vote for pedro (pascal)

❝ if i ever were to lose you, i'd surely lose myself. ❞

[nostalxgic]

𝒚𝒐𝒖'𝒓𝒆 𝒈𝒐𝒐𝒅 𝒂𝒕 𝒃𝒆𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒃𝒂𝒅 𖤓 𝒚𝒐𝒖'𝒓𝒆 𝒃𝒂𝒅 𝒂𝒕 𝒃𝒆𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒈𝒐𝒐𝒅 𖤓 𝒇𝒐𝒓 𝒉𝒆𝒂𝒗𝒆𝒏'𝒔 𝒔𝒂𝒌𝒆𝒔 𝒈𝒐 𝒕𝒐 𝒉𝒆𝒍𝒍.ᐟ

ೀ bri・24・she/her・blk.ᐟ・graphic designer・pisces baby ♓︎・multifandom (mainly pedro)・nsfw - 18+ mdni.ᐟ

✵ 𝒄𝒉𝒂𝒏𝒏𝒆𝒍 𝟎𝟏 : about me.ᐟ ✵ 𝒄𝒉𝒂𝒏𝒏𝒆𝒍 𝟎𝟐 : album posters.ᐟ ✵ 𝒄𝒉𝒂𝒏𝒏𝒆𝒍 𝟎𝟑 : pedro edits.ᐟ ✵ 𝒄𝒉𝒂𝒏𝒏𝒆𝒍 𝟎𝟒 : anime side blog.ᐟ ✵ 𝒄𝒉𝒂𝒏𝒏𝒆𝒍 𝟎𝟓 : social meeds.ᐟ ✵ 𝒄𝒉𝒂𝒏𝒏𝒆𝒍 𝟎𝟔 : etsy shop.ᐟ

☾ 𝒉𝒆𝒂𝒅𝒆𝒓 𝒊𝒏 𝒇𝒖𝒍𝒍 𝒔𝒊𝒛𝒆.ᐟ ✵

[nostalxgic]

posting these here bc i felt like a sexy video vixen in the 2000s

[nostalxgic]

turned 25 today...that's all bye🫥

(my 15th birthday polaroids under the cut 😭)

[natxsuku]

my absolute favorite meme recreation i've ever done😭

i also did his manga cover 🙈⬇️

[natxsuku]

nanamin cosplay from this weekend..🖤🐆

[louisegluckpdf]

in your 20s you must rediscover the joys of arts and crafts to stave off spiritual decay

[thedivinereverie]

A Burning Desire part five

firefighter!joel miller x f!reader

series masterlist | main masterlist

rating: 18+, minors dni

warnings: joel miller au, explicit content (smut– unprotected piv, oral [m & f receiving], fingering), lots and lots of (unsaid) feelings, angst (had to do it to ‘em one time [for the plot]), no use of y/n.

word count: 9.1k

synopsis: after spending an incredible weekend with joel, you finally realize how you truly feel about him—but with those feelings comes an ever-dreaded skepticism, which has you teetering on the edge of telling him or not.

​​​​​​There’s something about waking up in the arms of someone you really like.

And then there’s something about waking up in the arms of someone you love. 

It’s a warm feeling; something that’s nearly indescribable as the butterflies rumble deep in your belly. It feels like silent devotion, being wrapped in strong arms with a warm chest pressed tightly against your bare back. 

You didn’t think you’d ever get to experience this feeling again—but this time, certainty wraps securely around your heart and you feel so safe. You feel at ease. You feel like this is where you’re meant to be. 

And hell, it really is. You’re finally letting your walls crumble, torn down brick-by-brick by the very man whose heart beats steadily against your back. 

You’re in love with Joel Miller. 

Your gaze flicks to the digital clock on your nightstand. It was early, but you were buzzing with too much anticipation and need to even think about going back to sleep. Ever so slowly, you rotate your body in his arms so you’re face-to-face with the beautiful man, trying your best not to wake him from his deep slumber. You admire his features like this; he’s so relaxed and at peace. The usual crease between his brows when he’s deep in thought or being stern about something is nearly nonexistent. You lean your head up and kiss him softly in that area, moving to the crook of his nose next. 

His eyes twitch in the slightest, but besides that he’s like a log next to you, so you continue the featherlight assault of your lips on his warm skin: his cheek, the corner of his mouth, his forehead, and finally, his lips. 

His body slowly wakes before his mind does, and you can feel his hard-on against your thigh. You softly giggle to yourself and admire that he’s so receptive to your touch and kisses even while he’s still nearly fully asleep. 

You wanted nothing more than to wake him with your mouth taking his cock, but you haven’t crossed that threshold yet, nor has it been discussed between the two of you. So, you opt for continuously kissing his bare skin, moving down to his sturdy chest that’s dusted with a patch of hair. 

He groans softly, body twitching now as he slowly peels his eyes open. You rest your chin on his sternum as his beautiful brown eyes land on you, taking in the sight before him. 

“Good morning, cowboy,” you say, tracing light patterns on his pec with the tip of your index finger. 

“Mmm,” he hums, “Mornin’ sweetheart. What time is it?” 

He rubs his palms into his eyes, trying his hardest to fully wake himself up. 

“Eight. Breakfast with the newlyweds is at ten,” you explain, grateful in this moment that your sister loves to sleep in when she can. 

“Good. Means we can stay in bed a little longer,” he muses sleepily, head lolling back onto the plush pillows. 

“Mmmhmmmm,” you exaggerate your hum, still tracing patterns on his chest. 

He quirks an eyebrow at you, a smirk forming on his lips as if he can already sense what you want to do. 

“Also gives me more time to love on you,” he says, tilting your chin up so your lips can meet his. 

You gaze at him longingly, pressing another kiss to his chest—right over the strong beat of his heart. 

“It’s my turn to love on you, cowboy,” you say. You don’t offer an explanation, but you begin to trail featherlight kisses down his chest and torso, moving your body down the mattress. You stop just above his navel, looking up at him with a daring glint in your eye. 

He reaches down to cradle your cheek in his palm, rubbing his thumb back and forth across your skin lovingly. 

“You don’t have to, baby,” his voice is soft, but with the way his cock looks right now—all veiny and hard with pre come leaking from the tip—you were nearly salivating. You wanted to ravish this man head-to-toe, starting with this. 

“But I want to,” you simply say, shuffling down a little further. Joel deserves to feel the same pleasure he laid upon you just hours prior. 

Something of a soft groan escapes his throat, and that only makes this carnal need, a desire in you, that much stronger to please him. 

You gently grab his pulsing, silky flesh before giving it a couple of strokes. A sigh evades Joel’s lips, brows threading together before tossing his arm over his eyes, breathing becoming ragged. 

You lean forward now, swirling your tongue around the tip before sucking on it gently. Joel inhales sharply, obviously trying to keep himself in control, but this is a battle you both know he wouldn’t win. 

Your mouth is so soft and warm as you work around him, taking him in deeper. You keep a steady pace with the hand that’s stroking the rest of him that isn’t in your mouth, and you can’t help but lick the full underside of his cock. 

“Holy shit, baby—” Joel breathily moans, and you decide to take things a step further by dragging your tongue down even further, paying special attention to his balls. Joel’s body jolts at the sensation, and the most guttural growl evades his chest and reverberates off of the hotel room walls.

You might be enjoying this too much as you lap him up, stroking his cock in tandem with the movements of your tongue. You finally let up on him, moving your mouth back to the heavy, silky flesh that pulsates in the palm of your hand. 

You kiss his tip one more time before taking him as far down as you can, swallowing around him. You set a final steady pace then, bobbing your head up and down on him while using your hand once more to stroke what your mouth can’t reach. 

You can’t help but close your eyes in bliss and relish every pass you make, knowing you get to be the one to make him feel good. You get to see him like this—bed head, stuttered breath, naked body, quivering under your touch and sweet mouth. It really couldn’t get any better than this, you think. 

And you realize, you really are in love with this man. Every single inch of him, inside and out. A warm feeling wraps around your heart and squeezes, butterflies rumbling in your tummy for the millionth time. There really is no man like him, and you often think to yourself how lucky you are that he accepted your advances at the coffee shop. 

“Fuck, darlin’, right there, right there,” he’s panting now, and you can’t help but open your eyes and enjoy the way the sun shines on his chest. His skin is coated with a sheen of sweat, making him glisten in such an ethereal way. Even the top of his brow is perspiring, despite the temperature in the room to be fairly chilly. One of your hands lands gently onto his thigh, lightly scratching his hot skin with your nails. 

A groan rumbles from his chest once again, and it makes the pulsing between your legs ten times worse. You moan around him, dragging your hand that’s on his thigh down until it’s between your legs, fingers collecting your own slick before you begin to gently rub your clit. 

You gasp at the sensation, not expecting to be nearly as sensitive as you are, and Joel’s head snaps up when he hears how wet you are. You don’t relent on him, though. You take him deeper into your mouth, trying your best to swallow around him as your other free hand massages his balls. 

“Wh-What are you doin’?” His voice is desperate, strained and gravelly, and he can barely keep his eyes open at this point. He’s a mess in the most delicious way possible, and you hum around him, pleased with what you see. 

Your hand is doing a half-assed job as trying to pleasure your own self. You know damn well Joel’s mouth or fingers would please you ten times more—hell, especially his cock. He proved that to you last night, and he had plans in mind to do it once again. 

Joel’s body goes rigid and your hand leaves its position between your thighs, and you place it back on his own. He doesn’t hesitate to grab your hand and intertwine his fingers with yours while he’s frantically mumbling under his breath, clearly desperate for release. 

You don’t break eye contact with him now as you only move your mouth to his tip, swirling your tongue deviously slow around him. Joel twitches and it’s like his body can’t help it—he comes on the spot. No warning or anything, but you take everything that he gives you onto your tongue graciously before swallowing. 

You let up on him, giving his tip one more kiss. His body shivers at the sensation, and you continue to kiss his thighs, up to his torso, chest, neck, and cheek. 

He’s still trying to steady his breathing while he grips your thighs so you’re straddling him, and it takes everything in you not to drag your needy, dripping cunt onto his length. You want to moan just at the thought of it, but you’re holding on to the last bit of self control you have, which really isn’t much. 

“Hi,” you say, and you can’t help but smirk down at him. 

“Didn’t know you had such a dirty mouth, sweetheart,” Joel’s heart rate is slowly steadying itself, but the sight of you on top of him like this isn’t helping much. 

You think the poor man might need to get his blood pressure checked soon. 

“Well, now you know,” you shrug, and he can’t help but chuckle and roll his eyes. His gaze settles on your face, and his hand moves up to cradle your cheek. You nestle your cheek into the warm touch of his palm and watch him watching you, eyes heady. 

Your body is still buzzing with arousal, but you really didn’t want to ruin this moment with Joel. It seems as though he had other plans when his hand starts to trail down your body—the side of your neck, featherlight brushes over your collarbone, down your sternum, and your torso. 

He stops short above your pulsing clit. He can physically see your arousal coating the inside of your thighs and feel your body trembling in the slightest. 

“Oh, my poor baby,” he coos, “Now she’s all wet n’ needy for me, hm?” 

You don’t say anything. You watch him steadily, and your heart was beating so fucking hard in both places that you wouldn’t be surprised if he could feel it. 

His fingertips graze through the wiry hairs above where you need him most, and you’re not above begging him to touch you at this point. 

You need him.

Joel shifts his hips upwards, which causes his cock to brush against your cunt. You whine lowly, eyes falling shut as your eyebrows thread together in desperation. 

“Joel,” you breathe, and he shifts again. You’re so close to grinding yourself down on him, but he has other plans. He shifts your bodies so you’re now the desperate mess laying underneath him, and he’s tempted to just take you on the bed there, you think. 

