Unhinged, unprofessional, and delusional side acct • #1 local girlfail • peak adhd • Totally not tabling at: ANYC, San Japan https://pandanmilktea.carrd.co
No, I’m TOTALLY not Pandanmilktea! You mean that girl who draws Fate and Wuwa in the Artist Alley? Who DOESNT have a foot fetish?
You’re VERY ABSOLUTELY WRONG! I’m an impostor! I don’t know who this Panda girl is.. she’s weird.
A-anyways, I yap a lot, mostly abt dumb shit, like my art progress, my yaps, being a simp... Why are you here??? I’m not makin’ a twitter side bc I don’t want my yaps to gain traction! No one that I don't want reading my stuff is on Tumblr! So it's the perfect dumping ground! I like writing and journaling, and have a lot to say! I just… don’t say it. lol.
And I mean… I guess, sure, I’ll post some of my pieces here. I AM an Artist Alley artist, I suppose. Maybe I’ll see one of you tumblr degens at a con or smt, idk. I’d probably explode if a customer told me they’re reading my tumblr soapbox talks. Pls leave me be to talk to the void pls😭✋
Also u-uh, please don't take what I say seriously?? I'm just a girl who likes to yap. And I yap a LOT. Nothing evil, I assure you. B-but uh, just let me yap in peace!
(I am talking about anime boobs, nothing to see here. Nothing interesting and nothing about freebies is talked abt here)
(… CANT YOU READ ASSHOLE????)
(ok if you scrolled this far you DEFINITELY have a problem! Turn the game console off now!)
(Ok fuck it. This is gonna make me sound dumb. I know you’re here. The question is, why? You want freebie updates? Wait till I post it on Reddit. Capiche?)
(Ok. I’m gonna be blunt. I will be thirsting over him. You know how I feel abt that. Nothing malicious, just a woman talking to the void about her thoughts. alright now go away)
(Huh??? I said go!)
(SON OF A BITCH!!!)
Ok so I was thinking to myself as I was finishing up my SK: you know those fits he wears is kinda basic. Nice but basic. I mean, if I’m gonna need to crunch I’m going back to my OG idea. But I thought to myself: doesn’t he like Yohji Yamamoto? Then I went through the new collection and….
Hehehe. Also I like color, it makes shit pop. Now, hypothetically, and this is an impossible scenario btw! But, hear me out. If the man said: “panda, I need you to dress me up.” I’d be like “we’re going loose, silky fabrics!” All the way!
I think this would look immensely good on him. Hell I’d draw it too, the knit/distressed material is really fun to draw and I love adding cool shapes when I draw! Plus.,, the back. Ooh HEHEHEHEHEHEHE perfect opportunity to peep the back tattoo. The tank’s nice bc you get a peep of the edges of his back tattoo, and this would be the perfect opportunity to get a peek of that. Now that would be extremely hot.
Like I thought of this piece from ASK when I saw that. Like, see what I mean? It’d be fun to draw, and it’s hot! Also ASK is like… THE art hero for many of my peers, myself included. FUCK her shapes are so fucking good! I’ve been following her for years bc of her FGO art and my god SHE EATS EVRY SINGLE TIME IHH. No wonder why y***** traced her artwork.
Funny story, before the tracing allegations began, I was looking forward to seeing her booth since I found out we both got into ANYC 24. I walked around Fanime and she had a whole ass line, but always wanted to see their merch up close. Then that happened and now I have peers of mine, whenever we stream, that jokingly say “I’m gonna pull a ******!” (They don’t trace, dw).
And speaking of ANYC… ugh god FREE ME FROM MY SHACKLES 😭✋ I’m hopping onto this dumb ass freebie as soon as I’m done with em!
I think the black tank would be preferable in this case. The white tank is nice (for… other reasons I won’t explain), but the black coordinates better in this case. But if it were me? Maybe have the neck line a little lower. Oakland’s was nice but… show the tiddies. I mean… not all of em at once but… I appreciate a classy but sexy tiddy window. Either that or a black muscle tank with a low dip. We like that tasteful side peep. By we I mean me. Idk why the hell **** would be reading ts. Pants wise, long and flowy. Plus points if it’s the sweatpants band. Threads. Strings. Me like. Texture, flow, and pops of color. I think red would work best.
Necklace wise his basic ass silver necklace and rings are fine. But they are necessary. Eye candy. Brings attention to the collarbone, and yall know I’m a sucker for that shit. If it were me, I’d embellish it further with a dog tag like necklace, or a vertical bar necklace that’s a little longer. Ooh that’d be yummy.
