white and black

Take Your Time, Wait ’Till I Tire Out || Mikey and Amanda

theshadeofthenight:

“Yeah,” Amanda scoffed. “Sure,” She knew that he wouldn’t be saying that if he had any idea what she was talking about. “The guys at the Tiger’s Den beg to differ,” She mumbled, and suddenly became unsure if Mikey knew what she was talking about–the club she used to dance for in India. “And the ones at Sinsations too, for that matter,” She added as she crossed her arms in front of her chest. As much as she wanted to get away from it, stripping was the only thing she was good at. It was the only thing she knew. And the solid cash-flow was too much for her to just walk away from. Especially when she had a father in hospital who didn’t look like he’d leave.

“You make her sound like a burden. That’s not love. It’s babysitting,” She spat. “No,” Amanda murmured. “No!” She repeated, pointing a finger at him. “See? Do you see how fucking twisted this is? You can’t just say shit like that to me, Mikey. That’s not fucking fair and you know it. I was sixteen and–honestly–a little overwhelmed. I know you wouldn’t understand, but where I’m from and where you’re from–they’re really different and Germany was– crowded. And fast. I felt like I was just embarrassing you all the time,” She sighed. Amanda licked her lips slowly as Mikey said the words that had haunted Amanda since the day she packed her bags and left Germany. She wasn’t good enough. Her teenage suspicions were confirmed, and the sound of it hurt like a knife. “Yeah, I know. Jungle Princess is too savage for the primped and pretty world that King Michael is from. I know. I’ve always fucking known that,” She snarled, crossing her arms in front of her chest. “You wouldn’t know that I can’t because you didn’t give me a chance to,” She said, shrugging her shoulders. “Yeah, well–” Amanda said, reaching for the cigarettes in her pocket. Silently, she put one between her lips and lit it. “So do I.”

Mikey’s jaw dropped as Amanda continued to talk. “Tiger’s Den?” He asked. “Sinsations?” He shook his head. “What the fuck are you talking about? Where are these guys?” Mikey asked. He wasn’t about to stand aside and let Amanda be treated like dirt, no matter if he knew the guys or not. “You’re better than that,” he insisted, his voice softer now. “Whatever you’re doing-- whatever they tell you or how they act, you’re better,” Mikey said, almost pleading with her.

His hands twisted into his hair as Amanda took on the defense. “You weren’t embarrassing me,” he said softly, unsure if she should back away or move closer to her. “You were learning, Amanda. I had to learn too.” Mikey insisted. How she’d acted wasn’t wrong, “I just had the excuse of being a child when I was learning,” he explained. Her voice grew harsher and Mikey groaned softly. “I didn’t give you a chance to?” He asked, a bitter laugh falling from his lips. “You’re the one who left!” Sure, she’d asked him to stop acting as though she was sixteen but she had to stop acting like the victim too. “You left and I got over you. What was I supposed to do, Amanda? Sit around and wait for you to come back? Cause, hey, maybe if you’d said that you wanted to come back or that you still wanted us or that you still wanted me then things would be really fucking different right now,” he said through clenched teeth. But she shrugged her shoulders and suddenly all her anger disappeared. A cigarette was soon between her lips and he sighed, stepping forward to rip it from her lips. “You see?” He asked. “This is why you and I can’t work, because I’m over all of this shit,” Mikey waved the cigarette in his hand. But he knew that wasn’t the worst part; she was the most potent drug to him. “And I want - more than anything,” he started, stepping closer before gently placing the cigarette back in his hand. “To be over you too,” Mikey murmured, his hand moving up slowly to cup her cheek gently, his thumb running over her cheek as his eyes flickered between her eyes and her lips. “I want to be over you,” he whispered, although he couldn’t stop himself from leaning in a little more and pressing his lips to hers softly.

Her skin smelled of evergreen and spearmint, this close. Mikey could feel his heart pounding through the tips of his fingers. He imagined she could feel it, too. He didn’t know what was going to happen next - what was supposed to happen next - but it would be random, unpredictable, uncomfortable. He was getting ready to push away from her but Amanda’s lips anchored him in place. When feeling came back, in a storm of colour and force and sensation, the most he could do was hold on to Amanda before him and hope he could weather it. Mikey closed his eyes and expected the worst - but it wasn’t a bad thing; it was just a different thing. A messier one, a more complicated one. He hesitated, and then he kissed Amanda a little harder, willing to concede that he might have to lose control before he could find out what he’d been missing.