But he doesn’t. He looks down between your thighs, admiring your glistening, puffy cunt before leaning down to give you a searing kiss. You card your fingers through his hair instinctually, tugging on the ends of it. 

Before things could escalate further, he separates himself from you and gets up from the bed. 

You genuinely feel like you could cry from the subtle teasing and lack of attention to your achy core. Joel offers his hand out for you to take, and you grab it hesitantly before he drags you up and out of bed. 

“What are you doing?” You echo his words from earlier, confused as to what he had in mind. He doesn’t say anything at first—just leads you into the big bathroom, opening the glass shower door. The floor was full of dark pebble stones which contrasted against the white walls, but it gave the shower a spa feel, especially with the built-in bench in the corner. 

Joel turns the shower on and grabs your waist, walking you backwards into the shower with him. The shower door snaps shut, and he’s on you. He’s kissing you with this hunger you’ve never felt before, so intense that it nearly knocks the wind out of you. 

You fist at his now semi-wet curls, pressing your body airtight to his. He moans into your mouth and his hands slide down to your ass, giving it a generous squeeze. You yelp in surprise and try to pull back, but he doesn’t allow it. One of his forearms is wrapped tightly around your torso while the other is against the shower wall. You’d probably fall if he wasn’t balancing you so well.

You felt weak in the knees, so enraptured by him. Every single cell in your body was screaming for his expert touch, for him to make you feel so good that you’d be thinking about this moment for weeks after. 

He pushes you gently against the tiled wall, the coolness sending a shiver down your spine. His free hand snakes down your body, making sure to feel every single curve, scar, and dimple your body has to offer. He was silently praising you and if he wasn’t kissing you so ferociously at the moment, you’d be overwhelmed with emotions. 

His hand eventually made its way to your torso, down down down until finally it’s where you need him most. You gasp into his mouth as his thick fingers slide through your slit generously, rubbing your clit slowly. 

Your head falls back against the wall, lungs burning from lack of air. You didn’t care though, you were already seeing stars just by enjoying the intimacy of simply making out with Joel. 

“So damn beautiful,” Joel murmurs, looking at you with a dark gleam in his eye. You don’t think you’ve ever seen him so ravenous for you. Just that very look makes your slick arousal stick between your thighs, wanting nothing more than to be devoured by him. 

Your lips part and you try to say something, but your brain is all mush and your limbs are shaking with need. His lips travel from your jaw to your jugular, giving your skin a little nibble before proceeding down to your collarbone and down to your breasts. 

He takes his time enveloping each pert bud into his mouth, toying with the other as he rolls it between his fingers. 

Your breathy moans are all that can be heard besides the water hitting the pebbled floor. You grab onto the back of his head, chest heaving as he gets down on his knees. He’s staring up at you like you’re the most divine thing he’s ever laid his eyes on. 

It makes heat rush to your face and you look away from the intensity of his gaze for a second. He grips your thighs, spreading your legs apart before shaking his head. 

“Keep those pretty eyes on me, baby,” he says, voice gravelly with an undertone of desperation. 

You bite your lip as you stare down at him, and he starts to leave a trail of kisses on your inner thighs. You brush his curls away from his face and give him a sweet smile, indulging in this little tender moment. 

He separates from you for a second before giving you a wicked grin, the once tender moment fizzling into pure carnal desire. 

“Don’t you hold back on me now, you hear me? I wanna hear those pretty sounds comin’ from my woman,” he says, and before you can respond, he dives his face right in between your thighs. 

His tongue laps up all of the slick that’d gushed from you, moaning into you at the taste of your arousal. 

You gasp and cry out his name, legs already trembling terribly. 

If someone told you a year ago that a man would have so much of an effect on you like this, you would’ve laughed in their face. You didn’t even think it was possible to feel like this, but Joel has done nothing but prove you wrong time and time again in the best way possible. 

“Fuck—oh, god,” you cry, feeling his tongue circle your clit before sucking on it profusely. A deep chuckle rumbles from his chest before he tears himself away from you, spinning you around so you’re now facing the wall. 

You don’t even have time to process what was going on until you felt his tongue on you again, but this time he prods the muscle into you and begins to fuck you with it. 

You whine loudly while clawing at the smooth surface of the tile, desperate to hold on to something. Joel pulls his tongue away from you before his hands slide up the back of your thighs to knead the plump flesh of your ass. 

“Anyone ever touch you back here?” Joel’s question takes you by surprise. You nearly choke on your breath, but you shake your head with a faint response. 

“No,” you say, and he hums. 

“Can I?” 

You try to clench your legs together at that, but his hands on you are too strong and prevent you from doing so.

“Please.” 

He doesn’t say anything else. He leans in again, licking your core before moving his tongue up to where nobody has ever touched you. You choke on a gasp when his tongue circles the tight ring, and you nearly fall to your knees. 

Christ, this man was going to be the end of you. 

He kept steady for a while, licking you up like you were the most delicious thing he’s tasted. One of his hands slid up your inner thigh once again, but this time, it was to insert two of his fingers into you. 

You’re a moaning, writhing mess above him and you’re slumped against the wall, rocking back onto his fingers and tongue. You feel the delicious warmth blooming in your belly, impending release coiling tighter by the second. 

You reach behind you and curl your fingers through Joel’s locks, tugging on them. You let out a lewd moan as the groan that evades him vibrates your whole body. You look down, only to see him pumping his semi-hard cock. Just the sight of that alone nearly sends you over the edge. 

“Joel, fuck, please—” 

“C’mon baby, give it t’me. Wanna taste you coming on my tongue.” 

And as if on command, your body gives in to his wishes. Your orgasm is forceful, ripping you apart at the seams as you scream his name. You really, really hope these walls are mostly soundproof. 

He drags you up with him before you nearly collapse from weak legs, and he situates you on his lap as he sits down on the bench. You’re gasping still, face buried in his neck as he rubs your back gently. 

“Jesus Joel, I really think you’re trying to kill me,” you huff, and you feel his shoulders shake from laughter. 

“Kill you? Never, baby. Jus’ wanna give my girl the pleasure she deserves,” he kisses your temple before you pull back to look at him, eyes all glossy and hooded. 

“Well she,” you pause to drag your fingertips over his warm, wet chest, “is one lucky woman.” 

“Mmm, is she now?” Joel’s tone is teasing and playful, and he scoots your body forward so you’re skin-to-skin once more. 

“Absolutely. You see the way those women were staring at you last night, knowing that you wouldn’t be going home with them, but with me instead?” You bring your face closer to his neck, giving his pulse point a few slow kisses. His hands move down to your hips, giving them a firm squeeze. 

“I take pride in getting to call you my man, Mr. Miller,” you lick his neck, slowly trailing your tongue up until your lips reach his ear. You reach down between you both, palming his rock hard cock before sliding the tip through your slick folds, notching his tip at your entrance. “All. Mine.”

You sink down onto him, both of you moaning in tandem before catching his lips in yet another searing kiss. 

He pulls apart from you for a second, sliding his hands down to your ass. 

“Wasn’t payin’ attention to any ‘a those other women, baby. My eyes are for you and you only.” 

The subtle possessiveness you two harbored for each other sent a thrill down your spine. 

“Ditto,” you say, starting to rock your hips. Joel moans your name as his head knocks back against the wall, eyes closing in pure bliss. You lean forward and kiss his neck, keeping a steady pace. 

“Fuck, baby. You really know how to drive a man crazy,” Joel’s breathless again, and you can’t help but giggle softly. 

“Hopefully the good kind,” you nibble on his neck before separating from him, throwing your arms around his shoulders. 

“Definitely the good kind,” he says, leaning in to kiss you again. This time it’s a bit more gentle, and once again, Joel reigns supreme at showing his heart on his sleeve just by how he kisses you. 

I love you, Joel rolls around in your mind several times—so much so that you thought you’d slip and say it aloud. 

Your thoughts are wrangled back to reality when you feel him separate his lips from yours, but staying close enough to kiss you again if he wants to. You begin to pick up your pace now and the feeling of him filling you is heavenly. Your eyes roll back and your jaw is slack, and he takes the opportunity to move you up and down on him. 

You cry out his name again, head lolling back as he sets a brutal pace and fucks up into you. 

“So fuckin’ pretty on my cock like this, baby. So fuckin’ tight,” Joel wraps his hand around the back of your neck, looking into your eyes as he continues to rock his hips. You’re moving to his rhythm, matching his pace—and the look he’s giving you makes you pulse around his cock. 

“You’re so handsome,” you say, reaching a hand out to cup his cheek. And before he can deny your compliment, you kiss him like your life depends on it. It’s not long before you feel the familiar warmth coil in your belly once more. 

“‘M getting close, Joel,” you cry against his lips, and he gives your ass a small love tap. 

“Me too, sweetheart.” 

Both of you were moaning rather lewdly, and at this moment, all that was on your mind was Joel. Not your sister and Josh or your family that’s probably already halfway done getting ready for breakfast—no, just Joel. 

Joel Joel Joel. 

The man was intoxicating and you were chasing the high every chance you got. 

“Fuck, where do you want me? I-I’m about to–”

“In me. Joel, please, in me,” you beg, and he suddenly plunges his hand down between your bodies to rub at your already sensitive clit furiously. 

Within seconds, your second earth-shattering orgasm of the day had you in shambles once again, screaming out his name as he pistoned in and out of you to chase his own high. 

His hips stilled moments later as he came, burying his face into your neck as he groaned with every pulse of his cock. 

Your bodies stayed stagnant for a while, wrapped up in each other as the warm water cascaded overhead. You were both pruny and absolutely fucked out, void of energy, but being so close to him like this made your heart flutter in the best way possible. 

Joel repeatedly kissed the junction between your neck and shoulder, rubbing your back soothingly as you two caught your breaths. He pulled back, looking into your eyes once again with a satiated grin adorning his lips. 

“How you feelin’ angel?” He asks, wiping the water droplets from your cheek. 

“Incredible, cowboy,” you giggle, pecking his lips before shifting your hips to get off of him. Your legs were still shaky, but you managed to stand slowly. Joel watches as his spend drips from you, sliding down your inner thighs. He grabs your hand, prompting you to step closer to him. He reaches his hand between your thighs, gathering his spend on his fingers before standing up to his full height, a glint of mischief in his pretty brown eyes. 

He brings his coated fingers to your mouth and you happily oblige, sucking his fingers clean with a soft moan. 

Your eyes snap open as he removes his fingers from your mouth, and you raise your eyebrow. “No more messing around, Mr. Miller. We have a newlyweds breakfast to get ready for.”

”If I had it my way, I’d keep you in this room all day and show you every single way your beautiful body can be worshiped,” he doesn’t miss a beat in his words, confidence exuding him brilliantly. 

You clench your legs together and fight the urge to hop out of the shower to give your sister a courtesy call and tell her you and Joel won’t be making it to breakfast, but the little bit of self control you harbored won the morality battle. 

“As much as I’d absolutely love to do that, we really do have to go. My family would never let me live it down and I want to see Emily off before her and Josh leave for their honeymoon.” 

“I know, baby. ‘M hopin’ we get more opportunities for this when we get back home,” he says, running a hand over his mustache and down his stubble. 

“You can have me anytime you want, cowboy.” 

-

You were surprisingly only twenty minutes late to breakfast. You and Joel made it down to the lobby, freshly showered and dressed nicely. He wore a black button down with the top two buttons undone, gray slacks, and black boots. You opted for something a bit more colorful, wearing a baby blue satin dress with white kitten heels. 

You held onto Joel’s bicep for support, and despite the heels only being a half inch, your legs were still a bit wobbly—and not because you couldn’t walk in heels. 

