savelete, caniculae @not--f3tch - Tumblr Blog

When my bf gets on my nerves I dress provocatively in the gym the next day so he can have a taste of the fact that I can literally pick up any dude at any moment and that's pretty fucked up on my part but also don't fuck w me and also I'm a little drunk

Just dumped out my water bottle and filled it with beer so that's how my night is going

R: are you guys moving in together after college?

BF: yeah we want to but idk cause carols parents won't be ok with it

R: yeah same w me and my gf we probably won't move in together until we're married

Me: do u rly wanna marry someone who takes an hour to make u some eggs though

My bf wanted me to sleep over last night but his roommate is like super conservative so he snuck me in and we had to sleep in the living room but then his other roommate and that guys gf came into the living room at like 2 am to make omelettes aND IT TOOK THEM LIKE AN HOUR AND JUST OMG FUCK YOU how stupid must u be to take an hour to make some gd eggs