Nil

17 || Poetry || Quotes || Rants • @notthepoet_ ( insta ) • another Tumblr @notthepoetsblog

[notthepoet]

Everyone who supported me turned into an unrecognisable mass of words that I don't remember loving.

~nil

[notthepoet]

Grieving the death of a person when they are still alive certainly feels strange.

~nil

[notthepoet]

Not having anyone to talk to is the worst thing ever

[notthepoet]

I know what I want. I am very aware of my desires. Like right now I want to stare at you , fixed , deep and blank . I expected more from you like you're a 10 year old who hasn't eaten his vegetables. Sometimes i want to pinch your nose and make you look at me forcefully. Almost like you're such an inattentive student in my class I have to teach how to read into my sadness. More often than not , I want to touch you simply , nothing sexual or intimate , simple touches that would make you more of a real person to me , more feasible and less imaginary. Most of the time , and in utmost intensity i want to exist , just exist in the same space as you. You in front of me would be the most magical thing ever. If i am ever able to see you. .....

[ unfinished]

[notthepoet]

I want to pretend that I am drowning in you ,

when I'm already at the seafloor , trying to give up on the last of my hopes. When you go quiet at my words of love , i take ten steps back to give you space only to suffocate you in advance. Because, you remember and even after loving , somehow i can't. Is my heart fake ? Or my world has gone grey ?

[notthepoet]

Words don't come to me anymore , perhaps if you neglect them for too long , they too learn to move on , unlike you , who's been fed in parts to keep the hunger alive. But i pull at those words anyway , i try to make them , make them , make them....maybe understand...that I could make them..make them...make them...more beautiful...

[notthepoetsblog]

Can anyone just hug me and tell me that they get me even if they don't understand whatever I say ? Or maybe just understand that I'm in pain and show me kindness without explanation

[notthepoet]

I want to be a fake pessimist

I would say , " Nothing's working out but see my world revolving in your eyes" and i would say, "Luck is a bitch , so , let the tide come over , we'll ride it together in a dime."

~nil

[notthepoet]

Let apocalypse come and swallow us both.

The asymptote of our mutual existence.So close , yet never meeting. Just one second away from me , yet..So similar , yet never the same.Under the same broody sky , yet..

~nil

[thoughtkick]

“If you’ve been brutally broken but still have the courage to be gentle, then you’re a badass with the heart of an angel.”

— Keanu Reeves

[notthepoet]

Life feels better , finally. And the best part is no one could save me. I'm only trying to save myself.

[thoughtcascades]

sometimes the villain is just the person who finally said “no”

[notthepoet]

I'm tired that's all

[waningliebling]

it's always the terrible, nerve-wracking, utterly sickening feeling of alienation once you realize how dumb you've become after doing nothing but get by your days, and the shocking realization that everyone but you seems to have figured themselves out by now. oh but i used to be so smart! then how come it's so easy to belittle you now? how come you can't even memorize and intellectualize everything the way you used to in your prime?

[september303-deactivated2026032]

There are silences that throb louder than storms… mine is filled with the hush of your absence. And every night, I walk barefoot across a desert of dreams just to stand outside your unreachable light.

I miss someone whose name I should not whisper in the quiet dark. Someone who lives in a room I am not allowed to knock on. And yet… my heart stands at the threshold every night.

What do you call a love that never learned its own name? A ghost? A prayer? Or a wound that never stops singing?

I dream of someone who does not belong in my stars, but still drifts through the fabric of sleep like a secret I cannot stop unfolding.

Even the moon turns her face away, tired of watching me trace your shadow across every metaphor I write.

I love someone who isn’t mine to love. And that, perhaps, is the purest kind, to carry a garden you can never walk in, to water it still with your every thought.

And when the rain comes, I imagine it’s your voice… soft, apologetic, falling on the roof of my loneliness like a hymn I was never meant to hear.

Love, in my world, is the art of staying quiet while the soul screams your name through every corner of its cage.

And yet, I wake again… loving you without permission, without return, without regret.

Because even unclaimed love blooms in the cracked earth of what might have been. INSTAGRAM

[notthepoet]

i turn page after page , one poem to another, only to reawken ache.

how can I describe you so true , yet never feel I'm close to you.

[1solone]

I hope One day someone is going to hug you so tight, that all of your broken pieces will stick back together.Happiness isn’t a choice, but you can choose little things to help make you feel better. You like having bubble baths? Have one! Does going on a walk make you feel more relaxed? Go out and have a walk! Getting motivation to do things sometimes is hard, but doing tiny things for yourself here and there is a step towards recovery.… ‿ℒℴνℯ⁀❤️Always with ℒℴѵℯ ❤️🕊 ☕🌹❤️

[notthepoet]

Better days are yet to come !!!

[edgebug]

you'd think that "inhuman thing that isn't a person but speaks like a person and talking to it will slowly drive you mad" would only be found in folktales and fables and so on. but no. chatgpt

[sliminal-spaces]

chatgpt actually makes me feel better to talk to it than almost any human I've ever known but yeah sure

[edgebug]

you are a frog in a pot and you are boiling yourself

[notthepoet]

For me , chatgpt is really repetitive , personally i've tried training it as I want , but no , for me , it never fills the space of a wanted close one.