Joel nearly doubled down in laughter when he saw you trying to walk once you put the heels on, which earned him a glare and pouty lips. He kissed you anyway and told you how beautiful you look, pulling you in to his broad, warm body before promising to make his teasing up to you. 

Your teasing is what got me here in the first place, you’d chastised him. 

You found your mom and dad sitting outside at a long table with floral arrangements in the middle. Your dad’s plate was stacked with an assortment of breakfast foods, while your mom opted for an omelet and a croissant with coffee. 

“Good morning you two,” your mom chirped, her smile beaming at you and Joel. 

“Morning mama. Where’s everyone else…?” You ask, eyes drifting to the empty seats beside them.  

“Andy and Cole are coming down in a few minutes. Emi and Josh are getting their breakfast right now,” she says, taking a sip of her caramel colored coffee. 

You nod and set your cardigan down in the chair next to Emily’s. 

“I’m gonna go get some food. I’m starving,” you say, and you catch Joel’s lip switch up into a subtle smirk out of the corner of your eye. 

Your mom nods while your dad indulges in his breakfast, completely ignoring what you just said. A small laugh emits you as you turn to Joel, nodding toward the hotel. 

“Hungry?” You ask him. 

His smirk widens, staring at you with a glint of mischief in his eyes. 

“Starving.”

Your face heats at his words, but luckily he said it low enough to where your parents didn’t hear him. 

“You’re insatiable, Mr. Miller,” you walk with him toward the breakfast buffet area, grabbing two plates and handing him one. 

“Can you blame me, baby? I got a beautiful lady on my arm, and she gets to come home with me,” he wiggles his brows, and you can’t help but laugh at how absolutely cheesy he can be. 

One minute he’s got his face buried in your pussy telling you you’re the best thing he’s ever tasted, and the next he’s cracking jokes like you two weren’t doing anything sinful just an hour prior. 

The duality of this man is truly unmatched. 

You look around the room and see your sister plating a waffle, so you give Joel a kiss on the cheek before walking over to her. 

“Well hello, Mrs. Martinez,” you say, and your sister whips her head around. 

“God, it feels so weird hearing that. I love it so much,” she says, and you can’t help but smile at how happy she seems. 

“Well, get used to it. You’re a married woman now, missy.” 

“You probably won’t be far behind,” Emily teases, and your brows furrow. 

“Emi, Joel and I have only been together for a couple of months,” you sound flustered, and your sister gives you a knowing look. 

“So? When you know, you know, and what you and Joel have is special. I haven’t seen you this happy with anyone… ever, actually. Do you love him?” 

Her question takes you aback. You know you do, but admitting it out loud makes it all one hundred percent real. You can’t continue being afraid of your emotions, even if it may seem like it’s too fast. Self-sabotage isn’t going to fly anymore. You can’t help how you feel. 

“I do,” you finally say, and Emily breaks out into a face-splitting grin. 

“Have you told him?” 

You’re about to answer her, but Josh walks up to you both. 

“Good morning, sis in law,” he grins, nudging your side. 

“Well good morning to you too,” you laugh, giving him a side hug. 

“We’ll talk more about this later,” Emily whispers, giving your forearm a squeeze, and you give her a nod. As her and Josh walk back outside, you turn to the spread of food and concentrate on getting your breakfast. You plate a waffle, potatoes, bacon and scrambled eggs before meeting Joel at the coffee station. He hands you a cup with coffee in it, just how you like it. 

You sip it to taste test it, the warm liquid immediately rejuvenating your energy. “Mmm, my hero,” you tell Joel. “I was feeling really tired.” 

“I wonder why,” he grins, following you outside to re-join your family. 

“It’s ‘cus my man doesn’t know how to keep his needy hands to himself,” you shrug nonchalantly, and Joel rolls his eyes with a hearty laugh. 

“Hey, as far as I’m concerned, you enjoyed these needy hands.” 

You have to stifle a laugh as you approach the table again, taking your respective seats. You settled in between Emily and Joel, diving into your breakfast. 

Andy and Cole show up a minute later, looking super sluggish and hungover. You and Emily share a nudge under the table, quietly laughing to yourselves.

”Look what the cat dragged in,” you tease your brothers as they both plop down on the opposite side of the table. 

“Stop yelling so loud, Shadow,” Cole groans, and you can’t help but laugh. Idiots. 

“For the love of god, get yourself some bread and coffee. It’ll wake you fools right up,” your dad grumbles, and Andy waves his hand. 

“Fuck, fine. We will. C’mon Cole,” Andy stands up again, dragging your brother along with him. 

Your mom and dad engage in conversation with Emily and Josh, your mom nudging Emily while wiggling her brows. 

“I expect grandbabies after this honeymoon trip,” she wags her fork between Emily and Josh. 

“Jesus, mom, give them a break. They haven’t even been married for twenty-four hours yet.”

Emily gives you a silent thank you look before your mom narrows her eyes at you, pointing her fork at you now. 

“Hey, you probably won’t be too far behind your sister. Joel’s family now, baby. No goin’ back,” she smiles triumphantly, earning another round of groans from the table. 

“Fucking hell,” you mumble, “Would you stop trying to scare him off, mom?” You sigh in exasperation, rubbing your temple. 

“Can’t scare me off that easily, darlin’,” Joel says, giving your mom a wink. “I appreciate you thinkin’ so highly of me, Alexandria.” 

Your mom shoots Joel a grand smile before Andy and Cole return to the table. 

“How hard did you guys party last night?” Emily asks them. 

“Too fuckin’ hard. Feels like I’m about to have this damn hangover for a week,” Andy says, groaning before taking a bite of toast. 

“Well luckily checkout isn’t until three, so you can sleep before you hit the road,” your mom says, and they both sluggishly nod before silently eating their toast. 

“So Joel,” your dad starts, and your attention snaps to him. “Got any siblings?” 

“I do, actually. A younger brother. He works at the same firehouse as I do,” Joel says coolly, and you wonder briefly how he’s still so calm. You know if you ever got the chance to meet Joel’s parents, you’d be an absolute nervous wreck. 

Joel kept the conversation going with your dad about Tommy, and the rest of your family chimed in from time-to-time. It was then when everyone was deep in conversation that Emily gave you another nudge. You turn your head to her, raising an eyebrow. 

“You left pretty early last night,” Emily’s soft tone had a hint of mischief in it, and your eyes widened as you looked at her. 

“Shit, I didn’t miss anything, did I?” You were running through the events in your head: couple’s first dance, dancing with the bride and groom, bouquet toss, cake cutting, family photos…

She giggles softly and shakes her head. “No, but with the way you looked last night, I wouldn’t be surprised if your cowboy couldn’t keep his hands off of you.” 

Your face heats at her words. Fuck, she really knows you better than anyone on this planet. Your silence told her everything she needed to know. You swallow thickly, eyes roaming around the table. 

Joel’s hand lands on your thigh, softly brushing his thumb back and forth. His subtle touch sends a shiver down your spine, and Emily notices. 

You lace your hand with Joel’s and he gives yours a soft squeeze, all while continuing his engaging conversation with your family. 

“Yeah, uh, we um—”

”You don’t even need to say it. I knew you looked a bit different this morning. You’re glowing, my beloved sister,” she says with a smirk, and you can’t help but bashfully smile. 

“It was amazing. He’s amazing, Emi,” your voice is a mere whisper, not wanting to be overheard by anybody. 

“I can tell he is. I’m so happy for you. After Christian,” she shakes her head, rolling her eyes at the mention of your ex, “I genuinely thought you wouldn’t be receptive to opening up and finding love again. I’m so glad you did. I love seeing you happy.” 

Tears spring in your eyes at her words. You didn’t think you’d be receptive to love again either, but here you are with Joel—and fuck do you love him.

”Thank you for giving me that push, Em. I really needed it,” you say, wiping a stray tear that slipped from your eye. 

“That’s what big sisters are for,” she leans in and kisses your head, and you can’t help but thank the stars above that your sister keeps you in check when it’s really needed. 

A few hours after breakfast, everybody met down in the lobby with their stuff to check out and say goodbye. Emily and Josh were going to Costa Rica for their honeymoon, and your mom and dad had volunteered to take all of their wedding gifts and drop it off at their apartment while they were gone. Joel, Andy, Cole and Josh all helped your dad load the gifts into the bed of his truck while you, your mom, and Emily stood in the lobby. 

“Oh, I just cannot believe my buggy is married,” your mom says, bringing Emily into a near bone-crushing hug. She laughs and hugs your mom back tightly, and your mom yanks your arm toward them so you can join in. You hug them both, kissing both of their heads before letting go. 

“I’m seriously so happy for you, Emi. I know Josh is your fairytale ending you’ve always wished for,” you say, and she brings you into another hug. 

“And Joel is yours, my sweet sister,” she’s got a matter-of-fact tone to her voice, and your mom nods in agreement. 

“You two look so good together. There’s just something special about him. Call it mother’s intuition,” your mom winks at you, and you groan. 

“Can we please focus on Emi? She’s the one who just got married.” 

“Oh, fine. But don’t think this conversation isn’t going to get brought up again,” your mom says, bumping you with her hip. 

You hold your hands up in defense, knowing this isn’t something she’ll let go of too easily. 

The men all return to the lobby, and you can’t help but admire the sweaty brow and neck Joel sported, now wearing an olive green shirt that stretched across his broad chest and hugged his biceps tightly, paired with some black jeans. 

You found yourself nearly salivating, feeling like a bitch in heat. Fucking hell. You really don’t think you’ll ever be able to get enough of him. 

He notices you staring, giving you a subtle smirk before walking up to you to give your head a kiss. 

“Like what ya see?” He whispers into your ear, and you nearly groan in front of everybody. That little bit of self control you have is fizzling away every second you’re within proximity of him. 

“You know I do.” 

He grins at your verbal confession, giving your arm a soft squeeze as he pulls you into his side. 

“Well,” your mom claps her hands together, “This is it. Congratulations again, you two, and I can’t wait to hear all about Costa Rica when you come back home,” she gives both Emily and Josh a hug, kissing them both on the cheek. 

“We better get photos in the family chat,” Andy says. 

“Swim with a turtle for me,” Cole chimes in, which pulls a laugh from everyone. 

“We will. Thank you guys again for everything,” Josh says, looking at Emily with a gleam of pure love in his eyes. “My wife and I have lots of exploring to look forward to.” 

“Indeed we do,” she clings onto his arm, giving him a chaste kiss. 

Everybody gives them their round of hugs, and Emily pulls you in extra tight. “I’ll call you, okay?” She says, and you give her a small smile and nod. 

“I love you, Emi. Be safe out there and have endless cocktails for me,” you bring her in for one last hug, kissing her on the temple. 

Everybody waves Emily and Josh off as they get their suitcases loaded and themselves situated in their Uber off to the airport. 

“We’ll have to plan something for their homecoming,” your mom says after they leave.

”Does everyone live in Austin?” Joel asks the group, and everyone nods. 

“For the most part. Sometimes my job has me going down to Corpus Christi for a few weeks on end,” Andy says. 

“Well if everyone’s schedules align, I wouldn’t mind throwin’ a barbecue at my house for them when they get back,” Joel says with a grin. 

“Oh Joel, you’d be willing to do that?” Your mom clasps her hands together, and you don’t think you’ve ever seen such a hopeful look in her eye. 

“‘Course. I love throwin’ barbecues, n’ what’s more to celebrate them comin’ back from their trip?” 

Your mom just can’t help herself and throws her arms around him, pulling him into a hug. He grunts in surprise and chuckles, wrapping his arms around her briefly before she pulls away. 

