Need vegetables?

You're not the first one to ask about my recipes.

[not-so-retired-farmer]

Come on in, darlin'!

What's your name?

Ah- right. Sorry, I'm not used to introductions. Name's James- James Winston!

How old are you?

It's rude to ask someone that, you know. Ahh, I'm just messin' with ya, I'm 41.

What are your pronouns?

Mm, I forgot people can ask that freely nowadays- which is good! It's great. I go by he/him, 'm a guy.

Who are you into?

That's... a complicated question. Haven't really thought about it, honestly. Not since I was 25-

Why not?

That's enough questions for today.

No, wait, sorry- one more? Please?

...fine.

You... don't have a godly parent, right? You're mortal?

Ah, yeah. Fully mortal over here, though I am clairvoyant!

My family:

@farmboywithatummyache

Reggie, my son- I love him to bits and would do anything to keep him safe. He's my baby, and even if he is a demigod... I'll make sure he lives a long and happy life.

Ooc under cut :3

Aaand meet my silly man!! @somebody-insertlyric over here with another guy-

Tags!!

#never left the farmer life behind — general posting

#somethin' the matter? — answering asks

#sprouting roots — end rp

#mod caring for the garden — ooc posting

[not-so-retired-farmer]

The anon just has a shit eating grin

Some bakery, with a stranger running it that has a really ominous presence

The anon is gone

James stared ahead of him, even after the anon disappeared. Gods damnit- those things just love to stir up trouble, don't they? He now needed to figure out an address, anything- he didn't like this, not one bit. He wished he could just magically know where the kid is. His hands trembled slightly as he tried to keep his composure- Reggie was still in the house, he couldn't scare his son... And knowing that boy, if he knew, he'd want to help. And James was not going to let him get into this- it screamed danger.

...maybe there was some kinda trail? Maybe he could figure out where Kérídi was through some clues- there had to be something.

[not-so-retired-farmer]

Anons just kidnapped your green child

He just picked his knife back up to cut up some tomatoes, when an anon spoke to him- and he immediately dropped the knife, turning sharply to face the being. He didn't even care that they called Kérídi his child- he hadn't had any serious talks with them yet, so he didn't want to assume anything- but he was still worried out of his mind because that comment. He looked to the living room, where the kid should be watching TV- nothing. Oh gods...

"Where-"

[not-so-retired-farmer]

Throws a wooden block at you

James was just in the kitchen, making food for him and the kids- Reggie was staying at the house for the school year and Kérídi was just kinda... there. Hey, he wasn't going to kick the kid out! Not when it seemed like help was needed. He was cutting up some vegetables for a salad, wondering if Kérídi even likes salad- they seemed to like toast, so maybe he should make some, just in case?

That's when an object connected with his head. It made him stumbe forward, nearly shoving his head in the salad he was making, as he yelped at the pain. The man turned around to check what just happened and- found a wooden block on the ground. Huh... Who put that there? Reggie doesn't play with toys anymore. That was probably what hit him, but who threw it? He rubbed the back of his head, groaning at the pain that was still there.

[the-great-emperor-commodus]

Commodus could be minding his own business, honestly doing whatever it is that he does- going about his day, when he heard a knock on the front door.

...was he expecting any visitors?

@not-so-retired-farmer

[he grumbled under his breath and went to get the door, probably the kids Having friends over..

he freezes for a second when he opens it]

OH- well that's a surprise,hello?

[not-so-retired-farmer]

"Hello-" Oh gods, why was he here? Couldn't he figure this stuff out on his own? Why did he think this was a good idea?

"...if. If one was going to get an apology gift for a harpy. How would one go about it. Hypothetically." Well, he did think Commodus was more knowledgeable than he was about this stuff, considering he hired those guys and it seemed like lived with them? So maybe that's why James was here, he figured he'd ask someone who knows more.

[the-great-emperor-commodus]

[it takes him a minute to realize what James is talking about]

oh now that's just precious, don't worry about it,part of the job,yeah?

[ an idea strikes his as he talks,and he considers his options for a moment,is he really THIS desperate to talk to the guy..?

yes he is.]

but since you're already here,come in for a momen.

[not-so-retired-farmer]

"No but I feel really bad- ah, you know what, I'll figure it out myself.." He decided he shouldn't really poke the bear, especially since he knew he couldn't really count on his strength in situations like these- Commodus was very clearly stronger than him.

He was about to leave when the emperor told him to come into the palace. Oh gods- yeah, he probably shouldn't have come here in the first place. He thought of a good way to recover, to leave. "Oh- oh, I... really shouldn't..."

[the-great-emperor-commodus]

[good gods up on Olympus he feels like he's loosing his mind when he hears that,its just so endearing,he can't resist the smile forming on his face]

adorable.

[well shit,not the best thought to voice,time to hard pivot.]

oh that wasn't a question. now come in, I'll make tea,yeah?

[not-so-retired-farmer]

"Wh-" James couldn't help the little confused noise at the comment, what was that supposed to mean?? He probably didn't want to know, but he still was confused about it.

He rubbed the top of his hand with his other hand nervously before stepping inside, gods this was stressful. He never should've come here. "...alright."

[the-great-emperor-commodus]

[the reaction doesn't help,still adorable,and it still made him lose his mind a little bit.

he sighs and leads him into the proverbial lion's den,one hand on his shoulder with a grip of he hopes normal strength.]

alright come along now..

[he isn't even sure what he's doing anymore, this is just pathetic,why was THIS his type??]

[not-so-retired-farmer]

Even if Commodus was holding his shoulder with regular strength, to James it still felt like an iron grip and added a lot of tension to this entire thing. He didn't know what he wanted from him, and he wasn't sure he wanted to find out, especially after that deal he struck with him last time in order to not die.

"Did- did you need something?" He'd ask, his voice a bit quiet, he didn't know what would anger the man.

[the-great-emperor-commodus]

[oh god the way this man reacted did something for him, he felt the urge to keep pressing,see how far he could get...

exercising insane amounts of self control he sits the man down in the kitchen,and gets to making tea]

a couple of things,but that's neither here nor there, can't a man talk to one of his favorite mortals?

[not-so-retired-farmer]

"I-" He wasn't sure whether to feel relief or fear when Commodus said that, wasn't sure whether that meant he was safe and wouldn't be killed or that he was entertaining to play with. Regardless, he decided to keep respectful, just in case he wasn't safe around this man.

"I mean-" He cleared his throat, trying to find the right words that wouldn't get him killed. "I didn't think I was one of those-?"

[the-great-emperor-commodus]

[he sets a cup of black tea on the table before james, and leans on the table, drinking his own, they seem to have little cat decals]

oh? the fact you're not dead yet should be proof enough,no?

[he sips his tea]

besides you're fun.

[not-so-retired-farmer]

"Right-" He guessed that was true, after all it was a miracle he was still alive after he picked a fight with that man. He stared at the tea for a moment as if it could be poisoned, but grabbed the cup carefully and took in its scent before taking a sip.

"Oh, I wouldn't say that about myself... I'm just some average guy, you know?" He held the cup with both hands, as he always liked to do when holding warm stuff, as he added, "But, uh, if you want to think that, I can't really stop you-"

[the-great-emperor-commodus]

[he watched the man carefully,not for any paranoia reasons,but because he was genuinely a sight to behold, every bit of him driving the emperor ever so slightly crazier.

and well.. other things as well,ones he didn't want to pay much mind to. it was one thing to be horny for the man but the kind of emotions he was holding back were both much more serious and harder to eventually explain to his husband..]

damn right you can't.

[he shoots back automatically,the snark and confidence at least keeping the setting somewhat normal..]

how's the kid, anyways?

[not-so-retired-farmer]

He blew on top of the cup, an old habit he's never quite bothered to get rid of, laughing awkwardly at the comment, thinking he could just... try to act normal, try not to get on Commodus's bad side or anything like that- he didn't know when he'd stop 'being fun' to him.

"Hm?" He.. didn't really expect the emperor to ask about his son. He didn't think this man cared much, honestly, he wouldn't be surprised if he was simply asking because of some underlying malicious intent, but he couldn't really deny him an answer. "Oh, he's... getting better I'd say. Still scared, but.. he's adjusting."

[the-great-emperor-commodus]

[he stays quiet for a bit, unexplained fondness blooming in his chest,he does his best to beat it down completely. shifting uncomfortably]

that's good..kids can be difficult.

[he sighs, thinking back to his early attempts at parenting]

worth the trouble in the end though.

[not-so-retired-farmer]

"I... wouldn't say he's being difficult. See, the garden is sort of.. his safe space. He the son of the god of farming, and for some reason that means he gets tummyaches when he's not on fertile soil." He didn't really know why he was expalining this to him, the words just... came out naturally, as if he was just having a regular conversation with a regular person.

He sighed, sipping his tea before continuing, "so.. yeah, it kind of sucks he got scared out of going there for a while, and I really didn't want to have to give him pain medicine every single day, so we settled on supervised garden time until he feels good enough to be there on his own again."

[the-great-emperor-commodus]

[hes...not sure what to say,he can't exactly help the situation out,can he? really it's his fault in the first place,and he doubts james would appreciate any attempt at help, much less if he suspected it didn't come from a genuine place.

that just left him scrambling for some comforting nicety, something to say just to ease the tension.]

that's uh.... that's gotta suck.

[and this is why he keeps out of politics.]

i mean, you're doing well?

[not-so-retired-farmer]

"Eh.. it had to happen at one point, right?" He tried to laugh it off, because what else is he supposed to do in a situation such as this one? "With him being a demigod and all... something bad was bound to happen."

He set the cup on the table, keeping his hands around it for warmth as he looked up at Commodus, "I'm doing alright, yeah. Just... workin' and stuff, you know?"

[the-great-emperor-commodus]

... guess so

[it did, didn't it? no matter how hard you try you can't keep them from harm forever...]

ugh, what could you expect, fault of the godly bastards if you ask me,spawn a thousand kids, putting targets on thier backs,and don't even bother, apathetic bunch of-

[he takes a deep breath, centring himself again, taking a long look at james when he speaks again]

clearly not hard enough if you're bothering with Delilah of all people- uh, creatures? you know what i mean.

[not-so-retired-farmer]

"Oh, I mean-" Yeah, he knew it was mostly the gods' fault- never showing up for their kids, never protecting them aside from maybe a small gift when they're conceived or born. Honestly, he felt grateful he even got anything, let alone a plant that could help heal his son in weird magical ways that he didn't understand. "I guess, yeah?"

He resisted the urge to laugh at the last comment- no, don't do that, that might be a wrong move. He might kill you for that. "I get a lot of alone time on the road. Time to.. think." He paused for a moment, "But, uh, enough about me. I'm.. sure you've been busy?"

[the-great-emperor-commodus]

yeah that's just- ignore that, there's history there.

