Falling Leaves Like Glitter

just trying to find my tribe. elder emo, pastel goth, chronic pain warrior, artist 30's f usa I do not do digital art, nfts or commissions really. I can ship you a print or some stickers if you really want. again for the scammers in the back: I DO NOT DO NFTS.

[leaveslikeglitter]

Water color birb.

Touch up with pen and acrylic.

Kind of a throw away piece. Testing new technique. But love it

[leaveslikeglitter]

First day in over a month without pain meds. Without too much pain meds not doing enough for the pain.

First day in over a month where I haven't counted the seconds till I could take more pain meds. Worried I might have over done it .

Not because of doctors. No.

Because an ai chat figured out what was causing my pain and suggested ways to relieve it. Ai. Chat gpt.

It's wrecking the planet. But so is for profit medical care.

[leaveslikeglitter]

When it really hurts time slows down.

My heartbeats take forever. I tell myself I can make it just one more. Another.

Reality isn't important and I've no idea what's going on.

Somehow I'm crying and suddenly everyone needs something right now.

Breathing had to be done manually. Or else I'll hyperventilate. Or forget.

Things are too close to me and it's warmer than I want. The air feels different. Usually the floor is my friend.

[leaveslikeglitter]

Please god someone give me a good home remedy for pain.

The lidocaine patches and Diclofenac and asper creme with vics didn't do anything for really deep staby pain.

It's wonderful on the closer to the surface stuff.

Heat is all I've got.

[chronicillnesshumor-deactivated]

ME, LITERALLY DROWNING: Help me, I'm drowning!

DOCTOR, WITH THE BOAT THAT COULD SAVE ME: I'm out of ideas. You're fat.

[cyprinidaen]

hamstr/x 🐹

[leaveslikeglitter]

Work in progress. Sea turtle

A coworker drew it. And I'm slowly watering coloring it.

[leaveslikeglitter]

I took one of my 2 pain pills before 7 am today. An hour before work.

So now I spend all day calculating. When is the right time to take another.

Bed time would be ideal. Sleep is its own medicine. But I doubt I'll make it that far.

Migraine, my spine is on fire. Hips and feet and wrists hurt.

I can probably take 3 pain pills. 2 and a half maybe.

[leaveslikeglitter]

I am tired

It's been a bad week.

Lots of dr's I have to advocate for myself at.

Lots of painful tests.

Everyday a high pain day.

I'm at the point where I hope I'm not overdosing on pain pills. But I'm also waiting too long to take the pain pills.

And somehow I'm still at work. Still 'functioning' I guess.

Everyone says "oh you'll be ok. You can do it"

But. Wouldn't it be ok, if just for a few days, I didn't?

[leaveslikeglitter]

[leaveslikeglitter]

Whale mixed media in progress.

Water color, acrylic paint, pen.

[leaveslikeglitter]

I am really really frustrated with my usable hours a day. Just enough to hold down a job. Mostly.

I want to clean and reorganize my house.... Have hobbies.

Relationships with friends.....

People think I'm crazy for bring tired after work, but those are all the hours I have. I was tired before work. After work? I have nothing left. 😅😭😭😭😭

[fibro-memes]

[chronicillnesshumor-deactivated]

[chronicillnesshumor-deactivated]

[leaveslikeglitter]

Anyone else legit sprouting PTSD from purchasing anything not 9k percent vital?

Like I get a panic attack at the grocery store.

New sweatshirt? But my other one doesn't have that many holes.....

[chronicillnesshumor-deactivated]