you’d be able to muster up your courage after all.
“If you won’t throw our ball anymore, we can play again sometime,” Soonyoung suggested, making your stomach jump.
“Sure,” you replied in kind, as if you didn’t struggle to keep yourself from stuttering.
You made eye contact with Soonyoung, who smiled at you. You smiled back at him, but the corners of your mouth slowly started faltering as you realized you had to finally ask him out. You could faintly hear the yelling of a group of younger boys as you approached the football field, and you knew you had to act fast before it would already be too late.
“Hey, Soonyoung?” you called out his name a bit insecure, slowing your steps to fully get his attention on you.
Soonyoung lifted up his brows with that same smile, slowing down to match your pace, which came to an abrupt halt.
“Um,” you gulped. You took in a breath. “Do you… Would you like to go on a date—with me?” you inhaled deeply, trying to slow your breathing. You bit your bottom lip, already cursing yourself for your choice of words. Did you ask at the wrong time? Should you have asked differently?
When Soonyoung’s smile faded, and a confused expression took over his handsome face, you started rambling, “I mean—I’ve liked you since we were kids and—and—If you don’t like me like that then that’s fine too. I-I just thought—“
“y/n,” Soonyoung cut you off abruptly, placing his hand on your shoulder.
“You’re a very nice girl,” he started. You already knew what would follow.
“And you’re truly great, like really—“ Soonyoung paused before sighing. “I’m sorry y/n. I’m kinda seeing someone…” he said quietly, and by his tone you could tell he genuinely felt bad.
Slowly, you nodded at him. “Ah,” you forced a smile. “No worries.” you chuckled, but really you wanted to throw up.
“I’m sorry…” Soonyoung told you again, almost pouting.
“No—no, it’s alright,” you nodded again, not really knowing what to do next. You felt like you still wanted to ask him one thing, just so you wouldn’t spend months pondering on the what if’s.
“Did I ever have a chance?” you asked cautiously, knowing you probably wouldn’t like the answer.
Soonyoung blinked at the question, caught off guard. He looked down for a moment, seemingly thinking about the question before ultimately shaking his head, slowly.
You nodded understandingly. “Okay… Well, thank you for being honest, Soonyoung,” you briefly smiled at him, clearing your throat before speaking again, “I’ll see you around. Have a good game, okay?” you watched him nod apologetically before turning to walk away, chewing on the inside of your cheek as you started walking.
It wasn’t how you’d imagined heartbreak to be. It wasn't like your heart was breaking into a million pieces, you just felt…empty.
Tears welled in the corners of your eyes, fingers instinctively starting to reach for your phone before stopping yourself. You sniffled as you realized you had no shoulder to cry on anymore, a pitiful sob shaking your chest as you remembered Jeonghan had left you on delivered for a week.
There was purpose in your step as you made your way straight to the fraternity, not caring about any odd looks you were getting as you cried.
You merely wiped your face once before ringing the doorbell, trying and failing to slow your excessive breathing as you waited for the door to open.
The door swung open with a creak, revealing Mingyu with a smile on his face. “y/n!—Oh, what’s wro-“
“Where is he?” you sniffled, not waiting for an answer as you walked straight past Mingyu’s tall frame to Jeonghan’s bedroom.
You decided against knocking, opening the door to find Jeonghan laying on his bed scrolling on his phone. He lifted his head at the sound of the door opening, eyes widening as you walked in with wet cheeks.
“Where have you been?” you asked rather aggressively, eyebrows tightened as you tried to keep yourself from breaking down completely. Your lips trembled, walking up to Jeonghan who pushed himself to take in your current state.
“y/nnie… what’s wrong?” he asked, quickly getting up from the bed before your fist weakly collided against his chest.
“Why are you ignoring me?” you cried, fresh tears beginning to stream down your face. “I-I needed you and you disappeared,” you sobbed when Jeonghan’s arms pulled you in, hiding your face against his chest as he stroked your back comfortingly.
“I’m sorry…” Jeonghan whispered, kissing your temple before sighing.
You closed your eyes, holding him tightly as his familiar embrace warmed your body.
Jeonghan felt your body shake against his as you cried, pressing his cheek against your hair as his hand found your locks. “I’m sorry…” he said again, his chest burning painfully at the state you were in.
“He likes someone else.” you told him after a beat of silence.
Jeonghan sighed, softly shaking his head at what you were telling him. He felt horrible now, blaming himself for everything. For giving your false hope, for building up you confidence—only to watch it all crumble down before his own eyes. This wouldn’t have happened if he hadn’t been selfish.
“Fuck, y/n—I’m so sorry…” he apologized again, tightening his grip on you.
You sniffled, shaking your head. “‘s not your fault, Jeonghan.” you whispered, only making him feel worse.
If you only knew, Jeonghan thought. He should’ve never approached you back then. He’d spend time reflecting on his actions in the last few days as he kept his distance from you, knowing that deep down it had all been for his own self-gain. Annoying you, approaching you at the party. All along this had been about you and him, even if he didn’t realize exactly how much he liked you before he even offered to help you.
“It’s fine,” you concluded, sighing as you tried to stop yourself from crying. “It’s nothing new,” you croaked out, your voice breaking as you failed to stop the sob spilling out of you.
“Shh, ducky,” Jeonghan grabbed your cheeks to meet his eyes, wiping your wet cheeks with his thumbs as he looked at you. You gulped, tears brimming your pretty eyes.
“Can I please stay?” you whispered, fishing his shirt as you looked at him pleadingly. Jeonghan nodded, pushing his forehead against yours as he closed his eyes. “Of course, baby,” he sighed before pulling away from you.
Seeing you cry like this felt like a dagger to his chest. He wished nothing more than to take away your pain.
“You look so tired, ducky,” Jeonghan said while looking at you, wiping away another stray tear with his knuckle before nodding to his bed. “Take a nap, okay? Do you need anything? I can make you tea, or some snacks—“
“Just hold me, Hannie. Please?” you grabbed his hand, afraid he’d leave you.
Jeonghan nodded, giving you a weak smile as you crawled into bed together.
You sighed as you got comfortable against his chest, his warm arms already making you feel better. You nuzzled your cheek against him, resting your arm over his waist.
You smiled when Jeonghan looked at you, smiling back at you as he stroked your hair. You couldn’t help but laugh, the corners of Jeonghan’s mouth tugging up as he watched you. “What are you laughing at, weirdo?” he softly squeezed your cheek.
“I don’t know…” you admitted, your eyes feeling heavier as your exhaustion grew.
“Go sleep, okay?” Jeonghan whispered, making you nod.
You closed your eyes, softly sniffling as you became even more tired. You’d occasionally open your eyes to see Jeonghan looking back at you, your body becoming heavier as the minutes passed.
“Hannie?” you whispered tiredly after a while, fighting to keep your eyes open as he cocked up his eyebrows.
“Don’t leave again.” you told him, closing your eyes when he gently began to stroke your cheek.
Jeonghan smiled sadly as he watched you sleep, your soft snores painfully familiar. He really didn’t deserve you.
He didn’t know if he could keep promise what you were asking him, not when he had been the cause of your sadness.
“How many times are you going to keep checking your phone?” Joshua crossed his arms over his chest as he leaned against the lockers, grinning when you glared at him.
“I thought he would come today,” you pocketed your phone before starting to walk to your next class, Joshua humming next to you.
“I don’t know, he seems off lately,” Joshua shrugged, making you frown.
“He wasn’t at our project meeting today,” you pouted, resisting the urge to check your phone again. Thankfully Jeonghan wasn’t ignoring your messages anymore after seeing him, but that didn’t mean things were back to the way they were. Joshua was right, Jeonghan did seem off.
“How was that? You know, seeing Soonyoung,” Joshua asked carefully.
You bit your lip as you thought before shrugging. “It was fine.” you said casually, making Joshua cock up a brow.
“Really? You’re not, like, upset still?” you stopped walking once you reached your classroom, cocking your head to the side as you looked at Joshua. You then shrugged again.
“Not really…” you trailed off, pouting. “I feel oddly okay,” you nodded, giving Joshua a smile. Joshua hummed, not totally convinced. “Right,” he said, thinking.
Truth is, you felt… good. As though a weight had been lifted from your shoulders. You also didn’t really understand why, maybe you were still in denial, but you felt like you could finally start to let go of Soonyoung.
Joshua’s eyes strayed behind you when he spotted a figure resembling Jeonghan from the corner of his eye, watching his friend meet his eye before walking off without greeting him. Strange.
You followed his line of vision, looking over your shoulder to see Jeonghan’s back turning around the corner.
“Oh,” you said, perking up to give Joshua a quick look. “See you later, alright?” you told him before going to follow Jeonghan.
Joshua watched you jog to catch up to Jeonghan, sighing with a smile as you disappeared from his vision.
“Jeonghan!” you called once you got close to him, smiling as he turned to you, seemingly caught off guard.
“Hey. You weren’t at our meeting today,” you said, adjusting your bag that had slipped down from the short jog.
“Oh, y/n,” he cleared his throat awkwardly, making you frown. “I didn’t feel like coming,” he explained, his odd tone only leaving you more confused.
“Oh, well, we could really use your help next time. It’s kinda messy without you there,” you chuckled, smiling at him.
Jeonghan didn’t smile back at you, avoiding eye contact as he slowly opened his mouth to speak, “Listen, y/n… I’m—I’m dropping from the project,” he looked at you for a second, mumbling a ‘sorry’ before turning to enter the men’s restroom.
His words felt like a knife to the heart. “What?” you mumbled, gulping as he disappeared again. You were starting to believe you were dumb to trust Jeonghan. Maybe this was all a game for his own entertainment after all, because why else would he just drop you like this? Right after you asked out Soonyoung? The timing of it all was odd.
Anger bubbled up inside of you, shaking your head before following him inside. “What is your deal?” you spat, your jaw clenching as you watched him splash cold water in his face.
Jeonghan looked at you through the mirror before turning with a sigh. “Nothing. I just—“
“Why are you lying to me?” you asked, trying your best not to cry in front of him. Your chest burned, making fists of your hands as you watched him blink dumbly.
“I’m not lying, y/n.” Jeonghan raised his voice, only making you angrier.
“Yes you are. Why are you being like this?” you gulped, afraid you weren’t able to hold your tears for much longer.
“I thought we were friends.” you said quietly, your voice breaking.
Jeonghan swallowed a lump in his throat.
“Was all the time we spent together just a lie?” you felt a tear run down your cheek, all your fears swirling around inside of you. You couldn’t help but feel like you’d lost the only thing that had made you feel so alive these past few weeks.
Jeonghan’s face hardened, his jaw tensing hearing your words. He took a step closer to you, grabbing your underarm.
“I like you, y/n.” he said, the words making your stomach drop.
“Can’t you see?” he added quietly.
You didn’t know what to say, the noise in your head and the way Jeonghan was looking at you overwhelming you. You took a step back, slowly shaking your head as you made sense of it all. The lights in the bathroom were too bright, the sounds of the people in the hallway too loud. You could hear your heart pounding out of your chest and you wondered if Jeonghan could hear it too—you needed to leave.
Jeonghan took a step forward again, not ready to let you go before finally laying his heart bare. “Stop having a crush on Soonyoung.” he whispered pleadingly, softly grabbing your hand in his. Your breath hitched.
“And come back to me.” his frustration softened into a plea, big eyes plagued with vulnerability as he waited for your reaction.
You can’t do this.
You pulled your hand away, not saying a word as you rushed out of the bathroom, leaving Jeonghan by himself.
Tears clouded your vision, your head spinning and mind running as you rushed home. You couldn’t help but wonder if this had been the whole reason Jeonghan had offered to help you with Soonyoung. A part of you told yourself Jeonghan wasn’t that kind of person, yet you couldn’t confidently say you wouldn't have done the same.
What did he even see in you? For how long had he liked you? And was he ever even helping you?
You hid under the covers in your bed, the warmth of the blanket comforting you a bit as you cried soundlessly. Why didn’t you feel angry?
Maybe it had something to do with you not being upset after getting rejected by Soonyoung.
Did you even really want Soonyoung? Or maybe you just liked the idea of being wanted by someone.
You exhaled a shaky breath, hugging your pillow to your chest. You were so confused by everything. You knew you should feel some kind of way about this—whether it be anger or resentment—but the only thing you really wanted was to be hanging out with Jeonghan again. You imagined how things were before they all went wrong—talking, laughing for hours. Falling asleep next to him.
His absence had hollowed you out these past few days. Soonyoung had never made you feel special. But Jeonghan… Jeonghan saw you. Everything you’d been longing for had been so easy for him to give.
Maybe if you hadn’t been so wrapped up in the idea of liking Soonyoung, you would’ve seen what was in front of you all along. Maybe if this whole thing hadn’t started as a lie, your feelings would’ve been easier to untangle. But the one thing you couldn’t ignore was that you couldn’t lose Jeonghan.
The sky had darkened once you finally forced yourself out of your bed, dried tears decorating your cheeks as you rumbled through your bag to snatch your laptop. Maybe some trashy reality tv would help distract you.
As you lifted the laptop, a familiar object tumbled on the floor, rolling until it stilled in front of you.
You lip twitched seeing your duck pen, your stomach twisting painfully. You bend down to pick it up, looking at it for a moment before taking in a sharp breath, lifting your arm to launch it straight against the wall with a pitiful whine.
“Woah! What the hell?” Jaehee stood in the opened doorway with a puzzled look on her face, taking a second to evaluate the current state she’d found you in before slowly closing the door behind her.
“What’s going on in here? Are you okay?” she pouted before engulfing you in a tight hug. You shook your head, sighing and resting your face against her shoulder.
“Talk to me.” she whispered, rubbing your back.
“You’ll think I’m crazy,” you sighed.
“I just paid a witch to curse Mingyu. I can handle crazy,” Jae let go of you to sit down on the bed with you, grinning at the cackle leaving your mouth.
“Fuck—okay,” you rubbed your face. “Long story short: Jeonghan and I were never a thing. It was all a ploy to get Soonyoung. I asked him out a couple of days ago but he rejected me—“ Knowing how long you’d liked Soonyoung for, Jaehee already started pouting. “—But I’m fine—Oh, and Jeonghan just told me he likes me and then I ran away.” you finish with a sigh, making Jae’s eyes widen in surprise at the sudden twist.
“That’s a lot to unpack,” she started, looking at you. “I don’t suppose you’re throwing stuff because you don’t like him back and feel incredibly sorry for it?” she asked almost sarcastically, crossing her arms over her chest.
You sighed and shook your head.
“So you do like him? Then what’s the problem?”
You blinked at her. “I… I don’t know,” you frowned, looking down at your lap. “It’s not that simple.”
Jae raised a brow. “What’s not simple? You like him, he likes you. Where’s the disaster in that?”
“You make it sound so easy,” you muttered.
She let out a breath, then softened, reaching for your hand. “y/n, you really need to stop thinking so much.” A small smile tugged at her lips.
You sighed. “It’s just—I don’t think I allowed myself to feel what I felt when I was with Jeonghan. I pushed it away, convinced myself all of those feelings were fake since they were supposed to be. What if I give it a shot and find out I was right?”
“You’re too stuck in your own head. I’ve seen the two of you. You can’t fake the way you look at each other—unless you’re both Oscar-worthy actors, which I seriously doubt,” she chuckled.
You bit your lip, slowly nodding.
“Well, text him.” Jaehee bumped her shoulder against yours, your chest tightening at the thought of Jeonghan. Your face grew hot.
“Text him to come over,” she encouraged you, the corners of her mouth lifting up. You shifted on the bed, pouting as you thought it over.
Jae sighed at your apprehension and pulled out her phone, her nails tapping against the screen as she typed.
“What are you doing?” you asked meekly, watching your friend turn off her phone with a satisfied expression on her face. “He’ll be here soon.” she only told you, her hands resting in her lap demurely.
You blinked in surprise. “Huh?” you frowned. “Wha-What did you just send him?” you tried to reach for her phone, but Jaehee hastily got up from your bed moving her finger at you disapprovingly. “Nah-ah,” she sang, barely making an effort to hide the smirk on her face.
“Jae.” you warned her, pushing yourself up slowly.
“It’s nothing bad, promise! I just let him know that I can’t find you anywhere and your location is turned off,” she shrugged, making you gasp.
“That’s not nothing!” you raised your voice, crossing your arms over your chest with a sigh.
Jaehee exhaled a breath, giving you a smile as she hugged you again. “Don’t panic. Don’t you deserve to figure out what you’re really feeling?” she whispered, patting your head. You knew she was right. You nodded.
“Remember how it felt being his friend and just go from there,” she created some space between your bodies to look at you, smiling when you whispered a soft ‘okay.’
The two of you gave each other a look at the sound of a notification, reading Jeonghan’s ‘omw now’ message together.
“He won’t take long,” Jae told you, making you inhale a sharp breath. “I’ll meet him at the door, okay? Just—Just wait here, y/n.” she said, looking at you for a second before starting to leave your bedroom.
The room fell quiet after that, your nerves buzzing louder than anything else. You couldn’t sit still, shifting on the bed as your mind raced. Every second felt like forever—until a knock sounded at the door.
“y/n?!” Jeonghan rushed inside with a panicked look on his face, eyebrows drawn with a pair of big eyes meeting yours. “Are you okay?” he sighed, visibly relaxing at the sight of you unharmed.
You gulped, looking at him for a moment before abruptly getting up. You hastily grabbed the duck pencil from the floor and shoved it into his hand.
“I don’t want this back.” you said firmly, your jaw clenching as you looked at him with manic eyes.
He froze, staring at the object in his palm with confusion before lifting his gaze to you. Your anger faltered when you met his eyes, his pretty face making your own features soften despite yourself.
You gave him a small, sad smile.
“Hannie…” you whispered, tears burning in the corners of your eyes.
Your lip shook, pushing your face against his chest before you could stop yourself.
“I told you to never leave me again…” you mumbled, smiling at his familiar, comforting scent despite your tears. You put your arms around his body, embracing him tightly. “Please don’t…” you looked up at him, vulnerability creeping in at what you were saying.