[he debates with himself for a bit]

i mean i stand by it, but not to unload my most vitriolic of hatred into a decent conversation.

[he frowns,he wanted to hear more about the man, preferably everything there was to know]

well about as busy as a general without an enemy can be,the troops are there in tiptop shape and standing aimlessly without orders, it's just tragic is what it is.

[not-so-retired-farmer]

"...sure?" Gods, he hated saying 'I' so much. Or 'me'. Or whatever other stuff that refers to himself is. He didn't like constantly talking about himself, it felt odd, out of place. "Not going to ask."

He had no clue whether he was handling this well, didn't know whether he was on the right track to saving himself or not. He sucked some air in through his teeth awkwardly. "Ahh, um, that sounds... peaceful?" He didn't exactly... see anything wrong with there not being any fighting to do, in fact, shouldn't that be a good thing?

[the-great-emperor-commodus]

[he groans,every bit the bloodshed loving manchild history knew and hated]

peace is boring,makes you weak and complacent,if you don't push men to actually experience the battlefield they start getting ideas!

[he taps his foot]

that and they do need to eat every now and then... gonna have to figure something out soon, they're getting antsy.

[not-so-retired-farmer]

He was definitely NOT informed enough to argue about this, even if he thought peace was... kind of the goal. Maybe it was just the uh... times the both of them grew up in, that made them have different mindsets. Either way, he didn't want to end up dead, so he didn't argue.

"Ah-" He stared at Commodus for a moment when he heard that. This man commanded an army of... creatures. Not people, anyway. And those, and he knew that from experience, eat demigods. "R-right. I suppose they do..."

...He was honestly scared this was all a lure to make him bring his son there for the man's army to eat.

[the-great-emperor-commodus]

[he blinks at him]

how do you manage to forget that?

[judging by how scared the guy sounded maybe it wasn't the best idea to remind him...oh well, he'd get over it,, hopefully.

he leans into his space just a little,to really get his point across and for no other reason at all]

look,i could lie to you and say i don't like what i do,but that'd just be mean, wouldn't it?

[not-so-retired-farmer]

"No- No, I haven't forgotten, just... ah, whatever. It's not important." He raised his hands defensively, nearly knocking over the cup that was on the table, and immediately his eyes fell to said cup, hands flying towards it to keep it from spilling the tea over the table- gods that was stressful.

The moment the emperor got in his space, James wished he was a turtle so he could hide inside a shell or something- he pressed himself to the back of the chair, smiling nervously. "That- that's true, yeah... I'm uh.. glad? That you like your job?"

Gods help him.

[the-great-emperor-commodus]

[he laughs and pats james on the shoulder roughly]

oh man,this is what i mean, you're fun

[well,that and this was quite frankly getting a little too close to uncomfortable territory for a married man to be in,but that's not terribly important for him to know]

I'm just fucking with you,relax!

[not-so-retired-farmer]

"Gods-" A small sound escaped him at the contact, he couldn't say he wasn't scared for his safety and his son's right now- his body tensed the moment Commodus made contact with him. "Thank you-?"

How is a man to react to something like this? He's not quite sure this is a... universal experience. It wasn't common at all, probably. Relax? How could he? He couldn't help the stress that came with talking to this man, and the absolutely reckless decisions thet led to this. "Ahem- anyway- uh, is there... any reason you brought me inside...?" Jesus lord or Zeus or whoever the fuck is listening save him..

[the-great-emperor-commodus]

[he shrugs]

figured you don't have anything better to do.

[he should probably come up with a reason, shouldn't he?]

and i way or not have a request but that's besides the point

[fuck flirting got insanely more difficult in the last few hundred years, didn't it?]

[not-so-retired-farmer]

"Yeah, fuck my job, I guess..." He murmured under his breath, hoping it'd come off as a joke more than a complaint- that's what guys do, right? Joke about this stuff. Or maybe everyone does it and he just doesn't talk to enough people.

He stilled at the next words that left the other man's mouth. Good gods... a request? Was it time to cash in that favor from when he almost died fighting Commodus? He was so stressed. "Oh- oh, um. Y-yeah, sure, what's... what can I do..?"

[not-so-retired-farmer]

As someone listening no we will not save you

Suffer

"Wha-" He didn't understand at first, what was this odd creature talking about, but then remembered his silent plea for help- Commodus was... probably out doing something, maybe in the bathroom, he doesn't know. Point was, he wasn't there with James to witness this. "Wait- get me outta here-"

[the-great-emperor-commodus]

Commodus could be minding his own business, honestly doing whatever it is that he does- going about his day, when he heard a knock on the front door.

...was he expecting any visitors?

@not-so-retired-farmer

[he grumbled under his breath and went to get the door, probably the kids Having friends over..

he freezes for a second when he opens it]

OH- well that's a surprise,hello?

[not-so-retired-farmer]

"Hello-" Oh gods, why was he here? Couldn't he figure this stuff out on his own? Why did he think this was a good idea?

"...if. If one was going to get an apology gift for a harpy. How would one go about it. Hypothetically." Well, he did think Commodus was more knowledgeable than he was about this stuff, considering he hired those guys and it seemed like lived with them? So maybe that's why James was here, he figured he'd ask someone who knows more.

[the-great-emperor-commodus]

[it takes him a minute to realize what James is talking about]

oh now that's just precious, don't worry about it,part of the job,yeah?

[ an idea strikes his as he talks,and he considers his options for a moment,is he really THIS desperate to talk to the guy..?

yes he is.]

but since you're already here,come in for a momen.

[not-so-retired-farmer]

"No but I feel really bad- ah, you know what, I'll figure it out myself.." He decided he shouldn't really poke the bear, especially since he knew he couldn't really count on his strength in situations like these- Commodus was very clearly stronger than him.

He was about to leave when the emperor told him to come into the palace. Oh gods- yeah, he probably shouldn't have come here in the first place. He thought of a good way to recover, to leave. "Oh- oh, I... really shouldn't..."

[the-great-emperor-commodus]

[good gods up on Olympus he feels like he's loosing his mind when he hears that,its just so endearing,he can't resist the smile forming on his face]

adorable.

[well shit,not the best thought to voice,time to hard pivot.]

oh that wasn't a question. now come in, I'll make tea,yeah?

[not-so-retired-farmer]

"Wh-" James couldn't help the little confused noise at the comment, what was that supposed to mean?? He probably didn't want to know, but he still was confused about it.

He rubbed the top of his hand with his other hand nervously before stepping inside, gods this was stressful. He never should've come here. "...alright."

[the-great-emperor-commodus]

[the reaction doesn't help,still adorable,and it still made him lose his mind a little bit.

he sighs and leads him into the proverbial lion's den,one hand on his shoulder with a grip of he hopes normal strength.]

alright come along now..

[he isn't even sure what he's doing anymore, this is just pathetic,why was THIS his type??]

[not-so-retired-farmer]

Even if Commodus was holding his shoulder with regular strength, to James it still felt like an iron grip and added a lot of tension to this entire thing. He didn't know what he wanted from him, and he wasn't sure he wanted to find out, especially after that deal he struck with him last time in order to not die.

"Did- did you need something?" He'd ask, his voice a bit quiet, he didn't know what would anger the man.

[the-great-emperor-commodus]

[oh god the way this man reacted did something for him, he felt the urge to keep pressing,see how far he could get...

exercising insane amounts of self control he sits the man down in the kitchen,and gets to making tea]

a couple of things,but that's neither here nor there, can't a man talk to one of his favorite mortals?

[not-so-retired-farmer]

"I-" He wasn't sure whether to feel relief or fear when Commodus said that, wasn't sure whether that meant he was safe and wouldn't be killed or that he was entertaining to play with. Regardless, he decided to keep respectful, just in case he wasn't safe around this man.

"I mean-" He cleared his throat, trying to find the right words that wouldn't get him killed. "I didn't think I was one of those-?"

[the-great-emperor-commodus]

[he sets a cup of black tea on the table before james, and leans on the table, drinking his own, they seem to have little cat decals]

oh? the fact you're not dead yet should be proof enough,no?

[he sips his tea]

besides you're fun.

[not-so-retired-farmer]

"Right-" He guessed that was true, after all it was a miracle he was still alive after he picked a fight with that man. He stared at the tea for a moment as if it could be poisoned, but grabbed the cup carefully and took in its scent before taking a sip.

"Oh, I wouldn't say that about myself... I'm just some average guy, you know?" He held the cup with both hands, as he always liked to do when holding warm stuff, as he added, "But, uh, if you want to think that, I can't really stop you-"

[the-great-emperor-commodus]

[he watched the man carefully,not for any paranoia reasons,but because he was genuinely a sight to behold, every bit of him driving the emperor ever so slightly crazier.

and well.. other things as well,ones he didn't want to pay much mind to. it was one thing to be horny for the man but the kind of emotions he was holding back were both much more serious and harder to eventually explain to his husband..]

damn right you can't.

[he shoots back automatically,the snark and confidence at least keeping the setting somewhat normal..]

how's the kid, anyways?

[not-so-retired-farmer]

He blew on top of the cup, an old habit he's never quite bothered to get rid of, laughing awkwardly at the comment, thinking he could just... try to act normal, try not to get on Commodus's bad side or anything like that- he didn't know when he'd stop 'being fun' to him.

"Hm?" He.. didn't really expect the emperor to ask about his son. He didn't think this man cared much, honestly, he wouldn't be surprised if he was simply asking because of some underlying malicious intent, but he couldn't really deny him an answer. "Oh, he's... getting better I'd say. Still scared, but.. he's adjusting."

[the-great-emperor-commodus]

[he stays quiet for a bit, unexplained fondness blooming in his chest,he does his best to beat it down completely. shifting uncomfortably]

that's good..kids can be difficult.

[he sighs, thinking back to his early attempts at parenting]

worth the trouble in the end though.

[not-so-retired-farmer]

"I... wouldn't say he's being difficult. See, the garden is sort of.. his safe space. He the son of the god of farming, and for some reason that means he gets tummyaches when he's not on fertile soil." He didn't really know why he was expalining this to him, the words just... came out naturally, as if he was just having a regular conversation with a regular person.

He sighed, sipping his tea before continuing, "so.. yeah, it kind of sucks he got scared out of going there for a while, and I really didn't want to have to give him pain medicine every single day, so we settled on supervised garden time until he feels good enough to be there on his own again."

[the-great-emperor-commodus]

[hes...not sure what to say,he can't exactly help the situation out,can he? really it's his fault in the first place,and he doubts james would appreciate any attempt at help, much less if he suspected it didn't come from a genuine place.

that just left him scrambling for some comforting nicety, something to say just to ease the tension.]

that's uh.... that's gotta suck.

[and this is why he keeps out of politics.]

i mean, you're doing well?

[not-so-retired-farmer]

"Eh.. it had to happen at one point, right?" He tried to laugh it off, because what else is he supposed to do in a situation such as this one? "With him being a demigod and all... something bad was bound to happen."