“Christ honey, let the man breathe,” your dad huffs, pulling her away from him. Your mom swats your dad’s arm playfully, glaring up at him. The height difference between them is always comical when your mom tries to get mad at your dad, because she’s so tiny compared to him. 

She turns back to you both, expression switching to a smile. ”It’s settled then. We can text about the details later,” your mom looks at you, and you nod. 

“Sure thing, mama,” you say, giving her and your dad a hug. You move on to your brothers, both of them giving you tight hugs and a slug to the arm. 

“Assholes,” you laugh, “Don’t be strangers alright? Text me once in a while, idiots,” you roll your eyes, and Cole huffs. 

“Mom, Shadow is calling us idiots,” he tattles like a damn three year old, and your dad laughs. 

“Well she ain’t wrong,” your dad says, and you can’t help but laugh along with him. 

“Michael Alejandro, don’t talk about our kids like that… in front of them,” your mom says, and everyone laughs. 

“Damn dad, mom’s calling you by your government name. Looks like you’re gonna get it when you two get home,” Cole snickers, and your mom smirks at him. 

“Oh he sure is,” there was an underlying sound of need in her tone. 

“Ugh, gross mom,” Andy says, scrunching his face in disgust. 

“How the hell d’ya think you four got here?” Your dad asks, and all three of you groan. 

“Aaand that’s our cue to go. Love you everybody, drive safe, and text when y’all get home,” you say, waving to your family. Joel laughs and says goodbye to everyone, giving your mom a hug and your dad a handshake. 

Your brothers opt for a “bro hug” before he’s by your side again, lacing his fingers with yours as you blow your family one last kiss, walking out of the lobby and back to Joel’s truck, suitcases in tow. 

“What a fun weekend,” you say, and Joel’s eyes flicker back up to the hotel. Your family members weren’t in sight, so before he opens your door for you, he presses you up against his truck and cages you in between his arms. He’s got a devious smirk on his face before he dips in to kiss you. 

“Sure was, baby. Gotta say it’s probably one of the most incredible weekends I’ve had…ever, actually.” 

You raise your eyebrow, hands trailing up to Joel’s strong chest. You feel his heartbeat beneath your fingertips, and you can’t help the lazy smile that crosses your lips as you think about the night and morning you both spent together. 

“Agreed. Probably gonna have flashbacks about it for weeks,” you bite your lip, batting your lashes in a way that makes Joel’s cock jump in his jeans. 

Seems like he can’t get enough of you, either. 

“Weeks, huh? Why have flashbacks when we can recreate the moment over,” he pauses, kissing you briefly. He separates from your lips, one hand trailing down your arm and to your hand that was on his chest, lacing your fingers together once more. “And over,” he whispers against your lips, and a whine bubbles in your throat. 

“No fair,” you pout, and he laughs as he pulls away from you. 

“Insatiable, are we?” He chastises you playfully, and you roll your eyes at him with a smirk. 

“For you, Mr. Miller? Always.” 

-

The drive back to Austin was fairly quick. There wasn’t any traffic to your guys’ luck, and you made it home within an hour. 

Joel dropped you off first and walked you up to your door, carrying your luggage for you like the gentleman he is. 

“You sure I can’t convince you to let me stay?” He rolls your suitcase into your bedroom, turning to look at you as you lean up against the doorframe. 

“As much as I’d love that,” you sigh, pushing yourself off the frame, “I have some cleaning I have to do and we both have work tomorrow. I’m sure Sarah misses you terribly, too.” 

Joel chuckles at the last part, “‘M sure she’s thrilled I was gone for a whole weekend,” he huffs, and you wrap your arms around him. 

“I wouldn’t be so sure of that. That girl loves you with her whole heart and I’m sure she misses her dad,” you lean in to kiss him briefly, hands sliding up and down his back in a comforting way. 

Joel leans into your touch and sighs, softly knocking his forehead against yours. 

“You’re right. I miss her just as much. God knows she was really takin’ care of herself this weekend instead of Tommy lookin’ after her,” he chuckles, shaking his head. 

“I dunno. Seems like Maria’s got Tommy whipped into good shape.” 

Joel huffs a laugh, “‘S a damn miracle he found that woman. I swear.” 

You stand there in each other’s arms for the next few minutes, silence wrapping itself around you two. Being in his presence will always comfort you, and another part of you didn’t want to admit to yourself that you’d miss him once he left to go back to his place.

You were so used to being by yourself, even when you were with Christian. You’ve always done things on your own—that’s how it’s always been. You’re still adjusting to the idea of someone being there for you, doing things for you, liking you enough to not want to leave right away. It’s an oddity in your life that you’re having trouble wrapping your mind around, and you think that’s another reason you wanted to push away from this at first. 

The mere idea of loving someone and opening up your heart fully again did terrify you, yes, but it’s set in stone now. There’s no turning back. 

Joel Miller has your heart completely in the palm of his hand—you just need to tell him so. 

Your heart pounds against your ribcage as you pull back from him, mouth going dry as your anxiety takes over your body. 

Fuck. Here goes, well, everything, actually. 

“Joel,” you whisper, staring into those sweet brown eyes you’ve come to know and love. You can do this. Just say it. ”I—”

The shrill of his phone ringtone rang through the dense silence in the room, and a part of you wanted to sigh in relief. 

“Sorry darlin’,” his voice is soft, easily forgivable as he fishes his phone out of his pocket. His eyes skim over the caller ID, answering it before pressing the phone to his ear. 

“Hey babydoll,” he says, and you immediately knew it was Sarah. “‘M just droppin’ her off. Should be home in a half hour.”

You step back from him to give him a little more privacy for his conversation, but he grabs your waist and brings your body flush to his. 

God, you really hope he can’t feel how fast your heart’s beating. 

“Mhm, sounds good. I’ll pick that up for dinner. Love you too, bye,” he hangs up the phone, shoving it back in his pocket before his hands land gently on your hips. He gives them a soft squeeze before leaning in to kiss your forehead. 

“What was it that you wanted to tell me?” He asks, looking at you with genuine curiosity. 

You swallow thickly, throat still dry. “Just that I had a great time with you this weekend. Wish it didn’t have to end,” Nice save, you think—but you smack yourself on the hand for backing out of telling him. 

“I did too, baby. We’ll have to plan a weekend to get away, just you n’ me. How’s that sound?” He rubs his hands up and down your arms in a comforting way, making you sigh in content. 

“I’d love that,” you grin, and he nods. 

“I better get goin’ before the little rascal starts reprimandin’ me for bein’ late.”

”We wouldn’t want that now, would we?” You tease, voice laced with a hint of a laugh. 

Joel shakes his head no, flashing you his million dollar smile. 

“C’mon cowboy,” you walk him to the front door of your apartment, and he turns to you before you can open the door for him. 

“I’ll text ya when I get home, baby. Thank you for invitin’ me to spend time with you and your family this weekend,” he says, cupping your cheeks to bring you into a sweet goodbye kiss. 

“Thank you for braving it out and coming with me. Sorry if they were a bit much.”

Joel waves his hand in a playful dismissal. “Nah, they’re amazing. Even if I got interrogated by your brothers, I think this is the start of a beautiful bromance,” he wiggles his eyebrows, and you can’t help but laugh loudly. 

“You did not just say bromance. Get outta here,” you nudge him and he grins, pecking your lips a couple of more times before he opens your door. 

“I’ll see you real soon, baby. Can’t get rid of me that easy.”

”I’m counting on it, cowboy.”

-

You didn’t get to see Joel that whole week. It was now Friday, and you were missing him like crazy. You tried to ignore the weird feeling of not sleeping next to him at night, albeit only doing it a handful of times. You just felt like you got a better night’s sleep in his arms, all secure and warm.

His shifts at the firehouse have been long and chaotic, and between that and taking Sarah to soccer practice and school, Joel had his hands full. 

You understood completely. Life happens, and you knew this would happen eventually. It’s not like not seeing him was on purpose. Even Maria said she hadn’t really seen Tommy a whole lot either, so to fix the loneliness pulling at both of your hearts, you invited her out to dinner. 

You caught her up on the amazing weekend you and Joel had as soon as you both sat down. She was dying to hear the details, so you told her practically everything—except for what you did in the bedroom with Joel—all the way down to when he left your apartment. 

“Oh my god, well first of all, I’m so happy for you. Sounds like it was a perfect weekend,” she says, taking a sip of her white wine. 

You smile as you recall his hands all over you, the way he held you, his sweet words—all of it. “Thank you. It really was.” 

“Sooo have you told him how you feel about him yet?” She asks, brow quirked with a subtle grin on her lips. 

“I almost did, but then he got a phone call from Sarah and I bitched out, Maria,” you bury your face in your hands, sighing. 

“Hey, don’t be so hard on yourself. Your past relationship wasn’t all sunshine and daisies. This is a huge step for you, and you even allowing yourself to feel like this toward him is admirable in itself.” 

Her words did an excellent job at comforting you. Maybe you were just too in your head about this. But the other part of you—the logical, sensible part, constantly loomed over you like a damn gray cloud. 

“I just—fuck, what if this is too fast? Isn’t it too soon?” You ask, slumping back into your seat. “I mean, there’s still so much to learn about each other.”

“You can be in love with someone and still have a lot to learn along the way,” Maria says, “And besides. You can’t help the way you feel. I know someone who said ‘I love you’ to their partner a month into their relationship, and they’ve now been married for like fifteen years.” 

Maria grabs your hand from across the table, giving it a gentle squeeze. 

“Look, it’s normal to be scared. Every relationship is different, hon. They all go at their own pace. But, I can guarantee he feels the same way. What you two have is special,” she gives your hand one last squeeze before releasing it, leaning back in the booth before polishing off her drink. 

You know she’s right. Damn this woman and her wisdom beyond her years. It’s one of the many things you love about her. Her and your sister really keep you grounded, that’s for sure.

 You take everything she just told you into consideration, deciding that you were going to take charge of your feelings and do yourself (and Joel) the favor of telling him how you really feel. 

“Today’s their last shift I think for three days, so I’ll see if I can get him alone tomorrow,” you say, and she claps her hands together. 

“I can hear the wedding bells already,” she quips, and you can’t help but roll your eyes and laugh. 

After dinner, you two walk out of the restaurant with your arms linked, fat droplets of rain suddenly plopping on your head. 

“I didn’t know it was gonna rain tonight,” you say as you both retract yourselves back under the awning of the front of the restaurant. 

“Me either,” Maria says, wiping the droplets off of her face. 

The ringer of your phone is at battle with the sound of pouring rain, but you fish it out of your pocket and furrow your brows when you see Tommy’s name across your screen. You show the screen to Maria, and she whips out her phone to see if she’s got any missed calls from him. 

You answer the phone and put him on speaker. “You jealous that I’m out on a date with your woman?” You tease, both you and Maria laughing. 

Tommy says your name frantically over the phone, and your heart immediately drops. 

Something’s wrong.

”Tommy? What is it? Is everything okay?” The urgency in your voice now matches his own. 

“No, fuck—it’s bad. It’s bad. You need to get to St. David’s, now.” Tommy says, and your heartbeat accelerates rapidly. Your hands start to shake and your anxiety fuels every single cell in your body. 

“Tommy, what-,” you nearly choke on your own breath, “What happened? What’s wrong?” You try again, voice shaky and uncertain, hoping he’d give you an explanation. Your gaze shifts to Maria in panic, and she brings you into her side to hold you, but nothing could’ve prepared you for what you heard him say next. 