Jeonghan only looked at you, his pink lips slightly ajar before meeting together in a subtle pout.
You realized it then, how oblivious you had been this entire time. How you needed Jeonghan as much as you needed air. How much you couldn’t live without him—and, finally, how much you loved him.
“y/n…” Jeonghan whispered, really hoping he wasn’t wrong about what you were getting at.
Your lips curled up in a smile, softly cupping his cheeks before pulling him down to meet your lips with his. Jeonghan gasped against your mouth, wrapping his arms around your waist to pull you as close as he could have you.
You bit your lip shyly when you finally pulled away, seeing Jeonghan smile back at you in a way that made your chest tighten.
“I like you too, Hannie,” you said softly, reaching for his hand to link your fingers together. Jeonghan’s eyes shrunk as he smiled at you, keeping his free arm wrapped around you to keep you pressed close against him.
“You like me, ducky?” he asked dumbfounded, squeezing your hand in his.
You shyly looked away, your smile growing wider as you nodded. “Yes…yes I do…” you told him, your face burning when you looked at him again.
“I didn’t even want to think about Soonyoung, because—because you were there. I didn’t want our time to end, Jeonghan.” you whispered, frowning. “The thought of losing you… I couldn’t do it. I just need you.” you confessed, gulping nervously.
Jeonghan giggled hearing your words, leaning in to kiss you hard. “Fuck, I’m such an idiot. I should’ve just asked you out from the start.” he breathed, pecking your lips again.
He pulled away to look at you, a hint of vulnerability creeping in his big eyes. “You really like me?” he asked again, his lips curling up in a shy smile as he looked at you expectantly.
You gently stroked his cheeks, your body tingling as you nodded. Looking at him, you couldn’t believe this was actually happening.
“Yes, Hannie.” You sighed, your heart beating out of your chest.
Jeonghan hugged you tightly, and somehow you were starting to feel emotional—the feeling reminded you of the first time he had held you in his bedroom. It felt as if you were coming home to a warm home after a long rainy day. It felt like drinking your favorite brand of coffee after a vacation, or having a dream you didn’t want to wake up from.
You closed your eyes and listened to his heartbeat, slowly calming down from all of the adrenaline.
You suddenly remembered what Joshua had told you, breaking the silence with a sudden silent laugh.
“Hm?” Jeonghan stroked your hair, smiling as he imagined what you could be thinking of.
“Did you try to annoy me on purpose? I mean—In class?” you pulled back to look at Jeonghan’s face, watching him blink at you in confusion before slowly grinning mischievously.
“Of course. Loved to see how many angry looks I could get from you,” he smiled, making you tsk. “I think I already kinda liked you back then, even if I didn’t realize,” he admitted with a chuckle. “You were always so polite. Even if you were shy you would smile at everyone,” his smile widened as he imagined it in his head.
“You really got on my nerves.” you hit his arm, making him only smile wider.
“Yeah?” he teased you, wrapping his arms around your shoulders before giving you a kiss.
“So you don’t want me to stay?” he asked, cocking his head to the side with a playful smile.
You tried to hide how giddy you felt, your cheeks burning at his question.
“Well, ducky?” he prodded, half teasing, half hoping you’d give him the green light.
You got close enough to kiss him again, feeling Jeonghan sigh against your lips as you slowly pushed him back on the bed with you.
The kiss deepened until all you could taste was him, warm and steady, the kind of sweetness that was becoming harder to imagine ever living without. Hands groped and lingered, yanking down fabric until the heat radiating off your bodies mixed together.
Jeonghan rolled on top of you, taking his time kissing you from your lips down to your belly button as his eyes admired the sight of you. You bit your lip feeling his tongue lick a slow stripe on your upper thigh before inching down to your pussy, softly gasping when his warm tongue found your clit.
Despite you not talking, you could feel that warm energy filling up the room, consuming you whole as Jeonghan savored you. You knew he felt it too, gentle fingertips brushing against your sides, hazed eyes watching you gasp and moan attentively.
Your body writhed feeling him go faster, biting your lip as your tummy burned. Before you would find yourself lost in the deep end, your shaky hand reached for Jeonghan’s to stop him.
If you were gonna cum, you wanted to do so with him. You needed him as close as you could have him, cupping his cheeks to bring him on top of you.
“Yeah?” Jeonghan whispered against your mouth in the middle of a kiss, making you nod. “Yeah.” you answered, pecking his lips as you looked in his eyes.
Jeonghan glided his tip over your entrance, collecting your wetness before slowly inching in, stretching you deliciously before bottoming out.
“God,” Jeonghan breathed, pushing his lips against yours with an almost desperate plea while slowly starting to grind against you.
You moaned fruitlessly when he set a faster pace, making Jeonghan echo your sounds at the way you were squeezing his cock. “C’mere,” he sighed, moving your legs over his thighs to feel you even deeper. Jeonghan linked your fingers together, pinning them down on the mattress as he licked into you.
“Hannie,” you squeezed his hands, feeling the muscles in your body tighten. You think you could already cum like this, closer to him than you’ve ever been.
Jeonghan nodded, sucking on your bottom lip hard enough to form a bruise. All you could hear were your breaths and whimpers, and all you could feel was the closeness you shared.
“Cum, baby. Cum for me?” he asked breathlessly, going faster again. You let out a loud moan, nodding in agreement as the sound of skin slapping echoed through the room.
“Fuck.” you whimpered, squirming against him as pleasure overtook you. You moaned again as you came around his cock, feeling Jeonghan’s warmth erupt inside of you as your walls clenched around him fruitlessly.
Your head spun, Jeonghan’s whimpers falling on deaf ears before grounding you with a soft kiss.
“I love you.” Jeonghan whispered out of breath, blinking as he looked at you with big eyes.
A shy smile spread over your face, your chest tightening at the words coming out of his mouth.
“I love you.” you whispered back, feeling as if this moment weren’t real.
Jeonghan’s lips curved up into the smallest, almost disbelieving smile before he hid his face in the crook of your neck. He gently let go of your hands to embrace you instead, peppering kisses on your shoulder.
“You’re mine now—for real this time.” Jeonghan said, lifting his head to look at you again. A smirk tugged at his features, humming at the smiley, almost shy nod you gave him.
“My girlfriend,” he giggled sweetly, giving your cheek a kiss.
“My ducky.” he whispered, nuzzling his forehead against yours.
“Hannie…” you laughed, but you couldn’t contain the smile playing on your lips.
Somewhere through the quiet whispers and hours of laughter you realized you didn’t feel alone anymore. You didn’t feel unlovable—you felt wanted, like every stolen kiss and every teasing joke was stitching something whole inside of you, something you had once believed could never belong to you.
You knew whatever you and Jeonghan were doing wasn’t real—not really. But a part of you had started to wonder. You could feel that same warmth you’d come to resent starting to bloom, and it scared you.
pairing jeonghan x f!reader word count 24.2k tags non-idol au, college au, fake dating, enemies? to friends to lovers, humor, angst, jealousy, conflict, jeonghan being a menace, pet names, dom!jeonghan, sub!reader, teasing, a lot of making out, dry humping, fingering, big!dick jeonghan, unprotected sex, riding, missionary, hickeys, creampies, cock warming, multiple smut scenes, grinding, spanking, mention of dacryphilia, love making warnings smut, cursing, alcohol, mentions of smoking
thank you @sanaxo-o @nerdycheol for beta reading ♡
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You were always intimidated by Yoon Jeonghan. From the moment you first saw him in class you could tell he thought everyone was below him. The way he paraded around campus with that shit-eating grin on his face, perfect pink lips always knowing just what to say. His brown eyes seemed to always seek you out for some reason, as if he purposely wanted to get on your nerves.
So, right there and then, before even having spoken a single word to him, you decided to avoid him at all costs.
You didn’t pay him any mind for the rest of the year, blocking him out whenever you happened to catch sight of him, or whenever you heard his stupid voice in any of the shared classes you were in.
It isn’t until the second year or college that you’re forced to interact with him for the first time, being grouped together for an assignment.
Now if that wasn’t bad, you curse your luck once you realize one of the other guys in your group happened to be your lifelong crush out of all people, the loud Kwon Soonyoung.
You didn’t even know he’d been taking the same class as you, as for you hadn’t even seen him once since the start of the semester.
The worst part of it all is finding out he and Jeonghan seemed to be the best of friends, laughing amongst themselves as they entered the study hall. The last guy, Lee Seokmin, jogged behind them to catch up to them, a wide smile on his face whilst hitting Soonyoung’s shoulder.
Just great. He was a part of their little clique as well.
You'd walked into the study hall almost confidently, thinking you were adult enough to deal with Yoon Jeonghan. But Soonyoung? Your stomach churned with anxiety.
Soonyoung's eyes lit up as soon as he saw you, catching you off guard with a sudden, friendly hug.
"You know y/n?" Seokmin cocked up his eyebrows, watching his older friend nearly crush a seemingly random girl from class.
"Of course! We went to elementary and middle school together." he smiled, finally letting go of you. You hoped they couldn’t tell just how flustered the embrace had made you, your eyes blinking as you tried to regain composure.
“What a crazy coincidence! I didn’t know we’re going to the same college,” Soonyoung chuckled, shrugging off his backpack before mindlessly taking a seat next to you.
You almost pouted at his words. Whilst you were very aware of his presence, Soonyoung didn’t seem to have been aware of yours.
“Yeah, crazy.” you laughed it off, trying not to sound too awkward. “I didn’t know you were in this class…” you trailed off, blindly opening your laptop.
Seokmin exhaled an amused breath. “Because he skips all his classes.” he said, taking a seat next to Soonyoung.
“Hey, not all… I just hate Business Management.” the boy sighed, pouting as he rummaged through his worn down backpack.
You fought a smile hearing them banter, shyly looking down at your laptop screen.
"Alright, if the little reunion is over let's just start and get this over with, hm?" Jeonghan grumbled, forced to sit on the other side of you.
You tried not to roll your eyes, the two others simply humming in agreement.
It took a near hour to decide on a solid plan, taking note of all the important topics and details. The dynamic between the group of friends had you surprisingly amused to say the least, catching yourself chuckling along to the little jabs the friends aimed at each other.
"Okay, so, Seokmin," Jeonghan pointed his pen at him. "You will pick a company to help us with formulating three products." his pen moved to Soonyoung. "You'll design the logo of our website and the color scheme."
The ball point pen moved to you now. "y/n, you'll design our website. Just pick some template on one of those website builders. Make it look pretty, but please, no pink." he sighed.
Your lips pressed together, feeling slightly agitated at his words. Make it look pretty, you're sure he was aware of how condescending he sounded, not even acknowledging the fact your major was software development.
"What will you do, hyung?" Soonyoung asked, and you were more than curious to know this too.
Jeonghan clicked his pen, looking over at his friend.
"I'll set up the meetings, oversee all your work and help where help is needed." he said, slumping in his chair. You resisted the urge to roll your eyes.
The two others seemed content with his answer. You didn’t argue with that, not having the energy over some stupid class you didn’t even care for.
"Alright then." Seokmin clapped his hands together loudly, earning the attention of a few other students in the study hall. "Since Jeonghan hyung seems in such a rush to leave, let's meet up again next week?" he asked. You nodded, grabbing your backpack to put away your stuff.
"I'll make a group chat." Seokmin added, looking over to you briefly. You hummed, giving him a small smile of acknowledgement.
Jeonghan left first, and you walked out the study hall with the two other boys by your side.
"Oh my god, I'm so happy to see you!" Soonyoung nudged your shoulder lightly, gripping the straps of his backpack while he walked with you. You chuckled shyly. "Yeah, me too."
You chose not to tell him how you’ve seen him around campus countless times, feeling like a bit of a loser at the way you’d been keeping your eye on him like a young girl with a schoolgirl crush—and in a way you were just that.
"We should hang out! Do you live on campus?" he asked. You made eye contact with him, smiling at his question. "I’m over at the sorority. Are you guys in the fraternity together?"
The boys nodded. "We all are." Seokmin told you.
"You should come to the party tomorrow, it'll be fun!" Soonyoung said.
You'd sworn off drinking a while ago, not wanting it to get in the way of your studies, yet the offer sounded convincing enough, and the thought of getting closer to Soonyoung made your chest thump.
"Ahh, come on! Don't tell me you've never been to one of our parties before." Soonyoung grinned when you paused, fully turning his body to you.
A laugh escaped your mouth. "Well, I haven't. But... since you asked," you flashed him a smile, their sounds of approval hitting your ears.
"Perfect! We'll see you there, y/n." Seokmin smiled.
Your friend sneaked an arm around your waist, pulling you into her body while the two of you walked to the fraternity a few blocks over.
"I can't believe you're finally coming with me!" Your best friend Jaehee declared loudly. She squeezed your hip. "You have to see Mingyu tonight, he's so fucking fine. We’ve been texting for days now!"
You rolled your eyes playfully, not too keen on meeting one of her flings again.
When the two of you entered the fraternity, the notorious ΙΖ', you were immediately greeted by the luring smell of alcohol and weed. The large body of people were scattered all around the extensive common room, most grouped together chatting with their respective friends in the open space between the kitchen and living room.
Your face scrunched a bit trying to adjust to the loud music, your friend immediately dragging you to a corner where a group was hanging out.
"Jae!" the loud voices greeted your friend excitedly, the tallest of them instinctively putting an arm around her.
She welcomed them with a smile, moving to pull you right next to her. "Guys, this is y/n!” she grinned. “y/n, this is Mingyu," she looked at the handsome boy next to her before pointing to the others. "Joshua, Eunwoo and Jeonghan." You made eye contact with Jeonghan, his big eyes already staring back at you.
"Hi y/n, it’s nice to meet you. Did you finally decide to join us?" Joshua smiled, giving your shoulder a small squeeze. You met his gaze, his sweet eyes resembling those of crescent moons as he smiled at you.
You didn’t know whether to feel thankful your friend had seemingly been so openly talking about you, but you were happy you were being welcomed so warmly. You returned his smile, nodding before speaking, "Yeah... It looks like you got quite the party here." you chuckled.
"I told you it'd be fun!" Jaehee lighty shoved you, a loud voice suddenly interrupting your conversation.
"Hey! You made it!" Soonyoung squeezed between you and Joshua, a smile on his sweet face while he settled his gaze on you. Your body instantly became warm, and you swallowed a lump in your throat not knowing what to say. You could tell by the flush on his cheeks he was a few drinks ahead of you.
"Let's take a shot!" he exclaimed happily, handing you a full shot glass you hadn’t seen him hold before. His gaze turned a bit more serious as if he realized something, hectic eyes frantically looking around as his lips pressed together in a tight line.
His eyes lit up as soon as a certain person walked by, and he snatched a full glass of booze from their hands with an innocent giggle. "Thanks Jihoonie!" he laughed, earning him a blank stare from the guy, who carried on walking, uninterested.
You laughed as he clinked his glass against yours, downing the entire cocktail down quickly. You watched him for a second before deciding to take the shot, the bitter taste making you cringe.
The group in front of you didn’t seem too concerned by what was happening, already wrapped back up in whatever conversation they had before you and Jae joined them.
"You want another? Or maybe a mixed drink? I’m good at those," Soonyoung put his hand on your shoulder, looking at the kitchen for a moment before settling his hazy eyes back on you.
“If you don’t make it too strong,” you smiled timidly, the words leaving your lips before you could even think them over. Soonyoung gave you a sharp nod, disappearing into the crowd.
Your eyes briefly met Jeonghan again before clumsily looking over at your friend, who seemed too busy to talk to you.
“You know Soonyoung?” Joshua closed the space between the two of you again, face angled down close to yours.
You nodded. “We went to the same school when we were kids,” you told him, playing with the empty shot glass in your hands. He chuckled. “Wow, what a coincidence.” He took a drag of his vape, the fruity cloud of smoke dancing above you. You nodded. “Yeah, we were grouped together for a Business Management project.”
“Business Management? Doesn’t Jeonghan also take that class?” he looked over to his friend, who looked up at the mention of his name. You nodded, telling him Jeonghan and Seokmin were all in your group as well.
“Good luck with that.” Joshua grinned knowingly. “I wouldn’t be able to focus much with those three bickering all the time.” he snickered, looking at his friend who just rolled his eyes.
You smiled. “So far so good.” You hoped to at least get a smile from the boy in front of you, deciding the grudge you held against him might have been a little unfair to him. But Jeonghan dismissed your kindness by ignoring you completely, instead saying something to Eunwoo beside him.
You resisted the urge to show your newfound irritation, shifting your attention back to Joshua.
From the corner of your eye you saw Eunwoo nod, and the two of them left quietly, leaving you four in the corner.
Joshua really knew how to make you feel comfortable, striking up a conversation with you about your majors and some of your interests, the exchange soon shifting into your shared hobby of baking.
When Mingyu and Jae disappeared after a heated make out session you and Joshua briefly cringed at, the two of you were the only ones left. Joshua soon dragged you to the backyard to smoke, joking alcohol made him crave cigarettes.
You were seated on one of the couches outside, a full glass of alcohol in your hand that one of the hosts, Joshua’s friend, had poured you—reminding you of the drink Soonyoung had promised you before, most likely, drunkenly having forgotten about it.
Just shortly after the realization you coincidentally spotted him, and your stomach turned when you saw what exactly was going on. Soonyoung was making out with some girl on the other side of the garden, tongue and all, making you see green with jealousy.
Your innocent crush might’ve not been completely innocent—not when the sight in your peripheral vision impacted you this much.
Your glass was empty now, and you set it on the table in front of you to push yourself up. This caught the attention of Joshua, who’d been busily chatting with the random people you’d grouped up with outside for the last half hour.
“Are you leaving?” Joshua put his hand around your wrist, looking up at you with a frown on his face.
“I don’t feel so good, I need some water,” you told him, making him loosen his grip on you. You had this weird urge to isolate yourself—to flee. “Are you okay? I can get it for you.” His eyes softened upon hearing your words.