He set the cup on the table, keeping his hands around it for warmth as he looked up at Commodus, "I'm doing alright, yeah. Just... workin' and stuff, you know?"

[the-great-emperor-commodus]

... guess so

[it did, didn't it? no matter how hard you try you can't keep them from harm forever...]

ugh, what could you expect, fault of the godly bastards if you ask me,spawn a thousand kids, putting targets on thier backs,and don't even bother, apathetic bunch of-

[he takes a deep breath, centring himself again, taking a long look at james when he speaks again]

clearly not hard enough if you're bothering with Delilah of all people- uh, creatures? you know what i mean.

[not-so-retired-farmer]

"Oh, I mean-" Yeah, he knew it was mostly the gods' fault- never showing up for their kids, never protecting them aside from maybe a small gift when they're conceived or born. Honestly, he felt grateful he even got anything, let alone a plant that could help heal his son in weird magical ways that he didn't understand. "I guess, yeah?"

He resisted the urge to laugh at the last comment- no, don't do that, that might be a wrong move. He might kill you for that. "I get a lot of alone time on the road. Time to.. think." He paused for a moment, "But, uh, enough about me. I'm.. sure you've been busy?"

[the-great-emperor-commodus]

yeah that's just- ignore that, there's history there.

[he debates with himself for a bit]

i mean i stand by it, but not to unload my most vitriolic of hatred into a decent conversation.

[he frowns,he wanted to hear more about the man, preferably everything there was to know]

well about as busy as a general without an enemy can be,the troops are there in tiptop shape and standing aimlessly without orders, it's just tragic is what it is.

[not-so-retired-farmer]

"...sure?" Gods, he hated saying 'I' so much. Or 'me'. Or whatever other stuff that refers to himself is. He didn't like constantly talking about himself, it felt odd, out of place. "Not going to ask."

He had no clue whether he was handling this well, didn't know whether he was on the right track to saving himself or not. He sucked some air in through his teeth awkwardly. "Ahh, um, that sounds... peaceful?" He didn't exactly... see anything wrong with there not being any fighting to do, in fact, shouldn't that be a good thing?

[the-great-emperor-commodus]

[he groans,every bit the bloodshed loving manchild history knew and hated]

peace is boring,makes you weak and complacent,if you don't push men to actually experience the battlefield they start getting ideas!

[he taps his foot]

that and they do need to eat every now and then... gonna have to figure something out soon, they're getting antsy.

[not-so-retired-farmer]

He was definitely NOT informed enough to argue about this, even if he thought peace was... kind of the goal. Maybe it was just the uh... times the both of them grew up in, that made them have different mindsets. Either way, he didn't want to end up dead, so he didn't argue.

"Ah-" He stared at Commodus for a moment when he heard that. This man commanded an army of... creatures. Not people, anyway. And those, and he knew that from experience, eat demigods. "R-right. I suppose they do..."

...He was honestly scared this was all a lure to make him bring his son there for the man's army to eat.

[the-great-emperor-commodus]

[he blinks at him]

how do you manage to forget that?

[judging by how scared the guy sounded maybe it wasn't the best idea to remind him...oh well, he'd get over it,, hopefully.

he leans into his space just a little,to really get his point across and for no other reason at all]

look,i could lie to you and say i don't like what i do,but that'd just be mean, wouldn't it?

[not-so-retired-farmer]

"No- No, I haven't forgotten, just... ah, whatever. It's not important." He raised his hands defensively, nearly knocking over the cup that was on the table, and immediately his eyes fell to said cup, hands flying towards it to keep it from spilling the tea over the table- gods that was stressful.

The moment the emperor got in his space, James wished he was a turtle so he could hide inside a shell or something- he pressed himself to the back of the chair, smiling nervously. "That- that's true, yeah... I'm uh.. glad? That you like your job?"

Gods help him.

[the-great-emperor-commodus]

[he laughs and pats james on the shoulder roughly]

oh man,this is what i mean, you're fun

[well,that and this was quite frankly getting a little too close to uncomfortable territory for a married man to be in,but that's not terribly important for him to know]

I'm just fucking with you,relax!

[not-so-retired-farmer]

"Gods-" A small sound escaped him at the contact, he couldn't say he wasn't scared for his safety and his son's right now- his body tensed the moment Commodus made contact with him. "Thank you-?"

How is a man to react to something like this? He's not quite sure this is a... universal experience. It wasn't common at all, probably. Relax? How could he? He couldn't help the stress that came with talking to this man, and the absolutely reckless decisions thet led to this. "Ahem- anyway- uh, is there... any reason you brought me inside...?" Jesus lord or Zeus or whoever the fuck is listening save him..

[the-great-emperor-commodus]

Commodus could be minding his own business, honestly doing whatever it is that he does- going about his day, when he heard a knock on the front door.

...was he expecting any visitors?

@not-so-retired-farmer

[he grumbled under his breath and went to get the door, probably the kids Having friends over..

he freezes for a second when he opens it]

OH- well that's a surprise,hello?

[not-so-retired-farmer]

"Hello-" Oh gods, why was he here? Couldn't he figure this stuff out on his own? Why did he think this was a good idea?

"...if. If one was going to get an apology gift for a harpy. How would one go about it. Hypothetically." Well, he did think Commodus was more knowledgeable than he was about this stuff, considering he hired those guys and it seemed like lived with them? So maybe that's why James was here, he figured he'd ask someone who knows more.

[the-great-emperor-commodus]

[it takes him a minute to realize what James is talking about]

oh now that's just precious, don't worry about it,part of the job,yeah?

[ an idea strikes his as he talks,and he considers his options for a moment,is he really THIS desperate to talk to the guy..?

yes he is.]

but since you're already here,come in for a momen.

[not-so-retired-farmer]

"No but I feel really bad- ah, you know what, I'll figure it out myself.." He decided he shouldn't really poke the bear, especially since he knew he couldn't really count on his strength in situations like these- Commodus was very clearly stronger than him.

He was about to leave when the emperor told him to come into the palace. Oh gods- yeah, he probably shouldn't have come here in the first place. He thought of a good way to recover, to leave. "Oh- oh, I... really shouldn't..."

[the-great-emperor-commodus]

[good gods up on Olympus he feels like he's loosing his mind when he hears that,its just so endearing,he can't resist the smile forming on his face]

adorable.

[well shit,not the best thought to voice,time to hard pivot.]

oh that wasn't a question. now come in, I'll make tea,yeah?

[not-so-retired-farmer]

"Wh-" James couldn't help the little confused noise at the comment, what was that supposed to mean?? He probably didn't want to know, but he still was confused about it.

He rubbed the top of his hand with his other hand nervously before stepping inside, gods this was stressful. He never should've come here. "...alright."

[the-great-emperor-commodus]

[the reaction doesn't help,still adorable,and it still made him lose his mind a little bit.

he sighs and leads him into the proverbial lion's den,one hand on his shoulder with a grip of he hopes normal strength.]

alright come along now..

[he isn't even sure what he's doing anymore, this is just pathetic,why was THIS his type??]

[not-so-retired-farmer]

Even if Commodus was holding his shoulder with regular strength, to James it still felt like an iron grip and added a lot of tension to this entire thing. He didn't know what he wanted from him, and he wasn't sure he wanted to find out, especially after that deal he struck with him last time in order to not die.

"Did- did you need something?" He'd ask, his voice a bit quiet, he didn't know what would anger the man.

[the-great-emperor-commodus]

[oh god the way this man reacted did something for him, he felt the urge to keep pressing,see how far he could get...

exercising insane amounts of self control he sits the man down in the kitchen,and gets to making tea]

a couple of things,but that's neither here nor there, can't a man talk to one of his favorite mortals?

[not-so-retired-farmer]

"I-" He wasn't sure whether to feel relief or fear when Commodus said that, wasn't sure whether that meant he was safe and wouldn't be killed or that he was entertaining to play with. Regardless, he decided to keep respectful, just in case he wasn't safe around this man.

"I mean-" He cleared his throat, trying to find the right words that wouldn't get him killed. "I didn't think I was one of those-?"

[the-great-emperor-commodus]

[he sets a cup of black tea on the table before james, and leans on the table, drinking his own, they seem to have little cat decals]

oh? the fact you're not dead yet should be proof enough,no?

[he sips his tea]

besides you're fun.

[not-so-retired-farmer]

"Right-" He guessed that was true, after all it was a miracle he was still alive after he picked a fight with that man. He stared at the tea for a moment as if it could be poisoned, but grabbed the cup carefully and took in its scent before taking a sip.

"Oh, I wouldn't say that about myself... I'm just some average guy, you know?" He held the cup with both hands, as he always liked to do when holding warm stuff, as he added, "But, uh, if you want to think that, I can't really stop you-"

[the-great-emperor-commodus]

[he watched the man carefully,not for any paranoia reasons,but because he was genuinely a sight to behold, every bit of him driving the emperor ever so slightly crazier.

and well.. other things as well,ones he didn't want to pay much mind to. it was one thing to be horny for the man but the kind of emotions he was holding back were both much more serious and harder to eventually explain to his husband..]

damn right you can't.

[he shoots back automatically,the snark and confidence at least keeping the setting somewhat normal..]

how's the kid, anyways?

[not-so-retired-farmer]

He blew on top of the cup, an old habit he's never quite bothered to get rid of, laughing awkwardly at the comment, thinking he could just... try to act normal, try not to get on Commodus's bad side or anything like that- he didn't know when he'd stop 'being fun' to him.

"Hm?" He.. didn't really expect the emperor to ask about his son. He didn't think this man cared much, honestly, he wouldn't be surprised if he was simply asking because of some underlying malicious intent, but he couldn't really deny him an answer. "Oh, he's... getting better I'd say. Still scared, but.. he's adjusting."

[the-great-emperor-commodus]

[he stays quiet for a bit, unexplained fondness blooming in his chest,he does his best to beat it down completely. shifting uncomfortably]

that's good..kids can be difficult.

[he sighs, thinking back to his early attempts at parenting]

worth the trouble in the end though.

[not-so-retired-farmer]

"I... wouldn't say he's being difficult. See, the garden is sort of.. his safe space. He the son of the god of farming, and for some reason that means he gets tummyaches when he's not on fertile soil." He didn't really know why he was expalining this to him, the words just... came out naturally, as if he was just having a regular conversation with a regular person.

He sighed, sipping his tea before continuing, "so.. yeah, it kind of sucks he got scared out of going there for a while, and I really didn't want to have to give him pain medicine every single day, so we settled on supervised garden time until he feels good enough to be there on his own again."

[the-great-emperor-commodus]

[hes...not sure what to say,he can't exactly help the situation out,can he? really it's his fault in the first place,and he doubts james would appreciate any attempt at help, much less if he suspected it didn't come from a genuine place.

that just left him scrambling for some comforting nicety, something to say just to ease the tension.]

that's uh.... that's gotta suck.