“I-It’s Joel. He’s—dammit, he’s hurt.” 

taglist: @raspberrybesitos ; @nostalxgic ; @endlessthxxghts ; @punkshort ; @clawdee

@pascalpvnk ; @bensonispunk ; @merz-8 ; @darkblue-tennesseee ; @typewriter83

@lizzie-cakes ; @sawymredfox ; @keylimebeag ; @nandan11 ; @pedropascalsbbg

@pimosworld ; @yxtkiwiyxt ; @anoverwhelmingdin ; @kikaaauu ; @buckyispunk

@untamedheart81 ; @picketniffler ; @fluffygoffpanda ; @paleidiot ; @survivingandenduring

@party-hearses ; @pedrospatch ; @harriedandharassed

if you’d like to be added / removed from the taglist for this series, please let me know.

divider by @saradika-graphics

[nostalxgic]

what a TIMEEEEE to be ALIVEEEE back on joel's side of the internet 😫😫😫😫

[nostalxgic]

ohh nothinggg just 2 more concerts in the books for 2024 <3

[natxsuku]

made this last month

mk bye☄️

[pagliahater]

Is it weird that I manspread even though I'm a woman?

No... pussy facing the world!!

[nostalxgic]

donald glover sang to me and that's all that matters in life rn.

PROOF OF HIM SINGING TO MEEEEEEE UNDER THE CUT

I KNOW YALL SAW THAT FUCKING EYE CONTACT BRO!!!!

13 year old bri screamed and cried that night and idecccc. i blubbered like a fucking baby.

[pro-royalty]

Doechii x PAPER Magazine

[bratzdollsasha]

Reblog if you’re black tumblr

and yes you have to be black, this isn’t an all access typa club

[hyunip]

What she said 😩🙌🏾

[cardierreh15]

🧍🏾‍♀️🫶🏾

[nerdieforpedro]

🙌🏽

[nostalxgic]

post your picrew & the most recent song you listened to 💫

thank u for tagging me lovebug!! @chaotic-iguana i love u to infinity and beyond and beyond (and beyond)

just me, ayesha erotica & toby against the world <3

no tags bc im sure everyone has done this already :p

[millersflowermarket]

to: @nostalxgic love: @ilovepedro x

[nostalxgic]

oh my freaking god????? 😭😭😭😭😭 twinny i'm 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺 i love you so so so so much! more than words could ever hope to describe 😫

pls i'm gonna go cry now i severely needed this

[nostalxgic]

hey would it be cool if i posted concert pics on here or no? not very cash money of me?

[thedivinereverie]

A Burning Desire part four

firefighter!joel miller x f!reader

series masterlist | main masterlist

rating: 18+, minors dni

warnings: joel miller au, reader's family members finally get names in this, a whole lotta tooth-rotting fluff, sexual innuendos, sexual tension, your (fictional) brothers are a pain in the ass, reader has a nickname given by the brothers, smut (unprotected piv, f!oral receiving, fingering, body praise, quick handjob), no use of y/n.

word count: 9.2k (i'm so sorry)

a/n: sorry it took forever. life has been so hectic after graduating. thank you for sticking around <3

synopsis: you and joel take a road trip to san antonio for your sister’s wedding, and with feelings at an all-time high, you find it nearly impossible to resist each other.

“So what time are you and Joel leaving tomorrow?” Your sister asks on the other end of the line. 

Tomorrow was the rehearsal dinner for her wedding, and you had to drive out to San Antonio. Joel promised you countless times that he was more than happy to accompany you to the wedding, even though you warned him countless times about your family. 

“Probably around ten. He’s spending the night tonight so we can just get ready and leave in the morning.” You’re folding the last of your clothes to pack, phone tucked between your shoulder and ear as you mentally double check that you have everything you need in your suitcase. 

“Okay, good. Mom’s kind of upset that she hasn’t met this ‘mystery man’ as she calls it. She’s been dying to know all the details.” 

You roll your eyes and sigh, already knowing this weekend was going to be absolutely exhausting dealing with everyone. 

“She’ll literally meet him tomorrow. I kept our relationship at bay because of how she gets. Not to mention Andrew and Cole, and god knows what they’ll say to Joel tomorrow.” 

Your sister laughs, “That’s true. Can’t imagine they won’t harass him about treating you right. I’ll make sure to keep them in check.” 

“Em, you know they will. They hovered when Christian and I broke up.” 

“I know. But Joel’s a good man. The whole family will love him.” 

“I really hope you’re right.” 

“Always am. Call it big sister’s intuition.” 

“Funny.” You scoff with a smile, closing your suitcase. 

“I know. Hey, Josh and I have to talk to the wedding planner about a few last minute details. I’ll see you tomorrow, okay?” She says. 

“See you tomorrow, Em. Love you.” 

“Love you too!” 

The line goes dead and you sigh, tossing your phone onto your bed. You were trying to mentally prepare yourself for the hellfire you were going to receive after keeping Joel a secret for awhile. You looked at your bedside table and the alarm clock on top of it, red numbers blinking at you to remind you you still had a few more hours until Joel would be coming over. 

Nerves settled in about him meeting your family, but nobody could resist Joel and his Southern charm. You couldn’t help but fantasize that your whole family loved him, welcoming him in with open arms. God, you hope that was the case. 

-

You killed time by cooking some dinner and watching some more of The Bachelor, feeding into the drama of the show. You were so invested that you almost didn’t hear the knock on your door. 

The feeling of giddiness took over your body as you opened the door, revealing your boyfriend. He had a small smile on his face, but his eyes were tired. 

“Hey baby,” You say, stepping to the side for him, “C’mon in. I made us some dinner. Figured you could eat after your shift.” 

Joel groans in appreciation. “Thank you darlin’.” He sets his bag down and closes your door, locking it before wrapping his arms around you. He buried his face into your neck, breathing in your scent for a minute. 

You could sense something was wrong, but you didn’t want to push him about it. Maybe a little shove wouldn’t hurt, though.

You run your fingers through his soft curls before turning your head to the side to kiss his neck, separating yourself from him for a brief moment. 

“You okay?” Worry was evident in your voice, and he couldn’t help but melt at the concern written all over your face as you took his in between your hands. 

He nodded, but you weren’t convinced. You could see it in his eyes, sensing that he was holding something back. 

“You can talk to me, you know. If you’d like. I don’t want to push you if you’re not ready, though.” You take his hand and lead him to the couch, coaxing him to sit down. You climbed behind him, sitting down to slot your thighs on either side of his. 

You start to rub his back, slowly putting pressure on any knots that you’d found. You kiss him between his shoulder blades, silence consuming the both of you for a good few minutes before you hear his faint whisper. 

“Rough shift. Had a call that didn’t go so well. Kinda shook up the whole firehouse.” 

“Oh, baby, I’m so sorry.” You wrap your arms around his torso, resting your cheek on his back. His hands cover yours and swipe his thumbs over you. 

You hear him sniffle and your head shoots up, attempting to turn his head toward you. He resists at first, but eventually melts into your soft touch and turns his face toward yours as you slightly lean over his broad frame. 

“It’s okay, Joel. You never have to hide how you’re feeling from me. If you need to cry about it, that’s fine. I’ll never think you’re less of a man for showing your emotions.” 

He offers you a small smile before leaning in to kiss your forehead, softly knocking his against yours as he sighs. 

“I’ve been so used to suppressin’ rough calls for years. Nobody to turn to except my coworkers n’ Tommy, and even then it’s not somethin’ we all collectively talk about. My ex,” He huffs an angry laugh at the mention of her, “Sarah’s mom. She– she always told me that cryin’ about how tough my job can be sometimes isn’t somethin’ a real man does. No man should cry over a job. So I just pretended. I pretended that the job didn’t affect me anymore, that I was fine every time I came home. I pretended to be okay when in reality I jus’ wanted to fuckin’ scream and cry.” He turns his head to the side again as more tears silently cascade down his beautiful face. 

“Hey, look at me,” Your voice is soft, as if you’re trying not to scare an already frightened animal. “I can promise you that you never have to pretend with me.” You wipe his tears with your thumb, kissing his cheek softly as you continue to gently rub his back. 

“Y’don’t know how much that means to me, darlin’. It’s not easy carryin’ the weight of this job on my shoulders alone. I don’t want to burden you with any of it–”

“Hey, none of that alright? You’re not burdening me. I can’t even imagine the terrible things you’ve seen and endured while on the job. I swear to you that I’m here to listen. Or just be a shoulder to lay on. We don’t even need to talk if you don’t want to, but just know that option is always there.” 

He turns his head to kiss your temple, squeezing his eyes shut before leaning his head back onto your shoulder. 

The “L” word rolled around in your mind for a split second. A month and a half ago, it would’ve scared you. But now, being here with Joel, it just seemed so normal and comfortable. He may have felt the same too, you think. Maybe it was too early to tell. 

-

You wish it was a morning where you and Joel could laze around and relax. Waking up beside him gave you a sense of comfort you hadn’t experienced in so long. You secretly study his face as he sleeps: tan skin glowing from the morning sunlight, eyelashes fanned over his cheeks, messy curls resting haphazardly over his forehead, and plump lips parted as he emits soft snores. 

He’s so handsome. 

You couldn’t help but bring your hand out to trace his face with your fingertips, leaning forward to gently kiss his cheek. 

His eyebrows scrunch together as he slowly begins to wake from his slumber, hands shooting up to rub over his face. His eyes find yours when he drops his hands from his face, a grin curling onto his lips. 

“Mornin’ baby.” His voice was deep and raspy, still full of sleep. It made something stir deep down inside of you. 

“Morning, handsome.” You kiss the tip of his nose before sitting up to get out of bed, but Joel pulls you back by your wrist and maneuvers you so you’re laying on top of him. 

You laugh as he wraps his arms around you securely, making sure you can’t move an inch or wiggle away. 

“We gotta get up and get going, Joel.” 

He groans loudly, the sound vibrating his whole body and yours. “Five more minutes.” His muffled voice says from underneath you. 

“Uh uh, cowboy. C’mon, I’ll make you a thermos of coffee.” You tap his stomach twice before he releases you to stand on your feet. You make your way into the kitchen, fighting the urge to look back at Joel, because you knew you’d give him more than five minutes if you did. 

You start up the coffee pot and lean against the counter, rubbing the sleep from your eyes. Joel emerges in the kitchen shortly after, leaning against the wall as he admires you in your sleepy state. 

“What?” You ask, cocking an eyebrow up at him. 

“Nothin’ baby.” He smiles before coming into the kitchen, lifting you up on the counter and slotting himself between your legs. 

“Mmmhm.” You say, putting your hands on his warm chest. You feel his heartbeat beneath your fingertips and notice it’s slightly elevated, which you can’t help but smile at. 

Joel leans in to you and kisses your neck, and you can’t help but loll your head to the side to give him better access. His lips graze over your pulse point and you instinctively grip onto his biceps, trying your hardest to suppress a moan. 

“Joel—” 

“Hm? What is it, pretty girl?” 

“If you keep doing that, we’re never—fuck— never gonna leave in time.” He pokes his tongue out and drags it down your jugular, kissing the base of your neck before lightly nibbling on your soft flesh. 

“Doin’ what, baby?” He teases, smirking against you. 

“You know what, cowboy,” And before he could retort, the coffee maker beeps to indicate Joel’s coffee was done. “Saved by the bell.” You mumble, gently separating yourself from Joel. His honey brown gaze bores into yours as he chuckles at your flustered state before sliding his phone out of his pocket. 

He types in the address to the hotel the wedding party was staying at. Joel meticulously calculates the stops you may need to make along the way before looking at you again. 

 “Should take us about an hour and a half to get there. Two hours if there’s heavy traffic.” 

“It’s not too late to back out, you know.” 

“‘N why would I do that, darlin’?” 

“To save yourself from the chaos that the weekend will bring. I can tell my family you had to work instead. Nobody can get mad at a firefighter for working.” 

Joel tosses his head back as he gutturally laughs, shoulders shaking. The whole thing was a little ridiculous, but you know how your family is, and you were ultimately just looking out for him. 