You shook your head. “It’s okay, thanks Joshua. I’ll be right back.” you shot him an assuring smile before quickly walking back inside, right past the kitchen to the corridor.
Fuck. Why did you feel so jealous over Soonyoung? It’s not like you were ever close to him.
Maybe you’d been an idiot hoping to catch Soonyoung’s attention, not when he barely paid any attention to you in the first place. He never noticed you in school. The secret glances, soft laughter you tried to hold in whenever he and his friends joked around in class. He didn’t even know you were attending the same college, for god's sake.
Now you felt even worse. You decided to walk straight outside through the front door—away.
“Leaving already?”
You jumped at the sudden voice, eyes locking with Jeonghan who you saw leaning against the white brick house. He eyed you with his arms crossed over his chest.
“Fuck, you scared me.” you instinctively pressed your hand against your thumping chest. Jeonghan seemed to observe you carefully, eyebrows furrowed like he was deep in thought.
“Everything okay?” he suddenly asked you. The question surprised you. Jeonghan didn’t seem the type to entertain people he didn’t care about.
“Um, yeah,” you responded meekly. “Just going home.” you shrugged, fully ready to walk off.
Jeonghan hummed, pushing himself off the wall to get a bit closer to you. You stopped moving, your shoulders slumping a little while looking at him. Jeonghan checking up on you was as odd as it was out of character, but continuing to want to talk to you? By choice? You were stunned.
“Let me guess,” he smiled, clearly already very amused by whatever was about to come out of his mouth. “This has something to do with Soonyoung.” He almost grinned, and his arms remained crossed as he waited for your reaction.
The look on your face only made him smile wider, looking like he had won the lottery.
“I knew I would be right.” he mumbled under his breath, chuckling in an irritating way. “I’m good at this…” he seemed amused, waiting for you to defend yourself.
You forced yourself to laugh, shifting your weight awkwardly as the stiff sound croaked out of you. “What are you talking about?” you held your breath awaiting his next words, but some part of you knew he had you right where he wanted you.
“I mean,” the look in his eyes shifted into something you couldn’t describe. “You have a thing for Soonyoung. It’s very obvious.”
Your chest felt tight. Was is really that noticeable?
“For…for Soonyoung?” you laughed as if his take had been completely wrong. “Why would you think that?” you continued, the quirk of his lip only sputtering you on more. You hoped he couldn’t notice how flustered you were becoming.
Jeonghan laughed, the nasal sound ripping from his throat surprising you. You realized you’d never seen this side to him—almost happy.
“I can help you.”
Your eye twitched. There was a brief silence as Jeonghan anticipated your response, his mouth slightly agape as his eyebrows rose.
“Huh?”
Your confusion made him giggle, dropping his arms down next to his body to fully close the space between you. “Listen,” he started, licking his lips. “I will help you get Soonyoung.” You were suddenly feeling very self-conscious having him so close to you.
“I’m not surprised he hasn’t noticed, since he’s oblivious as it is,” he continued. You looked away at his words, chewing on the inside of your cheek.
“He’s one of my best friends, so it won’t be that hard.” he hummed, taking you in.
You forced yourself to look back into his eyes, a silent exhale passing through your lips. This had to be some kind of setup. There had to be something behind it he wasn’t telling you.
“Who says I want your help?” you glared at him, furrowing your eyebrows.
Jeonghan seemed to like your answer, a wide smile spreading on his face.
“Suit yourself. I’ll tell him about your little crush myself.”
Your eyes widened a bit, looking at him in disbelief.
“Why do you even care that much, Jeonghan?” you crossed your arms, a part of you knowing very well he would happily inform his friend of your stupid secret.
“I’m bored.” he simply grinned, his expression one of an evil mastermind.
Despite already having agreed with Jeonghan beforehand, you felt nervous about sitting next to him in class. You liked sitting near the front, a bit meticulous about having little to no distractions while taking your notes and listening to whatever your teacher had to say.
Jeonghan always sat in the far back of the class, less caring about the lesson and more about doing whatever it was he was back there. You could always hear him snicker about something, probably because of Soonyoung or Seokmin, treating the hour-long lesson like their own personal bar despite already living together and practically being together most of their time.
Today you sat in the back, jumping in your seat when Jeonghan loudly dropped his bag on the table next to you. You snapped out of your daze, looking up to see the boy already smirking at you.
“You didn’t chicken out,” he observed aloud, as if he thought you would actually back out of his genius plan to catch Soonyoung’s attention. As if the threat of not listening to him didn’t come with consequences.
“I’m a little surprised to be honest.” he chuckled, sitting down next to you.
You sighed, following him with your eyes. “Why?” you decided to take the bait. Jeonghan only smiled. “Nevermind. It’ll be more fun this way.” he hummed, carelessly throwing his phone down on the table. “I already have some things in mind, you’ll see,”
You didn’t even want to imagine what he was implying, rolling your eyes before pulling out your notebook and pen.
“Aigoo.” Jeonghan laughed seeing your pastel pink pen, the top decorated with a cute little duck. Your cheeks burned.
Before you could protest he snatched it from your hand, giggling as he observed it up close.
“How cute. Did you name him?” he grinned, loving how embarrassed you looked. “No.” you hissed, trying to get it back from him. Jeonghan tsked with a smile, avoiding your hand before excitedly scooting closer to you.
He held the pen right front of you, wiggling it in front of your face as he started speaking with a high pitched voice. “Please save me from Hannie! I feel so sad without you, y/n.” he laughed at himself, spinning the duck’s head towards him.
He cleared his throat, giving the object a serious look. “I’ll keep you with me today, but I promise I will give you back to y/n later. Now, tell her goodbye.”
“Seriously?” you grumbled, watching him put the duck back in front of your face.
“Bye y/nnie! See you later!” he said in the same, annoying voice, making a loud kissing sound as he briefly pressed the duck’s beak against your lips.
“Jeonghan!” you complained, pushing his arm away as he laughed. Right as you did so, Soonyoung and Seokmin walked in, the latter visibly surprised you were sitting next to Jeonghan.
“Oh, y/n!” Soonyoung smiled, plopping down in the seat in front of Jeonghan. You smiled at him, suddenly feeling very conscious of Jeonghan’s little plan—which he failed to explain the exact logistics of.
“Hi guys.” Seokmin greeted. He sat down in front of you, his back turned to you as he rumbled through his backpack.
“Hyung, didn’t you say you disliked y/n?” Soonyoung asked, leaning over the backrest of the chair as he looked at his friend obliviously. By his tone you could tell he didn’t mean it in a bad way, he was genuinely interested. Soonyoung always had a way of blurting out whatever he had on his mind.
Jeonghan cocked up his eyebrows, giving you a quick look that was met with a subtle glare. “What? Of course not.” he coolly dismissed his friend’s words.
Soonyoung had a subtle pout in his face, looking around as if he was thinking for a moment. “But you said she’s-“
“I don’t dislike y/n.” Jeonghan roughly cut him off, giving him a stern look. Soonyoung giggled, giving you a warm smile that had you malfunctioning for a moment “I think it’s good you’re becoming friends!” he said, then quickly turned around when the teacher announced herself.
“I’m not too fond of you either, you know.” you grumbled lowly to Jeonghan, making him chuckle. “Aw, did I hurt your feelings? I’m sorry. Promise we’ll have a great time together from now.”
You rolled your eyes again. “Whatever.” you sighed in defeat, forcing yourself to pay attention to the class.
The lesson carried on like normal, but your mind kept wandering. You were a little worried about whatever Jeonghan had in store for you, fearing the worst. How would he even be able to help you with Soonyoung? Was this all some ploy to embarrass you in front of his friends?
Deep in thought, you failed to notice Jeonghan leaning into you, flinching when he suddenly put his hand on your knee. “Thinking of me?” he whispered. His breath hit your ear, making the hairs on your arms stand up.
“What are you doing?” you asked quietly, keeping your eyes on the teacher and hoping she wouldn’t notice what was happening.
“Don’t you trust me?” Jeonghan’s voice carried a hint of amusement, and you could practically hear him smile as he spoke. “No.” you admitted quickly. Jeonghan chuckled. “Relax, this is all part of it.” he gently squeezed your knee, making you pout a little. The action had you meet his eye, yet you barely turned to him, not wanting it to seem like you were talking to him in the middle of class.
“Come closer. You have to at least put in an effort if you want Soonyoung to think we’re dating.” Jeonghan whispered, pulling you closer towards him by your knee.
Your eyes widened, looking at him in bewilderment as you felt his side pressing into yours. “D-dating?” you almost gasped. “Yeah?” Jeonghan said as if you were stupid. “How else do you want to catch his attention?” he said, like it was obvious this is what you were going to do from the start.
“Like, suddenly? It’ll be weird.” you mumbled, ignoring the heat radiating off his body. Jeonghan shrugged. “We don’t actually tell anyone we’re ‘dating’. They just need to speculate that there’s something going on between us—and it's Soonyoung. He’ll believe anything.” His hand moved from your knee to hang over the backrest of your seat, trying to appear somewhat close to you.
“Watch.” he looked at the front of the class for a moment before leaning back in to reach your ear. “Look at our teacher. Don’t you think it’s funny how she always wears those ugly shoes with that gap between her big toes?” you caught sight of what he was talking about, wheezing at his description. “The loafers? They’re kinda popular right now…”
Jeonghan smiled. “They look like hooves. Hideous.” that made you laugh, catching Soonyoung briefly looking back at the two of you. “I want to burn those ugly horse shoes so bad.” he continued, very aware of his friend now paying attention to you.
“Guys,” Soonyoung whispered to the two of you, a little smile on his face. “Ignore him.” Jeonghan whispered.
“Popular or not, I need them gone.” he continued as if he didn’t hear Soonyoung.
“Hey, guys,” Soonyoung said a bit louder, leaning over.
“Hmm?” Jeonghan cocked up his eyebrows, turning his head to the boy.
“What’re you laughing at?” he asked, hoping to join in on the fun. You allowed yourself to look at Soonyoung now too, waiting for Jeonghan to speak.
“Huh? Oh, nothing…” Jeonghan giggled, putting his hand on your shoulder. Soonyoung pouted a little, softly nodding before looking back in front of him again, figuring whatever you were whispering about wasn’t anything of importance.
“See?” Jeonghan lowly said, a smirk tugging on his mouth. You didn’t reply, watching him play with your pen in his free hand.
You couldn’t focus for the duration of the class, looking down at your blank notebook realizing you hadn’t been taking any notes, despite Jeonghan putting his pencil on your desk. His fingers played with the fabric of your shirt, not paying you any mind as he listened to the teacher.
After the hour-long lesson Jeonghan waited for you to gather your stuff, Soonyoung and Seokmin already exiting the classroom as per Jeonghan’s request to not wait up for him.
It felt oddly good getting all this attention suddenly, despite it coming from someone you had disliked for a year. Jeonghan really wasn’t as bad as you’d made him out to be, and a part of you liked being included in his circle and getting closer to him. It also made you nervous, never fully knowing what to expect from him.
“That was… interesting.” you told Jeonghan, looking up at him. He stood next to you with his arms crossed over his chest. You zipped up your bag, starting to walk out of the classroom with him. “Of course, told you it would work.” Jeonghan simply said, slowly walking through the hallway. “It would’ve even been better if you weren’t so awkward.” he sighed, looking at you. Your neck burned a bit, avoiding his eyes. You hadn’t realized you were being awkward.
“Meet me at the frat after you finish all of your classes.”
“What?” you frowned at his words.
Jeonghan had a blank look on his face. “Am I speaking french? You have to get used to us being together.” he said almost boredly, halting in front of your next class. You blinked at him before slowly nodding. It wouldn’t hurt to make it seem more believable. “Alright.” you said quietly.
The corners of his mouth rose, winking at you before starting to walk off.
“See you later!” he called over his shoulder, leaving you to ponder on what he’d planned.
A strange feeling settled in your stomach as you waited for Jeonghan in front of the big house, looking around the street observantly.
The street wasn’t too busy, but there was a different atmosphere over at the frat row. The possibility of seeing all these boys—probably all friends with each other—was enough to make you nervous. You didn’t trust them, and you weren’t convinced any of them would see you as their equal—not for any societal reasons per se, but because you barely made any noise in the typical tight-knit college community on campus.
It had been different being together with your friend last weekend, a fickle but comforting energy knowing you weren’t alone, even if it had only been for a little while before she disappeared with Mingyu. You’d had time to settle.
Safe to say you felt out of place this time around.
The sudden sound of the door opening then drew your attention.
“There’s my little ducky.” Jeonghan grinned, motioning for you to come in. He laughed at the look you were giving him, slamming the door shut before leading the way.
Your worries seemed to melt away already, but you still felt somewhat nervous at the possibility of having to meet new people.
“You still didn’t give me back my pen,” you told him as you blindly followed. He smiled as he walked past the kitchen to the hallway, looking back at you for a moment. “I’m keeping it,” he said casually.
You sighed in defeat, more focused on your surroundings than to give him a proper reply. The house was mostly quiet, and thankfully you didn’t see anyone apart from hearing muffled voices from whatever room you were passing by.
“Could you walk any slower?” Jeonghan cocked up his eyebrows waiting for you to enter the opened door of his bedroom. You rolled your eyes at him.
Once inside you started to become aware of where he’d taken you, looking around his room while chewing on your bottom lip.
It looked like any other ordinary bedroom, spare for the few knick-knacks and the collection of shoes in the corner. There were tubs of skin care and school books on his desk, and some discarded clothes draped over his chair.
“So… is Soonyoung home?” you asked carefully, not really sure why you were in his bedroom with him.
“No,” Jeonghan said as he took a seat on his bed, simply watching you.
You looked at him, gulping. “Oh…” you said softly, progressively getting more flustered as he held eye contact with you.
Jeonghan chuckled, motioning for you to come closer. “Come here,” he extended his arm, patiently waiting for you to grab his hand. “This is just practice. You have to get used to us touching, ducky.” he smiled cheekily, watching you hesitantly close the space.
He had a point. You told yourself it wasn’t a big deal, but you still felt overwhelmingly nervous as you grabbed his hand. Vulnerable. As you felt his skin, you noticed how long his eyelashes were, the sharp inner corners of his big eyes complimenting his pretty brown irises. His hand felt warm, but you felt weird. It was strangely intimate for some reason, and you wondered if he thought the same.
“Don’t be so tense, y/n. Just act like you normally would.” he chuckled, pulling you closer than you already were, now standing between his parted thighs. You didn’t have anything to say to that, trying not to show how nervous you suddenly felt.
“Why are you looking like that?” Jeonghan cocked his head to the side, reading you for a moment. “Don’t tell me you’ve never had a boyfriend before,” he grinned, already convinced this had been the reason for your silence.
He laughed when the ghost of a pout appeared on your lips, almost making you want to pull your hand away if it weren’t for him already tightening his grip on you.
“Cute. That’s why you’re so shy, hm?” he smiled with a wicked glint in his eyes. “Don’t mock me.” you mumbled, rolling your eyes before looking away. Jeonghan laughed again, shaking his head. “I’m not.” he lied, smiling in amusement.
“Whatever,” you said, your eyebrows scrunched together as you looked at him again.
“Hey, don’t be mad, ducky. I told you it’s cute.” Jeonghan hummed, suddenly wrapping his free arm around your waist and pulling you onto the bed with him.
You gasped in surprise, bracing a hand on his chest as he pulled you closer, both arms wrapping around you as you lay curled on your side.
“You scared me!” You whined, hitting his chest. “Ow!” Jeonghan giggled, smoothing a hand over your hair. “Sorry.” he chuckled. “C’mere.” he softly urged your head to his chest before stroking your hair.
You sighed in defeat, ignoring the knot in your stomach. “You asked me to come over to cuddle?” you sulked, not seeing why it would be of importance.
“Yes? Things like this matter if you want us to be believable.” Jeonghan sighed, looking at you. You met his eye for a second, resisting the urge to roll your eyes again before looking out in front of you instead.
“I don’t even know why we’re doing this. I doubt it will work.” you murmured, unconsciously nuzzling your cheek against his chest. Your cheeks burned as you realized what you were doing, hoping Jeonghan wouldn’t make fun of you for it.
Jeonghan purposely tugged on the ends of your hair a bit too hard, earning him a glare whilst he just smiled. “It’s a shame you still don’t believe in my expertise.” he exhaled a long breath as if he was disappointed. “You have to be all in if you want this to succeed, ducky.” he smiled.
“Stop calling me that,” you mumbled. “And If I remember correctly, you didn’t give me much of a choice, Jeonghan.” you then grumbled, making him laugh for a moment. You could feel his chest shake.
“Still,” he said, ignoring your first words.
You sighed. “Right.” you agreed. You just hoped it would be enough to interest the boy you’d liked since childhood.
“I swear if you embarrass me…” you then added, looking at Jeonghan.
He blinked slowly, just looking at you for a second. “Of course not.” he said in more seriousness, and you realized that’s all you wanted to hear from him.
You slowly nodded. “Okay.” you almost whispered, giving him a little smile. Jeonghan smiled back at you, resting his cheek against the side of your head.
You were both silent after that, finding comfort in each other’s embrace. It felt nice, having someone to finally hold you.
But the comfort unsettled something, too. Truth is, you were a very lonely person. In your twenty-something years, you’d never had anyone pursue you romantically. Which you told yourself was fine—at first. But as the years passed, and those who took an interest in you somehow always ended up disappearing, you began to think something must be wrong with you.
Still, the loneliness didn’t mean you lacked feeling. That had been the whole problem. You loved deeply, too much, sometimes so much that your fingers shook with it. It pulsed deep within you, burning to engulf and to take and keep taking. You were ashamed of the enormity of your desire, disgusted almost. You were scared that if you’d ever get a taste, you’d feast. You’d devour until nothing remained, only yourself and the wounds of your greediness.
You thought yourself to be destructive, not to be trusted with even a sliver of it—even if a pair of warm arms around you had been all you’d ever wanted.
You’d become too much one too many times in the past, and no one wants someone who’s too much. You told yourself love probably just wasn’t meant for you. Maybe you didn’t deserve it. At least not in this lifetime.
