Momma told me I could be pretty or funny

As fate would have it- I'm neither (x-men (cartoon) memeblog. It's bullshit- and I shovel it.) 

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12 y/o me when my mom asks me to do a fashion show to show my dad all the new clothes we bought

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TFW your bestie asks for advice on their shitty BF and you can finally deliver the 12 page essay on why they’re shitty

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acting surprised when your mom is pissed at a sibling knowing damn well that you’re the one who told her. 

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Moms splitting the coveted snack to keep their kids from hunger gamesing each other

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when you’re trying to tell a story to your family but they keep interrupting 

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Me and the girls getting ready to go burn down the patriarchy 

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TFW you’re hiding from your issues but still have to look cute 

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My parents faces when the bar of expectations has been set SO low and I still managed to trip and break an ankle 

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your friend’s faces when you start texting THAT ex again

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when you finally end up in that love triangle all of those YA novels promised only to discover that both dudes are boring as hell. 

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My face 10 seconds before unleashing panic and mayhem in the family chat 

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The sheer horror of working retail and realizing that you do not have the proper equipment to deal with stupid. 

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TFW dads say “I don’t need directions!!!” while driving you straight into the setting of a Stephen King novel. 

[notfunnyonmain]

when you find someone who shares your fucked up sense of humor

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5 y/o me  proudly showing off my ability to hold my breath under water for an entire 30 seconds

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My face when someone tries to wake me up before 2 pm

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the righteous rage you feel when your sibling eats the left overs that you were maybe probably  possibly going to eat later