His gaze meets yours, a glint of adoration in his eyes as he leans forward. You can’t help the stupid grin that curls onto your lips as he gently nudges your body closer to his, finally slotting his lips with yours. 

You’ll never get tired of those butterflies that rumble rambunctiously in your tummy every time you kiss him. 

He leans back a little, and with his irresistible charm, winks at you before he huffs another small laugh. “Wouldn’t dream of it, baby.” 

You hop off the counter and pat his abdomen adoringly before flashing him a grin. “Well then, cowboy, let's get to it.”

-

The drive wasn’t as bad as you’d thought it would be, pulling up to the hotel around one in the afternoon. Joel unloads your luggage from the bed of his truck and you wrap your arm around his bicep, walking toward the lobby after he locks up. It was a fancy hotel located right next to the Riverwalk with a huge ballroom for the reception. You had to hand it to your sister and Josh; this place was absolutely beautiful. 

You walked up to the reception desk with Joel in tow, and the spunky brunette smiled as you approached her. 

“Hi, we’re here for the Martinez wedding.” 

“First name?” The receptionist asks, typing something into her computer. You give her your first name and she pulls two keys out of a cardholder, handing it over to you. 

“Ah, sister of the bride! How exciting. You two will be on the seventh floor, third room on the right after you get out of the elevator. Enjoy your stay.” 

“Thank you so much.” You say, taking the card keys from her before you step away from the desk. You and Joel were heading towards the elevator when you heard a familiar voice call your name, and you turned around to see your brothers. 

Panic overtook your body for a few seconds, glancing at Joel who gave you a small smile. How was he always so calm? 

“Thought you could sneak past us without saying hi?” Cole says with a shit-eating grin, eyeing Joel as he comes up to you to give you a hug. 

“You ain’t slick, Shadow.” Andrew says, hugging you after Cole. 

“God, Andy, seriously? That nickname?”

”What, you afraid we’re gonna embarrass you in front of your boyfriend that you’ve been hiding from us?” Cole jerks his head toward Joel, who shifts on his weight as he lets go of his suitcase. 

“Shut up, Cole,” You roll your eyes, huffing a laugh. “Joel, these are my idiot brothers Andrew and Cole. Andy, Cole, this is my boyfriend Joel.” You introduce them, and Joel puts on his best smile before extending his hand. 

“Nice to meet you both.” He says, and it’s comical how both of your brothers try to come off as intimidating toward Joel. Joel keeps a calm demeanor anyhow; his steady, charming smile never wavering. 

“Uh huh. Nice to meet you too. Hey, let us buy you a drink, yeah?” Andrew says, jerking his head toward the bar located at the far end of the lobby. Joel glances at you as you give him a tight-lipped smile, wrapping your hand around his bicep once more. You turn back to your brothers before sighing. 

“Let us put our bags up in our room first before I let you harass him. Jesus.” You half-joke, and Cole claps Joel on the shoulder. 

“What makes you think we’re gonna harass him, Shadow? We’re just looking out for ya.” 

“That’s what I’m afraid of. Now please let go of his shoulder.” You roll your eyes and tug on Joel’s arm gently, coaxing him to follow you to the elevators. 

“Fine. See you down here in a few.” 

You wave your brothers off before getting into the elevator, hitting the seventh floor button. 

“Jesus, Joel, I’m so sorry. Thought we’d get a chance to fucking breathe before my brothers started literally harassing you.” 

He laughs and shakes his head, giving your temple a kiss. “Ain’t nothin’ to worry about, baby. They’re just bein’ protective. I get it.” 

“Just… take anything they might say with a grain of salt.” 

He chuckles and nods as the elevator dings and the door opens to the seventh floor. You stop in front of your room and open the door, gasping at how beautiful it is. The king bed in the middle looks absolutely heavenly, and your mind can’t help the  image flashing in your mind of you and Joel getting tangled in those very sheets. Heat rushes to your face at the thought, and you walk over to the window to distract yourself. The gleaming summer sun reflects on the calm waters below at the Riverwalk, giving it a mesmerizing gleam. 

Joel wraps his arms around your waist from behind and kisses your shoulder. “Beautiful,” He murmurs, but unbeknownst to you, he wasn’t talking about the water below. 

“We should go back down so my brothers don’t give you more shit than you’re probably going to get.” You grimace at the thought of what they’re going to say to him. 

Joel chuckles and playfully shakes you before loosening his grasp on your midsection. 

“Just promise me you won’t run for the hills if they get to be too much. I’ll put them in their place.” You offer, and Joel kisses your forehead. 

“I’d only run if you were right by my side, baby.” 

-

Joel didn’t know what to expect from your brothers. He could feel the nerves buzzing off of you as you both made your way back to the elevator to go down to the lobby again, and he wanted nothing more than to ease your erratic nerves. 

He knew from the very beginning that he’d be in the long haul of things with you, so he knew facing your family at some point was going to happen. Absolutely nothing your brothers say or do will make him ‘run for the hills’, as you’d put it. 

Joel thought the look you tossed his way when the elevator doors opened to the lobby was adorable. He could tell that you wanted this to go well, and who was he to let you down? 

Joel gave your hand a squeeze as you both made your way up to your brothers again. 

“Joel, how ‘bout that drink.” Andrew says, head jerking toward the bar on the opposite end of the lobby. 

“Sure.” He says, trying to keep his cool. He wondered briefly if this was the slight fear you might’ve felt when you met Sarah. 

“I’m gonna go find mom and Em.” You say, giving Joel a kiss on the cheek. He watches you walk out before your brothers tug him along to the bar area, ordering a round of Lone Star. 

“So I’m a real cut-to-the-chase type guy,” Andrew starts, settling into the barstool next to Joel. Joel nods and sits up straight before taking a swig of his beer to ease his nerves. “I’m sure you’re aware of our sister’s past relationship. Who’s to say you won’t hurt her like that asshole did?” 

Joel was taken aback at Andrew’s bluntness, but his expression never wavered or gave anything away. “I know what it’s like to be hurt in a way that ya can’t ever forget about. The mother of my child left when my baby girl was only a year old. Said she couldn’t handle bein’ a parent n’ left me to fend for myself. Bein’ hurt like that,” Joel shakes his head and looks down, “It ain’t right. I would never want anyone to feel the way I felt when she walked out the door. I know your sister’s situation is a bit different, but my feelings toward it are all the same. I like your sister a whole lot n’ the last thing on God’s green Earth I’d ever wanna do is hurt ‘er.” 

Andrew nods, weighing Joel’s answer in his head. Joel was telling the truth. He’d never want to hurt you. You deserve to be happy, and he knows you can do that completely on your own, but he loves to be the reason behind it. He loves seeing you smile knowing he’s the reason it’s there in the first place. 

“What do you do for work?” Cole changed the subject, and Joel shifts his gaze to the younger brother. 

“I’m a firefighter for the city of Austin.” 

“I’ll be damned. Shadow always said she loved a man in uniform,” Cole teased, and the three men chuckled in unison. 

“How come y’all call her Shadow? She’s never told me anythin’ about that story.” Joel says, and the brothers can’t help but smile at the opportunity to tease their little sister.

“She was afraid of her shadow when she was younger, maybe around like two or three years old. We’d always tease her about it and the nickname just stuck.” 

“‘S actually really funny.” Joel said, thinking about how he’d be able to tease you later on with the newfound information. 

“So how did you meet our sister? She hasn’t told us a damn thing about you.” Cole grimaces, taking a sip of his beer. 

“I met her at a local coffee shop near her apartment. She actually made the first move,” Joel recalls, and he can’t help but smile at the memory. “She paid for my coffee.” 

“That’s pretty out of character for her. She’s usually pretty shy.” Andrew said. 

“Believe me, I was surprised. She was so sweet… after I caught her checkin’ me out. I was in uniform.” Joel laughs, and the brothers join in with him. 

“Told ya she loves a man in uniform.” Cole nudges Joel. 

“You said you’re a firefighter,” Andrew repeats aloud, wheels turning in his head. “Shit, the accident,” He says, looking at Joel. Joel nods, not quite sure where he was going with this. 

“Wasn’t pretty. Got the call and I saw her car—”

“Wait, so you were on the scene? You’re telling me you’re the one who got our sister out of her car?” Andrew was bewildered, blinking rapidly in complete disbelief. 

Joel furrowed his brows and looked down at his knotted hands, reliving that moment in his head. 

“Yeah. I’d only known her for hours at that point, but all I knew was that I needed to get her out of there. Scared the hell outta me.” 

“Unbelievable. Can’t believe she left out that huge detail,” Cole chuckles and shakes his head, but looks up at Joel in all seriousness. “Thank you for saving her.” 

Joel gives them both a soft smile. “I’d save her all over again in a heartbeat.” 

“You’re a damn hero, man. To our sister and to Austin.” 

Joel never knew how to accept compliments that well, let alone the hero compliments. He just saw it as doing his job and getting to help those in need. 

“Well, cheers to you. We can both tell you’re an honest man and anyone who’s willing to literally—and figuratively, I guess—save our sister is a man who has our utmost respect.” Andrew says, holding his beer bottle up in the air. 

Cole raised his bottle and Joel followed suit, an echo of ‘cheers’ being thrown around. Joel’s nerves dissolved like cotton candy in water, relief flooding through his bones that your brothers approved of him. He knew meeting your dad was going to be an even bigger deal, so he was holding onto hope that it would go just as well. 

-

“So when am I meeting this Joel of yours?” Your mom says, perching her glasses on the bridge of her nose as she took a sip of her margarita. You found her and Emily poolside as they sipped their drinks while talking about last minute wedding details. 

“He’s at the bar in the lobby getting harassed by Andy and Cole.” You roll your eyes, and Emily laughs. 

“He’s a good man. I’m sure they’re all buddy-buddy now. Men are simple when it comes to meeting new people.” Emily waves her hand dismissively, easing your nerves a little. 

“Where’s dad?” You ask, looking between Emily and your mom. 

Your mom scoffs, “He’s upstairs taking a nap. Told him he wouldn’t be tired tonight but he seemed to think otherwise.” 

“He’s probably overwhelmed with all the wedding stuff.” You offer with a shrug, and your mom huffs. 

“He isn’t the one planning the damn thing.” 

“There you guys are!” Cole calls out to you three, Andrew and Joel in tow. Your eyes lock on Joel’s gaze and you’re relieved to see he made it out of the interrogation unscathed. 

He makes his way over to you, leaning down to give you a chaste kiss. 

“So you must be Joel.” Your mom says, eyes alight at the exchange you and Joel had. 

“I am. It’s so great to meet you, Mrs.—”

Your mom waves her hand to dismiss his formalities. “Oh, none of that. Just call me Alexandria. It’s nice to finally meet the man who’s been making my youngest daughter so happy.” She grins up at him, and it was easy to clock the blush that spreads over his tan cheeks. 

“I can argue that she makes me the happiest I’ve ever been.” He looks down at you and shoots you a wink, and you can’t help but roll your eyes playfully. 

“Touché, Miller.” You say, warmth filling your body as he wraps his arm around your waist. 

Everyone got into chatting about the rehearsal dinner and the bar of choice afterwards, scampering off to their respective rooms. 

It only took a couple of hours for everyone to get ready and head down to the lobby, being shuffled into the courtyard by hotel staff. Sage green and cream decorations adorned the spacious place with rows of chairs neatly lined up for the big day tomorrow. The gazebo at the end of the walkway was strewn with fairy lights that gave a soft glow that added to to romantic ambience. 

For a split second, you couldn’t help but let your mind wander to what your future wedding would look like… with Joel. You may have been presumptuous in thinking such a thing, but you truly felt deep down that this was the man you were meant to marry. 