[and this is why he keeps out of politics.]

i mean, you're doing well?

[not-so-retired-farmer]

"Eh.. it had to happen at one point, right?" He tried to laugh it off, because what else is he supposed to do in a situation such as this one? "With him being a demigod and all... something bad was bound to happen."

He set the cup on the table, keeping his hands around it for warmth as he looked up at Commodus, "I'm doing alright, yeah. Just... workin' and stuff, you know?"

[the-great-emperor-commodus]

... guess so

[it did, didn't it? no matter how hard you try you can't keep them from harm forever...]

ugh, what could you expect, fault of the godly bastards if you ask me,spawn a thousand kids, putting targets on thier backs,and don't even bother, apathetic bunch of-

[he takes a deep breath, centring himself again, taking a long look at james when he speaks again]

clearly not hard enough if you're bothering with Delilah of all people- uh, creatures? you know what i mean.

[not-so-retired-farmer]

"Oh, I mean-" Yeah, he knew it was mostly the gods' fault- never showing up for their kids, never protecting them aside from maybe a small gift when they're conceived or born. Honestly, he felt grateful he even got anything, let alone a plant that could help heal his son in weird magical ways that he didn't understand. "I guess, yeah?"

He resisted the urge to laugh at the last comment- no, don't do that, that might be a wrong move. He might kill you for that. "I get a lot of alone time on the road. Time to.. think." He paused for a moment, "But, uh, enough about me. I'm.. sure you've been busy?"

[the-great-emperor-commodus]

yeah that's just- ignore that, there's history there.

[he debates with himself for a bit]

i mean i stand by it, but not to unload my most vitriolic of hatred into a decent conversation.

[he frowns,he wanted to hear more about the man, preferably everything there was to know]

well about as busy as a general without an enemy can be,the troops are there in tiptop shape and standing aimlessly without orders, it's just tragic is what it is.

[not-so-retired-farmer]

"...sure?" Gods, he hated saying 'I' so much. Or 'me'. Or whatever other stuff that refers to himself is. He didn't like constantly talking about himself, it felt odd, out of place. "Not going to ask."

He had no clue whether he was handling this well, didn't know whether he was on the right track to saving himself or not. He sucked some air in through his teeth awkwardly. "Ahh, um, that sounds... peaceful?" He didn't exactly... see anything wrong with there not being any fighting to do, in fact, shouldn't that be a good thing?

[the-great-emperor-commodus]

[he groans,every bit the bloodshed loving manchild history knew and hated]

peace is boring,makes you weak and complacent,if you don't push men to actually experience the battlefield they start getting ideas!

[he taps his foot]

that and they do need to eat every now and then... gonna have to figure something out soon, they're getting antsy.

[not-so-retired-farmer]

He was definitely NOT informed enough to argue about this, even if he thought peace was... kind of the goal. Maybe it was just the uh... times the both of them grew up in, that made them have different mindsets. Either way, he didn't want to end up dead, so he didn't argue.

"Ah-" He stared at Commodus for a moment when he heard that. This man commanded an army of... creatures. Not people, anyway. And those, and he knew that from experience, eat demigods. "R-right. I suppose they do..."

...He was honestly scared this was all a lure to make him bring his son there for the man's army to eat.

[the-great-emperor-commodus]

[he blinks at him]

how do you manage to forget that?

[judging by how scared the guy sounded maybe it wasn't the best idea to remind him...oh well, he'd get over it,, hopefully.

he leans into his space just a little,to really get his point across and for no other reason at all]

look,i could lie to you and say i don't like what i do,but that'd just be mean, wouldn't it?

[not-so-retired-farmer]

"No- No, I haven't forgotten, just... ah, whatever. It's not important." He raised his hands defensively, nearly knocking over the cup that was on the table, and immediately his eyes fell to said cup, hands flying towards it to keep it from spilling the tea over the table- gods that was stressful.

The moment the emperor got in his space, James wished he was a turtle so he could hide inside a shell or something- he pressed himself to the back of the chair, smiling nervously. "That- that's true, yeah... I'm uh.. glad? That you like your job?"

Gods help him.

[the-great-emperor-commodus]

Commodus could be minding his own business, honestly doing whatever it is that he does- going about his day, when he heard a knock on the front door.

...was he expecting any visitors?

@not-so-retired-farmer

[he grumbled under his breath and went to get the door, probably the kids Having friends over..

he freezes for a second when he opens it]

OH- well that's a surprise,hello?

[not-so-retired-farmer]

"Hello-" Oh gods, why was he here? Couldn't he figure this stuff out on his own? Why did he think this was a good idea?

"...if. If one was going to get an apology gift for a harpy. How would one go about it. Hypothetically." Well, he did think Commodus was more knowledgeable than he was about this stuff, considering he hired those guys and it seemed like lived with them? So maybe that's why James was here, he figured he'd ask someone who knows more.

[the-great-emperor-commodus]

[it takes him a minute to realize what James is talking about]

oh now that's just precious, don't worry about it,part of the job,yeah?

[ an idea strikes his as he talks,and he considers his options for a moment,is he really THIS desperate to talk to the guy..?

yes he is.]

but since you're already here,come in for a momen.

[not-so-retired-farmer]

"No but I feel really bad- ah, you know what, I'll figure it out myself.." He decided he shouldn't really poke the bear, especially since he knew he couldn't really count on his strength in situations like these- Commodus was very clearly stronger than him.

He was about to leave when the emperor told him to come into the palace. Oh gods- yeah, he probably shouldn't have come here in the first place. He thought of a good way to recover, to leave. "Oh- oh, I... really shouldn't..."

[the-great-emperor-commodus]

[good gods up on Olympus he feels like he's loosing his mind when he hears that,its just so endearing,he can't resist the smile forming on his face]

adorable.

[well shit,not the best thought to voice,time to hard pivot.]

oh that wasn't a question. now come in, I'll make tea,yeah?

[not-so-retired-farmer]

"Wh-" James couldn't help the little confused noise at the comment, what was that supposed to mean?? He probably didn't want to know, but he still was confused about it.

He rubbed the top of his hand with his other hand nervously before stepping inside, gods this was stressful. He never should've come here. "...alright."

[the-great-emperor-commodus]

[the reaction doesn't help,still adorable,and it still made him lose his mind a little bit.

he sighs and leads him into the proverbial lion's den,one hand on his shoulder with a grip of he hopes normal strength.]

alright come along now..

[he isn't even sure what he's doing anymore, this is just pathetic,why was THIS his type??]

[not-so-retired-farmer]

Even if Commodus was holding his shoulder with regular strength, to James it still felt like an iron grip and added a lot of tension to this entire thing. He didn't know what he wanted from him, and he wasn't sure he wanted to find out, especially after that deal he struck with him last time in order to not die.

"Did- did you need something?" He'd ask, his voice a bit quiet, he didn't know what would anger the man.

[the-great-emperor-commodus]

[oh god the way this man reacted did something for him, he felt the urge to keep pressing,see how far he could get...

exercising insane amounts of self control he sits the man down in the kitchen,and gets to making tea]

a couple of things,but that's neither here nor there, can't a man talk to one of his favorite mortals?

[not-so-retired-farmer]

"I-" He wasn't sure whether to feel relief or fear when Commodus said that, wasn't sure whether that meant he was safe and wouldn't be killed or that he was entertaining to play with. Regardless, he decided to keep respectful, just in case he wasn't safe around this man.

"I mean-" He cleared his throat, trying to find the right words that wouldn't get him killed. "I didn't think I was one of those-?"

[the-great-emperor-commodus]

[he sets a cup of black tea on the table before james, and leans on the table, drinking his own, they seem to have little cat decals]

oh? the fact you're not dead yet should be proof enough,no?

[he sips his tea]

besides you're fun.

[not-so-retired-farmer]

"Right-" He guessed that was true, after all it was a miracle he was still alive after he picked a fight with that man. He stared at the tea for a moment as if it could be poisoned, but grabbed the cup carefully and took in its scent before taking a sip.

"Oh, I wouldn't say that about myself... I'm just some average guy, you know?" He held the cup with both hands, as he always liked to do when holding warm stuff, as he added, "But, uh, if you want to think that, I can't really stop you-"

[the-great-emperor-commodus]

[he watched the man carefully,not for any paranoia reasons,but because he was genuinely a sight to behold, every bit of him driving the emperor ever so slightly crazier.

and well.. other things as well,ones he didn't want to pay much mind to. it was one thing to be horny for the man but the kind of emotions he was holding back were both much more serious and harder to eventually explain to his husband..]

damn right you can't.

[he shoots back automatically,the snark and confidence at least keeping the setting somewhat normal..]

how's the kid, anyways?

[not-so-retired-farmer]

He blew on top of the cup, an old habit he's never quite bothered to get rid of, laughing awkwardly at the comment, thinking he could just... try to act normal, try not to get on Commodus's bad side or anything like that- he didn't know when he'd stop 'being fun' to him.

"Hm?" He.. didn't really expect the emperor to ask about his son. He didn't think this man cared much, honestly, he wouldn't be surprised if he was simply asking because of some underlying malicious intent, but he couldn't really deny him an answer. "Oh, he's... getting better I'd say. Still scared, but.. he's adjusting."

[the-great-emperor-commodus]

[he stays quiet for a bit, unexplained fondness blooming in his chest,he does his best to beat it down completely. shifting uncomfortably]

that's good..kids can be difficult.

[he sighs, thinking back to his early attempts at parenting]

worth the trouble in the end though.

[not-so-retired-farmer]

"I... wouldn't say he's being difficult. See, the garden is sort of.. his safe space. He the son of the god of farming, and for some reason that means he gets tummyaches when he's not on fertile soil." He didn't really know why he was expalining this to him, the words just... came out naturally, as if he was just having a regular conversation with a regular person.

He sighed, sipping his tea before continuing, "so.. yeah, it kind of sucks he got scared out of going there for a while, and I really didn't want to have to give him pain medicine every single day, so we settled on supervised garden time until he feels good enough to be there on his own again."

[the-great-emperor-commodus]

[hes...not sure what to say,he can't exactly help the situation out,can he? really it's his fault in the first place,and he doubts james would appreciate any attempt at help, much less if he suspected it didn't come from a genuine place.

that just left him scrambling for some comforting nicety, something to say just to ease the tension.]

that's uh.... that's gotta suck.

[and this is why he keeps out of politics.]

i mean, you're doing well?

[not-so-retired-farmer]

"Eh.. it had to happen at one point, right?" He tried to laugh it off, because what else is he supposed to do in a situation such as this one? "With him being a demigod and all... something bad was bound to happen."

He set the cup on the table, keeping his hands around it for warmth as he looked up at Commodus, "I'm doing alright, yeah. Just... workin' and stuff, you know?"

