I shall do my Bonzo best as leader

Kari (they/xe) Mr Bonzo's #1 fan because I refuse to believe otherwise #bonzodidnothingwrong

[bonzobotdrum]

Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: The Magnus Archives (Podcast) Rating: General Audiences Warnings: Major Character Death Relationships: Martin Blackwood/Jonathan "Jon" Sims | The Archivist, Sasha James/Melanie King, Basira Hussain/Alice "Daisy" Tonner, Jurgen Leitner is Jonathan Sims' father Characters: Jonah Magnus, Elias Bouchard, Jonathan "Jon" Sims | The Archivist, Martin Blackwood, Sasha James, Melanie King, Tim Stoker (The Magnus Archives), Basira Hussain, Alice "Daisy" Tonner, Jurgen Leitner, Michael | The Distortion (The Magnus Archives), Rosie Zampano, And assorted other staff of the Archives, (Also most of them have surname changes but thats irrelevent) Additional Tags: The Magnus Archives detective AU, complicated relationship between Jonah and Elias' existences, POV First Person, POV Third Person Limited, POV Elias Bouchard | Jonah Magnus, POV Alternating, Brutal Pipe Murder of Jurgen Leitner, also the Leitner rant gets mentioned a couple times because I found it fun, ambiguous time period (somewhere between the Industrial Revolution and World War 2), I spent far too much time looking up niche facts to hide them in this fic so have fun trying to spot them, this entire thing was based on the double pun in the title and I'm not sorry, your favs are all rich pricks now sorry Summary:

Elias Bouchard, better known as Jonah Magnus, is the best private eye in the whole of London, to the point where he actively ignores most of the 'juvenile' calls he gets. One stormy night though, he receives a case from a very familiar voice, informing him of the murder of Jurgen Smirke, patriarch of the Hilltop Hall household. Despite the inhabitants' rather infuriating quirks, Bouchard races to beat Officers Hussain and Tonner, uncover the mystery of his newfound power and why he was led here, and possibly solve Jurgen's death too. Who is the mysterious Michael? What lies at the heart of the mansion's network of tunnels? Why is Martin so pathetically in love? All these and more will be answered in... Magnus, PI

(Best enjoyed with The Magnus Archives wiki and an empty tab on your search engine of choice)

[kitkat-the-muffin]

Who else up cudgeling their brains?

[pansyfemme]

yes im addicted to attention and orgasms and food and shiny jewlery and 7$ Iced Lattes. does that really not sound like an awesome lifestyle to you

[pangur-and-grim]

my humours have balanced. I have become mentally normal again

[pangur-and-grim]

no, mentally normal people can still write spider sex books

[teaboot]

YOU

[softlessviolence]

[spatscolombo-deactivated2022030]

How DARE Tolkien omit in the final draft the information that the traditional hobbit marriage custom is to have unspoken vibes for years and then disappear without explanation for an indeterminate length of time!?

[tehri]

#where's the fic where bilbo returns with thorin in tow and no one bats an eye#like#'he married a dwarf did he? well he always was an odd fellow'#'good day to you master dwarf how's your husband?'#and thorin is just ?????#'how do they know i'm courting him? did he show them the mithril shirt?'#just give me all the hilarious culture clashes ok

@finegoddamnit​ how dare you hide this in the tags

[nevertheless-moving]

so that whole time merry, pippin, sam, and frodo are gone the whole shire is losing their minds arguing over who married who.

[justmori]

[ID: text from photo of Tolkien. First Version

A LONG-EXPECTED PARTY

17

curious habit in their weddings. They kept it (always officially and very often actually) a dead secret for years who they were going to marry, even when they knew. Then they suddenly went and got married and went off without an address for a week or two (or even longer). When Bilbo had disappeared this is what at first his neighbours thought. 'He has gone and got married. Now who can it be? - no one else has disappeared, as far as we know.' Even after a year they would have been less surprised if he had come back with a wife. /END ID]

[kkshowtunes]

google siting ao3 as a source is so unhinged

[strawberrygirldick]

Google is quickly approaching a fucking unusable state

[6thlovelanguage-deactivated2020]

dark green is a nice color. underrated

[hesitating]

ladies and gentlemen, Phtalo Green

[poemsingreenink]

[catasters]

[catsithkelpie]

I cannot describe how much I laughed at this.

Sound is VERY important.

[ceaseless-tosser]

trans martin is canon because how the fuck did Jon not figure out he never went to college unless he assumed Martin did so under a deadname.

[ceaseless-tosser]

"yes im looking into all my coworkers because i think they might kill me i was able to stalk Tim and Sasha back through their professional and academic careers there's absolutely nothing on Martin anywhere though and Georgie says its 'a bad look' to ask someone for their dead name"

[ceaseless-tosser]

"This is literally life or death for me I am willing to push and alienate everyone but fuck no I'm not going to intrude on Martin's history pre-transition #ally"

[cutecipher]

[dogpuppy]

[homunculus-argument]

A sick wizard castle with a nondescript van painted on the side. A gothy pin-up girl with the portrait of a random trucker tattooed on her thigh. A bathroom-themed beach vacation. A beautiful brightly coloured cupcake that tastes like soap.

[quite-possibly-haunted]

Jesus with a portrait of my grandma on his wall. A scimitar-wielding fantasy protagonist reading about the adventures of sixth-grader Kelsey. A National Park with a framed print of somebody’s living room.

[frankenfran]

video game secret: there's clever wordplay hidden in the title of the game "nintendogs". the word "dogs" is cleverly added on to the name "nintendo" to form the word "nintendogs". this is actually a reference to the concept of "puppies"

[dappergamelord]

every lyric annotation on Genius reads like this

[the-cheshire-cat-grin]

Lil nas x coming back during pride month to tell us hes been taking care of his physical and mental health, finishing rehab and getting treatment for bipolar disorder, and telling us that he is excited to not only make new music but also just to live his life???? And during mens mental health awareness month????? Oh i missed him bad

[mens-rights-activia]

Lets Goooooooo Shoutout to @leanmeantrashmachine and @dingdongyouarewrong

[leanmeantrashmachine]

A banger, thanks for letting me the video vixen 😂

[killjoygem]

Is this the same person from the anemone video??!

[killjoygem]

I was right and im so sorry fjdnskllm

[fabricacorporum]

Games Men Play (1979)

[segamascott]

tekken 8