The wedding coordinator lined all of the bridesmaids and groomsmen up, and you took your respectable place next to Karina who was your sister’s best friend and maid of honor. 

After two full run-throughs of the ceremony and placement adjustments, the wedding coordinator took everyone to the ballroom where the reception was being held.

It wasn’t long before everyone finished their dinners, polite conversation being held as the night went on. 

“So you’re the Joel everyone’s been buzzing about.” Your dad says, and you give him a stern look to say go easy on him. Not that Joel couldn’t handle himself, but because your dad could get a little out of hand at times. 

“Yes sir, that’s me.” He says, grabbing your hand underneath the table to give it a squeeze. 

“I hear you’re a firefighter. Good man.” Your dad nods in approval, and proceeds to ask Joel about some calls he’s gotten in the past. Everyone at the table was listening intently to him, curious as to what life as a firefighter is really like. 

Your gaze roams to your mom, who’s already looking between you and Joel with a sparkle in her eye you’d never seen before. She gives you a wink and sips her wine, turning her attention back to Joel. 

It seems his Southern charm and calm demeanor had won every single one of your family members over, and relief floods through your body at that. That’s all you wanted, and you couldn’t have been happier to see it become a reality. 

-

After dinner, Josh and Emily told everyone that they weren’t having a ‘traditional’ bachelor and bachelorette party. Instead, they wanted to go to a bar together and have a few drinks with everyone as one last celebration before they both say I do. 

It wasn’t surprising to you. Your sister had always been the homebody type and Josh was right there with her. You thought it was romantic in a sense, knowing that they really didn’t need anything big or to spend time apart before their big day. 

The bar was a few buildings down from the hotel, with a huge dance floor in the middle and patrons singing along to the mix of music that was playing as they drank. 

Your dad ordered a round of shots for everybody, making a toast to Josh and Emily. 

“To the bride and groom to be.” Your dad says, and everyone clinks their glasses together before throwing back their liquor. 

You shudder at the taste, setting the cup down onto the sticky bartop. 

“May I have this dance?” Joel asks you, holding his hand out for you to take. You grin and grab his hand, grip steady as he leads you out to the dance floor. 

You steadily sway to the song as you lean your head on Joel’s shoulder, letting him guide you to the beat. You glance up to see your family members have joined you both on the dance floor, and you smile in content as you squeeze Joel’s hand. He kisses your head before separating you, spinning you around so your back is against his front. 

He rocks you slowly, resting his chin on your shoulder before kissing your cheek. 

“‘M real happy you let me tag along this weekend, sweetheart.” Joel says, and you turn your head toward him and quirk an eyebrow. 

“Yeah? And why’s that?” 

“‘S nice to get out of Austin every once in a while. Your family is real invitin’, too.” 

“Before or after they interrogated you?” You ask with a smirk, and he laughs before spinning you again so you’re face-to-face. 

“Mostly after.” He confesses with a softness to his voice. You study his features unashamedly, the soft smile he has on his lips making your heart skip a beat as he looks at you with half-lidded eyes. 

There’s a certainty behind them that you can’t exactly pinpoint, but it made your whole body feel warm and fuzzy inside and you honest to god never wanted to forget the feeling. Joel is the only man who’s made you feel things you’ve never felt. He’s the only man who’s ever kept you on your toes yet has this overwhelming sense of comfort to him that just makes you want to give it all to him. 

And by the way he was looking back at you, you’d bet his thoughts are similar to yours. 

“You two are so in love it makes me sick.” Andrew sidles up beside you, nudging you in your ribs. 

Your eyes go wide and you look at your brother in panic, pleading him to shut the fuck up before you kill him with your bare hands. 

“Fuck off, Andy.” You roll your eyes, trying to play it cool. You didn’t deny the painfully obvious fact, though. You didn’t want to deny it. 

Was it fast? Yes. But you couldn’t help how you felt. You were tired of running from something that was great for you. You were tired of running from solidity and peace and patience and love, all of which Joel gave you without having to say a single word. 

And then you realized—Joel never denied it either. He didn’t deny it when your brother’s loud mouth said that sacred word. He didn’t deny it when you looked at him again, that familiar look in his eyes returning as he just smiled at you, seemingly content in every possible way. 

Before you could say anything, Cole comes up to you while waving a crisp twenty dollar bill in your face. 

“Betcha one Jackson that you can’t ride that bull over there and stay on for more than a minute.” He’s got a mischievous glint in his eyes, and you’d take any opportunity to prove your brother wrong. 

“Oh, I will. After this song though,” You grin at Joel as Boot Scootin’ Boogie plays over the speakers. “C’mon cowboy, I wanna show off my new moves.” 

Joel easily obliges as he takes you deeper onto the dance floor. You’re slotted in a mix of a sweaty and drunken crowd, too far gone to care if they’re too off-beat or embarrassing themselves. 

You follow Joel’s lead and you two easily end up in sync with one another, like it’s the most natural thing in the world. Somewhere between the spin in the chorus and the two-step move he’d taught you, you catch your family members staring at the two of you. Your mom whispers something to your sister, and you hope to god she didn’t change her opinion of him or something after seeing you two dancing like this. 

Emily knows you better than the back of her fucking hand, though, and she instantly reassures you with a smile and thumbs up before panic settles into your bones. 

Although it seems everyone in your immediate family approves of Joel, it would devastate you if they changed their minds about him for whatever reason. He wasn’t your ex. They at least knew that much. As much as you loved them, they were overbearing sometimes when it came to protecting you after what’d happened with Christian. You didn’t need that to drive a wedge between you and Joel, no matter how much of a forewarning you give him. 

The song ends and reality trickles back around you, as Joel spins you into him, giving you a chaste kiss. Your eyes flutter open after you pull away in the slightest, and there it is — that look — unwavering, and clear as day in his eyes. 

“Go show ‘em how you ride it.” He remarks, shooting you a wink. Your face heats at his obvious innuendo, and he can’t help the sly smirk that grows on his lips. 

Without another word, he releases you from his grasp and urges you toward your brother, still waving the twenty in his hand around like a flag. 

You roll your eyes at him and climb up onto the mechanical bull, the DJ timing you into when the machine will start to move. 

It was slow at first, and you easily found a rhythm to keep steady on its back. It started to jerk around and spin faster, and your thighs burned as you clenched onto the sides for dear life. You wanted to give a little show though, so you placed your hands behind your back and looked up at your brother with a wicked grin. 

His face deflated as he knew he’d been beaten. Your eyes flicker to Joel and you want to laugh at his expression—it seemed to be a cross between lust, admiration and astonishment. 

Oh, cowboy. You have no idea what you’re in for. 

The DJ announces your victory and the patrons of the bar cheer you on as you hop off of the bull. You walk up to Cole and snatch the twenty bucks from his hand before leaning into Joel, pressing a kiss to his cheek. 

“Wanna go back to the hotel room? I’m beat.” You ask Joel, and he nods. You say goodnight to your family and other members of the wedding party before you both head back in a comfortable silence. 

Exhaustion settles in your bones as you fall into step side-by-side, and Joel pulls you into him as you walk into the lobby of the hotel. You make your way onto the elevators and Joel presses the button of your floor, looking at you with a softness in his eyes as he settles his hand on your shoulder. 

“Thank you again for doing this whole wedding fiasco with me.” You say, voice full of exhaustion. He shoots you a soft smile and pulls you in, wrapping his arms around you securely. You mirror his actions as you look at him, an adoring gaze sparkling in his eyes. He leans in and kisses your forehead, giving your body a small squeeze. 

“Of course, darlin’.” 

You went to bed that night with Joel’s arm wrapped around you and a mind of racing thoughts, all consumed by that feeling again—the terrifying, wonderful feeling that kept playing in your mind as if it was the most obvious conclusion you’ve ever come to. 

-

The next morning was a blur. You got up early, trying not to disturb Joel because he looked so peaceful in his sleep. It was chaos amongst the bridal party with everyone getting ready and your sister revealing her final look to the girls. Tears sprang in your eyes as you saw her with the biggest smile on her face, unwavering as she twirled around in her dress that fit like a glove. 

“Emi, you look so beautiful. Josh is going to lose it when he sees you.” You say, sniffling as she gives you a tight hug. 

“I love you sis. Thank you for being a part of my big day.” She says, rubbing your back before pulling apart from you. You grin at her and blow her a kiss, turning when you feel your mom slightly nudge you. 

“Speaking of losing it, Joel’s gonna be head over heels seeing you in this dress,” Your mom says, “Wonder what he’ll be like when it’s your guys’ wedding and he sees you in a bridal gown.”

“Mom,” You stop her, but you can’t help the way your heart stutters at the thought of marriage with him. “Please don’t.”

Way too fucking soon. Right?

Your mom throws her hands up in defense, giving you a knowing look. 

“That man is in love with you, baby. He looks at you like you’re the sun, moon and stars.” 

That feeling tugged at you once again. You began to internally panic, but luckily the bridal party got called to an area in the hotel to take pictures. You needed a distraction, because knowing you and your mind, you’d unintentionally start self-sabotaging your relationship with Joel. 

Fuck, your ex really did a number on you. 

The day seemed to run by in a blur. Watching your sister say ‘I do’ to the love of her life made you glance over at Joel in the crowd, and to your surprise, his focus was already on you. 

There was this undeniably soft look in his eyes that said a million words without him having to utter a single one. He winks at you with a small smile and you mirror his grin, heading back down the aisle after Emily and Josh made their way down. 

A few hours later it was well into the reception, and Joel offered you his hand so you could slow dance with each other. 

“You know this thing drives me crazy, right?” You say, tapping the brim of his Stetson. He looked at you with a smirk, raising his eyebrows. 

“Really? Couldn’t tell.” Sarcasm dripped from his voice and you rolled your eyes as you huffed a laugh. He was wearing an emerald green button down with black slacks and black shoes, and his black cowboy hat tied the whole look together. He’d been getting stares all night by various family members and friends from both sides of the parties. 

You thought jealousy would’ve brewed its way into you, sinking her claws into your flesh—but it was the complete opposite. Pride blooms in your chest as you slow dance with this handsome man—your handsome man. 

“You look absolutely breathtakin’ tonight though, baby.” Joel whispers in your ear as you lean your head on his shoulder, taking in his addicting scent. 

You smile against him and bring your arm up over his other shoulder, gently wrapping your fingers around the base of his neck. Your index finger twirls the curls peeking out of the bottom of his hat absentmindedly, swaying with him with total ease. 

“I can say the same for you.” You murmur, and he squeezes your waist softly. 

“Yeah?” 

You lift your head off of his shoulder to meet his gaze, light and playful. A glint of mischief flashes in his eyes and you bite your lip in anticipation, the bubbling arousal having never left you since the previous night. 

You nod, hesitating for a second to find the right words. You knew you wanted to take the next step with him and finally go all the way without being interrupted. That is, if he’d have you. 

“I’d love to show you.” You whisper as the song ends. An upbeat tune plays immediately after, everyone crowding on the dance floor. It was the perfect time to make an escape. 

He links his fingers with yours, leaning forward to kiss you. You can’t help but smile as his lips press to yours, and you can’t help yourself—you take the hat off of his head mid-kiss, plopping it onto yours. He separates himself from you with a soft smile and a daring glint in his gaze. 

He tsked at you teasingly, adjusting the hat to sit straight onto your head. 

“What was that about the ‘Cowboy Hat Rule’ again?” You feign innocence, and he can’t help but laugh at your antics, ultimately deciding to play along. 

“How ‘bout I show you rather than tell you?” He says, and that’s all you need to gently tug him away from the crowd and toward the lobby. You make your way to the elevators, nerves buzzing through your veins at the prospect of what’s to happen. 