[the-great-emperor-commodus]

... guess so

[it did, didn't it? no matter how hard you try you can't keep them from harm forever...]

ugh, what could you expect, fault of the godly bastards if you ask me,spawn a thousand kids, putting targets on thier backs,and don't even bother, apathetic bunch of-

[he takes a deep breath, centring himself again, taking a long look at james when he speaks again]

clearly not hard enough if you're bothering with Delilah of all people- uh, creatures? you know what i mean.

[not-so-retired-farmer]

"Oh, I mean-" Yeah, he knew it was mostly the gods' fault- never showing up for their kids, never protecting them aside from maybe a small gift when they're conceived or born. Honestly, he felt grateful he even got anything, let alone a plant that could help heal his son in weird magical ways that he didn't understand. "I guess, yeah?"

He resisted the urge to laugh at the last comment- no, don't do that, that might be a wrong move. He might kill you for that. "I get a lot of alone time on the road. Time to.. think." He paused for a moment, "But, uh, enough about me. I'm.. sure you've been busy?"

[the-great-emperor-commodus]

yeah that's just- ignore that, there's history there.

[he debates with himself for a bit]

i mean i stand by it, but not to unload my most vitriolic of hatred into a decent conversation.

[he frowns,he wanted to hear more about the man, preferably everything there was to know]

well about as busy as a general without an enemy can be,the troops are there in tiptop shape and standing aimlessly without orders, it's just tragic is what it is.

[not-so-retired-farmer]

"...sure?" Gods, he hated saying 'I' so much. Or 'me'. Or whatever other stuff that refers to himself is. He didn't like constantly talking about himself, it felt odd, out of place. "Not going to ask."

He had no clue whether he was handling this well, didn't know whether he was on the right track to saving himself or not. He sucked some air in through his teeth awkwardly. "Ahh, um, that sounds... peaceful?" He didn't exactly... see anything wrong with there not being any fighting to do, in fact, shouldn't that be a good thing?

[the-great-emperor-commodus]

[he groans,every bit the bloodshed loving manchild history knew and hated]

peace is boring,makes you weak and complacent,if you don't push men to actually experience the battlefield they start getting ideas!

[he taps his foot]

that and they do need to eat every now and then... gonna have to figure something out soon, they're getting antsy.

[not-so-retired-farmer]

He was definitely NOT informed enough to argue about this, even if he thought peace was... kind of the goal. Maybe it was just the uh... times the both of them grew up in, that made them have different mindsets. Either way, he didn't want to end up dead, so he didn't argue.

"Ah-" He stared at Commodus for a moment when he heard that. This man commanded an army of... creatures. Not people, anyway. And those, and he knew that from experience, eat demigods. "R-right. I suppose they do..."

...He was honestly scared this was all a lure to make him bring his son there for the man's army to eat.

[the-great-emperor-commodus]

Commodus could be minding his own business, honestly doing whatever it is that he does- going about his day, when he heard a knock on the front door.

...was he expecting any visitors?

@not-so-retired-farmer

[he grumbled under his breath and went to get the door, probably the kids Having friends over..

he freezes for a second when he opens it]

OH- well that's a surprise,hello?

[not-so-retired-farmer]

"Hello-" Oh gods, why was he here? Couldn't he figure this stuff out on his own? Why did he think this was a good idea?

"...if. If one was going to get an apology gift for a harpy. How would one go about it. Hypothetically." Well, he did think Commodus was more knowledgeable than he was about this stuff, considering he hired those guys and it seemed like lived with them? So maybe that's why James was here, he figured he'd ask someone who knows more.

[the-great-emperor-commodus]

[it takes him a minute to realize what James is talking about]

oh now that's just precious, don't worry about it,part of the job,yeah?

[ an idea strikes his as he talks,and he considers his options for a moment,is he really THIS desperate to talk to the guy..?

yes he is.]

but since you're already here,come in for a momen.

[not-so-retired-farmer]

"No but I feel really bad- ah, you know what, I'll figure it out myself.." He decided he shouldn't really poke the bear, especially since he knew he couldn't really count on his strength in situations like these- Commodus was very clearly stronger than him.

He was about to leave when the emperor told him to come into the palace. Oh gods- yeah, he probably shouldn't have come here in the first place. He thought of a good way to recover, to leave. "Oh- oh, I... really shouldn't..."

[the-great-emperor-commodus]

[good gods up on Olympus he feels like he's loosing his mind when he hears that,its just so endearing,he can't resist the smile forming on his face]

adorable.

[well shit,not the best thought to voice,time to hard pivot.]

oh that wasn't a question. now come in, I'll make tea,yeah?

[not-so-retired-farmer]

"Wh-" James couldn't help the little confused noise at the comment, what was that supposed to mean?? He probably didn't want to know, but he still was confused about it.

He rubbed the top of his hand with his other hand nervously before stepping inside, gods this was stressful. He never should've come here. "...alright."

[the-great-emperor-commodus]

[the reaction doesn't help,still adorable,and it still made him lose his mind a little bit.

he sighs and leads him into the proverbial lion's den,one hand on his shoulder with a grip of he hopes normal strength.]

alright come along now..

[he isn't even sure what he's doing anymore, this is just pathetic,why was THIS his type??]

[not-so-retired-farmer]

Even if Commodus was holding his shoulder with regular strength, to James it still felt like an iron grip and added a lot of tension to this entire thing. He didn't know what he wanted from him, and he wasn't sure he wanted to find out, especially after that deal he struck with him last time in order to not die.

"Did- did you need something?" He'd ask, his voice a bit quiet, he didn't know what would anger the man.

[the-great-emperor-commodus]

[oh god the way this man reacted did something for him, he felt the urge to keep pressing,see how far he could get...

exercising insane amounts of self control he sits the man down in the kitchen,and gets to making tea]

a couple of things,but that's neither here nor there, can't a man talk to one of his favorite mortals?

[not-so-retired-farmer]

"I-" He wasn't sure whether to feel relief or fear when Commodus said that, wasn't sure whether that meant he was safe and wouldn't be killed or that he was entertaining to play with. Regardless, he decided to keep respectful, just in case he wasn't safe around this man.

"I mean-" He cleared his throat, trying to find the right words that wouldn't get him killed. "I didn't think I was one of those-?"

[the-great-emperor-commodus]

[he sets a cup of black tea on the table before james, and leans on the table, drinking his own, they seem to have little cat decals]

oh? the fact you're not dead yet should be proof enough,no?

[he sips his tea]

besides you're fun.

[not-so-retired-farmer]

"Right-" He guessed that was true, after all it was a miracle he was still alive after he picked a fight with that man. He stared at the tea for a moment as if it could be poisoned, but grabbed the cup carefully and took in its scent before taking a sip.

"Oh, I wouldn't say that about myself... I'm just some average guy, you know?" He held the cup with both hands, as he always liked to do when holding warm stuff, as he added, "But, uh, if you want to think that, I can't really stop you-"

[the-great-emperor-commodus]

[he watched the man carefully,not for any paranoia reasons,but because he was genuinely a sight to behold, every bit of him driving the emperor ever so slightly crazier.

and well.. other things as well,ones he didn't want to pay much mind to. it was one thing to be horny for the man but the kind of emotions he was holding back were both much more serious and harder to eventually explain to his husband..]

damn right you can't.

[he shoots back automatically,the snark and confidence at least keeping the setting somewhat normal..]

how's the kid, anyways?

[not-so-retired-farmer]

He blew on top of the cup, an old habit he's never quite bothered to get rid of, laughing awkwardly at the comment, thinking he could just... try to act normal, try not to get on Commodus's bad side or anything like that- he didn't know when he'd stop 'being fun' to him.

"Hm?" He.. didn't really expect the emperor to ask about his son. He didn't think this man cared much, honestly, he wouldn't be surprised if he was simply asking because of some underlying malicious intent, but he couldn't really deny him an answer. "Oh, he's... getting better I'd say. Still scared, but.. he's adjusting."

[the-great-emperor-commodus]

[he stays quiet for a bit, unexplained fondness blooming in his chest,he does his best to beat it down completely. shifting uncomfortably]

that's good..kids can be difficult.

[he sighs, thinking back to his early attempts at parenting]

worth the trouble in the end though.

[not-so-retired-farmer]

"I... wouldn't say he's being difficult. See, the garden is sort of.. his safe space. He the son of the god of farming, and for some reason that means he gets tummyaches when he's not on fertile soil." He didn't really know why he was expalining this to him, the words just... came out naturally, as if he was just having a regular conversation with a regular person.

He sighed, sipping his tea before continuing, "so.. yeah, it kind of sucks he got scared out of going there for a while, and I really didn't want to have to give him pain medicine every single day, so we settled on supervised garden time until he feels good enough to be there on his own again."

[the-great-emperor-commodus]

[hes...not sure what to say,he can't exactly help the situation out,can he? really it's his fault in the first place,and he doubts james would appreciate any attempt at help, much less if he suspected it didn't come from a genuine place.

that just left him scrambling for some comforting nicety, something to say just to ease the tension.]

that's uh.... that's gotta suck.

[and this is why he keeps out of politics.]

i mean, you're doing well?

[not-so-retired-farmer]

"Eh.. it had to happen at one point, right?" He tried to laugh it off, because what else is he supposed to do in a situation such as this one? "With him being a demigod and all... something bad was bound to happen."

He set the cup on the table, keeping his hands around it for warmth as he looked up at Commodus, "I'm doing alright, yeah. Just... workin' and stuff, you know?"

[the-great-emperor-commodus]

... guess so

[it did, didn't it? no matter how hard you try you can't keep them from harm forever...]

ugh, what could you expect, fault of the godly bastards if you ask me,spawn a thousand kids, putting targets on thier backs,and don't even bother, apathetic bunch of-

[he takes a deep breath, centring himself again, taking a long look at james when he speaks again]

clearly not hard enough if you're bothering with Delilah of all people- uh, creatures? you know what i mean.

[not-so-retired-farmer]

"Oh, I mean-" Yeah, he knew it was mostly the gods' fault- never showing up for their kids, never protecting them aside from maybe a small gift when they're conceived or born. Honestly, he felt grateful he even got anything, let alone a plant that could help heal his son in weird magical ways that he didn't understand. "I guess, yeah?"

He resisted the urge to laugh at the last comment- no, don't do that, that might be a wrong move. He might kill you for that. "I get a lot of alone time on the road. Time to.. think." He paused for a moment, "But, uh, enough about me. I'm.. sure you've been busy?"

[the-great-emperor-commodus]

yeah that's just- ignore that, there's history there.

[he debates with himself for a bit]

i mean i stand by it, but not to unload my most vitriolic of hatred into a decent conversation.

[he frowns,he wanted to hear more about the man, preferably everything there was to know]

well about as busy as a general without an enemy can be,the troops are there in tiptop shape and standing aimlessly without orders, it's just tragic is what it is.