You knew whatever you and Jeonghan were doing wasn’t real—not really. But a part of you had started to wonder. You could feel that same warmth you’d come to resent starting to bloom, and it scared you. You didn’t want to mess up again. Didn’t want to scare away the one person you were starting to let in.
You blinked away tears, not because of your pain, but because Jeonghan’s embrace was bringing you so much comfort.
“This feels nice.” you whispered, feeling a bit stupid for suddenly saying something so vulnerable.
Maybe you really were greedy—doing all this to try to get Soonyoung, when you were convinced he would never want you anyway. Or if he did, he’d end up leaving just like everyone did.
Jeonghan hummed, oblivious to how emotional you suddenly felt. He kept stroking your hair. “Do you want to take a nap, ducky? I’m getting a bit tired,” he admitted, chuckling. You nodded against his chest, happy at the opportunity to have him like this a bit longer.
Jeonghan pulled you even closer, sighing against your hair after closing his eyes. You carefully put your arm around him.
You tried not to overthink it anymore, closing your eyes to try to sleep.
Not long after, Jeonghan’s breathing started slowing, and the hand that kept stroking your head now rested somewhere in your mess of hair. The rise and fall of his chest gradually helped lull you into sleep with him.
Soft humming filled your ears, waking you up with a frown as you blinked in confusion. The sweet and airy sounds continued as you looked up at Jeonghan, suddenly remembering where you were.
Jeonghan met your gaze once you moved, the light from his phone behind your head illuminating his face as he stared back at you. He couldn’t contain his laughter seeing your tired face, letting his head fall back as he put his phone down.
You only sighed before pushing yourself up, too dazed to curse at him already.
It seemed like Jeonghan hadn’t moved at all as you were sleeping, silently scrolling on his phone while he had patiently waited for you to wake up. Whilst you had a nice nap, you couldn’t help feeling a bit embarrassed—and maybe ashamed—about letting yourself get so comfortable around him already.
It took a lot of you to feel at ease around others, and you just hoped Jeonghan wouldn’t take advantage of your vulnerability despite his reassuring words.
“You woke up at a perfect time, sleepyhead.” Jeonghan smirked at you, watching you rub your eyes.
“Why?” you asked with a frown, the boy copying you by sitting up as well. He grabbed his phone again, crossing his legs before showing you the live location of a food delivery driver entering the street.
“You ordered food?” you looked at him. Jeonghan smiled, eyes closing in a slow nod. “I’ll be right back, ducky. Don’t miss me too much,” he tapped your nose playfully before pushing himself off the bed, chuckling at you rolling your eyes as he sauntered out of his bedroom.
Jeonghan returned within a minute, flashing you the plastic bag with a smile before sitting on the edge of the bed.
“I got us burgers.” he announced, pulling out two white wrappers and a bag of fries to put in between you.
Jeonghan ate a fry, humming as he chewed while opening a packet of ketchup. “Are you hungry?” he asked, grabbing a couple of fries again. You nodded, unwrapping your burger slowly before meeting his gaze again.
Jeonghan cocked up his eyebrows, smiling as he watched you. “What’s going on in that little head of yours?” he asked in amusement.
You sighed, frowning for a bit as you searched for your words.
“Do you think… we’ll even convince him?” you asked him hesitantly.
Jeonghan cocked his head to the side. “Of course we will. You don’t think so?” he took a bite of his burger, nodding his head towards yours to get you to eat already.
“I’m not sure,” you sighed again before looking down at your cheeseburger, choosing not to further bother him with your insecurities before finally taking a big bite.
He could tell you had more on your mind than you led on, carefully watching you as he chewed his food. Jeonghan chose not to ask too many questions—not yet.
After finishing your food you headed back to the sorority. It was dark out, and if you stayed out for much longer your sorority sisters would undoubtedly start asking questions you didn’t want to answer.
As you left the frat you thought about how different Jeonghan really was compared to how you’d perceived him. He was funny, and more importantly, he was kind. So kind he’d given you his jacket so you wouldn’t get cold on your walk home. It felt good being around him, as though you were finally seen. Really seen.
You zipped up the dark blue jacket, the back adorned with big white ΙΖ' lettering, smiling to yourself like a creep as you thought about all of the dumb jokes Jeonghan had fed you the whole night.
Soonyoung sipped on his diet coke as he watched Seokmin and you work on your assignment, brown irises flickering between the two of you as he sat in silence.
He didn’t notice the familiar jacket you’d purposely left on the table next to your laptop, or how awkwardly your frame shifted in the stiff chair beneath the buzzing lights of the study hall.
You hadn’t been in contact with Jeonghan all day, assuming you’d see him again at the group meeting. Only he hadn’t shown up, the boys beside you mentioning how he’d told them he had been too tired to leave the house.
It had only been half an hour since you’d started working on coding a website for your three product skincare line—a task that would be a whole lot easier if Soonyoung and Seokmin had done their part of the assignment. Which they hadn’t.
At least you’d gotten somewhere today. The basics weren’t hard, you’d already finished most of the HTML structure and some basic CSS. To continue you needed to know what products you’d use—Seokmin’s task—and the color scheme and logo that would represent your website—which was what Soonyoung had to do.
You reminded yourself you all had the whole semester to finish, so for now you could relax. But you felt anything but relaxed, your body on edge in the presence of Soonyoung.
The screen of your phone lit up, your jaw ticking when you read the message.
Yoon Jeonghan: go flirt with him ;)
You accidentally met Soonyoung’s gaze, forcing yourself to give him a stiff smile. Soonyoung smiled back at you, straightening up in his chair before motioning to your laptop.
“Can I see?” he had a hopeful look on his face, his chubby cheeks growing in size as he smiled wider.
Jeonghan’s words echoed in your head, sending your pulse racing. Your stomach felt tight, gulping before you nodded and turned the screen to him. Why was this so hard?
“Oh! You did all this?” Soonyoung scanned the simple website you’d created, easily impressed by your abilities.
You nodded. “Yeah… It’ll look better after we have a logo and stuff,” you rambled, watching Soonyoung slowly pout. “Right,” he giggled, exhaling a soft breath. “I’ll get us a kick-ass logo soon, promise.” he smiled, making Seokmin chuckle in amusement. He obviously didn’t have much trust in his friend.
You called it a day soon after, feeling a bit defeated as you had no idea how to go about this. Sure, it was one thing to fake-date Soonyoung’s best friend, but without Jeonghan you had no clue how to act in front of him. You felt lost.
Things were basically the same as before—strictly friendly. That was it.
You sighed in defeat at the scene in front of you. Small groups of random students you didn’t recognize sipped on their cheap bottles of beer, chatting away without a care in the world.
“We won’t be long,” Jeonghan bumped your shoulder, already reading your mind. He smirked at the glare you were sending his way. “We just need to be seen together.” he explained for what seemed like the nth time, making you hum uninterested.
The frat seemed to get rowdier by the minute as Jeonghan poured you a drink in the kitchen. A special drink, or how he’d called it.
You didn’t want to admit it, but you were feeling nervous. It was the first time you’d so openly be seen together with Jeonghan. And you were still doubting all of it.
It wasn’t only the inquisitive eyes of strangers you dreaded—or Soonyoung’s, it was also the fact that your best friend would come.
You had no idea how you would convince her you’d randomly started dating Yoon Jeonghan out of all people, afraid she’d see right through you. How could she not?
Jeonghan handed you a glass with an almost black liquor, cocking up his eyebrow at you as he waited. You accepted it hesitantly before taking a big gulp. You figured you needed alcohol for this anyway.
“God, what’s in this?” you cringed at the heavy flavor, making the boy next to you laugh.
“You’ve never had jagermeister?” he snorted before bringing the rim to his quirked lips.
“Straight?” your eyes widened, watching him swallow down the drink.
“No, silly. I added coke.” he smiled, the essence from the liquor coating his lips.
You rolled your eyes, relaxing as he put his arm around you. “Calm down, ducky. You’re so on edge today,” he observed aloud, softly squeezing your shoulder. You only sighed, scanning the body of people before you.
Almost immediately, you made eye contact with Jaehee, who excitedly walked up to Jeonghan and you. She seemed pretty smug when she noticed Jeonghan’s arm around you, tilting her eyebrows playfully as she got closer.
“Hi y/nnie, Jeonghan,” she grinned. Jeonghan gave her a courtesy nod, smiling politely as he slid his hand down to rest atop your waist. The sensation of having his hand there caught you off guard for a moment.
“What’s all this? You know you’re not supposed to mix business with pleasure, right?” She teased, awfully surprised at the seemingly random pairing.
You didn’t question her reaction. Despite her not knowing about the grudge you’d held against Jeonghan for well over a year, she was very aware of your crush on Soonyoung. Which made Jeonghan and you together somewhat odd.
“Guess the cat’s out of the bag,” Jeonghan chuckled, pulling you closer to kiss the top of your head. “Had to pull out all of my charm for this one,” he continued, and you admired how well he was playing his role.
“Oh, i’m sure. You got the pick of the litter, Yoon Jeonghan,” Jaehee winked at you as she talked you up.
Her eyes easily found Jeonghan again. “But, make her sad once and see what happens.” Her lips pressed together in a straight line.
Jeonghan smiled, looking down at you as if you were the only one in the room. “I wouldn’t dream of it.” he almost whispered as you met his eye. You only blinked at him, not knowing how to respond before he chuckled at you and softly nudged your cheek with the back of his fingers, leaving the skin tingling from his touch.
“I have to restock the coolers real quick before the beer bros start complaining,” Jeonghan squeezed your waist before letting go of you. “I’ll give you two a minute.” he smiled, patting your head before walking off.
“What the fuck?!” Jaehee yell-whispered at you as you watched Jeonghan disappear. You had to remind yourself to act natural. This was all a part of the plan, after all.
“You’re dating Jeonghan? How did that happen?” Jae crossed her arms over her chest, a pleased smirk forming on her glossy lips.
You gave her a smile. “Oh, you know…” you brushed it off, chuckling.
“Is this why you’ve been so off lately?” she asked, shaking her head in amazement. You frowned as you took a sip of your overpowering drink. “I haven’t been off,” you told her after finishing your glass in one gulp.
“You so have!” she giggled, pushing your shoulder playfully. You only laughed, shrugging. “Maybe.” you pouted, giggling at the expression she was giving you.
Jaehee shook her head again in amazement, turning to the kitchen island to pour herself a drink.
Though you did feel bad for lying, you tried not to think about it for now. You’d tell her eventually, after all of this would merely be a funny memory you’d laugh at looking back.
“So,” she started, turning back to you with a mischievous grin. “Did you have sex with him yet?” she leaned in, reading your reaction carefully.
“Jaehee…” you rolled your eyes and laughed, trying not to seem too caught off guard at the question. The thought of it brought goosebumps to your skin, and you reached for the bottle of vodka on the counter to mask the shaky breath you suddenly had to let out. You needed it for emotional support anyway with Jeonghan not there to do the talking for you.
“Oh, come on! You got your first boyfriend and you want me to be cool about it?” she sulked.
“I don’t want to jinx anything yet,” you told her coolly, chuckling at her sighing out loud. “Fair.” she smiled sweetly, dropping it for now.
Soonyoung hadn’t spared you a second glance after his initial greeting—a mere wave—off laughing with Seokmin and some random girl for what had already felt like hours.
Jeonghan had been gone for a while already, and you were starting to feel restless without him. You blamed it on the scene in front of you—the way Soonyoung’s laugh echoed far too loudly at whatever the girl was telling him, his arm deliberately brushing her shirt. Your skin prickled almost painfully at the sight as you tried to pay attention to Jae’s rant about something Mingyu had done.
Still, Seokmin was right there. Equally as loud, friendly, exactly the buffer that should’ve made all of this easier to stomach. And yet… it didn’t. The restlessness lingered like a breath you couldn't fully release. An itch you couldn’t reach.
You kept glancing over at Soonyoung, but the longer you looked, the less you recognised him. The somewhat quiet, awkward kid you used to know felt like someone else entirely now. You were beginning to fear that you were chasing a past version of him, one that didn’t even exist anymore. You realised you were looking through the lens of someone who used to know him.
Maybe you were just doing this all wrong. Maybe if you were louder, or bolder—better, you wouldn’t be feeling this defeated.
There was a dull, stubborn ache in your chest that kept on growing, one that you couldn’t ignore no matter how hard you tried. The thought of doing all of this without even knowing if you still even wanted it stung, and all you wanted was to flee. All you wanted was for Jeonghan to make you laugh again.
“Fuck, okay—I’m gonna go find him,” Jaehee sighed after getting out all her pent up frustration, taking the remainder of her drink as a shot. “I’m going to confront him—remind him I’m a bad bitch who doesn’t take shit. Wish me luck.” Her jaw stiffened, eyes scanning the room to catch sight of Mingyu.
“Good luck, girl,” you forced a smile. You really didn’t want to be by yourself right now. But you didn’t say anything, watching her sigh before getting lost in the crowd.
You had the perfect opportunity to leave the party, walk the short route back to the sorority and simply call it a night. The alcohol had made you tired anyway.
Yet you found yourself sipping on another drink on the couch.
You were hoping Jeonghan would come find you. Whenever you were with him you seemed to forget about everything that gnawed at you. He was quickly becoming your comfort in all of the chaos you felt. Maybe he was the cause of it, too.
As if on cue, you spotted the long-haired boy in the sea of people. “There you are,” he said when he got close enough. His voice soothed you, and you already felt a bit better. Jeonghan slotted himself next to you on the couch with a low groan, his warm hand finding your knee as if it were natural.
“What’s wrong?” he squeezed you when you didn’t greet him. You shrugged.
Jeonghan looked at you for a moment, his big eyes reading you. “Is this about Soonyoung?” he blinked.
You exhaled a breath. “It’s stupid.”
“Probably,” he said, earning a glare. Jeonghan only smiled.
“C’mon, tell Jeonghannie,” He put his arm around you, pulling you closer to him.
“I hate that.” you grumbled at the way he was referring to himself, making him chuckle. “Stop moping, little ducky,” he began stroking your hair..
You sighed, chewing on your bottom lip. You just looked at him for a moment, his features softening as he noted your hesitance.
“I don’t think I can do this,” you said carefully, frowning a little. You felt vulnerable vocalizing what’d been plaguing your mind, but somehow it eased the weight off your shoulders too.
His brown eyes didn’t leave yours, sympathy growing on his handsome face. Jeonghan then softly hummed in acknowledgment. “Why do you think that?” he simply asked.
You sighed again, looking away. “Just… It’s stupid—I don’t have a chance with him anyway,” you mumbled, making Jeonghan cock up his eyebrows.
“Huh? Of course you do, silly,” Jeonghan softly shook you, smiling at you sparingly. He wondered why you continued to put yourself down.
You looked at him, doubt clear on your face. “I don’t think so.” you shrugged. It was Jeonghan’s turn to sigh. “Well, you’re wrong.” he fixed a stray strand of your hair, putting the lock behind your ear.
You chuckled bitterly. “I’m not his type. I’m not… confident, or assertive… no one ever likes me,” your jaw tightened a bit as you spoke, your throat closing up.
Jeonghan frowned at you, pausing for a moment. “That’s not true y/n,” he shook his head, observing you carefully. “Like, not at all.” He sighed before gently nudging your chin, looking at you. You softly pouted, not really knowing what to say.
“Do you even know how lucky he’d be to have you?” he added, his sweet words only making you somber.
“He’ll see that too, so don't try to act like someone you’re not. You’re already perfect.” Jeonghan reassured you, holding your chin to keep you from looking away from him again. You swallowed a lump in your throat.
“Such a pretty girl…” he then hummed with a smile, only making things worse. You hated how much his words impacted you—how easily they reached the parts of you you tried to keep hidden.
“He’d be such an idiot…” he whispered, taking you in carefully.
You avoided his gaze, unable to repress the tears that were starting to form in the corners of your eyes. You didn’t know why it hit so hard—maybe because you wanted to believe it.
“Aigooya,” Jeonghan reached out to dry your tears. “Don’t cry on me, little ducky,” he pouted before giving your cheek a soft squeeze, slowly starting to smile.
“I’ll talk you up to him, okay? I promise.” he assured you. You blinked away your tears and exhaled a breath to compose yourself, nodding as you gave him a little smile.
“Good. Now, don’t be sad—or Jaehee will scold me for being a bad boyfriend.” he sighed, making you chuckle in the middle of all of this.
“I’m okay… thank you, Hannie.” you sniffled.
Jeonghan cocked his head to the side at the nickname you’d given him, smirking in amusement. “I already got a nickname? I must be good at this fake boyfriend thing.” he teased you, laughing when you pushed him.
“Ow!” he giggled. “Keep teasing me and I might start thinking you actually like me,” Jeonghan grinned, making you roll your eyes. “I’m not teasing you.” you tried not to smile.
“Oh? Calling me that is teasing, ducky.” he put his arm around you again, smiling as he pulled you into his embrace, this time keeping you there.
“You call me that stupid nickname every two seconds and I’m the one teasing?” you looked up at him, your cheek resting against his shoulder as he kept you close.
“I never said I wasn’t,” Jeonghan smirked, almost challenging you to say something back.
You could feel your face starting to heat up, not knowing how to get back at him. There was a brief pause between the two of you.
“You know,” Jeonghan then whispered, momentarily looking behind you before his sharp eyes invaded yours again. He licked his lips before glancing at yours, and the subtle action made you slightly nervous. “I know just how to get people’s attention,” the corner of his mouth rose, waiting on how you’d react. Now you were getting really nervous.
Still, you didn’t know what to say.
Jeonghan looked perfect as he studied you, like he already knew what you were thinking. You were terrified he might. Your quietness, your hesitation… you were convinced it only enticed him. But what if you were just imagining the sudden heaviness hanging in the air?
“What, you don’t want to kiss me?” his lip threatened to curl up again, though he tried his best not to.
Oh.
You blinked at him in surprise, too afraid to assume that he was actually serious.
“Jeonghan…” you whispered shyly, feeling your heart beating out of your chest.