I think these are nice too! That long, flowy, textured kinda go. I could see him wearing smt like this. But rn we’re talking about what panda likes. And we know it: loose, breathable fabrics that wrap around that thinly drape over the shoulders. Lounge wear sexy.
Oooh yanno what would be hot? A long sash hung over his shoulders. U know the Leon Kennedy fit? This but black and thinner. And the first outfit I talked abt on this post. HOT. AS. FUCK. Ooooh. But I might go into cardiac arrest and not be able to table at ANYC. Hmmm. Hmmm.
Well that’s just me. Because I can. And he’s not listening or taking notes. He’s his own person and he can wear wtv he wants. I’m just talking about what my freebie fit is gonna be if hypothetically it were up to me. Bc I don’t like basic!
B-besides why would he be on my blog? I make my thirst thoughts purposefully hard to navigate through! Plus I-i would uh.. I’ve talked about my ~thoughts~ and ~ideas~ on here, so… ok look, I’m turning 26, it’s normal to have these thoughts! I don’t even mention his name anymore!!
(I’m talking about my ~thoughts~ here GO AWAY FOR REAL IF YOU HAVENT OR U HAVE A MICROPENIS!) also btw if u don’t know… my ~thoughts~ will always stay as ~thoughts~ and nothing more! No I won’t act like this irl, Capiche?
It’s been a bit chilly in Cali ;_; I need a big strong man to cuddle and suck up heat from. A widdle birdie told me sources say he’s a furnace so that makes it ideal for this weather. I’ve always been more of a fan of cuddling and the events beforehand, catch my drift?
Noooo lads folks don’t go to wuwa I can’t have one of the few gacha I actually play get shut down bc of some random ass bullshit😭
Also maybe it’s an unpopular opinion but I actually like fan service. I mean, obviously as long as they’re an adult and under the context of “an individual exuding confidence and power” sorta vibe.
So what if Jane Doe’s boobs jiggle? So does Lighter’s ass. I actually find ZZZ’s and Wuwa’s fanservice very tasteful (looking at you Azur Lane, LOOOOL. JK. I love Formidable’s design). Not that I don’t mind modesty, but limiting yourself to such designs stifles creativity. Nudity in art isn’t inherently sexual.
For example, Cantarella’s got big melons but holy shizz I am in love with her concept and character. At a glance, she portrays herself as this dominating, “mommy vibes.” When we first go into Rinascita, we only got the rumors to figure out who Cantarella is. But when we meet her, the reality is the opposite. She’s respectable, elegant, and an integral part of the story.
When we have little information to go off from, misinformation spreads easily and can be falsely interpreted as the truth.
Also SK’s design. Fucking chef’s kiss. Revealing and elegant. She’s waifu. Maybe if Iuno didn’t come around SK would have had that title, heh.
Wrt FGO, Nitocris Alter’s 3rd ascension features nudity, but it is not sexual. Relevant to her character, her artwork also features elements of Ancient Egyptian Mythology on the Underworld: the balance with a heart and feather, and such in her design are in equilibrium. Also nudity was a thing in many non-European cultures.
Also don’t sleep on those gooner gachas! The MC of Nikke is a feminist that advocates for equal rights! Wuwa’s worldbuilding is based on music, and our MC has a lot of gray characteristics! And we all know it’s a queendom, hence why I’m the female Rover 😂
The fuck??? Internet incels are shitting on… Hip dips? Why tf do they call it “hiplets?” EXCUUUUSE ME??? HIP DIPS ARE AMONG ONE OF GOD’s GREATEST CREATIONS!!
Well it’s no wonder they are incels; all that screen time from league and cod fried their brain so that they cannot appreciate true exquisite taste when it’s in front of them. Multi-course fine meals, hearty and delicious, and yet they push that all for chicken tender slop.
I love hip dips. I love drawing them even more. The best part abt drawing garters or thigh accessories is that squishy-ness around the band to emphasize that those thighs are SOFT! I’m gonna draw all my waifus with hip dips for my next few pieces out of spite. Oh, and I like a little belly sometimes too. More to love. If you’re gonna goon, you will goon to taste.
