Back in August, I would have told you that renting an apartment a block away from Greek Row was the worst idea ever. I thought maybe the eye candy would balance out having to deal with the constant noise and partying that happens all the time, but it turns out a good half of them are just here on Daddy’s money. Or at least the ones that live in the houses on this street. So many twink-y guys in Sperrys and sweaters. Good on them for having an aesthetic, I guess, but… it’s not for me in the slightest.
My type is more of the hyper-athletic bro, the same type that just happens to never give me the time of day. I know I’m a pretty book-ish guy, but it’s not like I’ve let my body completely go to shit. Surely there’s an athletic guy out there who does the same for his brain? Well, if there is, I sure as hell can’t find him. Bros only want other bros.
But now that I’ve met Calvin, I’m glad to have an apartment nearby. Not that Calvin is one of the frat boys I’ve been lusting after– no, Calvin is a warlock that I discovered on Fiverr. At least, he says he’s a Warlock, anyway. I don’t know the difference between a warlock or a wizard or a mage, and I don’t really care. For $3,000 he can cast a deep sleep spell so that he can swap my body with the frat bro of my choice. Which… is pretty damn steep. But, if I can find a way to get one of them alone and restrained, the actual body swapping part is only $200.
And there’s where the End of the Year Party comes into play. The weekend after Finals Week is a no-holds-barred kegger of epic proportions. And luckily for me, it’s tradition that anyone who passes out gets duct-taped to the wall next to the sidewalk that leads to campus. I’ve been walking up and down that path every half-hour since ten pm, eagerly hoping that one of my choices would be found suspended, and at 2 am it finally happened. There was Phillip, in all his muscular glory. I couldn’t believe my luck– he had been my first choice. Calvin couldn’t guarantee that I could access my new body’s memories for the first few days, and I had known Phillip back in High School– it would be easy for me to pretend to be him. Just act like a cocky jerk, and that was half the battle.
“I’ve made my decision,” I said, walking into Calvin’s house holding $200 from the ATM and a case of red bull. I’d told him about my plan to use the passed-out duct-taping to circumvent the need for a $3,000 sleep spell, and he had agreed to it.
Calvin flipped through the bills before slipping them in his pocket. “All present and accounted for, fair enough. Don’t forget to come back tomorrow afternoon so that I can make it permanent. So, do I know which body I’ll be putting you into? You won’t be conscious for that part of the spell,” he added, seeing my confusion. He started walking toward his basement, so I started following after him. “The first step involves me putting your soul into a jar, that’s the part which is expensive and time-consuming. After that, it’s just a matter of finding a body which can’t fight back so that the soul in the jar can be swapped out.”
I nodded in understanding. “I want Phillip’s body,” I said, climbing onto the stone alter that Calvin was pointing at. The basement was inexplicably eerie, with damp stone and candlelight that failed to fully illuminate all of the jars on the shelves. This was starting to feel like a bad idea, but I had gone too far to turn back now. Calvin placed the jar at my lips, and I found myself overcome with drowsiness.
When I woke up, I found myself taped to a cement wall. The anticipation was brutal, but I knew I wouldn’t be able to confirm much of anything until some of the brothers came back around in the morning to pull everyone down. Sure enough, when I pulled up the front camera on my phone, I found Phillip’s face staring back at me. The casual, mess hair… the strong jawline… I was starting to get erect just thinking about it. Phillip wasn’t quite my type… but with this chest and these shoulders, I would have no issues attracting my type.
Presumably something about the magic that Calvin had cast also allowed me to bypass the hangover that Phillip would have otherwise earned, because I felt totally fine. Calvin warned me it might take a few days before I gained all of Phillip’s memories, and he certainly had not exaggerated. I had no idea which room was mine… but I knew what kind of car I drove, and where I had parked it. I figured I would just drive around for a few hours before meeting back up with Calvin, but… seeing the gym bag in my back seat gave me a new idea.
It was the first time I had ever been inside of a gym before, but thankfully it was mostly empty on a Saturday morning, meaning that no one was around to watch me be clueless around some of these machines. Still, the feeling of power, the thrill of lifting weights that had been well outside of my capabilities the day before… I never understood why people enjoyed the gym before, but I had to admit, I was starting to see the appeal.
By the time my workout was over, I had regained enough memories to know which room in the house was mine, even if I didn’t remember my roommate yet. A quick shower, a few rounds of CS:GO, and then it was time for me to meet up with Calvin again so that he could finish the magic. “I’m finishing up lunch, come on over” he texted.
“Is that… why is my old body wearing a tuxedo?” I asked, staring at the scene in front of me.
“Does it matter?” Calvin asked, giving me a smug grin as he popped a piece of potato into his mouth. “It’s not like you’re using it anymore. Soulless bodies make for great servants– keeping your old body is part of why the spell was so cheap for you. I have to say, you’re a much better cook than I thought you would be. I don’t think I’ll have to do much tweaking there. Now, your cleaning skills, that will take me a few spells to get fixed. But your old body and I, we have all the time in the world.”
I clenched my fist, trying to sort through the emotions that were swimming through my head. “But if… if I’m in this body, and that body has no soul… then where did Phillip end up?”
Calvin smiled. “Phillip is still trapped in this jar.” He pointed at the glass jar on the other side of the table, that was, apparently, filled with a human soul. “Nature abhors a vacuum. A soul in someone else’s body, nature doesn’t like. Two souls in each other’s bodies? Nature hates that more. If you open that jar, his soul will go back to his body, and your soul will go back to yours. The only way you can keep your new body is if Phillip stays in the jar. The jar is yours to keep, by the way,” Calvin said, wiping his lip with a napkin. “I don’t need to cast a final spell or anything, I just need for you to take the jar with you. If you decide you want to switch back, you have one week to open the jar, and nature will take care of the rest. After that, his soul will have spent too long outside of a body, and it will evaporate.”
“I… I didn’t mean for him to…” I paused, considering the moral dilemma for the first time. I had never actually thought about what would happen to Phillip once I stole his body. And, I had to admit… the more I thought about it, and the more I remembered how much of a dick Phillip had been… the less I cared. On some level, I think I knew exactly what I was doing. I looked down at my chest and my arms, giving my new muscles a quick flex. Yes, this was exactly what I had paid for. This was mine, now.
“I’ll take it as a keepsake, I guess,” I said, grabbing the jar off the table. “Thanks for your help, and… uhh, enjoy your new servant, I guess.”
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