im really not an astrologist

im a new astrology blog and idk what to do with my life :-) I also try to post a "the signs as" post like once a day ask me things I like people but it may take me a few days to come up with a witty response but don't worry im not ignoring you I delete answered asks after a few hours so check back soon!

[notastrology]

How should Scorpio (m) go after a Capricorn (f)

politely

[notastrology]

what is YOUR zodiac sign?

what is YOU'RE zodiac sign?

[notastrology]

im an asexual scorpio who hates gore can you please step away from the sexual scorpio stereotype? a lot of us are asexual. im a double scorpio saying this (sun and rising)

scorpio rules the genitals or something i think. genitals do the sex sometimes possibly. a stereotype is a stereotype and does not include every single person within that general group. what an idea

[notastrology]

Not all Leo's are party alcoholics just saying I'm a Leo and never drink or party lol

gasp. who would've guessed not ALL people are stereotypical. oh my god. you have made an amazing scientific discovery. woah

[notastrology]

what's ur fuckin sign hoe and don't say ophiuchus or i will personally attack u

what's an ophiuchus (I know I said it pls don't attack me i am a nice)

[notastrology]

Hi are you breathing at the moment

no

[notastrology]

post something astroligically

I don't believe in astrology sorry

[notastrology]

come talk to me I swear im nice

[notastrology]

which one of you motherfuckers unfollowed me

[notastrology]

come talk to me I swear im nice

[notastrology]

what the signs will never forgive you for

Aries: irritating them tbfh chill

Taurus: like okay if you clean something of theirs they'll be so angry bc they won't be able to find their shit

Gemini: interrupting them

Cancer: calling them emotional

Leo: cutting them off from alcohol

Virgo: messing up their room

Libra: they're forgiving af ok

Scorpio: breathing

Sagittarius: they will forgive you with a huge smile and an optimistic look and butterflies and rainbows ok

Capricorn: breaking their heart

Aquarius: eating their fucking squirrel

Pisces: replacing them

[notastrology]

With your astrology, I think you need to focus on staying away from the crying stereotype with Cancers. Also the partying stereotype for Leos. I would think more outside of the box because its very unoriginal.

a-are you... is this... did I just get my first anon hate...im so proud of myself

[notastrology]

NO LIKE IM sO GOOD AT POKER YOU DON'T UNDERstanD I WILL TAKE YOUR HOUSE EVENN IF YOU DIDNT BET IT

i have loST COUNTLESS FORKS TO MY GEMINI HUMAN THIS ISNT FAIR OKAY IM SO ANGRY

[notastrology]

how the signs make noise

Aries: the background noise of police sirens chasing after them

Taurus: the noise of their life falling apart

Gemini: they're talking

Cancer: crying

Leo: v loud music

Virgo: hair flips that make the whoosh noise

Libra: flipping pages of books idk

Scorpio: screams of pain and suffering of their enemies

Sagittarius: laughter

Capricorn: "I love you"s and "stay safe"s and other lovey dovey optimistic things

Aquarius: weirdass noises who fucking knows

Pisces: blub

[notastrology]

Lmao the funniest thing is that people take this blog seriously. Guys. The url is NOTastrology for a reason lol.

tru (also see the title of the blog)

[notastrology]

Why do you think Libras are boring? That makes me so upset! We are really outgoing and funny.

I also think that pisces are literal fish but that doesn’t mean they are

im really judging off of -65%

[notastrology]

Hi. What's all of those other signs that nobody talks about like Lilith or Moon signs. Could you give me an explanation post pls?

I probably could if I knew more about astrology than that cancer cries 24/7 and pisces is a fish

[salivatears]

Thanks so much

[notastrology]

you’re very welcome sorry I went into a little too much detail there I get carried away sometimes

[salivatears]

I can tell. Well, if you ever need a “call a friend” I’m here. I’m actually really good with that zodiac stuff :)

[notastrology]

I demand you become my zodiac friend human person mortal and you should hmu

[notastrology]

Hi. What's all of those other signs that nobody talks about like Lilith or Moon signs. Could you give me an explanation post pls?

I probably could if I knew more about astrology than that cancer cries 24/7 and pisces is a fish

[salivatears]

Thanks so much

[notastrology]

you're very welcome sorry I went into a little too much detail there I get carried away sometimes