#p #tytwtito

as-goodas-golden

You seem pretty confident I like you enough to put your name on my body.

Yeah, I’d say you like me more than enough to put my name on your body.

#c:abby

Take Your Time, Wait ’Till I Tire Out || Mikey and Amanda

“What happened to me is that my life fucking fell apart,” She snapped. “For a while now, I’ve been all I had. And I just–I don’t want that anymore. I don’t want to pretend that I’m okay with that anymore,” She admitted, aloud, for the first time. “I’m better than this?” Amanda scoffed. “All I fucking do is beg for men. I just don’t have to say it then,” She slurred, stepping over any boundary she had. Amanda’s life was becoming a series of pitfalls. Her father holed up in hospital on borrowed time, Amanda leaving school entirely to take her clothes off and make men fall in love with the character she played, and now this. Amanda was becoming the poor, pathetic shell of a person she’d always worked so hard to combat. A dead little thing in a pretty shell. An idea.

“At this point, I think the least you could do is just be honest with me,” Amanda blurted. “And I’m drunk anyway, what the fuck do you care?” She questioned. “Is it better?” Amanda asked. “I don’t know. But all I know is that right now it feels like Hell,” She shrugged. “And I figured that I’d rather you look at me right now and tell me that you don’t love me at all than to keep up this–whatever it is anymore,” She blurted out, referring to the last time she saw him. When the feeling of his lips on hers became permanently pressed into them. “If I thought I’d had a snowball’s chance in Hell, I would have,” Amanda said, feeling like she might be sick, and not from the alcohol. “But you never came for me, either, don’t forget,” She brought up. “And don’t pull the whole you-didn’t-think-I-wanted-that crap because I know you better,” She sighed. “I didn’t say that it was good or smart to be in love with you but I know you know me well enough to know that I’m not good or smart,” Amanda licked her lips. “God–Mikey, you can’t keep acting like I’m still sixteen years old anymore!” She snapped. “I fucked up then. I realize that. But you can’t keep blaming be for that anymore. That’s not fair and you know it,” She argued. “You’re out of your fucking mind if you think that’s the life that she wants, either,” She deadpanned. “Hell, I don’t even think you want that life. But when you love someone, you make sacrifices,” Lately, Amanda was starting to think that there wasn’t anything that would be too terrible to life with if it meant she could feel like she belong somewhere. To feel wanted for more than a monetary value.

Amanda snapped at him and Mikey took a small step back. He had no idea what she was talking about, simply because she hardly ever talked about herself. He really had no idea what was going on in her life, and for that he felt ashamed. “Just because you beg for it doesn’t mean that you aren’t better than it,” he said, gritting his teeth. In all honesty he had no idea what she was talking about, but there was no way he was going down without a fight.

“I am being honestly with you,” he insisted. “More honest than I have been with anyone before,” Mikey pushed his words through gritted teeth. He paused at her question and swallowed. “It’s different,” he admitted. “She’s...she’s stable now. That’s what I need to be around,” he said softly to the girl who was quite obviously not stable. “Amanda,” he sighed, looking away from her. Was he able to tell her that he didn’t love her? “Of course I love you,” he mumbled quietly. “I just don’t know if I’m... in love with you.” He shrugged softly. She mentioned him not coming to find her and he immediately turned defensive. “Didn’t come for you?” He asked, feeling his jaw clench. “Of course I fucking came for you!” He exploded. “I sent out plenty of people to look for you, I sent goddamn foot soldiers out to find you. I went out myself. I had no fucking clue where you were! I went all the way to fucking India and couldn’t fucking find a thing. You fucking vanished, so don’t you dare tell me that I didn’t come for you,” he pointed a finger in her face. “I did nothing but look for you.” He growled. Mikey froze when she said that Abby didn’t want the life of a royal either. She was right, of course. “She would be better for the job then you could ever be,” he said honestly, his words almost silent in the hopes that she wouldn’t hear him. Amanda spoke of sacrifices and Mikey shook his head slowly. “You could never make a sacrifice that large, Amanda,” he rubbed his forehead, closing his eyes. “I’m sorry,” he whispered, his voice breaking. “I wish...I wish things were different.”

