vito

i'm Victor, but u can call me Schmidt or Vito or Viktor or Cictor or whatever :)))

[notagaybastard]

Introduction post

Victor Schmidt, 16 yo and Brazillian. bisexual, autistic and likely ADHD and OCD

I listen a lot to Car Seat Headrest, Radiohead, Cavetown, Alex G and The Velvet Underground

My especial interests are Hannibal NBC and The Goldfinch by Donna Tartt, but i am also interested in:

Saw franchise

House M.D

Good Omens

Postal 2

Bully PS2

Re-animator

I am a massive reblogger trying to reblog less and post more :') I also post a lot about anything that's happening with me because it's funny. If you don't want to see anything related to my personal life, well, that may be hard to avoid because i always forget to tag.

I like doing polls and saying dumb stuff. You'll probably see me reblogging random posts for random fandoms that i'm not into but appreciate the media, like OFMD, MLP, DPS and many others.

I like drawing and i usually post here whenever i draw something with the tag "#art".

TW! Althought i don't post explicit nsfw images, i do make horny posts late at night and other things that can be triggering, such as guns, violence and mental ilness

[notagaybastard]

Im missing tumblr like hell but i dont want to keep up with this url nor to change so i just got a new one @clockwisehumper

[gerardksser]

what the hell, sure

[wowlookwhosspirallingagain]

i hate feeling things so deeply and i hate that they get physical like bitch you’re an EMOTION stay in your lane why does my body hurt

[notagaybastard]

I fucking hate this website

[notagaybastard]

I'm not transgender or anything I just hate every inch of myself to the point where I want to change every single detail that's it

[notagaybastard]

I've lost 6,6 pounds this week and I try to eat because you told me to but I can't i'm not capable of feeling hungry anymore

[notagaybastard]

I promise you can do anything with me and you can hurt me and use me and touch wherever you'd like and i won't push you just don't leave me again

[notagaybastard]

please don't leave alone please I'd do anything for people not to leave once again

[notagaybastard]

Please don't leave me alone again i can't go through this one more time i can't please don't abandon me and if you do could you please tell me first but don't lie i can't take it

[notagaybastard]

I spent a whole year medicating and making real friends whom i love more than anyone and having a job and getting a boyfriend and having good time with my family just for it to fall apart

[notagaybastard]

Everyhting is falling apart again

[notagaybastard]

My boyfriend told me he thinks i might actually be a trans man, after i spent a whole year as a cis girl

[notagaybastard]

I'm doing really bad and i am so so confused i don't know what is going on

[notagaybastard]

My hair is growing heres a picture i took at my !!JOB!!!

[notagaybastard]

ALSO i'm 5 months clear of self harm, 4 months clear of porn and 6(?) Clear of cigarrettes and no longer think about suicide

[notagaybastard]

NEWS ABOUT MY LIFE :D

ok so basically my haircut let to a lot of things happening like my dad being kicked out of my home by the police and me needing to go to the government psycosocial help thing for kids and stuff and resuming it all i started on antipsychotics and it changed my life and it made me realize i was never trans i was just so scared of my dad not being a good father for my sister that i tried to become a father figure to her. Yep. I also may be straight and i'm now christhian and i love both my parents and my relationship with both of them is very good life is very great with only 2 medicine a day :) i'm also not into any of the things i liked like The Goldfinch or Hannibal or Good Omens or wathever and now i know they were extremy harmful things to me and idk if ill come back to tumblr, but if i do i'll make another account.