...

[bpddiaries96]

I’m numb and burnt out. I want to die but I have no energy to do anything about it. I feel so alone and lost. I feel like I’m drowning. I can feel and see everyone around me functioning properly but my insides are screaming. I want to scream at every person that can’t see the pain in my eyes. I want the pain to end

[ruvaidwani]

Having bpd and bipolar combo is weird. I can't ever tell when I'm depressed bc my euphoria will act up and make me think I'm manic. And then when I'm manic, I'll think I'm depressed bc emptiness is back. Wtf

[bluedragonflydream]

Mental illness took so much away from me, sometimes I wish it would have taken my life as well

[thepersonalquotes]

anyone can want you, but the love hits different when someone actually values you

[quotemadness]

“Learn to give people up before they hurt you beyond repair. Even if they tell you they will change. Even if they tell you that they love you. Just remember, love isn’t meant to be permanently damaging. Love is meant to aid your healing.”

— Nikita Gill

[cedar2bug]

[bpdcrybaby213]

Beyond Borderline, true stories of recovery of borderline personality disorder book story #4

[charlesoberonn]

Feel like shit recently.

Can't sleep at normal hours and when I do sleep I have weird elaborate dreams.

When awake my brain is pulsing and I can't focus.

Also I feel my depression creeping back and my productivity is close to zero.

Fucking hell.

[mosscaller]

...so frustrated and exhausted..

[mosscaller]

[rainingcatsandfrogs]

please i need to be manic again. i can feel a depressive episode coming and every time it does i start failing school again. ive been working so hard for the past two months and it’s all going to go to shit if i dont fix myself.

[eliminated]

[quotemadness]

“I’ve wanted to kill myself a hundred times, but somehow I am still in love with life.”

— Voltaire

[thepersonalquotes]

[thepersonalquotes]

[yousaveeveryonebutwhosavesyou]

[wishing-for-deathx]

Things no one tells you about when you’ve been mentally ill for years and it won’t get better

— everyone will give up on you. Some will say it upfront, some will have indirect ways of showing it (you’re a lucky mf if you still have someone )

— your symptoms/ breakdowns/ panic attacks are cute for a few months. Everyone wants to help. Later on people find them annoying and inconvenient

— you will be blamed for not getting better. Doesn’t matter if you’re doing therapy, taking meds, exercising, eating well and sleeping. You can do all of it, some of it or none of it. They will find fault in your efforts.

— desensitization to your pain. This one isn’t their fault, it’s human nature. But it happens and yes it hurts cuz you would wish you were desensitized to your own pain but you have to feel it no matter what. Doesn’t matter if it’s the millionth time. It demands to be felt.

— people move on. But you can’t. You see people cope and get over things while you simply can’t. And it’s so much worse if you’ve been mentally ill for years. Even the smallest things break you and trigger you.

— you slowly realize this world isn’t made for mentally ill people in any way

— you’re tired / fatigued all the time. You have been for years now. You simply exist but you aren’t capable of living anymore. Your illnesses have taken everything that made you feel alive. You’re nothing but a shell. A body.