Finding the key to a hundred-year-old rusty chest...
…isn’t really what this entry will be about. But, I’m glad it crossed your mind.
“They say love can take you far
Be yourself and there you are
Once in a lifetime when will she be mine, heaven knows
Love can take you
Up the mountains, down belowÂ
Day or night she won’t let go,
Love like a warm wind¸
Sworn to the feelin’
Need to know”
- I Only Know How To Love, The Canadian Tenors
Quoted is the first stanza of one of my favorite classical crossover songs. It is a song that never fails to comfort me. This track and I have gone through many repeats… and, well, sing-alongs, mostly in the car.
For so long, I didn’t think this was an issue for me. Growing up I’ve always been that confident, sociable, corny-joke jester of a young woman. Or so I thought I was. And then things changed…
See, I would love to tell you that story, but sadly, had there been a map available I wouldn’t even be able to point out to you at which part of my life that started. I am going to make a conjecture that it started three years ago - when I graduated from college and dove into the real world with nothing but my diploma to float on. Sadly, I didn’t take my swimming lessons when I was younger that seriously - so, this is what I get. (Yes, I contemplated about not putting this sentence here, and, yes, even the whole paragraph, but I could not help it! Apologies for the dorkiness.)
Kidding aside - I tend to have this big, thick shield surrounding me. There are a lot of things in life that I am careful about. Call me innocent, but I call it cautious. I try not to seem impressionable, I try not to act like a child, I resist fun - and I’d rather be a bore than look “dumb.” I am that conscious. I am that insecure. So… do you like me yet? Haha! Well, I have to admit that this has been the trend to my broken relationships.
I just get too scared to lose people that I try my hardest to seem perfect and put together. Clearly that hasn’t been working out too well for me. I don’t go out because what if I make a fool of myself. I don’t smile because what if there’s something stuck in my teeth. I don’t bathe because what if the soap is too dry and my skin will then be peeling off in the middle of a very intimate, very hot s-Saharan Desert safari…
Yes, I am aware that these are things that I need to work on. But, I have a lot of other things that I need to still work on. I am a walking “process improvement,” but so are a lot of people. And I also like making up terms - it might as well be a hobby of mine.
I can tell you more about my life story, but I’d rather write a memoir about it. #workingonmynovel (LOL - shoutout to NPR fans because that’s where I heard it from)
Long story short - a handful of people I’ve dated missed my crazies, which actually may be a good thing.
All I’m asking is that if you happen to encounter someone similar to me, and you are currently in his or her life or are about to be in his or her life… do me a favor - please do this oxymoron and be patiently persistent. I know that sounds exhausting, but it will only help in the long run. Make them realize how important they are. Make them know that they are capable of doing bigger and better things. All they need is a little push. I bet you that they are more fun and way more interesting than you thought.Â
1. If they don’t want to do activities with you  - give it some time, show him or her things in little doses. You want to go swing dancing? Teach him or her basic steps in the comfort of either of your homes. Watch a youtube video. Make it a dare (i.e. if I win, you’ll have to swing dancing with me - just once, try it!). Or, you know, let it go.Â
2. If they don’t want to hang out with your friends - keep asking him or her if they would like to hang out. Make them feel comfortable. Tell them some negative things about your friends to make them look uncool - even if you have to make things up. It’s so much similar to talking in front of a big audience - “just picture them naked” so they say.
3. If they don’t seem natural around you - step back a little and check yourself. Are you giving them space to feel at ease? Are you making efforts to get to know them better by trying different strategies? Assuming what they’re thinking about doesn’t help.Â
If you are thinking of giving up on the person - think again, maybe you’re missing much more than you think. Try the three pointers. If nothing works, then maybe it really won’t. But, don’t just stop until you try.Â
Also, remember - there is a difference between a BIG SHOVE and a LITTLE PUSH, and that is force. I don’t think anyone appreciates being shoved.
That’s all for now folks!
Run along, now - your soup is getting cold.Â
snowghoul
pixelskylines
dailybridgerton