wish-resigned

Visit Original Link

About Sophie by Keaton Henson

She’s one of those who when you’re talking, you’ll see She’s really listening to someone like me Why was she listening to someone like me? Cause I’m a tough shit friend And I’ll reckon she’ll stay with me til the end And it means more than I pretend

#music #thoughts

Take Your Time, Wait ’Till I Tire Out || Mikey and Amanda

“You always use your marriage as an excuse,” Amanda chuckled, not drunk enough to cry. Tomorrow, when her aching head pounded this conversation against the walls of her mind; when the regret she wished she had for saying all of this never showed. “But you know—” She stopped, but, decided to continue. She was half past the point of no return, she might as well continue. “But you’ve never said it because you’re in love with her. That’s never been your defense. And I’m drunk, but I think that means something,” Amanda argued. “Because that’s not implied, it’s not,” She said, shaking her head.

“I’m not—I’m not asking you to drop everything and like—run off into the sunset singing love songs,” Amanda started. “You don’t want to give up a sure thing,” She accused gently. She didn’t want him to be angry at her, surely then the pathetically drunk crying girl would come out and God, Amanda would rather be dead than be that vulnerable. “Because I’m flighty. I get it. But—” She stopped, starting to pick at her nails. “I just can’t let you go, Michael,” Amanda licked her lips and locked eyes with him. “And I want to, God,” She exhaled heavily and crossed her arms in front of her, trying to fold herself into herself as much as she could. “I want to so fucking bad but I just—” She looked at the ground. “I can’t. I can’t stop thinking about what would’ve happened, y’know? And I know—I know it’s stupid. But I can’t help but think that maybe—like, maybe you’ve thought about it, too.”

“Of course I’m in love with her,” he said quietly, his eyes falling to the floor because he simply couldn’t bear to see Amanda this vulnerable. The whole time he’d known her she had never been this girl. He couldn’t help but smile sadly at the thought of Amanda being the type of girl who wanted a happily ever after. When they had been together he had spent copious amounts of time thinking about how to convince her that he was all she would need, but then he woke up with a hole in both his bed and his heart and he knew he should’ve tried harder. “What happened to you?” He asked, almost whispering to the girl he seemed to know nothing about. “This,” he gestured to her, “is not the girl who should be pleading with a guy. You’re better than that, Amanda,” he said, unsure if his tone was that of encouragement or disgust.

He gave a soft sigh when she admitted to wondering what would have happened had she not left. “Of course I think about it -- thought about it,” he corrected himself. Mikey swallowed thickly, fearing emotion would cloud his voice. “For about a year after you left,” he nodded, “I honestly expected you to come back to me.” Mikey sighed, stuffing his hands in his pocket and leaning against the kitchen counter. “And then I saw you at school and,” he shook his head. “I knew things had changed.” Mikey paused for a moment, observing the drunken girl before him. “I still think about it sometimes,” he admitted. “And I probably always will, just like I will always have feelings for you, but isn’t it better to move on? We aren’t good for each other. After you left I screwed myself up-- like really badly, and I’ve only just fixed that.” He paused before admitting the harsh truth. “You’re no good for me. And the lifestyle that you would be forced into if we tried us,” he gestured between the two of them, “again? You would hate yourself. You would have to sit next to me and go to regal dinners and hang off my arm like an ornament when I know that’s not what you are about. It would eat you alive. I know that you’re not the type of girl who wants that lifestyle, and I really do respect that. It would be unfair for both of us if I made you sit beside me on a throne.” He said, his tone lowering.

as-goodas-golden

Your face just above my hip?

Mhm. Or at the very least my name in a heart.