Jeonghan knew you weren’t saying no—he could see it in your eyes, in the way you were looking at him the same way he had been looking at you. You wanted to. He wasn’t dumb. But you were simply too timid to initiate what he’d been alluding to.
He then gently cupped your cheek, fingers burning against your warm skin as he slowly leaned in. His lips parted in a pleased smirk noticing the hazy look hiding behind your eyes, thumb swiping your cheek to lure your blown pupils to meet his, commanding your full and uttermost attention. You melted under his touch, watching his long lashes fan his cheeks as he closed them, before his lips finally met yours in a soft but long kiss.
The party was all a blur by now, fixated on the feeling of Jeonghan’s lips and his body leaning into yours. You felt hot, and maybe not just because of the alcohol in your system. Just when you started to fear he’d pull away, Jeonghan purred against your mouth, holding you tighter before tracing a line on your bottom lip with his tongue. You let him take the lead, let him do as he pleased as he left you whimpering with a mere tug of his teeth.
You realised he’s messing with you even now, feeling him smile whenever he gets a sound out of you. You didn’t care this time, finding your hand suddenly clutching his shirt at his side as Jeonghan deepened the kiss, hearing the wet smacking sounds even over the music you had already tuned out.
You kissed Jeonghan back with equal fever. You were vaguely aware of people watching—You didn’t care. You didn’t want to stop. You moaned into his mouth at the sensation, a mess of spit and teeth that had your cheeks burn with anticipation.
It all felt a little too real—but maybe if you convinced yourself it was as real as it felt, others would believe it too. Even if Soonyoung didn’t see what was happening, word would spread eventually.
Then, he stopped.
“Let’s go to my room,” Jeonghan whispered, linking your fingers together before getting up and pulling you with him.
You only nodded, ignoring the quiet sting of something unfinished as he led you through the body of people, away from the rowdy living room.
You’d gotten what Jeonghan had promised—something to make all of this seem believable. And getting seen leaving together was the icing on the cake.
Your lips still tingled from the kiss, though you tried not to show how much Jeonghan had unraveled you as you entered his bedroom together. You were finally away from the party, and you could let yourself relax now. You exhaled a breath you hadn’t realized you were holding before smiling, feeling Jeonghan’s eyes on you as you kicked off your shoes and crawled onto his bed.
“Mission accomplished,” you joked, lying down with a groan and stretching out your limbs to get comfortable.
Jeonghan didn’t respond. You watched him crawl onto the bed after you, mirroring your movements. You smiled at him, expecting him to roll onto his back next to you—only to freeze when he climbed on top of you instead.
Jeonghan kissed you again. Only this time he didn’t intend on stopping.
Your breath hitched against his lips, hands finding his shoulders as you let him.
The way his weight pressed into you made your head spin, like you were his for the taking.
His elbows framed your face, soft, long hairs brushing your face—you couldn’t think anymore. You didn’t want to think anymore.
“Jeonghan—“ you finally whispered, your body on fire as he shushed you with a long peck. You suppressed a moan and squeezed his shoulder in vain at the way he kept sucking and biting your bottom lip, a veil of pleasure spreading through every inch of you.
“Jeonghan—Wha-what are you doing?” you managed to stutter through your haze, feeling yourself practically glued to the mattress.
Jeonghan cupped your cheeks, giving you a long peck. “Can’t help myself. Y’re just so cute,” he mumbled before kissing you again, sighing when you started kissing him back.
The tips of his fingers found your skin under the hem of your top, brushing your hip almost hesitantly as if you could pull away at any moment, like any wrong move would bring you back to your senses and have you slip away from him.
You pulled him closer, sighing at the feeling of his hand slowly stroking up your side. Your back curled autonomously at the gentle caress, pressing your head into the pillow as Jeonghan ground his hips against yours.
Nimble fingers pulled up the cup of your bra, plumped pink lips pecking your ajar mouth as he squeezed your breast. You spread your thighs wider for him before pulling on the ends of his hair, kissing him hard as you started panting at the friction of his groin grinding against your clothed cunt.
“Hannie…” you whispered, curling your back again.
“Yes, ducky?” Jeonghan asked softly, rolling your nipple between his fingers.
“Please…” you gulped, letting go of his hair to pull at the hem of his shirt.
You’d never fake dated before, but you were sure you were breaking every rule in the book.
Jeonghan slowly started kissing down to your neck, only stopping to rid himself of the fabric you wanted gone. His smooth back felt soft as you shyly traced a line over the fair skin, eyes closing with a sigh when he sucked on a particularly sensitive spot where your neck met your shoulder.
“Is this still okay?” Jeonghan whispered against your skin, his fingers splayed over your exposed stomach where your top had ridden up, softly kneading your waist. You nodded, and he softly moaned when your nails brushed the nape of his neck, tangling gently in his long hair.
You guided his lips back to yours, all signs of modesty ignored, evident in the way your tongue nastily demanded his.
“Fuck.” Jeonghan breathed. “Can I touch you, baby?” he asked, squeezing your waist while his thumbs pushed down against the waistband of your jeans. Eagerly, you nodded. “Yes, please,” you mumbled against his lips, feeling the corners of his mouth tug up.
You sucked on his bottom lip to silence any potential sneer that would follow, smiling at the hushed curse that followed.
Jeonghan kept kissing you as he undid the button of your jeans, fingers dipping into the fabric to tug them down to your knees.
The short sensation of his body grinding against you had already left a mess between your legs, leaving a subtle dark patch on your panties.
You didn’t give Jeonghan much of an opportunity to pull away from you, mewling against his mouth at the sudden feeling of his fingers slowly starting to rub your clit.
Your body started meeting his touch, hips following his movement as your jaw slacked.
Jeonghan softly hummed, brown eyes fixated on your face as he kept pecking your top lip.
“More, Hannie…” your chest tightened when you met his eye, a heavy veil settling over your body as the weight of what the two of you were doing sank in.
Jeonghan looked down at you, taking a beat too long to respond as if he had realized the exact same thing. Then he smiled—almost smirking before applying more pressure.
You moaned, squeezing your eyes shut for a quick second before giving him a hard kiss. You softly shook your head. “More.” you told him again, a short wave of anxiety seeping through your body that instantly disappeared again when he dipped his fingers inside of your panties, finally touching you where you needed him.
“Is this better?” he whispered, smiling when you gave him this look, begging for him to kiss you properly again.
“Yes,” you said almost inaudibly, your nails raking over the back of his neck at the feeling of his soft lips pushing against yours.
He circled your clit with his thumb, his fingers taunting your burning entrance.
You spread your thighs even further, hoping it would lead to him pushing his fingers deep inside of you already.
Instead, Jeonghan took his time teasing your clit and entrance, thumb pushing into your nub as two of his fingers brushed against your wet hole.
Your hands slid to his cheeks, cupping his face before moaning into his mouth. You could feel him smile at the sounds he was inciting out of you, only spurring the both of you on more.
His digits pushed against your entrance, starting to dip inside of you before stopping right when you started to feel your entrance burn. They slipped back against your wet entrance, a chuckle rolling out of his throat when you exhaled a breath of frustration.
“Say please,” Jeonghan purred against your lips, now completely abandoning your core to gently pinch your clit. You exhaled another breath, brows furrowing while your cheeks grew hotter.
“Jeonghan…” you whispered, squeezing his shoulder in hopes of having him give in to you.
“Come on, just like you did before,” he continued, failing to hide how much he enjoyed the reaction he had on you.
You sighed, feeling as if you were cloud nine as he started nibbling on your bottom lip.
“Please…” you gulped, imagining his long fingers pushing inside of you.
“Good girl,” Jeonghan mumbled, his hot tongue finding yours before he did just that, two digits starting to slowly enter you. A moan filled the air, your breath hitching as your pussy stretched to accommodate his fingers.
He moved them at a slow pace, opening his eyes to watch you wither under him. A sight he didn’t want to ever forget.
“Does that feel good, ducky?” Jeonghan whispered, brushing your lips with his. You quickly nodded, trying to keep kissing him despite the overwhelming pleasure that kept building, putting you in a trance.
He went a bit faster, forehead touching yours as his eyes remained glued to your face. Your eyelashes fanned your cheeks, lips twitching and mouth unfurling with every delicious drag of his fingers.
“Mmnh!” you whimpered and bucked your hips when he circled your hard clit, making your thighs twitch at the friction. You tightened around him, clutching his shoulder and pulling him flat against your body as some sort of anchor.
You gasped for air, sliding a leg over his hip before pushing yours up, chasing the orgasm you felt approaching quickly.
Jeonghan kissed your nose before going even faster, dying to watch you come around his fingers.
You bit your lip, squeezing your eyes shut as pleasure bloomed inside of you, consuming you as you reached your high with another loud whimper.
“Fuck,” you moaned, sighing as your thigh unhooked from his hip and slid back down on the mattress.
Jeonghan kissed your cheek, slowly pulling his fingers out of you before sucking them clean while looking at you. He had you speechless.
“Are you okay?” Jeonghan asked softly, your eyes fixated on his plump lips. Slowly, you nodded, feeling slightly unsure as you pecked his lips. Jeonghan smiled.
“You’re cute,” he chuckled, fixing the wild strands of your hair before moving to push himself up. Your hand quickly found his bicep.
“No.” you slipped out, eyes wide and hazy as you looked at him.
Jeonghan tilted his head, blinking slowly. Then he smiled in amusement. “Aren’t you tired, baby?” Jeonghan teased you, his muscles relaxing as he found his previous position again.
You shook your head.
“Do you… do you want to?” you asked a bit unsure, only hoping you weren’t embarrassing yourself. What if the moment was just that—a moment that had now passed.
Jeonghan laughed, giving you a chaste kiss.
“Are you serious? Do you even know how hard I am right now?” he chuckled when you replied with a nod, stroking your cheek with the back of his hand before pushing himself up at last.
You watched him unbuckle his belt, admiring his pretty body whilst he rid himself of his pants. Your eyes followed a path down to his boxers, swallowing a lump in your throat at what you were seeing.
You didn’t expect just how big he were, even with the dark piece of fabric that was still covering his manhood.
“Are you gonna take it off for me?” Jeonghan asked you, his sultry voice and bedroom eyes making your chest thump. Those eyes of his would have you do anything he asked of you.
You suddenly realized you were still lying down with your pants half on, shyly tugging them down together with your panties before discarding them on the floor. You kneeled on the bed, crawling over to where Jeonghan was to push him down and settle between his thighs.
He watched you slip off your top over your head, your bra thrown on the growing pile to the side.
You bit your lip as Jeonghan admired your naked body, his hand reaching out to stroke your thigh.
“You’re so pretty,” he whispered, squeezing your skin. You gave him a small smile, trying to exhale a controlled breath as your fingers splayed over his lower tummy.
“You’re pretty too.” Your lip twitched, eyes leaving his to glide down his figure, your digits hooking into his boxers to pull at the stretchy band.
“Thank you, ducky.” Jeonghan hummed, licking his lips as he watched you get him fully naked.
Your lungs filled up with air when you saw his large cock, the tip glistening and leaking pre-cum already. You weren’t sure if you were able to fit all of him inside of you, and the mere thought of it sinking deep inside made you gulp. In a good way.
Quickly, your hand wrapped around the base, your lips parting as you leaned down a little to let a glob of spit drip down onto the red tip.
Jeonghan sighed, his eyes narrowing as he watched you carefully.
You spread the wetness all over his length, the dirty sounds filling the air even over the subtle music off in the distance. Jeonghan’s body relaxed under your touch, his mouth slightly open as he breathed deeper.
The sight in front of you had your cunt tighten around nothing. You didn’t care that you weren’t supposed to do this. Right now you needed to feel him.
Jeonghan’s hands found your waist, his breath hitching when you straddled him and fisted his hard cock to align the tip against your folds. You kissed him, softly moaning against his lips as you ground your cunt against him.
Slowly but gradually, you started sinking down, a mixture of your moans filling the air.
He was so big, and you struggled to accommodate his thick tip. “Slow down.” Jeonghan groaned, throwing his head back to release a filthy whimper as you ignored him and did your best to keep going.
“Fuck,” you moaned, clencing around his size fruitlessly. You held his shoulders to support yourself, your hips stuttering when you finally sat down on him. You exhaled a shaky breath before rolling your hips, the overstimulation killing you.
You moaned again, feeling him press right onto your G-spot.
He looked so effortlessly pretty like this. The strands of his long hair framed his face, tongue peeking out from plump lips as his chest adorned a new red-colored flush. You could feel him tighten his grip on your waist, big eyes watching you.
You found a steady rhythm, trying your best to keep yourself from cumming already—which proved to be harder than anything.
A yelp came out of you when his thumb brushed your clit just like before, your jaw slacking at the newfound pleasure running through your body. “Fuck, Jeonghan,” you gulped hard, biting your lip and moaning when he thrusted up once to meet you.
“You feel so fucking good, ducky,” Jeonghan moaned, yanking you down by your shoulder to have your chests meet. He put an arm around you, keeping you pressed against you as he planted his feet down on the mattress to fuck up into you. You whimpered hard.
“Sorry, sorry, just need you now,” he groaned, his cheek pressing against your crown.
You squeezed his shoulders, whimpering uncontrollably as he kept a head-spinning pace. You pressed your mouth against his neck, making him curse as your teeth found his skin.
Jeonghan gripped your ass, kneading the skin as the filthy sounds echoed through his bedroom.
Anyone walking past would be able to hear what was happening, and yet you really didn’t care. You were sure Jeonghan didn’t care.
Your body felt on fire, the feeling of his hands gripping you to keep you from moving leaving you breathless.
Then, he rolled you onto your back, pinning your arms above your head by your wrists as he started fucking you again. Jeonghan licked his lips, watching you wither under him with a pair of hazy eyes to match his.
God, he was big. He stretched you out so deliciously, so perfectly. You squeezed your eyes shut when his mouth encircled your nipple, sucking and biting carelessly to take you apart even further.
“Fuck. Gonna cum soon. Can’t take it anymore,” Jeonghan groaned, sucking and leaving a train of love bites from your tit to your neck. You bit your lip and nodded, sighing at how full you felt. You were right there with him, your muscles burning and your cunt pulsing as that familiar feeling spread through your body.
“D-don’t pull out.” you gulped, curling your back before moaning.
Jeonghan gave you a kiss. “Have to, baby,” he told you, trapping your wrists with one hand as the other one found your clit again. You whimpered and squirmed under him, weakly shaking your head.
“Please?” you sighed, bucking your hips. Jeonghan groaned as his lips found yours, his breath hitching.
“God—Are you sure?” he asked, his thrust becoming sloppy.
You nodded soundlessly, feeling like you were floating. As if the world around you didn’t exist.
“Yes, Hannie,” you hooked a leg around his waist, making the both of you moan in each other’s mouth.
Jeonghan felt even deeper now, massaging your bundle of nerves until he felt you starting to cum around him. He cursed at the feeling of your tight pussy gripping his cock, your body going slack against his. He stilled as his warm cum started filling you, softly moving to fuck his release deep inside.
You curled your back in pleasure, exhaling a long breath as you relished the dizzying feeling.
Jeonghan let go of your wrists to cup your cheek, pressing a long kiss on your parted lips before resting his face in the crook of your neck. He stroked your sides as he tried to catch his breath, planting more soft kisses there as his hips slowly moved against yours, before finally stopping.
You stayed like that for a moment, feeling Jeonghan’s chest rise and fall as his cock remained lodged inside of you. Only when you started to feel your mixed release dripping from where you were joined he slowly lifted his hips to let his cock fall out of you.
You bit your lip at the feeling, already missing the closeness you shared.
Jeonghan sat up and fixed his hair before helping you up, holding your hand as he wordlessly walked to the bathroom with you.
“Are you okay, ducky?” he asked softly after running the shower. You gave him a smile, nodding. “I’m good, Hannie. Are you?” you asked him, your smile growing when he nodded.
“Of course,” he squeezed your cheek before signaling for you to enter the shower, watching you step inside before following you.
Sunlight warmed your face, the fraternity oddly quiet compared to the night before. You rubbed your tired eyes before turning to an already awake Jeonghan, blinking at the ceiling as if he was deep in thought.
“Hey,” you said softly, cuddling up next to him.
Jeonghan smiled, putting his arm around you.
“Hi ducky.” he sweetly rubbed your back, tracing patterns on his shirt you were wearing.
You tried not to think too much about what had happened between you two. You weren’t ready to face the consequences of your actions yet, not today at least.
“Do you think Soonyoung saw us?” you then asked him quietly, tilting your head.
Jeonghan got quiet for a moment, momentarily stopping the tracing on your back as he looked at you.
“Yeah. Probably.”
“I think so too,” you hummed, resting your face against his chest. “Hopefully,” you added before smiling, closing your eyes again.
“Right.” Jeonghan looked at you, his fingers finding your hair again.
You didn’t realize how quiet the room had gotten again.
The distant laughing and shouting from the group of boys running around at the school’s football field brought a surprisingly comforting atmosphere–almost calming as the ball got kicked around from left to right.
Your eyes easily found Soonyoung’s figure. He was hard to miss. Maybe you were just naturally drawn to him, despite the doubt that had started growing inside of your head.
It had merely started as a tiny seed, a speck of uncertainty that had grown into something bigger—clouding your mind ever since that day not long ago. The same day where you ended up sleeping with Jeonghan.
It had only been a few days since then, but you just couldn’t figure out why you were starting to fear this plan of Jeonghan somehow working.
It’s not that you had even an inkling of trust in this plan—that hadn’t progressed one bit, mind you—It was just that Jeonghan seemed to have some kind of magical power to get whatever he wanted.
He was alluring. A pretty face that knew just what to say and when to say it was truly a deadly combination. You were sure he could convince you to jump in a ditch if he smiled at you right.
Maybe you were right to enjoy your time with Jeonghan while you figured out what you really wanted. It was no use to put an end to it now—not when your new friendship with Jeonghan was making you feel a lot happier than you’ve been for the past few years. Nothing wrong with that, right?