(Go the fuck away!! I want nothin’ to do with you!)
this is very bad
some of my friends asked the gc for arm ref pics and I sent them photos of.... well... you know who. They said they needed "mildy muscular and male" so I looked through my archive to find refs that resemble what they were trying to draw.
well the good part is is that I helped my friend. They loved it. the bad part is that it's ****
... wait a second. Now that I think abt it, these are good references. hmmm. No! Not what you're thinking! I meant for when I draw. Also I see anatomy as smt gender neutral wrt proportions and learning the general gist of it. Not all bodies align with heteronormative body proportions, so when I study anatomy, that's what I keep in mind!
It’s been really hot in the afternoon and chilly at night. It’s chilly rn ;_; y-you know it’d be kinda nice to have a cuddle buddy to snuggle w-with. I-in a non-sexual manner btw!! Jesus hell! It’s for heat! And I’m anemic, i LACK heat! I am looking for a guy to sleep on his chest and touch his six pack! No one remembers that reference, not even you, void! God I’m so stressed with con prep all I want is to go to sleep and dream this exact scenario plsssssss. Except for this one afterwards we…. NO! Shut up! No you DONT wanna know! It’s not nefarious but… hey! I’m an adult! I know I sound stupid on the net’ but I PROMISE WITH MY HEART I’m a baddie irl! Ofc I’ve been with irl dudes! N-no! It’s not gonna happen irl! I’m not THAT crazy! It’s literally impossible. Why would he?? I’m from NorCal, just a fan, drew fanart of him, and thirsted abt wanting to **** ** with him so… that’s an IMMEDIATE no! To quote CaseOh: “we can’t always have what we want, can we?” The possibility of him having ANY sort of attraction, even a “dang she’s cute” kind of thought is as possible as CaseOh spending the night with Chris Redfield shirtless in a thong… impossible!
… I guess not getting into AX this year was a blessing in disguise. Not only bc of the air pollution, but if **** shows up + can’t breathe in Kentia Hall = cardiac arrest. Next year tho is fair game. At that point he would have forgotten my existence so applying to SoCal cons should be safe.
This is fucking terrible, i have more pics of ____ than Vergil on my phone.
We need DMC6. Right now! I can’t do ts anymore!! Someone get me out of this fuckin mess or I’m gonna embarrass myself even more! I’m better than this!
Id say I would go back on nexus mods to download some nice stuff but I don’t want my pc to crash and die bc i actually need it and im busy so im cooked on that
For the void: in the Artist Alley world, it’s one of the best cons in the country! The staff are immensely sweet, transparent, and dedicated. One of my closest friends was a direct victim of the Katsucon dookie-water disaster, and the staff went out of their way to support the entire artist alley, as well as the folks directly affected. Also the Gaylord is super duper pretty. That, along with Magfest and LVL UP (not for profit reasons), are my dream cons.
However, it is juried and EXTREMELY hard to get into. I mean, I’ve gotten into more juried than lotto cons, but I’ve never gotten in, and many other established artists. The con is if you get in, none of your friends get in, and it’s likely folks within your niche in art may not have gotten in either. So your stamp rally choices are limited.
Maybe this year, with more merch and fandom variety, I may have a shot. Also AFAIK I’m the only one with metal band prints. We will see.
Bruh back when I was a tiny kid with a fat ass crush on Louis Tomlinson…. Lwk I think I vibed with Eleanor more than him LOOOOOL
I was obv a minor but I knew at the time this was all a crush. But MANNNN I wanted to dress like Eleanor back in the day. Like she was and still is ✨that girl✨ I wanted to wear top shop because of her but alas— strict immigrant parents and it was expensive lol. I swear though, I have a green top similar to hers, yes THAT green top. I still wear it, 14 years later, when it’s a business occasion lol. I never heard her speak but I hope the diva is still diva’ing to this day
(Extremely uninteresting Nearing EOW con progress)
SK should be done by EOD so that’s good to go. I’ve set ink as my total deadline for non-print merch+stamp rallies, which is doable. Then when I return home it’ll just be full-on grinding prints+ foil layouts. I think most of my newer prints will be foil but we will see. Rn my priorities are standees->non-print merch->ink freebies->stamp rallies->Remielle->Hiyuki. For fabrics I’m looking into shopping bags since they’re practical and NYC folks are hoes for bags. Coin purses are a maybe. Aside from speciality keychains the new shit will be 100% tins and totes.
Turns out taking your iron supplements with OJ helps absorb iron. Who knew. I also had a steak while I was out with a good friend of mine. $22 so lwk a steal in this economy. And honestly.. it helped a lot. I NEED iron. Supercharge me with it. I’m trying to avoid needing an iron infusion 😭
(End of log)
(Uh…. Can you not?)
