"Not-as-in-Wonderland"

They always get my name wrong. A blog for dumb text posts.

[notasinwonderland]

Tits out at the dermatologist and she tells me "-you're very stable." Thanks doc.

[notasinwonderland]

Matzo bald soup

[notasinwonderland]

I actually think I deserve 8 million medals and constant praise and admiration and a parade in my honor and a cookie for being the nicest kindest most understanding person in the whole wide world when everyone else around me is an inconsiderate bastard who only thinks about themselves and not the impact their actions have on others, and god forbid I should imply that their wretched clownery has so much as mildly inconvenienced me because then it's all 'how could you say that, we're all doing our best, you have such a bad attitude!' and meanwhile the nasty little voice in the back of my head is telling me to 'just be a bastard!' but I don't do that because as mentioned previously I am a sweetheart and a doll and an angel and I am trying so so so hard to be compassionate and gracious and thoughtful and sympathetic BUT one of these days I am going to fucking run out of patience and start treating people the same way they treat me!!!!!!!!

[notasinwonderland]

I thought we were discussing books in book club! Not feelings!!!!!

[notasinwonderland]

Really optimistic of Girl Scouts to put a little cardboard tab on top of the Thin Mints box, as if I'm going to need to re-seal it instead of inhaling both sleeves of cookies in a single sitting.

[notasinwonderland]

I just think we should pronounce "url" like "Earl."

[notasinwonderland]

Paul my Blart into pieces

this is my last mall cop

[notasinwonderland]

Had a frustrating bout of lethologica earlier and had to spend 15 minutes looking up suffixes and prefixes and the like so I could reconfigure the word “theomachy” from the depths of my memory, all because google wouldn’t give me the answers I wanted when I asked for “word that means to fight god.”

[notasinwonderland]

*wakes up in a cold sweat* Is Naruto vaccinated???!!?

[notasinwonderland]

I wish I had energy for half the things that I want to do... but instead I’m just like zzzzzzzzzzzzz........

[notasinwonderland]

/╲/\╭[ ᴼᴼ ω ᴼᴼ]╮/\╱\ hello it is i spider, i have taken over this computer and i will be making posts now /╲/\╭[ ᴼᴼ ω ᴼᴼ]╮/\╱\

[notasinwonderland]

Just watched a tiny spider drop from the ceiling and into the vents of my computer so I’m logging off forever, goodbye cruel wo

[notasinwonderland]

Saw a kid wearing a glittery purple face mask doing the Naruto run after a school bus this morning, so all’s right with the world.

[notasinwonderland]

But who gets the Cards Against Humanity expansion packs in the divorce?

[notasinwonderland]

Mother has put the homestead up for sale, and now I must hide all my most shameful anime figurines behind more socially acceptable Gunpla and Dungeons & Dragons paraphernalia whenever there’s an open house.

[notasinwonderland]

I don’t watch Game of Thrones, but I do care about the tall sword lady. Is she doing alright? Is she eating enough? Is she making friends?

[notasinwonderland]

I still don’t watch Game of Thrones but I just want to know that she’s safe and happy... blease...

[notasinwonderland]

It is a god damn crime that I am being forced to listen to this wretched cover of “Africa” by a band that is NOT Toto whilst I wait in line to make my purchase of office supplies in an otherwise desolate Office Depot!!!! HOW can I be expected to enjoy my 14 new gel pens and executive desk planner when I will forever associate them with this horrific experience???!?