“Keep still,” Jeonghan teasingly pulled you back by your lock of hair he was braiding, snapping you out of your train of thought.
“Ow!” you complained with a pout, giggling when Jeonghan tsked at your obvious exaggeration.
You were sitting in front of his body with your legs crossed, plucking at the blades of grass that tickled the palms of your hands.
“Didn’t you like football, Hannie?” you frowned as your eyes followed the flock of boys running around, ignoring how he sighed whenever you moved too much for his liking. He hummed, carefully tying the bottom of your braid before finally letting go of your hair.
You quickly turned your head, Jeonghan watching your braid snapping to the side as you looked back at him.
“Then why aren’t you playing?” you asked him, watching him chuckle at you before carefully moving your braid over your shoulder.
“Can’t I spend time with my girlfriend?” he smirked at you, laughing when you rolled your eyes. “I’m being serious,” you sighed, scooting to sit next to him. “Me too.” Jeonghan grinned, draping his arm around your shoulder right as Soonyoung giggled in the background. You briefly glanced at him, exhaling in amusement as you watched him laugh, running to the other side of the field with others hot on his heels, kicking the ball in the direction of the goal.
Your eyes naturally found Jeonghan again, watching the corners of his mouth lift up as you made eye contact. For some reason the energy felt heavier in this moment, and you were overly aware of how close you were sitting. You could feel his chest expand as he breathed, smell the peach shampoo off his dark hair—or the subtle peppery, bergamot scent from his perfume that mixed in whenever he moved.
You gave him a half-smile before quickly diverting your gaze down back to the grass, routinely pulling at the blades again.
“Did you—Did you ever talk to him?” you scrunched your eyebrows momentarily as you broke the silence, shortly looking at Jeonghan before watching the blades of grass in your hand get carried away by the wind.
“Hm?” Jeonghan leaned into you at your question, his fingers finding the end of your braid to toy with.
“I mean—Did you talk to Soonyoung for me?” you clarified, looking at him sparingly.
“Oh—right. Yeah, I did,” He told you, making you kind of worried with the way he didn’t share more.
“And…?” You asked unsure, feeling more and more insecure by the second. Even the possibility of catching Soonyoung’s eye after all of these years brought goosebumps to your skin.
“He said you’re insanely cute,” Jeonghan told you, watching your reaction.
You blinked in surprise, your lips forming a subtle pout as you took in his words. Slowly, you nodded, flashing Jeonghan a small smile. “Really?” you asked him, caught off guard. Jeonghan nodded, making you giggle by squeezing your cheek. “Yes, really. I mean, who could ever resist you? It was bound to happen eventually,” he shrugged, making you cringe and bump your shoulder into his chest.
Truth was, Jeonghan was lying straight through his teeth. He had never talked with Soonyoung about you after making his promise to you. He was never planning on it, either. He didn’t know why, but for some reason he just didn’t want to. Maybe it was selfish of him, but he didn’t want to put an end to this fake relationship. Not when being with you felt like remembering something warm from a dream he didn’t want to forget.
“Hey guys!” Soonyoung exclaimed happily as he ran up to Jeonghan and you, a football tucked under his arm. “Did you see me score?!” he carelessly dropped the football before plopping down on the grass in front of the two of you, letting the ball roll a bit before settling beside him.
“Oh, of course we did Soonyoungie!” Jeonghan smiled at him, and you felt his hand find your shoulder again as he fed him the little white lie. “You did so well,”
You watched Soonyoung, his cute eyes progressively getting smaller upon getting praised by his older friend. He giggled sweetly, meeting your eye as he smiled open-mouthed, like a puppy waiting to get a treat.
“You were great,” you nodded at him, your body responding to having him in front of you after finding out what he’d supposedly said about you.
“Thank you, y/n!” Soonyoung giggled again, pouting in satisfaction. He looked almost shy, yet his demeanor quickly changed when he realised he actually came to ask something.
“Oh—Mingyu and I were thinking of cooking some meat and having drinks at home. You guys are coming too, right?” he looked between Jeonghan and you, his face relaxed as he expected you’d say yes.
You opened your mouth to answer, but Jeonghan started speaking right before you got the chance to. “We are actually about to head to y/n’s place, right ducky?” Jeonghan asked with his mouth dangerously close to your ear, his fingers starting to stroke your shoulder over your top.
You looked over at Jeonghan for a second before looking at Soonyoung. “We were?” you blinked dumbly before realising Jeonghan had made it up on the spot. He chuckled. “Yeah, we were going to work on the project for a bit,” he simply said, and if you didn’t know any better you’d believe him.
“Argh, the project?” Soonyoung scratched behind his ear, smiling playfully.
“Mhm,” Jeonghan only smiled.
“Well, maybe you guys could come after? Seungcheol hyung got us a bunch of weed, it’s gonna be fun!” Soonyoung pushed himself up from the floor as he boasted about tonight, hoping to convince his hyung.
“Yeah, maybe,” Jeonghan said uninterestedly, patting your back before the two of you mimicked the blonde-haired boy and got up from the grass.
As you walked the opposite direction of Soonyoung, exiting the somewhat crowded football field while bumping shoulders with Jeonghan, you found yourself sneaking a look at his pretty face.
His big eyes always drew you in, making you smile as you called his name. There was a hint of playfulness behind his eyes as he looked at you, as if he’d already predicted your action.
“Work on the project?” you only said, cocking up your eyebrow in curiosity.
Jeonghan chuckled, shrugging. “I want to hang out with you,” he admitted. “Just us two.” he added, smiling. “Why, did you want to be with Soonyoungie?” he smirked, his hand bumping against yours. He looked down for a second before looking back at you.
You looked away, failing to hide your smile. “I mean, isn’t that the whole reason why we’re doing this?” you chuckled, hearing him silently giggle. “Sure,” he hummed, smiling cheekily.
Jeonghan silently grabbed your wrist when the distance between you became too big for his liking, closing his eyes in a smile when you looked up at the sudden touch.
“We can go hang with them later, how does that sound ducky?” Jeonghan asked, his tone one of a kindergarten teacher affirming a small child. You hummed, and when Jeonghan silently linked your pinkies together you tried to remain calm. Collected.
“We’ll see,” you said, sneaking a look down at your hands.
Jeonghan almost grinned when he noticed, liking how you tried to act cool, as if you felt normal about it. Only, you could tell what he was doing, mustering up your courage to convince him you did feel very much normal about linking pinkies with him.
“You do know Soonyoung isn’t around, huh?” you gave him a look, smiling when he did too.
“I know,” he simply said. “But others might see us. It’s called being prepared, baby.” he purred, making you roll your eyes, though you couldn’t hide your amusement even if you tried.
“Whatever.” you sighed, making the corners of Jeonghan’s mouth twitch.
“Are you just going to stand there or are you going to help me?” you narrowed your eyes at Jeonghan, who was currently busying himself with smelling each bottle of perfume you had in your possession.
“Found my favorite,” Jeonghan turned to show you the perfume you usually wore, taking his time spraying it on his wrist and letting it dry down before smelling it on his skin. He sighed in contentment, smiling before setting it back.
“It smells best on you,” he concluded with a small shrug before finally walking towards you, sighing when he actually saw you with your laptop open.
“You really want to work on the project?” He took a seat next to you on the bed before crossing his arms over his chest. You gave him a look. “You mean the project you haven’t worked on for a single minute? Yeah,” you looked at him, making Jeonghan throw his head back in a sigh. “You know I’ve actually helped a lot, smartypants.”
You chuckled. “Yeah, by bossing us around maybe.” you cocked up your eyebrow at him, making Jeonghan scoff in disbelief. “Alright, Miss know-it-all. What have you done, then?” he sighed, smiling at you.
You shrugged, letting him snatch your laptop from your lap. He scrolled through the webpage that was open, brows furrowing slightly as he took everything in.
“Wait, ducky, did you code this?” he looked at you, slightly raising his eyebrows as he waited for your reply. You only nodded.
“Huh,” he exclaimed, blinking at the screen. “How did you do that? Isn’t that like—hard?” he frowned. “I didn’t know you could do this,” he continued, a smile growing on his lips.
You rolled your eyes at him. “Well, I am majoring in software engineering, Jeonghan,” you explained, watching a pout grow on his face.
“Wow, I didn’t know that. How did I not know? You’re so talented, y/nnie,” Jeonghan smiled cheekily, pinching your cheek in affection. You whined as you slapped his hand away, laughing at him. “You never asked,” you chuckled, feeling a little shy.
“Mhm, you’re right. I guess I didn’t…” he clicked his tongue, remembering how he had never really spoken to you prior to getting paired together for the project, how getting to know you had been the least of his worries back then.
He smiled watching you trying not to sulk, finding it cute that you were obviously thinking about his past indifference as well.
“M sorry about that, ducky. I know I annoyed you a lot in the past,” Jeonghan looked at you, fingers instinctively finding your braid again. He ran the pad of his thumb down the textured hair, his eyelashes fluttering as he blinked slowly.
You rolled your eyes playfully, the corners of your mouth tugging up as you realized how much you despised him then. That same smirk that used to irk you whenever you caught Jeonghan’s mischievous expression from the back of class was now the very reason you felt so alive.
“You still annoy me,” you bit your lip trying to hide your smile, laughter bubbling from your throat when your words seemed to catch him off guard, his mouth opening in an ‘o’.
“You’re so gonna regret that.” Jeonghan smirked, quickly setting aside your laptop to tickle you. You let out a scream, trying to squirm away as his fingers crept up your sides to your armpits.
“Jeonghan! Stop!” you laughed, your body instinctively flinching from the attack.
Jeonghan giggled, his eyes almost manic as he relished in the reaction he was getting out of you. “My god, I don't think I’ve ever gotten you this loud, ducky,” Jeonghan smirked, getting one more squeal out of you before allowing you to grab his wrists to stop him.
The boy in front of you definitely did not realize how his words evoked a certain memory with you, cheeks growing hotter as you’re forced to replay the images you’d been actively pushing away for days.
You let go of his wrists when he spoke, “Alright, let’s work on this project then,” he hummed, completely oblivious as he opened your laptop.
You caught yourself looking directly at his mouth, a shameful kind of tingle spreading through your body. You forced your eyes away, looking at your lap instead. You missed his mouth, his kisses. You think you could kiss Jeonghan for hours if he let you. Oh my god, focus, you thought to yourself.
“You okay?” Jeonghan cocked up his brow as he noticed your tense body. You nodded.
“God, I hate this. Okay, whatever,” Jeonghan trailed off as he scrolled through your notes, already dreading having to waste his energy on school. “Did you know I once bribed a teacher so I didn’t have to do a group project?” he briefly looked up to catch your reaction, hiding a smirk as he started typing something.
“What?” You barely caught what he said, gulping when he started laughing out loud. “Just kidding. But it sounded quite believable, right?” he licked his lips, a lock of his hair falling in his eye.
You were sitting so close to each other. You only had to lean in and you could experience the same dizzying sensation of meeting his warm lips again.
So, you did. Jeonghan blinked in surprise when you gave him a chaste kiss, high on adrenaline and drunk on your desires, not giving him a chance to react before kissing him for a second time.
A part of you felt like crying, unable to place all the different kinds of thoughts and feelings that were whirling inside of you. It was all so unfamiliar, and you felt too vulnerable. If Jeonghan were to reject your advances you were afraid of how it would all manifest.
“y/n—“ Jeonghan’s words got muffled when you kissed him again, pushing your laptop away from his lap to kiss him properly.
His hands found your cheeks, tongue eagerly meeting yours as his body crowded you until your back met the mattress. Before you knew it he was already on top of you. “You little minx,” Jeonghan mumbled jokingly, squeezing your face before kissing you harder.
You knew you probably shouldn’t have initiated anything, but it all just felt so natural. You kept kissing him, sucking on his bottom lip before teasingly biting the supple skin. Jeonghan groaned, gripping your shoulders to keep you pinned below him.
“Thought you wanted to go see Soonyoung?” Jeonghan asked, moaning when you purposely tugged on the ends of his hair.
You shook your head, taking in a sharp breath when Jeonghan broke the kiss to tentatively encircle your throat with this hand—softly—just to see your reaction.
He seemed oddly surprised to see the aroused look in your eyes, smirking as he softly leaned in—only to stop right before his lips made contact with yours. He giggled meanly when you tried to kiss him back, a brief veil of shame tingling your body.
“Aw, you wanna kiss me that bad?” he cooed, pouting at you mockingly. Jeonghan loved to have you like this, all shy and nervous. So unsure.
“Are you not gonna answer me, ducky?” Jeonghan tightened his grip on your neck a little, biting his lip as he smiled cockily watching your eyes widen. Only, he easily could tell you wanted more.
“You like this, huh?” he grinned.
You tried to nod. “Like anything u do, Hannie,” you admitted, making him mumble a curse in response.
Your words only spurred him on more, and a euphoric feeling spread through his body as he watched you sprawled out underneath him with his hand fanned out over your throat. The sudden high caught him off guard.
He gave your nose a soft kiss, softly pulling away to look at you. He paused for a moment before letting go of you, smiling apologetically when you seemed confused.
“What’s wrong?” you whispered, frowning.
He sighed. “I don’t know about this, ducky,” Jeonghan slowly turned on his side and moved a lock of your hair from your face, not quite knowing why he suddenly felt this odd feeling brooding inside of his chest.
You mimicked him by turning on your side, staying quiet for a moment as you thought. “Do you… regret what happened?” you whispered, suddenly feeling insecure.
Jeonghan shook his head. “No. No, baby. You know I want to—It’s just—We shouldn’t, you know? We’re only…” he sighed, not finishing his sentence.
You slowly nodded, but you really didn’t care about what was right and what wasn’t. You didn’t want to say it, but you having sex had been because of Jeonghan initiating first. It was his fault, so you really didn’t care.
You leaned in to peck his pout. “I know… I do, just—just for a little bit, Hannie,” you got even closer, the tops of your fingers grazing his chest before finding their way down. Jeonghan stroked your cheek before leaning in to softly kiss you again, sighing as your hand brushed over his crotch.
Despite knowing what was right, he wanted this too. Jeonghan needed to have you. Over and over again.
He began to undo your jeans as your hand slipped down his, smiling as you started stroking his hardening cock.
Jeonghan moaned at the feeling of your hand pumping his length, biting his lip whilst the tips of his fingers teased your slit over your panties.
“No teasing.” you warned him, earning a knowing grin from the boy in front of you.
“Alright,” he released a shaky breath, fingers easily finding your wet clit to play with.
You were both still laying on your sides, and your head tipped back as pleasure bloomed inside of you. Jeonghan took the opportunity to kiss your neck, his teeth dragging across your skin to incite a gasp from you.
“More, Hannie,” you whispered, angling your hips for him.
Jeonghan sucked the skin under your ear, keeping his fingers at a set pace without straying from your bundle of nerves. He knew you’d be asking him for more soon, and that’s exactly why he didn’t plan on giving in just yet.
You squeezed his cock at the lack of response, making him meet your eye as you began moving your hand faster. You could just tell by the look he was giving you he was up to something, sighing at him in pleasurable annoyance.
You went even faster, earning a high-pitched whimper from Jeonghan, who still didn’t give you what you asked for.
Agitated, you halted all movement to hook your leg over his hip, pressing your lips against his while starting to grind your cunt against his hard cock.
Jeonghan firmly grabbed your hip, moaning against your lips as he grinded with you.
Your tongue slipped into his warm mouth, your arms encircling his head to keep kissing him.
Annoying, suffocating clothes found the floor, your bodies quick to find each other again after discarding all of the pieces of fabric.
“Fuck,” Jeonghan mumbled against your lips. He squeezed your ass, helping move you against him till the both of you were left panting in each other’s mouths.
“Please, Hannie. M-more,” you moaned at the friction of his length gliding between your pussy lips, his tip rubbing your clit as his balls pressed against your entrance.
Still, Jeonghan wanted to tease you. An image of you crying, begging for his cock haunted his head, and he needed to see that come true with his own eyes right this moment.
“Can’t,” he said between kisses, making you whine.
“Hannie…” you tried again, nibbling on his bottom lip.
Jeonghan smacked your ass hard, gripping your skin as he moved you harder against him. You moaned at the pain and pleasure, your hand finding a lock of his hair to hold onto.
“Y-Yes we can.” you softly tugged on his hair, commanding his attention. You pecked his lips softly, hoping to get what you wanted.
Jeonghan chuckled in amusement, spanking your ass again. “No.” he said, smiling at the hiss leaving your mouth.
He took notice of you getting agitated instead, figuring if he wanted you to cry for him he needed to fuck you to tears instead.
“Hurry, Jeonghan.” you complained in annoyance, having had enough of his games. Jeonghan hummed, giving you a soft kiss before moving a hand down to grab his hard cock. “You’re so needy,” he said in amusement before aligning his tip with your entrance, only getting a breathless sigh in response.
He sheathed himself inside of you in one go, moaning at the feeling of your pussy. Oh, how he’d missed this.
You whimpered at the stretch, hooking your leg tighter around his hip so it wouldn’t slide down.
Jeonghan started kissing you roughly before beginning to thrust, wrapping his arms around you to keep you pinned against his body. You moaned against his lips, gripping his locks for support as you relished in the feeling of him fucking you.
Still, he had this urge to be even closer to you, though he didn’t know how. Jeonghan rolled you on your back, looking into your eyes as he set a slower, much deeper pace.
“Hannie…” you sighed, cupping his cheeks to give him a long kiss. Jeonghan smiled at you when you pulled back, resting his forehead against yours as he kept going.
He suddenly felt the need to be gentle with you, to show you how much you had started to mean to him in such a short period of time. He couldn’t stop looking at your face—at the way your jaw tightened every time he bottomed out, or how your mouth opened and closed autonomously. Your drawn eyebrows twitched with every sound spilling out of you, the sounds like music to his ears.
