Lo Feo

This my diary.

[nostalgicahole]

I am working on my relationship with food and setting a clear boundary for when I am full. So imagine my frustration when my mom asked if I wanted dinner and I said no I am good, I am still full from lunch but she reheated something anyways. And the guilt tripping that followed - omg.

I didn’t eat the food. I am full. I do not want to overeat. I do not want to eat out of guilt.

Do I still feel extremely guilty? Yes. Do I feel ungrateful, spoiled, and wasteful? Hell yeah.

[nostalgicahole]

Omg I just got my back blown out and lemme fucking tell you no one has ever fucked me like that or for that long omfgggggg 🤤🤤🤤🤤🤤🤤

[nostalgicahole]

Today in therapy: my therapist made me realize;

The reason why I don’t talk or bring up my problems or feelings is because as a child my parents didn’t acknowledge or make space for my emotions.

[nostalgicahole]

Learning to regulate my emotions is hard af lmfao I have constant headaches and guilt/shame trips for letting certain shit get me. I’m giving myself grace periods to let things impact me like before because I’m still learning but at some point I have to start being really strict with myself.

I wish I could go back to being numb, I want to so bad but I’m older and somewhat wiser and have since realized … that being numb is unhealthy as fuck. Actually I’m suffering the consequences of being numb for so long, not putting in the work to deal w my intense emotions, these days because I literally have no idea or concept on how to deal with any of my emotions lately. The barriers I put up mentally are crumbling everyday.

It’s so weird because I’ve always been a sensitive person but I have no emotion regulation or healthy coping mechanisms. I know why now. I’ve forgave them because they did not have any emotional support either.

[nostalgicahole]

Came back from vacation w 100 unread messages and my work email packed and filled plus IMs and questions …… I needed a break and I got one from my world and I loved it

[nostalgicahole]

I hate the fact that I am so attached to you :c like I’m over here sad af going home and they’re probably okay I need to go to therapy and work on myself I’m so fucking sad about everything and I need a hug and some affection from them

[thickietallz-deactivated2023123]

I’m sure you’re lookin’ for this

[nostalgicahole]

I need my friend to wake up to evaluate the petty shit I just did lmfao

[nostalgicahole]

Someone really posted a picture of the shooting in the NY subway

[nostalgicahole]

I’m honestly in awe because I post I’m sad as shit someone offers to send me videos of them making their privates move ???

[nostalgicahole]

I’m falling apart and he’s trying to so hard to hold me together but it doesn’t work. It will never work

[sansgod]

I like calling guys pretty so they know I’m the alpha in the relationship

[gaiahealing-deactivated20200719]

apparently i lost followers for speaking up, so i'm gonna say it again.

racists are not welcome on my blog. anyone discriminating other human beings for their race, gender, disability or sexuality is not welcome. anyone thinking they are superior to other humans are not welcome.

thanks for unfollowing.

[nostalgicahole]

People tire meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

[nostalgicahole]

Eeeeee I’m getting a lil overstimmy rn and I’m trying really hard to ground myself ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

[nostalgicahole]

Yes hello help Idk how to talk to my Tumblr crush 😭

[submittosubtitles-deactivated20]