#c:abby

Take Your Time, Wait ’Till I Tire Out || Mikey and Amanda

“Nope,” Amanda said, popping the ‘p’. “I didn’t want to go there,” She continued, shaking her head. “Things are exactly why I’m here,” Amanda nodded. “I don’t know,” She sighed, swallowing thickly. “I hope so,” She shrugged her shoulders animatedly. “Okay—here we go,” She stumbled a little into Mikey. “You—you should sit down,” She instructed, gently pushing him toward his chair and pressing his shoulders down until he sat. For now, she felt invincible. She wasn’t afraid about how crippling and just how vulnerable she was unknowingly about to make herself. Normally, Amanda wouldn’t put herself into these sort of things, where she wasn’t getting the upper hand. But now, her inebriated mind was forging ahead into unknown territory. It should have been terrifying. But it wasn’t. Tonight.

“Are you ready?” Amanda asked, swinging her arms gently. “Are you really ready?” Perhaps that proper question was to ask if she was really ready. Sober her—no. Drunk her—very much so. “I’m still—I’m still in love with you,” She said, clear as day. Even just hearing the words leave her mouth felt sobering. “And I just, I just keep thinking that like—that if I never left—maybe,” She waved a lazy hand between them. “Maybe I wouldn’t have to be here y’know. Like this. I’ve just been thinking that because maybe when you kissed me that maybe you weren’t through with this either,” She said, her hazy, drunken eyes looking helplessly at him. Amanda quickly changed her demeanor and began grinning wide as she stood unevenly in front of Mikey. “And now,” She chuckled. “Since I’m just past honest drunk—you can say whatever you want to say about it. Go for it,” She bent forward a little and put her hands on her hips. “I can take it.”

Mikey nodded, smirking at just how seriously she was recounting her story. “I see,” he nodded. He frowned at her answers to his questions. He had an idea of what the things she referred to were, and the fact that she had to be drunk to tell him confirmed it even further. She told him to sit down and before he could make any advancements towards a seat she was pushing him down into the chair at the kitchen table. “Okay,” he chuckled, quite obviously sitting.

“I am ready,” Mikey confirmed with a nod. “Yep, I’m really ready,” he worked hard to conceal his entertained smile. The words that he had been expecting, but not necessarily wanting, soon fell from her lips. He nodded slowly, allowing her drunked words to fill the void that had suddenly appeared in his mind. She eventually told him to say whatever he wanted and the first thing that came to mind was you’re four years too late, but he held his tongue. “Amanda,” he sighed, resting his hands on his knees and looking around his apartment - his and Abby’s apartment. “I won’t deny that I feel something for you,” he paused, sucking on his teeth for a moment. “But I think I’m always going to feel something for you and that doesn’t necessarily mean that we should revisit...us.” He ran a hand through his cropped hair. “Plus I’m getting married soon, Amanda. Like really soon.” He shook his head. Mikey hated to use Abby as an excuse to get out of this situation but he didn’t know what else to say. He looked at her for a moment, biting his bottom lip. “Are you going to remember this in the morning?” He asked, slightly hopeful that she would forget everything. He still found it ironic that she was the one who had hurt him more than anyone else in the world and yet all he wanted for her was happiness.

#question #Anonymous #this gif is so cute look at him and that lil mic #also hello sabrina how are u today

you and amanda <3

Take Your Time, Wait ’Till I Tire Out || Mikey and Amanda

“Thank God,” Amanda drunkenly laughed, her eyes fluttering shut. “Because the last time I knocked on a door, it wasn’t even your door. You know what I had to do?” She paused, as if she were trying to build some sort of suspense. In her drowning mind, this was obviously the greatest story ever told. Fuck War and Peace. “I had to knock on this door and try again. And this time I was right. Because you’re here,” She grinned. “And I’m very happy to see you,” Amanda smirked at his lips before slowly looking at his eyes—they shone bright blue even in the dark. They, on top of the vodka, had a dizzying effect on her.

Amanda took a small step in, looking at Mikey with a playful pout. “I’m not—too drunk. I’m never too drunk,” Of course now she was quite drunk, but not as awfully messed up as she’s been in the past. Surely Mikey knew that. She could still make words that were coherent enough to be understood. “I just,” Amanda began as she put her hand on Mikey’s shoulder. “I wanted to go home. But the taxi driver took me here,” Amanda said, not realizing that this was exactly where she asked the cabbie to take her. “So I thought, hey,” She chuckled. “I should go see Mikey because I feel like I should. I’ve got some things,” She said, taking his hand and bringing it over her head. She spun herself underneath it, giggling like a fiend. “I’ve got a lot of things. I think that’s why I’m here,” She said, nodding her head. “Lilaaac wiiiine,” Amanda slurred. “Is sweet and head-y. Liiiiiike my looooove,” She continued, swinging the hand she refused to let go of.