You wrapped your legs around his waist, your hips stuttering at how deep he was. “Don’t stop,” you moaned, putting your arms around his torso. You bit your lip as you looked up at him, Jeonghan’s fingers slowly stroking up your side before he wrapped his arms around your body too. You looked at each other, room quiet apart from your mixed pleasure, together with the forgotten sounds of the bed creaking. Rhythmic, deep thrusts brought you both closer to the edge, your breathing getting louder as you forgot about the outside world. Or the situation you were in.
As you came around Jeonghan with a guttural moan, he found himself losing control. You pressed your lips to his, nails digging into his back at the peak of your orgasm. Jeonghan spilled inside of you next, holding you tighter with a groan to match yours.
Your body squirmed, hips slowly grinding against him as you came down from your high. You peeled your lips from Jeonghan, who tried to catch his breath as you gave him a smile.
Somewhere there, he contemplated if he’d just made love to you, blinking through his haze. Did he? Did you think so too?
He gave your cheek a peck before rolling off you, feeling your warm body seeking his. “Tired?” he asked, stroking your shoulder. You hummed while nodding, putting the covers over your bodies.
As Jeonghan lay on his back, catching his breath and watching your blinking, tired eyes grow heavier, it suddenly all made sense to him. The stubborn unwillingness to push Soonyoung to ask you out, the selfish need to keep you close for just a tad longer, or the odd knot in his stomach whenever he looked at you.
His eyes found your soft lips, swollen and chapped from kissing you for what felt like hours. Your mouth shyly curled up as you snuggled against him, the soft pads of your fingers stroking his chest before nuzzling your cheek against his arm. Your naked bodies pressed together, seeking closeness despite still feeling hot from the sex.
He felt it as he looked at you. A warm feeling spread through his chest, reaching every corner and crevice of his body.
Jeonghan had fallen for you.
Before he could stop himself he gently lifted up his hand to stroke your cheek, resisting the urge to sigh when your eyes closed instinctively.
He also realized he had been sabotaging your chances with Soonyoung—not intentionally, of course. Or maybe it was.
Fuck, he felt bad. He felt like an asshole for being so selfish. For falling in love with you.
A part of him screamed at him to just keep going like he had been. Just for a little bit. But it felt unfair to you, despite how much he liked spending time with you. It had been so easy making you a part of his life, his routine—as natural as breathing. He didn’t want it to end.
But he knew you were doing this for one reason only. It was his problem he had fallen for you, and from now on he knew he had to help you.
You were amazing, funny, and smart—And Soonyoung would see that too. He knew he would. He had to. And even though Soonyoung had never explicitly brought you up, you were insanely cute.
“Hey, y/nnie?” Jeonghan whispered, secretly hoping you would be already asleep.
“Hm?” you opened one eye before the other, making Jeonghan smile weakly as he started stroking your hair.
He almost couldn’t get the words out, his voice seemingly stuck in his throat. He forced a cough. “Maybe it would be a good idea to ask Soonyoung out yourself,” he suggested, his tone devoid of sincerity.
You blinked at him, your brain barely functioning with how tired you felt.
“Really?” you whispered, failing to hide the frown creasing your brows. The words almost hurt your stomach. Even if you wanted to, you didn’t think you’d have that kind of courage.
“Yeah. I forgot he’s kinda terrible at making the first move. He can be shy like that. He will definitely say yes, though,” Jeonghan nodded, giving you a smile.
Slowly, you nodded too. “I hope so.” you mumbled, making Jeonghan chuckle.
“I know so. Told you he thinks you’re cute,”
“Alright,” a smile slowly spread over your face. Jeonghan did know Soonyoung best, and if he thought it would work then you would at least try to gather your courage.
“Thank you, Hannie.” You kissed Jeonghan’s cheek before closing your eyes again, relaxing against his warm body as he pulled you closer.
You couldn’t help but feel sad it would really be over like this.
After three whole days of contemplating on how to approach Soonyoung, you were at a loss. It also didn’t help that Jeonghan hadn’t texted you at all in the last couple of days, which was unlike him.
You chewed on your bottom lip as you sat outside on a school bench, ignoring the background noise as the people around you went on about their day.
You really missed Jeonghan. And although you realized you had probably only played a small role in his life, and you had only started to get to know him for a short time, you grieved the time you spent together.
You exhaled a long sigh.
It didn’t matter anymore. This had all been for Kwon Soonyoung anyway.
You had spotted him twice in the last few days. Once on campus, and once sitting outside on the same bench you were sitting on now.
You were hoping he would walk by and spot you, and the conversation would flow naturally from there. A part of you was nervous you would actually see him, afraid you’d shut down and not know what to say, make a complete fool of yourself.
At least you’d have your answer then. You could go back to your boring life to study and not go out again in the safe bubble you’d lived in your entire life.
That had been your life, and you were happy with it. But now, the thought of going back to the way things were seemed boring to you.
No, you needed this to work. You were done sabotaging yourself.
All the doubt, the anxiety, the newfound reluctance that had been growing—it was all merely fear of change. Fear of stepping out of your comfort zone—and maybe, even fear of happiness.
This had all been so scary for you, so new and intense. But it would all be worth it soon. You prayed it would be.
“y/n?”
You snapped out of your haze to find Joshua standing in front of you, his lips curled up in a kind smile.
“Oh, Joshua,” you straightened your back and smiled back at him, noticing the black-rimmed glasses sitting on his nose. Jeonghan had once joked about him wearing them as a fashion statement, and you had to stop yourself from suddenly laughing in his face like a freak when you noticed the lack of lenses in them.
Thankfully, Joshua didn’t notice the weird smile showing on your face.
“How are you doing? I heard you’re getting cosy with Jeonghan these days,” he smirked as he sat down next to you.
You shyly chuckled, shrugging. Though Jeonghan had audibly called what you were doing ‘fake dating’, the two of you had never explicitly mentioned the D word to anyone. Just to avoid scaring off Soonyoung.
For some reason you felt bad for lying to Joshua. You felt like you had genuinely connected with him at the party, and though you hadn’t spent much time with him outside of that one night, you had this urge to tell him the truth.
He wasn’t just Soonyoung or Jeonghan’s friend anymore, he felt a little like yours too. You trusted him.
“It’s nothing,” you told him with a sigh, still pondering on what to do. Maybe a fresh perspective could give you some insight. You kinda needed someone to talk to about this, and what you and Jeonghan did was in the past now anyways.
“Oh? Sure doesn’t seem like nothing with those raunchy hickeys Jeonghan was walking around with the other day.” Joshua had a mischievous twinkle in his eye, and for a split second you could see Jeonghan in him. Maybe that's why you felt like you could be honest with him.
Your face heated up, trying to suppress a smile as Joshua grinned at you.
“Joshua, can I…tell you something? And promise it stays between us two?”
Joshua cocked up his brow in curiosity, but nodded nonetheless. “Of course,” he told you.
You let out a deep sigh. “Jeonghan is helping me get with Soonyoung,” you said carefully, afraid of what Joshua might think. “It’s just for show, or whatever.” you added, watching Joshua cross his arms over his chest.
“You’re not really together?” he asked, making you hum.
“So it’s all for Soonyoung? It’s him you like?” he frowned, and you nodded at him.
“Gosh, and here I thought Jeonghan finally stopped hiding that thing he had for you,” Joshua chuckled, shaking his head. You frowned at him. “Guess I was wrong,” he sighed with a smile.
“What thing?” you leaned into him, cocking your head to the side.
Joshua paused for a moment, blinking. “You know, the teasing in class, trying to get your reaction,” he explained as if you were aware he had actually been targeting you.
“What do you mean? He never teased me.” you frowned.
Joshua laughed at that. “Sure he did. He talked about you a lot, you know. How he loved getting a reaction out of you. You really never noticed?”
You pouted, confused. “I mean, he did annoy me. But I didn’t think it was targeted to me. I don’t think it was.”
Joshua laughed again, his eyes turning smaller as he did. “It definitely was,” he told you in amusement. “I always suspected he had a little crush on you, but he would never admit it to me. Just said he liked teasing you,” Joshua shrugged. “Guess I was wrong, since he’s helping you with Soonyoung.”
Slowly, you nodded. “Right,” you agreed. But there was an odd feeling in the pit of your stomach thinking about the concept of Jeonghan having a ‘thing’ for you.
“You sure looked convincing, though. I’ll give you that. You’ve got everyone fooled.”
His words didn’t reassure you like you had hoped they would. You and Jeonghan needed to look like you were into each other, but not too much. Because would Soonyoung really give you a chance if he thought Jeonghan and you were serious?
“What do you think I should do? Maybe this whole thing has gone too far already,” you chewed on your bottom lip, panic seeping through your body. You should’ve stopped after making out with Jeonghan. And you really shouldn’t have had sex with him. The speculation alone would be dangerous for your potential with Soonyoung.
Joshua put his hand on your shoulder. “I wouldn’t worry too much, y/n. Just go hang out with Soonyoung? If it feels good go ask him out.”
You sighed. “Alright,” you nodded. “I will.”
Joshua chuckled and pushed himself up, fixing the strap of his leather crossbody bag before briefly looking down at his phone to check the time.
“I’ve got to run. Tell me how it went?” he cocked up his brow.
“Okay.” you smiled a little. “Thanks, Joshua,”
Joshua winked at you, turning his body before quickly stopping himself and looking back at you again.
“Oh, and y/n?” he failed to hide a grin. “Try not to sleep with your fake boyfriend.”
You didn’t know how to react as he walked off theatrically.
As days passed, and you found yourself making more and more ridiculous excuses as to not approach Soonyoung, a sudden golden opportunity fell right in the palm of your hands.
Maybe you manifested it, since you hadn’t stopped daydreaming about all the different ways the talk you’d inevitably needed to have would turn out.
You were listening to some music as you did some minor grocery shopping, the basket in your hand filled with an array of fruits, vegetables, and a scandalous amount of snacks to balance everything out.
There was a soft tap on your shoulder, and you quickly turned around expecting you’d been in someone’s way, but instead saw Soonyoung’s chubby cheeks bulge in a cute way as he smiled at you.
You think you preferred the term God’s intervention.
“Hi,” you smiled shyly after taking out your earbuds.
“Hey! What’re you doing here?” Soonyoung giggled, clutching a protein bar in his hand.
You paused briefly. “Grocery shopping?” you said slowly, earning a laugh from the boy.
“Right. Of course.” Soonyoung laughed, peeking in your basket. “Cooking something tonight?”
You nodded. “That’s the plan. I just needed some vegetables for my stir-fry,” you chuckled.
“I wish I could cook. I’m banned from the kitchen,” Soonyoung scratched behind his ear, pouting.
You laughed at that. “Did you set off the fire alarm or something?”
“Twice...”
You laughed again, making Soonyoung smile. “You should cook for me sometime! Maybe I can learn from you.” he chuckled, and the request alone made your ears burn. Was he…?
“Y-yeah—Sure. I’m a good teacher,” you told him, and you suddenly noticed Soonyoung was wearing his football uniform.
“Oh. Do you have a game today?” The two of you slowly made your way to the cash register, chatting as you put your groceries on the conveyor belt.
“Yep. I’m about the head there right now,” he explained, waiting for you as you paid for your stuff. “You remember how we used to play together in elementary school?”
You chuckled at the memory as you walked out of the store together, reliving one of those moments in a very long time.
“The teacher didn’t allow me to play anymore at one point,” you smiled innocently, watching Soonyoung laugh out loud as he remembered exactly why.
“Yeah, because you would always kick the ball over the fence after losing.” he giggled, making you laugh as well.
“I was a sore loser,” you admitted with a shrug, smiling as you walked together. You briefly recognized how easy your conversation flowed with Soonyoung. Maybe you’d be able to muster up your courage after all.
“If you won’t throw our ball anymore, we can play again sometime,” Soonyoung suggested, making your stomach jump.
“Sure,” you replied in kind, as if you didn’t struggle to keep yourself from stuttering.
You made eye contact with Soonyoung, who smiled at you. You smiled back at him, but the corners of your mouth slowly started faltering as you realized you had to finally ask him out. You could faintly hear the yelling of a group of younger boys as you approached the football field, and you knew you had to act fast before it would already be too late.
“Hey, Soonyoung?” you called out his name a bit insecure, slowing your steps to fully get his attention on you.
Soonyoung lifted up his brows with that same smile, slowing down to match your pace, which came to an abrupt halt.
“Um,” you gulped. You took in a breath. “Do you… Would you like to go on a date—with me?” you inhaled deeply, trying to slow your breathing. You bit your bottom lip, already cursing yourself for your choice of words. Did you ask at the wrong time? Should you have asked differently?
When Soonyoung’s smile faded, and a confused expression took over his handsome face, you started rambling, “I mean—I’ve liked you since we were kids and—and—If you don’t like me like that then that’s fine too. I-I just thought—“
“y/n,” Soonyoung cut you off abruptly, placing his hand on your shoulder.
“You’re a very nice girl,” he started. You already knew what would follow.
“And you’re truly great, like really—“ Soonyoung paused before sighing. “I’m sorry y/n. I’m kinda seeing someone…” he said quietly, and by his tone you could tell he genuinely felt bad.
Slowly, you nodded at him. “Ah,” you forced a smile. “No worries.” you chuckled, but really you wanted to throw up.
“I’m sorry…” Soonyoung told you again, almost pouting.
“No—no, it’s alright,” you nodded again, not really knowing what to do next. You felt like you still wanted to ask him one thing, just so you wouldn’t spend months pondering on the what if’s.
“Did I ever have a chance?” you asked cautiously, knowing you probably wouldn’t like the answer.
Soonyoung blinked at the question, caught off guard. He looked down for a moment, seemingly thinking about the question before ultimately shaking his head, slowly.
You nodded understandingly. “Okay… Well, thank you for being honest, Soonyoung,” you briefly smiled at him, clearing your throat before speaking again, “I’ll see you around. Have a good game, okay?” you watched him nod apologetically before turning to walk away, chewing on the inside of your cheek as you started walking.
It wasn’t how you’d imagined heartbreak to be. It wasn't like your heart was breaking into a million pieces, you just felt…empty.
Tears welled in the corners of your eyes, fingers instinctively starting to reach for your phone before stopping yourself. You sniffled as you realized you had no shoulder to cry on anymore, a pitiful sob shaking your chest as you remembered Jeonghan had left you on delivered for a week.
There was purpose in your step as you made your way straight to the fraternity, not caring about any odd looks you were getting as you cried.
You merely wiped your face once before ringing the doorbell, trying and failing to slow your excessive breathing as you waited for the door to open.
The door swung open with a creak, revealing Mingyu with a smile on his face. “y/n!—Oh, what’s wro-“
“Where is he?” you sniffled, not waiting for an answer as you walked straight past Mingyu’s tall frame to Jeonghan’s bedroom.
You decided against knocking, opening the door to find Jeonghan laying on his bed scrolling on his phone. He lifted his head at the sound of the door opening, eyes widening as you walked in with wet cheeks.
“Where have you been?” you asked rather aggressively, eyebrows tightened as you tried to keep yourself from breaking down completely. Your lips trembled, walking up to Jeonghan who pushed himself to take in your current state.
“y/nnie… what’s wrong?” he asked, quickly getting up from the bed before your fist weakly collided against his chest.
“Why are you ignoring me?” you cried, fresh tears beginning to stream down your face. “I-I needed you and you disappeared,” you sobbed when Jeonghan’s arms pulled you in, hiding your face against his chest as he stroked your back comfortingly.
“I’m sorry…” Jeonghan whispered, kissing your temple before sighing.
You closed your eyes, holding him tightly as his familiar embrace warmed your body.
Jeonghan felt your body shake against his as you cried, pressing his cheek against your hair as his hand found your locks. “I’m sorry…” he said again, his chest burning painfully at the state you were in.
“He likes someone else.” you told him after a beat of silence.
Jeonghan sighed, softly shaking his head at what you were telling him. He felt horrible now, blaming himself for everything. For giving your false hope, for building up you confidence—only to watch it all crumble down before his own eyes. This wouldn’t have happened if he hadn’t been selfish.
“Fuck, y/n—I’m so sorry…” he apologized again, tightening his grip on you.
You sniffled, shaking your head. “‘s not your fault, Jeonghan.” you whispered, only making him feel worse.
If you only knew, Jeonghan thought. He should’ve never approached you back then. He’d spend time reflecting on his actions in the last few days as he kept his distance from you, knowing that deep down it had all been for his own self-gain. Annoying you, approaching you at the party. All along this had been about you and him, even if he didn’t realize exactly how much he liked you before he even offered to help you.
“It’s fine,” you concluded, sighing as you tried to stop yourself from crying. “It’s nothing new,” you croaked out, your voice breaking as you failed to stop the sob spilling out of you.
“Shh, ducky,” Jeonghan grabbed your cheeks to meet his eyes, wiping your wet cheeks with his thumbs as he looked at you. You gulped, tears brimming your pretty eyes.
“Can I please stay?” you whispered, fishing his shirt as you looked at him pleadingly. Jeonghan nodded, pushing his forehead against yours as he closed his eyes. “Of course, baby,” he sighed before pulling away from you.
Seeing you cry like this felt like a dagger to his chest. He wished nothing more than to take away your pain.
“You look so tired, ducky,” Jeonghan said while looking at you, wiping away another stray tear with his knuckle before nodding to his bed. “Take a nap, okay? Do you need anything? I can make you tea, or some snacks—“
“Just hold me, Hannie. Please?” you grabbed his hand, afraid he’d leave you.
Jeonghan nodded, giving you a weak smile as you crawled into bed together.
You sighed as you got comfortable against his chest, his warm arms already making you feel better. You nuzzled your cheek against him, resting your arm over his waist.
You smiled when Jeonghan looked at you, smiling back at you as he stroked your hair. You couldn’t help but laugh, the corners of Jeonghan’s mouth tugging up as he watched you. “What are you laughing at, weirdo?” he softly squeezed your cheek.
“I don’t know…” you admitted, your eyes feeling heavier as your exhaustion grew.
“Go sleep, okay?” Jeonghan whispered, making you nod.
You closed your eyes, softly sniffling as you became even more tired. You’d occasionally open your eyes to see Jeonghan looking back at you, your body becoming heavier as the minutes passed.
