Jules of Nature
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tannertan36
DEAR READER
Aqua Utopia｜海の底で記憶を紡ぐ
Love Begins
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Cosmic Funnies
2025 on Tumblr: Trends That Defined the Year
Sweet Seals For You, Always
Today's Document
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I'd rather be in outer space 🛸
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we're not kids anymore.
oozey mess
he wasn't even looking at me and he found me
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@nothais-world
KICK THE CAN!
Let’s play the biggest game of kick the can on the internet.
To kick the can, reblog it. I wanna see how long this can go on for.
the oldest reblogs for this post that i can find are from january 2nd of 2013. this can has been getting kicked around tumblr for almost 13½ years now
And yet somehow this is my first time kicking it!
Having a narcissistic mother is a form of death. A mother is supposed to be nurturing and warm. Most of the time, your thoughts as her child should be that she would be a safe person to call on in time of distress and a person you'd want to share good news with.
When a mother is cold and unfeeling or uses her role as a mother to manipulate and control your actions and emotions, you feel disoriented. You feel as though you're drowning while you're supposed to be swimming.
A person committed to being toxic will bring up the past mistakes and narratives of others with the intention to hurt them all over again, remind them of their past mistakes and most nefariously to change the perception of others about them.
Healthy people may bring up your past in order to help you be accountable and maybe to maintain a positive environment within the group, especially if there are new people and there is someone perpetually preying on newer people who are not familiar with the group.
When a person doesn't like you and they are committed to being toxic, they will spread narratives about you that hurt and ruin your reputation and prevents others from wanting to associate with you, thereby isolating you.
Remember, the goal of a narcissist is to maintain control and dominance. In a social setting, they seek to establish their control over a group or seek to maintain they position or title within the group as the hero or the helper etc even to the detriment of others.
How can you tell who is truly narcissistic in a situation where there are multiple narratives and stories flying around?
We all have some narcissism in our personalities. That's not necessarily a bad thing in and of itself. We all have moments where we may want all the attention to ourselves and we may even have moments when we unintentionally hurt those around us.
The difference between a healthy person and a toxic person is their commitment to change. Their willingness to admit wrong and their following actions and words to do better consistently so as not to hurt those around them again.
People who are committed to being toxic have lost their senses and their true self is buried under the weight of shame. Some may have started off with making a mistake, hurting someone they love or doing something else.
However instead of turning around and doing better, they double down and continue down the path of doing things that hurt themselves and others. No, you cannot save them. Neither can you guide them to change or fix them by giving them more time to change.
People only change if and when they want to and trying to change them yourself would only enable they're behavior. They will develop multiple personalities where they act one way with you because you're a kind hearted person that sees the best in them and they will act the same or maybe worse with others who are unaware of them and their behavioral patterns.
The best thing you can do for a narcissistic person is truly to let them commit to being better and walk that path themselves.
You trying to make yourself their savior will only enable them to continue.
People who are narcissistic do not care who you are as long as you help support their POV. They embrace people who agree with them and discard anyone who disagrees with them.
Its not that they even care about whatever matter is at hand for discussion. Their only goal is to win by all means, tread on anyone they dislike or disagree with and embrace those who agree with them in the moment in order to gain more power which will then be used to manipulate and control in order to gain even more power.
And when this limitless power is gained a narcissistic will fill themselves with everything they desire without regard to the state of their inner being or those around them. Eventually they will destroy themselves and those close to them.
Narcissistic mothers are unwilling to see any perspective that could point accountability to them.
Don’t tell (hetero) black women to settle in the name of black love. Tell black men to step up and give us relationships to be proud of.
10 posts!
Woohoo somblr
If you discover your partner has some narcissistic traits, it's important to handle the situation delicately.
Narcissistic mothers are doting, and loving and caring, they are the image of perfection, until you do, say, or think something they don't want you to do, think or say.
A narcs mother's love is highly conditional and her approval is immediately withdrawn when things don't go her way. Not the usual disapproval that elders generally have for the younger generation, not the cultural stubbornness usually observed in traditional and immigrant families. A narcs disapproval is more asinine, more intentional, more calculated.
They train you from childhood to believe that they're disapproval is the end of your world. You feel physically sick thinking of them being upset. Not your having an opinion of your own, it is the thought of their reaction and the yelling, stonewalling or abandonment that happens when they realize you've dared to take them on.
This creates rivalry between you and your sibling(s) if any. Disagreement with a narc creates an uncomfortably tense environment, which you then grow to dislike, thus making you afraid to have an identity outside the narcissist and leaves you helpless to their dominance and control.
The best way to tell if someone is a narcissist is None. You can't tell. Maybe in the recent past ( pre-hyper-sm-use), you could've because there wasn't much talk about it. But with more exposure and more conversation about narcissism, the better narcs get at masking their true nature and the better they get at creating chaos in your life to distract you from looking to them as the real problem.
Remember, narcissists need narcissistic supply - people or persons, narratives or situations to dominate and control.
What better victim than you - a single person, bright eyed and bushy tailed, seeing the world only through the lens of wanting or needing a partner, a friend, companionship.
They will observe you, study you, know what you like, befriend your friends, act like everything you've always wanted. They may even be the one to bring up the narcissistic traits conversation... anything to begin painting the picture in your mind that they could never be a problem in the relationship. Thus, if any problems come up in the future or during the relationship, they have programmed you to look at everything else except them.
Narcissistic partners show up during the talking stage in many ways. There is not one particular question or statement that they would say or ask to alert you. Remember, narcs are emotional vampires and are extremely good at reading social cues. Thus, they can adapt and pivot extremely fast once they realize one method is no longer working.
There is absolutely nothing you can do to change the narrative a narc makes up about you. Even if your version is rooted in truth and reality; a narc will go to every length to spread their version of events and there is nothing that will change them, neither hard facts nor evidence.
Don’t tell (hetero) black women to settle in the name of black love. Tell black men to step up and give us relationships to be proud of.
narcs use Shame to prevent you from asking for what you really want and oftentimes what you need to live a good life. A performative narc will make a show of giving you everything else except the 1 thing you have repeatedly mentioned you need.
IMO there is no one more manipulative than a narc with innately endowed power either through societal systems, religion or social power.