After what feels like forever, the elevator doors finally open and you both step inside. The doors close after Joel hits the seventh floor button, and the tension radiating off of both of you in such a confined space was nearly unbearable. 

Joel takes his hat off of your head and gently pushes you against the elevator wall, crowding you with his broad body. Your heart is beating a million miles a minute as you stare at him, gaze never wavering. 

You open your mouth to say something, but Joel crashes his lips to yours in fervor. You moan into the kiss as you tangle your hands through his curls, tugging on the base of them. 

His free hand finds your hip and squeezes, rutting his hips into yours. You can feel his bulge through his slacks, and you can’t help but whimper into the intense kiss as one hand travels down his back. 

Before you can touch him any further, the elevator dings and he separates from you, locking eyes with an elderly couple. 

The woman has a knowing smile on her face and sighs, “Oh, to be young and in love.” Joel takes your hand and leads you out of the elevator and to your shared room, fumbling with the key. It almost calms you in a way to know you aren’t the only one filled with nerves, anxious about finally being able to have this time to yourselves. 

Joel tossed the keycard onto the side table when he finally got it open, putting his hand on your lower back to guide you into the room. The soft glow of the lamp illuminates his handsome features as he stares at you admirably, tossing his Stetson onto a chair next to the bed without looking. 

Joel steps closer to you, grabbing your hips gently before leaving a trail of kisses from your forehead, nose, cheek, and finally, your lips. The kiss was softer this time—full of emotion, saying a thousand words with one simple gesture. 

His hands skate up your back and to the zipper of your dress, parting his lips from yours as he looks into your eyes. 

“Can I?” His voice is soft but hopeful, and you instantly nod. He drags the zipper down your back with ease, slowly removing the straps from your shoulders. The dress pools to your feet below you, and you’re left in a lacy nude and black bra with black panties. Joel’s eyes rake over your body hungrily, hands twitching at his sides. 

“You’re so beautiful, baby.” 

You can’t help but feel shy for a second, but Joel wasn’t having any of that. He grips your chin between his thumb and forefinger, kissing your lips a few times before he nods his head to the bed. 

“On the bed, baby. Spread your legs for me.” His deep, commanding tone sent a shiver down your spine. You didn’t know what to expect, but it definitely wasn’t this. 

You do as you’re told, settling your head onto the plush pillows as you let your legs fall open. Joel moves to untuck his green shirt. He unbuttons the shirt slowly, never breaking eye contact with you. You bite your lip teasingly as you watch him undress, and his thick, tan torso comes into sight. 

“Fuck, you’re so sexy, you know that?” You say, but it nearly sounds like a whine. Joel flashes you a smirk before climbing onto the bed, slotting himself between your legs. Your arms grip his shoulders before grabbing the green material, sliding it off of his arms completely before tossing it onto the floor for him. You kiss his shoulder and neck, hands moving up to tangle themselves in his curls once again. 

He ruts his hips into you, and the pressure of his bulge catches perfectly onto your aching clit. You moan his name softly, moving one hand down to gently palm him through his slacks.  

“Can’t believe we finally get to do this without any interruptions.” Joel chuckles, moving down to kiss your neck. 

“Let’s not hold our breaths.” You say teasingly, fingers moving to unbutton and unzip his slacks. He allows it, not stopping you from eagerly undressing the rest of him. 

He separates himself from you, sliding the slacks down his legs before moving down the bed, kissing your body as he goes. His tongue traces lines down your thighs, dangerously close to your aching core, before he kisses your skin. He continues the assault of kisses until his mouth is hovering over the only thing that separates your most intimate part from him and his line of sight. He kisses the lace fabric once, then pokes his tongue out to drag the strong muscle from your entrance to your clit. 

You can’t hold back your moans anymore. You need him so bad. 

Your body was nearly shaking from the buzz of anticipation coursing through your veins, aching to have his hands and mouth all over you. 

He finally hooks his fingers into the side of your panties, tapping your hips twice to silently instruct you to lift them. You comply once more, and Joel drags the lace material down your legs. 

He comes back up to you, kissing your lips once before settling his face between your legs again. 

You feel so exposed and almost embarrassed, but the carnal need for this man outweighs the shyness a thousand times over. 

“So perfect, baby. So goddamn perfect. ‘N all mine.” He says, looking up at you before separating your glistening folds with his middle and forefinger. You gasp and whine his name as he just stares at you, mesmerized by the way you squirm under his touch. 

You try to beg and plead him to do anything, but the words won’t come out. 

He seems to have decided he’s teased you enough, because the next thing you know, his tongue licks a long stripe up from your entrance, through your folds, and up to your clit. Your moans only spur him on as he solely focuses on you, eating your pussy like a starved man. 

Nobody has ever turned you on the way Joel Miller has, and you cannot for the life of you believe this man is yours. He’s yours, and he’s here, very present and very meticulous when it comes to pleasing you with that beautiful mouth of his. 

Joel moves his tongue down and prods into your entrance, fucking you with the muscle. Your back arches off of the mattress and he has to use both of his hands to hold your hips down, locking his fingers down into your flesh. 

“Fuck, Joel—” You squeak out as his tongue moves up to your clit, circling it a few times before sucking it into his mouth gently. The pressure is just right, and your brain is getting fuzzy—you knew you weren’t going to last much longer. 

Joel takes one of his hands away from your stomach before separating his mouth from you, coating his digits in your slick. He sends a wicked smirk your way before going down again, and this time, his middle and ring finger enter you. 

It stings so good, mainly because you haven’t had this in a long time. He pumps his fingers in and out of you at an expert pace, curling them up to hit that sweet spongy spot. 

You immediately crumble. Your hips are writhing wildly beneath his half-soaked face as you cry out his name over and over again. You’re gushing all over his fingers, desperately gripping onto the soft comforter beneath you as you ride out your intense orgasm. 

“Atta girl,” Joel breathes, mesmerized by the way you clench around nothing after he removes his fingers from you. “Taste so fuckin’ good, darlin’.” 

He moves up to kiss you, and you can immediately taste your slick arousal on his lips and tongue. You hum into the kiss as you palm him through his boxers, tugging on the band as you separate from him. He knocks his forehead against yours gently before sliding the material down his legs, now completely bare for you. 

His hand moves to the clasp of your bra and unhooks it easily, breasts spilling out as he tosses the material on the floor with the rest of the clothes. 

He looks down at you with a soft smile, and you can’t help but mirror his actions. It’s pure bliss and you selfishly never want this to end. His hand travels down your body and in between your legs, swirling the tip of his middle finger through your arousal. You gasp at the featherlight touch, clenching around nothing as he never breaks eye contact with you. 

You decide to return the favor, licking your hand before skimming your fingers over his torso before looking down to see them slide through the dark hairs that appear below his navel. You take in the sight of his cock; it’s girthy and the perfect length. You just know it’ll feel divine. You thumb the pre-come leaking from his tip, popping your finger into your mouth. 

You moan at the slightly salty taste, moving your hand back down to finally grip him with care. He feels heavy in your palm, warm and pulsating and fucking desperate for you to start rythmically moving your hand. You twist your wrist and start to pump him, and a guttural groan rumbles from the confines of his chest. 

“Fuck, baby—yeah, just like that. So good.” He groans softly, brows furrowing as he leans down to kiss you. 

And you spend the next few minutes like that—making out with Joel while he teases your swollen clit, fingers briefly delving into your entrance before moving back out, and your hand slowly twisting up and down his silky flesh. 

Something about this was so sweet to you, albeit the act being promiscuous. You were taking your time with each other, savoring every moment you have now. God knows when you’ll be able to do this in peace again once you get back to Austin. 

Joel’s body tenses for a second before he pushes your hand away, chuckling in defeat. 

“Don’t wanna come yet, sweetheart.”

You nod in understanding and he slips his fingers away from your dripping heat, bringing them up to your mouth. You eagerly suck on his fingers, staring up at him in a way to say I want you. I’m ready to have you—if you’ll have me. 

Joel climbs on top of you once more, kissing your forehead. He nudges his nose against yours before looking at you again. 

“Wait, I didn’t bring any protection.” His shoulders deflate at the realization, and you can’t help but softly laugh. 

“I have an IUD, Joel. Only if you’re comfortable with going through with this, I’m right there with you.” You reassure him. 

He looks concerned for a second, hesitating as if his mind is running a million miles a minute. 

“You sure about this, baby?” He asks, cupping your cheek in his hand before kissing your nose. You nod with no hesitation. 

“Absolutely sure, Joel. I’m yours.” You whisper, and he can’t help the grin that spreads across his face before he leans down to kiss you. He swipes the head of his cock through your folds, stopping at your entrance. 

He separates his lips from yours once more, “Tell me to stop if it’s too much, okay?” He says, and you nod. He hums in content, pushing himself into you slowly. 

You gasp at the stinging feeling, fingertips digging into the back of his shoulders. 

“There you go baby, that's it. Doin’ so well, pretty girl.” He praises, kissing your lips repeatedly as he reaches the hilt. 

The feeling is cosmic. The stretch is absolutely delicious. You whisper his name to him, threading your fingers through his hair once more in desperation as your meek voice finally found its way aloud. 

“Move, Joel. Please.” 

And he does. He starts off slow, rocking his hips into yours. The slide of his velvety length in and out of you is otherworldly. 

Your eyes rolled to the back of your head as he held onto the back of your neck, picking up his pace. He leans down to capture one of your breasts in his mouth, swirling his tongue expertly around your pert nipple as he continues rocking his hips into yours. 

Your moans are increasingly louder, not exactly giving a fuck who can hear you anymore. Your mind was solely consumed about the man ravishing your body in such a way that had you seeing stars. 

The weight of his body on yours, his soft groans, the heavy feeling of his cock, his scent, his curls—everything about him was all-consuming, and you loved it. 

“So pretty, baby. Feel so fuckin’ good. All mine.” Joel babbles, dropping his forehead onto your shoulder. You try to grind your hips in sync with his expert thrusts, creating an almost unbearably pleasurable friction. 

Your hands fly to his back and you scratch down his skin, head flying back onto the pillows as you arch your back into him. 

“Joel, fuck, I’m so close.” You cry, eyes squeezing shut as the familiar flame burns bright within your core. 

“Me too, baby, fuck—where–where do you want me?” He asks, chest heaving as his thrusts become impossibly faster. 

“In me, Joel. Please.” Your plea is breathy and desperate, and you feel yourself teetering over the edge, devastating euphoria ripping through your body as your cunt convulses around his cock. 

You bury your face into his shoulder, crying out his name. 

“Fuck, sweet girl, I—” 

His spend is warm as he comes, buried in you as he groans your name breathlessly. He slumps down onto you, wrapping his arm around your waist as he rolls over on his side, taking you with him. He slips out of you slowly and you both groan at the loss of contact. 

You nuzzle into him as he kisses your forehead repeatedly, running his hand up and down your spine as you both come down from the high. 

“Fuck, that was—” You pause, and Joel chuckles. 

“Yeah, it really was.” He agrees, tipping your jaw up so he can kiss you chastely. 

Your eyes were heavy now, tracing his hairline down to his jaw and to his lips. He kisses your fingers as exhaustion consumes you both. He throws the comforter over your bodies and he gives you one last kiss. 

“Goodnight, sweet girl,” And if you weren’t in such a comatose-like state, you would’ve heard him softly whisper the words “I love you.” 

And if you would’ve heard those words, you would’ve said them right back. It might’ve scared the hell out of you, but you could no longer deny the fact—

You were, in fact, in love with Joel Miller, too. 

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[nostalxgic]

RESURRECTING MY DEAD ACCT FOR YOU DEV BABY