(you DO know why I shove ts down to the bottom, right?)
(CANT U LET A WOMAN SIMP IN PEACE????😭😭✋)
(In the off chance he’s actually read up to this point, which I doubt, it would be a nightmare.)
Uhm well… uh. I like both the black and white tank top. But for uh… obvious reasons… I’m more of a fan of the white tank. Why you ask? W-well uh… when an individual perspires the fabric will dampen and stick to the skin. So uh… it’s very easy to tell he has nice abs and pecs and honestly I fuck with that. Also I got back into the gym bc I also need to work out. Gotta have a hot summer bod. lol.
But you know what I’m a bigger fan of? Muscle tanks. I used to hate them on dudes when I was in middle school, but now? Oooh if he shows up in one I’m pretty much dead. I saw some fan vids of him wearing em in the wild and uhhhh you know what.. im gonna say it. I like having a peek, especially since he’s been working out and has definition hehe. Hey! He’s not listening ok? B-besides, I used to date a very tall man, not as tall as ****, but aside from being sweet + we ended on good terms, he was also very fit and muscular. I won’t elaborate any further…. Except for the fact that I really like head pats. From anyone really. Whether it’s platonic or flirty. But if it were from **** I would explode. Not that I would get one tho! Tf? Ain’t no way. I am never seeing that man in the wild! And I will never act on my feelings for him in that situation! Or at all! So bc of that + why the hell would he be reading this shit anyways; I can say this freely: holding hands and in front of a mirror. Bonus points if the weather is rainy or snowy outside. Hey! I like ambiance and slow sensuality. Also I would like to sh**** with ***. And cuddling after ***
H-hey now! I am a young woman nearing her late twenties. It is normal for me to have lustful thoughts over someone I admire. And there’s nothing wrong with me expressing desire to the void, no? Of course nothing will happen from this, but I shouldn’t deny that my emotions exist >.> as long as I keep ts to myself!
Yes I’m aware they aren’t reciprocated! Me being NPC + logistics aside, he’s out of my league! If I saw a man like him irl, I’d be like “woah he’s really cute but also scary, I’ll uh.. social distance myself! Pls don’t perceive me!! Shit!! *runs away.*”
You think he’s gonna snoop on here and be like: “OwO this waifu artist who is my fan and drew me ONLY ONCE is thirsting over me? Ooh I wanna see what she says!” Like no…. That’s not a thing.
Hundreds of thousands of folks neared the barricade throughout their shows. Ain’t no way he’s gonna recognize me or know what I look like! Also if I saw him irl I’m running away.
Because at the end of the day I ain’t actin’ on my feelings and I’m an NPC! J-just leave me alone! All crushes fade away some day. But for now, just let me entertain my own thoughts, capiche? Ok shoo!
I don’t tell folks this, but when I went to the psychiatrist years ago, they wanted me screened for both sleep apnea and autism. It was too expensive and I didn’t want a stigma attached to me, so I declined both and sought out adhd screening.
Also lol before I got dumped my ex told me he thought I was autistic bc months into dating he noticed I didn’t take subtle social cues.
I mean… it’s true 😭 I do notice them but it’s so ambiguous, and you can never know what someone is thinking. I’m of the statement: if you have an issue, communicate with me directly, or I wouldn’t know and will assume otherwise. I noticed NT social language is heavily based on picking up on the subtle ness, social hierarchy, collectivism. I mean— I don’t want to stick out like a sore thumb. But those social skills I noticed for me… took a bit longer for me to learn. Lwk it’s pretty tiring lol.
And if there’s anything I know about modern dating: the average man does NOT want to date a neurodivergent eldest immigrant daughter with mental trauma and illness, EVEN if she came out of it from the other side and did the proper healing. Yes, even the “good” men.
It took me a while to just unmask early on so I can weed out dudes who thought I was “too weird.” I mean, now that I think about it, I don’t think I can date an NT. Bro has to have some ND or adhd, even if undiagnosed, in there.
I will say though: I appreciate how tumblr allows long posting so I can info-dump without judgement. Even on main I hesitate unless it’s art related. The void is my only audience, so I’m happy I get to breathe, talk freely, and be “unmasked” in a way.
For my own reasons, I don’t think I will seek out an answer to that myself. I’m already diagnosed with ADHD and am pretty open about being ND in general. Maybe later in life I’ll think about it, but not now.