[not-so-retired-farmer]

"...sure?" Gods, he hated saying 'I' so much. Or 'me'. Or whatever other stuff that refers to himself is. He didn't like constantly talking about himself, it felt odd, out of place. "Not going to ask."

He had no clue whether he was handling this well, didn't know whether he was on the right track to saving himself or not. He sucked some air in through his teeth awkwardly. "Ahh, um, that sounds... peaceful?" He didn't exactly... see anything wrong with there not being any fighting to do, in fact, shouldn't that be a good thing?

[the-great-emperor-commodus]

Commodus could be minding his own business, honestly doing whatever it is that he does- going about his day, when he heard a knock on the front door.

...was he expecting any visitors?

@not-so-retired-farmer

[he grumbled under his breath and went to get the door, probably the kids Having friends over..

he freezes for a second when he opens it]

OH- well that's a surprise,hello?

[not-so-retired-farmer]

"Hello-" Oh gods, why was he here? Couldn't he figure this stuff out on his own? Why did he think this was a good idea?

"...if. If one was going to get an apology gift for a harpy. How would one go about it. Hypothetically." Well, he did think Commodus was more knowledgeable than he was about this stuff, considering he hired those guys and it seemed like lived with them? So maybe that's why James was here, he figured he'd ask someone who knows more.

[the-great-emperor-commodus]

[it takes him a minute to realize what James is talking about]

oh now that's just precious, don't worry about it,part of the job,yeah?

[ an idea strikes his as he talks,and he considers his options for a moment,is he really THIS desperate to talk to the guy..?

yes he is.]

but since you're already here,come in for a momen.

[not-so-retired-farmer]

"No but I feel really bad- ah, you know what, I'll figure it out myself.." He decided he shouldn't really poke the bear, especially since he knew he couldn't really count on his strength in situations like these- Commodus was very clearly stronger than him.

He was about to leave when the emperor told him to come into the palace. Oh gods- yeah, he probably shouldn't have come here in the first place. He thought of a good way to recover, to leave. "Oh- oh, I... really shouldn't..."

[the-great-emperor-commodus]

[good gods up on Olympus he feels like he's loosing his mind when he hears that,its just so endearing,he can't resist the smile forming on his face]

adorable.

[well shit,not the best thought to voice,time to hard pivot.]

oh that wasn't a question. now come in, I'll make tea,yeah?

[not-so-retired-farmer]

"Wh-" James couldn't help the little confused noise at the comment, what was that supposed to mean?? He probably didn't want to know, but he still was confused about it.

He rubbed the top of his hand with his other hand nervously before stepping inside, gods this was stressful. He never should've come here. "...alright."

[the-great-emperor-commodus]

[the reaction doesn't help,still adorable,and it still made him lose his mind a little bit.

he sighs and leads him into the proverbial lion's den,one hand on his shoulder with a grip of he hopes normal strength.]

alright come along now..

[he isn't even sure what he's doing anymore, this is just pathetic,why was THIS his type??]

[not-so-retired-farmer]

Even if Commodus was holding his shoulder with regular strength, to James it still felt like an iron grip and added a lot of tension to this entire thing. He didn't know what he wanted from him, and he wasn't sure he wanted to find out, especially after that deal he struck with him last time in order to not die.

"Did- did you need something?" He'd ask, his voice a bit quiet, he didn't know what would anger the man.

[the-great-emperor-commodus]

[oh god the way this man reacted did something for him, he felt the urge to keep pressing,see how far he could get...

exercising insane amounts of self control he sits the man down in the kitchen,and gets to making tea]

a couple of things,but that's neither here nor there, can't a man talk to one of his favorite mortals?

[not-so-retired-farmer]

"I-" He wasn't sure whether to feel relief or fear when Commodus said that, wasn't sure whether that meant he was safe and wouldn't be killed or that he was entertaining to play with. Regardless, he decided to keep respectful, just in case he wasn't safe around this man.

"I mean-" He cleared his throat, trying to find the right words that wouldn't get him killed. "I didn't think I was one of those-?"

[the-great-emperor-commodus]

[he sets a cup of black tea on the table before james, and leans on the table, drinking his own, they seem to have little cat decals]

oh? the fact you're not dead yet should be proof enough,no?

[he sips his tea]

besides you're fun.

[not-so-retired-farmer]

"Right-" He guessed that was true, after all it was a miracle he was still alive after he picked a fight with that man. He stared at the tea for a moment as if it could be poisoned, but grabbed the cup carefully and took in its scent before taking a sip.

"Oh, I wouldn't say that about myself... I'm just some average guy, you know?" He held the cup with both hands, as he always liked to do when holding warm stuff, as he added, "But, uh, if you want to think that, I can't really stop you-"

[the-great-emperor-commodus]

[he watched the man carefully,not for any paranoia reasons,but because he was genuinely a sight to behold, every bit of him driving the emperor ever so slightly crazier.

and well.. other things as well,ones he didn't want to pay much mind to. it was one thing to be horny for the man but the kind of emotions he was holding back were both much more serious and harder to eventually explain to his husband..]

damn right you can't.

[he shoots back automatically,the snark and confidence at least keeping the setting somewhat normal..]

how's the kid, anyways?

[not-so-retired-farmer]

He blew on top of the cup, an old habit he's never quite bothered to get rid of, laughing awkwardly at the comment, thinking he could just... try to act normal, try not to get on Commodus's bad side or anything like that- he didn't know when he'd stop 'being fun' to him.

"Hm?" He.. didn't really expect the emperor to ask about his son. He didn't think this man cared much, honestly, he wouldn't be surprised if he was simply asking because of some underlying malicious intent, but he couldn't really deny him an answer. "Oh, he's... getting better I'd say. Still scared, but.. he's adjusting."

[the-great-emperor-commodus]

[he stays quiet for a bit, unexplained fondness blooming in his chest,he does his best to beat it down completely. shifting uncomfortably]

that's good..kids can be difficult.

[he sighs, thinking back to his early attempts at parenting]

worth the trouble in the end though.

[not-so-retired-farmer]

"I... wouldn't say he's being difficult. See, the garden is sort of.. his safe space. He the son of the god of farming, and for some reason that means he gets tummyaches when he's not on fertile soil." He didn't really know why he was expalining this to him, the words just... came out naturally, as if he was just having a regular conversation with a regular person.

He sighed, sipping his tea before continuing, "so.. yeah, it kind of sucks he got scared out of going there for a while, and I really didn't want to have to give him pain medicine every single day, so we settled on supervised garden time until he feels good enough to be there on his own again."

[the-great-emperor-commodus]

[hes...not sure what to say,he can't exactly help the situation out,can he? really it's his fault in the first place,and he doubts james would appreciate any attempt at help, much less if he suspected it didn't come from a genuine place.

that just left him scrambling for some comforting nicety, something to say just to ease the tension.]

that's uh.... that's gotta suck.

[and this is why he keeps out of politics.]

i mean, you're doing well?

[not-so-retired-farmer]

"Eh.. it had to happen at one point, right?" He tried to laugh it off, because what else is he supposed to do in a situation such as this one? "With him being a demigod and all... something bad was bound to happen."

He set the cup on the table, keeping his hands around it for warmth as he looked up at Commodus, "I'm doing alright, yeah. Just... workin' and stuff, you know?"

[the-great-emperor-commodus]

... guess so

[it did, didn't it? no matter how hard you try you can't keep them from harm forever...]

ugh, what could you expect, fault of the godly bastards if you ask me,spawn a thousand kids, putting targets on thier backs,and don't even bother, apathetic bunch of-

[he takes a deep breath, centring himself again, taking a long look at james when he speaks again]

clearly not hard enough if you're bothering with Delilah of all people- uh, creatures? you know what i mean.

[not-so-retired-farmer]

"Oh, I mean-" Yeah, he knew it was mostly the gods' fault- never showing up for their kids, never protecting them aside from maybe a small gift when they're conceived or born. Honestly, he felt grateful he even got anything, let alone a plant that could help heal his son in weird magical ways that he didn't understand. "I guess, yeah?"

He resisted the urge to laugh at the last comment- no, don't do that, that might be a wrong move. He might kill you for that. "I get a lot of alone time on the road. Time to.. think." He paused for a moment, "But, uh, enough about me. I'm.. sure you've been busy?"

[the-great-emperor-commodus]

Commodus could be minding his own business, honestly doing whatever it is that he does- going about his day, when he heard a knock on the front door.

...was he expecting any visitors?

@not-so-retired-farmer

[he grumbled under his breath and went to get the door, probably the kids Having friends over..

he freezes for a second when he opens it]

OH- well that's a surprise,hello?

[not-so-retired-farmer]

"Hello-" Oh gods, why was he here? Couldn't he figure this stuff out on his own? Why did he think this was a good idea?

"...if. If one was going to get an apology gift for a harpy. How would one go about it. Hypothetically." Well, he did think Commodus was more knowledgeable than he was about this stuff, considering he hired those guys and it seemed like lived with them? So maybe that's why James was here, he figured he'd ask someone who knows more.

[the-great-emperor-commodus]

[it takes him a minute to realize what James is talking about]

oh now that's just precious, don't worry about it,part of the job,yeah?

[ an idea strikes his as he talks,and he considers his options for a moment,is he really THIS desperate to talk to the guy..?

yes he is.]

but since you're already here,come in for a momen.

[not-so-retired-farmer]

"No but I feel really bad- ah, you know what, I'll figure it out myself.." He decided he shouldn't really poke the bear, especially since he knew he couldn't really count on his strength in situations like these- Commodus was very clearly stronger than him.

He was about to leave when the emperor told him to come into the palace. Oh gods- yeah, he probably shouldn't have come here in the first place. He thought of a good way to recover, to leave. "Oh- oh, I... really shouldn't..."

[the-great-emperor-commodus]

[good gods up on Olympus he feels like he's loosing his mind when he hears that,its just so endearing,he can't resist the smile forming on his face]

adorable.

[well shit,not the best thought to voice,time to hard pivot.]

oh that wasn't a question. now come in, I'll make tea,yeah?

[not-so-retired-farmer]

"Wh-" James couldn't help the little confused noise at the comment, what was that supposed to mean?? He probably didn't want to know, but he still was confused about it.

He rubbed the top of his hand with his other hand nervously before stepping inside, gods this was stressful. He never should've come here. "...alright."

[the-great-emperor-commodus]

[the reaction doesn't help,still adorable,and it still made him lose his mind a little bit.

he sighs and leads him into the proverbial lion's den,one hand on his shoulder with a grip of he hopes normal strength.]

alright come along now..

[he isn't even sure what he's doing anymore, this is just pathetic,why was THIS his type??]