“Hannie?” you whispered tiredly after a while, fighting to keep your eyes open as he cocked up his eyebrows.
“Don’t leave again.” you told him, closing your eyes when he gently began to stroke your cheek.
Jeonghan smiled sadly as he watched you sleep, your soft snores painfully familiar. He really didn’t deserve you.
He didn’t know if he could keep promise what you were asking him, not when he had been the cause of your sadness.
“How many times are you going to keep checking your phone?” Joshua crossed his arms over his chest as he leaned against the lockers, grinning when you glared at him.
“I thought he would come today,” you pocketed your phone before starting to walk to your next class, Joshua humming next to you.
“I don’t know, he seems off lately,” Joshua shrugged, making you frown.
“He wasn’t at our project meeting today,” you pouted, resisting the urge to check your phone again. Thankfully Jeonghan wasn’t ignoring your messages anymore after seeing him, but that didn’t mean things were back to the way they were. Joshua was right, Jeonghan did seem off.
“How was that? You know, seeing Soonyoung,” Joshua asked carefully.
You bit your lip as you thought before shrugging. “It was fine.” you said casually, making Joshua cock up a brow.
“Really? You’re not, like, upset still?” you stopped walking once you reached your classroom, cocking your head to the side as you looked at Joshua. You then shrugged again.
“Not really…” you trailed off, pouting. “I feel oddly okay,” you nodded, giving Joshua a smile. Joshua hummed, not totally convinced. “Right,” he said, thinking.
Truth is, you felt… good. As though a weight had been lifted from your shoulders. You also didn’t really understand why, maybe you were still in denial, but you felt like you could finally start to let go of Soonyoung.
Joshua’s eyes strayed behind you when he spotted a figure resembling Jeonghan from the corner of his eye, watching his friend meet his eye before walking off without greeting him. Strange.
You followed his line of vision, looking over your shoulder to see Jeonghan’s back turning around the corner.
“Oh,” you said, perking up to give Joshua a quick look. “See you later, alright?” you told him before going to follow Jeonghan.
Joshua watched you jog to catch up to Jeonghan, sighing with a smile as you disappeared from his vision.
“Jeonghan!” you called once you got close to him, smiling as he turned to you, seemingly caught off guard.
“Hey. You weren’t at our meeting today,” you said, adjusting your bag that had slipped down from the short jog.
“Oh, y/n,” he cleared his throat awkwardly, making you frown. “I didn’t feel like coming,” he explained, his odd tone only leaving you more confused.
“Oh, well, we could really use your help next time. It’s kinda messy without you there,” you chuckled, smiling at him.
Jeonghan didn’t smile back at you, avoiding eye contact as he slowly opened his mouth to speak, “Listen, y/n… I’m—I’m dropping from the project,” he looked at you for a second, mumbling a ‘sorry’ before turning to enter the men’s restroom.
His words felt like a knife to the heart. “What?” you mumbled, gulping as he disappeared again. You were starting to believe you were dumb to trust Jeonghan. Maybe this was all a game for his own entertainment after all, because why else would he just drop you like this? Right after you asked out Soonyoung? The timing of it all was odd.
Anger bubbled up inside of you, shaking your head before following him inside. “What is your deal?” you spat, your jaw clenching as you watched him splash cold water in his face.
Jeonghan looked at you through the mirror before turning with a sigh. “Nothing. I just—“
“Why are you lying to me?” you asked, trying your best not to cry in front of him. Your chest burned, making fists of your hands as you watched him blink dumbly.
“I’m not lying, y/n.” Jeonghan raised his voice, only making you angrier.
“Yes you are. Why are you being like this?” you gulped, afraid you weren’t able to hold your tears for much longer.
“I thought we were friends.” you said quietly, your voice breaking.
Jeonghan swallowed a lump in his throat.
“Was all the time we spent together just a lie?” you felt a tear run down your cheek, all your fears swirling around inside of you. You couldn’t help but feel like you’d lost the only thing that had made you feel so alive these past few weeks.
Jeonghan’s face hardened, his jaw tensing hearing your words. He took a step closer to you, grabbing your underarm.
“I like you, y/n.” he said, the words making your stomach drop.
“Can’t you see?” he added quietly.
You didn’t know what to say, the noise in your head and the way Jeonghan was looking at you overwhelming you. You took a step back, slowly shaking your head as you made sense of it all. The lights in the bathroom were too bright, the sounds of the people in the hallway too loud. You could hear your heart pounding out of your chest and you wondered if Jeonghan could hear it too—you needed to leave.
Jeonghan took a step forward again, not ready to let you go before finally laying his heart bare. “Stop having a crush on Soonyoung.” he whispered pleadingly, softly grabbing your hand in his. Your breath hitched.
“And come back to me.” his frustration softened into a plea, big eyes plagued with vulnerability as he waited for your reaction.
You can’t do this.
You pulled your hand away, not saying a word as you rushed out of the bathroom, leaving Jeonghan by himself.
Tears clouded your vision, your head spinning and mind running as you rushed home. You couldn’t help but wonder if this had been the whole reason Jeonghan had offered to help you with Soonyoung. A part of you told yourself Jeonghan wasn’t that kind of person, yet you couldn’t confidently say you wouldn't have done the same.
What did he even see in you? For how long had he liked you? And was he ever even helping you?
You hid under the covers in your bed, the warmth of the blanket comforting you a bit as you cried soundlessly. Why didn’t you feel angry?
Maybe it had something to do with you not being upset after getting rejected by Soonyoung.
Did you even really want Soonyoung? Or maybe you just liked the idea of being wanted by someone.
You exhaled a shaky breath, hugging your pillow to your chest. You were so confused by everything. You knew you should feel some kind of way about this—whether it be anger or resentment—but the only thing you really wanted was to be hanging out with Jeonghan again. You imagined how things were before they all went wrong—talking, laughing for hours. Falling asleep next to him.
His absence had hollowed you out these past few days. Soonyoung had never made you feel special. But Jeonghan… Jeonghan saw you. Everything you’d been longing for had been so easy for him to give.
Maybe if you hadn’t been so wrapped up in the idea of liking Soonyoung, you would’ve seen what was in front of you all along. Maybe if this whole thing hadn’t started as a lie, your feelings would’ve been easier to untangle. But the one thing you couldn’t ignore was that you couldn’t lose Jeonghan.
The sky had darkened once you finally forced yourself out of your bed, dried tears decorating your cheeks as you rumbled through your bag to snatch your laptop. Maybe some trashy reality tv would help distract you.
As you lifted the laptop, a familiar object tumbled on the floor, rolling until it stilled in front of you.
You lip twitched seeing your duck pen, your stomach twisting painfully. You bend down to pick it up, looking at it for a moment before taking in a sharp breath, lifting your arm to launch it straight against the wall with a pitiful whine.
“Woah! What the hell?” Jaehee stood in the opened doorway with a puzzled look on her face, taking a second to evaluate the current state she’d found you in before slowly closing the door behind her.
“What’s going on in here? Are you okay?” she pouted before engulfing you in a tight hug. You shook your head, sighing and resting your face against her shoulder.
“Talk to me.” she whispered, rubbing your back.
“You’ll think I’m crazy,” you sighed.
“I just paid a witch to curse Mingyu. I can handle crazy,” Jae let go of you to sit down on the bed with you, grinning at the cackle leaving your mouth.
“Fuck—okay,” you rubbed your face. “Long story short: Jeonghan and I were never a thing. It was all a ploy to get Soonyoung. I asked him out a couple of days ago but he rejected me—“ Knowing how long you’d liked Soonyoung for, Jaehee already started pouting. “—But I’m fine—Oh, and Jeonghan just told me he likes me and then I ran away.” you finish with a sigh, making Jae’s eyes widen in surprise at the sudden twist.
“That’s a lot to unpack,” she started, looking at you. “I don’t suppose you’re throwing stuff because you don’t like him back and feel incredibly sorry for it?” she asked almost sarcastically, crossing her arms over her chest.
You sighed and shook your head.
“So you do like him? Then what’s the problem?”
You blinked at her. “I… I don’t know,” you frowned, looking down at your lap. “It’s not that simple.”
Jae raised a brow. “What’s not simple? You like him, he likes you. Where’s the disaster in that?”
“You make it sound so easy,” you muttered.
She let out a breath, then softened, reaching for your hand. “y/n, you really need to stop thinking so much.” A small smile tugged at her lips.
You sighed. “It’s just—I don’t think I allowed myself to feel what I felt when I was with Jeonghan. I pushed it away, convinced myself all of those feelings were fake since they were supposed to be. What if I give it a shot and find out I was right?”
“You’re too stuck in your own head. I’ve seen the two of you. You can’t fake the way you look at each other—unless you’re both Oscar-worthy actors, which I seriously doubt,” she chuckled.
You bit your lip, slowly nodding.
“Well, text him.” Jaehee bumped her shoulder against yours, your chest tightening at the thought of Jeonghan. Your face grew hot.
“Text him to come over,” she encouraged you, the corners of her mouth lifting up. You shifted on the bed, pouting as you thought it over.
Jae sighed at your apprehension and pulled out her phone, her nails tapping against the screen as she typed.
“What are you doing?” you asked meekly, watching your friend turn off her phone with a satisfied expression on her face. “He’ll be here soon.” she only told you, her hands resting in her lap demurely.
You blinked in surprise. “Huh?” you frowned. “Wha-What did you just send him?” you tried to reach for her phone, but Jaehee hastily got up from your bed moving her finger at you disapprovingly. “Nah-ah,” she sang, barely making an effort to hide the smirk on her face.
“Jae.” you warned her, pushing yourself up slowly.
“It’s nothing bad, promise! I just let him know that I can’t find you anywhere and your location is turned off,” she shrugged, making you gasp.
“That’s not nothing!” you raised your voice, crossing your arms over your chest with a sigh.
Jaehee exhaled a breath, giving you a smile as she hugged you again. “Don’t panic. Don’t you deserve to figure out what you’re really feeling?” she whispered, patting your head. You knew she was right. You nodded.
“Remember how it felt being his friend and just go from there,” she created some space between your bodies to look at you, smiling when you whispered a soft ‘okay.’
The two of you gave each other a look at the sound of a notification, reading Jeonghan’s ‘omw now’ message together.
“He won’t take long,” Jae told you, making you inhale a sharp breath. “I’ll meet him at the door, okay? Just—Just wait here, y/n.” she said, looking at you for a second before starting to leave your bedroom.
The room fell quiet after that, your nerves buzzing louder than anything else. You couldn’t sit still, shifting on the bed as your mind raced. Every second felt like forever—until a knock sounded at the door.
“y/n?!” Jeonghan rushed inside with a panicked look on his face, eyebrows drawn with a pair of big eyes meeting yours. “Are you okay?” he sighed, visibly relaxing at the sight of you unharmed.
You gulped, looking at him for a moment before abruptly getting up. You hastily grabbed the duck pencil from the floor and shoved it into his hand.
“I don’t want this back.” you said firmly, your jaw clenching as you looked at him with manic eyes.
He froze, staring at the object in his palm with confusion before lifting his gaze to you. Your anger faltered when you met his eyes, his pretty face making your own features soften despite yourself.
You gave him a small, sad smile.
“Hannie…” you whispered, tears burning in the corners of your eyes.
Your lip shook, pushing your face against his chest before you could stop yourself.
“I told you to never leave me again…” you mumbled, smiling at his familiar, comforting scent despite your tears. You put your arms around his body, embracing him tightly. “Please don’t…” you looked up at him, vulnerability creeping in at what you were saying.
Jeonghan only looked at you, his pink lips slightly ajar before meeting together in a subtle pout.
You realized it then, how oblivious you had been this entire time. How you needed Jeonghan as much as you needed air. How much you couldn’t live without him—and, finally, how much you loved him.
“y/n…” Jeonghan whispered, really hoping he wasn’t wrong about what you were getting at.
Your lips curled up in a smile, softly cupping his cheeks before pulling him down to meet your lips with his. Jeonghan gasped against your mouth, wrapping his arms around your waist to pull you as close as he could have you.
You bit your lip shyly when you finally pulled away, seeing Jeonghan smile back at you in a way that made your chest tighten.
“I like you too, Hannie,” you said softly, reaching for his hand to link your fingers together. Jeonghan’s eyes shrunk as he smiled at you, keeping his free arm wrapped around you to keep you pressed close against him.
“You like me, ducky?” he asked dumbfounded, squeezing your hand in his.
You shyly looked away, your smile growing wider as you nodded. “Yes…yes I do…” you told him, your face burning when you looked at him again.
“I didn’t even want to think about Soonyoung, because—because you were there. I didn’t want our time to end, Jeonghan.” you whispered, frowning. “The thought of losing you… I couldn’t do it. I just need you.” you confessed, gulping nervously.
Jeonghan giggled hearing your words, leaning in to kiss you hard. “Fuck, I’m such an idiot. I should’ve just asked you out from the start.” he breathed, pecking your lips again.
He pulled away to look at you, a hint of vulnerability creeping in his big eyes. “You really like me?” he asked again, his lips curling up in a shy smile as he looked at you expectantly.
You gently stroked his cheeks, your body tingling as you nodded. Looking at him, you couldn’t believe this was actually happening.
“Yes, Hannie.” You sighed, your heart beating out of your chest.
Jeonghan hugged you tightly, and somehow you were starting to feel emotional—the feeling reminded you of the first time he had held you in his bedroom. It felt as if you were coming home to a warm home after a long rainy day. It felt like drinking your favorite brand of coffee after a vacation, or having a dream you didn’t want to wake up from.
You closed your eyes and listened to his heartbeat, slowly calming down from all of the adrenaline.
You suddenly remembered what Joshua had told you, breaking the silence with a sudden silent laugh.
“Hm?” Jeonghan stroked your hair, smiling as he imagined what you could be thinking of.
“Did you try to annoy me on purpose? I mean—In class?” you pulled back to look at Jeonghan’s face, watching him blink at you in confusion before slowly grinning mischievously.
“Of course. Loved to see how many angry looks I could get from you,” he smiled, making you tsk. “I think I already kinda liked you back then, even if I didn’t realize,” he admitted with a chuckle. “You were always so polite. Even if you were shy you would smile at everyone,” his smile widened as he imagined it in his head.
“You really got on my nerves.” you hit his arm, making him only smile wider.
“Yeah?” he teased you, wrapping his arms around your shoulders before giving you a kiss.
“So you don’t want me to stay?” he asked, cocking his head to the side with a playful smile.
You tried to hide how giddy you felt, your cheeks burning at his question.
“Well, ducky?” he prodded, half teasing, half hoping you’d give him the green light.
You got close enough to kiss him again, feeling Jeonghan sigh against your lips as you slowly pushed him back on the bed with you.
The kiss deepened until all you could taste was him, warm and steady, the kind of sweetness that was becoming harder to imagine ever living without. Hands groped and lingered, yanking down fabric until the heat radiating off your bodies mixed together.
Jeonghan rolled on top of you, taking his time kissing you from your lips down to your belly button as his eyes admired the sight of you. You bit your lip feeling his tongue lick a slow stripe on your upper thigh before inching down to your pussy, softly gasping when his warm tongue found your clit.
Despite you not talking, you could feel that warm energy filling up the room, consuming you whole as Jeonghan savored you. You knew he felt it too, gentle fingertips brushing against your sides, hazed eyes watching you gasp and moan attentively.
Your body writhed feeling him go faster, biting your lip as your tummy burned. Before you would find yourself lost in the deep end, your shaky hand reached for Jeonghan’s to stop him.
If you were gonna cum, you wanted to do so with him. You needed him as close as you could have him, cupping his cheeks to bring him on top of you.
“Yeah?” Jeonghan whispered against your mouth in the middle of a kiss, making you nod. “Yeah.” you answered, pecking his lips as you looked in his eyes.
Jeonghan glided his tip over your entrance, collecting your wetness before slowly inching in, stretching you deliciously before bottoming out.
“God,” Jeonghan breathed, pushing his lips against yours with an almost desperate plea while slowly starting to grind against you.
You moaned fruitlessly when he set a faster pace, making Jeonghan echo your sounds at the way you were squeezing his cock. “C’mere,” he sighed, moving your legs over his thighs to feel you even deeper. Jeonghan linked your fingers together, pinning them down on the mattress as he licked into you.
“Hannie,” you squeezed his hands, feeling the muscles in your body tighten. You think you could already cum like this, closer to him than you’ve ever been.
Jeonghan nodded, sucking on your bottom lip hard enough to form a bruise. All you could hear were your breaths and whimpers, and all you could feel was the closeness you shared.
“Cum, baby. Cum for me?” he asked breathlessly, going faster again. You let out a loud moan, nodding in agreement as the sound of skin slapping echoed through the room.
“Fuck.” you whimpered, squirming against him as pleasure overtook you. You moaned again as you came around his cock, feeling Jeonghan’s warmth erupt inside of you as your walls clenched around him fruitlessly.
Your head spun, Jeonghan’s whimpers falling on deaf ears before grounding you with a soft kiss.
“I love you.” Jeonghan whispered out of breath, blinking as he looked at you with big eyes.
A shy smile spread over your face, your chest tightening at the words coming out of his mouth.
“I love you.” you whispered back, feeling as if this moment weren’t real.
Jeonghan’s lips curved up into the smallest, almost disbelieving smile before he hid his face in the crook of your neck. He gently let go of your hands to embrace you instead, peppering kisses on your shoulder.
“You’re mine now—for real this time.” Jeonghan said, lifting his head to look at you again. A smirk tugged at his features, humming at the smiley, almost shy nod you gave him.
“My girlfriend,” he giggled sweetly, giving your cheek a kiss.
“My ducky.” he whispered, nuzzling his forehead against yours.
“Hannie…” you laughed, but you couldn’t contain the smile playing on your lips.
Somewhere through the quiet whispers and hours of laughter you realized you didn’t feel alone anymore. You didn’t feel unlovable—you felt wanted, like every stolen kiss and every teasing joke was stitching something whole inside of you, something you had once believed could never belong to you.
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