Mikey chuckled at her reaction to finding him behind the door. She told the story of her attempt at finding him and he listened with an entertained smirk. “Wow, that really is a story for the grandchildren,” he teased. “Well congratulations on finding me,” Mikey nodded, tapping the apartment number on the door. “I guess you’re a little past the coherent reading stage of drunk,” Mikey said, watching as her eyes rose from his lips to meet his gaze. He gave her a small smile: he couldn’t remember the last time someone had told him they were happy to see him.

He nodded at her words. Mikey knew she wasn’t too drunk - he’d seen her in that state all too many times before - and so he would give her credit for that. “You asked the taxi driver to take you home?” Mikey asked, his brow furrowing. “Didn’t you realise this isn’t where you live?” He chuckled, closing the door behind her and following her down the short hallway into the kitchen. “You’ve got some things?” He asked with a chuckle. “Are they good things?” Mikey asked, attempting to humour her whilst working out what things she could be talking about. Amanda took his hand, moving it above her head and spinning beneath it. Mikey took her hand whilst she spun, hoping to give her more stability, and stepped a little closer to her wary of how intoxicated she was and the fact that dancing in her state probably wasn’t the best, or safest, idea. “The things are why you’re here?” He asked and nodded firmly. “Right,” he said, acting as though she was making perfect sense. Amanda began to sing and, instead of rolling his eyes, he really listened. It had been years since he’d heard her sing and, for a moment, he simply let himself revel in the sound of her voice.

as-goodas-golden

But that means having to show my ass to show it off.

Okay, okay, touche. You could get it like just above your hip or something. So people would see it if you were in a bikini.

#c:abby

Take Your Time, Wait ’Till I Tire Out || Mikey and Amanda

Drunk and alone, Amanda had gotten her bar tab taken care of by a guy who thought he’d score with her in the bathroom just before closing time. He wouldn’t, but Amanda would let him think it all he wanted. What was the harm in that? Perhaps sometimes Amanda took her “work attitude” on the road with her, but hell if it didn’t save her every penny she could scrap together. She called an Uber and told the driver to go somewhere that wasn’t her apartment, but sure as hell felt like home.

Amanda knocked thrice, the final one sending her back a step. She laughed a little and leaned a hand on the doorframe to keep her balance. “You—” She began, her hazy eyes taking a moment to realize that she was not, in fact, knocking on Mikey’s door. “Oh shit, not you,” She slurred, waving her hand and stumbling away. “Oohh mmmyy goooodddd,” She dragged the words out as she went to the next door (which was the proper one), and again knocked thrice. If she’d been perhaps just a twinge more sober, she’d see that this was an awful idea because if she had answered the door, Amanda would be left to retreat with her tail between her legs. But now, Amanda was confidently, romantically, gloriously drunk and hell if she cared if she was about to set her last shred of dignity aflame. “Mikey. Hey. Mike-y,” She said, leaning into the door frame. “Hi.”

Mikey hadn’t really done all that much recently. For a new king he’d done surprisingly little. All throughout history, once being appointed, kings and queens had devoted their first couple of months changing legislation or making public appearances. Mikey had done nothing of the sort. He’d sat through the coronation with a grim look on his face, he’d attended the ball but left within half an hour. Reeling with shock and grief for his father, Mikey was a shell of the man he had been just a month prior.

At the sound of a knock on the apartment door Mikey simply assumed that Abby would answer it. It was only after a couple of moments that he remembered that Abby wasn’t there - out at training or a run or the gym or something - and so he sighed wistfully. Mikey pushed himself out of his desk chair, setting down the official papers, of which he had read the first line 31 times over but had ventured no further, and headed towards the door. He opened it, not really sure who to expect, but at the sight of a clearly drunk Amanda he felt the corners of his mouth turn upwards. “Hey,” he said, feeling like a small piece of light was returning to his life. “Amand-a.” Mikey teased before standing back. “Are you coming in or are you too drunk?” He smirked.