[not-so-retired-farmer]

Even if Commodus was holding his shoulder with regular strength, to James it still felt like an iron grip and added a lot of tension to this entire thing. He didn't know what he wanted from him, and he wasn't sure he wanted to find out, especially after that deal he struck with him last time in order to not die.

"Did- did you need something?" He'd ask, his voice a bit quiet, he didn't know what would anger the man.

[the-great-emperor-commodus]

[oh god the way this man reacted did something for him, he felt the urge to keep pressing,see how far he could get...

exercising insane amounts of self control he sits the man down in the kitchen,and gets to making tea]

a couple of things,but that's neither here nor there, can't a man talk to one of his favorite mortals?

[not-so-retired-farmer]

"I-" He wasn't sure whether to feel relief or fear when Commodus said that, wasn't sure whether that meant he was safe and wouldn't be killed or that he was entertaining to play with. Regardless, he decided to keep respectful, just in case he wasn't safe around this man.

"I mean-" He cleared his throat, trying to find the right words that wouldn't get him killed. "I didn't think I was one of those-?"

[the-great-emperor-commodus]

[he sets a cup of black tea on the table before james, and leans on the table, drinking his own, they seem to have little cat decals]

oh? the fact you're not dead yet should be proof enough,no?

[he sips his tea]

besides you're fun.

[not-so-retired-farmer]

"Right-" He guessed that was true, after all it was a miracle he was still alive after he picked a fight with that man. He stared at the tea for a moment as if it could be poisoned, but grabbed the cup carefully and took in its scent before taking a sip.

"Oh, I wouldn't say that about myself... I'm just some average guy, you know?" He held the cup with both hands, as he always liked to do when holding warm stuff, as he added, "But, uh, if you want to think that, I can't really stop you-"

[the-great-emperor-commodus]

[he watched the man carefully,not for any paranoia reasons,but because he was genuinely a sight to behold, every bit of him driving the emperor ever so slightly crazier.

and well.. other things as well,ones he didn't want to pay much mind to. it was one thing to be horny for the man but the kind of emotions he was holding back were both much more serious and harder to eventually explain to his husband..]

damn right you can't.

[he shoots back automatically,the snark and confidence at least keeping the setting somewhat normal..]

how's the kid, anyways?

[not-so-retired-farmer]

He blew on top of the cup, an old habit he's never quite bothered to get rid of, laughing awkwardly at the comment, thinking he could just... try to act normal, try not to get on Commodus's bad side or anything like that- he didn't know when he'd stop 'being fun' to him.

"Hm?" He.. didn't really expect the emperor to ask about his son. He didn't think this man cared much, honestly, he wouldn't be surprised if he was simply asking because of some underlying malicious intent, but he couldn't really deny him an answer. "Oh, he's... getting better I'd say. Still scared, but.. he's adjusting."

[the-great-emperor-commodus]

[he stays quiet for a bit, unexplained fondness blooming in his chest,he does his best to beat it down completely. shifting uncomfortably]

that's good..kids can be difficult.

[he sighs, thinking back to his early attempts at parenting]

worth the trouble in the end though.

[not-so-retired-farmer]

"I... wouldn't say he's being difficult. See, the garden is sort of.. his safe space. He the son of the god of farming, and for some reason that means he gets tummyaches when he's not on fertile soil." He didn't really know why he was expalining this to him, the words just... came out naturally, as if he was just having a regular conversation with a regular person.

He sighed, sipping his tea before continuing, "so.. yeah, it kind of sucks he got scared out of going there for a while, and I really didn't want to have to give him pain medicine every single day, so we settled on supervised garden time until he feels good enough to be there on his own again."

[the-great-emperor-commodus]

[hes...not sure what to say,he can't exactly help the situation out,can he? really it's his fault in the first place,and he doubts james would appreciate any attempt at help, much less if he suspected it didn't come from a genuine place.

that just left him scrambling for some comforting nicety, something to say just to ease the tension.]

that's uh.... that's gotta suck.

[and this is why he keeps out of politics.]

i mean, you're doing well?

[not-so-retired-farmer]

"Eh.. it had to happen at one point, right?" He tried to laugh it off, because what else is he supposed to do in a situation such as this one? "With him being a demigod and all... something bad was bound to happen."

He set the cup on the table, keeping his hands around it for warmth as he looked up at Commodus, "I'm doing alright, yeah. Just... workin' and stuff, you know?"

[not-so-retired-farmer]

Kérídi has been getting used somewhat to the new environment over the past weeks, it still didn't speak much and has been refusing to sleep on anything but the floor, tho this morning it was wasn't in its usual sleeping spot or anywhere else James might've been finding them sleeping in the house

@just-an0ther-m0nster

James couldn't say he wasn't worried. Because he was- he had no clue where the kid could be, sure its never really communicated much but he could always tell where it was! He could always find it around the house, and now it wasn't there. It wasn't there and it made him worry. So, after searching the entire house, he went outside, calling Kérídi's name and looking around.

[just-an0ther-m0nster]

Well Kérídi wasn't in earshot right now, right now it's just wandering around in some cornfields, lost and maybe very slightly panicked as it couldn't find its way out

You should just sit down and wait until you starve.

But what if James is worried, I don't want to disappoint him...

You'd do him a favor. You don't deserve him. You don't deserve anything. Stay lost.

But- but-

Die.

It continues to wander around, it didn't know what those plants were, they looked weird...

[not-so-retired-farmer]

"Kiddo?! Kérídi?!" The man kept shouting, walking around his neighborhood, probably getting the attention of some neighbors, but still nothing.

Finally, after a while of this, he came across that cornfield, and figured that if he couldn't find Kérídi in the neighborhood he might as well check there. He walked between the plants and continued to call its name, sounding extremely worried.

[just-an0ther-m0nster]

Finally it heard him and huh... What is this feeling? It's glad to hear him... Without really realizing it forgot that its mask is still hidden somewhere in James' house it began to listen to his voice to find him, slowly following it

Pathetic. Looking for you. Doesn't he know how horrible you are?

It didn't even bother responding this time as it finally popped out in front of James, giving him for the first time ever a look at its face, it has scars all over it, its eyes are two different color, the left is blue, the right... Orange? It looks relieved seeing him and then embarrassed, it began looking away as it realizes its mask is not on it

[not-so-retired-farmer]

"Kid?!" He looked for Kérídi a little more before spotting it in front of him, "Oh my gods- I'm so glad you're okay-" He didn't really mind seeing its face, honestly more worried about if it's hurt, but noticing how uncomfortable it seemed to be so embarrassed about it, he decided it was best if he looked away himself.

"Sorry, I forgot you don't like having people see your face... any way we can get you home without having me look at it?" He asked, geniuinely just trying to be nice and respectful.

[just-an0ther-m0nster]

Kérídi looked around looking for a solution and then had an idea, it used its tail and hands to cover its face, leaving enough room for its eyes to see, it looked back up at James

This works...

See. The moment he saw you he turned away. You are a hideous monster.

[not-so-retired-farmer]

James turned back around to face Kérídi when he heard it speak. He smiled at it and gently wrapped an arm around it. "Alright, if that's what you're comfortable with, kid."

He carefully led the two of them out of the corn field and into the house. Once inside, he went over to the table, where Kérídi's mask lied and picked it up, handing it to the kiddo. "I believe you'd like this back?"

[just-an0ther-m0nster]

Kérídi didn't really protest much to James leading it out, Kérídi took its mask and quickly put it on, now once more hidden and more comfortable

Good. Hiding it is the best you could ever do. Freak. Stop it... Please... I know I'm hideous... Stop telling me that...

'm sorry...

It said quietly while looking down on the floor in shame

[not-so-retired-farmer]

"Hey, hey... sorry for what? You didn't do anything wrong, Kérídi..." The man simply crouched in front of it, looking worried- why would it be sorry? He didn't see anything wrong with anything it did.

"Kid, there's nothing you have to be sorry for here." He reassured, smiling gently at it. He slowly put his hand on its shoulder, hoping to comfort it- just a small gesture, he knew some would find it calming.

[just-an0ther-m0nster]

Dunno...

Making him look at your face. Ew. Get his hand off you. Hmm... Why..? You'll probably just give him some kind of sickness. That'd why.

Kérídi liked this tho, it was oddly comforting, but the voice was right, maybe there was some disease on it, so it just brushed off his hand hesitantly

Hmm...

[not-so-retired-farmer]

"Hey, kiddo.." Gods, what did it have to go through before he met it? It looked awfully sad, and it made James worry for its upbringing. Yeah, he knows from Reggie that not every demigod has a nice childhood, most of them don't, actually. It was sad, and he wished he could do something to help, but he knew that wasn't possible.

He respected Kérídi's decision to push his hand off of its shoulder, simply smiling softly and standing up. "Alright, this morning's been quite the adventure, now is there anything you want? Have you had breakfast yet?"

[not-so-retired-farmer]

Kérídi has been getting used somewhat to the new environment over the past weeks, it still didn't speak much and has been refusing to sleep on anything but the floor, tho this morning it was wasn't in its usual sleeping spot or anywhere else James might've been finding them sleeping in the house

@just-an0ther-m0nster

James couldn't say he wasn't worried. Because he was- he had no clue where the kid could be, sure its never really communicated much but he could always tell where it was! He could always find it around the house, and now it wasn't there. It wasn't there and it made him worry. So, after searching the entire house, he went outside, calling Kérídi's name and looking around.

[just-an0ther-m0nster]

Well Kérídi wasn't in earshot right now, right now it's just wandering around in some cornfields, lost and maybe very slightly panicked as it couldn't find its way out

You should just sit down and wait until you starve.

But what if James is worried, I don't want to disappoint him...

You'd do him a favor. You don't deserve him. You don't deserve anything. Stay lost.

But- but-

Die.

It continues to wander around, it didn't know what those plants were, they looked weird...

[not-so-retired-farmer]

"Kiddo?! Kérídi?!" The man kept shouting, walking around his neighborhood, probably getting the attention of some neighbors, but still nothing.

Finally, after a while of this, he came across that cornfield, and figured that if he couldn't find Kérídi in the neighborhood he might as well check there. He walked between the plants and continued to call its name, sounding extremely worried.

[just-an0ther-m0nster]

Finally it heard him and huh... What is this feeling? It's glad to hear him... Without really realizing it forgot that its mask is still hidden somewhere in James' house it began to listen to his voice to find him, slowly following it

Pathetic. Looking for you. Doesn't he know how horrible you are?

It didn't even bother responding this time as it finally popped out in front of James, giving him for the first time ever a look at its face, it has scars all over it, its eyes are two different color, the left is blue, the right... Orange? It looks relieved seeing him and then embarrassed, it began looking away as it realizes its mask is not on it

[not-so-retired-farmer]

"Kid?!" He looked for Kérídi a little more before spotting it in front of him, "Oh my gods- I'm so glad you're okay-" He didn't really mind seeing its face, honestly more worried about if it's hurt, but noticing how uncomfortable it seemed to be so embarrassed about it, he decided it was best if he looked away himself.

