Guess who’s back?
... back again, Gossip Girl’s back, tell a friend. Genuine apologizes on that cringe worthy introduction, it had to be done; in my defence we all know we were singing that song in our heads. You probably all know who I am or have at least heard of my legacy, unless you’ve been living under a rock for the past couple years. But for those who don’t, welcome to my darling blog. Here you will find all the dirty little secrets and happenings that go on at Northvale. All of those skeletons in your closest are soon coming out, baby. So prepare yourself for the making or breaking of your college life, will you fall or fly?
Out of the kindest of my heart I will give you a handful of tips for if you have any hope of surviving this college, you can thank me later. Rule #1 - keep your friends close but your frenemies closer. Rule #2 - trust no man, fear no bitch. Rule #3 - if you’re going to send nudes to that douchebag in Calc 3 make sure they’re pornstar worthy because the whole school is bound to see them. Rule #4 - I don’t know why I’m even stating this because no one will listen but do not get to hammered at the welcoming party unless you want to hook up with someone you have known all of 24 hours and get labelled as a slut... Actually, scratch that, that would be juicy content for my blog.
Okay, I could go on for days over these rules from many years of experience watching you sweethearts repeatedly fuck up over and over again but I will leave you with one more anecdote that hopefully will keep your gossip buds tantalized... our principle, Dean Simmons, keeps a 50 year old bottle of scotch in the top draw of his office desk under lock and key and for many years it has been challenged for someone, anyone, to steal it and drink it. In all of those 50 years no one has succeeded and you’re bound to go down in Northvale history (a legacy that will be remembered for many years after you go) if you triumph in stealing it. So that is my challenge for anyone who accepts it, steal the scotch and get absolutely pissed at the welcoming party on Friday. And if you succeed? Lets just say I will make life a hell of a lot easier for the winner, an offer you simply can’t let pass.
Ah, there’s nothing like a fun little game to start off the new school year. Good luck my darlings, not just for the challenge but for all that you will learn that comes with the Northvale boarding package. Oh and for other less formal snippets of gossip, check out my ask.fm page: @newnvqueen.
You know you love me, XOXO, Gossip Girl.