"Sorry, I forgot you don't like having people see your face... any way we can get you home without having me look at it?" He asked, geniuinely just trying to be nice and respectful.

[just-an0ther-m0nster]

Kérídi looked around looking for a solution and then had an idea, it used its tail and hands to cover its face, leaving enough room for its eyes to see, it looked back up at James

This works...

See. The moment he saw you he turned away. You are a hideous monster.

[not-so-retired-farmer]

James turned back around to face Kérídi when he heard it speak. He smiled at it and gently wrapped an arm around it. "Alright, if that's what you're comfortable with, kid."

He carefully led the two of them out of the corn field and into the house. Once inside, he went over to the table, where Kérídi's mask lied and picked it up, handing it to the kiddo. "I believe you'd like this back?"

[just-an0ther-m0nster]

Kérídi didn't really protest much to James leading it out, Kérídi took its mask and quickly put it on, now once more hidden and more comfortable

Good. Hiding it is the best you could ever do. Freak. Stop it... Please... I know I'm hideous... Stop telling me that...

'm sorry...

It said quietly while looking down on the floor in shame

[not-so-retired-farmer]

"Hey, hey... sorry for what? You didn't do anything wrong, Kérídi..." The man simply crouched in front of it, looking worried- why would it be sorry? He didn't see anything wrong with anything it did.

"Kid, there's nothing you have to be sorry for here." He reassured, smiling gently at it. He slowly put his hand on its shoulder, hoping to comfort it- just a small gesture, he knew some would find it calming.

[not-so-retired-farmer]

James do you have any friends

"Oh... well, I'd like to think I do? Most of my neighbors seem friendly, at least..." He thought for a while, he hadn't really talked that much with the people he's seen around here. "I mean, I've kinda grown close with a few parents of kids from Reggie's school? And... I'd like to think of Lucas as my friend. If he'd let me call him that, of course."

[not-so-retired-farmer]

Kérídi has been getting used somewhat to the new environment over the past weeks, it still didn't speak much and has been refusing to sleep on anything but the floor, tho this morning it was wasn't in its usual sleeping spot or anywhere else James might've been finding them sleeping in the house

@just-an0ther-m0nster

James couldn't say he wasn't worried. Because he was- he had no clue where the kid could be, sure its never really communicated much but he could always tell where it was! He could always find it around the house, and now it wasn't there. It wasn't there and it made him worry. So, after searching the entire house, he went outside, calling Kérídi's name and looking around.

[just-an0ther-m0nster]

Well Kérídi wasn't in earshot right now, right now it's just wandering around in some cornfields, lost and maybe very slightly panicked as it couldn't find its way out

You should just sit down and wait until you starve.

But what if James is worried, I don't want to disappoint him...

You'd do him a favor. You don't deserve him. You don't deserve anything. Stay lost.

But- but-

Die.

It continues to wander around, it didn't know what those plants were, they looked weird...

[not-so-retired-farmer]

"Kiddo?! Kérídi?!" The man kept shouting, walking around his neighborhood, probably getting the attention of some neighbors, but still nothing.

Finally, after a while of this, he came across that cornfield, and figured that if he couldn't find Kérídi in the neighborhood he might as well check there. He walked between the plants and continued to call its name, sounding extremely worried.

[just-an0ther-m0nster]

Finally it heard him and huh... What is this feeling? It's glad to hear him... Without really realizing it forgot that its mask is still hidden somewhere in James' house it began to listen to his voice to find him, slowly following it

Pathetic. Looking for you. Doesn't he know how horrible you are?

It didn't even bother responding this time as it finally popped out in front of James, giving him for the first time ever a look at its face, it has scars all over it, its eyes are two different color, the left is blue, the right... Orange? It looks relieved seeing him and then embarrassed, it began looking away as it realizes its mask is not on it

[not-so-retired-farmer]

"Kid?!" He looked for Kérídi a little more before spotting it in front of him, "Oh my gods- I'm so glad you're okay-" He didn't really mind seeing its face, honestly more worried about if it's hurt, but noticing how uncomfortable it seemed to be so embarrassed about it, he decided it was best if he looked away himself.

"Sorry, I forgot you don't like having people see your face... any way we can get you home without having me look at it?" He asked, geniuinely just trying to be nice and respectful.

[just-an0ther-m0nster]

Kérídi looked around looking for a solution and then had an idea, it used its tail and hands to cover its face, leaving enough room for its eyes to see, it looked back up at James

This works...

See. The moment he saw you he turned away. You are a hideous monster.

[not-so-retired-farmer]

James turned back around to face Kérídi when he heard it speak. He smiled at it and gently wrapped an arm around it. "Alright, if that's what you're comfortable with, kid."

He carefully led the two of them out of the corn field and into the house. Once inside, he went over to the table, where Kérídi's mask lied and picked it up, handing it to the kiddo. "I believe you'd like this back?"

[the-great-emperor-commodus]

Commodus could be minding his own business, honestly doing whatever it is that he does- going about his day, when he heard a knock on the front door.

...was he expecting any visitors?

@not-so-retired-farmer

[he grumbled under his breath and went to get the door, probably the kids Having friends over..

he freezes for a second when he opens it]

OH- well that's a surprise,hello?

[not-so-retired-farmer]

"Hello-" Oh gods, why was he here? Couldn't he figure this stuff out on his own? Why did he think this was a good idea?

"...if. If one was going to get an apology gift for a harpy. How would one go about it. Hypothetically." Well, he did think Commodus was more knowledgeable than he was about this stuff, considering he hired those guys and it seemed like lived with them? So maybe that's why James was here, he figured he'd ask someone who knows more.

[the-great-emperor-commodus]

[it takes him a minute to realize what James is talking about]

oh now that's just precious, don't worry about it,part of the job,yeah?

[ an idea strikes his as he talks,and he considers his options for a moment,is he really THIS desperate to talk to the guy..?

yes he is.]

but since you're already here,come in for a momen.

[not-so-retired-farmer]

"No but I feel really bad- ah, you know what, I'll figure it out myself.." He decided he shouldn't really poke the bear, especially since he knew he couldn't really count on his strength in situations like these- Commodus was very clearly stronger than him.

He was about to leave when the emperor told him to come into the palace. Oh gods- yeah, he probably shouldn't have come here in the first place. He thought of a good way to recover, to leave. "Oh- oh, I... really shouldn't..."

[the-great-emperor-commodus]

[good gods up on Olympus he feels like he's loosing his mind when he hears that,its just so endearing,he can't resist the smile forming on his face]

adorable.

[well shit,not the best thought to voice,time to hard pivot.]

oh that wasn't a question. now come in, I'll make tea,yeah?

[not-so-retired-farmer]

"Wh-" James couldn't help the little confused noise at the comment, what was that supposed to mean?? He probably didn't want to know, but he still was confused about it.

He rubbed the top of his hand with his other hand nervously before stepping inside, gods this was stressful. He never should've come here. "...alright."

[the-great-emperor-commodus]

[the reaction doesn't help,still adorable,and it still made him lose his mind a little bit.

he sighs and leads him into the proverbial lion's den,one hand on his shoulder with a grip of he hopes normal strength.]

alright come along now..

[he isn't even sure what he's doing anymore, this is just pathetic,why was THIS his type??]

[not-so-retired-farmer]

Even if Commodus was holding his shoulder with regular strength, to James it still felt like an iron grip and added a lot of tension to this entire thing. He didn't know what he wanted from him, and he wasn't sure he wanted to find out, especially after that deal he struck with him last time in order to not die.

"Did- did you need something?" He'd ask, his voice a bit quiet, he didn't know what would anger the man.

[the-great-emperor-commodus]

[oh god the way this man reacted did something for him, he felt the urge to keep pressing,see how far he could get...

exercising insane amounts of self control he sits the man down in the kitchen,and gets to making tea]

a couple of things,but that's neither here nor there, can't a man talk to one of his favorite mortals?

[not-so-retired-farmer]

"I-" He wasn't sure whether to feel relief or fear when Commodus said that, wasn't sure whether that meant he was safe and wouldn't be killed or that he was entertaining to play with. Regardless, he decided to keep respectful, just in case he wasn't safe around this man.

"I mean-" He cleared his throat, trying to find the right words that wouldn't get him killed. "I didn't think I was one of those-?"

[the-great-emperor-commodus]

[he sets a cup of black tea on the table before james, and leans on the table, drinking his own, they seem to have little cat decals]

oh? the fact you're not dead yet should be proof enough,no?

[he sips his tea]

besides you're fun.

[not-so-retired-farmer]

"Right-" He guessed that was true, after all it was a miracle he was still alive after he picked a fight with that man. He stared at the tea for a moment as if it could be poisoned, but grabbed the cup carefully and took in its scent before taking a sip.

"Oh, I wouldn't say that about myself... I'm just some average guy, you know?" He held the cup with both hands, as he always liked to do when holding warm stuff, as he added, "But, uh, if you want to think that, I can't really stop you-"

[the-great-emperor-commodus]

[he watched the man carefully,not for any paranoia reasons,but because he was genuinely a sight to behold, every bit of him driving the emperor ever so slightly crazier.

and well.. other things as well,ones he didn't want to pay much mind to. it was one thing to be horny for the man but the kind of emotions he was holding back were both much more serious and harder to eventually explain to his husband..]

damn right you can't.

[he shoots back automatically,the snark and confidence at least keeping the setting somewhat normal..]

how's the kid, anyways?

[not-so-retired-farmer]

He blew on top of the cup, an old habit he's never quite bothered to get rid of, laughing awkwardly at the comment, thinking he could just... try to act normal, try not to get on Commodus's bad side or anything like that- he didn't know when he'd stop 'being fun' to him.

"Hm?" He.. didn't really expect the emperor to ask about his son. He didn't think this man cared much, honestly, he wouldn't be surprised if he was simply asking because of some underlying malicious intent, but he couldn't really deny him an answer. "Oh, he's... getting better I'd say. Still scared, but.. he's adjusting."

[the-great-emperor-commodus]

[he stays quiet for a bit, unexplained fondness blooming in his chest,he does his best to beat it down completely. shifting uncomfortably]

that's good..kids can be difficult.

[he sighs, thinking back to his early attempts at parenting]

worth the trouble in the end though.

[not-so-retired-farmer]

"I... wouldn't say he's being difficult. See, the garden is sort of.. his safe space. He the son of the god of farming, and for some reason that means he gets tummyaches when he's not on fertile soil." He didn't really know why he was expalining this to him, the words just... came out naturally, as if he was just having a regular conversation with a regular person.

He sighed, sipping his tea before continuing, "so.. yeah, it kind of sucks he got scared out of going there for a while, and I really didn't want to have to give him pain medicine every single day, so we settled on supervised garden time until he feels good enough to be there on his own again."